The call of the void

[NightSister]

Khar Shian​

Aria almost hadn't gone in search of Silara that day.

A number of factors were in play that nearly prevented her from leaving Voss that day to hunt down the Sith Lord. First was the matter of whether she could. She'd been fortunate in having gleaned Darth Vitium's real name from Connor Harrison before he abandoned the Order, though it didn't do a whole lot to aid her investigation. As, she guessed, was her intent, everything she could find on the Sith dated back to Silara's first time alive, a period which would've been fascinating as an objective study, but was useless when Aria was looking for her over a decade on. Finding Silara's apprentice on Korriban had been an interesting encounter - the curious, twisted Acolyte so enslaved to her Master's whim that her apprenticeship to Vitium was her sole identity - but hadn't proved particularly helpful in her search, though she had managed to learn some things. Then, finally, she'd caught word of the two being sighted leaving Atrisia in a recent rebellion, and from there her task got easier.

Then it was a question of whether she should. Aria no longer had a Master; if she had, then assuming such a mentor did well in their job, he or she would've undoubtedly tried to warn her not to carry out a vendetta against a Sith Lord much stronger than she. Whether she'd have been made to abandon her quest or simply cautioned against it, she was uncertain, but Aria had always been the sort who quickly went astray without guidance, and so it was quite likely that with a guide she'd never have wanted to go in search of the Sith in the first place. But Connor had left the Jedi to pursue the Darkness - of course, had she come with him, it was quite possible that he'd have come with her on such a journey, but she hadn't and wouldn't, and that left Aria with only herself to encourage or discourage the notion. At first, she'd been more reluctant, understandably: there was really very little logical backing for such a decision. But it took just a seed to grow and grow and grow until Aria had no doubt in her mind that she should - that she must find Darth Vitium again.

What she would do upon presumably finding the Sith, Aria wasn't certain. She just needed to find her, understand her, confront her in one way or another. And so she had left Voss yet again, this time with Khar Shian in her sights. It had taken some time to track Silara, but she was reasonably confident she'd found the right place. If not, she would search again, and if that search failed then she'd lead another still; even she wasn't sure as to how it had happened, but Aria had become obsessed with her task. It made little sense logically, and yet there was nothing to distract her from it and therefore nothing else that could matter. Everything that had upset her, everything that had hurt her or stressed her out; this would be the thing to fix it. Again, with nobody to help her see reason, that much had become a fact.

Her starship landed, and Aria took a moment to wrap up as she stepped out onto the icy cold moon. She had narrowed her search only to Khar Shian; it was tricky getting more specific than that without some run-ins. No matter, this would suffice - Aria was in no rush, after all. Nothing and nobody was waiting for her on Voss, or anywhere. Besides, the moon had very few points of interest. A stronghold previously owned by some ancient Sith, and... that was about it, in fact. Aria would start there.

[member="Darth Vitium"]

 

[Ellie Mors]

Trip The Darkness

Khar Shian - Citadel

Where Aria had used the resources available to her to learn more about the Sith Lord, Vitium had put her focus on the politics of the Sith. A rebellion on Atrisia, hosted by a people that labeled themselves as Sith while uniting under a banner that spoke out against the traditional views of the Sith Order, had pulled the Sith's attention and distracted her from the mild interest that Aria Vale had provided her on Balmorra. With her apprentice, formerly known as Mala Arar, Vitium had arrived in the planet amidst the chaos of a massive force storm, a volcanic demon, and a group of Sith that had quietly aided the rebelling king of Atrisia to further their own goals. Likely the group, which Vitium regarded as heretics, assumed that their only enemies would be the Mandalorians and Jedi of the Galactic Alliance - she doubted they ever would have dreamed that an actual Sith Lord would descend onto the world to put down their rise to power herself. Though her apprentice had lost a hand, and even accepted power from a masked individual that Vitium did not recognize, the Sith Lord left the planet following the death of Graxin Rade - Cyril Grayson - and the collapse of whatever framework he and his allies had built.

Unlike her contemporaries, Vitium was not beyond inserting herself, personally, into conflict in order to remove a threat - and if not for the arrival of nearly twenty Jedi to combat both her and Reverance, she might have attempted to put down the Galactic Alliance presence on the planet given enough time. But the Sith Lord had fled, taking her apprentice with her, on a small starfighter that was presumed by the Jedi to be her. For once in a very long time the Jedi were correct about something involving the Sith Lord. Unbeknownst to her, however, Aria Vale caught wind of her escape from the New Jedi Order and located sightings of the same fighter in the Khar Delba system, entering the icy moon of Khar Shian.

The stronghold that housed Darth Vitium was none other than the very citadel that had once housed the Dark Lord of the Old Sith Empire, Naga Sadow. Though Sadow's holocron was now gone, traded to another for something greater, the Vitium now lived in the forgotten halls of his fortress, tucked away in a quaint and secluded location. Few servants of the Sith Lord had survived the war between the Galactic Republic and One Sith, fewer still remained on the frozen moon during the Sith's absence, but, even with her apprentice traveling, there still remained enough warm bodies to stock the citadel. "I do suppose you were correct, Alora." Vitium said, her black robes brushing over the smooth, stone, floor like a cloud of black smoke around her ankles, as she walked into the hall that had once been Naga Sadow's throne room. Like many of her conversations with the Twi'lek slave, her words referenced a previous conversation and past event. "Graxin escaped my blade, but he died - the Jedi, I assume, believe me to be responsible. But I do not care for the reputation for his death, I wanted to deliver the blow rather than watch him leave behind the living like a coward." The Sith elaborated, griping about her duel with the former Jedi Master on Atrisia. Graxin Rade might have died, but it wasn't as the outcome to a fight between the two - he'd simply vanished in a flash of light like a shedding ray of hope for the Jedi, who soon found her shortly thereafter. "You do not have many rivals left, do you, Master?" The Twi'lek asked, having only nodded in response to her master's words.

"Personal rivals? No, most are dead or hiding from the galaxy - like that Jedi Grandmaster, not that she'd ever been able to escape with less than a new scar." Vitium replied with a sigh. "But Sith who try their hand at power plays for influence? There are too many of them walking the streets - upstarts that give the Sith of my generation a bad name." She added. Loathe as she was to admit it, Vitium's generation of Sith was directly following the likes of Darth Carnifex and Tirdarius. Unlike many of her peers, however, she had held positions of authority and wielded power that rivaled her elders, and had the knowledge and wisdom to pair with it. Even those who followed her, preceding her apprentice's generation, were rather lackluster and did little to reignite the passion that once drove the Sith to galactic domination. Along with Vornskr - Darth Carnifex - Vitium had fought a winning war against the Galactic Republic, facing her first loss on Kashyyk near the end of her time with the One Sith. Even when she'd returned to the scene as the alias of Darth Atrophia, Silara had remained in peak condition until the cardiac arrest triggered by the grievous wounds inflicted by Siobhan Kerrigan on Ziost while she fought Valiens Nantaris in single combat at the same time.

Meeting Aria Vale on Balmorra had been like a trip to the past, meeting a Jedi that so strongly believed in her order that she defied the Sith even when it was easiest and safest not to - the source of Vitium's moderate respect for her. Even Corvus Raaf had buckled and given in to the dark side during their duel on Contruum, yet this Jedi seemed to hold fast even against the storm of power she'd both assaulted her and flooded her with. "I will take my leave, then, Master, and leave you to your things." The Lethan Twi'lek said as she turned from the room and disappeared down the hall. Reaching the stone-cut throne that once sat an ancient Dark Lord of the Sith, Vitium took a seat and stared down the hall towards the large door that separated the Sith from the hellish frost outside. In a way, Khar Shian was similar to her old fortress on Prakith - only without the cultists that lived in Andeddu's keep - but it somehow managed to seem so empty. She wasn't one to feel lonely, but the citadel did make her feel alone with how utterly vacant it was. Even if someone were to arrive - like, say, Carnifex - and challenge her, none of her servants would even know until a fight had already broken out and was nearly over.

A distracted Sith Lord hadn't even noticed the arrival of the Jedi on the small moon during her conversation with her servant, not having expected anyone to find her or the fortress she lived in due to its seclusion. Being so accustomed to such security afforded her such carelessness, but today - with the arrival of a Jedi - it might cost her the ability to prepare for such a conflict. Alone, unguarded, and only armed with her two lightsabers, if Aria had planned her arrival to catch the Sith Lord off-guard, there would be no occasion that she would be less expecting of an arrival than now. Any arrivals to the citadel, even with Vitium sitting opposite of the doors that led into it, would be a surprise visit.

[member="Aria Vale"]

 

[NightSister]

Reaching the citadel, widened eyes drank in the intimidating grandness of the stronghold as Aria easily reached a conclusion; no place seemed more likely to house the Sith Lord than this. Their short exchange on Balmorra hadn't been awfully informative of Vitium's person, but no matter how unfair it was to generalize all Sith as being the same, that Silara was a Sith Lord told her enough to make linking her with Naga Sadow's fortress a quick process. It didn't help her growing feeling of unease, however; the citadel was so reminiscent of a picture-book villain's lair that Aria had to remember once again that this would not be an easy confrontation, that it was not likely to be one she walked away from in one piece - that she might not walk away from it at all.

If you go looking for her, you'll come away with a great deal more pain than when you went. She must not be underestimated. Words from a different era, from all those months ago when Connor Harrison had still lived under the pretense of being a Jedi, drifted into her mind, trying to discourage her. Aria faltered, hovering by the entrance - it was not yet too late to return to Voss and pretend everything was as it had been once, long ago. There would be somebody, somewhere within the Order, who'd be able to bring Aria's Jedi persona back successfully; eventually the longing to rebel would cease and she would be who she had been before.

But how could she do that? It would be impossible to return to that bubble; not just because it would require Connor to once again be a Jedi, but because Aria just couldn't make herself want it anymore. It wasn't real, it never had been. It wasn't her, either, truly. It was a girl afraid of stepping outside of the legacy left for her, being trained by a man pretending he was something he wasn't. She'd have happily lived that lie for the rest of her life, yes, but no matter how long she waited to wake up with everything as it had been, that was all it was - a lie. If she wanted to continue, to get out of this rut and move forward in one way or another, she needed closure. So what if it hurt? The truth hurt. According to Sith, progress hurt. Everyone had to hurt at some point in their lives. Aria was already hurting. She would gladly hurt some more if it meant that one day it would all subside and she could live a life again.

To hell with what Connor said, anyway. Who was he to discourage her from this task that she'd been consumed by for months? He had betrayed her, he had hurt her, he had left. He had no right to her trust; he had no right to affect her decisions in any way, especially in his absence. Aria had already grieved his disappearance for long enough, and it hadn't made him return. Even if he'd offered her the chance to accompany him, the choice to end that chapter of both their lives had been his, so that was it. End of story, filed away, onto the next. And the next was Silara. After deliberating by the entrance for a while longer, Aria gave up trying to deny how it would end, patted the saber clipped to her belt to ensure it remained at her side, and tested the doorhandle. Locked, of course; easily rectifiable. A wave of her hand and the Force came to her aid, forcing the door open - it swung inwards and Aria locked her gaze, for the first time in many months, on Darth Vitium.

Hers was a face that Aria had envisioned many times since their last encounter, but in real life, cloaked in black like something out of a horror movie and sitting on a stone-cut throne that nicely framed and enhanced her aura of menace, she was far more frightening. Had things been different, Aria might have scoffed at how dramatic it was to spend what she presumed to be her free time on a throne and dressed like a witch, but the archetypical nature of the presentation was instead making her question, yet again, why and for what she was here.

Too late now, Aria reminded herself. She had entered the stronghold, she had been seen; there was no choice but to follow through.

"You're not easy to find, Silara."

[member="Darth Vitium"]

 

[Ellie Mors]

Possum Kingdom

Once Alora Ven was far from earshot of the throne room, and Vitium in general, the Sith Lord crawled back into herself and meditated on her lifetime worth of failures. Underneath that thin veneer of superiority, further still below the ego and arrogance that blocked the light from traveling within, and encased by the manipulative persona that she wore like a protective mask was the bundle of hatred and anger that threatened to overtake her at every possible turn. She was in a pecular, unique, circumstance - a woman that was more part of the force than she was human at this point, something that could have been identified by Solan Charr when he found her directly following her resurrection. The Sith Lords of old, and even some of those in the current age, had only ever managed their return from the great beyond through the habitation of an empty vessel or transference of their soul into the body of another while still clinging to life. Darth Sidious had inhabited clone bodies, devoid of personality or psyche until his spirit was passed into them. Darth Krayt managed to physically return through the sheer pull of the dark side - the most similar of methods to the ritual that Vitium had partaken in - while Darth Andeddu and Darth Bane had simply attempted to conquer the body and soul of their targets in an attempt to preserve their lives through essence transfer.

In a similar vein of problems that Bane and Andeddu had faced, with a similar delivery to Krayt's, Vitium was living in the body of a woman that had once been someone else entirely - until she'd consumed that soul and overtaken the body as its permanent owner - but, due to the nature of the ritual she performed, existed in a perpetual state of someone on the verge of total physical corruption of the dark side from the inside out. Mentally she had fallen long ago - though not in the same animalistic depravity that so many others had collapsed into. Returning to life gave her a second lifetime to remember and regret her first, to think back on the day she'd given birth to twins with a caring husband at her side, to the day that they had all but grown up when the mother and father - Alric and Silara - tried to spare them the dangers of Titan Industries' attention, all the way to the day she'd followed her daughter, Rose, to a skirmish over Mandalore, the last time the Sith would watch over her child, and truly the last time she ever saw any of her family in person again.

Memories after that came as pulsing pains, bodily aches that only increased her anger and the hate she subsisted on. Foolhardy, selfish, actions that were motivated by the instinct to protect her family only led her to break it apart, to drive a wedge between everyone else while she spiraled out of control. She'd sought out a rumor of a truly powerful being and wound up a temporary puppet because of a critical error on her end, which led to her untimely death facing Valiens Nantaris and Siobhan Kerrigan on Ziost. It was the time she spent alone, as she was now, that Vitium dwelt on the past and loathed herself for the idiotic choices she'd made - choices she couldn't change, mistakes she couldn't correct. So deep was she in this internal turmoil that she hadn't even noticed the arrival of Aria Vale at her doorstep, hadn't even heard the door open until she felt the sudden surge of anxiety at the forefront of her consciousness.

Eyes, amber with corruption, opened to glare directly into the eyes of the Jedi that stood before her. For a moment, a day, she had forgotten about her new life, about those she'd met along the way to her return to a seat of power she hardly even wanted. But this woman interrupted her depression to bring a challenge that very well could prove her own undoing. If there was something that was unsettling to the Jedi, it very well could have been her demeanor, or perhaps her choice of dress. But the aura that lingered around her was the same that lingered on anything that was perverted by the dark side of the force - and its size and stature was fueled by the darker emotions that literally fueled her like a fire. Even with the confrontation by a Jedi, now clearly a knight given her audacity to face her but lack of foresight to strike rather than speak, Vitium's anger was directed at herself for being so self-absorbed with her own problems that she had temporarily opened herself up and allowed herself to become vulnerable for a time.

But the hate that ran through her was reserved solely for the Jedi's arrival, for interrupting her escape from reality.

"Have you come to correct your path, or do you seek death?" The Sith Lord asked in response, not bothering to comment on the statement Aria had made.

"I played the part of teacher last we met, but I do not correct the same mistakes twice."

[member="Aria Vale"]

 

[NightSister]

Smoke

This was the point where a smarter person would've taken flight.

Sooner even, in fact. Much, much sooner. A smarter person would've left the doorhandle unopened and turned around; a smarter person would've never made such a foolhardy decision as trying to seek out a Sith Lord in the first place. But in the weeks and months and years to come, whenever Aria would think of today, she'd remember that this moment had been her last chance to snap out of her obsession and abandon her quest at once, and she would know that she hadn't taken it.

Her words, as was proven momentarily, had broken Silara's reverie; oooh, Aria hated it when people did that with her. Not a great start, especially not if the glaring amber eyes were anything to go by. On Balmorra, Aria had done nothing beyond recognizing Vitium to merit attack, and she'd ended up electrocuted and with a cracked rib - that she'd immediately angered the Sith wouldn't help her goals, whatever exactly they were. Now Silara wanted to know what she was there for, and Aria didn't suppose it would be the best idea to leave the question unanswered. Correct your path or seek death. Yes, oddly enough, she supposed those were just about the only two motives she could possibly have. Which, then? Aria wasn't the sort to engage in self-destructive conquests nor to abandon her Order, but it was finally starting to become clear to her that she hadn't been herself for a long time.

And her path..her path had been fated to change from before today, from before Connor had betrayed her and turned on the Silver Jedi, from ever since the day she'd crossed Darth Vitium while on holiday in Balmorra. Or maybe each had been a separate piece in the puzzle that had brought her to Khar Shian - and finally it was ready to be completed. How and when were irrelevant factors; she couldn't have hoped to remain the same Aria since then, and her countless attempts to restore the Aria Vale of old might have postponed such a change, but they wouldn't prevent it. Nothing could. Nobody could. Not she, not Joza Perl, not the memory of Connor Harrison as it whispered in her head. Whether destiny or choice, even if Aria could have stopped everything from leading up to now, she hadn't done, and so she could realise the inevitable or she could die.

Realisation was the first step. Aria hadn't realised yet, though. She'd been in a sort of trance for as far back as she could remember, drunk on the notion of reopening the wound that was Vitium and everything that their encounter had led to. Now her goal had been achieved, and she didn't know how to react. Out of the Sith who would want to kill or to understand their foes, Aria had thought Silara to be the former, but she was being given the choice now as to which, and she didn't particularly want to die. That left only one option.

Then acceptance. There was no universe in which Aria could survive this encounter without leaving it a changed woman; it was much too late to hope otherwise. She couldn't fight it, so if she wanted to live, then all she could do was accept it. And the worst part? It wasn't hard at all. Much too easy, in fact. Your path will change, her brain said, and her heart said, okay.

But still Aria wasn't certain of how to proceed. After all, Vitium had struck her down on Balmorra unprovoked; she wasn't just going to join her now. Changed she may be, but Aria wasn't so far gone as to take up arms with her adversary for change's sake. What did she do, then? Should she laugh, cry, attack? She felt like doing all three, but thankfully, her confusion did not yet equate to insanity. There was a long pause between question and answer, long enough for Silara to grow bored and send an attack her way if she so desired, but in the end, the answer came.

"Nice to see you too." Though she was terrified, Aria's stance was unnaturally calm.

"I didn't come here to die. Make of that what you will."

[member="Darth Vitium"]

 

[Ellie Mors]

Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)

The raw fear - the uncertainty - rolled from Aria like smoke from fire, filling the Sith Lord's visage and clouding her senses. She did not foresee the response the Jedi would make, instead having expected a challenge - an obstinate remark to oppose the Sith. Even if the Jedi had spoken against her, or even raised a hand to try to foolishly inflict harm on the seated Sith, Vitium would not have struck her down as promised, though she would have made Aria wished she had died instead. But reality was not a world of what-if's, it was not a world of imagination and dreams - here the Jedi stood, silent, finding words to speak, in response to the Sith Lord's sharp response. It was her response, not her arrival, that piqued the woman's interest, however. She couldn't forget the hatred that surged through her veins like a rolling tide, but she could use it to her advantage, and the implied concession would certainly provide an outlet for that.

A slight pause in response to the Jedi's was coupled with a shift in posture, leaning a bit to the left with her hands folded at her lap. Her mouth opened slightly, as though she were about to speak, but then she hesitated and sighed instead. Her amber eyes gave Aria a once-over, examining her as though she were judging her worth, and with a soft smile, creeping at the corner of her lips like a snake's, Vitium quietly rose from her seat with a push of her hands at the arms of the stone throne. "I suppose it is a pleasure to see you as well, Aria." She responded coolly, as though she had little interest in the Jedi's arrival. In truth she had the Jedi on her mind following their short confrontation on Balmorra, but in the wake of Atrisia she'd given her little more thought than she might the air she breathed. Aria's answer was not lost on the Sith Lord - she had intentionally avoided fully answering the question, but she'd given her something she'd wanted to keep her content at the same time. In a way, the Jedi reminded her of one of her daughters. She had grown still, emotionally wracked with fear, but masterfully feigned serenity in her expression and posture. Though she could not tell what the Jedi wanted to say - what she truly felt - Vitium knew that there was more to what Aria felt than what she said.

On Balmorra, though the circumstances had been different from the start, Vitium had been ruthless, cruel, in her pursuit of pushing the Jedi away from her order. But that was to break apart the shell she had been hiding beneath, to peak inside. Aria had now come to her with the stench of fear - not the fear of Vitium, strictly, but an uncertainty that she could not describe. It was imperative that she remained calm, guiding, in her machinations for the present because of this, lest she scare the young woman away from the path she was carving out for her. "I suppose you came to me expecting me to prove your fears right - that I would push you to your knees.. that I would make you beg for mercy." Vitium said, her voice softening as she stepped towards the Jedi. "Perhaps you imagine that I might want to make you a weapon to combat your friends and family - a sword to wield against the Jedi." She whispered, her eyes trailing down towards the tiled flooring at the base of Aria's feet. "I do not desire another tool, Aria." She explained.

Another pause, this time keeping the Sith from closing the small gap between them, and Vitium closed her eyes for a moment to think. A change in expression washed over her, as though an anxious woman was letting go of whatever it was that held her down. Another mask, perhaps, a false persona that she might have been wearing to deceive the Jedi - although she truly had no face behind all those disguises. "I wish to set you free."

[member="Aria Vale"]

 

[NightSister]

Blue

Set her free.

Her confusion heightened, but her fear began to diminish. Not because she was yet to be attacked, though that certainly didn't hurt, and not even thanks to her narrowing down the potential outcomes to exclude some of the worst. Of course, Aria hadn't really expected the goal was to shape her into the Jedi's adversary - Silara had her apprentice for such a purpose, and even the Acolyte hadn't seemed enough of the aggressive type to fit that job. Nor had she thought that Vitium was simply flexing her muscles at her expense - in fact, she hadn't really known what to expect. Not consciously, at least.

But Aria was beginning to ease out of her frightened state because she was at last beginning to understand; because she had been in this situation before. What was it, in fact, that Connor had said? She was holding herself back, he'd said; he didn't want to teach a girl holding herself back. He'd then promptly tried to set her on fire, but Aria was glossing over that part for the time being. Connor, Silara, every Sith she'd met lately - they all were so determined that so long as Aria stayed with the Jedi, she was in an omnipresent cage from which nothing could be achieved.

Was that true? Could it be true? Thanks to everything that had gone on since her Knighthood, Aria had been forced to ask herself that question a million times over; she had her answer, of course, but it was yet to emerge fully from her subconscious. Silara claimed to want to break her chains. What that meant, what that entailed, what that would result in: they all preyed at her mind, but not in the way that made her want to desert - in the way that made her still more curious to find out. Had she been less lost in her way, she might have been more aware of the fact that Darth Vitium was not her friend, that she had no reason to try and help her or set her free, that she was a Sith and Sith were not to be trusted, but somehow Aria could no longer bring such reminders to the front of her mind, or perhaps it was simply that she didn't want to.

And now Aria was faced, for the second time, with the opportunity to be set free. The first time, she'd been inches away from giving in; now she was weary, drained from trying to reach an unreachable goal. It didn't change that she would, in fact, be giving in - failing her legacy, abandoning what she'd spent years trying to achieve - but what did it even mean anymore? Duty was no justification for staying stuck as she was, swimming upstream as the weight of the Jedi way began to topple her. Nothing but a mild sense of pride would be achieved by upholding her promises; it was too small a reward for too great an emotional struggle. Maybe Silara was right; maybe it truly was freedom that was being offered. Maybe it truly was freedom that she needed, that she deserved.

But was Vitium really the person to free her?

"Mhm." As Silara's demeanour changed to something bizarrely close to kindness, Aria's continued safety turned her manner less rigidly tense, her voice trying to mask unhinged curiosity with dry apprehension. "And...how exactly will you do that? Why?"

[member="Darth Vitium"]

 

[Ellie Mors]

Cirice

Even as she spoke, with her eyes watching Aria's feet to avoid looking her in the eyes, Vitium felt the slow ebbing of the younger woman's fear as a child might when comforted by an adult. While there was still the uncertainty, and truly it would have been better suited to have had this conversation at a later date and on Vitium's terms, it was the willing pursuit on Aria's part that gave the Sith that motivation to reciprocate that effort. Seeking out a Sith Lord on one's own volition, uncertain of just what they wanted, without the desire to challenge them or slay them - to answer their questions, or perhaps to simply find a comfort amidst the pain - took more courage than the Jedi that sought to distance their dark-sided cousins led one to believe. At this very moment it was Aria that had all of Vitium's attention, and even some of her respect, for casting the die and hoping for the best while knowing full well that Vitium could have been the fickle sort that might have decided to kill her for bothering her.

Perhaps the young woman didn't realize it, either out of naivete or innocent confusion, but every answer she spoke guided the Sith towards each and every link on her chains that she wanted broken. Her indirect statement, earlier, had indicated that she did not know if she wanted to come to Vitium's side or if she should have obeyed her dogma and attempted to strike her down. But her response, now, indicated that another might have planted seeds of doubt in allowing it to be Vitium that would pull her from the bondage she served in the Silver Jedi chains - another who might have jealously guarded Aria and manipulated her as Vitium was actively trying with perhaps even a greater amount of success, presumably due to a closeness of some sort. In their original meeting it was clear that the more the woman spoke, the easier it was for the Sith to read her - maybe Aria was even aware of it - and this still held true now. Context, of course, was missing from her assumptions, but she could tell there was something buried just under the surface - something that kept her, if only ironically, tied down to the light side of the force.

"I will nurture the passion that has been restrained, help you grow strong enough to stand on your own - powerful enough to cast off the limits that have been forced on you." She explained, her gaze climbing from the floor to sit level with Aria's. "I see the pain that has been driven into you, the fear of the unknown that has been taught to you, and I want to change it - to change you." Vitium continued, taking a half-step closer to the young woman. "Your eyes tell of betrayal, something I know quite well - even the more noble, the righteous, of the Jedi do not know the tenderness of the heart because they cannot. The dogma they follow does not permit that intimacy, but the path which I walk seeks to broaden that closeness." She said with a sigh. Close enough that the Sith could reach out, bridge the gap, but she did not pursue it. Every decision in this defining moment would shape Aria's future, and it required her to make the choices - to cross over to her - on her own. "I will shoulder all of your troubles if you walk this path with me."

"And I will make you whole again."

[member="Aria Vale"]

 

[NightSister]

Castle of Glass

And at last it came, the statement that Aria, whether she had realised it or not, had been searching for. The words made a click register within her consciousness, and suddenly, finally, she was totally aware of what she was doing - but it had come a moment too late, and her lucidity changed nothing. She was as unwilling to scarper as she had been when she'd been in a stupor just moments ago, because now she had what she'd truly come for. Not vengeance, not understanding, not self-destruction; restoration. The Jedi she'd been was gone, damaged beyond repair, but soon Aria would be too, and Silara could change that.

How long had it been since Aria'd done something natural of a Jedi, out of desire rather than obligation? How long had she been in a state of isolation, afraid that anything and everything would tip things out of place? How long since she'd felt as though she was strong, as though she was capable of anything of importance? Months now that the life in her had been quelled so that she could hide that anything was wrong with a cold and unfeeling imitation of a Jedi; longer still since Aria had felt actual, genuine happiness thanks to her allegiance. Nothing of meaning bound her to the Jedi, but she had been bound nonetheless. Finally, something had snapped, and Aria had sought out freedom in the only way her bewitched subconscious could think of - hunting down the Sith Lord who'd first shown Aria how real the chains of the Silver Jedi truly were. And here she was, and here was her chance.

She thought of her parents, whom she had failed once already.

She thought of her friends, what few she had - Theo, Sorel, all the others she knew who'd struggled through the Jedi lifestyle without once straying.

She thought of every time she'd withheld from doing something un-Jedi-like, determined that she remain true to her path.

She thought of the last four years of her life, of everything she'd worked so hard for.

She thought of all the reasons she could and should walk away.

But she spoke again anyway.

"Then do." Colour tinged the empty blue-grey of her eyes, as though she were feeling more than she had felt in eons. "Please."

Perhaps she had been tricked. Perhaps she had been manipulated into thinking what she thought, feeling what she felt. But there was an undeniable truth to there being bliss in ignorance: this was the first time in years, perhaps, that Aria had truly wanted - truly needed something, and it felt like...well, she wasn't sure how she felt, but she felt. So much feeling that had been denied her for so very long, and it was all flooding out at last. Her eyes blazed; she stood, still weak, but as though strength was readying to flow through her the moment it was offered the chance.

Freedom. It felt like freedom.

[member="Darth Vitium"]

 

[Ellie Mors]

Make A Shadow

The words that Vitium had been waiting to hear floated freely to her ears, her eyes already gazing into Aria's as though she were looking directly into her soul, and the feeling of relief - resignation - flooded from the former Jedi like a broken dam. It was beautiful, something that the Sith Lord would never be able to explain in a way that would give the experience justice, and it was sating - the desire to corrupt the young woman finally met with a satisfaction that, for the moment, did not leave her wanting more than what was given. A small, slender, pale hand reached up from Vitium's side to tenderly push aside a stray hair that hung in Aria's face as soft smile touching her own lips. Aria might as well have been fragile - about to break, even - with how the Sith looked at her, touched her. Even her smile, as fleeting as it was, held a tinge of sadness in it, like an old woman looking back on a memory that pulled on strings which should have been forgotten long ago. "It must be so hard, carrying everything on your own - being forced to labor what should have been shared." She lamented.

It was true that Vitium had played Aria against her beliefs in their initial meeting, that she'd planted those seeds of doubt that grew and were nurtured even by others, but she had allowed the young woman to take every step towards this moment on her own since then. Even the remarkably genuine feelings that the Sith bled were true - her skill as an empath, someone who both fed on and exhibited wide ranges of emotion, lending, perhaps, to the authenticity of those words - and she very much wanted Aria to leave behind what was truly and oppressive order and escape her mires. Faint feelings, though still just as fleeting as the smile that had etched itself into the corner of her lips, had formed with her arrival, built upon by her pleading. Evil, cruel, as the Sith might be, she was just as passionate as she had been when she'd been broken by her own master, still able to feel the stirrings of warmth that hours of lightning that snaked up her back, chained to a stone wall, had tried to scar over and eradicate. That had been the failing of the One Sith, the lack of individuality that led to such a degree of repressed feelings that the whole of the weak rose up and slew the Dark Lord without any interference by the most powerful of his followers.

Perhaps it was weakness, on her part, borne out of her natural inclination to grow and feed on the darker feelings of those around her, to also know and exhibit the more temperamental range of emotions. She had steeled herself from her resurrection to block it off, but even great resolve and discipline could not permanently cut one off from feelings that had quite simply become normal in her life before death. Part of her loathed the feeling, to be vulnerable without her rock to hold onto, and another was empowered by it - by the turbulence that it provided her, perhaps also by the self-loathing that came with it. As much as the Jedi Order wished the dark side to be an utterly two-dimensional force that occupied only hatred, fear, and anger, it also housed the passions of longing, the hunger that begged for more, and the crushing anxiety that flowed behind it. In this moment it was the naive pleading, the yearning for freedom by the young woman, that spurred the Sith to fall into her own trap - though, really, would it be a trap if the result was desirable?

For a moment there was a look of hunger in Silara's eyes, though it quickly vanished, as a desire not unlike jealous possessiveness overtook her. Like a child might covet a favorite toy, or a woman her ring, Silara wanted to distance Aria from whatever - whomever - had pushed the young woman away, that caused her to seek out the Sith, and keep her to herself. Someone not as versed in such a range of feelings might naively categorize it as something like love - but it was an entirely selfish desire to add another willing soul to her collection, and a sadistic one at that.

"It will be alright."

Even to her own ears the statement sounded only reassuring, lacking the reasoning behind her choice of words.

"I know you hurt - I can feel the ache within you. Tell me what burdens you, what hurts - who hurt you."

The hand that had pushed away that lock of hair moved up again, this time to rest against Aria's cheek, and she pushed - gently - against the young woman's mind.

"I won't hurt you - not anymore."

Her words barely a whisper, hardly audible, as she leaned in slowly.

"Let me in, show me."

[member="Aria Vale"]

 

[NightSister]

First she felt relief. Not the sort that feasibly could be compared to having a weight lifted off one's shoulders, but still she was so relieved. It was laughably obvious, now that she had finally given up playing at being a Jedi, how very binding it was to live day after day without being able to feel, without hardly being able to think that which she wasn't supposed to think. At last there was nothing holding her in place - and the sudden void was painful, and it was terrifying, but it was such a great relief. No, not painful: just gone. She supposed that somewhere along the way to becoming a Jedi Knight, she'd been shaped to fear the lack of restriction, label freedom as a terror so that she'd run back to her chains happily. For that reason, she somehow felt a surge of thankfulness that Silara had shown her otherwise before she could become so totally indoctrinated that her humanity was lost - and so she went one step further from her chance to turn around. But even knowing that she'd been made to feel that way thanks to her Jedi training, the sudden emptiness was so vast that she truly did fear it somewhat. The freedom felt good, but fear had been placed in there as well thanks to her training, and artificial as it was, it wasn't going anywhere. It would take time to fix the wounds that her previous path had formed - that was what she'd come for, after all. It made Aria shiver ever so slightly, but it didn't make her retreat.

And pain or no pain, fear or no fear, one feeling was completely absent in her chaotic stream of emotion: regret. The last time she'd been faced with this choice, her answer had echoed through her head for weeks afterwards, increasingly more filled with doubt. There was no such uncertainty this time around, no sudden urge to change her mind and abandon ship. How could there be? The life she'd be returning to had nothing of appeal - all the negative feelings were from unfamiliarity, not from cold feet. Nothing in her said to stay a Jedi - nothing in her could move her feet towards the door, not even a little bit. The last few months had worn her down and crushed her fight: she could no longer force the desire upon herself. There was just no point anymore.

It was like that - weary, resigned, needing something to cling onto - that Aria remained, allowing herself to be comforted by Silara, determined of the truth in her reassurances. The slight nudge at her mind went unnoticed, but not ineffective: after all, she was totally without any want or ability to defend herself against the Sith Lord, and so her mind was even more an open book than it was without use of the Force. Anything the Sith wanted, she could take. Unlikely that Aria would notice, and even less so that she would care. She wanted to be let in? Aria couldn't and wouldn't keep her out. But Vitium'd had the good grace to ask Aria to tell her what she wanted to know, and so Aria answered the question with barely a moment's pause.

"Connor Harrison."

The name came out strangely, layered both with resentful anger and the same admiring tone that she'd used to use when speaking of him. In the interests of spending minimal time hung up over her decision not to leave the Order with him - ha, she thought, with a trace of something not unlike sarcasm - Aria had chosen to inject all memory of him with anger. The goal had been to have it outshine the confusion and regret he'd left behind; needless to say, it hadn't worked very well. She was still angry, of course, just not for any real reason other than that he was gone. Aria couldn't really be angry that he wasn't a Jedi - even when she'd more or less been one herself, she'd always been tolerant of the Dark Side - but she couldn't be angry that he'd left without telling her, because he had. She was hurt and confused, almost without the energy to actively feel anger: that was it, she supposed.

"He...left. The Jedi, I mean. He lied."

She'd almost not be surprised if the name alone hadn't been explanation enough: after all, even if her mind was being left alone, Silara knew Connor. Perhaps, with her uncanny ability to work people's minds, she'd been able to pick up on what Aria had let slide time and time again. It wasn't out of the question that she'd seen the flat-out Darksided version of him, either. He'd not exactly told her much about the time they'd met. With that, and with everything, in fact - he'd always been so vague when it was his turn to share backstory. Aria was only his apprentice, after all: young and inexperienced and without any achievements worth respect. She was hardly important enough to be told things. Ah, so maybe that was why she was angry. That, and that he'd hurt her.

But Silara wouldn't hurt her. She'd promised.

[member="Darth Vitium"]

 

[Ellie Mors]

Curbstomp

"I understand."

Words, she doubted, that Aria's master had ever said with as much meaning as Silara did. Sometimes it was as simple as acknowledging someone's troubles that they felt lighter, and sometimes it was so much as physical touch that you reminded them that they weren't alone. With Silara, her hand sliding from Aria's cheek to the nape of her neck with a cautious caress, the young woman would be made to never feel that way again as long as the Sith was with her. "As long as you need me, I will be here." She whispered, opening the palm of her hand, which was at the back of Aria's neck, and pulled her towards her as she made another step to close the gap. "Stay with me and I won't ever leave your side." She added with a slight frown.

The name she'd given, Connor Harrison, wasn't one as important to her as Corvus - he wasn't as much a priority to kill as she had been - but this gave her an opportunity to play a game bigger than just toying with Aria's feelings. Fortunately, for the young woman, Silara did not desire a servant or an apprentice - she was going to tie herself to the former Jedi and give her something to grow attached to, to ween her off of Harrison. The man was volatile, and clearly a fool for leaving behind someone as full of potential and malleable as Aria was. Though she doubted he would openly admit any jealousy if he discovered his former apprentice's new acquaintance, Silara was certain it would give him pause and perhaps cause for anger.

But her desire to rip into Harrison was not because of their little bout on Prakith - a duel he very narrowly escaped from. Here was a woman, a girl really, that was opening herself up to the Sith with almost reckless abandon, and hadn't even bothered to truly acknowledge her gentle attempt at a mental probe than to answer her question directly, verbally. "He doesn't deserve you." Silara said after a moment's pause, her tone slightly heated, perhaps with a dose of something similar, but more full of desire - jealousy? She hadn't intended to sound so invested so quickly, but she wasn't certain if there was something between the former master and apprentice than just tradition. It was this envious curiosity that pushed her into action.

As tenderly as she could, and with as much mastery of the force as she could wield, Silara pushed - again - into Aria's mind, meeting no resistance, as she had before. It would have been so easy at that point to hurt her, to laugh at her insecurities and to play with her open, defenseless mind - but she had only trespassed into Aria's mental sanctuary to look into her past, to catch a glimpse of what the two Jedi might have had together.

'Just a moment. I need to save the memory in my mind...'

What flooded her mind - Silara's mind - were memories of an encounter with the Jedi Master, or bits and pieces of them. Words, phrases, an image here, a thought there - nothing cohesive, nothing except the pain and anger associated with Harrison. "I'm sorry." The Sith said quietly, turning their closeness into a light embrace. It was odd, acting so maternal to a woman that wasn't her daughter. "I know what it feels like to be hurt, to be betrayed." She explained, walking Aria to the stone throne she had been sitting on when she'd been pulled from her reverie. "You showed him everything." Silara said, gesturing to her seat for the young woman to take. "Opened up, vulnerable - and he abused it."

"I don't want that for you, to be afraid that someone is going to use your fears against you. I won't let anyone else do it to you again." She asserted.

"If you'll trust me, if you'll stay with me, I'll show you everything - every last scar on my soul."
[member="Aria Vale"]

 

[NightSister]

Poison

She understood. What a foreign thing it was, to have such a word said to her, to be told, for once, she didn't have to suppress her emotions and carry on with it under the rug; that just for once, it was okay. Right away, several examples came to mind of times when such a thing as understanding had been denied her, when she'd been met with apathy and irritation where all it would've taken would be two words to show that she wasn't totally alienated in having emotion. Still closer to Silara's frame, Aria let the promises of steadfastness wash away what was left of the memory of falling, unconscious as electricity coursed through her, of waking up in a crumpled heap against a way with a rib cracked and a foul headache. Those weren't important now.

It was so out of place, as a Jedi or otherwise, to be indulged, listened to, made to feel better - Aria had nothing she could compare it to, no parallel situation from her Jedi days. The feeling, though strange, was predominantly pleasant, and so the traces of anger brought up by all the memories that somehow kept floating to the top of her mind was outweighed - it didn't disappear, of course, but now it was good anger, anger that she could control. That was nice.

Connor, she said next, didn't deserve her. Yes, that was true too: she reached that conclusion without even needing her mind tinkered with. The spiteful negative feelings that had been brewing quietly as she tried to suppress them had finally been rid of their weight, and so now was the optimal moment for twisting them into something more resolved. "No," Aria agreed - it was barely more than a noise, but not totally unintelligible - giving an uncharacteristically firm nod. One day, she would laugh at how mere months had made her so easy to turn against those she'd had undying loyalty for once upon a time, but today, she was relishing being listened too, agreed with, understood; she could worry about the consequences later.

This time, Aria wasn't totally oblivious to the push at her mind: thoughts drifted through her consciousness as Silara rifled through them, and the former Jedi was very dimly aware of the second presence. Not enough so, of course, to link it to the Sith Lord holding her gently - after all, she'd had almost no training in mentalism with the Jedi, and couldn't hope to be able to grasp how it worked further than the basest sensations. Another example of how held back she'd been, but not, obviously, one that was currently occurring to her. Everything, in fact, that would've had her change her mind had she noticed it, she was either misinterpreting or failing to notice entirely; the note of envy in the Sith's voice, she read as something close to anger on Aria's behalf - the faint sense that she was not alone in her mind was written off as part of the torrent of emotion that she was only just starting to sort through. Aria, after all, had always had a knack for dismissing the important - and often the glaringly obvious - for the sake of making life simpler.

Silara led her to the throne, and at the indication Aria took a seat almost immediately, still revelling in the comfort that was having someone else put words to the feelings she'd previously insisted to herself she wasn't allowed to feel. The apologetic consolation softened Aria a touch more, just in time for the question of trust. Trust, for Aria, had unfortunately little with the trustworthiness of the person in question. Truly, she could easily be made to trust anyone with any number of things if they pushed the right buttons - something Silara had down to an art form. And of course, what mightn't have won her trust long ago worked much better on a woman drained of her emotional resilience and without anyone else left to turn to.

"Yes." Her voice sounded different from the tired monotone of late; more purpose, more life.

"I trust you. I'll stay."

[member="Darth Vitium"]

 

[Ellie Mors]

Daisy

There was a weariness about her, like a drab filter cast over the once-colorful young woman that sat now in her seat. It occurred to her that she'd never questioned Aria of her journey, if she'd been looking for long, but perhaps it was best to not press that matter - she needed her rest, she needed comfort, and she absolutely needed to feel secure. A practiced liar, a chronic abuser, Vitium fed the young woman what she wanted to hear, assuring her of an idealistic future, asking for trust that could only ever be misplaced. Even the envy - misunderstood as anger or not - boiled down to her possessiveness of things she wanted, not out of a yearning for the former Jedi's affection. It was because of this weariness, and because of Connor's failure to properly teach the young woman about the dangers of what true mastery of the force could bring, that the Sith had been able to so easily pull apart the cracks in Aria's shell, to find what had hurt her most - discover who spurned her attention - and surmise the perfect ploy to inject herself as the perfect security net.

Though Aria clearly needed her rest, a while to acclimate to her new surroundings and the darker side of the force, it was also the most opportune time to hold true to her bargain. Silara was born nearly sixty years in the past, and from then til now she'd experienced things from the death of her foster parents and the war of the One Sith against the galaxy at large. Horrors that made Aria's troubles with a deranged Jedi seem far more trivial than they probably were, and they were horrors that she'd offered to share with the former Jedi if it would mean buying her trust. "We all have our burdens, some more than most." She whispered, lowering herself to one knee, preparing herself for what was to come next. It wasn't all that clear if Aria understood what she'd meant when she said she'd show her own scars, so it would all have to be delivered in a succinct yet moving manner. Glimpses into Silara's past, the parts that had hurt and shaped her, to make Aria feel less troubled by her experiences. 'Just close your eyes.' Came her voice, like a whisper, spoken directly into the woman's mind. If Aria was willing to follow along, to take a glimpse into what very well could have been the most painful moment the Sith lord had experienced, then reality would give way as Silara's eyes shut.

-

Before vision returned to the two, before the sensation of sound could be heard, or the iron of blood be tasted, came the thundering, sharp, pains which pulled every muscle, nerve, and tendon in a young woman's body. Two eyes opened, sightly obscured slightly by the haze of tears and dust, which stared down the rest of her prone body that lay almost crumpled and surrounded by debris. Her skin was pale, almost ghostly, and her height and relative proportions illustrated a youth that had only recently entered adulthood. Her head rolled to the side, looking for someone - anyone - to free her from the rubble, to take her to safety. The pain was unbearable, as though her abdomen was being crushed by the weight of the world itself, and a warm trickle brought her attention to herself.

With great effort Silara managed to position herself so her legs weren't pressed so tightly together, only to realize she was losing quite a large amount of blood, an amount that was directly proportionate to the pains she felt that radiated from her lower abdomen. Her jaw clenched, eyes squeezing, and she grunted loudly, painfully, as another wave of aches shot through her. Something was wrong, but she didn't know what - only that it hurt so much, that she wanted it to stop. Another sharp pain and a shrill scream escaped her lips, her hands moving down to free her waist from the pressure she felt - pressure that felt as though she were trapped under debris. The young woman recalled fighting the Mandalorian Dark Jedi master that had put her down, and the Akure leviathan that had crushed her so easily, but none of it explained the pain.

"Help!"

Help, however, never came.

[member="Aria Vale"]

 

[NightSister]

Arsonist's Lullaby

A nod that was almost serene, and then Aria obediently closed her eyes, evidently untroubled as the world faded out, replaced by a memory reanimated in her mind's eye. Once such a sensation might've been ominous, but reality was such a heavy weight that letting it be taken from her was a pacifying derepression; as she had done almost since her arrival, Aria complied easily. Shaping Aria's trust and comfort levels was truly so simple a task - to a Sith Lord familiar with the workings of the mind and heart, it was mere child's play. But in a way, having someone else control what she could perceive was actually, unbelievably, nice. There remained a part of her that disliked lacking power over even her mind, that was painfully frustrated at how weak its host was, but it was tired. It would need a great deal of rest before Aria could be strong again in any way. While it rested, she would enjoy not having to tolerate her burdens - without trying to resist.

Sensation came back to her, but it was no longer her own: it was pain, blunt and cutting, almost as authentic as if it were her own. It hurt, but it was transfixing at the same time. It wasn't a feeling she could really do justice with words - it was too alien to her, too out of the ordinary - but what she could've put across through words would have told of a sensation that inspired a warped curiosity she wasn't accustomed to. More than that, experiencing a moment when someone so powerful as Silara had been rendered so weak was a strange form of intriguing. With that same captivation, she relived Silara's struggle, totally intrigued as the Sith Lord tried to free herself, as she called for help in vain.

~
​

By the time the memory had dwindled and the fortress returned in its place, Aria was quite visibly affected; though not, thankfully, tearing up, her posture had shifted and her eyes, still somewhat glazed over from the trance-like recall, held unabashed curiosity and something a little bit like sympathy. She'd been shown plenty, enough to change her perceptions of the Sith considerably, but not enough to satiate her intrigue. Strangely, she didn't feel the same unwillingness to pry with Silara as she had with Connor; possibly because he'd been stubbornly secretive about his past for the longest time, or possibly because he hadn't thought to try and poke through her mind to find her weak spots - though she was still yet to become aware of that bit - or possibly due to the simple fact that she was no longer repressed in everything she did.

Yes, that would be it: thanks to her paradigm shift, everything that had been under lock and key for years was flooding out at last, heavy and lightening at the same time. Even the negative emotions - the sadness and anger and hatred that Aria had been trained to pretend didn't exist - even those she now reveled in, wanting to feel bad feelings rather than try and cover them with forced smiles.I t was enough to make her genuinely pleased she'd repressed her emotions for so long, so she could appreciate having them unleashed suddenly and all at once. But right now the bad feelings were secondary: her mind was more occupied with feelings instigated by the present. The comfort, the relief, the curiosity, the wonder.

"How did you survive?"

[member="Darth Vitium"]

 

[Ellie Mors]

Zombie

As she relived that moment, sharing it with another, Silara finally looked back at herself in an almost honest reflection on her past. Her cry for help had nearly turned into a shriek, so shrill that it elicited the exact sensations she'd been going through. Her heart raced, her throat closed, and the air that she pulled in became so sharp, icy, that she stopped altogether. Years had passed - decades even - but she still wasn't strong enough to ignore the pain, or even to understand how to direct it. She'd treated her 'firstborn' like trash because of the stress that day put on her, the stupidity she felt for the ignorance of what was growing inside of her own body. How couldn't she have known? She'd been gifted with the force, trained to locate her foes in the field of battle in stealth by Veles, her senses heightened to assist her stealth that aided her where her former lack of strength failed her - how could she have lived with a child growing and not known about it, and to have gone into a battle that would have never let her escape with both of their lives intact?

Where Aria thought the memory ended, cutting her off from the realization, the horror, the self-loathing and screams of panic, Silara had truly had enough, pulling them out from that recollection. Consciously doing so allowed her to compose herself quickly, though she could feel the pain in her chest from holding her breath in preparation for the screams that almost came. But it wasn't enough for her to have relived just a shred of her greatest failure, and it wasn't enough to have to appear unfazed by it all. The question that followed cut through every layer of her mental fortitude, broke through each and every mask she'd worn throughout the years, and pushed her out into the cold, harsh, reality of what had happened, not just to the child, but to herself.

How did she survive, after all? Her life had changed dramatically from that moment on, moving from an idealistic ambition to be a Sith remembered through history for her accomplishments to a woman that was so conflicted that she resolved to do away with everything and start over as less than who she had been before. Suicide, even, would have been too kind to her, too easy an escape and too light a punishment. She knew what Aria didn't see, what she'd pushed away at the last moment - the sight of the Yuuzhan Vong soldiers, the infantry of the One Sith and as heartless as they ever were efficient, approach her and callously separate her from her stillborn with a certain pleasure that forever put her at odds with their people. She could still remember the shrieks of panic, of rage and horror, as she was put under and pulled away in an emergency transport at the end of the battle of Cinnegar. She persisted in body and mind, but her spirit had long since died, crushed with the love for something she didn't even know she'd had.

"I didn't." She said, leaving it at that, with a shift in her gaze that pulled her focus towards anywhere but Aria's face. It took several moments pause for her to collect herself for a proper explanation, to decide if she'd state the truth or vaguely describe her interpretation of how it changed her. "I lost.. my future.. There is no coming back from that, no hell that burns hotter than the pain of realizing that. Everything that led up to who I am today can be traced back to that singular moment, the kind of pain that stays with you even when you're dead." She explained, slowly, and spoke each word with careful consideration. "I will never be able to go back from that moment, to be who I was before I changed, but I am better because of it - even if it pains me to say it."

"I collapsed into myself, I searched for answers - for meaning - and in the end I only found that familiar darkness that dwells in us all. You realize it is there only when you experience great tribulation, and you come to realize that it isn't something to shove away, to fear or reject."

"If you grow impassioned from the anger and hurt that you have been dealt you will reach even greater heights than anything that diligence and simple training ever could have rewarded you with."

"The darkness inside of you isn't your enemy - take it in your hands and seize the strength that comes with it."

[member="Aria Vale"]

 

[NightSister]

Every word echoed in her head, the meaning resonating artfully as Aria contemplated Silara's answer. Darkness wasn't her enemy; it felt so true, so obviously and indisputably true. Even Jedi had their Darkness - it became easier over time to pretend it didn't exist. Wasn't that the nature of the Jedi? Pretend something didn't exist, because it was simpler than acknowledging it. Block it out until it pretended to go away. And for what? For the sake of honour, for pride? How pointless they seemed now. How meaningless. Silara had carried out her task flawlessly: her trust was sealed and any desire to change her mind and remain as she had been all but extinguished.

Though the vision she'd been pulled into lacked the context Aria would've wanted in order to fully perceive how it had shaped the Sith, it had been no less effective in conveying its message. Growth came from anger, from hurt: not from the unfeeling, dutiful manner required of a Jedi. The galaxy didn't work that way. Aria didn't begin to speak just yet, but she didn't need to. One look at the girl showed she understood. It had always been after her low points, after all, that the high points came; sometimes before as well, but always after. She hurt, and then she recovered, and as she did she improved. The death of her parents had encouraged the push that led to her Knighthood - Connor Harrison's departure had finally brought her away from the Jedi. There were other examples, smaller ones, too. It was just how it worked.

Nonetheless, the almost ignorant simplicity of the Jedi was comforting, in a way. Maybe you never grew from it, but it was so much easier than painful growth. Much more straightforward. Block out your emotions, and you'd feel peace, even if it was artificial and only lasted so long. Be peaceful, and you were a Jedi, even if you'd never be as powerful as you would be elsewhere. Be a Jedi, and you could protect the galazy, even though such attempts resulted in still more death and injury. It was a broken code, but it pretended to work. And there was a structure. A perfectly clear plan laid out through which peace was allegedly achieved. Without that, everything was harder. It couldn't make her want it back, but it could make her worry. Not much, but a little.

"Is it as easy as that?" Ah, and the question came. Not an unreasonable one by any means, nothing to say she was changing her mind..but it was a question. "How do I seize it? I've spent my life being taught to fight it."

The look on her face wasn't accusatory; Aria truly wasn't trying to contradict the Sith Lord. She wanted to understand - if it meant she could recover her strength, her humanity, then of course she wanted to seize the Darkness. But like anyone who'd lived their life in the Light, such a feat was both unnerving and, as strange as it sounded, difficult. It was totally reversing what she'd learnt, and she didn't know how to do it.

[member="Darth Vitium"]

 

[Ellie Mors]

At last, after much deliberation, Aria was finally stepping off of the precipice and walking into the abyss. Doubtless many others would see this moment - assuming they would ever know of it - as a Sith Lord manipulating the mind of a troubled young woman for the fun of it. Perhaps there was enjoyment to be found in intervening in another's path, and perhaps Vitium found delight in raising up the young woman while simultaneously pushing her down, but those feelings - however fleeting - were only a byproduct of the intent she had behind this moment. Where Mala was full of potential when she'd met her on Nar Shaddaa and made her a Sith acolyte, Aria was radiating with a gift for feeling what her former apprentice simply could not.

Many Sith, especially those of the current era, thought that emotions must be regimented, that they must be plotted, controlled, from the beginning to end - that fragility in emotional constitution was a weakness that could not be afforded. But Silara knew otherwise, she knew that deep-seated rage could bring someone back from the brink, that a sense of forlorn could wake the dead, and she knew that emotional trauma, confusion, and above all - passion - drove a Sith to heights that mere discipline and training could not. She could not teach someone to feel, and she could not instruct someone how to experience the passions that fed their growth, but she could show them to harness what was already there, and that alone was greater than any other potential one might have.

"Nothing is ever easy, Aria. Pain will always hurt, anger will always push you to the brink of control, and hate will consume you."

"It is understanding that you must fight with those feelings, rather than run from them, that you will find your center, and then - once you have learned to work with your emotions - you will grow greater than you ever could have dreamed."

It was an idealist's explanation, not entirely descriptive, but it wasn't all she had for the young woman. "I will make you something, a amulet, that will help guide you on the right path." Vitium explained. She knelt at the foot of the throne, perhaps the final time that she'd assume such posture, and reached for Aria's hand to take it in hers. "There are.. other.. ways to grow closer to the dark side, to grasp onto emotions that are even more powerful than hatred, but I would like to pursue that adventure with you only once you are ready." She said, glancing down for a moment and paused before continuing. "Until that point..." Vitium started, stopping only to gather her thoughts, eyes closing with a furrowed brow as though in disagreement with herself on how to proceed. "Think of me, when you're feeling small, and know that you can always rely on me to lift you back up again."

[member="Aria Vale"]

 

[NightSister]

In a simple world, that would've been all it took to put her mind at ease. The reassurance that she wouldn't be alone, that she'd have an anchorpoint in sorting her path - it would've been enough to make her nod, insist that she was ready to chase her darkness fully - but it wasn't, not quite. As ever, uncertainty held her back; every possibility she'd been determined not to consider had opened up, everything she'd repressed was out in the open and Aria hadn't the first clue where to begin. From here she could go anywhere, do anything, be anyone. There were more options suddenly available than Aria knew what to do with - and that was before the question of her alignment in the Force.

It was much too hard to get a clear idea of what she wanted. Not unsurprisingly, her intuition was annoyingly useless - but she wanted to be ready, in one way or another. Ready to pursue an adventure, ready to be someone totally different: ready, for once, instead of helpless and unprepared. But still, she wasn't sure what. Perhaps Silara's amulet, whatever it was and however it worked, would serve such a purpose, but Aria had only a very vague idea of how such items worked. She had every faith that it was in the Sith's power to create something along those lines, of course, but the concept was too ambiguous to mitigate Aria's doubts.

"The amulet...how would it work?"

She spoke less timidly than usual, as curious as she was cautious to understand Silara's offered plan. Despite being certain that it would achieve its purpose, and despite being perhaps a little too certain that the purpose would be wholly for Aria's own benefit, she wasn't so withheld as to not enquire at least a little. After all, trust or no trust, Aria was as inquisitive as any would be - more so on some occasions, even.

Her caution wasn't all that great, either. It was clear to behold that whatever Aria's doubts, her conviction against her old path was concrete. The rest was yet to be determined...but she'd get there.

"It can - you can - help me figure it out?"

[member="Darth Vitium"]

 

[Ellie Mors]

It was what Silara had been waiting for, really and truly it was - for Aria Vale to stop declaring her separation from the Jedi Order and to just ask her for the help that she knew she came for. She'd danced around the subject in order to coax the former Jedi into asking her for assistance, even dangling the offer of an amulet that would help her natural ease into the dark side without having to completely retrain her. Of course she'd neglected to inform her on the finer details of what she had in mind for the bracelet, much less how it would help her - or how she could consciously draw on the dark side herself. As much as she was a proponent for the freedom of knowledge, Silara still understood that it was best to only give information as one progressed and grew - only she wouldn't hold arbitrary rules over Aria's head like the Silvers would have. "The amulet, a bracelet I suppose, will passively intensify the emotions you feel." She explained, thinking of how best to put it in a more positive light than to essentially say it'd make it more difficult for Aria to control herself.

"As a Jedi you were trained, and trained rather well, to push down the feelings that would lead you to the dark side - to push down many feelings in general that weren't explicitly associated with the light side of the force." The Sith said, making a dismissive gesture, perhaps in disagreement that there was such a thing as "light sided" feelings. "The amulet will undo that training, unraveling your control over them and intensify the feelings they cause. Your anger will become white-hot, your hatred tenfold, and you will slowly find that every emotion has been heightened - emotions that you will draw on in order to utilize the dark side of the force." She said. There was a moments pause, Silara thinking of a way to best describe how using one's own emotions worked, knowing full well that it was completely different from what Aria would have learned as a Jedi. "I trust you've been given a motivational speech before? Maybe someone encouraged you, told you that you were doing good - something that made you feel confident in your abilities, something that made it easier to perform your tasks, that heightened your connection with the force because your morale was high."

"Think of this like that, only you aren't being motivated by unity and teamwork, friendship and camaraderie. Your anger, white-hot, will drive you to lash out - your hatred, nearly blinding, will push you to strive for greater heights, if only to rid yourself of the subject of your loathing. The darker emotions will push you beyond your comfort zone, force you to adapt both to greater power and to your own emotional faults." She explained, then glanced up and seemed to come up with an idea. "Your grief, your confused anger, caused by Harrison pushed you to come to me for guidance, motivated you into realizing that this is the better way - the right way. Much in the same way that you were driven by those emotions so, too, will you be empowered by the dark side as you draw on them. Your anger with Harrison might have pushed you into not holding back if you'd fought, perhaps even pushed you to doing what it took to driving him into the dirt."

"It will take me some time to craft the amulet, and it will help you towards drawing on those emotions, so it would be best if you came back at a later point to retrieve it."

"Perhaps take a look around the keep, train in the snow." Silara suggested, rising to stand, likely preparing to go craft the actual bracelet. "The best advice I can give you is to stop caring about what other people think - do what you want, how you want, and when you want. Put yourself above everyone else, you'll grow faster that way."

[member="Aria Vale"]