The Curious Case of Connor & Coci

[Connor Harrison]

Reflection Chambers
Temple of the Silver Jedi Order, Voss ​

Connor stood in the softly illuminated orange and red reflection chamber, in the heart of the Temple. Circular and quite large in size, the room was surrounded by low wooden benches and plump cushions were the Silver Jedi could sit to reflect, talk and converse on anything. No restraints.

The rock wall at the far end allowed water from the gardens to trickle through into small pool in the centre of the room, the main source of “reflection” from the rippling water. A dozen small candles flicked around the pool and cast a warm glow around the room, smelling of nature and rich fruit, enough to relax those inside.

Connor linked his hands behind his back and watched the water fall softly, a nice change to the booming waterfall outside.

He had been summoned to the chambers moments ago – who this time? Nima? He hoped not – he didn’t have time to her lusting and blind devotion, not yet. Iella? No – he had had his time with her and she wouldn’t want to meet down her, would she? Thurion? He wasn’t in the mood for a lecture – Thurion was unstable enough as it was and he didn’t even see it. If anyone would lecture, it would be Connor.

All he could do was wait.


[member="Coci Sinopi"]

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

[member="Connor Harrison"]


Time stood still that night on the moon and now Time had past, and so they would meet once more. She had felt the pull of the Taung, it had frightened her made her run, and hide in the deep recesses of her mind. This was not the first time of course, most of her life she had spent in 'hiding' in one form or another, until recently. The day she met [member="Thurion Heavenshield"] was the day of her release, of her freedom.

Connor Harrison is special to her, he is her brother and fellow Shadow and they more then anything other will stick together. They face the darkness every moment of their lives, not only to combat it, to rid the galaxy of such evils, but within themselves. They are creature that fly close to the flame. They have to in order to understand it, in order to kill it.

Coci walked to the Reflection Chambers, dressed in cream save for her boots of black that clicked along the marble flooring. She wanted to see him, regardless of the awkwardness they might feel, she wanted to know if her brother was doing alright.

He is there, she can sense his presence .. strong and powerful within the force, and she wondered if he knew, just how powerful he actually is. As she entered the Chambers her eyes watched him as he stood there, physically he looks fine, no different from what she knows of him. But something is wrong, she knows him well enough to sense it, the fight is not over yet it seems.

"Connor?", she said softly. "It is good to see you, my brother".

 

[Connor Harrison]

As soon as the parting doors opened, Connor felt a wave of confusion and – fear? – enter the room, seconds before a familiar voice spoke.

Coci.

He went cold, and as soon as she spoke it came. His eyes blurred up, and two tears fell down his face.

No! Not now…

Biting his bottom lip and closing his eyes tight to stem the tears, he kept his stance solid and nodded gently. Words were not often something Connor failed to use, but here it was different.

There was no council before them and no isolation. The last time Connor saw Coci, she had been in what looked like a self-imposed coma in the arms of Master Heavenshield across from his prison. Prison – he, a Silver Jedi, locked up because he had caused his sister and fellow Shadow to face death and nearly lose her battle with the Taung.

Of all the Silver Jedi, Coci was the one he trusted the most. He had fought alongside her briefly and talked to her in passing in their secret Shadow chambers, but he had known her for over a year at least – maybe more. Who was counting? She wasn’t just a Jedi to him, she was a sister bound by their connection with the Force, not just ranks in an Order. And he had nearly killed her.

”And you - ” he exhaled softly, ” – Master Sinopi.”

He turned to face her and lowered his head softly, unable to take in her pretty, fragile frame without hating himself.

”Forgive me. I ask nothing more.”


[member="Coci Sinopi"]

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"Forgive you for what? Connor". She walked slowly around the Reflection Chamber her eyes casting down into the trickling waters. Coci's black eyes flashed up toward him then away. She sat now in one of the alcoves furnished with a long cushion for comfort. She regarded him as he stood there almost in supplication which she hated to see of him.

"For not knowing what secrets the Hammers held, for being possessed? This was no fault of yours". Her voice more firmer now, this was not a time for him to be wallowing in self pity, it was a time for him to take stock and strengthen his resolve and learn from it. "Darkness comes in all facets all forms and now you have tasted it. The Taung was strong, we both know this, and you had this spirit inside you longer then I, but I also know that there is far more stronger evil out there then the spirits of the Hammers".

 

[Connor Harrison]

He bit his lip softly, chewing over his thoughts as she spoke. Shaking his head slightly, he sighed.

"No...no, it's not that. Trust me, I know there is worse out there but...it's what the others say. How weak I was - am. Master Kawakami really hit home with her words. I need to talk to her about that, she was out of line."

Dismissing the thought with his hand, he turned to see Coci looking at him, those dark eyes reading him.

"Master Sinopi...have you ever hurt someone you care about? Intentionally or not? I hurt you, I hurt Master Heavenshield, I hurt Master E'ron - everyone. And what about Padawan Nima Tann? I've broken her beyond repair. The thing is, I think she understands me now more than anyone else."

He blew out his cheeks and looked the pool below them.

"I should feel bad about what I've done, but something inside me doesn't. That's not normal emotion for a Silver Jedi, is it."


[member="Coci Sinopi"]

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

She sat and contemplated his words for a moment, before she stood and walked around to him. Coci positioned herself directly in front of him and did not falter. "We are in the Reflection Chambers Connor, I think we can dispense with the "Master" rank, just call me Coci". She smiled just a little.

"I did not hear the words of Master Kawakami, and I do not know her well enough to comment, that might be something you need to do for yourself more then for her", she said meeting his gaze now.

However, she began to think about his question as to if she had hurt others, everyone has through their lives it is part of being a mortal with feelings of ones own and emotions that sway ones destiny. "Yes", she began. "I have hurt others and at the time I knew I would", she would not go into detail about her family and their disappointment of her leaving to become a Jedi and not remain to take over the family estate and don the crown, and other more personal matters, "But I had to, in order to be true to myself and I hated every moment of it".


"Masters E'ron, Heavenshield and Sinopi are made of far stronger metal then that Connor, we love you, you are family and I will not see you suffer, as for trust in some cases that may need to be rebuilt but not with me, ... come lets sit". She moved over to the nearest alcove encouraging him to join her there.

"Padawan Tann was influenced by the manipulation of the Taung, she was not possessed and so is a loaded gun now, she needs to be watched, she was twisted too easy in my account .. maybe I am too tough of others, but it seemed to me she did not show any real conviction and that worries me. You did not damage her beyond repair she and the Taung did that".

"Can you tell me exactly what you mean by her understanding you now then any other? that is a strange thing to say. How could she possibly? Her road on the Jedi Path is just beginning and she no real understanding of things outside of Voss let alone the dark side or dark elements, if she is telling you this then she is lying, so be mindful of her. You are clear of the Taung now, but her influence is still playing with your mind and setting it to doubt yourself, in that sense she still has control over you. It is this that this evil wants, has played at for ions, the manipulation of the mind to control it outside of it. You are better then this Connor, don't let the Taung win. It might also explain why you feeling nothing of remorse. Even though the fault is not yours to bear, maybe deep down you know this and you have already began to fight it".

 

[Connor Harrison]

With a low incline of his head, Connor accepted her words and rubbed his chin gently as she spoke. He had no knowledge of Coci beyond what he know of her with the Silver Jedi, but it wasn't his place to question and quiz her. Everyone had made choices they may regret, and choices that would hurt others no matter the intention. That was part of life, he understood.

He nodded, following her to the side and sitting down, shifting his greatcoat slightly to get comfortable. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and linked his hands together. Keeping his digits busy would stop him fidgeting; stop him showing uncertainty.

Thank you. Coci. Nice name." A smile formed, but soon went.

"Nima is a wonderful person. Well - I can't say that. I don't KNOW her. I don't even remember her, but she says she knows so much of me. I've told her the Taung was dictating my actions but she is making me feel the Taung only helped enhance my feelings and thoughts."

He looked over to her, taking her in before continuing.

"The anger towards the Masters, my want to succeed...all brought to the surface which Nima sees and I think feeds on; this drive, this lust for greatness, and how I could help bring it out of her as well. Don't get me wrong, I know I can be more than what I was but...this is going to kill me."

The Knight inhaled and exhaled deeply and looked at his hands.

"I've never told anyone this before. I... - he halted, and tried again, " - Connor Harrison isn't my real name. I used it to replace the man I was before I became alienated from the Force on Rhen Var. Connor is a lie; like me."


[member="Coci Sinopi"]

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"I remember her words in the tower Connor, she is confused or allowing herself to be which is more concerning. You know very well what the dark side is capable of even before the possession of the Taung, it gives great strength but requires a very high price for it in return. It is commanding, demanding and will only want for you in your entirety. Even the very best of Masters can be undone by the dark side and yes that takes a lot, so for a Padawan they are more at risk. They don't have the strength or knowledge to combat it. But if she is clever and manipulative then that will give her the edge over you. Be mindful Connor she is not do to you what the Taung did and influencing you through means of guilt you feel toward her .. remember it was not you, but the Taung that did those things to her".

Coci turned to watch him sitting resting on her knees leaning forward. She holds no resentment or ill feelings toward him because she knows, she knows him more since their work together as Shadows and as a valued member of the Silver Jedi. So different he is now and yet she still see that head strong, emotional man she met in the Black Heart for his training. He would know this of course as Creimire was the persona facing him that day.

"Or a rebirth? .. ", she would not ask him his previous name, that would be something he would offer to her willingly. She smiled, "I suppose the Shadows do not do this? have false names in order to be something 'else'", that would be the only mention or hint of the fact she too might have a alter ego.

 

[Connor Harrison]

He chuckled a little, knowing they were both members of the Silver Shadows…but not REALLY knowing just how much he had interacted with Coci in that secret sect of the Order. Connor looked to her and nodded in acknowledgement.

”One day, I’ll tell you my real name. Keep you guessing a little. BUT I don’t remember much about my time with the Jedi Order of the Republic before I became isolated from the Force on Rhen Var. Connor was the survivor of that, who wanted to be something more that day and change the galaxy for the better.”

His eyes darted a little, thinking what he just said.

”Wasn’t…wasn’t that something that all Sith Lords and Destroyers of Worlds say before they find their true calling?”

Bumping into her shoulder with his, he smiled again and tried his best to regain that closeness with Master Sinopi.

”Coci, do you think it’s possible for one to control both light and dark power in the pursuit of good? And by good, I mean, to serve the Silver Jedi in what we set about to do daily and eradicate evil.”


[member="Coci Sinopi"]

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"No, I don't believe you can". She began as she thought about his question. It is a question that is understandable, there would not be a Jedi alive today that did not have those thoughts at some point and it is not one that concerned her that he asked.

"You know well enough what demands the dark side places on you, it will consume you eventually and entirely and I think that there would be to much conflict within you to be able to pull back. There is more to it then that Connor, you can just simply swing from one side to the other and not have any consequences. To use both side of the force you may do to a point, but would that actually be effective? I think it would limit you to progress to full strength. It is interesting that most dark siders consider the light side as weak, but that is because they do not understand it and or have no real knowledge of it. The light side is equally as strong and just as destructive at time if left unchecked as well. A Jedi uses it differently, that is why we constantly train. It is the madness behind the method that sets us apart". she said in return.

She grinned now, thinking of a way to further explain her view. "There are some Masters that can use it to a point, think of what is required to achieve the skill of Vaapad for example, you need to have an element of a want for the kill, without it you can not be effective in the skill. But you must have the control to return to the light, only strong Jedi can do that, that is why that Form is restricted along with Juyo".

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor looked like he had turned off, watching the flickering flames of the candles surrounding the pool; each flame representing a fallen Jedi in the last year of the Order, keeping their spirt alive in the chamber. But he was very much listening, and taking in the Master’s words.

He was disappointed that such a view was taken, and more disappointed he was now tarred with the brush of having failed once that he would not be able to be stronger in future. That was difficult to hear, but nothing less of what he expected. He could still feel the flicker of doubt in her voice, laced with the tone of a Master reprimanding a student.

”I have heard of Vaapad. Now and then, around the Temple. Do you think that it is something I can be taught? You need to understand Ma – Coci – how much I want to be something of value to the Order. I want to better myself, improve my understanding and show everyone that I can be trusted just as much as I was before this Taung incident.”

Connor turned to her.

”Give me the chance, and I will prove to you how I will be in the future. Please.”


[member="Coci Sinopi"]

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"But you already are valued and valuable to the Silver Jedi, Connor don't you realise you now posses knowledge very few have? With what happened in the Tower and with the Taung has now given you to ability to teach others in how to protect themselves from the darkness and evils? All you have to do is believe in yourself and use this knowledge and others will as well, I do. I know you Connor and even in this take away the positive, do not let the Taung bring you down".

She turned to him more, moving her body to shift directly toward him. "Teach Connor", she said with more thought.

"As for Vaapad, well only the council can issue with authority to learn that skill, but I think you are perfect for it. I can't teach you this I have not the skill. I believe Master E'ron and Saki do however". Coci doubted she would ever learn Vaapad, she swings to close to the darkness already and it would be dangerous even for her. One day maybe.

 

[Connor Harrison]

”I said to Grandmaster E’ron earlier that Nima needs time to clear her head and sort herself out, but I think it’s me who needs to do that. I don’t want to fall into some stoop like I did after Rhen Var, because I can’t count on Master Heavenshield to constantly pick me up. One day I need to do that for him. Nearly taking away his love? Not the best way to repay the favour, huh?”

He tried to give a solemn smile, but it was too early to joke about heaving nearly destroyed a couple and that which makes them human. He reached over and took Coci’s hand in both of his, as if he was channelling a personal oath to her via touch.

”Thurion is very lucky to have you, Coci. And I know you feel the same. If there is anything I can ever do for you, both of you, please come to me. I will be there, as a brother to you, not just a fellow Jedi and friend on the battlefield.”

Connor quickly brought up her hand, kissed the back of it and placed it back on her knee, patting it gently as if to brush off his overt emotion. He turned to look at the pool again.

”As I am forbidden to leave the Temple, I may give it time and seek an audience with Iella to see about what it takes to study Vaapad. Whether she agrees or not, well, that’s her choice but I will show I accept her judgement and not sulk in the shadow. And you never know, maybe I can teach YOU one day how to challenge those demons inside you.”

A little glance over said it all.

”I can sense you have them, Coci, and it seems they are eating you up, I don’t know. As a brother, not a Knight, I say this - don’t let them devour you. I won’t let them.”


[member="Coci Sinopi"]

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

As she sat listening to his words, Coci smiled. She was beginning to see the Connor she knew returning. But of course, changed. An event like this could do nothing else. She sensed growth in him, an acquirement of knowledge yet to be understood but in time he will, he will learn from this and strengthen. None of this was his fault as he seems to believe, how could it be, no one knew what dangers were in those blasted hammers.

"Thurion and I will always consider you friend and brother, Connor. And like the Silver Jedi.. family. No matter what we will look after each other, all of us". She smiled at the thought of [member="Thurion Heavenshield"], it was she that was the lucky one. How he had changed her so and one day she will tell him this.

"I have them, everyone does. I fight them every day Connor. Demons of my own making. I know I am unwavering in my view on .. evil or rather of those that are. I can not forgive it Connor, I can't not accept any excuse from people that commit such atrocities on anything. And now I have another, I possess fear. Fear of loosing him, loosing Thurion. I would give my life for him as he is more needed then I, but I don't know what I would do if I lost him". It was she now that turned to gaze into the waters in thought. "I know what I speak of is dangerous".

Coci stretched her back and drew in a deep breath and pushed her back to the wall.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Rubbing his chin gently, he batted his tongue from cheek to cheek inside his mouth, listening and hearing the slight pain her Coci’s voice – always so strong, willing to lead and sacrifice, but at what cost? She wasn’t invincible; she was but blood, flesh and tissue and that was all. A living being.

Joining her gaze into the water, Connor came clean after a moment. This was just them, and he trusted her more than anyone.

”I hit her. Twice. I tried to…” he exhaled, leaning back and scratched the back of his head in a nervous twitch.

He was talking about Nima – two days ago, he had hit her, strangled her and left her on the garden floor, wrestling a dark conscious and an evil streak to shut her up.

”She pushed and pushed…I gave her the chance to go, but she just kept coming and I hit her. And took my hands to her, and left her in a crumpled mess at the foot of the garden wall.”

Connor rubbed his face with his hands, muffling a loud sigh of annoyance.

”I think I need to see Master E’ron, I can’t get away with that. That’s…not me. I wasn’t me, but it was, but I can’t let it stand. I am sure she must know, I’ve not seen Nima since, but I don’t know what’s going to happen. Except whatever DOES happen, I take it on my chest and face the consequences.”

Shaking his head looking at the water, he tried to dismiss it and return to her problem.

”Coci, sorry, this isn’t your problem, it’s mine, but I want to help you with your feelings. I…I sort of understand how you feel about the…about M – Thurion, sorry, first names,” he bumped into her gently, ”but don’t be afraid to lose him.”

He turned to her, lacing his hands together on his knees.

”Look, it may be dangerous, I don’t know – I know emotion is a dangerous opening BUT it can’t be ignored, because if it is, it will make you inhuman. However, let me help you fight the evil and fear. Let me help you as you try to help me, as you are helping me. If you want to open up to anyone, open up to me – I will listen and you will not jeopardise anything by doing so.”

Connor reached and took her hand in his.

”You’re letting a lot out here, subconsciously or not, but I feel a lot of pain, and that’s not like you. I don’t know if you’re defences are coming down, but let me help you anyway I can. I am sure that you and Thurion will be strong for…for ever how long you find solace together. But, forgive me, as I care for you both, but I don’t want to see YOU self-destruct with fear over something you can’t control. You’re better than this, and you KNOW you are both strong enough to make things work out and be happy.”

A gentle shake of her thin, cool hand. The gentle bubble of water from the pool below.

”I will look out for you. I will help you. I will not let anything bad happen to you, now or ever. You saved me. Now let me do the same for you.”


[member="Coci Sinopi"]

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"I know Connor, I know now. This is something Thurion has taught me since.. well, since we fell in love. I don't hide anymore, my emotions anyway.. I thought I had loved before, but that was nothing compared to how I feel for him and that is what frightens me at times, not that I love him, but it is new to me and well, I need to learn to control it .. for both our sakes". But that was part of the battle won, the fact that she recognised the danger and could work on it with Thurion if need be. One thing Coci was absolutely certain of was that [member="Thurion Heavenshield"] would be there to help her always.

She pondered on his words, all of them and did not have the answer for him. His violent attack on Nima would have to answered as no doubt it would be reported, it would be best for him to call Master E'ron firstly. "You are right Connor, I think you need to go to Master E'ron as soon as you can".

Coci turned to face him now and placed her hand on his shoulder. "You problems are all our problems that is what makes family, it is what makes us Jedi", she smiled.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor flicked his finger to the pool, sending a little ripple out from the centre, as if an invisible stone plopped down through the water.

”You don’t hurt your family, Coci, that’s the difference.”

He let the words hang for a moment as he made up his mind.

”I am going to see Master E’ron after we have finished. Take the decision on what lies ahead for me on the chest; do the right thing. It’s the least I can do, and if I don’t do it now…”

A shake of the head spoke more than what his imagination could present.

”As for your and Thurion, please. If I found something as special and solid as that, maybe I wouldn’t be this…someone I don’t even recognise anymore. You will both be fine – you know it, he knows it. And please, you controlled a Taung spirit well enough, so I am sure you will be able to control your own flickers of love, want and desire.”

The smile flickered back on his lips for a second.

”Just enjoy this, and don’t deny yourself the happiness you deserve. Happiness you nearly lost.”

Feeling the emotion welling up inside him, Connor stood up and exhaled softly, turning to face Coci seated in front of him. He cupped his hands behind his back.

”I will come find you after I have seen Master E’ron – tell you what is happening.”

Connor nodded his head to her slightly.

”Master Sinopi you may be, but you’re just loveable old Coci to me.”


[member="Coci Sinopi"]

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

Coci sat in thought, much they had discussed and it was clear to her that Connor still had issues from his past he needed to face, the Taung experience only served to illustrated it, or rather bring them back out for him. It is understandable, and he is confused. She had only felt the evil briefly compared to him, but it was enough to know what that spirit was capable of and what destruction it had on him, mentally. He was going to need all his resolve and all his friends around him to pull through, she however, had no doubt he would and become a much stronger person let alone a stronger Jedi.

"Quit with the old bit thank you", she said joking.

"I agree you need to see the Grand Master, from what you say you will need to face this and alone in this case. But know if you need me I will be here for you".

She stood up and readied her self to leave. Coci moved in front of his and leaned down to place a gentle kiss on his cheek. "You are not lost, and you are not alone". She stood and began to walk from the chamber.

"Don't sit for too long in this room, go and see who you must. bye for now my brother".

 

[Connor Harrison]

Coci’s words resonated around the room as she left, and soon Connor was left alone, looking down at the flicking candles below him. The flames represented fallen Silver Jedi and helped remind those seeking comfort that their spirit will still burn brightly; still warm and illuminate the Order out of physical body.

But this wasn’t a spiritual matter for Connor – he was here, alive and well and about to face up to his crimes against those closest to him.

A thought echoed in his mind, a phrase he had never forgotten from studies about the Force and the Jedi themselves. Losing himself in the flickering flames, he spoke softly and quietly.

”Only the penitent man will pass through, clear of sin, to be one with the Force.”

It was time for Connor to become the penitent man. Grandmaster E’ron would be waiting.


[member="Coci Sinopi"]