Private The Last Favor

[Noelle Varanin]

Noelle ran her fingers over the table. The meeting room was stark and harshly lit. She had pulled strings to get here, though she didn't even know where here was. If she had to guess it was some untagged space station in some region or another-- she frankly didn't care. She had agreed to the jedi's terms and came blindly. They were being careful. With their prisoner, and with her. She glanced once at her force dampening cuffs and forced herself to ignore the discomfort they caused.

"Thank you for this," she told Romi Jade , moments before the woman would step out and another was led in.

Noelle's chest rose and fell deeply, impassive as she studied her mother.

"So it's true."

Ashin Cardé Varanin

 

[Ashin Cardé Varanin]

Ashin wore identical cuffs. She could probably have slipped them by dislocating her thumb — this Mesinis'kaita body was flexible and prone to dislocations — but short of such drastic action, the cuffs held firm. More to the point, they walled her off from the Force comprehensively.

"Did you doubt it?" she said. "I'm told the Jedi issued an extensive announcement when they captured me. They'll contemplate killing compliant prisoners — but tell lies? Never."

She offered her daughter, Queen of Eshan, a dry little smile.

"It's been intensely interesting. You should try it sometime."

 

[Noelle Varanin]

Noelle frowned.

"This is not a game. They are serious about this." She leaned forward, trying to warn some sense into Ashin's laxidasical words. "They aren't an organization or a government. Sanctions won't work on them-- not that anyone cares that this is an illegal judicial process. Most worlds are keeping a wide berth on matters with the force. You are alone out here.

"They intend to make a statement out of you."

Ashin Cardé Varanin

 

[Ashin Cardé Varanin]

"Yes, you're right about all of the above."

Not for the first time, she wondered whether the room held microphones or cameras. Probably.

"But consider this. There is no monolithic 'they.' A couple of them are out to kill me, certainly. Others don't have the stomach to sign on to executing me in cold blood.

"The first part of the trial was remarkable. They disagree fundamentally about so, so many things. What I'm on trial for. Why a trial at all. How I should be treated. How I should be punished, and whether punishment is the goal. Whether Jedi principles should apply. There's a possibility they might never find a way forward that they'll all agree on.

"This could go very bad indeed, it's true. But I'm learning more about the Masters of the Jedi at an individual level than any Sith Lord ever has. It's absolutely fascinating."

 

[Noelle Varanin]

"Will that be yellow flowers on your grave then, or blue?" She dug back, unable to stop herself. "No-- really--" she'd interrupt, before Ashin could have any chance to speak and form a deflection. "We know Mom likes her gardening-- We wouldn't want to deprive her of a place for a headstone-- yellow, or blue?"

Frustration spat from her nose in a puff of air. The question ripped out of her in a fervor, refusing to let up until it had its answer. Maybe she just wanted to see Ashin face something she didn't want to, if even for a moment.

Ashin Cardé Varanin

 

[Ashin Cardé Varanin]

"Everyone dies in due course, Noelle. Palpatine himself lasted a century. Vitiate, a few hundred years at most. Even the Netherworld is just a transitory state. In a literal sense, we all dissolve into the Cosmic Force, the fabric of the universe.

"But I have the training and experience to retain my identity after death in a way that no Sith ever has. Not as a ghost in a tomb or a deadly corner of the Netherworld, or trapped in some temple or cage of light or shredded by lightsabers. As a distinct part of the Cosmic. I will always be with your mother — irrevocably.

"That said, I still fully intend to survive this. I might even get out of it without compromising my principles."

 

[Noelle Varanin]

I will always be with your mother — irrevocably.
your mother

your mother​

The air left Noelle like a balloon a week after life day. She slumped back, her usual posture dragged down by an unnamable emotion. She would never get her needs met by Ashin and she knew that, so why was she doing this again? She had sworn she wasn't going to do this again.

It was amazing just how fast a child could resume old dynamics with a parent, even if they were an adult now-- Even if they wanted better.

She pulled her hands back and tucked them neatly into her lap, her spine straightening as she went.

"Well... I will not be helping you." The final word caught in her mouth. She almost wondered if it was wrong-- if the delayed guilt she felt meant-- No. She looked up, blue eyes as cold as ice.

"I will not be jeopardizing Eshan for you."

 

[Ashin Cardé Varanin]

"Nor would I ask you to." Ashin nodded firmly. "Nor would I ask you to. A world relies on you. In a very real sense, you are Eshan more than you're a person with a person's desires, and that's as it should be. You've finally found the one thing that matters to you most, what you'd sacrifice anything to protect."

They'd discussed that Sith principle before, and Ashin's belief that the principle transcended the Sith.

"I'm proud of you for that. You've grown."

 

[Noelle Varanin]

Noelle blinked and looked away, weighed down by the realization of just who she had gotten her work ethic from.

I am not a person, I am a queen. What we want does do not matter here. How many times had she used that exact reason to justify why she pushed August Oreno to the side? Was she treating him like Ashin would? She caught herself picking at her nail bed and forced her fingers to lay flat on her thigh.

"Yes, well. If you get out, you'll tell your brat of a girl to stay well clear of me-- and the planet for that matter. Publicly, we can have no affiliation with you. ...I had to pull several strings to get myself here. No doubt one day they'll pull back," she snuffed, miffed by the debt she now owed to jedi.

 

[Ashin Cardé Varanin]

"Don't forget: a favor owed means you have a connection, you have value to Romi Jade and whoever else you worked with. It's a step along a path of mutual respect. Contacts like that are foundational. Cultivate them even if you wind up owing a favor or two, and don't be too hasty to clear your debts.

"But what do you mean, exactly, when you say my 'brat of a girl' should keep her distance? Has my student been to visit?"

 

[Noelle Varanin]

"The one you brought into our home," she confirmed, her lips tightening in subtle distaste.

Back then Ashin would return home to find Avalore trapped in the strangest, sometimes cruelest circumstances. Avalore could have walked away at the start, but she never did and Noelle had never ceased to use the girl as an outlet for her jealousy.

But they had all grown past that now, hadn't they?

"She claims to have amassed..." Noelle paused and glanced once towards the door. "A following. -- She's as confident as you, with none of the skill," she deflected. "She will get herself killed."

Ashin Cardé Varanin

 

[Ashin Cardé Varanin]

"Very possibly. Avalore has her flaws..."

Ashin grinned with genuine amusement.

"...but a sense of proportion isn't one of them. She's a Sith marauder packed into a body ten sizes too small. I doubt she could go up against any of my captors, but she'd try it anyway. Tenacious little thing.

"If you happen to see her and her...following, do let them know I'm in control and will see them in due course."

 

[Noelle Varanin]

Noelle doubted she would but nodded anyway. She found it was easier to move her anger with Ashin to the side now. Maybe she couldn't exactly release it, but she could accept it.

Accept her.

Or so she told herself. Wanting one thing and making your mind do it were two totally different things for Noelle, but she had read in a little poem at court that it took ten-thousand hours of practice to master a skill.

She placed her hands back on the table and leaned forward. "Are they treating you well?" Her gaze skimmed Ashin. "Nothing untoward?"

 

[Ashin Cardé Varanin]

"Nothing unusual." Ashin chuckled. "I stood trial loaded down with chains and all manner of Force-suppression gear, and didn't get a chair. That's about the extent of the physical mistreatment. Woe is me."

Her face went tight.

"But then again, they've freely admitted that this is an extrajudicial action: no law, no rights, no charges, no rules, nothing but whatever the posse can manage to agree on. What I'd like you to do, Noelle...is take a look and do as you will." She mirrored Noelle, leaned forward, and clasped her daughter's hands across the table.

And, in a moment of significant pain, twisted her wrists just so.

This body offered unusual flexibility and ease of dislocation, among other capabilities that she'd largely kept secret from the Jedi. She slipped out of the cuffs, keeping the motion small and un-dramatic, and clasped Noelle's hands again. The complete memory of her capture, her conversations with various captors, and her trial so far — a few hours in total, plus a general sense of the long silence — poured into Noelle's head in a heartbeat.

Ashin slipped back into the cuffs and popped her thumbs back into place, hoping Romi Jade had noticed nothing via the Force or on hypothetical cameras.

"Sorry about that. Too much to share, too little time, and too many listening ears."

 

[Noelle Varanin]

Noelle sat shell-shocked, her breath caught hanging on her lips.

"I see," she managed to say, though even Spencer's daughter would need time to ingest all of that. A shiver wracked her body and she pulled away, wrapping her arms around herself in an attempt to banish the hallow stillness that echoed through her.

Had her mother stayed conscious during cyrostasis?

She cleared her throat and regathered some semblance of dignity. "I've already told you I won't be getting involved. ...I'll see about getting you legal help though." she folded, glancing up for those possible cameras. "I believe I know someone who would take up your case." Despite her resolve, Noelle couldn't leave her mother entirely to it. She would pass on the intel back to the girl, the one her mother totted around like a pet.

"That is all I can do."

 

[Ashin Cardé Varanin]

"That would be plenty," said Ashin. "And one other thing that shouldn't be an inconvenience or put you at risk. I'd like there to be a record of what I just shared with you. That's my only request. Write it down or use thought-recording technology of some kind, and keep it safe in case this goes wrong. Will you do that?"

Noelle Varanin

 

[Avalore]

ope

 

[Noelle Varanin]

Noelle inclined her chin. She had already intended to preserve the information before she passed it onto the girl but she didn't let it on. She rather liked letting Ashin think she was asking more of her, even if this might be the last time they crossed paths... Noelle had drawn her line in the sand-- dead or alive, she didn't expect Ashin to try and cross for some time. Possibility never.

Staying clear of trouble was a lot to ask of the woman, even if... Noelle pressed her hand into her stomach, silent.

"... I should go. My cover won't last long." Her chair scrapped back as she stood, final words weighing heavy on her tongue.

 

[Ashin Cardé Varanin]

"Yes, you should."

Ashin stood too, massaging her sore hands.

"If this situation escalates, we might not speak again. And if that's the case, it's fitting that I tell you this.

"I'm fully aware that my treatment of you over the years crossed the line into neglect and emotional abuse. I regret not investing time in you earlier, developing a strong connection with you and your sisters.

"I'm telling you this not to beg for absolution or reconciliation, but because I'm conscious of a major failure, a serious mistake. I've survived by cultivating relationships of trust and mutual benefit. I develop emotional connections not just rarely but accidentally — I have very few friends. Even my early affection for your mother was an accident.

"I keep my distance, keep walls up. I've been that way for fifty years, for reasons I can't shake and won't explain — I'm not in the habit of excuses.

"But I do want you to understand this. I respect and like who you've become. You're strong, you're smart, and you hate to the right extent and for the right reasons."

 

[Noelle Varanin]

Noelle found it hard to breathe. She had prodded Ashin to show levity, now she didn't want it. It made it hard to feel her knees. She clutched at the edge of her chair and tried, pointlessly, to keep her emotions from surfacing.

This should have been told to her before. She didn't want to accept it now, she didn't want the situation to be this. She wanted her ten-thousand hours back.

"So survive," she demanded, surging forward. The chair crashed into the table at the fierce motion but she didn't falter. "Apologize, repent, do whatever you have to do-- just live. Not for mom," the word was acid. "Or even me," and that one was pain.

Her fingers shook as they pressed back to her stomach, towards the speck of life she had been unable to acknowledge until now.

"History doesn't have to repeat itself, does it?" She implored, terror pouring out of her gaze.

She was pregnant.
Ashin Cardé Varanin