Private The Misery Device

[Ishani Dinn]

No matter what she was doing, every time Rhi entered the workshop, she found her gaze drawn toward it. She wasn't sure what it was or where it had come from—it looked nothing like the other items which littered the shelves of the Hourglass. Made out of copper or some similar metal, it was shaped like an eye. It was too big to be a human eye, and the shape reminded her of a dragon or other lizardlike creature. All around the edges were what looked to be either tentacles or vines grasping toward the eye at the center.

At some point she tried to catch a glimpse of it with the Force. It was definitely alchemized, though the aura she sensed emanating from the thing was strange. She couldn't quite work up the courage to touch it or otherwise fiddle with the thing, so finally she decided to ask Arcturus about it.

"That device on the shelf over there—" She pointed toward it with her finger. "What is it?" And what's it for?

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

Enough moons ago that they'd since had another child, Arcturus stood toiling as he usually did within his workshop. Rhiannon had remained with him for a few days now, while he worked toward finishing off important orders he'd promised to denizens of the Netherworld. The types of folk you didn't want to accidentally offend or end up in hot waters with. The last pegs in the board which kept him from returning to Realspace with her. His Rhiannon. His Fiancée. Chaos, how good it felt to say that even if only in his own thoughts.​

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He could feel her fluttering around the workshop, as he bent wire into shape around a ring gauge, and softly hammered the wound strands of metal flat. It formed a really cool pattern, like leaves spreading out from the core, or a two strand braid.​

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Then her question came, and he turned his head to look at where it was she was pointing.​

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"Oh..."​

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Arcturus frowned an almost guilty frown, then tried to focus back on his work. He was only half paying attention though, so while he tried to look busy he wasn't actively doing anything to the ring itself lest he ruin it.​

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"That, erm... It's just, uh... Some silly device I've been working on..."​

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Reaching up a hand he awkwardly rubbed at the back of his neck. He knew already she'd want more information than that.​

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"It... It shows you memories, and uh, you can try to see what would have happened if you.. if you made other choices, I guess." He curled the fingers of his left hand up into his palm, nails digging in softly as his heart leapt. "Visions of a Parallel World" he said, in his most enthusiastic tone possible, like he was announcing something great. "It's just a Misery Device in truth. Forget about it, love."​

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Ishani Dinn ​

 

[Ishani Dinn]

At first she thought he was merely being shy. But as Arc explained the device's purpose, her expression grew drawn. A Misery Device, he called it. Something that showed you how things could've been different, had better (or worse) choices been made.

"Oh," she whispered. "Have you… used it before?"

She couldn't deny that there was a certain temptation to peek into alternate universes, other lifetimes. Surely he felt a similar draw. The question was, had he given into the impulse? And if so, what had he seen?

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

Arcturus set down his tools and hung his head.​

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"I have" he confessed, "More times than I care to admit."​

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How many days had he spent cradling that device? Conjuring up images of the perfect life with Rhiannon and the kids, where he hadn't been such a coward. Or further back, if he'd never been separated from his parents the day the One Sith came to Ession. Or if he'd never left Coruscant, and Starlin, or... or... or...​

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His breath hitched, catching in his throat. He'd become lost in those thoughts for a moment, and it was hard to force himself back to reality. He blinked, staring at the ring in a dissociative manner, before fully turning to face her.​

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"I've lost weeks of my life to that thing" Arcturus stated, "I thought about destroying it, in truth, but... I couldn't bring myself to."​

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Ishani Dinn ​

 

[Ishani Dinn]

Rhi’s heart sank. Sorrow and regret had driven him to create the device, and from the sound of it, the misery it generated had nearly proven his undoing.

As he turned to face her, she threw her arms around his waist. "Oh, Arcturus," she murmured against his chest. "I want so badly to make you happy. To give you a taste of the good life. Everything you ever wanted will be yours, and so much more. I promise, I promise..."

As for Visions of a Parallel World, it would become little more than a curiosity he had once crafted. Nothing to be afraid of.

“Why not?” she asked, her voice almost a whisper. “Why didn’t you destroy it?” In fact, why didn't they destroy it now?

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

Her arms were around his waist before he could even fully comprehend what was happening, and naturally he entwined his around her much slighter frame. She was speaking lamentations, making promises, and in the wake of it he felt himself shudder. One hand reached down, and he gently caught her chin beneath his fingertips and lifted her head to look upon him. To have their eyes meet.​

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"You do make me happy, Rhi" he assured her, "And I promise I'm done running, done hiding. I'm ready to step up, for you, for the kids, I'll make the right choices, I swear it."​

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As for why he hadn't destroyed it, that was a little more... complicated. He frowned, and hid his face within her golden curls.​

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"Because it was the only way I could see you, see the kids, have a normal happy life. And... Because it gave me altered memories of home, of Ession. My mother... I can almost see her face when I use this thing." His shoulders slumped. "It is painful, but it's all I had. It's... it's like a drug, Rhiannon. You know how that mermaid skin felt? How it left you longing for more, for the sea? It's... It's like that, only longing for something you can never have."​

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A glutton for punishment, Arcturus was using it to remind himself of all he'd messed up, remind himself of all the times he'd taken a wrong turn.​

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"It's not always so bad" he whispered, slipping a hand down to entwine his fingers with hers, "Sometimes it shows you where you made the right decision... Like.. Like helping you, back on Lao-Mon. You saved me, Rhiannon, whether you realize it or not. My life... it wasn't worth living without you in it, even then."​

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Ishani Dinn ​

 

[Ishani Dinn]

Rhi looked up at him. The corners of her mouth twitched upward into a sweet smile. “I’m so glad,” she said, holding him tight.

It was the old wounds that made him keep the Misery Device. Longing for a past that had been stolen from him, a future he had run from. “Yes,” she murmured. Like the Skin. She understood that. “Do you… still feel the Call of the Sea?”

She still did, sometimes. Even with her wings to drag her down beneath the waves.

It was tempting to ask him what exactly he had seen in that alternate timeline, but she didn’t ask. “I’d be far worse off without you, I know it,” she murmured. Pulling him down to her level, she kissed his brow. “I don’t need any Device to tell me that.” She pressed her lips to his temple, then his stubbled cheek. “All that matters is that we’re together…”

With a hot gasp she captured his mouth, kissing him deeply. Flushed and breathless, she pulled away suddenly, backing up to the shelf. “Let’s destroy it,” she said with a determined look, her fingers closing around the Device.

Not realizing that touching it would trigger the Visions…

Arcturus Dinn

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

Did he still feel it?​

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"No" he said softly, "I haven't used it since. The waters here... they're not so swimmable." And he hadn't been anywhere worth swimming in realspace without her at any rate. He could tell from the way she spoke that she did, however. Even if it was a rarity. ​

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Soon enough he felt himself engulfed by her presence. Her touch, tender kisses on his skin, then her lips were on his. He parted his own lips, deepening the kiss, hand drifting over the front of her dress, only to have her gasp as she pulled back. She was backing up then, toward the shelf, and he couldn't quite read her intentions.​

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Not until it was too late.​

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"No, Rhi, don't..."​

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But it was too late. Whatever thought was on her mind, whatever memory had been most pressing, she suddenly found herself transported into. Not physically, her body remained before him, but her eyes were glassy and she stood almost like a statue before him. Was this how he looked, when he'd spent hours lost within it? Dead to the world...​

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"Damnit, Rhi" he softly whined, "Come on, reject it... You're stronger than it is, Rhiannon..."​

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Ishani Dinn ​

 

[Ishani Dinn]

She was in the Oasis at the Academy on Korriban, sitting in the swing made of vines they had made. It swayed gently as she laid her head against Arc’s shoulder, eyes red and puffy from crying.

They had to make a decision. Korriban was about to be attacked. Maliphant wanted Arc to come with him, of course, and Ishani was being pulled in another direction by Brunas. The Sith were fracturing, the tenuous power they had seized crumbling.

Life from the ashes.

“It’s twins, I think,” she murmured. “Feels like two.” Her fingers entwined with his. “I don’t know what to do. But whatever happens, it’s now or never.”

In the present, Rhiannon remained entranced. Curiosity held her. She wanted to see what would happen, needed to see this…

Arcturus Dinn

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

She didn't come back. Not even when he called her name, not when he gently shook her shoulder. She was entranced...​

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So he did something he probably shouldn't have done; he reached out and touched the device too, his free hand taking hold of Rhiannon's wrist. Everything seemed to swim for a moment, like a wavy flashback scene in some holoflick, and then he was suddenly in the little Oasis he'd created. He could feel the dry air, the chill of the desert breeze drifting through the cracks in the walls, the seat of the swing beneath him. The scent of flowers, growing despite the arid nature of the landscape, filled his nose, but more than that strawberries.​

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His hand was in hers, the other wrapped around her shoulder. Her head was on his, and he turned slightly to kiss her curls.​

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"Twins..." Arcturus could hardly believe what he was hearing. "You really think..?" His eyes were already welling up, of course. "Chaos, Ishani... How... What... What do we do?" Where did they go?​

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Twins...​

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He slipped his hand from hers briefly, to drift it over her stomach. ​

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"We could... we could leave?" he whispered, "Everything's crumbling anyway. I... I know someone, on Coruscant, I'm sure he'd let us stay for a while." Still dumbfounded, he just stared down at her stomach. "Twins..." He couldn't wrap his head around it. "You mean... I.. We're going to have a family? A real family?"​

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That was something he'd never thought possible.​

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Ishani Dinn ​

 

[Ishani Dinn]

"We could... we could leave?"

She exhaled the breath she’d been holding. It was what she’d been hoping he’d say. “You mean Starlin?” she asked, smiling a little. She knew Starlin. He’d brought her to see him when they visited Coruscant.

“Will Maliphant let you go this time?” she whispered. “He doesn’t know about Coruscant, does he?” If so, they could go somewhere more remote, harder to find. “I don’t mind where we go. We could become moisture farmers, for all I care. Just as long as you're with me…”

She laid her hands over his upon her stomach, going a little pink herself at the thought of having a family. “That is what it’s all for, technically speaking,” she said. “We’re pretty young. But… it’ll all work out in the end. I’m sure…”

She could feel the memory speeding up, skipping ahead, bidding her see the hidden life they would have. A reality where she and Arc were never apart; where he was there for the twins from the moment they were born…

With a choked noise, Rhi let go of the Misery Device. Seeing Arc, she grabbed his hands and pried his fingers from it until she heard the heavy copper fall to the floor with a clatter. “It’s too much!” she cried, trembling.

How much time had passed? She didn’t know. “I see what you meant. It’s like a drug…”

Arcturus Dinn

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

"I don't care what Maliphant wants" he said, voice whispered for there were eyes and ears everywhere in a place like this, "I'll beg him, I'll plead, I'll do whatever it takes, you, me, the babies... That's all I want, Ishy."​

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Did Maliphant know about Arcturus' little hideaway back on Coruscant? No, he didn't think so. But Maliphant did have direct ties to Coruscant, didn't he? "We could go there for a little while, 'til the dust settles, then go to, I don't know... Lao-Mon?" That seemed fitting. Cyclical.​

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The vision began to drift forward the way he always dreaded. His heart sank, and a pit formed in his stomach. Life flashed before their eyes, or at least his eyes for he was still clutching the device. The birth of the twins, their first steps, birthdays----​

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He gasped as his hands were finally freed of the device, shuddering once it had clattered to the ground. Silent tears were streaking down his cheeks, and when he saw Rhiannon stood there he hastily grabbed her and held her close. Tight.​

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"Shh" he soothed, even as more of his own tears fell, "Shh... It's horrid, I know it is. It never shows you the same possibility twice, either. I... I tried. Tried to live in it. It's cruel like that."​

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Cruel, and made by his own hands. To torment his own mind and soul. His punishment, though he knew he still had so much more to repent for even with all the misery it had brought him.​

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Ishani Dinn ​

 

[Ishani Dinn]

Rhi couldn’t cry. She was numb. It was as if she were in shock, overwhelmed by what the Misery Device had shown her. Her mind and body wouldn’t let her feel anything. If it did, the weight of what could’ve been would break her.

But she could comfort Arcturus. She held him tightly, stroking his hair and pressing her lips to his tear-stained cheeks. “We make our own fate,” she whispered, finding strength in the words as she said them. “From here on out, the future is ours to decide. No more wallowing in regrets.”

With the Force, she grasped the Misery Device and flung it into the bubbling molten metal of the forge. She wouldn’t let Arcturus argue with her on this. The Device had to be destroyed, for both their sakes.

“Soon, very soon, we’ll have the twins back. We’ll have other children, too. And we’ll all be together.” She kissed him, as much from desire as to soothe. “Let the future take root in the present, Arcturus.”

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

Rhiannon held him, comforted him, just as much as he hoped he was doing for her. Soft kisses were set against his cheeks, and in response he stroked through her hair and waited for his turn to kiss hers in return.​

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Told that they made their own fate, that from now on they'd decide their own future, Arcturus could not help but feel relief washing away the misery. He nodded, humming in agreement, and soon heard the sound of something heavy dropping into the crucible. It hissed and bubbled as the impurities were burned away and the copper melted down.​

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In doing so it seemed as though the very air around them lightened up.​

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He leaned into the kiss, deepening it and settling one hand to the small of her back. "I love you" he said, no longer whispering as he so often did, it was said with a firm certainty. "Let the future take root in the present" he echoed...​