Private The One Less Traveled By

[Judah Lesan]

The Jedi had lost their way, or Judah had changed. Either or both were possible. Still, the notion left Judah torn. For a while now he had been alone. There was the occasional meet up with his student, though even those were infrequent. JJ was still upset with him, and the elder Lesan could not blame the boy for it. Judah had certainly made a mess of his life since the death of his Corellian Star. She had kept him grounded in ways no one else could. Oh she had not tamed him, or ever set out to, Katara had simply been his constant, an unchanging and sure foundation in turbulent times.

Judah missed her, truly.

He had taken to the nomadic ways of youth once more. It was rare Judah ever stayed on one planet for long. His life was more that of a smuggler or spacer than Jedi. As word came of places that needed his help, he would investigate. Free from any council of Jedi, Judah had become reliant on his own sense of justice, and what it meant to uphold peace in the galaxy. That was why it had been an odd thing for Judah to participate when Starchaser's call reached out to all Jedi that could convene. Oh the threats in the galaxy were ever grander than he remembered, but Judah had never thought he would count the Jedi among them.

The reports of what the Brynadul were doing were devastating, but what Judah had read of the Silver Jedi during the last campaign was equally disturbing. They were corrupting, rotting from the inside. Jedi that would do anything to stop the horde had turned to arts which were not natural, not of the light. They would become what they dared to claim to stand against in order to stop the genocidal monsters which were knocking on the door.

Judah did not know his own thoughts, he had claimed he would search out the old path, return to the old ways, but Judah knew the truth. It would be a lonely path.

He did not want to be alone.

As was his practice, Judah left an odd ad in the classifieds section of the Holonet. The bounty board was always being watched by someone close, someone Judah cared for deeply. It was an odd relationship, one which he refused to define. It was better that way. Magena Dray was not a friend, but she was not his companion. They were something quite toxic and complicated when together for any length of time, and even from a distance Judah knew she was dangerous. Yet, he did not care. He was drawn to her for reasons he would not name, and she the same. She came in and out of his life at her own whims, and he the same with her.

Today, Judah simply needed the simplicity of what they were when they were actually together.

Lovers.

It was always passionate and never boring. They knew each other, and with both of them being empaths they certainly connected in ways not open to most. Judah lay on his back, breathless and sweaty, his finger drawing lazy circles and patterns on the Zeltron's bare shoulder. It was quiet for a time as Judah simply listened to them breath. He would have fallen asleep had it not been for all the thoughts still on his mind.

He finally sighed. Magena was an empath, and he knew him... too well. Judah knew he could not hide the fact their dalliance had not cleared his mind of the things which had been troubling him when she arrived on his ship. Judah would have to say something.

"The Jedi have lost themselves... I don't know why I try anymore... Maybe I'm the one that is lost?"

 

[Magena Dray]

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The message was always a little bit different, but every time, she knew. Throughout the many years Magena had tried to forget him, his presence, ignore when he would put out that quirky ad meant to draw in her attention.

...And yet.

There were just some people, though she would never admit it for fear of possibly alluding to some unspoken devotion or attachment, that she couldn’t seem to stay away from. There was weakness in her life.

Judah was one such person.

She’d known her current bed fellow since their streetrat days with Dothan, but in the end he had left her and chosen to become a Jedi, a calling she herself had refused, and that was where their paths diverted.

He was different from her in every sense. He’d married, settled down with a fire-haired bombshell whom he’d raised a kid with. Life for him had been, well, relatively stable. Judah was a do-gooder. Maybe a little unorthodox with a few rough edges, but he had ethics. A moral center, and a want to do the right thing. Maybe he didn’t see himself as a straight shooter, but at the core, that’s who he was.

As for herself? She’d flitted here and there, made more mistakes than she cared to admit and inflicted pain wherever she went. Living in a world that was unpredictable, Magena learned early on that you either survived, or died as a victim of circumstance. As the Galaxy grew darker, she adapted and unreservedly reached her hands elbow-deep into the mire. Sure, she had her own code she lived by in this high-stakes life, but it was dubious and what most would consider skewed, at best.

But, when she was here with him there was a simplicity reminiscent of those less turbulent times. Maybe that’s why she always came back? She pushed the thoughts far into the back of her mind. picking up on the emotional state of the man at her side. Magena shifted around to face him, the crisp white sheets wrapped around her smooth pink legs. She could feel the mood trying to shift into something complicated and uncomfortable. She had half a mind to make a quip about not being his shrink, but instead decided she would try to steer the conversation a different direction.

Magena smiled faintly in the dimly lit room, a sculpted brow quirking upwards. “Well, the offer always stands if you want to come make it big with a less stuffed up lot. We've been lost from the start. No saving necessary. You'd fit right in. Taking a new job soon.”

Judah Lesan

 

[Judah Lesan]

She had been trying for years to get Judah to abandon the Jedi entirely. From the moment she heard about Katara's death, Magena had been trying to help him see there was nothing of his old life to hold onto. There had always been JJ, though Judah knew that relationship was not what it could have been. His son was upset about Aspen, and rightfully so. Judah should have been. He should have been upset that Magena had given him a son and not told him anything about it.

He sighed as her words came. It was quick breath through his mouth and slowly out his nose. The action was fraught with emotion. Judah knew that Magen was not one for serious emotion, so the fact she did not entirely deflect and find some reason that she needed to be somewhere else all of a sudden meant something. He would never admit to her that she was more to him than their dalliances. THAT would scare her away entirely. It was true, however. Magena Dray was the furthest possible woman in the galaxy he should have feelings for, and yet he did.

"We both know why I keep saying no to actually joining," he grinned. "Can't say I'm not tempted though."

Magena knew why he had joined the Jedi in the first place, and if she knew what was happening in the galaxy, which she always seemed to, then she knew why he was conflicted. The Jedi were simply not the Jedi he had joined. Their tactics and reason for existing had changed. Yes, when he was younger he may have been all about killing Sith. After years of helping to heal the devastation caused by such fringe ideals, Judah could no longer accept that conflict was the way.

No matter how many innocents they tried to keep out of harms way, they would die.

No matter how many worlds they claimed to liberate, their methods would bring destruction and chaos.

Judah could not sit back and watch it happen, but he could no longer be part of a group which believed this way either. Maybe there was a compromise with Magen was suggesting.

"How much killing involved in the job of yours. Because the Jedi want to do a lot that these days... you might want to hire one of them and not some washed up has been."

Magena Dray