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The Shadowbringer

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Fidavar Norn

Dealer of Death
Fidavar Norn
Character Bio

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OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

PRODUCTION INFORMATION

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS
**The Armament Rating becomes Extreme when the Retribution Cannon is deployed at full strength
  • 56 Squadrons
  • | Hangar Allocations |
    • | Starfighters | 40 Squadrons
    • | Support Craft | 16 Squadrons
  • | Maneuverability Rating | Very Low
  • | Speed Rating | Very Low
  • | Hyperdrive Class | Very Slow
  • | Cargo Capacity |
    • 250,000 Metric Tons
    • Supplies for 250,000 Individuals
  • | Consumables | 5.5 Years
  • | Personnel |
    • 40,000 Imperial Stormtroopers
    • 35,000 Support Personnel
  • | Ground Support |
    • Droids
    • Speeder Bikes
    • Armored Personnel Carriers
    • Tanks
    • Artillery
    • Walkers
    • Heavy Walkers

STANDARD FEATURES

ADVANCED SYSTEMS

STRENGTHS
  • | They Who Endure | As the Shadowbringer is based on the design of the Apollyon Class Star Dreadnaught serviced by the Sith Empire, the Shadowbringer is designed to absorb immense amounts of damage directed and absorbed by it. Its ability to sap the shields of hostile vessels through the use of the Assimilator Cannon's design in order to bolster its own allows for the Shadowbringer to become a powerful defensive wall that can protect nearby friendly vessels. This bolsters the effective shield strength of the Shadowbringer to nearly double its original capacity; this with its ability to steal the properties of enemy shields on top of its innate adaptive shielding from the Liskarm shields it is equipped with allow the Shadowbringer to tank an extreme amount of damage that is absorbed by its shields.
  • | Stand Together | The Shadowbringer can distribute the shields it absorbs via the Assimilator Cannon to nearby friendly vessels within a ten-kilometer range. Like the Apollyon Dreadnaught, the Shadowbringer is based on, the Shadowbringer can impart the properties of the shields that it has/gains to friendly vessels.
  • | Respond in Kind | The greatest threat at the Shadowbringer's disposal is its Retribution Cannon. As the Shadowbringer following its absorption of hostile enemy's shields can take an incredible amount of damage, the Retribution class cannon can charge up an extremely powerful shot, capable of punching through several star destroyers and even a dreadnaught if they are lined up in a single destructive beam.
WEAKNESSES
  • | Slow Fire | Much of the threat that the Shadowbringer possesses comes in the form of the Assimilator and Retribution Cannons, both of which have an incredibly slow fire rate (Roughly one to three shots for both during any engagement). Evading either of them results in an incredible loss of both debuffing enemy ships by robbing them of their shields for the Assimilator Cannon as well as potential firepower for the Retribution Cannon.
  • | Direct Fire | The greatest threat that the Shadowbringer possesses is its Assimilator Cannon and Retribution Kyber Cannon, both of which are only capable of being aimed forward. If one stays out of its direct line of fire, there is little danger of being reduced to space debris with its devastating weapons.

DESCRIPTION

The Nemesis-Class Star Dreadnaught christened as The Shadowbringer by the New Imperial Order is a flagship vessel based on the designs of the Apollyon-Class Dreadnaught designed and serviced by the Sith Empire, with its schematics and features taken by Kor Vexen prior to his defection from the Sith Empire. With its plans and designs given to ApexTech Industries, the Shadowbringer is essentially an upgraded version of its predecessor, featuring a much more lethal punch hidden up its sleeve.​
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The core functionality of The Shadowbringer is more or less the same as its direct predecessor, focused around draining priority vessels/targets of their shields and bolstering the defenses of the fleet it heads in battle. The Shadowbringer is improved with its utilization of the Retribution Cannon, being able to charge up a powerful laser beam utilizing the extra shields it siphoned off of a target to further add to the damage it absorbs and stores before delivering a Hurrikaine enhanced Kyber laser. Due to the size of the Retribution Cannon, the Shadowbringer features less large scale capital ship weaponry compared to the Apollyon, but still enough to present itself as a major threat to any smaller vessel.​
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The Assimilator Cannon is stored in the starboard 'prong' of the ship's design, being able to shift itself into the central position and fire, then returned to the starboard holding section for storage and protection. Like its predecessor on the Apollyon, the Shadowbringer's Assimilator Cannon can be used against enemy vessels or planetary shields, with the capability of opening up a hole in their shields that can allow for smaller vessels and craft to slip through. The same applies to the Retribution Cannon which is stored in the port side 'prong' of the vessel, with a fully charged laser fired from it having the potential to punch clean through a vessel of similar size with a direct hit. Both cannons are housed within Nutorium lined compartments, masking their readiness to fire as well as their presence from enemy scanners until they are brought out and at the ready. The central section between the two prongs features a set of hangars, allowing for starfighters and any other support vessels to be deployed when neither of the primary cannons is actively in place. Additional hangars are also located on both the port and starboard of the dreadnaught itself.​
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The Shadowbringer features enough space to ferry an entire Corps of stormtroopers to battle within its hull, along with supporting vehicles and supplies to support a planetary siege. With the six sets of hangars located on the starboard, port, underside, and fore of the vessel, it can dispense its starfighter support and additional support craft in a short span of time. The Shadowbringer houses an entire Stormtrooper Corps, fully outfitted and equipped for large scale assaults with its complement of vehicles and aerial support.​
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[ KVX 'Retribution' Class Kyber Cannon Deployed ]
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Last edited:

Fiolette Fortan

Guest
F
Fidavar Norn Fidavar Norn

The wording on the first weakness here could use some clarification because it comes off more as a strength rather than a weakness. Other than that this looks good, so, if you could clarify to me or edit the weakness so it comes across more effectively as a weakness then we're good to go.
 

John Locke

V U L K A N
John Locke
Admin
Character Bio
Fidavar Norn Fidavar Norn

This is a really solid submission, there are just a few issues that jumped out at me which I have mentioned below.

Permissions

  1. Links to a faction forum are not acceptable for permissions, not everyone has access to your forum and so can check the permissions. Please directly link to the permissions given or provide screencaps.

I will then check the components/defenses/weapons on the ship once the permissions have been fixed accordingly.​

| Model | Nemesis-Class Star Dreadnaught 'Shadowbringer'
Click to expand...

2. Even sound links have to be sourced correctly. Please include proper sourcing for the sound file.​

Manufacturer

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As you can see from the table above, the only faction that can produce 10km Ships are Major Factions, Please adjust the manufacturer to include the NIO as the primary manufacturer. Other companies can be included as secondary manufacturers.​

Weaknesses

| Take the Hits | The Shadowbringer is very masochistic in its design, intentionally made to focus on taking damage from all sources without taking too much structural damage. Much of its offensive armaments of smaller scale as well as capital grade weaponry have been sacrificed in favor of defensive systems, equating it to a very hefty punching bag compared to most Dreadnaughts that bristle with more weaponry.
Click to expand...

In the weakness above you state that much of the offensive armament has been sacrificed for defenses leaving it "a very hefty punching bag compared to most Dreadnaughts that bristle with more weaponry" however the ship still has a Very High/Extreme rating and an Extreme defense, which is analogous to most other SSDs on the board. ​
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Since this weakness isn't borne out by the ratings on the submission, please remove it.​

Description

Some of the language in the description needs to be made less absolute since your target is the one who calls their damage.

Like its predecessor on the Apollyon, the Shadowbringer's Assimilator Cannon can be used against enemy vessels or planetary shields, opening up a hole in their shields that can allow for smaller vessels and craft to slip through.
Click to expand...

The same applies to the Retribution Cannon which is stored in the port side 'prong' of the vessel, with a fully charged laser fired from it being able to punch clean through a vessel of similar size.
Click to expand...

The two quotes above are the main points of issue. While you do say can, the way it is written makes it seem as if this is the only outcome. I would suggest including the phrase potentially or phrasing to that effect, I have included examples below.. ​
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"Like its predecessor on the Apollyon, the Shadowbringer's Assimilator Cannon can be used against enemy vessels or planetary shields, potentially opening up a hole in their shields that can allow for smaller vessels and craft to slip through."​
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"The same applies to the Retribution Cannon which is stored in the port side 'prong' of the vessel, with a fully charged laser fired from it being able to potentially punch clean through a vessel of similar size."​
 

Fidavar Norn

Dealer of Death
Fidavar Norn
Character Bio
John Locke John Locke

1. All companies have had appropriate permissions linked to screencaps/purchase posts. I believe everything else is in order regarding that, but if there was anything that I missed let me know.​
2. The Cover Artists's Youtube channel has been appropriately linked next to the linked song.​
3. The New Imperial Order has been added to the Manufacturer's List.​
4. Weakness has been removed as requested.​
5. Wording has been adjusted to be less definitive.​
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If there is anything else that requires further adjusting or if I missed anything, please feel free to let me know.​
 
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