Private The Truth

[Ansisa]

The feet of thousands of spectators, the calamity voices and random cheers thrummed overhead, the tension in the preparation chamber so thick Ansisa was certain it would slow a knife if she'd thrown it. She hovered by the door, battling with herself. She'd spent months avoiding him since she'd come to his aid on Ordo. Their bond sealed tightly shut, leaving him to roil in the emotions that battered at her door without her help.

Hands were carefully affixing his armour into place, each piece affixed with care and devotion. Hands, that should have been hers. The jealousy was the final thing to push her over the threshold, stepping into the room and moving to stand before him, ruby eyes settling upon his own.

She extended a hand to the servant approaching with a vambrace, taking it from them.

"Leave us."

The command was quiet, but absolute. A quick glance to their lord to hear any protest he might have before they all filed out in silence, the door closing behind them, leaving them in silence, were it not for the ominous roar of the arena's audience.

Gently, she began fixing the vambrace into place. The closeness to him raising her heartbeat, her mouth drying. "This kaggath is an absurdity." she hissed, finally looking up from her work to meet his gaze again.

"You're putting yourself in danger needlessly and for what? If you truly wanted Darth Strosius dead you could have him assassinated. What does this ridiculous show achieve?"

Darth Malum of House Marr

 

[Darth Malum of House Marr]

She had been outside for quite a while, and he did not need their bond to know that. He had sent her an invitation to come here, but he had not truly expected that she would come. It had been quite some time since Ordo, and in that time their bond had been shut off entirely.

Or at least he should say it was shut off from her side, no matter if it had been he who despised that thing so much.

It had remained open.

He had said his goodbyes already, to father, to mother, both of them so outraged with him still, the latter... close to tears. He had said his goodbyes to his sisters, to Caecia of House Marr, Elise of House Marr , Julia, and Sophia of House Marr .

He had said goodbye to Trayze Tesar .

He had said his goodbyes to all those who could not make it here... the galaxy was a busy place after all.

He had said his goodbye to Elise Ahana-Gwyneira .

There still yet remained one though.

He said nothing, did nothing other than blinking owlishly as the servant, the makeshift squire was sent off, and she entered the room, meeting her orbs and marching ever closer.

He swallowed nervously as she grew so close, as the vambrace slotted into place in the armour's frame.

Their eyes met again.

He could not help but smile, but the sombreness in his facade was not hidden.

He had said he would not lie to her.

"Killing him has never been my purpose... I will save him or I imagine I will die trying," His mouth was dry, he had faced death many a time in his relatively short life, yet as the great cacophony of voices above reminded him, he had never had such spectacle to witness his potential victory...

...Or his potential defeat.

"...It is good you are here, the Tsis'Kaar lieutenants have been assembled the opposite of the Inquisition, you will need to take your place as the Shadow's Hand among them... if I fall..." He parsed his lips, unable to gaze away from those oh-so-familiar red orbs, "If I fall you will lead the Tsis'Kaar to bend their knees to Darth Strosius, you remember what I told you of the Rule of Two? Consider him my successor, with my force behind his... and then when the time comes, you will usurp him, do you understand?" Was there spite in any of what he said? No, he simply was following the plan which had been laid out so long ago by... them, as yellow peered behind red, they gazed towards their successor.

Were they ready?

Ansisa

 

[Ansisa]

Ansisa's hand froze momentarily at his words, a lump forming in her throat, one she swallowed down upon hard unable to tear her gaze away from his. she drew in a shaky breath tearing herself away to pick up the second vambrace, her eyes fixed on it as her movements became a little harsher, the tightening more aggressive, her frustration rising.

"Damn you and your bleeding heart." she hissed, shoving his arm down and finally looking back up at him.

"I will not bend my knee to him, because you are not going to fall. You cannot fall, Malum. Do you hear me?" her voice cracked and she closed her eyes. everything she had bottled away, everything she had compartmentalized in order to do her duty, to be the Shadow Hand he needed, to go where he could not, to lead the operations her couldn't.

Even now, after so long she gave everything to him.

"There is too much at stake," she continued, her voice still shaky, yet calmer, her throat burning with emotion she refused to let spill forth. "You have not come this far, to fall for the sake of saving a man that continues to dig his own grave. It would be a waste, the Tsis'Kaar would be wasted under his control. I will not..."

She trailed off, her heartbeat loud in her own ears.

"I need you to survive this."

Darth Malum of House Marr

 

[Darth Malum of House Marr]

He grunted as she fastened the second vambrace into place, she was neither gentle nor soft in how she undertook the motions. Such was to be expected, he knew rather well, for all that his apprentice was...

...For all she was...

She was never to be one that would limply accept the words that had been drawn from his lips, the majority of him could not help but smile at such defiance, such pride that had drawn him to her that day on Alvaria. Yet, this was not the first time that they had these kinds of disputes, and if he had it his way it would not be the last.

Alas, if it were to be the last, she would need to be prepared for all that would come after.

"I would wager it was my bleeding heart that drew you to me in the first place, Lady Karan'sis'atrob," He japed easily as he breathed, it was so much easier to hide behind jokes rather than truly face the gravity of what he faced.

Or perhaps he had already faced that... it was not the first time he and his...

Co-...

He and his apprentice had crossed blades.

They had lost once... but all the other times...

Red eyes blinked away the yellow, as the smile even if flickering remained upon his face, gazing down upon her. Perhaps he had already faced that, and he only tried to spare her what could come.

"...I have no intention to fall, but..." He let out a sigh, "He is a Sith Lord, my mortality is a true possibility... I have been too lax in preparation for it, too certain of my youth... a mistake that I may not be able to remedy now," She was growing more intense, more emotional, any other time he might have lightly chided such a thing.

The importance of one's mask is paramount.

But when had they ever needed masks around each other?

...Many a time he realised.

Another regret to add to a growing list.

His hands drifted out to grasp her shoulders, holding firmly, the touch comforting despite how... long it had been, "I will not lose if I can help it, but if I do lose, I need you to do this, guide Darth Strosius onto the correct path, you are capable, I know that much well," His breathing was growing heavier as he blinked out the pinpricks in his eyes, "...I also would ask of you to make certain my family is safe, I might simply be the heir, and my father yet still lives, but my ego made all our success centre on me... make certain Caecia is in position to ascend to the heirship..." Despite whatever ambitions his uncle held for Vita, it was his elder sister who was his heir.

He had already stolen so much from her.

He could at least give her this last gift, what she wanted most in the world.

Even if it cost him his life.

"...Make certain she or my father ascends in Alvaria..." He chuckled softly, "...My hubris now stings so heavily... I should have formalised their place in the succession..." So much he should have done.

And he might never get the chance.

Ansisa

 

[Ansisa]

The use of her full name drew the click of her tongue and she shook her head looking down at trembling hands, images of Aureus and Caelia passing across her mind. How would she tell them, that their father had died before he'd ever known they existed...

She looked up as his hands found her shoulders, the tears spilling over her cheeks finally as he laid out his last wishes for her. Guide Strosius. An impossible task, and he knew it.

Set Caecia or his father in place as heir on Alvaria.

No.

"Stop it." She whispered the words falling out of her mouth before she could stop them, her gaze searching his. "Stop laying out your final wishes..I can't..."

She shook his hands free of her shoulders and stepped back, desperately trying to collect herself, wiping away the tears moving back to his armour peices and collecting the rerambrace.

"I didn't come down here for that."

She stepped back to his right, fixing the piece around his upper arm. The movement and focus allowing her to calm, and though her chest ached with sorrow and pain she could focus.

Ansisa opened the doors of the bond that she had sealed tightly shut on Ordo.

"I will not allow you to go into this fight without me." She said softly allowing her love to trickle through the bond. "I know you hate it and I know the laws say I cannot intefere, but making use of something that already exists..."

She paused, reaching a hand up to his face, thumb caressing his cheek. "You will not lose."

Darth Malum of House Marr

 

[Darth Malum of House Marr]

The smile fell away from his face as she refused him. Such was ironically becoming more and more of a common occurrence, even as the amount of opportunities she had to refuse him withered further and further away, as they grew more and more distant. The pain in his heart was an easy enough reminder of all that had happened after Csilla.

He did not need her rubbing salt onto the wound.

Yet, even as the glimmer of annoyance broke his brow.

He simply parsed his lips.

It would be unfair to ask her of this.

Yet, he asked her precisely because she was the only one he trusted to do this, the only one in position to do this.

His apprentice.

His first love.

He missed the warmth of her presence as soon as she stepped away, every instinct in his body screamed that he should reach out to wipe those tears from her face, to embrace her, to tell her that it would all be okay.

But he would not lie to her.

And it had been far too many moons, far too much hurt, for their relationship to ever cross those boundaries again.

Even as his guilt knew even after Csilla, they had crossed that boundary far too many times.

"You must..." He pressed, taking a step forward, pressing her, needing her to do what she was meant to do.

What he needed her to do.

Only to pause as she fitted the next piece of the armour onto his upper hand, once again finding his throat dry as he swallowed, their closeness so familiar.

Yet it was that familiarity which so would doom him.

...He had to know inviting her here would have caused this...

...So why?

Mortality and morality made for strange bedfellows, but...

...He had already betrayed so much...

...Why not one more, at the twilight of his life?

He let out a heavy breath, as the full force of... her, flooded through his wide-open gates. Even now, so long after this bond was forged between them, he could not help the gasp that whispered through his lips, the sensation of having another person entirely... be fully... one with you.

Red eyes disappeared from the world as her fingers caressed his cheek.

He knew he should have stopped her.

He knew this was a betrayal.

He knew what he should have done.

Instead, the weakness won, and they simply stood, in this position.

Intimate, close, comfortable.

Loving.

"...You cannot, this is my battle, my battle to win, you cannot interfere..." Red eyes glimmered sullenly as they awakened back to the darkened world in which they stood, "He is my brother, and either I will save him, or..." He trailed off, even in preparing for that scenario, he could not find it in himself to verbalise it.

Or even think of it.

Ansisa

 

[Ansisa]

Time seemed to freeze around them, the steady thrum of the spectators fading away to nothing. It was just them. Standing close, breathing falling into sync as the threads of their bond locked into place, sealing them as one.

One mind.

One soul.

One body.

"Your battles are my battles. If saving him is your goal then it is my goal also. I am yours. I am your apprentice. I am your..."

There was a pang of sorrow as the word lover could not quite fall from her lips. They hadn't been lovers for a long time, but that did not mean that the emotion wasn't there. It didn't mean she had ever stopped...

And how could she, when she saw his face in their children.

An image of Caelia passed through her mind, beaming up at her with pride at the frog she'd caught with her bare hands.

She blinked it away.

"Take every advantage you can get, Malum."

Darth Malum of House Marr

 

[Darth Malum of House Marr]

He stilled for a moment.

Even as the cacophony of the outbounds gave way to the soft whisper of her sweet voice.

What had he just...

A face that was... familiar, a face which... he had never seen in his entire life.

It was Kara's face, but it was also... a face that he might have seen if he gazed into the eyes of his sisters, as distinct as they had all been, the Marr siblings had always had similarities, but...

...The visions he had in their time together... of a child...

He hissed as he stepped away from her touch, his hands gripping onto raven locks as red glimmered dangerously against yellow, staring down upon hard ground, as breathing grew quicker, grew wilder.

His mind turned back across time, to Csilla when all had been undone, to the lone hill, the solitary tree, the unnamed gravestone, which he had been unable to stop visiting month after month, for the pain did not deserve to stop, for all the agony he deserved, for all the agony that he had caused.

Why would his mind show him a vision of what he knew was now impossible?

But of course.

He knew it was not the musing visions of a lovesick fool.

One mind.

One soul.

One body.

His fingers fell from raven locks, yellow left his eyes, there was a shimmer in his orbs, as he narrowed them, gazing back up towards the Chiss who had shown him that vision.

But.

He knew that was no vision.

"...Who was that?"

Ansisa

 

[Ansisa]

Ansisa froze, dread rising from the pit of her stomach. She hadn't meant for him to see...she hadn't meant for him to know...

This was why she had closed the bond in the first place.

"Malum...I..."

She what? What was she to say? She couldn't lie to him, not while the bond was open. So what now?

Her mouth was dry, she licked her lips nervously taking a step forward. "Her name is Marr'aelia'karan." Her voice was trembling. "She has a brother, a twin."

She let the images flow forth, the two of them playing together, the joy on their face when she came home, the sorrow of her having to leave them again.

"His name, is Marr'aureus'karan."

Her vision blurred with tears that she blinked away.

"They are your children."

Darth Malum of House Marr

 

[Darth Malum of House Marr]

It was a silence that a pin drop could shatter.

It was a silence so deep that all the great noises outside of this room withered away into a nothingness as all he could hear was the beating of his own heart, as the blood flowed hotly to his ears.

Her words repeated again, and again in his mind.

"They are your children."

No...

"They are your children."

How could...

"They are your children."

When...

Every denial, every question, was denied as his sight was assaulted by new sights, by memories that were not his, but memories that may as well of been, as through red eyes he pierced through the veil was made to bear witness...

...The most beautiful sights he had ever seen.

Two, a girl, and a boy, blue of skin, black of hair, red of eyes, the products of visions which had been seen so long ago, products of visions which were impossible, which had been made impossible.

But as he watched.

Watched them in mere seconds grow from tiny babes, to walking shakily on two feet.

...He could not deny it.

The pricking at his ears finally found produce, tears forming upon lids, as they overflowed, trailing down his cheek, as... as...

"Caelia and Aureus..." He whispered, choking back upon his emotions, as the amulet began to warm, and she remained still.

Recognising the names which had been mere hypotheticals... which he had burned himself to forget.

Only now to see.

They were real.

Ansisa

 

[Ansisa]

Ansisa took another shakey step forward, her love for them burning through the bond, brighter and more powerful than anything she'd ever felt.

She took another step as the tears began to spill over his pale cheeks, her hands reaching to brush them away.

"I wanted to tell you..." her voice was soft yet shook with the emotion that flowed through both of them.

"But you and Elise..." there was a pang of hurt, its edges tinted with loathing. "You were happy...until you weren't. And every time I saw you, every time we..."

She swallowed. "There was never a right time."

Darth Malum of House Marr

 

[Darth Malum of House Marr]

His breathing fought between precise and crazed, like a man drowning all he could do was attempt to forestall imminent and entire panic, the moment when the rational part of the brain entirely shut off and instead survival would be the only port of call.

He could not...

...He could not lose himself, when just now, in this... in what words spilt forth out of her lips, in what feelings pressed through the unbreakable connection that they shared.

He had never been so... centred.

"...I have children... I have heirs..." He whispered, even as every other emotion fought to break the ocean's surface, in this moment, there was only the awe, the disbelief, the... beating of a heart that had long ago thought hope was a fool's errand.

He did not protest as her coarse fingers trailed along his cheek, wiping tears, as more fell down, even as he fell back against the wall which he stood near, an audible thud as armour clanked against the hardened substance, as without support, wavering knees were liable to collapse.

Ansisa

 

[Ansisa]

A great weight seemed to lift from her chest and shoulders, one that she had bot realosed had been there, for notnonce had she thought of her choldren and their safety as a burden but keeping it from him certainly had taken its toll.

"Yes, Malum." She breathed, tears rolling beginning to carve tracks down her own cheeks as she seized the front of his armour to keep him upright.

"You have children...we have children." She tugged him upright again, pulling him close letting him lean on her. "But they cannot be your heirs if you die today."

She had to bring his focus back to the here and now. "Only you can legitimise them. So save your brother if you must, but remember he is not the only family you have. Your children need you to survive."

Darth Malum of House Marr

 

[Darth Malum of House Marr]

His mind was spinning, thoughts of three different minds melding in a melting pot that threatened to keel over and spill out, that endangered to boil over and leave nothing in its wake. It was with her assistance, her touch, her so familiar touch that he was held standing, even as all of him, beyond simply the material, wished nothing more than to come crumbling down.

Yet, with what he knew.

All that he knew.

How could he do that?

A mind was his.

Another was his.

Another was... also his?

It was instinct as his hand trailed up to her face, as he breathed a warm breath that caressed her features, as coarse fingers wiped away the salty tereses that trailed down her cheek.

His entire body shifted, and with a strength her form would not have suggested, he was leaning against her.

They were too close.

This was wrong.

Even as his mind shifted to thoughts of golden locks, it only compounded how wrong this all was.

Yet he did not leave this makeshift embrace.

For how could something which brought this peace to his mind, to his heart, ever be wrong?

Even as the time ticked away.

Even as he knew they did not have much time left.

Even as her words struck him, and he...

He swallowed tightly.

"...You should have told me earlier... I could have prepared..." His mind went through so many different thoughts that by the end he could not even remember what he had considered, "...Legitimise them... Aureus and Caelia... they shall be..." He blinked out the tears, Aureus and Caelia who he had never had the opportunity to see grow.

Who he might never get to.

Names.

Names that he had thought fleeting.

Names and memories that were not his.

He could not leave them without a father.

He could not leave them without their inheritance.

His comlink activated, a recording prepared, "...I, Darth Malum, of House Marr... Lord of the Tsis'Kaar... Emperor of Alvaria... and Dark Councillor of the Sith Empire... of sound mind and body... with Lady Karan'sis'atrob as witness..." His heart skipped a beat, "Hereby recognise, Aureus and Caelia as of my body, and in the event of my demise, heirs to all which I have, and stand to inherit." His voice was hollow, his eyes were still, his breathing difficult.

The commlink shut off, the recording ended, as he pulled it off his wrist and offered it. It would have to do, he would have liked to do so much more... but it would have to do.

He would not fall.

He could not fall.

But if he did...

...She was the only one who carried his legacy.

Ansisa

 

[Ansisa]

Their closeness was dangerous, it always had been. Ever since Csilla they had kept pulling away from each other, always to be tugged back together, whather through their work or by their bond and always...

She didn't move, heart hammering in her chest as he brush tears away from her face she fought the urge to kiss him, to tell him how much she loved him.

She remained deathly silent as he spoke, fingers digging in a little tighter to the soft gaps of his armour, releasing him only to accept the wristcom from his hand, her own fingers trembling, wrapping around his.

Fear settled over her heart, fear that she wouldn't see him again. The wiehht of the burden he placed on her...to see his legacy through.

Tears still flowed, and she drew in a deep shuddering breath, lips parting, trying to find words of comfort, words to encourage him to survive, to ensure that he came back. She wanted to tell him how sorry she was for keeping the twins hidden, for shutting him out when he needed her.

But nothing came.

Seconds seemed to become hours as she simply loked at him. Taking in every detail of his face, every tone of red in his eyes. She reached a hand to brush a strand of raven hair from his face, fingers pausing as she hesitated for just a beat.

She leaned in, brushing her nose against his, before placing a gentle kiss upon his lips.

Darth Malum of House Marr

 

[Darth Malum of House Marr]

Her death grip between the joints and weakpoints of his armour spoke a hundred otherwise unspoken words, that as she took the wristcomm and wrapped her fingers around his spoke a thousand more. There was a coarseness in her fingers that was not unlike his, a lifetime spent at war, and all the preparations that came with that.

Yet there was a juxtaposing softness too.

An alert that they crossed another boundary.

If only this was the extent of the boundaries crossed, he might have been able to gaze into the mirror, gaze upon gold and red eyes, and still call himself a good man.

Yet, when had goodness ever mattered?

Simply, righteousness.

Idle fingers still stroked her face, wiping tears as they fell, as they fell into silence. Not an uncomfortable silence, indeed, this was a silence between them that he knew well, the air smelled of sweetness, even as those outside chanted for blood, in the safety of this chamber, they were themselves.

It was as that beautiful gazed upon him, the reflection of how close they truly stood, as her fingers strayed across his hair.

He knew what came next.

He had never been a good man.

His lips pressed against hers, soft, gentle, yet, as passionate as all their embraces had been, the fireworks exploded in the back of his mind as they had done on their first-ever meeting upon Alvaria. Red orbs closed themselves from the world, as they were transported away from this place to whence they were happiest, smiles upon their faces, in their room, as if nothing else mattered apart from them. His arms instinctively wrapped themselves around her waist, holding her in place, as the hunger only she could bring out took command of his form.

As the bell rang.

And he broke away suddenly.

The sounds of the arena was suddenly entirely too audible.

The fact that he faced death far more prescient.

His arms left her.

His gaze levelled with hers, "...Take care of them..." His words were a mere whisper, as he fell away from her to the entrance to the grounds, his knees wavered, his heart swelled, his fingers wiped away any proof of tears, his arms were heavy, the armour fit for him, suddenly a boulder which crushed him.

...Would he survive if he went out there?

"...Please let them know their father... even if they will never met him."

Ansisa

 

[Ansisa]

The coldness he left in his wake as he broke away from their kiss, and he stepped back from their embrace, the weight of the world beyond this chamber came to rest upon both of them, the cacophony of noise that had seemed so far away was suddenly on top of them. She drew in a deep breath, collecting herself for the worst.

"I will." She whispered, "They will."

She moved to take a step after him, to follow him into whatever doom lay in wait, but caught herself. There were a thousand things they had yet to say, so much more that they had yet to do. She turned to leave, but hesitated, battling for a moment between being the Shadow Hand she was supposed to be, and the woman who loved him.

The woman won.

She spun back, closing the gap between them in a blink, her hands sliding into his hair as she kissed him fiercely. "I love you, Malum of House Marr. Survive this, not just for our children, but for me." Her plea was all but growled, more a demand. And then she was gone, sweeping from the room wiping away her own tears, a steely mask settling into place as she disappeared from his sight.

Darth Malum of House Marr

 

[Darth Malum of House Marr]

He had some peace then with her answer, drawing on his own breath, calming nerves that had been far too inflamed by all which had occurred these last few minutes... no, they had been inflamed ever since that Bogan-damned reception, it was just that every event after had inflamed them even more.

Yet this...

This was an ice down his veins, and once ice grew cold enough.

It burned.

He was no fatalist, even as he knew fate and destiny were very real forces that acted upon their world, if he went out there, even with the possibility of defeat, a high possibility, a high risk, he had always known that the only option there ever had been was his own victory.

The words of his old Mistress, scurrying in the back of his mind, had never felt so pertinent.

Success or Death.

Success or Death indeed.

He only now had added reason to triumph out there, not only for his life, not only for his dreams, not only for the fate and destiny he would forge for himself, not only to save an apprent- bro- brother, not only to pummel him into the ground for all the ills and harm he had caused.

Now he would triumph.

For the faces which he saw in his mind's eye.

For the names he had known but had never thought would be real.

For Aureus and Caelia.

As he stepped forward.

He was stopped as he felt her by his hair, felt her lips crashing into his, and once again the fireworks that had always strummed along as repeating explosions broke along his brain.

He lost his breath as he gave into her ministrations.

He lost himself entirely as her words struck him with the force of a star destroyer.

And then she was gone.

He had another reason to triumph.

For Kara.

Thus with renewed confidence, yet still a body altogether hazy and wavering, he took another step forward, as red eyes trailed back to where she disappeared, before peering back forward for all that awaited.

The sun blared through the cracks of the doors.

As he faced fate.

As he faced his destiny.

"...I love you too." He whispered out, with nought but the air as witness.

Ansisa