"The Wind Bloweth Where It Listeth..."

[Ashin Varanin]

The wind bloweth where it listeth, ​

and thou hearest the sound thereof, ​

but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth.​

In the corners of tales from the Dark Age there lives an invisible man, the Prophet of a Thousand Deaths, Black Eyes, Last of the One Sith, Heart of the Shard, Jailkeeper of Eternities, Corpsetaker, Treekeeper, Apostate of the White, the Endless-Cursed.

They say he found love and love killed him, and the son that his killer bore fathered a child himself. They say that child flew too close to a thousand suns and sat as a secret traitor on an obsidian throne, and took the Chosen One for her bride. They say she flew across the accretion disc of a black hole, walked through miles of inferno to knock on an Emperor's door, visited the Five on their own world and learned the secret of life. They say she made Dark Lords her children and fought the greatest duellists in a thousand years. They never say she saved as many worlds as she subjugated, but the question's always raised.

They say a lot of things about Corpsetaker's Granddaughter. Today a new tale begins. It is not the longest or the strangest or the most bitter or wise of her tales. It sheds no new light on a soul that's been debated endlessly. This story is about the day she learned that, for all the thing she could do, she had no solution for what some call the worst of all unexpected wounds.

The moment when you come home and your wife is crying on the floor.

***​

The gimer stick clattered to the floor, and Ashin's long coat tangled her bad leg as it fell off her arm, interrupted in its removal. She kept her feet by slamming a palm against the apartment wall, harder and louder than she'd meant. Her eyes wouldn't leave Spencer.

She regained her balance, physically and mentally. The door slammed behind her without a gesture. "Spence..."

The question was too obvious to ask.

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

Spencer's head shot up, she had sensed Ashin coming and knew the moment the door slammed that they were going to talk. Spencer didn't look at Ashin, she didn't move. There were somethings that she couldn't explain and Ashin knew this. Her eyes stared out towards the window that was destroyed, the wind continued to pour through it. Finally after a moment Spencer looked over at [member="Ashin Varanin"], she stood and swayed slightly.

She looked like a child who's kath hound had just gotten eaten. The woman was barefoot, quiet and clothing hanging off of her as usual. Two steps and she pulled Ashin towards her seeking a sort of comfort only the woman could offer.

“I didn't think it would be as easy as it was. I broke it because he wanted it, he was in my room and then was angry with me.”

Pulling away, tears formed again falling where the stains had marked her face. “I broke my force bond with Mikhail Shorn.”

 

[Ashin Varanin]

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]

There was, thankfully, some rationality backing up this moment's urge to cling, and cling she did, letting Spencer rest against her until the younger woman pulled away. "I..."

A moment gave her thoughts some traction to move forward into words. "I barely knew you had a true Force Bond with Shorn. I sure didn't know it was possible to break one. Force Bonds aren't something I..."

But this wasn't what the moment demanded. It demanded factors, information, input. How Shorn had gotten her so off-balance, why this was hitting Spencer so hard, and half a dozen other questions about the personal side of this, not the technical side, not the technique. But her mind kept going to the technique, because the other part of it, well, blindsided her. To the point where she didn't even know which questions to ask.

'...what can I do? What do you need me to do?"

 

[Allyson Locke]

What could Ashin do? Spencer stared at the woman as she had started to question the Force Bond, Spencer wouldn’t be able to explain more than she already had. In her mind she didn’t want to feel Shorn anymore and by having that overwhelming desire she felt something break and he was gone. Still though, she lowered her walls enough to pick up on Ashin’s emotions. Confusion mostly came across the space between them and Spencer did her best to try and calm herself for both their sakes.

For reassurance, mostly for her mind to calm down and think of something else Spencer pulled her wife into a kiss, soft tender and in need. Walls built back up around her mind, cutting her off from the empathic connection for protection and sanity. Spencer remained close and then spoke again after breaking the kiss. “I wanted to forget him. I’m tired of trying to save someone who wishes to not be saved because if he was saved – the excitement of his drama would cease to exist. I feel guilty because I couldn’t convince him to be saved.”

Sighing softly, she knew that her efforts with Mikhail were in vain. “I can’t alter or remove my own memories – if anything I can just replicate them and put them away in a holocron, but I don’t want to remember my time with Mikhail Shorn – if anything I want to know who he is and that I should stay away that’s all I need.” Pausing, she looked at her feet and spoke even softer. “Well and of course you, that’s all I need Ashin.”

[member="Ashin Varanin"]

 

[Ashin Varanin]

"Shorn's a dangerous man to forget," Ashin said, "to say nothing of what might happen if you run into him again and he realizes you don't know him. I don't have the strength in Jukre tuning to smooth out the rougher edges of your mind, not to do it right anyway. You're no Gand parliamentarian."

She drew back to think. "I...Force, Spence, I don't have a clue how to do what you need, or even know whether what you think you need really would-" She sucked her teeth in concentration. "I can think of-"

But did Spencer want her to propose a solution, or just listen? Commiserate?

"My grandfather could do it. Olra'en. Force knows I've got no love for him or he for me, but it's what he does."

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

Spencer didn’t even know what she wanted, she couldn’t tell where she could or should go from here. Pulling away from Ashin she slumped onto the edge of her bed and held her head. After a few moments she fell back and stared at the ceiling as she laid on her bed. She was confused, more so how this whole Mikhail thing had gotten out of hand.

“I thought it was just our usual banter, but of course I was wrong. Despite being a fething Empath I can’t read people. I just want to forget these bad moments. I know he’s dangerous and I want to remember that he is. But besides all of that he’s my friend or well…was” Spencer sighed again as she sat up slightly onto her elbows. Raising an eyebrow she thought about Ashin’s grandfather, she knew the man well she knew of the man.

“Would he be able to get into my head and would he help?”

[member="Ashin Varanin"]

 

[Ashin Varanin]

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]

"The man can mind-trick a Hutt, or so my father said. He can get in. As to whether he would help, I think you earned a spot in his good books when you called off Atrisia." She knelt on the bed beside Spencer, began working on the sharp-edged tension in her wife's shoulders and trapezoids. "He's not a trustworthy man, my grandfather, but he knows what I can do if he goes too far."

She alternated between palm-heels, bunched fingers, thumbs, and knife-edges, her hands falling into familiar martial arts patterns as she attempted to break the tension. "And yes, I'm still willing to use someone else's fear of me to do what needs to be done. Half the reason I'm stll with Fringe, for that matter.

"I'll call up my grandfather, arrange a meeting. Let's see what he has to say."

 

[Allyson Locke]

Her shoulders relaxed as she felt the pressure being relieved. Ashin always knew how to make her feel better and knowing that her grandfather could help eased Spencer’s mind further. She could tell though that Ashin didn’t trust the man, well beyond his words. She had only met the man a few time and really only spoke to him during the invasion of Atrisia. Frowning, if she could she would do that entire event of her life over. Adjusting herself she rested against Ashin and nodded.

“I don’t want him to get too deep into my head. You think I’d be able to fight him off if he went too far? Or if he decided to change things he wasn’t supposed too?” Pausing, she lifted her head and looked at Ashin the best she could. “You’ll be with me yeah? Also using someone’s fear of you? I don’t understand why people are scared of you. You can be a softie at times” For the first time that evening, Spencer chuckled.

[member="Ashin Varanin"]

 

[Ashin Varanin]

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]

"Oh, anyone can be a softie at times. It's called a pet the cat moment. Not that you're a cat, though petting isn't entirely inaccurate." She kept working at Spencer's trapezoids, gradually shifting down to knuckle-work on the spaces between spine and shoulderblades. "Yes, I think you could keep him from doing too much damage, but I don't think he'll try. And I do think a shot at some relief is worth the risk."

Her hands began to grow sore, not too badly, and she kept at it. "Besides, Jukre tuning could get you back to where you're supposed to be, if something goes wrong. Harmonization of individuals -- it's outside my skills, but I still know how to track down Hagron-tides-of-green on Trevel'ka. Not even the slums can kill that old Krevaaki, and he'd gladly help restore you to harmony if Je'ga did something he wasn't suposed to do."

 

[Allyson Locke]

Spencer nodded as she listened, her mind relaxing as her body did against the massage of her lover. The plan was hatched and Spencer mused over the cat and the petting comments - her mind not completely in the right place for this conversation now that she's calmer. Moving slightly, she reached for Ashin's hands and brought them to her face. Soft kisses adorned each finger as she smiled. Placing both of their hands in her lap she sighed. "Either way a moment of peace especially with you is all I want out of this. I feel childish wanting to rid my mind of this situation with Shorn."

She couldn't help but feel that way, but despite the feeling she was going to go through with it. Leaning into Ashin she nuzzled the woman softly. Once her mind had calmed down she was reminded on how much she missed the woman. "For now can you grant me some peace, Lover?"


[member="Ashin Varanin"]

 

[Ashin Varanin]

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]

Neck-deep in Spencer's troubles and her own helplessness, Ashin wasn't even close to being in the mood, but the empath would know that. Spencer would be asking because she believed that Ashin needed to take her mind off things as thoroughly as Spencer did -- and this wasn't about Ashin. If Spencer wanted distraction, distraction could be provided. She leaned back as Spencer nuzzled into her neck, ankles and calves intertwining on top of the blanket. She slipped her arm under Spencer's head so they could lie together face to face. Her free hand found Spencer's hip, pulled her close, thumb resting in the crease.

"I've never been much good at peace," she murmured, eyes roaming over Spencer's face, "but I'm always willing to try for your attention."

Shifting a little on the arm under Spencer's head, she snaked her hand down her wife's back and caught the edge of her shirt. Fingertips trailed up Spencer's spine as she pulled the shirt up, just far enough that she could slip her other hand down into the curve of her waist. She pressed Spencer close with a determined kiss.

Some time later, when her heart rate had begun to return to normal, she stared up at the ceiling with her hands behind her head. Spencer rested on her chest, cozy beside her. All Ashin could think about was the logistics of finding her grandfather, convincing him to do what needed doing, and getting out without adverse effects for Spencer.

 

[Allyson Locke]

Spencer's mind was at ease for the time being, with Ashin she lowered her defenses and felt everything the woman with her felt. Her head rested against Ashin's chest listening to the woman's heart beat – it slowed to resting state and Spencer lightly grazed the other woman's stomach with the faint touch of her finger tips. Remaining quiet for a just a moment longer, she finally looked up and nuzzled Ashin. Hopefully her mind wasn't as busy as her emotions were.

“You're wondering if your Grandfather would do it? If he decides not too, I do trust you in my head, you're the one that taught me everything I know.”

Looking back down, her hand continued to run along Ashin's stomach. She wondered if Je'gan would be open to messing with her head, or if her subconscious would even allow him in especially after feeling from Ashin.

[member="Ashin Varanin"]

 

[Ashin Varanin]

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]

The ceiling got a smile. "My father told me once that you can trust a man's intentions without trusting his skill. You've got a knack for mental finesse that I never had -- you surpassed me as a mentalist before you hit Master."

She thought of slipping free to set in the course, but from here she could just barely see down the hall to the control panel. She twirled her fingers just so, and the distant controls shifted. The Peregrine, their home for years now, would be starting preflight now. "He'll say yes. I'll make sure of it," she added, opting to stay just where she was. "And at that point, all we have to do is find the life we want, wherever we want to have it. The people we want to be around. More time with the kid. Maybe students -- not to sit through boring training sessions, but to teach how to be real people. Our kind of Jedi, maybe. You mentioned once that we're virtually a sixth schism-branch of the Order all by ourselves. Maybe we should be acting like it."

 

[Allyson Locke]

Spencer sat up from Ashin for a moment to allow the blood flow to reach her head and for her to think upon more important matters that were not physical. Ignoring the sheets and leaving herself exposed in the private setting, she looked towards the control panel watching the dials move by ways of the Force. She continued to listen to Ashin and ponder the woman's ideas, she would be able to have more time with Ibaris and have students, but not students just for Force training, but students, no they would be like children.

“Ashin, I feel as if you're suggesting I be a mother to a new group of Jedi, training them and teaching them how to be people. I do ask, what makes us ideal candidates for this type of lesson? Despite our forces on Annaj and with in the Fringe I feel ever since leaving the Empire we've been on the run. All we've had was each other.” Looking over her shoulder she glanced towards her wife and lover, it had always been the two of them and now with Ibaris – she had everything she could have ever wanted. At what price though? A smile spread across her face as she nodded.

“Good and Evil are only true by the perception of the being and of society. There is no truth as to what is good and what is evil. There is only the understanding that they both must exist for there to be a concept.” Turning her torso, she leaned over the best she could and planted a soft kiss against Ashin's lips. Remaining close, she smirked and brushed her nose against the other woman's lightly. “I do find it entertaining that we have both played the part of villain and hero,” Hazel eyes glanced over the older woman's face as she continued to speak, “Still, no one truly understands the weight of the galaxy that is bore upon your shoulders. One day we will find peace, I will not give up until then. Meeting your grandfather – he's our first step.”

[member="Ashin Varanin"]

 

[Ashin Varanin]

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]

"Mm. Teach who you will, though I don't see you needing to lead. It was just a thought. I'm not sure we need a whole order -- and how could they understand us? The only candidates who've been where we've been generally aren't the kind of people we would want." She planted a kiss on Spencer's shoulder as she rose and robed herself. The Peregrine trembled around her. Slipping into the throne at the main controls, she continued preflight.

"I'll send what needs sending. He's never had a home, so it'll be him sending coordinates to us. At least, that's how my family has always contacted him -- single pulse, he sends a location, we rendezvous, and it could be anywhere." She tapped a specific code into the Peregrine's comm panel. "He'll answer. He always answers family."

 

[Allyson Locke]

Spencer smiled quietly at the soft kiss on her shoulder, Ashin had her ways of comforting the blonde and she comforted so well. Taking the robing of her lover as a sign their fun was over, she stood as well and headed towards the shower. After a few moments she emerged clean and fresh in a pair of knee high Echani combat pants and a loose fitting tunic. Like always, she remained barefooted. Spencer made her way casually towards the throne like command chair, then passed it to lean against one of the adjacent panels.

Crossing her arms against her chest she chuckled softly. Pondering what she knew of Ashin's grandfather one of the greatest mentalist to ever have walked the halls of the Order, someone Spencer had read about when she was a padawan, and someone she secretly looked up too. The man was oddly similar to his granddaughter and Spencer wondered if Ashin would be some wanderer with no home if she wasn't there to give the woman some sort of root in this galaxy. Deciding not to voice her opinion on the two, she peered out the cockpit window for a moment.

“You think the reason he answers is because he knows your family wouldn't bother him unless he's needed? Almost like a sixth sense hmm?”

[member="Ashin Varanin"]

 

[Ashin Varanin]

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]

There's a starport on Drogheda, in a desert. Silk Holdings uses it for a refit yard.

Such was the extent of the message.

 

[Ashin Varanin]

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]
"Who knows why he does what he does. He's been known to play games with people's fate -- not to make you nervous, lover, but he's always working some kind of an angle. Picture Velok, but less benevolent, and somewhat less likely to kill. Velok but more restrained, for good and for bad, let's say."

She squinted at the comm message as she input it. "Drogheda. Is that in Republic space, Confederate space, or in between? It's in that contested area. I should know this."

The Peregrine leaped to hyperspace.

 

[Allyson Locke]

[SIZE=medium]Spencer listened as she nodded; it was probably best she take a moment while they traveled to pull the memories she had currently and store them in a holocron. Better to be safe than sorry, at least if Je’gan went too far, Ashin would be able to restore the knowledge the best she could or take it to someone who could help them. Still leaning against the panel, the younger woman pondered the location of this place, shrugging she couldn’t really remember where the location was. “Knowing your grandfather it would be somewhere close to both factions – keep his eye on both of them. Reminds me of someone.” [/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium]There it was and she let it be. Standing from where she sat, Spencer made her way towards the command chair. Once the Peregrine was in hyperspace she rested a hand on Ashin’s shoulder. “So what you’re saying is, I should trust him, yet still keep my wits about me. That’s fine I had assumed I should at least store a copy of the current state of my mind – I tend to do that collecting thoughts and memories in case something happened.” Reaching under her shirt she pulled out the necklace and behind the Alchemized chain and charm, was a small flat chip. “It’s the key to my holocron collection, in there you’ll see everything that I’ve collected and created. Most of them just memories, but also lessons I’ve learned about people, adventures, and my personal copy of the Phobis Device.”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium]A grin spread across her face as she nodded. “I trust Dissero, but I feel it’s important to have my own copy. Anyways, if Je’gan pokes too much you’ll be able to help jog my mind with them. So now that you know my little secret…I should create another little memory bank”[/SIZE]



[SIZE=medium]Spencer wandered down towards the meditation room, a personal sanctuary away from everything. Using the small chip on her necklace she unlocked the cabinet that kept all her holocrons. There she drained her knowledge and memories into the small device – storing it for safe keeping. Afterwards she joined Ashin on the bridge to await their arrival. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium][member="Ashin Varanin"][/SIZE]

 

[Ashin Varanin]

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]

Draining knowledge always, always caught his attention, both as a mentalist and a Selabite. Echoes of the process remained even after the Peregrine exited hyperspace, and as they sat and waited for Je'gan, Je'gan sat on an invisible ship nearby and listened to those echoes. Standing-wave White Current illusions immersed the ship in the fabric of the universe, rendering it undetectable by any means. And aboard that ship, he divined the purpose of the meeting. Very, very subtly. Oh, he couldn't take it from Spencer's mind -- she was good at this -- but Ashin was his granddaughter, student of her father and his son. He'd had opportunities since to get a decent idea of how to read her, at least her surface thoughts, her worries. The face and name of Mikhail Shorn caught Je'gan's attention, along with worries about the process.

The key to this next bit was twofold. First, Spencer had very recently opened her mind to implant knowledge in the holocron. Second, though she didn't know the process was now, Spencer wanted this rather badly. And there was nothing that could not be accomplished with a willing and open mind.

As Spencer waited for Je'gan, she would find less pain in memories of Shorn. She would find those memories harder to pin down, and she would care about that less and less. A proper Grandmaster-level memory rub was not traumatic. All memories slipped away in time; this process merely widened the middle of the hourglass.

It took perhaps three hours, at which point Spencer would quite likely be able to turn to Ashin and say something along the lines of "Remind me why we're waiting for this friend of yours?" At that point, Ashin would quite likely just give her a hug and say "We've waited long enough," and the Peregrine would go on its way. She knew what he could do, she'd pick up on that. Because she was an Olra'en.