Private Thirty Pieces of Silver

[Amani Serys]

Kashyyyk
Sundown​

Austere white walls and floors greyed under dimming light. The room was almost as empty as the silence itself. But it had only been a day since Amani returned from the Sith Empire with Grandmaster in tow, and her thoughts were far from silent.

Their ship made a rough landing a ways outside of Silver Rest grounds, and it wasn’t long before a team was sent to intercept. The barely functional ship, and its equally dysfunctional escapees were recovered, and since they were separated Amani had yet to see the Grandmaster.

Then again, she hadn’t seen much of anything since she got back. Given her injuries, Amani was placed in the Halls of Healing for monitoring and, for likely more than a few reasons, was not permitted to leave. It didn’t take a genius to figure that there was a scramble to put everything together. Only a matter of time until someone comes to investigate what happened. She already knew who was going to show up first, and it wasn’t any kind of authority either.

“Hold still, please.” The medical droid requested before shining a bright light into Amani’s right eye. EmTee had long awaited for her return, but by now his initial simulation of joy had taken a backseat so he could perform his duties. “Do you remember what caused this?”

She shrugged, “Not really. It all happened pretty fast.” Amani’s voice was dry and monotone, the mirialan far too exhausted to put much effort into anything right now. Even in spite of the sensitivity of her eye, the light created little reaction on her part. “Somewhere in the scuffle, one of the guards hit me in the eye, that’s it.” Some parts of that night felt like a blur, others she could remember in perfect detail.

The bulb clicked off and EmTee stepped away to the counter, leaving her to her thoughts. Amani’s gaze shifted to her reflection in the mirror. It didn’t seem like her. Like a different person. Dissociation? She stopped herself from any further diagnosis. The eye in question, her right, was bruised, the sclera stained almost entirely red by broken blood vessels. The droid returned and began to wrap a bandage around her head.

“Your eye should heal in time, but for now you should keep it covered to prevent further damage.” He affirmed, patching it over with the bandage and taking a step back. “You also have a blaster wound in your waist, and multiple bruises, abrasions, and minor cuts across, well, most of you. And your right hand is also suffering from breaks of the third and fourth metacarpal bones. Your left arm seems surprisingly uninjured.”

Amani shifted uncomfortably at the mention. Not even EmTee had been made aware of the origin of her latest organic limb. In reality it had in fact suffered injuries of its own, the alchemized arm was just as weak to physical trauma as a normal one, though its additional feature as a Force conduit meant it was rather easy to heal away, provided damage was not significant. That was the last thing she did before she stopped feeling the Force. More of an instinctual act, but it still left a pit in her stomach. Something about giving up its last use for a selfish purpose bothered her almost as much as losing it in the first place. Almost.

Amani gave EmTee a gloomy look, and he didn’t push the curiosity any further. “That about covers everything for now. Shall I offer visitors access?”

“Visitors?”

“That is correct.”

No.

“...Yes… Just one.”

“Very well.”

EmTee moved to the door, and Amani paused as she wrangled with the decision just made. She spoke up again once more, “Thank you, EmTee.” He looked back, the screen that represented his face digitizing into a faint smile before he left, “You’re welcome.”

Was she really ready to see anyone? Absolutely not. But she knew who was going to be first.

And she owed him.

 

[Centin Tillo]

He paced throughout the length of the hallway many times.

Much of the pacing had been spent trying to decide what exactly he’d say when those doors opened. Although, based on the everchanging expressions he wore, it seemed like he hadn’t made much progress.

As the doors began to finally open he even debated just simply leaving. If Risen found out he was here, and by extension she was here, things could get… unpleasant.

EmTee exited the room and all of his contemplation faded into the background. The open door beckoned to him and, despite his initial hesitance, he found himself compelled to enter.

Centin felt an initial shock at the sight of Amani. After their last meeting he had thought that he wouldn’t be likely to see her again for a long time, if ever. Yet here she sat. Then the shock quickly dissipated, only to be replaced by a different type. She looked bad. Like, if he hadn’t found her in medical care he’d think she was already dead-bad.

He was struck most by the bandages that surrounded her eye. It felt reminiscent of when he first saw her mechanical arm and could only wonder how she suffered such a brutal injury. Her arm. The thought caused his eyes to drift and notice that, in fact, she no longer had the mechanical arm he was reminded of.

His eyes grew wide at the sight and he felt a mixture of confusion and fear. How she could acquire that arm, and where it came from, gave him pause. To him it was just another sign of how far she had strayed from the path, how different she must be now. And that worried him.

There was no hope of hiding his surprise as he took a seat across from her and tried to recompose himself.

“So…”

The words trailed off as Centin found himself in the same predicament as in the hallway. His gaze floated to the ground before he finally formulated a question.

“What brings you back?”

 

[Amani Serys]

Centin Tillo​

Amani stayed still as Centin entered the room, her gaze locked onto the floor in front of her even once he had sat down. From the very first word, what little preparation she had planned was thrown out the window. It seemed neither of them quite able to formulate their thoughts as they froze in silence. Finally, Centin broke it again,

“What brings you back?”

Leave it to Centin of all people to immediately put her on the defensive. Amani was taken aback by what he said. What kind of question was that? How was she even supposed to answer it? She scoffed a single, disbelieving laugh before finally looking back at him.

“Is that how we’re going to do this?”

 

[Centin Tillo]

Amani Serys

Her response prodded his usual irritable self to emerge from its shell. His posture became more rigid as he stared back at her. Centin’s temper was unsurprisingly already beginning to flare less than 30 seconds into their conversation. Though, he thought, why shouldn’t I be mad. It’s not like I’m the guilty one here.

“Apparently it is,” he replied curtly. “I just figured we could start there because I didn’t quite know how to say ‘Hey, good to see you, hope you’ve been well since you almost killed me last time we saw each other.’ Something about it just doesn’t roll off the tongue.”

He let out a sigh and tried to steer the conversation into a more neutral territory, though he could sense he’d already struck a nerve.

“So why are you actually here? Not trying to prod, just trying to figure out if I need to be ready to defend myself,” he said sarcastically, unable to resist the opportunity to joke at Amani’s expense.

 

[Amani Serys]

Centin Tillo
​

Centin's shot back formed a pit in her stomach. On one hand, the fact that he dared to bring it up in such a manner was enough to fire her up. On the other, it was the reason she was carrying so much guilt right now in the first place. It was why she owed him.

"Really? What, you think I'm here to finish the job or something?" She spat out, recoiling at her own words as soon as they left her mouth. There was a pause. Amani exhaled before continuing, "Look, Centin. I know you deserve an explanation. And there's a lot to explain. Can we just... stop all the back and forth? For once?" She couldn't hide the irritation in her voice. It was easy to turn the blame on him. He knew all the right buttons to push to get her off track. He knew was he was doing. And Amani was trying to take this seriously.

 

[Centin Tillo]

Amani Serys

"Well I don't know how you could expect no back and forth when it's us two," he took a moment before continuing, "but fine, I'll try."

A myriad of possible topics fluttered through his mind before he decided to start small.

"I heard you were on Voss at the same time we were," he trailed off midsentence. "Probably for the best that we didn't run into each other then." His words didn't contain any malice, instead his thoughts drifted towards the events with Risen and Cato.

"But where were you all the rest of this time?" he asked, refocusing his attention.

It was a question that he'd often wondered about the answer to in the months since Amani's initial disappearance. He'd heard about her being involved with the Sith but it was still hard for him to fully believe, even despite the events on Tython.

 

[Amani Serys]

Centin Tillo​

Amani sighed, content with Centin's assurance that he would at least make an attempt.

The mention of Voss resurfaced old wounds. It was the only time she was forced to fight another Jedi. At least, after having joined the Empire, that is. "That was my first task. Defending Voss. Guess that didn't really work out, huh? Can't say I'm upset about how it ended though." There was the faintest hint of optimism in her tone. It was hard enough being made to work for the opposite side, so any time she "lost", she considered it a much needed win.

"Uh..." Amani rubbed her hands together, passing over the splint on her fingers. It was strange, just how hard it was to remember where the time went. "I spent most of my work effort in various labs. Conducting small-scale research, nothing big. They'd never let me around anything too confidential." She wasn't sure how to feel about it now. At the time, she craved connections, sociality. Being regarded with near-constant suspicion by everyone around her, and knowing full well that everyone she cared about before probably hated her, left Amani truly isolated.

"Alchemy, mostly. That's where I focused myself." Her eyes darted down to her left arm. "I felt like... I could actually do something good with it. It has real world applications. I-" She cut herself off. Justifying the worldview that kept her going felt gross now. She was tired to trying to do it.

 

[Centin Tillo]

Amani Serys

Her talk of loss reminded him of the dire straits the group had found themselves in. But she was right, in the end things had worked out.

“Yea Voss was… something. Some of our people got hurt pretty bad.” He immediately clarified, sensing the worry the phrase could cause without context. “Not me though, I was fine. I got bruised a little in a fight and then got captured. Thankfully the others weren’t too far away and saved us.”

He cocked his head at the mention of labs. It wasn’t something he heard in the context of Sith often and whenever he did the results always caused him discomfort. Her reassurance of her work quelled his anxiety until she expressly stated it.

Alchemy.

Her justification fit everything he knew to be true of Amani but he couldn’t help pressing further, wondering what she had actually participated in.

“When you say small scale, what do you mean exactly?”

 

[Amani Serys]

Centin Tillo
​

Centin was right to suspect that what he said would worry her. She gave him the slightest once-over to see if she missed any glaringly obvious damage when he first arrived. Seemingly true to his word, Centin himself didn’t appear too hurt, at least based on her very limited surface-level examination.

Still, knowing others got hurt did little to ease her comfort. It was a fact of war that people got hurt. People died. She knew first hand, after all. Being a medic meant she saw the after effects even when not on the front lines. Amani was desensitized to the gore some time ago. Everything that accompanied it however, she had yet to get used to.

“Um.” That was a loaded question. “I was still learning the ropes for the most part. How to actually use it in the first place. Enhancing weapons, creating poisons, genetic alteration.” She glanced up at Centin, quickly trying to reassure him, “I-I never actually implemented most of those things, okay?"

How she was going to describe it without sounding like a mad scientist was beyond her now. Amani resigned to just telling him how it was. “But, alchemy can be used regeneratively, too. I thought it could help people. That it could help… me.” She raised her left arm up to look at it. Amani may not have said it outright, but the line of thinking was likely enough that Centin could pick up on what she wanted to admit but was too afraid to say. Her arm was cloned, enhanced by the art of alchemy to be more than a mere replica. It may have been free of the dark side’s stench, but it wasn’t any easier to admit. Nor was the next part.

“The dead, too. But I was never even close to figuring that out.”

 

[Centin Tillo]

Amani Serys

He could only imagine the things she was talking about. Poisons, genetic alteration… it all sounded so alien compared to their usual way of life. Her clarification did lessen his concern, but only just slightly.

Even if she hadn’t used those things, her involvement in that sort of thing didn’t sit right with him. Centin looked at Amani and noticed how different she seemed. Her actions, both on Tython and while she was gone, made him realize he didn’t know her as well as he’d like to have thought.

She showed her arm and confirmed its origin, only further cementing his doubt.

“Seems like it did help you. And I’m glad that you got what you wanted.” The sentiment was genuine despite his distaste for the practice. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from continuing. “But I can’t help but wonder what cost it came with.”

Then Amani’s mention of raising the dead signaled the end of any chance at a calm dialogue. He couldn’t fathom that she would’ve even considered trying to learn such a dark practice.

“The dead?! Shavit Amani, what were you thinking?” He stood up from his chair and began to pace around the edges of the room. “You know I’m not one to listen to what I’m told but I mean… there’s a reason that stuff is forbidden!”

 

[Amani Serys]

Centin Tillo​

She‌ ‌should’ve‌ ‌figured‌ ‌it‌ ‌would‌ ‌get‌ ‌that‌ ‌kind‌ ‌of‌ ‌response.‌ ‌But‌ ‌his‌ ‌sudden‌ ‌outburst‌ ‌did‌ ‌little‌ ‌to‌ ‌ease‌ ‌the‌ ‌tension,‌ ‌and‌ ‌struck‌ ‌a‌ ‌particular‌ ‌nerve‌ ‌with‌ ‌the‌ ‌Mirialan.‌ ‌

“Don’t.”‌ ‌

Amani‌ ‌stood‌ ‌up‌ ‌after‌ ‌him.‌ ‌

“You‌ ‌have‌ ‌no‌ ‌idea,‌ ‌what‌ ‌I’ve‌ ‌been‌ ‌through.”‌ ‌Her‌ ‌voice‌ ‌shook,‌ ‌“The‌ ‌mistakes‌ ‌I’ve‌ ‌made.‌ ‌What‌ ‌it’s‌ ‌cost.”‌ ‌

 

[Centin Tillo]

Amani Serys

"What do you mean "don't?" Don't be honest because it's going to hurt your feelings?"

He glared at her now, all of the emotions he had pent up these past months finally bursting through the dam.

"You're right, I don't know what you've been through." Centin gritted his teeth at the thought of all the things she was telling him she'd done, all the things he'd heard in her absence.

"That's only because you didn't let me. Instead you were selfish, and you ran, and people got hurt." As the words left his mouth he knew they would cut deep, maybe deeper than he intended. But they weren't wrong.

"Don't look for pity from me, Amani. You're not going to find any."

 

[Amani Serys]

Centin Tillo​

"What do you mean "don't?" Don't be honest because it's going to hurt your feelings?"

Amani gave a derisive laugh, “Please, grow up Centin!” But his next words hit much harder, making her physically wince at his assertions. She struck back, her voice rising now.

“You think I don’t know that?! Why do you think I went that far in the first place?! I couldn’t afford risking anyone else, but it still happened anyway!”

Amani took a breath, running her hands through her air and trying to stop the rising tension to no avail, turning back to face him once more, “I couldn’t live with that, Centin.” She stepped forward, prodding him in the chest with an accusatory finger. "And I don't want you're pity. You've never pitied a damn thing in your life."

 

[Centin Tillo]

Amani Serys

“Grow up.”

Yet again, here she was treating him as if he was a child who needed scolding. He hated when she did that.

He knocked her hand away as she prodded his chest and walked closer to the door.

“You’re right, I can see you don’t need my pity. You’re already wallowing deep enough in your own.”

Centin raised a hand to the door panel and activated it. He moved into the open doorway and hesitated for a moment, unsure if he entirely wanted to leave.

 

[Amani Serys]

Centin Tillo​

She stared in disbelief as he knocked her hand away and went to leave, swiveling around to face him. A long, silent pause lingered between them before Amani spoke, her voice quieted once again.

“I never wanted any of this, Centin. On Tython, I lost control. I couldn’t see what the dark side was really doing to me. But I did it because I thought it could fix things. Mistakes that were too far gone to just take back. If I told you, it would’ve only put you at greater risk.”

Tears welled up in her eyes, threatening to spill out as she recounted the series of events in her head, “Tarish is dead because of that exact reason.” It was clear it weighed heavy on her conscience. It wasn’t supposed to be about trading lives. The pain was only furthered knowing that without his sacrifice she would have failed. In a way it was necessary. Inevitable. And that inevitability was what she was afraid of. “I don’t know what to think anymore.”

The ends justifying the means were what kept her going in that dark time. Now it just made everything messier. She succeeded, but the cost was pyrrhic. Amani crossed her arms and looked at him expectantly. She wanted to give him the answers he came for, but if he left now, she feared it would be too late to fix things. One more failure in the wake of these events.