Throw Fear in the Trash (Wraith)

[Yasha Cadera]

Most of the time being a High Councillor of the Fringe is filled with meetings, meetings, meetings, military engagements and the ephemera of public life. Back in the pilot's seat as it were, I'm jogging down the stairs at The Pit feeling outward for my brand new student [member="Wraith Draigar"]. I've heard a bit about the kid, had one of my XO's do good old fashioned research in an attempt to see if I'm taking on a crazy one or a swell studie like [member="Marselia Urstalis"].

The kid's got troubles. Yet, as a happy and adapt-y healer like myself it's my kind of trouble and my kind of trauma to help correct. If Wraith follows my ways, he'll be right as a spring rain. My trusty SC1 Battle Droid bodyguard Bucket is trotting along beside me, wearing his spiffy new hat and generally being a cool dude. It's paid back what Jared paid into the droid to get Bucket its very own adaptive artificially intelligent android brain.

Bucket today has taken out two more of my beloved droids: Two Echani Mimic Battle Units named Tyr and Tus. I call them the T-twins and my favourite part of having them in the team is seeing their antics while they play video games and 'train'. Regardless, I hop into the middle of a training area and claim it for my own today and for my new student. I reach out in the Force, tap-tap-tapping at his perceptions and knocking on his mental door.

'Step one, newbie. Come find me.' A projection of my trouser and leather speeder bike jacket clad self froths into existence in front of the guy, then fades with a soft trail.

If he concentrates on the unique signature I emanate in the Force, he'll be led here soon enough. If he doesn't? Guess he'll need the remedial class.

​I might have some safety scissors and a pot of glitter in my ship.

 

[RC 212]

[member="Anders Sivas"]

Wraith watched the figure dissapaer into the mist and contemplated the message. It was interesting here in the Fringe. There was not much up front to the ey but so much beneath the surface. So many worlds and things to explore.

Neverhteless the challenge had been laid out to him. As a novice force user and one that preferred the applications of the force over the saber he had an acute focus and attunement to it.

Closing his eyes the brown haired Dark Jedi reached out with his senses casting a net of light energy. He could follow the trail of the essence but not quite grasp it. The way was laid out before him but the identity was not.

His teacher was adept at concealing herself whether she tried or not.

He followed the trail, eyes still closed and trusting in his instincts. The brown cloak trailed behind him in the wind as he put one boot in front of the other, following the direction he sensed his quarry was in.

 

[Yasha Cadera]

'Over here'​

'Now over here'

'No up here'​

'Find me yet?'​

'You can do it. Focus on the sensation of my aura. Getting lost in illusion is far too easy. Find me.'

'Find me'​

'Find me'

The mental projections and the telepathic words hit [member="Wraith Draigar"] from multiple directions, but one is more authentic than the others. A whisper in the breath of the authentic voice hits not with the hammer of power, but the velvet glove of restraint and wonder - a childlike joy in the all consuming illumination of the Force.

This is where I reside. I stay firmly in the Force's joy as I've had enough of heartache. The images projected each appear a smidgen off. Whether it's the nose or the cheekbones, or the masculine shoulders in one replaced with the feminine hips of another I keep him as I keep everyone: Guessing.

The Fringe's Military Affairs Minister and Androgyny expert is still waiting, but I feel him coming closer for the effort. I wonder about this new soul. What lies in store for Wraith? I could check, peer into future gleanings for a fragment of clearer vision. . . but that would be cheating. My shoulder length hair hangs around my face, I keep my appearance fluid enough to strike a person guessing.

Gender is a construct I play with like younglings play with coloured building blocks. It's fun to watch them tumble down.

"Over here, Wraith. Feel me out. To find another is to find oneself. You need to know who and what you are as an anchor. Take a deep breath, seek your inner self and love it. For all its faults and all its fears. Love it. And then, find me."

 

[RC 212]

[member="Anders Sivas"]

Wraiths thoughts stopped as the barrage of directions and images hit him. This was crazy was this a man or woman? He still couldn’t tell, all he could feel was that one was stronger than the next so he started mentally eliminating the signatures one by one until the strongest remained and he moved in that direction.

Love himself? Wraith was many things but love was an emotion he felt ever. He was part darkness and mostly light but still certain subtle feeling like that seemed to elude him. A flash of anger rose up and frustration boiled hi blood briefly. The caged dragon within roared, yearning to be let free.

But it was no use, Wraith pushed it back, focusing on the good memories of days past. Still he walked one boot in front of the other coming closer to the voice and the location in which he perceived it to be.

 

[Yasha Cadera]

And there it is, folks. [member="Wraith Draigar"]'s trick knee or fatal flaw as it were. I get the sensation that he doesn't know what love feels like. And self-love? Compassion regarding oneself? If he's felt it he was five.

Now I know how to teach him. And what his greatest lesson will probably be. 'The struggle between extremes is a dangerous and deadly road, not because of the innate struggles but the labels imposed upon those extremes. To learn compassion is to learn the art of healing. There is no separation between healing a physical wound, and healing an emotional scar. The Force is an ever present and ready Mistress, a Master without restraint or pity for those whose falterings cause them to snap between patterns of illumination like a broken elastic chord. There can never be peace between the extremes of the Force as there can never be peace with opposites. . .

but we can learn peace with the opposing forces within ourselves. To be a Force User is to be centred. Without that core, there is no foundation to build upon and no possibility of control.'

I step out from the room and wave at the Padawan. "Found me. C'mon in Wraith. You're learning which strands to tug and which to leave behind. This is good! It's an encouraging thing. Feel proud and come on in."

Encouragement is part of the program. My appearance today is one of the Androgyne. The High Councillor Anders Sivas, a high cheek-bone, dusty blonde shoulder-length haired man-child or so folk think. As I hop back into the room, my three bodyguard droids are spread around. The two EMBU's are guarding the door, their vibroblades out in active salute. Bucket's sitting in the corner cleaning a gun. He tips his new hat at the newcomer and goes back to cleaning.

"What do you want out of the Force? What do you want the Force to do for you?"

 

[RC 212]

[member="Anders Sivas"]

Wraith looked at Anders with a quizzical look. She or he was an interesting person, a mix of many things.

What did he want out of the force? There was so much but where to begin.

"I guess I'd have to explain myself first. I fight and follow ancient traditions of a time before the old republic even."

Wraith took a seat cross legged and removed his hood, revealing his boyish features. Brown eyes and a mess of brown hair. His tunic was dirty and his robes were tattered from roaming many a planet in search of something greater.

"You could call me a jedi or a Sith but I am neither. I am akin to force warrior of old or a monk as some call them. I prefer application over the blade and balance."

Wraith paused and then continued gathering his thoughts.

"Though the problem lies in the balance. More often than not it's more towards the dark than the light."

 

[Yasha Cadera]

The best for Wraith right now is probably my listening ears. My natural empathy coaxes around him as it does everyone, I glean emotions from the man but I don't have a telepathic line to his subconscious. I feel the conflict, the anger and the frustration and I take a deep breath and expel them from my own subconscious before they take root.

"Why'd you think I chose you, honey? I might have a Jedi for a Master but I'm not one." I hold up both hands and flip them back and forth. "No blade's successfully ended up in these hands. There are so many creative ways of applying the Force then battering people with a glowstick of doom."

I glance deep into [member="Wraith Draigar"]'s face with my bright hazel eyes and my lips quirk up in a sympathetic smile. "Could use some spring cleaning in those eyes of yours. Your soul too. Getting a little heavy, there Wraith. Let me help you with that. Dark, Light, they're misnomers. It's not about the lack or wealth of illumination it's about where you get your energy. Is it peace or passion? Meditation, battle, healing, sensing, having a mix of where you get your energy is also okay. Alright? Playing between those energy sources is ok. Don't struggle over it. Let the energy come where you can. Does that make sense? Any skills you want to learn in particular?"

 

[RC 212]

[member="Anders Sivas"]

Wraith nodded he knew of what she spoke. So far he was able to contain the angry emotions and cage them, calling upon them only in battle but he struggled balancing them all. Each had a purpose and a place in his life. Unfortunately the emotions of battle carried over more often than those of peace.

"Healing and Force Protection. Fighting unarmed is dangerous in itself nevermind against a force user with a saber. I need the ability to protect myself, but I also want to help others. For that is the way of the monk."

 

[Yasha Cadera]

"Healing, Force Protection, helping yourself and others. . . there are some things you're going to need but I can teach them to you. First off. Get comfy."

I plunk down on the ground and put my hands on my knees, blowing the hair out of my face. "Healing is a very, very, very, very Light Side technique. To heal someone takes grace. Prepare yourself in case it's difficult. If it is? We'll move to something else, like Tutaminis, which will be integral in defending yourself and others against opponents with lightsabers and energy weapons of any kind."

I pull an Irli fruit out of my jacket pocket and a pocket knife in my other hand. I stab at the fruit until its juices and pulp start smearing over my fingers. "In order to heal a living thing, I need to know myself. I am ambiguous by nature. A child of Naboo. Misdirection, intrigue, pantomime are in my blood. This ambiguity gives me a certain penchant for neutrality. I'm comfortable with that now. As you will be in the future. If not rectified, you will be comfortable with the twists and bends." As I talk, the fruit's juices move back up my wrist, hand and fingers and back into the fruit.

It binds back together until Wraith wouldn't be able to find the incision if he tried with a fine tooth comb and the magnifying glass of a jeweller. I toss it to him.

"Here. Like you did when you looked for me, put your outward senses toward the fruit. Tell me what it tastes like, feels like all of it without tasting it. Once you get your head around what an Irli should be, then you'll know how to fix it right again."

 

[RC 212]

[member="Anders Sivas"]

Wraith caught the fruit in his crushgaunt clad hands taking care not to smash it to a pulp as he reached out and snatched it. He held it between two of the massive crushgaunt fingers and studied it in depth.

He felt its signature, gleaming it's mystery's. He could almost feel the energy of the knife that had pierced it. To him the fruit appeared living as if freshly picked but was slowly dying because it was not on it's roots.

"You killed you know, by picking it."

He looked back at her after examining it. It was not much unlike imbuing and item with the force.

"So I know the fruit, but how do I really know that I've known the fruit."

 

[Yasha Cadera]

"That's an incredibly pessimistic view of life." I smile and shake my head. Is that how the worlds of our galaxy are seen by some? Getting hung up on semantics and dying fruit is like getting hung up on a rainbow for calling the moisture in the atmosphere.

"Your uncertainty will continue to form you in a ragged doppelgänger if you don't address it, [member="Wraith Draigar"]. You call yourself an aspiring monk and yet you fight every moment the Force gives you. I'm not interested in the pains that brought you here. Your concentration is on too narrow a field of focus. Of course I know it's a dying fruit. I'm not a plebeian and I'm certainly not new at this. I'm a healer, Wraith. I take the dying and I fix it. Give it new life, more life than it would have had.

What if I told you that fruit was picked seven standard months ago on Echan, eh? What if I told you I've been keeping it fresh for nearly eight months? Does it mean it's no longer dying? No. But it got more life. Look deeper. Discover its' building blocks and the chambers inside, where the pulp lies. I'm giving you a fruit 'cause the next step is this."

The sleeve of my jacket yanks up my arm to the elbow, a slender pale forearm uncovered in the dim light. I take the knife and stab it into my own arm, dragging it up in a two inch deep cut from my wrist to my elbow. Blood oozes and pours from the wound, my pupils dilate, the fingers on that hand curl into an involuntary fist.

And I inhale. And I exhale. And the blood pours backward into the wound, reversing itself back into veins as connective tissues repair and my fingers unfurl before his eyes. I hold up my limb as the knife pops out and the wound covers over, nothing remaining but a faint pink line which too will disappear in days. "Yes, I am this good. It takes most healers a lot longer than this to heal someone. I've got a lifetime of practice in staving off death. To heal a creature is to trust in the intuition in your gut that tells you 'yes, this is right. This is how the creature should function'. If you can't trust that you absolutely know what that sentient being's physiology is supposed to be like whole, you will kill your patient. Or you will maim them for the rest of their lives. Healing is not an easy path, nor is it a wayward one. I have seen Sith healers and they were neither pretty nor was their cost easy to bear. They repair with penalty and pain.

I repair with grace. With respect to the creature I'm folding my will around. With the joy of bringing something or someone back to a state of bliss, a state of rightfulness. So, if you are unsure about the entire make up of the universe, that's ok, you're learning. You're new at this.

But you need to be sure of one thing and one thing only right now. Right now. That Irli. 'Cause the line between thinking you know something and knowing it is not perception, but purpose. Knowing that you, Wraith, can undeniably know. And then trust the Force that in the end it's not you knowing it at all, but the Force acting through you. We are conduits as much as we are our own sentient beings. To heal you must contact the Light.

Try again. Use the sense you have in the Force 'cause I know you have it, otherwise you wouldn't have been able to find me. And when you think you know it, release that knowledge upward to the Light, then we will act and you will put that fruit back together."

 

[RC 212]

[member="Anders Sivas"]

Wraith took the fruit back and nodded.

Again with the force he reached out and let it surround the fruit. He discenred it's taste. The history of the fruit, where it came from and how it was raised.

The garden was lush. Many gadeners came to water and prune the tree that I grew on. I was the first fruit to bloom. I was amazing a true specimen. As the plumpest it was decided I would be picked. I felt the strong smooth hands of the garners snatch me from my perch, thinking it was time to be consumed.

But then something else happened. I was still alive. A being of great power kept and preserved me.
Now I have felt your hands and know that another great power holds me. Will you let me die?

Wraith shuddered at the thought and dropped the fruit.

"It is alive, It speaks to me. I know it came from a garden, which garden?"

 

[Yasha Cadera]

I reach out and catch the fruit. It hums in my fingers, I hold it for a few long minutes and watch Wraith's reaction. The Force manifests in multiple ways to multiple people, to me it sings of emotions and interconnection. To Wraith? It's the story it seems. A personal event. "The garden was on Echan and I got it in a basket on my last trip. A gift to help sustain me on my way. You know it well enough now to feel it's story. So heal it."

I hold up the knife, knicking the skin. "Return it to the garden. For an Irli as with a person, healing is about returning them physically to a time of plenty and perfection. No person is perfect. We get close enough."[member="Wraith Draigar"]