Private Tomorrow's Goodbye (Kyra Perl & Acaadi)

[Caedyn Arenais]

The Silver Rest, Kashyyyk.
Kyra Perl & Acaadi

​

A new day had begun and like usual, Caedyn Arenais had awoken bright and early, ready to begin a new round of training routines with his Padawan, Kyra Perl . The young Zeltron Girl hadn't exactly taken to his routines with the greatest sense of enthusiasm, expecting her ready for training by six in the morning every second day, where they would go through the motions until the evenings meal was on the cafeteria table and she'd then be free to do as she pleased. This was the pattern every second day, where those days in between would be the normal six hour daily run of classes and study.

As he waited outside of their usual training room for saber combat, that of which she clearly preferred over most other subjects and exercises, Caedyn found himself eyeing his chronometer and feeling a sense of dissatisfaction coming over him. She was running late, and not just by a few minutes but this far Caedyn had waited twenty before deciding he wasn't going to waste any time where they could've been well and truly started by now. Instead, he decided to make his way towards the student dormitories...

They had been making progress lately, yet there always seemed to be something that sprang about just when the Jedi Knight was becoming hopeful. Kyra was a gifted young woman, one with a lot of potential and yet seemingly unmotivated. She had dreams and aspirations yet struggled to find the incentive needed to work for them. The more time they were spending getting to know one another, the more roadblocks he seemed to be running into; And while he never expected it to come easily, there seemed to be a frustrating sense of 'one step forward and two steps back'.

It was difficult to ignore the burning expectation and need to lecture her, yet imagining such things would only give rise to his frustration and likely make matters worse. She was a sensitive girl and one Caedyn cared, to want to help see her progress. So as he found himself face to face with her door, the dorm number staring back at him, he gave pause. "Self-reflection, evaluate the situation and rise above the need to act emotionally" he whispered to himself, as if talking sense into himself, taking a moment to calm his mind before knocking to announce himself and entering.

 

[Acaadi]

Caedyn Arenais would see a flash of pink and green skin from the bed, quickly enveloped in a rolling wave of the quilt being thrown over them.

In the darkness, Acaadi urgently hissed to Kyra: "There's a man in your doorway!" The time had gotten away from them but there had been very little time between the knocking and the door opening.

The previous day had started in a bleak way. He was still struggling with the events of Ziugen. He had felt resentful that Kyra hadn't visited him once during his time in hospital.

It was fair to say that the day had not ended in the way he had expected.

 

[Kyra Perl]

Adrenaline spiked through Kyra, more poignant than coffee. "Chit," she breathed, her whole body tense. She jammed her face into her hands, rubbing desperately at her hair. For a moment Kyra couldn't fathom what Caedyn, her new master, was doing barraging into her room. Did he have no decency? It was 6:30 in the morning!

Oh.

Oh right, it was.

'Shh. Sh-sh-," she hissed at Acaadi, rolling over and poking her head back out. "H-uh?" She uttered, letting her earlier exhaustion peel back into her voice. She squinted, the bright light of the hall spilling in and framing against Caedyn's shadowed front. "Wh-What are you doing?" She declared, indignation ringing through her tone.

"You can't let yourself in here! I'm sleeping-- I'm not dressed!" She declared, holding the blanket tight to her as she sat up. Acaadi's form grew that much harder to see, her knees pulling up to make a canopy. Her cheeks flushed a vibrant red. It wasn't hard to balk in embarrassment, her voice going shrill.

"Out! Get out!" She took a pillow and chucked it at him, hoping that in the chaos, he just wouldn't notice.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

If there were words to sum up a situation such as this, without resorting to cussing, Caedyn couldn't think of any. He had knocked, announced himself and yet had clearly gone amiss. Something was thrown at him, along with some heated words before Caedyn had backed out and closed the door behind him, trying to process what had happened.

"Shit..." He muttered under his breath, lifting his head and eyes closed, shaking it slowly in disbelief. It was one of those 'I've made a huge mistake' moments, and it was sure to set them back in the progress that had been made thus far.

With his back to the door however, he paused as realization hit him. Caedyn could've sworn that there was a second voice in the room, another presence not of Kyra's own. 'Blast it all, I can't walk away now' he thought to himself with no small amount of embarrassment. Asaraa Vaashe would be rolling in a fit of laughter at his expense were she still around the Silver Rest right about now.

"You're late, I'll be waiting outside" Caedyn called so that his Padawan would know that he wasn't going anywhere. No matter how badly they likely both wished this not be the case.

'Self reflection my ass...'.

Kyra Perl | Acaadi​

 

[Acaadi]

A grimace of embarrassment was etched into his face, even as he curled as small as he could beneath the blanket. Still breathing heavily he found the air warmer by the second beneath the covers. He stayed there until he heard the door closed, then counted three more before emerging to the pleasantly cool air.

"He's staying there!?" he whispered as quietly as he dared. The sound of a man's voice was certain to carry through the door if he spoke up.

He was supposed to be in the hospital where he was continuing to receive physiotherapy and regular doses of painkillers as his body finished the healing on its own.

"You have a lesson?" His eyes sought out the clock. Jedi training usually started early and they had not been paying much attention to the time.

 

[Kyra Perl]

Jedi training usually started early, but not this early! Kyra scattered up, leaving him to the dust as she scampered across her cold floor and JAMMED the door lock in place. She leaned against its frame, panting wildly.

Her eyes slowly readjusted to the dim morning light. She grabbed her discarded robe and shoved it on, tip-toeing back to Acaadi's side. "It's a bit of a long story," she hissed, shoving around the blankets for yesterday's shocks. "He's my, um, Master. I got one while you were-" her wild gestures were lost to the dark. Tears pricked in her eyes. She sat down and let her head bury into her hands.

"I didn't really have a choice," she informed him, her voice flush with embarrassment. It wasn't that she regretted where last night went, it was just- well- Kyra held a lot of shame over her heritage.

"What am I going to saaaaaaaaay? Do you think he noticed? Quickly-- hide under the bed!"

 

[Acaadi]

Acaadi reached out slowly and placed a hand on her forearm. He could feel the string of emotions and the story they told. They hadn't even had the chance to talk much about things. They had formed an understanding with very few words.

"He might have done, but I expect he'll be too embarrassed to ask?" Acaadi said. Not that he had any basis for it.

"Will it look worse if I hide and he already knows?"

 

[Kyra Perl]

Acaadi had a point there. The world tended to respond to you the way in the same manner you treated it. Acting like she had something to be ashamed over would get that very response back. But owning it? Raising her chin high? Confidence shut a lot of people up. But she wasn't ready for that. She didn't want that!

This was just mean to be between them.

Still, Acaadi was right. If Caedyn knew, then perhaps he was feeling just as red faced as them. Could they make him feel awkward enough not to utter a word? At the end of the day, she wasn't the only one sitting on the bed. Acaadi's emotions flickered over to her, reminding her that this was his experience too.

"What should we do?" She asked him, voice tight as she let him get a say.

 

[Acaadi]

He didn't want her first attempt at an explanation to be to her new mentor. He wanted them to work that out between them. Acaadi realised that he wasn't even sure how he would go about putting what was going on into words. It was far easier to just...be.

"I get dressed but get out of sight of the door and you go to it? If he asks explain I stayed late to watch a film but didn't feel well enough to go back?" he whispered.

It wasn't a lie. It wasn't a full explanation.

It also didn't involve rushing to squeeze under her bed in his birthday suit when he genuinely was still sore.

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra only considered for a moment before relenting. "Ok. Ok, ok. Ok." She let out a shaky breath, then flicked on the light and stood. Without looking at him she helped him retrieve his things. While he dressed, she scrambled to shove on shoes and belt and-- oh, right. Her saber! These morning sessions really needed to be moved later. Once oriented she nodded at him to duck deeper in.

A deep breath.

A nudge of the force to turn back off the light.

She pulled the lock, dipping her head out. "You know you really shouldn't barge into places." She slid her body out, latching it tightly behind her. "S'rude," she huffed. Her hair stuck up wildly. A shoe was untied. She raised her chin to him to bare down his unknown response, apprehension lingering behind the cool demeanor she tried to put up.

"Shall we go then or do you wanna yell at me here?"

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

Apprehensive wasn't quite the word to explain in full, quite how Caedyn was feeling as he stood out in the corridor leaning back against the far wall facing the Student Dormitories. He had stepped away out of consideration for how it might look to his Padawan once she were to leave the comfort of her room, Caedyn expecting that Kyra might assume that he had been listening in.

The situation was not what he had in mind for today's start, and trying to wrap his head around it all, he had to prioritize the facts of the matter at hand. He had walked in on his Padawan, whom had company in her bed. Blast it all, this was not the sort of thing he had prepared for. As most might do, Caedyn had imagined such a pairing long before he had been ready for it; He had always hoped that he'd end up with a student who valued their journey, a mentor-ship and were motivated. Days like today on the other had provided challenges that he'd never considered, it was the sort of experience he'd associate with his Parents having had to do with over Caedyn or his Sister Loreena Arenais-Valhoun ...

"Shall we go then or do you wanna yell at me here?".
​

Caedyn didn't respond directly, atleast not straight away. Kyra didn't look at all prepared for a training session, and...-As he company was nowhere to be seen, they obviously wished to hide it from him. Granted it wasn't the best turnout on either side of the approach, yet he himself was twenty-four and it didn't feel like it had been so long ago that he had been sneaking Asaraa out of the student dorms...

It was awkward, there was no denying that neither of them wished to address the situation. The problem wasn't the fact that it had happened however, but more Caedyn's concern knowing that it would likely continue and whether or not they were being responsible...-As much so as Teenagers could be. 'What a mess'...

"S'there anything you want to tell me?" he asked her, though by his tone she'd probably hear that it was less a question and more an expectation.

Kyra Perl | Acaadi​

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra could feel his disappointment. His frustration. He wished for anyone but her, it radiated clear through the air in their disoriented state.

She took a step back, her confidence vanishing. "I, um. No... okay maybe... You told me to stay with a friendddd. You ordered it. I diiiiiiiid. And you really wanted me to see Acaaaaaaaaaaadddi.... remember.... so I... did... but it got laaaaaaate.... and he didn't feel well. So instead of walking allllll the way to the healing halls he slept here, cause the movie wasn't done and... we ...fell asleep?" She slid her sleeves down, covering her hands with them as she stared with blurry vision at the ground. “I forgot to set my alarm.”

If her eyes were laser beams she could cut a path through the floor and fall forever.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

Disappointment, Caedyn wasn't entirely decided on that front. Frustrated, that was an accurate statement; yet he did not wish for anyone else. Kyra Perl was his Padawan and Caedyn had given her his word, he had committed to the partnership and had come to care for her in a protective sense. Did she frustrate him? Absolutely, but at no risk of their continued relationship as Master and Padawan. Furthermore, upon taking up such a responsibility, the Jedi Knight placed far more value and importance on such a commitment than to simply change his mind when things proved more difficult than anticipated. He wasn't the type to be scared off easily.

And then she answered him, reluctantly confirming his suspicion and giving a name to the presence that Caedyn had picked up on earlier. She'd been putting in such an effort to avoid her friends or any interaction at all with others in general that this had been far from what he'd expected, yet when she mentioned Acaadi and reminded Caedyn that he had in-fact encouraged her to seek him out, find closure in communion with him following the incident, part of him wanted to be understanding...-It was just too damn difficult not to look further into it, and feel need to be concerned about what she wasn't telling him.

"I was under the impression he wasn't expected to be discharged from medical care for another week or so..." Caedyn responded in a rather 'matter-of-fact' approach. It just felt easier to refer to what he had known for a certainty rather than fall back on his suspicions that would probably lead to some form of polite accusation, countered by the young woman's complaints. Between the two of them, the only one to have ever done any yelling was his Padawan, incidentally.

"When I suggested that you spend some time with him, I didn't mean..." He paused, doing his best not to refer to the bedroom specifically; "Overnight..". It was difficult to know the right course of action here, the correct approach as her Jedi Mentor. Caedyn was her legal guardian, a certain level of responsibility and authority being given to him since becoming her Master, yet he didn't like the idea of sounding as though he were in a position to judge who she spent time with and so on. Nor was he certain that was even a Mentor's place to dictate...

The whole affair made him turn inside.

 

[Acaadi]

Acaadi was feeling distinctly uncomfortable too. He could feel Kyra struggling under the very sudden and embarrassing shift in circumstances.

He wished that he had some way to make it right. Having heard his name through the door he realised that they had moved on to some kind of discussion about his presence.

Standing in a dark room, listening to Kyra and her master talking about this outside and all the while his pain ebbing back in was no how he had expected this day to start. Fair to say there had been some ups and downs in his immediate past.

Not feeling brave enough to step outside he merely reached out towards Kyra, trying to project just a little reassurance.

 

[Kyra Perl]

"I was under the impression he wasn't expected to be discharged from medical care for another week or so..."

"When I suggested that you spend some time with him, I didn't mean..." He paused, doing his best not to refer to the bedroom specifically; "Overnight.."

"Weeeeeeeeeell, you didn't specify, so..." The 'that's on you' dodge hung in the air, Kyra scuffing her feet on the ground as she lept through loop hole after loop hole. Her cheeks were inflamed red. She decided in that moment that she wouldn't clarify that she had broken out of the hospital ward. Or that he was in her room, hurting for it. The alcohol had helped to distract him...

Just sometimes being with others was better for ones recovery than being left to it.

"I couldn't leave him there," she explained, her voice going tight.

Caedyn couldn't understand the depth of those words, or pain they brought in her. He couldn't know the trauma of watching Acaadi be tortured, he couldn't know the nightmare of being forced to leave him behind. She couldn't repeat the process with Acaadi again, not in his current state.

Never mind the fact that she had broken him from a hospital ward and not a torture chamber. They were teenagers, they dealt with it the best they could.

Acaadi's reassurance filled her. She straightened, finally managing to look at Caedyn, who looked as uncomfortable as her. He knew. Oh. He knew. She crumbled in utter shame, braced for the judgement. The comments.

She was just another Zeltron.

Here we go.

"Listen-okay-It'snotwhatitlookslike."

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"It'snotwhatitlookslike".​

"Oh it probably is..." Caedyn replied reluctantly, though he wasn't even thinking about her Zeltron background. Truth be told, Caedyn didn't have a lot of history with the people of Zeltros, and their 'reputation' wasn't something he was familiar with as he had always done his best to avoid rumors, instead judging from his own personal experience with others. What this looked like? It was plainly obvious, but in the sense of a pair of teenagers going through what all teenagers went through...-Just, in a really awkward way in which he was unfortunately involved.

Caedyn poised himself, glancing back towards Kyra's dorm room in consideration. His first instinct was that he wanted to prove to his Padawan that he wasn't the grumpy old bastard she thought he was, as well as to talk with them both in a way that would be reassuring, to cater to their situation and concerns if they had any...-Yet he didn't expect that his Padawan would think kindly upon the offer, no matter how good his intentions might be.

"I think perhaps we should give today a miss..." Caedyn soon remarked, feeling that Kyra would prefer him to distance himself from the situation rather than trying to be there for them like he felt inclined to do. It was a matter of finding that balance between the professional and the personal relationship with one's student and this was something that he seemed to be having to learn by being thrust in head first, so to speak.

Glancing back to Kyra, Caedyn gave her something of an uncomfortable and concerned frown; Brows furrowing and his mouth twisting some as he wondered what further he could do or say. "I think it's safe to say neither of us planned for this...-Just..." He paused once more, his left hand subconsciously raising to rub at the side of his neck, "Be safe..." He concluded, with a little more emphasis on his last words.

She'd no doubt understand his meaning.

Kyra Perl | Acaadi​

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra's eyes bulged, her skin now the perfect rendition of her mother's subdued pink. Hooooooooooo boy if she could have melted to the ground she would have. Things were a mess, and she frankly lacked any clue how to go about it. This was not how a girl envisioned her first time panning out, and the simple derailing of it was enough to bring a wash of confused tears to her eyes.

What had felt right now felt wrong. As Caedyn turned away, she was filled with a wave of anxiety of what he must think of her, and what would come next. It very easily felt like her world had come crumbling down in that moment, the emotions from her abduction joining in to leave behind a very broken padawan.

With no words, she slipped back into her room. A sob hitched in her throat as she locked them in. Her gaze caught Acaadi's, full of tears. It would be clear this wasn't simple embarrassment over being caught.

It was everything.

All that she had been shoving back.

The trauma that they endured came rushing forward, her suppressed pain finally finding an outlet. Guess this morning was full of firsts.

 

[Acaadi]

Acaadi had opened the floodgates between them already, exposed himself to a wealth of feelings and sensation. He sudden flurry of feelings almost overwhelmed him. Acaadi knew that this moment would be forever linked to the night. It wasn't something he wanted, but it couldn't be taken back now.

"Come here," he offered, reaching towards her from where he was sat on the foot of the bed. "Tell me what happened?" He knew her master arriving wasn't everything, but it felt like a start.

Acaadi had learned that it was okay for them to lean on one another. It was the same burden they carried. He just wasn't certain how to do that right now. He would start with a hug.

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra crumbled into his arms, her face shoved into his shoulder to hide the tears as she broken down in another sob. There weren't words for her experience-- how could you ever put rock bottom into words? No, her pain was far too complicated. The depths she fell into felt too deep. She clung to him instead, crying out tears that didn't have a name.

Tears for home.

Tears for embarrassment.

Tears for him.

Tears for her failure.

It all grew into one cumulative issues, and a title finally found its way to her lips. Her grip loosened on him as she pulled back slightly a confession falling from her lips.

"I'm not meant to be a jedi."

 

[Acaadi]

The admission struck him rather sharply. Acaadi loosened his grip around Kyra so that he could study her face. The mirialan wasn't certain how to respond to that sudden statement. Kyra had long been struggling in her studies, in keeping to the routine of some of the classes. The atmosphere was somewhat stifling. Even he had become downright bored with their training. Bored in training, but out of his depth in the field. The two didn't seem to go together well.

Were people meant to be a certain thing? He believed they did. Whether it was the Force of fate, he believed there was a place for everyone in the turnings of the universe.

"I think...that you will find something that you are meant to be," he said. "I think you are one of the most talented students I've met and I don't just say that because I want you to stay here. And I do, you know? Want you to stay here. Why don't you think you're meant for this?"

One hand slipped from her her waist and he let it settle on her shoulder, gently stroking it up and down.

Was he even meant for this role? He knew if he started down that line they would spiral down together instead of standing together. What had happened between them wasn't just about those precious memories. It was a shift between them. He felt it, even if he didn't understand it.