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Veldorians [2.0]

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Jason H. Wayne

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J
OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
[SIZE=11pt]GENERAL INFORMATION[/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=11pt]Name: Veldorians [/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=11pt]Designation:Sentient [/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=11pt]Homeworld: Here[/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=11pt]Language: Telepathy [/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=11pt]Average Lifespan: 450 years [/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=11pt]Estimated Population: Planetary (A Large Concentration on a single world or system, rarely found off-world)[/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=11pt]Description: The Veldorians are a near-human race who are intolerant (allergic) to alcohol and intoxicants, except for pheromones. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=11pt]PHYSICAL INFORMATION[/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=11pt]Breathes: Controlled Habitable for human air[/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=11pt]Average height of adults: The average height of the females is about 1.6 m and the average height of the males is about 1.8 m. [/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=11pt]Average length of adults:N/A [/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=11pt]Skin color: The skin color varies, but is usually a solid color and transparent. [/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=11pt]Hair color: The hair color varies, but usually contrasts with the skin color. [/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=11pt]Distinctions: Their skin is a solid color that varies between individuals, as is their hair but it appears to be slightly transparent. [/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=11pt]Races:N/A[/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=11pt]Strengths: [/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=14.6667px]Hive Mind: The Veldorians possess a Hive Mind of sorts that allows them to telepathically communicate, and to share the pain and emotions of each other as well. The Hive Mind is also able to, upon the death of a Veldorian record all the information and knowledge and experiences that the Veldorian had, so that the Veldorians can share the information with each other. [/SIZE]


  • [SIZE=14.6667px]Green Thumbs: The Veldorians are an expert when it comes to bio-engineering, and gardening as well as growing crops, and using such methods to create technology and weapons for themselves. [/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.6667px] [/SIZE]


  • [SIZE=11pt]Weaknesses:[/SIZE]




  • [SIZE=14.6667px]Organic Technology: Organic Technology like what they use can be killed with bio weapons, or pesticides or similar rather easily. [/SIZE]


  • [SIZE=14.6667px]Bad Luck with Non-Organic Machinery: When it comes to operating machinery that is not organic, save for Lightsabers the Veldorians would have problems. These problems could be anything from a blaster misfiring, to a regular starship's engine or shields going down at the worst possible moment for them. In short, with non-organic technology they are useless for the most part. [/SIZE]


  • [SIZE=14.6667px]Distrustful of Force Users: Due to their distrust of most other Force Users, the Veldorians would likely have a harder time learning how to use the abilities of the Force. [/SIZE]



[SIZE=11pt]CULTURE[/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=11pt]Diet: Vegetables, Rice, Meat, a lot of things really. [/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=11pt]Communication: Telepathy [/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=11pt]Technology level: Their technology level is on the high end of the Galactic Standard, even if they don't use conventional technology but instead organic tech. [/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=11pt]Religion/Beliefs: The Veldorians believe the Force is a powerful ability, and usually don't try to touch it unless they need to employ it in their fields of science that they use. They are honorable, and honor the pact that was made with the Narrikians centuries ago. [/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=11pt]General behavior: The Veldorians are a race that is friendly to outsiders, for the most part. They are more curious about outsiders than Narrikians would be, but there is a limit to that. If an outsider even so much as 'jokes' about a bio-weapon, or virulent agent being in their possession, they are likely to attack the outsider with the full might of their military because they don't like such jokes due to what Setus Prime suffered. They are a bit suspicious of most Force Users, but will generally let them be as long as they don't cause trouble. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=11pt]HISTORICAL INFORMATION[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]The Gulag Plague hit the world of Setus Prime particularly hard, and as a result of this nearly all of the Veldorians were wiped out at the time. The Veldorians who had survived were plagued with rotten luck that was making them unable to get anything done for themselves, a mutation that bothered them. Several of them attempted to compensate by changing from mechanical technology to organic technology and learning the sciences of bio-engineering. When the events of the Netherworld happened, the Veldorians were back up to about thirty thousand. Eventually the Veldorians were met by a Narrikian Emperor who had taken over after the events of the Netherworld. A pact was made of sorts. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]The two races would share Setus Prime, and in return the Veldorians would work to create antidotes and vaccines to any biological weapons they could possibly come up with, and supply them to the Narrikians. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=14.6667px] [/SIZE]
 
[member="Jason H. Wayne"]

The Force is the only source of supernatural in the Star Wars universe. Anything that is not accomplished manually or through technology is done through the Force.

As such, you cannot have a species that is able to do all the things you have listed (communicate telepathically, use telekinesis, project energy, form nullification fields, augmentation, etc.) and not be Force Sensitive. Even if they were Force Sensitive, it is wildly overpowered to have a species that is, by default, able to do all of the things any other Force User would have to train to be able to accomplish. You will need to rework the strengths and weaknesses of this submission to account for these factors.
 

Jason H. Wayne

Guest
J
[member="Feeto Chivaro"]

So what you are essentially saying is that their Hive Mind, and just about everything else has to go even if they were Force Users?
 
[member="Jason H. Wayne"]

If you get rid of the following passage, the Hive Mind can stay.



Jason H. Wayne said:
Unable to Use the Force: The Veldorians are incapable of using the Force due to the events of the Netherworld. They are unable to even sense Force Users, and if there were Force Sensitives among them, it would be an extreme minority.

Everything else is too much.
 
[member="Jason H. Wayne"]

Yes.

Jason H. Wayne said:
Murphy's Law: The Veldorians are what the universe could call the most unlucky species out there, because if it could go wrong with them, it will go wrong with them. They could crash their ship while piloting, guns in their hands could backfire, lightsabers could break down just to name a few examples. In short they are what the punching bags of the universe when it comes to the sheer, rotten and miserable luck that they possess.
If you could turn this into a more reasonable weakness, like clumsy or ill-tempered or slow reflexes or something that makes sense, that would be better. It doesn't make sense to me that an entire species can have "bad luck" at everything yet not go extinct.



Jason H. Wayne said:
Projection: The Veldorians are capable of projecting the Force outwards from their body in a different manner than most would think possible, because they are able to form hand held melee weapons out of Force Energy and use those, in addition to firing blasts, or tractor beams of Force Energy out of their hands. This is something unique to the Veldorians, if allowable.
This is not allowable, because using the Force in the way you have described would require training. An entire species cannot be able to do these things by sheer natural disposition. There is also no such thing as a Force "tractor beam." Everything you have described here, to one extent or another, is just telekinesis. It is not unique.



Jason H. Wayne said:
Average Lifespan:950 years
I would suggest adding an explanation for how or why they are able to live for just shy of one thousand years.
 

Jason H. Wayne

Guest
J
[member="Feeto Chivaro"]:
I believe I have edited sufficiently. If my edits aren't sufficient, let me know and I will continue to alter the race.
 
[member="Jason H. Wayne"]



Jason H. Wayne said:
They are a race who cannot use the Force in the slightest, none of them can. This isn’t to say they aren’t without their own abilities however to make up for it.

This is still in your description section.


Jason H. Wayne said:
Distinctions:
Please fill out this field. I don't believe it should be left blank.
 

Jason H. Wayne

Guest
J
[member="Feeto Chivaro"]:

Hopefully I've nerfed them enough, if not... I'll keep doing so.
 
[member="Jason H. Wayne"]



Jason H. Wayne said:
Distinctions: One of the key distinctions is the skin, and hair color. This sets them apart from every race practically.
Okay, this is good, but what are the skin and hair colors that are distinguishing them?
 

Jason H. Wayne

Guest
J
[member="Feeto Chivaro"]:

As the original computer I had all the details of them on got ruined due to a Forced Windows Update, I'm trying to figure out the skin colors and what not anew.
 

Jason H. Wayne

Guest
J
[member="Feeto Chivaro"]:

Finished. Or hopefully anyway, unless there is anything you want edited or removed.
 
[member="Jason H. Wayne"]



Jason H. Wayne said:
Skin color: The skin color varies, but is usually a solid color and transparent.
Hair color: The hair color varies, but usually contrasts with the skin color.
Distinctions: Their skin is a solid color that varies between individuals, as is their hair but it appears to be slightly transparent.
Are there any particular colors or can they basically be any color of the visible spectrum? Please clarify in either case.
 
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