Vrak Nashar Critique

[Vrak Nashar]

Hey guys!

I've written Vrak for nearly two months now, have gone through about 30ish threads and RP'd with a dozen or so people. He's the first Sith I've worked hard at getting character dev with since Nemene and also the first Sith that I've properly written since my One Sith days with Darth Mierin and Shara.

So I was wondering what peoples opinions of him are.

What in your opinion am I doing right? What am I doing wrong? Is he what you imagine a Pureblood to be in your own mind?

Things like that which can help me shape the character moving forward before I attain his status as a Sith Lord.

Thanks for the feedback! If you're not comfortable posting it here feel free to PM me!

 

[Darth Prazutis]

[member="Vrak Nashar"]

Vrak is cold, calculating, ruthless with a malevolent intellect and an arrogance to match, I like him.

I believe Vrak is the picture perfect example of how I'd expect a noble pureblood to act. The dark side is part of his people, the Sith come from his people, they have huge chips on their shoulders and even in modern times after cross breeding and wars have wiped them out, with good reason they have that chip. I love the development he's gone through especially the hook you've done where he lost everything on Athiss, and now he's trying to get it all back. I've always loved Sith species characters, and always wanted to make one myself.

Keep it coming like you are. Your doing everything right so far Vrak is a rising star I will be keeping my eye on and hopefully writing with in the Sith for sure.

 

[Darth Carnifex]

He's pretty cool, you definitely play the Sith Pureblood to the greatest effect.

[member="Vrak Nashar"]

 

[TB-705]

Just as a stylistic thing, maybe give him more distinctive tics. Perhaps he likes to play with the earring in his right ear, or stroke his little chin spikes when he's particularly pensive.

May have missed them since I haven't read a ton of his threads.

 

[Kana Truden]

Please stop smooching my former apprentice.

 

[Jairus Starvald]

 

[Vrak Nashar]

[member="Thengil Ri'Shajirr"]

This is a great bitof advice and something ill most definitely start doing. Thanks

 

[Sanya Val Lerium]

[member="Kana Truden"] heyyyy I'm in the same boat. She was Sanya's first crush. [member="Vrak Nashar"] stop smooching my chars first crush... That lead to been emotionally crushed.

But seriously I love vrak as a char and the stories your doing with Sara I can't get enough of. It's like that impatient waiting between a show each week. I definitely see vrak as a good example of a sith species and in a was reminds me of scorge, with his desire to use people to get what he wants.

I can't wait for your surprise if/when it comes.

 

[Asharad Graush]

He's red.

I like red.

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

Please stop smooching my former apprentice.

This is the result of your and the Jedi's neglect!

 

[Darth Carnifex]

And probably all of that tinkering I did with your brain.

[member="Seraphina Shel'tah"]

 

[Cortana Jade]

[member="Vrak Nashar"]

Soon...

(Awesome character, awesome writer, I expected nothing less. Hopefully we get to write together again.)

 

[Neesa]

Perhaps a minor long term effect from being in isolation for so long?

 

[Kuzo]

Perhaps a minor long term effect from being in isolation for so long?

..... like being a violent sociopath?

He's a *great* bad guy