Private Wait for Sleep | Sacorria

[Phy]

Sacorria
Tags: Marissa Shoda

Droid Body​

Phyla hadn't been able to sleep for a few days now. Did she need sleep? Technically it was complicated. It wasn't fully necessary for energy, but it helped her relax and clear her thoughts. Her feeling receptors gave her a new sensation that changed how her thinking worked, which was sort of strange. Still, she couldn't deny that laying down and sleeping did feel good.

But at the moment she was sort of just laying down. Not really sleeping at all. Her hands were folded politely over her stomach as she stared up at the ceiling in her room.

He was gone. There wasn't really any sort of denial that could be done, Jasper was just gone. She had seen the picture, the one of his tiny form being pulled into that large pyramid thing. Where had it taken him? Why had it taken him? Did it have to be so heartless? It was almost like whoever was in control of that thing hadn't even considered that other people might need him. Well... she needed him. That wasn't really something that was up for debate. Jasper had been the one who had introduced her to the Galaxy. Without that foundation she felt...

Unstable.

She hadn't found the will to get up out of bed. So Phy didn't. The young shard just stayed put.

Her artificial body made her feel worse. She had gotten so used to it now that it made her feel like it should be able to do more. Phyla felt like she should be able to cry.

She'd certainly like to.

 

[Marissa Shoda]

When the Jedi Order notified her that Jasper was gone, she struggled to believe it. Despite their constant reminders of the dangers they faced on a nearly daily occurrence, they always pulled through. They always came home. But this time that wasn't the case. He was simply gone. It took her some time to comprehend what they told her, but it was taking a lot longer to process the news.

Confusion, shock, grief and anger. All of it tumbled and spun together into a mixture of disturbing neutrality, yet also unbridled emotion. The usually stalwart officer was left clueless on how to react or even how to behave at a time like this, especially with what she found out only a week ago.

But even if she comprehended the news, she still couldn't react accordingly. Not with everyone around her. Braze, Jalen... Phyla. She couldn't imagine what was going on in the Shard's mind. Her daughter, for all intents and purposes. It was probably a cruel thought, but for her she could understand what was probably going on with Braze and Jalen. They lost a brother and a father, both of which she was sadly familiar with. But Phyla? Jasper gave her a body and a meaning in life.

Marissa rose from the couch with a sigh. Sleep was a foreign concept for the last few days, she had to force herself to eat, even if it was only a small snack. Tears stuck to her cheeks were wiped away with a cough. The grief was slowly beginning to set in, though she couldn't cry now. She had to make sure the rest were fine first. Slowly she made her way to Phyla's room and gave a few knocks on the door, her free hand idly resting over her stomach.

"Phy?" Her cracked voice spoke up. She cleared her throat and entered, squaring her shoulders as she approached the girl on her bed. "How are you?" She asked her gently. A little blunt and arguably insensitive, but she was at a loss for words with this.

Phy

 

[Phy]

Sacorria
Tags: Marissa Shoda

Droid Body​

Phyla laid silently for a moment, almost as though she were in a stasis. It didn't help that she didn't need to blink. But eventually words did leave her vocoder...

"Why did they take him?" she mumbled, turning her head away. "I guess that's a question that can't really be answered. Nobody knows what took him, or even if it can think. But... it's still not fair... We needed him..."

She needed him. Physical touch for affection was uncharacteristic for Phy, since it was a newer experience for her, but today something within the shard seemed to change. The girl sat up, scooted off her bed, then shuffled over to Marissa and simply fell into her, hiding her face in her guardian's shoulder.

"I'm not okay..." Phy muttered. "I... I want to cry, but I'm not like you... It hurts."

 

[Marissa Shoda]

For a brief moment Marissa was concerned about Phyla, but luckily she did begin to speak up. Her answer formed a knot in Marissa's throat as she sat down next to Phyla on the bed. Her immediate rational thought was that it was smart to take Jasper. He was a valuable asset to the Alliance. Taking him prisoner would not only deal a hefty blow to the Alliance's strategic capabilities, but it would heavily demoralize the people who relied on him in the field.

But who was she kidding?

She would be the first person to turn the bodycam off if she found the person responsible for this.

"It isn't fair, kiddo." She muttered, placing a hand on Phyla's leg to comfort her. The Shard proceeded to practically fall into Marissa, burying her face in her shoulder as she let her emotions out as best she could. Marissa held onto the girl with a tight hug as she swallowed back her own tears. "I know, kiddo. I... wish I could cry, too." She muttered, holding Phyla closely. She could cry, of course. But her situation had a lot less to do with her physical capabilities.

"Whoever it was that took him... they hurt us. But we gotta be strong." She spoke, gently running a hand through Phyla's hair. "For dad... and for each other. We'll find him. We'll get to the bottom of this. But we gotta be there for each other." She pulled away to plant a kiss on Phyla's forehead before pulling her back into a hug.

Was this how people handled this kind of thing? She wasn't sure. She never had the time to process this stuff when a family member or friend passed away, usually doing something dumb. She simply went through the motions when she had the time. But now she wasn't alone. She had a family to take care of. "You wanna get some lunch? I'm sure we still have some mystic energy in the fridge." She asked with a chuckle.

No, she couldn't cry. Not until their little family was taken care of.

Phy

 

[Phy]

Sacorria
Tags: Marissa Shoda

Droid Body​

I'm sure we still have some mystic energy in the fridge.

Phyla sighed, cracking a somber smile.

"Very funny..." she mumbled.

Then again, maybe sitting and meditating with something that could rejuvenate her might be worth a shot. Shard's didn't really eat, per say, but that was about as close as she'd get to the experience of replenishing one's energy. The young woman reached up to her eyes, but she wasn't really sure why. For a split second she felt something damp... but it was really just in her head. Her face was dry as a bone, just like it always was.

"That sounds lovely..." Phy decided. "I'd like that very much."

Jasper wouldn't want her to be a miserable ball of sadness forever anyways. He was still alive, wasn't he? She'd surely have felt it if he had been lost forever.

She hoped he wasn't.

 

[Marissa Shoda]

Marissa snickered at Phyla's remark, but luckily her suggestion worked. She gave the Shard a final kiss on the head before getting up, holding a hand out to help Phyla to her feet as well. It was unnecessary, but she really did just want to show her support. Once they were in the kitchen, Marissa scrounged for some ingredients to start making something for the two of them. Even if it was just a method of getting Phyla's mind off everything.

"We should take a trip to Denon sometime. Place is sketchy but they've got some really talented chrome docs in some areas. Knew a girl that had someone build her an entire body that worked just like a normal one. Was all cybernetic, of course. But she could eat, drink an enjoy everything a normal person could, even if she didn't need to." She remarked, placing some vegetables in front of Phyla to chop up. "You get to chopping, I'll get some bacon going." She instructed.

That plan, however, quickly turned upside down the moment the smell of the raw meat hit her nose. Her stomach began to turn until she was forced to sprint for the bathroom. After a couple of minutes, she emerged from the bathroom and returned to the kitchen only to run away again. Exhausted, Marissa sat down on the couch in the living room with a worried look and a hand on her stomach.

"Think we can order something. How's that sound?" She asked Phyla with a faint smile.

Phy

 

[Phy]

Sacorria
Tags: Marissa Shoda

Droid Body​

"Think we can order something. How's that sound?"

"Yeah... that sounds agreeable," Phyla nodded. "I've been meaning to test out my updated 'tastebuds' as well. They've been on the fritz lately and I believe I have them adjusted to appropriate levels."

It was something to take her mind of of all of this. It would be good for Marissa too. Jasper was her other half, in a sense. There was not doubt a whirlwind of emotions that her guardian was experiencing at the present moment. A more genuine smile appeared on Phy's face.

"I'm... sure we can find one of those silly holo-dramas you like to watch too," she added

 

[Marissa Shoda]

Thankfully Phyla didn't press on the matter, the poor girl even suggested watching a show or two which brought a laugh from Marissa. She looked at the Shard with a glimmer of adoration for a moment. To think that she struggled to see Phyla as a living being in the start. She had changed since then, of course. Exposed to the galaxy and all of its wonders. Now she struggled to see Phyla as anything other than her own.

She couldn't help but wonder what the girl's response would be if she had a sibling...

"Show could be fun. But I'm getting tired of staring at the same walls all day. You wanna maybe head out a little after lunch?" She asked the girl with a gentle voice. In the meantime, she flipped out her datapad and began to scroll through the various options for lunch. Where they lived, there wasn't a lot in the neighbourhood, but there was enough to make Marissa squirm a little bit at some of the options. With how unsettled her eating habits were now, she was concerned about ordering her usual options.

Luckily she managed to find some good options for the both of them. With the order placed, Marissa sat back with a sigh. The silence was killing her. Ever since she received the news, it was just silence and darkness. Her mind began to wander as she stared up at the ceiling. Should she tell Phyla? Was it a good idea to burden the poor girl with the news? The thought kept bouncing in her head until she let out another long sigh.

"Phyla, we're gonna have a kid." She spoke with a neutral voice, slowly turning her head to look at the Shard.

Phy

 

[Phy]

Sacorria
Tags: Marissa Shoda

Droid Body​

"Yeah... heading out would be good."

Phyla could agree with that. Still, she couldn't help but feel the strange feelings swirling around her guardian. They were very conflicting. It was certainly a cause for concern. Sure, Jasper's absence was having an effect, but there was something else at play here.

And then she outright stated it.

"A... a kid?" She asked, tilting her head. "The... the procreation kind of child? That would be the genetic offspring of... Oh."

This was a lot to process. No wonder Marissa was experiencing so much turmoil. Organics were known to have mood swings while in pregnancy. No doubt the early stages were beginning to take effect. Phyla sat there processing this info, unsure of how to respond. That was her sibling, or future sibling anyways. Hers and Braze 's. Yet no Jasper. He didn't even get to choose to be here for the baby.

He didn't even get to know he was having a child.

"I understand," Phyla finally nodded. "I will do everything in my power to assist."

Jasper would return. She would make sure of it.