We Still Hope

[Amz]

Sabarene.

The wounds that had been inflicted here were not yet entirely mended, and there was darkness lingering at the core of it all.

In some ways, Sabarene reminded her of Thyrsus. Not the Thyrsus of this Galaxy’s age, but the one of her home. The one that’d been ravaged by Raien under the claim that everything he did was for the Echani, a truth she bitterly accepted, that they had indeed grown stronger and more confident because of his twisted game, as strength so often grew out of adversity. Through this, their golden age had been ushered in. On the graves of their dead.

Perhaps her particular past was half the reason why she threw herself with such ferocity into the matters of Sabarene, now.

But, then, it was always hard for Erryn to rest.

As always, the once Kae tried to keep the balance of hope in her heart. But, between the suffering of her Echanar who she labored to keep from the grip of death, and the worry of what would happen to this place if Manu’s body did indeed fail...

It was enough that Erryn kept her mind and herself, busy. Not only for a distraction from problems she didn’t yet know how to fix or address, but also for the health and sanity of what remained of her Echanar. Her Echanar who had lived through so much already. The Echanar who she would not lose and would not be taken from her again.

With this determination she kept herself occupied. From before sun-up, till after sun-down, until she was too tired to lie awake at night.

Today was not one of those days.

Erryn, currently walking through crystal halls trailed by two Echani Guards, had sent out a message summoning [member="Manu Xextos"]. She did not word it in a way that would cause him to worry, constantly trying to foster as much calm, peace, and stillness as possible.

There was much that she wanted to discuss with him today.

 

[Manu Xextos]

I took the long way round.

It’s relatively elegant on the back end of eight centuries to look back and see [member="Erryn Xextos"] breathing in our bed, hugging her stomach as she did so often when Divya was nesting. As with much that came of Sabarene and the Echani preserved here, I feel their constant throng in the back and sides of my mind.

The chorus sings louder these days, less of me to push it to the side. Less of my present state remains, day in. Day out. I linger without breaking, hobbled by the gift of life my mother [member="Ahani Najwa"] once again gave upon me.

The Dark Side asks much of its’ petitioners. The Light Side asks ever more, replenishing constantly in its’ mercy.

Mercy, upon mercy, upon mercy.

The sensation of being called for by [member="Erryn Xextos"] is one which presses upon my skin and through to the cords of muscles which remain. It lingers inside, pinging the strain of melody I hear in Sabarene’s song. My wife.

Her shadow calls.

Meditating as I am by the crystals in my Temple, I continually listen to Erin’s song. Her strain in the music is vibrant and virulent. It threatens all who would pluck it. My Erryn. My warrior queen. It strikes me that the reason I cannot exist fully here is an unending lack of desire to detach from those who came before. Ahani’s done what she could, I have my wife, my daughter Chiara, the hopes of futures yet to come, and yet I cannot, by compulsion, be glad.

Was it not that same sense of malaise, which caused Raien to relent to his life of betrayal’s butchery? I shut my eyes and feel the throbbing coils of his Sithly presence in my ribcage. He’s still there, the old villain. Still lingering…

… it’s time. For all and every moment to come, it’s time to abolish the last vestiges of Keth’s legacy from my failing bones, and give Erin’s rebirth a chance. I walk slower these days, caught between a curve in my spine and the slow gait of the man who knows his end came centuries before.

“The Palace is beautiful, Erryn… a paradise.” The palace shines with an inner light magnified by my presence in this place. I give my wife a smile, offering my arm out for an embrace. This, my Erryn…. she’s my Erryn.

She is.

 

[Amz]

Hearing his voice she turned, a smile slowly lighting upon her face. “My love,” Erryn stepped into his outreached arms, reaching for the embrace that was both familiar and foreign. Her Echanar lacked the strength of their youth, but he was hers…Erryn held tighter to the fading man in her arms.

She would have strength enough for the both of them, for she couldn’t let him go again. The other half of her soul. Even if he could only spare fractions of his. She wouldn’t let go. Not again, not ever.

Erryn let out a slight, mostly unnoticeable sigh and pulled away from Manu. The expression in her eyes was ever gentle towards him, and pale fingers brushed wisps of ivory from his silver gaze. It was still hard to believe he was actually here, after what had felt like an eternity apart. Though, standing face to face with him, she knew in her heart that he was still lost along the river of time. The ripples of his muscle and the way he moved, spoke volumes to that.

“It is beautiful here, though I admit that I miss our home on Thyrsus every now and again.”

There in the noise, they had fought side by side for a cause. A pair to be reckoned with, with all of the resolution they could muster for the Echani.

Sabarene was much quieter.

“But we must take solace and joy in what we have, moments like these can be so elusive and fleeting.”

[member="Manu Xextos"]

 

[Manu Xextos]

Even after eight hundred and twenty years, Erryn still has every ability to take my breath from me. The Erryn I left behind begins to pale to the beauty in my arms. She didn’t care that I’ve lost the strength to pick her up, carry her away. She didn’t care, but she cherished. Her tenacity knew no bounds.

Why am I still here?

The answer was in her whisper of our ancient home. A swelling which shunted into my heart with enough force to cause my ribcage and chest to flinch.

Thyrsus.

“I don’t miss it.” A gasp threads out of my lungs into the air around us, words spoken and to be kept as part of the fabric of Sabarene. The blood spilt, the constant threats on my family, Thyrsus was the place I found [member="Erryn Xextos"], but it was not the place of my grace. It was the bastion of my fury, the tool of Keth to swerve me from my proper path.

The place my children were born… “Erryn, I don’t miss Thyrsus. The only reason I stayed on that planet was you… I miss you, my love. I miss Divya and our son… I look to Abha and Divya, ‘Deo, they’re still out there. Their voices didn’t get lost. A legion of children and I don’t feel the loss of ours… I should be happy here.”

Her skin feels tender under my fingers, as I brush them across her cheek. This, my Erryn. My gift from Ahani, who as much as I hated to admit, knows what I’ve always needed.

“I love you.” Dipping down, my lips brush across hers, and I sense the hesitancy in my skin. I’ve gotten old. My body isn’t the paragon of muscle fibre and strength it was when Erryn and I conceived our children, I’m a withered being.

She deserves the paragon, not the shadow.

“Yes, solace and joy are fleeting, maybe that’s it. I keep waiting for the next invasion force to come past our defences and plough through us. Since the Fringe disbanded and the First Order set in, we’re all alone out here. Feels like I can’t rest… but Chiara is here. Zarah and Xander are here, and as much as I want to pitch Xander into the sun by his googly-moogs, maybe it’s past time, you know? I can rest.” I stroke up and down Erryn’s arm, leaning down once more to kiss her cheek.

“Enjoy what we’ve built here, you and I… maybe now the kids’ll be alright.”

 

[Amz]

Throughout what Manu said, she remained composed. More than any other race, Echani needed to be in complete control of themselves, this was that much more important when it came to her husband. Assurances with words were for naught, when the truth would be written in your every movement. As he spoke, the sorrow was felt, but the sorrow became her steal, her strength. Their strength.

They were capable, they could overcome. They could rebuild and start again. Her body conveyed that to him. “I know it’s been difficult since you woke, but you don’t have to bear these weights alone. I’m right here for you.”

Manu’s close proximity as the words ‘I love you’ left his lips, filled her heart with the hope of new possibility. “I love you so Manu, I never stopped.” she replied, warmth in her voice and eyes. He loved her. Not the shadow of the past, but her.

A year had come and gone with this being the first physical connection they’d shared. This feeling was one she’d missed. The feeling of pure contentment. She thought she’d remembered what it was like, but the memory was a poor replacement for being present in the moment. The thought made her heart ache for him, to feel the difficulties and joy, to wonder at her rebirth. The loneliness. She had much sympathetic pain for what she could only imagine he’d gone through, the small sorrows and large griefs he had bore alone.

Erryn hummed softly and left one last kiss before pulling away and resting her head against his shoulder, her hands curling around his back. Love, comfort, protection, safety.

“I share your concerns, especially about Xander. He’s not my favorite people either, but he’s behaved and we will do what we must as we always have, if he tries anything. We’ve always found a way when we are together. Besides, the First Order has their eyes set on territory towards the core, from what I hear, every faction is snapping its teeth at the new bits of space, hoping to gain ground and expand their borders.”

‘...the kids will be alright.’

Erryn wondered about that, assuming the subject was about their daughter Chiara and their current line of descendants. Not that she didn’t want more children, but the idea had never stuck in her mind while tending to her husband, especially when she hadn’t been with the man before her in more than a year. Still, the idea was stuck in her brain...but she quietly moved it to the back-burner. One of the abstract possibilities of the future? Who knew.

She leaned into him again and stretched up to put her arms around his neck, rather tentatively at first, but the kiss against her cheek reassured her that this was alright. “Eight hundred years of looking to the horizon in anticipate of the next battle is long enough, wouldn’t you agree? I want that to, to enjoy what we have here, together. My indomitable Knight Errant.”

[member="Manu Xextos"]

 

[Manu Xextos]

“Yes, you are.” My [member="Erryn Xextos"], blood of her blood, memory of her memory… would she one day achieve the sliver of soul left to Erryn in the Force? Or was she a new creation? This is beyond all, one of the only questions of which I have no answer.

I don’t know, and now on the edge of it, I find it thrilling. My arms are thin as they wind around her, but her body responds positively all the same. Something dissipates across my spine, a sensation or old begotten pain. It cracks and shivers, shrivelling off into sand to billow away on the horizon.

I have everything I need right here in these living arms.

“It’s those Jen’ari I find myself concerned with as of late. The First Order won’t touch us, we’re too far removed, but those Sith playacts are potentially irksome. Might think about making some new friends. Working the Temple, bringing in some more like minds… but… Zarah can do that. You’re right about Xander, he’s impressed lately. Whoever thought all he needed was a wife?” Manu shook his head and chuckled, thinking back to all the times [member="Darth Vizios"] and [member="Chiara Viren"] danced around their arranged marriage… one Manu wouldn’t have let stand anyway.

“Painted the wrong cousin. Gosh, I can’t believe it.” Erin’s arms slide around my neck and it feels like home. My eyes shut, lips pulling at the edges. I stretch and feel pop-cracks in my back, which straightens that little bit more. Gnarled, shaking hands wind around her back, smoothing the shirt she wears across pristine skin.

“Indomitable. Hah. Right now I feel like one half of a dehydrated irli tree with fruit on the vine. Or old radishes. You’re right. It is about time I left the worrying to someone else. Why don’t we pack a bag? Head to Aberash just the two of us. Soak in some sun, go for a swim… us and nobody else but the six million people empathically yelling constantly in my head.” My idea of a joke, it’s nonetheless true. The planet was a place of inner noise, never to be revoked. Still, maybe I could make her smile.