Private What do I have to teach?

[Millia Korraay]

Location: Coruscant | Old Jedi Temple | Millia’s quarters
Tags: Elami Iria
Wearing: Temple Robes

Millia sat alone in her quarters. She had recently returned from a trip to Phateem to do some research on the Halls of Knowledge. More precisely on the demise of the Halls. Her findings were interesting, but she was having a hard time making out a report. It wasn’t a difficult report to write. But her mind was unfocused. Millia had received word from Mi'la Undari that the Twi’lek was going to Cinnegar to fight the Maw and try to retake Empress Teta. And the robes she wore still smelled of Mi'la from the time she wore them on Belkadan. At least that's what Millia told herself. The smell probably was just a memory.

Worry was a new emotion for Millia, at least worry for anything other than keeping germs from getting into her system and killing her from the inside. For two days she had sat alone in her quarters. Trying to meditate. As a result when Master Norrya Zol entered everything including Millia herself was lifted at least half a foot above whatever surface it had been sitting on prior to the beginning of the meditation.

The door warning buzzed and the Kel Dor Master’s voice came over the inroom comm. “Millia you seem distracted,” as if to answer the statement Millia lost her place in meditation and everything dropped to rest near where it had started. “May I enter?”

“Of course Master Zol,” Millia said with a sigh.

“What troubles you dear?” Norrya asked in her grandmotherly tone.

“I shouldn’t say. It’s personal,” Millia said with a blush. “And Jedi aren’t supposed to be thinking personally. I’m sorry I haven’t returned my Halls of Knowledge report yet. I’m having a difficult time getting my thoughts into words.”

“That’s quite fine Millia,” the Kel Dor said. A smile could be heard but not seen through her breath mask. “You have been assigned a Padawan.”

“I have been what?” Millia questioned in disbelief. “What can a Padawan possibly learn from me? How to avoid getting a cold?”

Master Zol chuckled. “This one is nearly a knight. She won’t be with you long. Wouldn’t be with you at all if not for the Battle of Tython. She has lost her Master and needs to learn to heal and be patient. That is something you are good at. So she is now your Padawan. You can meet her in the library when you clean up this place.”​

 

[Elami Iria]

Location: Coruscant | Jedi Temple | Main Library
Tags: Millia Korraay

Elami Iris was irritated to find herself on Coruscant at all, but even more so in the middle of the rebuilding Jedi Temple. She had fled the order following the defense of Tython. She had felt empty in the Force since her Master had died. The Galactic Alliance and New Jedi Order have both honored her Master, but that didn't help. Why was she given the gift of forsight if the Force wasn't going to warn her that the most important person in her life was going to be taken. She should have been able to stop it. They could have refused the assignment.

The Mirialan Padawan felt bad for thinking that way and that was why she left the order and took up dancing on Tatooine. How could she be a Jedi and think that her gifts should serve her purposes? That was the way to the Dark Side. How many lives had her Master saved by giving his own. If she had known before hand and took strides to stop it what could have happened?

Elami didn't deserve to be a Jedi. But they still found her. Dragged her out of the cantina she was twirling around blissfully in. Brought her here. And now they would saddle some poor knight with her for the foreseeable future. Hopefully this knew master would give up on her and let her drift away.​

 

[Millia Korraay]

Location: Coruscant | Old Jedi Temple | Millia’s quarters
Tags: Elami Iria
Wearing: Temple Robes

The Kuranu knight paced the hallways outside the library for several minutes before deciding to make her way inside. Millia Korraay had never been shy. She shouted out answers in classes, was first to volunteer to demonstrate something, but as soon as she revealed that she was uncomfortable being close to someone who was not completely clean her peers started to push away from her. When she was really young there was laughter with the separation, that hurt, but she was to be a Jedi, what other people thought of her slowly stopped mattering.

As a Padawan she found even ground with her master and even made a few friends who were willing to look past her quirk and get closer, but their was only one who in the end was really considered a friend and she drifted away as they both became more involved in opposite happenings in the Order. After being knighted Millia worked mostly on her own. Diving into history was not something that requires a partner, and when she had one they were usually short-lived. She didn’t think that would be the case with Mi’la, but that was so new she wasn’t sure.

How was she possibly pegged as a candidate to help this Padawan? Not even a fresh open to the galaxy Padawan, but one that was capable of knighthood and fell on hard times. Millia wasn’t equipped to deal with this. What was she going to do now?

Before she could answer herself she was standing before the young Mirialan woman. She did not look happy to be there, so it appeared that much was mutual. Hopefully they could both open up and figure out this situation before one or both of them was wrecked in the process. “You must be Elami. I’m Millia Korraay. They have told me that I will be your Master for a short time. I hear you were brought here from Tatooine. Dancing they said. You like dancing?”​

 

[Elami Iria]

Location: Coruscant | Jedi Temple | Main Library
Tags: Millia Korraay

Elami shrunk away from the introduction. Of course they had to send some soft friendly knight to come and lift her spirits. Probably told her about what happened on Tython. Found some woman to swoop in to be Elami’s mother for a year or so until the Mirialan Padawan could get her crap together again and then poof new Jedi for the frontline. That wasn’t going to be Elami. Not any more.

“I hate dancing,” Elami grumbled her response. “Hate Tatooine too. So hot and dirty. And those outfits that they give dancers.” She shook her head. “That’s what I deserve for letting my Master down.” She held up a finger and gave a scowl before Millia could respond to that. “I didn’t let him down by letting him die. I let him down by thinking the Force should have allowed me to do so. He gave his life freely in the service of justice for the galaxy. To keep people safe from the Maw, and if I had my way he would still be here and the galaxy be damned for it. He wouldn’t be ashamed of me for his death. He would be ashamed for the way I chose to react to it. Blame the Force, not see the good.”

The Mirialan girl gave a sigh and threw her head down on the table with a thud. “Look. I’m sure you’re a nice person. You might be the next great Master of the Jedi Order. But I don’t need a master. I don’t need a friend. I don’t need to be a Jedi anymore. If you really want to do right by me you’ll let me go down to the lower levels and find a droid shop to work in. Or go back to Tatooine to punish myself. Either way. You need to know that my place is not here.”​

 

[Millia Korraay]

Location: Coruscant | Old Jedi Temple | Library
Tags: Elami Iria
Wearing: Temple Robes

Millia sighed at the words from the Padawan. Someone in the Order either thought very highly of Millia or they really hated her. She wasn’t aware of anything that she had done to make them think that she could put this young lady on the right track, so Millia assumed it was the latter. Now the question was why bring this girl back to the Order just to saddle her with a subpar master?

“So you took a job you hate. On a planet you hate. And probably had to deal with handsy patrons even if you picked the best cantina on Tatooine,” Millia responded with a sigh. “All because you feel guilty to be alive while your Master has passed from the physical world?”

The Kuranu Archivist shook her head again. “What did you think was going to happen? That you would feel better about yourself if you were groped by enough slimy hands? That you would feel so low that eventually there would be no place to go but up? That was never going to happen and that is why they dragged you out of that cantina back here.” Millia sat in the chair next to Elami, but kept her hands folded in her lap and was a foot at least away from the Padawan.

“All Jedi have a time when they doubt whether they do things for the right reason,” Millia continued in a less forceful tone. “All Jedi have doubts about why the Force didn’t help them in a particular instance. It’s a part of learning about the Force. Your Master wouldn’t want you dancing in a cantina on Tatooine. So you have a choice. So you can somehow prove to me you aren’t what I know you are. If you show me that what you really are is a droid repairwoman I’ll take you to the best one I know of. But you’re not going back to Tatooine I promise you that. And you certainly don’t have to worry about being the first Jedi saved by the great Jedi Master Millia Korraay. I’m an outlier just like you. You’ll be a much better Master than I am. I know that to be true.”​

 

[Elami Iria]

Location: Coruscant | Jedi Temple | Main Library
Tags: Millia Korraay

Elami got a little bit angry at the guilty comment. Her eyes flared up a bit and she felt a burn inside her for the first time in a while. “I am not guilty that I survived. We all should have survived. The Force should show us a way to deal with the Brotherhood of the Maw without having to sacrifice good people.”

Elami almost started to cry at this. She did feel guilty for being alive. She felt guilty because her gift had failed her master. She felt guilty for feeling guilty. All the young Mirialan felt was guilt of one sort or another and there wasn’t anything that Knight Millia Korraay was going to be able to say that would change that. And all that guilt was what made her much better suited to be a dancer on Tatooine than a Jedi.

“I was there to make sure that I didn’t get involved in anything else as a Jedi,” Elami spit back at the Kuranu woman. “I was mad at the Force while I was sitting in a medical frigate being treated for minor wounds. By the time they had released me I was angry at myself. The Force shouldn’t trust me any longer and I definitely shouldn’t be getting any help from the Force. I figured a dancer wouldn’t have any need for Farsight. So why would the Force bother. What were those two knights doing in the cantina anyways? Don’t say they were looking for me. Others have left the Order before they weren’t dragged back.”

Elami finally gave up being mad and sighed. “No Master wouldn’t want me there. Do you mean it? If you think I am not worthy of being a Jedi you’ll let me go be a mechanic?”​

 

[Millia Korraay]

Location: Coruscant | Old Jedi Temple | Library
Tags: Elami Iria
Wearing: Temple Robes

The girl was angry, bitter, and sad. Those were dangerous things for a Jedi to be. And Millia knew above anything else that Elami was a Jedi. Lot’s of Jedi suffered loss. Many of those used their training to push through it and feel no ill effects. Many others came to a crossroads. That was where Elami was now. She needed help to get where she should be. Millia just couldn’t believe that the council thought that she could be the one to guide Elami there. Or maybe this was just a test. Maybe the Masters know that Elami is a lost cause and wish to see how much time and effort Millia would give her. Millia shook her head. If Elami came back on her own maybe, but to bring the girl back to suffer for Millia’s test was too much. It was cruel and Millia refused to believe the Jedi would do such a thing.

Millia scooted closer to the young Mirialan. She closed her eyes and put an arm around the girl’s shoulder. It was something that was very uncomfortable. Elami didn’t look like her first stop from the docks was to the library. Millia guessed they had given her the opportunity to shower and change. Though the girl could have chosen proper robes in Millia’s opinion. But she wasn’t the only Padawan who preferred non-traditional clothing.

Millia gave a smile though Elami probably wouldn’t see it. “The Force will find you. Even in a seedy Tatooine cantina. It is good that you realized that you needed some space from the works of the Jedi while you were mad. So let’s try to make that a little less demeaning huh? I promise I won’t make you leave this temple on Jedi business until you are ready.”

Millia had to laugh when the Elami asked what the knights who brought her back were doing in the cantina. “Force only knows why they were there. Perhaps they were on a mission nearby. Perhaps they just enjoy cantinas. The fact is that you are here now. At a crossroad in your life. You can accept peace and reach your potential within the Jedi. Or you can become a droid mechanic. Whichever it is that you become, it is my responsibility to guide you for now. I will accept if your place is in a droid shop, but I will not accept it without both of us trying our best to learn what the Force wishes of you.”​

 

[Elami Iria]

Location: Coruscant | Jedi Temple | Main Library
Tags: Millia Korraay

Elami felt the discomfort in Millia as the knight placed her arm around her new padawan. Was there something wrong with her? Elami wondered. She thought there was so why wouldn’t her new master share that view. Still the contact was a bit of comfort that Elami wasn’t really looking for, but quite frankly needed. She leaned into Millia as if she were her mother or big sister.

“The Force is everywhere,” Elami said to herself as much as to Millia. “I should have known better than to think I could hide from it. I’m sure I probably did know. Maybe it was more of a punishment than a hiding place. I’m sure there has to be some place in this big galaxy where I would find peace from the Force, but it certainly wasn’t Tatooine. I could still feel the Force there for sure. Even though I didn’t get any visions. It lingered in my head.”

Millia explained that she wouldn’t force Elami out into the galaxy until she was ready. That was both confusing and comforting. A Jedi’s place was definitely out in the galaxy doing good, but Elami was not ready to call herself a Jedi now, if she ever would be. “How is it that a knight can afford to stay in the temple until her Padawan is ready to take on adventures?” Elami questioned.

“I appreciate your patience Master Korraay,” Elami muttered so that it could barely be heard. “And I appreciate that you recognize where I am in my life. I have never been anything other than a Jedi. Never thought I would even think about leaving. But I know I can’t do any good for others while I struggle like this. I will need guidance, and I promise. I will put effort into this arrangement. I am not sure that I’m destined to be a Jedi anymore, but I know that I won’t give up on the Force. Hopefully it will show the way.”​

 

[Millia Korraay]

Location: Coruscant | Old Jedi Temple | Library
Tags: Elami Iria
Wearing: Temple Robes

Millia was glad to hear that Elami had not forgotten the Force when she was serving out her self-prescribed punishment for losing her Master. The Force was Millia’s only dependable friend as a youngling and gave her no reason to turn her back on it when she gained a master and DATA and Mi’la, so she didn’t understand what Elami was going through. But the Mirialan Padawan was not the first one. What Millia lacked in experience she did have in knowledge of history.

“Visions will return Padawan,” Millia said with a bit of a sigh. “I know that seems scary now. You need to get ready for it though. Whether you are a Jedi or a droid mechanic you have a gift and the Force will not forget you. No matter how much you would like it to. It is best that you not forget it too. Trying to control the Force’s intention leads to the Dark Side. As much as you don’t want to be a Jedi, I can feel that you don’t want to fall to the other side either.”

Millia had to give a laugh at the question of how she could manage to stay at the temple. “Jedi have many different jobs. Not all of them are always out defending the galaxy. I am an archivist. I like to be out looking into mysteries of the past whenever I can and document them as I saw them. But I can do much from here in the temple.”

Millia could do nothing more than nod at the appreciation that Elami showed. “You are a very wise mature young woman. I wouldn’t have been able to handle what you have at the age. Please remember it is ok to feel things. I still do. That was one of the failings of past Jedi. You must however balance and understand your feelings. Otherwise you’ll be lost. The Force will show you the way though.”​

 

[Elami Iria]

Location: Coruscant | Jedi Temple | Main Library
Tags: Millia Korraay

“Yeah I guess I better figure out how to get back on good terms with the Force,” Elami said with a weak smile. “If the visions start again I might be of some help. And if I start to help, maybe I will feel like a Jedi again. That’s what we want to happen.”

The Mirialan Padawan listened to her new master explain that there were more than one job for a Jedi. Something that Elami knew deep down, but she just imagined that the ones that took on Padawans were more, well, more like Master Kylelis. Master Millia said she was a mix of both things which made sense. She was a scholar. That could be done in a library or in old ruins. “So until I start feeling more Forcy I am going to be spending a lot of time in a library? Is that what you’re saying?”

Elami gave another weak smile. “I will try to remember that it is ok to feel. Not feeling was after all not something I was taught to do in the first place. Hopefully I can stop resenting myself and the Force for what happened to Master Kylelis. Then we could get on to some good things. Do you have any instructions for me Master?”​

 

[Millia Korraay]

Location: Coruscant | Old Jedi Temple | Library
Tags: Elami Iria
Wearing: Temple Robes

Millia smiled at Elami’s willingness to accept there was a way back to the Force, back to the Jedi and back onto the course that she was once on. Millia couldn’t imagine what sort of feelings losing a master after being under their tutelage for so long that promotion was in sight. But Elami was a better Jedi than Millia was, or at least she would be if she could get past this bump in the road. Millia felt a good deal of pressure that she was the one to see Elami over the hump.

“Very astute observation,” Millia said with a smile. “Don’t get me wrong. I choose to spend a good amount of time in the field looking through the ruins and databases that other Jedi have left behind. I am a strong believer that we can learn much from our past. Believe it or not I think you will one day learn a lot from what happened on Tython. As soon as you are able to separate what happened to your Master, to you from what happened to the galaxy.”

Millia gave a nod to the last bit. Elami understood what her challenge was. That she had to get past her loss and realize there was more she could do. “For tonight you should just get some rest. Meet me in the training room in the morning. We’ll begin moving forward. That is the only way you will be able to make peace with your past.”​

 

[Elami Iria]

Location: Coruscant | Jedi Temple | Main Library
Tags: Millia Korraay

Elami gave her new master a nod of her head and stood from the chair she was seated in. “Then I think I will go spend some time resting and trying to center my thoughts. I’m guessing training will be a learning experience for both of us.” She gave a smile. “I expect to be pushed. But I won’t be too upset if you take it easy.”

Elami did exactly what she said she would after departing the library. She went back to her room, thankfully she was established enough to get her own room. Or they felt like she might be a bad influence on a roommate at this point. Either way she was happy to be alone with her thoughts. Today had been a lot for the Mirialan padawan. Back in the temple, a new master. It was a little sad to think about. She liked Master Korraay so far, but it did make her miss Master Kylelis as well.

During the night Elami dreamed. She was back on Tython. But it was not the Tython she had left without her Master, or even the one they had arrived. It was as the Force had created it long, long ago. Elami took a seat and crossed her legs. She knew there was more to this than a simple dream. She didn’t have simple dreams. The Force showed her things.

“Hello Padawan,” the soft strong voice of Master Kylelis Bonell spoke out to her student.

“Master?” Elami questioned turning her head towards the voice. She blinked as she saw nothing.

“Yes my student it is me,” Master Kylelis. “Don’t search for me visually. I am with the Force now. You will not find me here. Even in your dreams.”

“Why have you come here? Why now?” Elami questioned.

“You are among friends now,” her Master responded. “You need to move on. You would not have heard me when you were busy punishing yourself. Now you know I speak the truth. I will always be here for you. But in your waking life you need to move one. I died for the benefit of the whole galaxy. Go out there and live for that same galaxy.”​