Private What Happens in Truuine, Stays in Truuine...

[Cadere]

Truuine

​

Well this was completely out of left-field. The idea for a two day getaway in a traditional cruise setting was... Zemira's idea. But it was nice, really nice, and a much-needed break. Ever since the events following his and Ki'an's capture at the hands of Insatious, barely escaping with their lives - Cas had worked and trained non-stop, finding ways to rescue and return the Mandalorian's wife and eldest child to him. To no avail so far. Despite the relaxing atmosphere and relaxing on the cruise's beach chair, allowing the sun's rays to warm his skin, Cas couldn't relax. His mind constantly returned to Insatious, training and ways he could defeat the Sith Lord and rescue Ki'an's family.

Trying to think of other things, his thoughts lingered onto Zemira. He theorised that she needed this getaway as much as he did, knowing that the evacuation on Charros IV effected the Hapan deeply. Cas still couldn't wrap his head around her inviting him, someone like her definitely would have had better options. Then his throughts began trailing back to Insatious. Letting out an annoyed quiet growl, he sat up swiftly into a seated position and pinched the bridge of his nose. Cas really needed to occupy his mind and stimulate himself.

Dressed in a white t-shirt and swimshorts, Cas buried his hand and exposed cybernetic hand into his pockets and begun wandering the cruise ship. In hopes of finding some sort of activity. As he walked beside the railing, Cas caught a glimpse of the open ocean and its horizon, letting out a euphoric sigh - this was nice.

Zemira

 

[Zemira]

To say she was excited for the break was an understatement. Having never had a real 'holiday' before, she had gone all-out and came prepared with a tacky outfit accompanied by a floppy hat, sunglasses and sun-cream that was only partially rubbed in on her nose. Her neurotic obsession of beauty as a Hapan ran deep and she wished to avoid burning her face.

There were few people she was friends with enough to consider inviting but given the recent friendship that had begun to blossom with Cas, she figured she would invite her new friend along to solidify bonds and at least in their next battle he couldn't complain they only met under duress.

Their previous battle had affected her badly, though she didn't speak of it. The horrors she had witnessed that day would never leave her. However, they had been given an opportunity to leave that behind, at least for a couple of days. Now she lay in the sun, sipping her third cocktail beside Cas, more carefree than her friend was managing to be.

When Cas rose from his place beside her, her gaze followed him for a moment but it took her a while to join him after considering whether or not she should do so. "Hey." She called out to him as she approached him and stood beside him. "Something on your mind?" She asked before taking a sip of the cocktail that accompanied her.

Cadere

 

[Cadere]

Standing up seemed to be helping already, gazing out into the ocean was calming and mesmerising. Then he felt a comforting warmth wash over him, it was a familiar presence and before he could deduce who it was, Zemira's voice reached his ear. Leaning forward against the railing "That easy to read, huh?" he asked rhetorically, not meeting her gaze he stayed silent for a few seconds before ultimately sighing and turning around to face her.

Leaning back against the railing now, he feigned a jovial smile "Oh, y'know, just thinking about... things." he was vague, not wanting to burden Zemira with his issues seeing as she was going through something herself. She seemed to be in a much better headspace than he was though, at least on the surface. Now with a chance to get a real good look at the Hapan, he looked her up and down before a smile crept on the corner of his lips. "You look ridiculous by the way. It's a lucky thing you're as cute as you are." Cas teased.

Cas ran his cybernetic hand through his hair and exhaled "Thanks by the way. For inviting me out here... I really needed this." He was doing it again. Despite her humurous getup, Cas would consistently catch himself staring at her longingly, and the worst part was how obvious it was. Fortunately, as a Hapan, Zemira was used to this and simply shrugged off his stupid stares - it definitley made things less awkward. At least in his eyes. It was difficult though, Cas hadn't been this interested in someone since Tess all those years ago. Which said a lot about Zemira. All good of course.

Switching his gaze forward, Cas asked "Are you okay though? I've been worried about you since... y'know. Wasn't sure when the right time to bring this up was."

Zemira

 

[Zemira]

"You're standing here staring at the ocean. What else am I meant to think? Nothing keeps you quiet for this long." She joined him and rested her arms on the railing to share the view. Usually, her connection to the Force would've allowed her a better insight into his feelings but any skills she had were dampened by the buzz of alcohol and she could not concentrate enough to use them so would have to rely on more traditional methods of empathy.

After his reply, she remained silent, unsure what to say to be of comfort. She didn't want to pressure him into revealing too much but equally didn't want him to leave things unsaid. However, he was quick to change the topic and her face turned into a frown, though unserious. "Hey!" She gave him a playful elbow in the side but soon smiled. With little experience of life outside of the Order, she relied on others for how to behave and dress in certain situations and this was one of them, leaving her kitted out with the most stereotypical holiday outfit available.

"You can't complain we only meet under duress now." She winked and raised the cocktail to her mouth to finish the remainder. "I think we all need it." She replied on a slightly more serious note before shaking it off and smiling again, though somewhat falsely.

She noticed his lingering gaze but simply smiled in response. "Yeah, I'm fine. Well... It's ok. It's our job." She replied, showing her nature as a very duty-bound person. Zemira had done well to suppress much of the most painful memories while they took a break and she wasn't about to allow herself to dwell on them now. She wasn't sure if she could tell from his demeanour or the subtle wavering in the Force but he still seemed troubled and was less skilled at shaking off the feelings than she was.

The Knight wrapped an arm around her friend and pulled him into a side hug as they looked out over the ocean. "It'll be ok." She tried to reassure him.

Cadere

 

[Cadere]

Seemed his joke landed, thankfully, it seemed that Zemira was more relaxed and open to banter when out of high-intense situations. Which, in hindsight, was fair as everyone else wasn't built like him - joking and quipping to mask his own fears and insecurities when in battle. Still, her relatively good mood grew infectious as the Jedi Knight felt himself smiling at Zemira every few minutes or so. "Alright, got me. I'll just have to think of a new ice breaker." Cas shrugged while smirking at her.

Zemira revealed how she was holding up since Charros IV, she seemed to be more upfront with him than he was with her, he felt bad but he appreciated her honesty. Being trained by Sakadi resulted in Cas keeping his emotions buried and neglecting to open up to anyone, only really allowing them to escape during combat - which, his old Master wouldn't have approved of in the slightest. "Yeah..." Cas uttered "It doesn't get any easier but... you start to learn to push it back. Still figuring out if that's healthy or not - my old Master, Sakadi, would have approved though." he joked.

A side hug was... unexpected, but it was appreciated. Returning it, Cas wrapped his arm around her upper back, hooking his fingers around her upper bicep "It will be... if that cocktail is as good as you made it look." the Kiffar quipped as he released his grip from her. Cas then turned his back "Let's go to the bar, you can buy me one." Cas kicked himself off the railing, returning his hands to his pockets and spun around to face Zemira as he continued walking backward, cheekily winking at her.

Zemira

 

[Zemira]

Zemira gave a solemn nod in agreement with his sentiments on the difficult memories they held but the name of his master sparked a memory within her. "Oh, I met her once! She's nice. I respect her a lot." She replied before her thoughts turned to her own former master. It pained her to do so but beneath the last memories she had of him were the fond memories she had of their time together and all he had taught her - a smile formed on her lips as she thought of them with a distant gaze momentarily before being drawn back to reality.

The Knight laughed and shook her head at Cas before walking towards him. "Okay, okay." She agreed, following him to the bar. She realised her cheeks were hot and not from the sun with the amount of sun protection she wore but from the unexpected feeling of butterflies that she got when hugging Cas. He had become her closest friend in recent times and she cared about him deeply but she had never considered thinking of him any differently until that moment. It was a strange feeling. She tried to shake it off.

Once at the bar, she took a seat, ordered two more of the cocktails and handed one to Cas. Under the shade of the bar, she took off the hat and sunglasses, realising the white blob of cream on the sunglasses. "Oh." She said, reaching to her nose to rub in the remains of the cream properly. "So... Cassalius..." She took a sip of her drink and gave him a playful smirk, seeing the opportunity to use his full name for the first time. "How are you liking Jedi life now? It's a pity they don't show this on the brochure." She joked.

"Kinda wished I'd learned to swim though." She told him, glancing longingly at the pool for a moment. "I usually skipped those lessons." She said, revealing her often rebellious nature as a Padawan. In Knighthood, she had mellowed out to be a more well-rounded person but there could still be a rebellious streak at times. Given that she was on her fourth cocktail, she was being more talkative and free with information than usual. "My Dad could never teach me. There aren't many swimming pools in space." She chuckled.

Realising she was rambling on, she quickly tried to change the topic. "Er so what do you think of the drink? Good, right?" She asked enthusiastically.

Cadere

 

[Cadere]

Trying to be the gentlemanly type, Cas allowed Zemira to take her seat first before finding a seat beside her. Swivelling in his seat, he turned to face her and watched with a teasing smile as she rubbed the sunscreen into her nose, feeling a warmth in his chest every time he looked at her. This was awful, Cas was well aware of his chances with someone like Zemira - pretty much zero. The young Jedi Knight kicked himself for always striking above his league.

"Cassalius" made him visibly cringe, shuddering, Cas reached for his glass "That was a low blow." he retorted, hovering the rim of the glass under his lips before taking a sip. His gaze then returned to the Hapan's features he was so mesmerised by, smirking at her, his mouth opened to answer Zemira's question "If Jedi life was nothing but nice weather, endless cocktails and lazing around? I might never complain about anything ever again." he snickered. Zemira's comment about being unable to swim caught him off-guard, earning her a surprised expression as conveyed by the sudden widening in Cas' eyes. Zemira was nothing but capable in his eyes, so to find out she didn't know how to swim was shocking indeed.

He continued to listen, watching her keenly and with a soft smile of endearment. Cas quite easily clocked the nature of her question about the cocktail, electing to ignore it Cas outright stated "Y'know, I can teach you to swim if you want. The arm's water proof." he gestured to his cybernetic left arm, pointing at it with his right arm. "My parents had me and my sister training for all kinds of things growing up, trying to make us the best Guardians we could be. I guess swimming counted toward that, or whatever?" Cas jested.

"And yes, the cocktail's pretty damn good. Might turn me into an alcoholic." he quipped, scanning the glass before taking another sip. Letting the tastes marinate inside his mouth for a few seconds, he released a pleased sigh before continuing to talk "Tell me about your time with your dad." he asked, leaning sideways against the bar. Zemira was quite reserved when it came to her past prior to joining the Silver Jedi, over the few months of getting to know each other, Cas only knew the bare essentials. But, as someone who he cared for and had feelings for, he was curious to find out more.

Zemira

 

[Zemira]

"I've been waiting so long to use that." She smirked but her gaze shifted elsewhere, seemingly distracted and unfocused largely because of the several drinks. However, she was soon focused on him again when he addressed her. "Yeah, me neither. I'm not sure becoming a soldier in a war is my idea of a good job." She replied, wistfully.

Being a smuggler wasn't known for its health and safety benefits either but she had never found herself on the frontline of a war while accompanying her smuggler father. She had always been a loyal follower of the Jedi Order but her view was becoming more tainted the longer the war dragged on. She had never wanted to be drafted into an army against her will. She may have had the ability to help others but she didn't want to fear for her own life and the life of her friends every day.

Still, she opted not to dwell, though she had somewhat less command over her wandering mind now. "It's so embarrassing." She shook her head and smiled shyly. "A waterproof arm? What ever will they think of next?" She joked, clearly a lot more chatty than her usual self, or at least more confident. "Makes sense." She admitted with a thoughtful look momentarily before returning back to her drink.

She continued to happily sip her drink until his following question caught her off guard. A smile formed on her lips as she returned to the happy memories that formed a large part of her childhood. "We always had so much fun, even if it was dangerous at times." She started, placing the drink down to focus her attention on Cas and the conversation which was on a topic she held close to her heart. "But I always felt safe with him." She smiled fondly at the memory. "I was never meant to be a Jedi. The temple was just some glorified orphanage they sent me to after my father got arrested. It means more to me now but... I don't know..." She trailed off, her mind wandering elsewhere.

"It's so hot." She complained, making a fruitless effort at fanning herself with her hands. With such little experience with alcohol, no one had told her she needed to stay hydrated as well, though it quickly became apparent. She put a hand to her forehead and rested her elbow against the bar. "Can I have a glass of water, please?" She asked the bartender when she got his attention.

Cadere

 

[Cadere]

Cas was slightly taken aback by Zemira's statement, causing him to blink in surprise, she didn't seem to keen on the current war or being part of it. The Kiffar was gung ho to fight, not for the thrill of it but because he wanted to put an end to the Bryn's threat, attaining justice for the lives lost. But to think other Jedi weren't of the same mind as him, particularly Zemira, was a bit of a wake up call.

Slightly worried about bringing up her father and her past, he then released a breath of relief he didn't know he was holding when his eyes caught the smile form on her face. As she talked about her childhood Cas couldn't help but smile, it was nice to see her happy - Zemira had seemed so stressed lately. However, his smile quickly faltered when Zemira's feelings about the Jedi were mentioned. The Kiffar wondered if she was having second thoughts about her role as a Jedi, and if it was the war that brought this on? Or maybe... some part of her always felt this way. Regardless... Zemira seemed to be in a good mood, he didn't want to ruin it by pressing her for more information.

"It is? Hadn't noticed." Cas said in a teasing tone, leaning on the bar Cas took another sip of his drink "Can't handle your drink?" he paused for a moment. Cas glanced around the deck for a few seconds before returning his attention to the bar once more, biting his lip gently, he wasn't sure if it was liquid courage - but for some weird reason, he felt the urge to want to get his feelings off his chest. Once Zemira had received her water, the Jedi nudged his fellow Knight gently with his shoulder "Wanna get outta here? There's something I wanna tell you."

If the Hapan agreed, he'd gesture for her to follow him with his mechno arm and get up from the bar. He'd had in mind to bring her somewhere private but with a nice view of Truuine's ocean. As he did, butterflies fluttered aggressively in his abdomen and his palm began to sweat - Cas had fought against crime lords, Sith, Bryn and still had never felt this nervous before. Thankfully, the viewing deck was empty - everyone must have been enjoying the weather.

Cas stood in front of the window, looking out towards the ocean for a few seconds. Clearing his throat nervously, Cas spun on his heel and faced Zemira. The Kiffar began fiddling with his fingers nervously as he stammered trying to find the right words to say "So... I-I'm never normally at a loss for words like this..." he cleared his throat again, covering his mouth with a fist. "Oh, man..." this was going to be a disaster...

Zemira

 

[Zemira]

It was at conflict with her morals, her desire to protect those who couldn't protect themselves contrasted directly with her desire to flee from war. She was not an inherently selfish person but to put your life on the line so many times with no respite was draining and with every battle she grew more fearful that it would be her last. She wanted justice, peace and safety as much as any other Jedi, but she had never expected to become a soldier to achieve it.

However, being a Jedi was almost all she knew, aside from smuggling which wasn't known for its safety either. At least smuggling was only as dangerous as you made it. She hadn't seriously considered leaving but it was a thought she sometimes pondered over. Her last battle against the Bryn'adul had been harrowing and there seemed to be no end in sight. Even when the Concord wasn't being attacked, they needed to uphold their promise to liberate occupied worlds and return them to their rightful owners.

"Whaaat? No." She replied, an amused smile on her lips. Once the bartender passed her the glass of water she took a long gulp of the drink before turning to Cas when he spoke to her. "Oh?" She replied, her curiosity peaked. "Yeah, sure." She quickly finished the drink and placed the empty glass on the bar before rising to follow him.

Once they reached their apparent location, she took a moment to appreciate the view. It was an escape from the horrors of war. Her gaze lazily wandered back to Cas with a smile which turned to a look of concern upon noticing his nervousness which was similarly tangible through the Force. "What is it?" She asked, concern evident in her tone. Had something bad happened? Her mind searched for an answer before he gave one but all were bad. She didn't once stop to consider the reason for his concern was for a positive reason. "You can tell me." She reached out for his hand in an attempt at reassuring him.

Cadere

 

[Cadere]

It was now or never, formed sentences turned into mindless babbling every time he looked into the Hapan's blue eyes. Cas' nervousness and frankly, terror, reverberated through the Force - so much so, he wasn't even aware he was doing it. "Awwwww man!" Cas grunted while nervously rubbing the back of his neck, his heart accelerated when he felt her skin connected with his hand. Reactively, he pulled his hand a way and balled both into fists at his side, all the while inflating his cheeks and inhaling deeply.

"Zemira, I think you're pretty cool. So much so that I think I have feelings for you, romantic ones. Oh, who am I kidding, I completely have feelings for you. You're witty, funny, intelligent, brave, a solid fighter, handle my crap like a pro and just a roundabout great Jedi Knight. You make me feel things I haven't felt in years. I've liked you for a while now but I've been fighting my feelings for you, too scared to ruin our friendship. Its good, its nice, I value it. But man, I can't keep my feelings buried anymore. Especially after spending so much time together the past few days! Sooooo... yeah." he said all in one breath at the speed of a starfighter. Cas took in another deep breath, expending all of his oxygen trying to get his feelings out in one go.

Cas then sighed before groaning and pinching the bridge of his nose. He'd just ruined everything. From his early days training as a Jedi Padawan, his instructers and even Sakadi had all told him how much he wore his heart on his sleeve, how emotional he was. To be honest, he never cared, Cas always thought it was something that separated him from the regular Jedi but now he was thinking differently.

He truly valued his friendship with Zemira, knowing that if he couldn't enter a romantic relationship with her, he was fine with remaining just friends. Having her in his life was a blessing enough. "Ugh, I'm sorry... I just didn't want any secrets between us. Let's just... go back and enjoy our time off, yeah?" Cas plastered a smile on his face, pretending to be over the situation, although his eyes and presence within the Force would tell a completely different story.

Zemira

 

[Zemira]

The Jedi tried to offer a reassuring smile to ease him into whatever it was he was about to tell her but judging by his nervousness, she was beginning to have an idea what it was that he was trying to get out and she couldn't say she blamed his nervousness but little did he know, he had nothing to worry about. She was, however, a little nervous herself when he pulled his hand away. Was she misreading the situation?

It would quickly become apparent that that wasn't the case.

While not a naturally boastful person, she couldn't help it as a smile began to grow on her face as he spoke highly of her, followed promptly by a growing blush in her cheeks. She understood his concerns about not wanting to risk ruining their friendship but he would soon learn that that was far from the case.

It wasn't long after his confession that it seemed his insecurity began to creep in. "Cas..." She smiled and gently placed a hand on his cheek. "Do me a favour and shut up." She told him before leaning in and planting her lips against his, confirming that she shared similar feelings for him.

"For a long time, I didn't know what love was but I was sure I had found it in you in some way or another. Like you say, it began with our friendship and I quickly came to care about you. In time... It was more than caring. I wanted to spend time with you. That's why I invited you here. You're a good person, even if it doesn't always come out right, and you continue to inspire me to be the best person I can be." She removed her hand from his face and dropped it down to take his hand in hers.

"There's no one else I'd rather be here with."

Cadere