What I've Done

[Keira Priest]

Corellia​

Dead Poet - Bar​

​

This had been the quietest place she could find, and Keira wasn't sure if that was an entirely good thing yet. Of course, quiet itself was subjective, as there had been a handful of brawls already. However, none had escalated to a deadly end, which said something. If someone had tried something she likely would have stepped in, and there was only one reason for that: her younger sister was with her. Now, the Ticons weren't the most tightly knit family unit, and it had been a few years since any of them had been in constant contact, but that didn't seem to diminish any bonds in the least. If anything it only strengthened them, a peculiarity of their own culture or perhaps their name alone. Regardless, she cared deeply for her sibling, even if most would have thought her incapable of such a thing.

A bar probably wasn't the best place to play catch-up as far as personal affairs such as this went, but she didn't think her sibling was quite ready to travel to the Atin'yaim just yet. Hell, she wasn't even aware her older sister had been adopted into the Mandalorians, much less signed on with a group that were the Mandalorian Crusaders reincarnate. That was information best saved for when they could sit down face-to-face, and that was what she was trying to do now. 'Trying' was the key word, as she had never been the best at instigating these sorts of conversations. For a short time they had been joined by a small group of other Corellians, and that had diffused the awkward tension for a little while. But even that band had left, and her uncertainty as to how to begin resumed once more.

"I'm sorry." Depending on one's point of view, an apology was either the best or worst ways to open up any kind of discussion. Since when had she ever cared? "I'm sorry about never being around or trying to talk, and making a pretty sorry excuse for an older sister overall. There's nothing I can say that can fix all of this, and I'm not going to try and justify not being there." War made things difficult, but far from impossible. If she could maintain a family with a husband and two children, then she could at the very least reach out to her sister as well. But she had always been the sort to make amends too late, thinking of all the right things to do and say when it was far too late to make good on any of them. No one could say she never tried, but oftentimes that wasn't enough.

The fingers on her right hand twitched just slightly, and she stifled a sigh. I could use cigarette. But again, the one thing that halted her was the presence of her sister. Besides, narcotics weren't her only option anymore. She was better than she used to be, after all, even if she didn't feel like it some days. This was what family was for, or so the saying commonly went. "I know you're probably wondering about it all. About what happens to keep me so busy. Why I am the way I am." Finally, she looked to her sister. "You can go ahead and ask."

[member="Tabitha Ticon"]

 

[Beowoof]

It was the first time she had been to Corellia since... well, the last time, when everyone they could manage to evacuate was brought off this uniquely marked world.

Naturally her sister--in full-blooded Corellian spirit--would choose to reconnect at a bar. And while that was not shocking to her in the least, the youngest Ticon would be lying if she claimed to have actually drunk anything at one of these places. There were Corellians, and then there were those who just were born and raised here. She was just Tabby from the Coronet Valley. And to this day, there were still those Ticons who wondered if her father was really their father. Then again, it could be said that she had no father at all.

What really irritated her about this cantina was not the fact that she had just witnessed a pair of bar fights, nor was it the fact that there was a variety of dubious 'cigarettes' being smoked, nor was it the fact that she could ask the bartender for the heaviest of alcohols and he probably would give it to her without looking at her ID. No, the bother was this: Why anyone would want to name their bar the "Dead Poet". It was simply beyond Tabitha's reasoning. How many dead poets could there be, anyway? Probably hundreds, right?

The darkening blonde's very deep thoughts about naming convention were interrupted by her sister's initiation of whatever conversation they were supposed to be having. "It's okay," she soothed. That was not exactly how she felt, but far be it for Tabitha to criticize her siblings. (Well, not in front of them, anyway.) Sure, she had been shuffled from Keira to Nic to Dani and all about, but this was her family. Having a sister like the one sitting here with her was better than not having one at all. "You're like a mom now."

Then Keira went further, offering to satiate any curiosities Tabitha might have about her mysterious career. Or maybe even why she had left the family in the first place, leaving Tabby to figure out her own world and become... Tabby. Why? was as good a question as any to start out with. But Keira had already offered before, when they first reunited. Either out of fear or simply because she was too immersed in the euphoria of the moment, her little sister had neglected to follow up on that.

And now, with such a backdrop and verbal approach as this, Tabitha was not sure she did want to know. Her skull may have been as thick as her crammed wardrobe, but she could read into her older sister's demeanor this time. Stirring her carbonated drink and looking down, she bit. "So, like... why?"

Then she spotted something. "Oh-Em-Gee!" she exclaimed. "Like, why didn't anyone tell me I had this stain on my pants? This is like, totally embarrassing."

[member="Keira Ticon"]

 

[Keira Priest]

An explanation was on her lips when Tabitha interrupted by being, well, Tabitha. The Ticons wouldn't be such a unique family without someone like her within their ranks, and it was bound to happen sooner or later. In some sense the outburst was welcome, as it helped to relieve a fraction of the tension that had been building up until this moment. Still, Keira couldn't help but sigh quietly and shake her head with a smile, if just for the simple fact that this moment was so very Tabby that no other word could be put to it. "I think you'll be fine." Of course, this was likely a disaster of momentous proportions in the eyes of her sibling. It wasn't as if there weren't more pants exactly like that in the same store she had bought those from. That would just be too easy.

Once her sister was finished dealing with the crisis that was the stain, she would again consider the best way to approach such a difficult subject. But tact had never been her strong suit. "There's the long and short version to this, but I suppose we're not here to keep avoiding talking about things." Which brought about the question of why she was doing just that. Maybe she cared more about other's opinions and view of her than she would admit, and maybe a part of her wanted to preserve her sister from the horrors she had endured. In reality it was a little bit of both. "The answer to 'why' depends on what you want to know, but it's not exactly a happy answer. This isn't a fairy-tale with any kind of happy ending."

Wordlessly she shrugged off her leather jacket to fully expose the phrik plating of her cybernetic arm, the burn scar cutting diagonally down her throat now fully visible as well. These were but two of a veritable map of scars across her body, but they were telling of two of the biggest turning points in her life. "All of these scars that I have aren't here because of some accident. Nine times out of ten it's because someone was doing their best to make sure I didn't walk away, and they weren't quite fast enough. I'm not the person who has any happy, uplifting stories to tell about their life. Or, well, at least not too many." She attempted a smile. "I do have you, after all, Tabby Kat." And maybe that was enough.

For a moment she busied herself with folding her jacket in half and setting it next to her in the booth. "It's up to you which parts you want to hear. All of it or just some. I won't push anything, because that's not my place. I'm just the person with a story to tell. You're the one who's going to be listening to it." There was a sort of naive innocence about the galaxy Tabitha held that she wasn't willing to shatter completely, but its pristine surface had to be cracked in some manner for the sake of simple survival. It was safe to say that sitting across from her was no doubt the most sheltered of the Ticon clan, and that came as both a blessing and a curse. Right now, for better or worse, that was about to change.

[member="Tabitha Ticon"]

 

[Beowoof]

Despite Keira's half-hearted consolations, Tabitha still was in utter dismay at just how ruined her pants were because of this annoying little splotch on one of the thighs. What had people been thinking about her all this time? They probably thought she was homeless or something. "This is like, the worst," she groaned, trying in vain to miraculously scratch the stain out of the weave with her nails. After half a minute, the blonde finally conceded defeat and dejectedly rested her elbows on the tabletop.

Whenever someone introduced a topic by saying there were long and short versions of the story, Tabitha immediately and unashamedly prayed that the short option would be selected--unless the subject elaborated on every detail of some form of gossip or development in fashion. However, this time was different. It was hard to ignore any conversation when someone unsheathes a robotic arm and unveils a collection of scars. What had happened to her poor sister? "Oh... my... gosh..." Fairytale or not, Tabitha wanted to know who did this to her own family.

"K... What happened to you, K?" She could barely speak. Even when she did manage to rasp a shaky whisper, her lips hardly moved. "Sis... Do we need to call the police? Or... someone..." Normally elated to be called by her pet name, Keira's use of the affectionate title went unnoticed this time. The way "Tabby Kat" saw it, her sister was in desperate need of help.

[member="Keira Ticon"]

 

[Keira Priest]

The abject terror in her sister's voice that barely grazed the threshold of a whisper instantly caused her to regret so much as thinking this was for the best, and she would have abandoned the effort altogether, had she not known that Tabitha would likely pursue the topic relentlessly until she received a satisfactory response now that so much had been revealed. Unfortunately, that satisfactory response would likely only leave Tabitha all the more concerned as to her personal safety. But there wasn't really any way to skirt around things, and some part of her didn't really want to. It felt good to speak out about what had happened to her to someone, even if that someone was her younger sister who didn't truly understand much of it.

All she could manage was a very slight smile of a grim nature when it came to the question of contacting the authorities. "You don't call the cops for someone like me. The only place that would land me is in prison myself. I've got a criminal record long enough that they'll ignore whatever trouble I'm in." That tended to happen when, instead of leaving the family business behind, she had only changed the game a bit in terms of what criminal syndicates she affiliated herself with. "I want you to know that I've done a lot of bad things in my life. Enough to deserve some of what happened to me. That doesn't excuse all of it, but it adds a new understanding." Or, at least, the most understanding she was able to give.

For a short while she looked over her cybernetic limb, flexing the fingers and watching as it moved, it seeming separated from her own will in that moment. "This is a fairly straightforward tale. Well, it is the first time I lost it. Long story short, going up against a Gen'Dai wasn't my smartest decision, and he left me with this as a parting gift. The second go around is a bit..." What was the best way to describe torture? "It's not quite so clean cut, we'll say." That wasn't even the half of it, truth be told. "I was captured by a Yuuzhan Vong warlord, and this was what he decided to leave me with. This, and my leg," Reaching down she knocked lightly on the metal of her right leg, "Among other things."

Leaning back, she crossed her arms across her chest. "The scar is a nicer story. To put it simply, I confronted a friend about something personal when we should have just talked things out, and it escalated. I broke his rib, and he gave me this. A fair enough trade, and what was deserved for the both of us." Only then did she seem to truly look at her sister, having finished weaving both stories in what was mostly their entirety. "That's really all there is to say about the both of these, and it's not even the half of it all. But I don't want to burden you with any more if you'd rather leave it at that."

[member="Tabitha Ticon"]

 

[Beowoof]

She wanted it all to be some kind of cruel joke. As little comprehension as she may have had for the way things were in this galaxy, Tabitha was acute enough to realize just how critical the things Keira was saying to her were. All this time she had known her sister, she had never so much as conceived of the idea that she was anything like this bionic... creature. It was a horribly superficial and prejudiced way to think about it, but Tabitha could no longer see her sibling and role model in the light she had fabricated. Still, she fought with the wraiths in her head, trying to steal that beautiful imagery back instead of this callous figure taking over. It's not real.

The things Keira said--awful things. It had to be exaggerated--all of it--and yet the physical proof was all there. Her sister no longer appeared completely human, in both body and spirit. She looked like some hideous foreign being come to possess what good was left in the universe. "You're not bad," the younger woman insisted, lips trembling upon each word; lungs heaving with each breath. She reached across the table for Keira's more natural hand but recoiled at the touch. Nothing was right about this. None of it was true. "You're not bad, Keira. Stop telling me--"

As wrong as it may have been, Tabitha would have to admit that she loved the family sitting before her more than any of the others. She had never attached herself to someone so completely; admired someone so much in spite of the few flaws she may have recognized. Keira was the angel she clung to. And it was breaking her heart to imagine that her sister was anything like the monster she was insinuating. "We need to help you, K." Her eyes began to fog, pleading desperately for her dark-haired blood to take everything back. It was all a lie; a joke; an embellishment of the quieter truth. It had to be. Her father was not a crimelord, and neither was her beloved sister. "You're not a criminal. You're my sister. Not a criminal..."

If her sister was not going to lie to her, then maybe Tabby was going to lie to herself.

[member="Keira Ticon"]

 

[Keira Priest]

"Tabitha, I--" Maybe this was all doomed from the start. If the trauma was still difficult for her to rationalize, Keira could only imagine what her sister thought of it, though it was written plainly on her face. Chit. She ran a hand through her hair, restraining herself from punching a hole in the nearest wall. But the damage had been done, and there was no turning back now. "I might not be bad, but I'm not good either. Whether you like it or not, it's the truth." That might have been more callous than was called for, but she had never been one to gloss over things, least of all her past. Sure, she might not touch on it wholly most times, but never did she believe in skirting around a subject. What had happened did, and that was both the beginning and end of things.

The table shifted slightly under the grip of her cybernetic she hadn't been aware had been there in the first place, and as her hand released a good portion of the wood splintered away and fell to the floor. That was a more physical manifestation of her emotion, and one she regretted nearly instantaneously, knowing it would only frighten her sister further. "There's no helping me." Her voice was low and remorseful, and she refused to meet her younger sibling's gaze. "Can't you see that? I'm not the kind of person people want to help, or be with, or talk to. I'm just another disaster waiting to happen, and I don't want to take you down with me." Her jaw clenched, and she swallowed a rising thread of emotion as it threatened to overtake her.

"I'm sorry, Tabby." Her cybernetic hand clenched to a fist, if just to prevent more damage being done. "I'm sorry this isn't the perfect family you wanted."

[member="Tabitha Ticon"]

 

[Beowoof]

"Frahino." Her voice audibly tremored upon the sound of wood fracturing and colliding with the floor, but she kept her eyes to her sister's in spite of the further discomfort. No matter what awful truth lay behind those scars, Keira had always had them for as long as Tabitha had known her. This was no imposter, nor was she significantly any worse off than she had been prior. The bionic arm was truly the most alarming asset, however, and Tabitha could no longer discern if she should express terror or pity because of it.

Yet even the burgeoning fear inside of her could not snap the bond she felt. "But I love you..." The blonde swiped against her cheeks firmly, smearing the black drops of mascara-concentrated water that were silently trickling down her face. Her breaths remained thick and uneven, but she managed to keep them hushed enough to avoid attracting attention from everyone around. She felt vulnerable enough as it was. The last thing she needed was for all of Corellia to notice her emotional state.

"You're like the best family I have, Keira." A troubled sister was better than no sister at all. She would have done anything for the woman sitting across from her. There was not a soul in the galaxy more dear to Tabitha, and this new image was simply not the one she cared for. She just wanted to be happy together. Why did Keira have to smother that? "I love you."

[member="Keira Ticon"]

 

[Keira Priest]

"Sel ne." The fingers of her cybernetic twitched before closing into a fist tight enough to break bone, muscles of her jaw taughtening as her eyes misted over. This was becoming too much, and Keira cursed quietly as tears began cutting silent trails down her face. Reaching up with one hand she wiped them away, shaking her head. After a moment she pulled out her matte black military-issue dog tags, lifting them up over her head and holding them in her hand for a moment. "And I love you too. None of this changes that, Tabby. Nothing ever will." Rare was it for such a hardened warrior to become sentimental so easily, but it was only family and those she considered as such that were capable of breaking her down so easily.

Her dog tags clinked together as she ran a finger over her name and former rank within the Republic engraved in the surface, along with her identification number. Finally she slid them across the table to her sister, not offering any explanation for a moment as she considered how figuratively worthless the necklace was after her abandoning the Republic, though the family she found there was priceless by itself. "I used to serve in the Republic military, so it's not like all of this is impossible to grasp or unexplainable." It's just that most of it happened to be. But it was apparent Tabby was having a difficult enough time processing everything as it was, and she didn't want to exacerbate that fact.

Wordlessly she extended her right hand across the table in an invitation for her younger sibling to take it if she so chose. "Nothing about who I am has changed. It's just been brought to light in a way that usually doesn't happen, and even though you probably didn't want to know, you were going to hear about things sooner or later. I know I'm beginning to sound like a broken record, but it's true. I don't exactly have many admirers in the greater galaxy." To say the least. Even that was understated, as everything about this conversation had been thus far.

[member="Tabitha Ticon"]

 

[Beowoof]

"You were in a war?" Tabitha had always known her sister was involved with the military in a training sort of role. But there had never been any actual involvement with battles that she was privy to in the time she had known her older sister. Now all the scars made sense. "I'm sorry, Keira. Like, that must have been terrible." She must have been a hero!

"But you're not a bad person for being in a war. Like, lots of people are in wars." Tabitha scooped up the dog tags and took a glance at the avian crest of the Galactic Republic engraved on the backs. She may not have excelled in... well, much of anything in school. But she sure knew what the emblem of the Republic looked like. She had pledged her allegiance to its government after being evacuated from the Protectorate's crumbling territories. (It was what she had been told to do.) "And you fought for the Republic, so, like, you were a good guy. And look at these medals they gave you!" She strung the tags to her finger by their chains and raise them off the table, admiring their simple metallic structure and studying the few scratches as if the objects were rare artifacts. Was the shinier one a medal of honor? Obviously Keira was a talented and virtuous soldier. No wonder she had not been able to keep up on the trends!

The flaxen-haired Ticon took her big sister's hand and squeezed it softly while trying to squint away the remainder of her tears. Everything would be okay, right? This was all just a poorly handled scare. "I think you're literally totally rad. I just wish you'd stop, like, being all mad about yourself. You're great."

[member="Keira Ticon"]