What should I be?

[Allya Vi'Dreya]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvUeqRwWorM​

Location: Kashyyyk, Silver's Rest
Tag: [member="Josh Dragonsflame"]

She had just returned from spending some much needed time with Jerek. He was always her source of light in this dark galaxy...and even more he lit up the darkness inside her. However, their time was always so short lately. It was understandable, but it left her conflicted, and confused a lot. However, it was not fair to burden Jerek more than she already had. The teen knew she needed help. Her mind was so filled with doubts, and agony. Recently she had been the one who had killed tens of thousands of her own people, the Mando'ade. It ate at her soul, even if she understood it, and it made sense.

They were paying the price for their foolishness having followed that woman who led them to their own destruction. But understanding didn't make the ache in her heart go away. And it didn't lessen the pride and arrogance that flowed through her. She had felt fear once, but even then she had found victory. She had denied the one who was stronger than her his goal, and since that moment had gotten much more powerful and experienced. \

Her duties as a soldier had made getting proper training...difficult. Holocrons, databanks, and the occasional lesson here and there from various masters of light and dark side abilities had been the main source of her growth in the force. While force growth had been slower, her practical experience of using it, and of mixing it with technology had been intense. Even now, she was in the process of making the third incarnation of her armor, and it was going to be a doozy, covering many weaknesses she had found.

And yet....none of this eased her heart. She was close to slipping back to the hatred, and anger. She was a warrior-prince, she grew up believing the galaxy was hers, hers to protect....hers to rule. Jerek had helped so much to push it down, but, it wasn't enough. Allya desperately needed someone who could help teach her how to better control her emotions. Someone who slipped between the light and dark himself, someone who understood how fragile the balance was. Allya was not light, but she utilized the darkness for the purpose of good. It made her even more fragile. And then, there had been the dreams...they had begun to eat at her.

It was this that brought her to Kashyyyk, to find the one man she trusted, respected, and knew even in her arrogance, she would listen to. She had to, while she still had time. As the Unyielding Faith landed, and the boarding ramp lowered, she moved off towards the Rest, helmet clipped to her belt. Her dark cloak flowed around her as she moved through the forested ground and up the steps of the grand building.

She checked in with the guards, and soon found herself in the training yard. Her dark eyes quickly found the object of her search. Josh was busy training in the yard. The man never rested, why should he? He had his own demons he was running from, and enemies that came at him from all sides. It was always impressive how he could move. Allya leaned against a wall for a bit, and watched him with some of the padawans, and waited. She could afford to be patient.

As was the normal, as padawans gathered in the training yard, they made sure to keep a wide birth from Allya. It made sense, they were Jedi, and while many here were gray Jedi, Allya was a Darksider. The darkside oozed from her, and she was unabashed and unashamed of it. But it was a hard monster to keep under control.

Finally, when Josh was finished, the girl moved through the swarms of students, sparing matches and meditating bodies with the grace of a dancer. One would forget that under her cloak she was clad head to toe in heavy Beskar armor.

As she went up to the tall man, she placed her right hand on the left side of her chested and bowed. “Master Dragonsflame. I need some help.” Her voice was soft, and shook a bit which showed the fragile state the girl was truly in.

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

Everyone had demons, for nobody was perfect. Even Josh had his own. Yet in the twirl of his blade as the Jedi Master moved through with a grace unlike what a man of his size should be exhibiting, his demons felt nonexistent. He felt tranquil, at peace in the heart of battle as he imagined one opponent around him after another. It was a strange thing, to feel tranquility, and solace in battle of all things... But battle was what he knew. Battle was what he was good at. At the end of a series of movements, a second lightsaber flew from his belt into his hand, letting out a snap-hiss as the blue blade activated for a finishing combination, both blades being used to cut downward in a pattern that indicated he was aiming for the sides.

While he could always have trained on the ship, there was something about the open air that felt more... Real. As he opened his eyes though, he realized that he had seemingly attracted an audience. Deciding to call it here, he let out a deep exhale and bowed to the Padawans around him. Though he was surprised when he would be called out to by a familiar voice, though also alarmed by the uncharacteristic tone of it.

It had been some time since he and his former Padawan Asaraa had each taken in students, Jerek and Allya. While Jerek had been burying himself in his studies as of late, so Josh knew what he was up to, his partner was not someone that Josh knew the status of. It was rather unusual for a Jedi to teach a Dark Side user, but Asaraa had taken up the challenge. Yet Josh couldn't help but wonder how that had gone. Asaraa was still new to taking apprentices after all, and she had picked the worst student to start with, no offense to either of them. This was not a challenge that would be easy for Asaraa. And perhaps not the easiest challenge for Allya either.

Clearly something wasn't going well for her to be like this. He decided not to bring attention to her condition around the Padawans in order to spare her pride, and merely motioned with his head for her to follow. Once they were out of earshot of the others, he kept walking but made another motion that she might begin when she was ready.

[member="Allya Vi'Dreya"]