Private What the Student Learns

[Kai Bamarri]

Poor little Bamarri. You remember what it was like to not be hungry, don't you?...​

He didn't know the name of the planet he was on, and he didn't particularly care. It was far away from the Core, a verdant, wild world tucked away in a remote region of the galaxy. The trees provided ample cover, and the stones gave him shelter, and the waters fed him.

Claws thrust down into the river, plucking a fish from the current. It wriggled in his grasp as he lay it upon a flat rock. A quick slice of his sharpened finger stilled its movements amid a shower of gore. He ate it raw and whole, scales and all.

The creature that crouched on the riverbed had abandoned most of his more civilized traits. He wore no clothing, but then his body was largely featureless, so there was nothing to be ashamed of. He was hairless, earless, and his eyes had sealed shut as if in eternal sleep. Tiny nostrils let him breathe, and his mouth would appear and disappear as needed, his flesh splitting whenever he ate. His skin was smooth and unblemished, though colors sometimes shifted across the surface, to camouflage him or express some emotion he could not hide.

His presence in the Force was Dark and corrupted, yet he lacked the flamboyant bombast of other Sithspawn, and his mindlessness was clearly put-on. He'd come here to stop thinking, to forget, to be washed clean, as if regressing back to a primitive, feral state could erase all that he had done and all that he had become since a certain well-meaning Jedi had rescued him from the wilderness.

But sometimes, Kai remembered. And when he did, his anguish throbbed into the space around him like blood from an open wound, tainting the purity of an otherwise virgin world that had not known such mortal griefs. Fallen as he was, he knew he couldn't linger long in paradise—nor could he face the ones waiting for him back on Coruscant. So he sat by the river and kept fishing.

Asha Hex​

 

[Asha Sar'andor]

She came upon the being with such softness that her presence was left feeling fleeting and passive, somewhat akin to a bird in flight. The warm and verdant jungles of S'krrr brought her back to a time long before, when she had known friendships like no other among likeminded individuals who sought to thrive within the limitless confines of the Force; it was in essence a reminder of Aurum, that world of mystery and wonder which now held only the memories of those she had lost along the way. Though so far removed from one another, as she traversed the underbelly of this tropical landscape she could not help but find snippets of them throughout. Jyn, and Lothar, and Ignis, and Sahna... All of them gone; some to the farthest reaches of the Galaxy, and some to the Netherworld of the Force.​

​

The grief which stirred within her at such thoughts was reciprocated in kind by the one she now observed; a different cause no doubt had driven it to such a state, but the root of it was ultimately universally binding. Yet where she found serenity in grace and acceptance of her emotions, the other had succumbed to anguish; to look upon it brought no small amount of empathy, and Asha's heart ached with perceived burden. The Force had led her to this place in time, as it was often want to do, though unlike her previous venture at its behest this time she had informed Cotan Sar'andor of her sequester and the reason for it ahead of time. No rushing off into the unknown, leaving him confused, and frustrated, and wondering. No stealing away his ship.​

​

No pressing urgency had presented itself this time, it was not a life or death situation; that had made it easier to plan for. She had brought her own vessel Pilgrim down to land away from the immediate surroundings of the being lost to primality, intent on a slowness of approach. One could not rush such things, to force another back from their wildness without thought to how it might impact them was unacceptable and dangerous; she would not risk the shattering of its mind. So, to begin with, she had merely observed. The way in which its body morphed and shifted to accommodate its needs had been both fascinating and devastating to behold, such a clear window into the sentience and intelligence of the one who lay locked within its regressed state.​

​

One could not dawdle forever, though. Knowing some of its habits by now, she found it on the shore of a bountiful river and therein made her approach. Careful, quiet, yet purposely lacking the hunting spirit which was known to grip predators, she came upon the brook downwind of the being. Therein she turned to face it, and lowered herself to a crouch within the loamy riverbank. The Force gently pooled out from around her, wispy tendrils seeking to bridge the gap between them on just a surface level as she allowed it to sense her presence there. Serenity and calm, assurance that she brought no danger with her... The faintest offer of support.​

​

And through it, she sought to measure the other's response.​

​

Kai Bamarri ​

 

[Kai Bamarri]

Kai froze, sensing another presence nearby. He could immediately tell it was neither predator nor prey. The mind which shared the space with him was civilized; it belonged to a being who clothed themselves in woven linen.

He stood up slowly, rising to an impressive height. A bit of blood smeared his face where his mouth remained agape, like an open zipper ringed with stained teeth. He hoped to frighten off any random traveler who might've accidentally stumbled upon him.

But the woman—it was a woman, he realized—didn't back off. Instead, she beckoned to him in a way. It was a faint call, an offering... of what?

The gory mouth remained slack, but no sound came from it as he "spoke".

<What do you want from me?>

Asha Hex​

 

[Asha Sar'andor]

Standing to its full height, the other being opted for a more refined method of communication and in doing so proved her suspicions correct. Intelligence, understanding, the inquisitiveness inherent within a lifeform more developed than outward appearances might otherwise have suggested. Though she saw the blood, and the imposing way in which the being loomed, the girl did not shy away from it. That serenity remained in place, permeating not just her but the air around them.​

​

When her offered bridge was touched upon by the other, it would permeate them too. Him, she realized, though his physical state had done little to divulge as much, insofar as she was aware until that point he had seemed entirely genderless. It came through to her on the voice which echoed loosely in her mind, and so too a vague impression of him beyond what looks alone could provide.​

​

His query was not unexpected, but the manner in which it was uttered had taken her momentarily by surprise. The Force worked in mysterious ways, it was a fact of life she knew deeper than any other; it had known was it was doing in leading her here, in sending her the visions of this being long before she made landfall and looked upon him with her physical eyes. It always did.​

​

I mean you no ill, friend, she began in kind, remaining in her sunken state to ensure her physical being upheld the same presence she was hoping to emit, There is nothing I want from you; I am here only to offer assistance, should you will it.​

​

Kai Bamarri ​

 

[Kai Bamarri]

She didn't so much as flinch at him. There was no fear in her, no wariness, not even surprise. Only curiosity and a vague desire to help.

Kai hunched his back, reducing his towering height to less intimidating levels, but he remained closed off. She didn't know what ailed him, what had driven him to this point—and even if she did, he didn't know her well enough to trust her brand of assistance.

<How could you help me? You don't know me, and I don't know you.> Turning away, he hunkered down beside the river again. <I can't be saved, if that's what you're after. Others have tried already. It's not just the flesh that's weak, it's the spirit too.>

Asha Hex​

 

[Asha Sar'andor]

In his words, she felt her heart shattering; though long in the throws of the Netherrealms, Jyn Sol's influence still hung heavy over her and left her all too empathetic. A legacy unto the friendship she'd never quite found in another since. His form shrunk down to the river's edge, and with it came a sense of hopelessness. To look upon him was to see only a child so beaten by the Universe that they sought to remove themselves from it entirely. As though by collapsing in on itself, they could keep it all at bay and keep any and all away.​

​

Asha longed to close the physical distance between them; she refrained. Dug her heels into the loamy soil and bade herself remain put. The prickling in her eyes too she saw fit to banish; he did not need her pity. Sympathy amidst inaction was meaningless.​

​

Instead she closed her eyes and breathed life into her essence in the Force which already danced the air around them, softly, gently, cocooning that presence around him. It was serenity incarnate, tranquility and peace, a distinct calm that offered even just the briefest amounts of respite should he only lean into it for a moment. She did not impose this state upon him, she did not push her will against his, instead she allowed it to hang there in weightless suspension. An offer to transcend verbality. There was no transaction, this was commensalism at it's finest; a gift from she to him.​

​

One does not need to meet to know. Her words drifted softly between them. And one does not need to know to extend a helping hand... Rejection was part and parcel of the grief he was trapped within, and a natural byproduct of succumbing to ferality. An animal did not trust on instinct, an animal did not give itself freely over for domestication, it came with steady time and patience, with generation upon generation of effort, and for some it would never be ingrained at all. Asha did not have generations to impart her sincerity, but nor did she subscribe to the notion that the wild should be taken from all.​

​

It was his final statement which left a lasting impact on her. Asha sank to her knees, where previously she had been crouched, and settled in for the long haul. Patience was a virtue she had learned at the foot of a monolithic beast twisted by the ruminations of pure evil, where years of her life had been wicked away into the obscurity of time. Patience was a thing she knew so deeply it came to her as readily as each breath she partook of the air.​

​

Weakness is not a failing, Asha began, a thoughtfulness to the tone of her mind, And any who believe it to be so has never experienced true strength of being. There is much within this existence of ours which presents itself as dichotomous, elation and grief, light and dark, strength and weakness... But how can one ever truly know one without the other? Without the perception brought about by its supposed antithesis?​

​

She shook her head, aware that they were brokering on territory which had the potential to get far too deep and philosophical than he was likely prepared for in his current condition. That was a vice of hers, to overexplain and philosophize, to wax poetic in a manner most might find unnecessary. Flowery words which flowed so free and intrinsically from her that she could hardly put the stopper on it.​

​

You are a being of great sentience, she added, all the same, an intensity to the tone she chose to project, And with sentience comes imperfections; this is the nature of life. This is the price we pay for our most miraculous existence. Whatever weakness you perceive within yourself can be acknowledged and overcome; you do not require saving, just the space and patience to afford growth. Nobody is above change, they just... Have to want it.​

​

Kai Bamarri ​

 

[Kai Bamarri]

She spoke to him at length, lecturing on the nature of existence. Kai's mouth sealed itself, but he shook his head, annoyance leaking into his response.

<Innocence. I have lost my innocence!>

In the Petrified Forest on Chaldea, when he had taken the blonde-haired girl to the stones, intending to sacrifice her as retribution, he had been struck by a revelation. That it was not his body which was the source of his corruption, but himself. He had passed out of innocence and into the living death of mortals. Fallen, tainted, forever locked in a struggle between the good and evil they harbored within themselves—and so far, he was losing the battle.

He'd looked at the unconscious girl he'd laid upon that makeshift altar, his mind filled with visions of her blood against the stones, and realized he did not recognize himself anymore. Had not recognized himself for some time. He fled, abandoning the girl where she slept.

That was what had drove him back into this feral state. He was seeking to return to that purity somehow, even if he was only deluding himself with a pretend life, one where he was unafflicted again.

He wiped the blood that remained on his face on the back of his hand, then clenched his fist in anger at himself. Why should the wilderness care if his mouth was dirty?

<It's been lost, and now it's gone forever. I can never get it back. Sentient beings...> He supposed he qualified as sentient, even before his transformation, but was he as she defined them? Morally conflicted, spiritually complicated? <I don't want your sentience. I want freedom, and ignorance, and...>

To live. He had always wanted only to live. But how could he? This life he had now was one of perpetual death.

Asha Hex​

 

[Asha Sar'andor]

She did not immediately respond. Did not, in fact, respond for a short while after he was done. Instead she knelt and considered all she had been presented with, all that could be gleaned from the words he had chosen to utter; all he had willingly shared. He spoke of innocence as though it were a most imperative factor to his existence, as though he could not possibly fathom life without it, though innocence in all things would only ever be fleeting. He spoke of sentience as though it was not a thing he considered himself beholden to, as though it lay no claim over his being.​

​

He spoke of a desire for a life beyond it all. That which belonged only to the creatures of the land.​

​

For a moment, just a moment, she considered bowing to it. Rising and leaving him to his self-imposed state of primality, for who was she to intervene? Who was she to deny him such a longing? The frustration he had shown in response to the wiping away of blood, to the reminder of his humanity, to the very nature of his being, betrayed him. It was all that kept her there. Because deep beneath it all, she knew it to be an act. An attempt at self-soothing. A last ditch attempt to gain some control, by giving it away to instinct and ferality. He would not be to blame then, if he became as the creatures were; one did not look upon the nexu and chide it for its predatory actions. Why then would one look upon him similarly?​

​

Innocence is a thing beholden to those who have not yet experienced life, Asha brokered, watching him where he stood, or crouched, or sat, for the individual beneath it all. It is not something which can be clung to, or saved, or protected; I know that is difficult to understand, and I know that you must mourn its passing as all do in time. I am sorry that it was taken from you before you were ready.​

​

Slowly, with all the caution of an animal pinned beneath the gaze of some mighty foe, she moved. Just a shuffle, a step at a time, with pauses in between that allowed him to adjust. That let him move away should he will it.​

​

We cannot choose what destiny assigned us, what the Force breathed into us upon creation. Is it ignorance you want, or a desire to be free from all you've been forced to suffer? From all that you have done in the absence of that which you hold so dear? The shedding of our innocence is a painful transition, to look upon not just the Galaxy but ourselves with a fresh set of eyes can be overwhelming and scary. What is it that you have done, I wonder, to lead you to so isolated an existence?​

​

Another shuffle closer. This time she paused for longer, perhaps she was happy with the newfound proximity.​

​

Do you think that sitting here alone will serve to make it any easier? There was no judgement in her tone, nor the question itself, there had been no judgement throughout all that she had said. Just that same gentleness. She spoke these things, she asked these things, for his sake, not her own. In that moment she was to play her role objectively. It was not her life which hung in the balance, after all.​

​

Kai Bamarri ​

 

[Kai Bamarri]

The woman would not give up so easily. He supposed that was just as well. Part of him didn't want to be alone, not truly, though he had tried to squash that lingering need for someone—a friend, a loved one, a kindred soul—to accompany him.

She wasn't exactly what he'd had in mind, but he supposed she was better than no one. He smirked bitterly at some of her words, realizing only afterwards that his face, in needing to express itself to another being, had begun to regain some of its features. The eyes remained sealed, but the mouth had more definition. He had lips to smirk with, instead of just a gaping maw filled with teeth.

What is it that you have done, I wonder, to lead you to so isolated an existence?

<I hurt the ones who loved me, because I couldn't love myself,> he replied. <I looked for people who were like me, but no one... no one hated themselves more than me. Even the ones who were worse off, who were in a truly pitiful state—they still found it in them to have joy, and to love...>

It was hard to think through his emotions now, a spring of hot tears welling up. The seal on his eyes was broken, and though his eyelids remained fastened shut, they leaked.

<I loathed them for it, and hated myself even more. But I thought I had one salvation, one thing that I could do that would make me worthy. I wanted to prove myself to the one being in all the galaxy who had truly shared my pain, my loss. To avenge my guardian's death, by killing her killers. One got away, and the other...>

He had resolved to let her live, at first, but after his failure to capture her accomplice, fury had driven him to take what he could get. So he seized her as she slept, locking her in a state of unconsciousness, unaware of what was happening. He stole her from her bed, from her home, from her family, to sacrifice at the altar of his birth. But when he raised the blade...

<I couldn't do it. All I wanted was revenge, not justice. I was unworthy for even trying.>

Gerda wouldn't have wanted it. She had only wanted him to come home.

Do you think that sitting here alone will serve to make it any easier?

<It makes everything easier,> he lied. <I don't have to think about the mess I left behind anymore, so long as I stay here.> He couldn't apologize or even begin to make things right, but then how could he? Where was he to start?

Asha Hex​

 

[Asha Sar'andor]

Sometimes progress took the form of resistance.​

​

That was what she saw within the conflicted boy before her. The briefest hints of hope, marred through by contempt for himself so deep that it threatened to eclipse all else. Despite his words, he could not deny the truth inside; his body betrayed him. Slowly he was coming back into a form that more readily reflected sentience and humanity, slowly he was pulling himself from that pit. An ear here, a lip there...​

​

It should have been unnerving to look upon, she knew. She should have reeled from the sight of his morphing state. Instead she felt only wonder, amazed by all that the Force was capable of. It had wrapped him up in a net of safety he'd required, at his behest, forming a chrysalis through which he could process in isolation and peace. A caterpillar tore down every part of itself in its endeavor to evolve, 'til only proteins remained. It was an arduous task to undergo transformation... Asha saw it for all that it was.​

​

The towering wall of grief fractured a little, allowing tears to flow from eyes so tightly pressed that they could not open to see; in this form, his existence was truly pitiful. There was no other word for it, and to try and claim otherwise would have been a lie. Resentment, loathing, envy, they could make a beast of any and all who succumbed to such. But he had spoken those words into existence, he had breathed life into feelings he'd been trying to bury down, to remain in ignorance of, and the catharsis could now begin.​

​

She listened without interruption, allowing him to bare his soul in whatever way he saw fit. The words themselves spoke to a darkness, a moment of corruption, yet even he admitted to faltering at the final hurdle. He had not gone through with it. Whatever it was, whatever form his attempt at justice - nay, vengeance - had taken, ultimately something else within him had won out.​

​

A soft inhale of breath prepared her for the brief window of opportunity she was afforded to respond.​

​

I know that you must look upon the attempted act itself and see only your intentions going into it, she began, careful to keep her own thoughts and feelings on the matter separate from the words themselves, That you must judge yourself so harshly on the actions and choices which led you to that point, that all else is eclipsed... I implore you look past that for a moment, child.​

​

One hand breached the space between them, offered to the boy should he see fit to take it. You did not give in to temptation in the end. Something within you rose to the surface and took a stand against itself. There is no tougher battle than that which we wage within our own mind each and every day, as we fight against instinct and vices and pure unadulterated emotions. Look not to what you might have done, and instead to what you did... That took courage, and strength, and will. So many are incapable of refusing themselves that finish line. They see only the destination, be it justice, or vengeance, or forgiveness, and give no thought to what might be lost along the way.​

​

She let out the faintest of sighs, more an exhale than anything; her gaze hardened just a touch with strengthened resolve.​

​

It will take time for you to forgive yourself, of that I am aware, but that does not mean you are forbid from living in the meantime. Every choice you make henceforth has the potential to shape who you are, who it is that you wish to be, you need only put one foot in front of the other. The truest sign of one's righteousness comes not in the wake of their greatest actions, but in the face of those darkest and most testing moments they stand in defiance of. Allow yourself to breathe, child... You will not be alone in this.​

​

Kai Bamarri ​

 

[Kai Bamarri]

The woman argued that, since he hadn't gone through with the revenge killing, he was better off for it. Like he had done something right by not giving in to temptation, the desire for cold, simple, ruthless vengeance. She compared it to things he considered good—justice and forgiveness—as if they were all equally poor goals, or that people were wrong to pursue them. Of course, he didn't agree with that, but the mentality she suggested was alluring.

He found himself shaking his increasingly human-like head, however.

<I know I have no choice now. I can't get back my innocence or become pure again, not truly. And I will have to leave this wilderness eventually, because the life I'm living here is just a play, and I'm only acting out a role.>

Locks of white hair sprouted from his head at the mere thought. He reached up a hand to push them back out of his face, fingers fisting in the strands rather than claws.

<When that day comes, I've thought about ending my life. Going home, once and for all. I suppose if I can't go through with that either—> He knew he couldn't, because he still wanted, deep down and desperately, to live. <—then I'll have to either go back, or find a new life somewhere else.>

Asha Hex​

 

[Asha Sar'andor]

The only sign of recoil she'd expressed since her arrival came as a result of the laissez-faire manner in which he spoke of his self-inflicted end. Something in her throat constricted and threatened to choke her, and her eyes stung with the burn of tears which she proved hard pressed to hold back. She had been where he was before, arguably - as more of his countenance defined itself - at around the same age, where all hope was lost, and only one option seemed to lay upon the road ahead. Not strong enough to live with it, incapable of wading through the mire. Tears fell across flushed cheeks, and for a moment she pulled back from their mental connection in order to spare him the burden of her emotions on top of his own.​

​

There was only one consolation, one distinct difference between the Asha of old and the boy before her, and that was his admittance that perhaps it was not a thing he could truly go through with. That deep down inside part of him still wanted to fight for his continued survival. Asha had not been able to find such for some time, it had come in the slow deliberations of one Sargon Vynea who had seen fit to open her mind to the majesty of the stars, and the wonders of the Galaxy, who had instilled within her the very foundations of all she would eventually become. The Great Sense Master... The only Master she'd ever truly known. The monster Aellin would never count.​

​

Slowly she bridged that gap again. Her mind was quieter now, a certain numbness having cushioned the surface of it all. I know of a place you can wait out the remainder of this play you weave, Her offer did not come lightly, knowing how difficult it could be for some to shed their wildness, and how much time it might take for him to step back into a more stable existence, but it did come with an air of sincerity all the same. Safe from beasts which prey, out there among the stars... Yet so very full of life and nature. You are welcome to it, if you'd like, welcome to join us there. And should the day come that you seek to leave? Then none shall stop you.​

​

Once again, that hand rose toward him.​

​

You don't have to do this alone.​

​

Kai Bamarri ​

 

[Kai Bamarri]

That got a rise out of her. She wept at the notion of suicide, and retreated briefly from his mind. Kai was too hardened by his own pains to care much if he had dredged up hers, but he let her have her space until she came back with an offer.

<Where is this place?> And what was the catch?

Asha Hex​

 

[Asha Sar'andor]

This time, he didn't fight her on it. With each passing moment he was looking more and more human, though clearly such a designation did not fit given the ways in which he could transfigure his body in so drastic a manner. Instead one question was passed between them, with the undertone of a second that remained a mere impression. She could infer it, though. She could understand the belief that all things secretly had some sort of transaction attached.​

​

It's known as Tribunal Station, Asha explained, her mind briefly rife with the memory of it. It did wonders to eclipse the lingering grief which had gripped her. The stars, the trees, the babbling water, and the serenity. A utopia among the stars, one made with her in mind. A gift to the Je'daii... There is a space within it reserved only for members of my Order, she added. At this point, she sat back in the grass.​

​

I belong to the Je'daii Order. I would welcome you into our home as a guest; there is no catch. The Will of the Force led me to this place, to you, for a reason, and I would be remiss in my duties to defy it. We can help you, if you would like, help you to find yourself once more, and your place within the Galaxy. By simply offering you a sanctuary, if that is all you wish, more if you require. Most all who have joined our ranks have found themselves at one point or another in a similar state of mind, my friend, it's what brought us to convergence.​

​

As much or as little as he wanted from them. Free to join their ranks, should the day come that he wished to, to train and learn and grow amidst them; free to simply exist, too.​

​

Kai Bamarri​

 

[Kai Bamarri]

As the woman gave her pitch to him, along with the mental impressions of Tribunal Station, Kai turned his head away from her, gazing out at the forest. An arm dropped, fingers dipping into the river, and he tucked his knees against his chest, hugging them with the opposite arm.

This was an unsustainable dream. He had known that going in. It couldn’t last forever. As he had so casually admitted, his plans for what he would do with himself when he could no longer pretend were ambiguous. Everything was still up in the air.

He figured he had little to lose. She seemed kindly enough, and he detected no signs of deception or malice—though strangely enough, he felt rather apathetic about that, too.

Watching as his nails grew, he made his decision.

<Tell me you name, and I’ll accept your offer of hospitality.>

Asha Hex​

 

[Asha Sar'andor]

It was as though time did not matter to the girl. As though she would have given days of her life in the pursuit of pulling him back from the edge. She was patient and slow, and willing to give him all the time and silence he required as he pondered his next move. Inhaling through her nose, she took in the grand scope of the space around them, bringing into her person all the sights and the sounds and the smells; one hand lowered into the grass, feeling through it to the life brimming beneath the surface. Bugs and worms and burrowers. It was a grounding experience which sought to put everything into perspective for her. Which reminded her of how small her presence in the Galaxy truly was. She needed that reminder every now and then.​

​

How long she waited she did not know.​

​

Then he spoke to her once more.​

​

My name is Asha, she informed him, without hesitation, Asha Hex. And what of you? What name would you have me call you by? She did not ask for his actual name; right now, she was not entirely sure how far out of his play he was, how comfortable he would be with being thrust right back into the throw of things. So she allowed him the grace to give whatever name he pleased. Monikers had their place, after all.​

​

Kai Bamarri ​

 

[Kai Bamarri]

Asha Hex. His eyes opened just a little, crescent-shaped slits revealing blue irises.

<Never heard of you before.>

While spindly arms regained muscle definition, he debated whether he should give a fake name or not. It might make him harder to find, if anyone was indeed looking for him. Did he want to be found? No. Not on his own terms.

Then again, if he really didn’t want to be found, he should change his appearance into something less recognizable. The form that was taking shape was familiar to him, the transformation automatic. It was made up of parts copied from others, pieces of the people he loved and idolized. Pieces of the people he’d hurt.

He started to rebel, his body warping and contorting, only to give up and let it revert back to human, losing interest. His well of creativity when it came to taking on new forms had dried up. Maybe he could get away with just looking like a featureless biped, a human with all the major parts, but none of the details.

She was still waiting on a name. <Ander,> he finally answered. <Just Ander.>

Asha Hex​

 

[Asha Sar'andor]

Humour coursed through her at that.​

​

I shouldn't rightly think you had heard of me, she mused, with a light and airy chuckle. It wasn't as though she was much of anyone, just another figure in an ocean of people so vast that they were like grains of sand. Smaller than that, she'd argue. Atoms... Singular protons. And there was something comforting about that level of existence. It took away some of the pressure.​

​

It took him some time to conjure up a name; she tried not to let that overshadow his response. A pseudonym would suit just fine, it wasn't as though he had any inherent reason to trust her, or those she associated herself with. A nod of her head gave response to such.​

​

Well, Just Ander, it's nice to meet you, there was a brief flash of a grin, Cotan Sar'andor and his lame dad humour was rubbing off on her. There'd be hell to pay for that! There is no rush to depart from this place, if you need a little more time. I can even give you space to yourself if you'd like. When you're ready, my Pilgrim will be waiting. ​

​

A pause of consideration, before she seemingly remembered something regarded as important - at least insofar as the accompanying feelings went. She thought better of the other offer which had come to mind; this likely wasn't a time for tea. Maybe when they were shipbound she could call upon her hostly traditions.​

​

Kai Bamarri ​

 

[Kai Bamarri]

Just Ander. That was a pretty good name, actually. He’d once met a Padawan once named Justice Lesan , so it wasn’t the most far-out first name he’d heard.

<Just Ander.> He nodded, failing to realize it had been a joke on Asha’s part. Standing up, he added, <I better leave now, before I lose my nerve.>

Asha Hex​

 

[Asha Sar'andor]

Just Ander.​

​

He said it back to her with such conviction that she immediately accepted it for all that it was. A joke it may have started out, but wasn't that how many things began? Just Ander. It had a certain charm to it. She smiled, deciding against shattering the illusion, and then nodded to his next statement.​

​

Is there anything you brought? Anything you might be accidentally leaving behind? she inquired. Clothes were what immediately came to mind, but she knew she'd have something of Cotan Sar'andor 's aboard her ship he could borrow for now. Until they could fashion him some of his own to wear. What little presence of Bodhi adherents had trickled into the Station over the past however long would be eager to assist; it was, after all, their passion.​

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For now she just remained grateful that some parts of the boy had not seen fit to detail themselves. Not that her gaze left his face at any rate.​

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She pushed up from her seated position back to her feet, and gestured back the way she had come. Provided there was nothing more to do, she'd turn and lead the way. The Luminary-class Light Explorer was a true wonder to behold, a marvel of ingenuity that at times left her dizzy to think about. Capable of being piloted with just a shadow crew, that is Asha and the integrated AI, it was perfect for her; and for those who longed for company among the stars? Well, it could serve as something of a mobile base for such endeavors too. ​

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It would be nice to see more of the space in use. More often than not, when they traveled they took Contentment, which was the pet name she'd given to Cotan's otherwise nameless vessel. By comparison Pilgrim was a little underused alongside others. Maybe one day that would change; Asha did hope for a student of her own, eventually. A more permanent fixture than the Shadow at least, not that she wasn't happy with their arrangement.​

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Come on, let's get you settled. I'll grab you something to wear on the way.​

​

Kai Bamarri ​