Where it began

[Cynthia Solus]

[member="Gray Raxis"]
Location: utapau

8 days ago

Gray...

I don’t know how to start this, but there is no place for me left. I lived my life for you and never gave up on you. Even when everyone thought the worst, I believed. I’ve asked myself who would know if I disappeared. Would you even come to find me? Would you even care? Do you even remember how we even met? That time on Utapau. I was so angry at you and yet after a while you made me feel something I’d never felt in my life. You showed me love and in turn I gave you mine. If only I had acted sooner. Maybe I would have had a chance.

It’s to late for that now. I’m going to disappear soon. I can’t keep going feeling so alone, feeling like I don’t fit anywhere. So soon I won’t have to. This is goodbye gray, forever.



Days passed like a blur as the woman spent every last credit she had drowning her sorrows into the bottom of every glass. Cynthia kept running her life through her head trying to hold onto the good memories. Now they all seemed like sad ones filled with regret. The times she could have acted sooner. She stood up and stumbled to the side. Her arm swiped across the table knocking the glass from off the edge. Her eyes would bounce around the room that was spinning from side to side. “I uhh sorry.” She said in a slur of words. The bartender said something but she could exactly hear. Not over her own self pity.

As she stepped out side she’d make her way to a bench and dropped down. Both elbows rested upon each knee and her forehead resting on the arms. A thought crossed her mind one that made her feel disappointment in herself. In seconds everything she had drank that evening came back up splashing across the floor. Sweat dripped from the girls pale face. An aching pain in the stomach to top it off Cynthia sank to the lowest she’d ever been.

 

[Teagan Stoirm]

Clan Raxis was all about support. Support for Mandalore. Support for other Mandalorians. Support for every single member of the clan. Teagan found himself on Utapau for the last few days in pursuit of this ideal. His clan alor, Gray Raxis, had received a message from [member="Cynthia Raxis"] that worried him. It worried Teagan too when he heard it. She was in a dark place and heading off to kill herself. Teagan had heard of Cynthia, but he didn't know her like his alor did. Seemed there was some kind of history there, but he wouldn't talk about it. Teagan didn't push. All he needed to know was how to get to Utapau. His alor got him a shuttle and gave him the name of a city or a town there. Seems it was the one he had first met her in. It was where he would likely find her at.

Everyday since Gray had gotten the message, Teagan had been going around asking everyone if they had seen Cynthia. He held out a holoprojection of her that he had gotten from his alor when he did. No one seemed to have any leads for him. From before the sun rose until a time after it had set he was out looking. It was exhausting. He had just gotten himself recovered from the events on Ploo then immediately was sent out. It wasn't helping either that the people of Utapau still remembered that raid the Mandalorian Empire had made following Ra's last known order. It was from before Clan Raxis decided to join and help move things in the right direction. These people didn't know that though and only saw Mandalorian armor. So they would pelt him with rotten fruit and rocks while cursing him. He couldn't really blame them for it. It was how things would have been on Doldur if the old Mandalorian Empire had raided them. With so few willing to even listen to him, things were very slow going.

It had taken Teagan all of that time and abuse, but it seemed some of the people in the city had opened up to his cause. When he had asked a man about Cynthia, he was told that a young woman that resembled the projection had been hitting up the local bars. From there he began to go from bar to bar asking about her. She was always at the next bar over from what they said to him, but he could feel himself getting closer. Even more so because a few of the owners got his info and said they would message him if she showed up there. Rain was finally falling over the drought. He was at the last bar and found out he had just missed her. He was close! Now he just needed to find her, stop her from doing something foolish, and get her back home on Mandalore where she belonged!

 

[Sanya Val Lerium]

Wrong char

 

[Cynthia Solus]

[member="Teagan Stoirm"]

She sat there head slumped against her arms and the puddle between her feet. It took a minute for the queasy feeling to go. The girl looked up to see the traffic of people growing more dense. Eyes kept glancing at the woman in the black armor and weapons on her back. Was it because of the sorry state she was in or the fact she was a mandalorian. Either way she didn’t care. There wasn’t any point in caring not anymore. With a quick push Cynthia got back onto her feet and began walking away leaving the puddle behind.

As the mandalorian woman walked with a blank expression she could see the fish stand. The one where gray and her met the first time. “goodbye gray.” She said with tears now rolling down each cheek. She’d keep moving, wiping away tears and sniffling. Each step took her closer to the edge of the platform. A hand dropped down, fingers clasped around the hilt tugging it from the sheath. With one more little shuffle forward the front of her boots hung over as the knife raised up and pressed firm against her upper arm drawing the first speck of blood running down the length of the blade.

 

[Teagan Stoirm]

Heading out of the bar, Teagan was left with a choice of where to go to find Cynthia. The issue was that she could have gone anywhere from here. He looked down every street and any open enough space that a drunk person could navigate. All he saw however was nothing every time. He had finally gotten a scrap of information and now he was back to not knowing a thing. Great. You are really going to screw this one up Teagan. He reached up to the back of his head as if he could scratch it through the helmet. A nervous habit along with his rambling. What was he going to do now?

Then Teagan heard someone say something about how good the fish at this stand were. It was just some idle chit chat between two women as they headed home with the day's last meal. A rather pleasant scene as it lacked any hint of conflict. Wait, they said something about a fish stand. His alor had mentioned that as well on places to look for [member="Cynthia Raxis"] before he left. Way to go Teagan! You forgot to look in the 1 place you were told to! With that new bit of info, he dashed off in the direction of the fish stand. Hopefully he wasn't too slow and could catch up to her finally.

As Teagan neared the stand, bits of conversation met his ears. People were talking about someone in armor who was clearly drunk and depressed walking around. He knew it wasn't him, partly because they mentioned black armor when his was in the Raxis colors, so it had to be Cynthia. He didn't really have another direction to work with though until someone finally said something about the platform's edge. The edge! Of course that was where she would go! You are just failing at every level Teagan. He needed to get to her before she threw herself over it. Off he went in the direction of the edge. Hopefully he wouldn't be too late.

Getting to the edge of the platform, Teagan could see Cynthia up ahead. She drew out a knife and had pressed it up to her arm. Was she going to cut herself?! This wasn't good! What should he do? He could call out to her, but then she might just slit her own throat or jump off or something. The same thing would happen if he just ran up and stopped her from actually cutting herself. She might just stab him though and kill him before offing herself. This wasn't good at all! What should he do? What would Alor Gray do? Something bold and unexpected and unusual.... He had an idea. He pulled out his stun pistol he had brought with him then took aim at Cynthia. As he held it up with both hands in a shooting stance, he launched a grappling line from his right wrist at her. It flew out then found its way around her waist. As soon as he felt the line go tight, he began to take shot at her. He hoped they hit and stunned her. Remembering as he shot how heavy someone in armor, no matter how slim they were could be, he activated the mag locks on his boots and anchored himself to the metal platform. He did everything he could and just hoped it was enough.

 

[Cynthia Solus]

[member="Teagan Stoirm"]

She didn’t feel the knife draw the blood as she slowly dragged it down the length of her arm. Once again memory’s rushed into her head. The memory’s of times her and gray spent together, the bad ones, intimate ones, the good ones. She thought of all that time she searched for him. It was all for nothing. As Cynthia began to lean forward a cable wrapped around her waist tight. She’d look back for a second to see another mandalorian. A feeling of betrayal rushed through her as she looked at the person with an expression of sadness. Her eyes seemed dull and around them dark. The pale skin only made the dark circles stand out. “just let me die for kark sake.” She said with a tone of little effort and exhaustion.
A blue ring hurdled towards her body. As it hit everything began to numb. The woman’s feet lost the strength to hold her up and slid from over the edge making her body fall. Although she didn’t fall far with the cable around her waist. The woman’s eyes began to feel heavy as blood rushed down her arm. Her eyes even traced the knife that slid from her hand and down the hole till she could no longer support her head or keep her eyes open.

 

[Teagan Stoirm]

Yup, Cynthia did want to die and said it for herself to Teagan just now. When she went over the edge though, Teagan felt like his arm was going to be ripped out of its socket. The weight of the armor jerked him forward and only the mag lock on his boots saved him from going over with her. The grappling line and stun gun had worked, but now he was facing a different issue. He wasn't going to be able to pull her up like this. His back was screaming from the effort and every second his strength was being sapped further and further out of it. What was he going to do? This was not good at all! He needed to think of a plan and think it up fast.

Teagan began to glance around him, but there was nothing around. There was no people or machines or objects of any kind. There was only him and [member="Cynthia Raxis"] who was dangling just over the edge. Wait, she was wearing armor with a jet pack on it. Maybe he could use that. He grabbed the line with his left hand and began to slowly reel it back in. As he did, he slowly took steps forward to maintain the distance over the edge that Cynthia was hanging. It took him a minute but he finally got over to the edge and her. He slowly bent down as his back promised it would murder him for the action. Once he was low enough to touch her jet pack, he reached out with his left hand and activated it. It shot her up into the air and he felt his right shoulder dislocate. The pain was intense, but he had to ignore it.

The jetpack had gotten Teagan back up to his feet, which were still locked to the floor. He slowly began to walk them both back away from the edge. Once they had a good two or three meters, he began to reel her back in using the zip line. Once she was close enough, he reached back up with his left hand and turned her jetpack back off. Her armored figure ended up falling right on top of him. His legs buckled from it as best they could, and he knew he had just stretched the ligaments in both knees due to the mag locks. He deactivated them and let his feet assume a more comfortable position. He had gotten her to safety, but now he was going to have to deal with the problem of her being on top of him like this. Well first, he needed to deal with her arm. He began to pull out bacta patches from his pouches and put them over her cut. Hopefully she hadn't lost too much blood while he was trying to save her.

 

[Cynthia Solus]

[member="Teagan Stoirm"]

As Cynthia fell unconscious shed dream the same dream she had for months. The night before his disappearance. Mostly her dream focused on when they where sat down talking to one another. She knew what it lead up to and it was one of the happiest nights they shared. Outside of her dream she had no recollection of what was happening. There was no telling her mind was sped up and she was now falling to her certain death or she had been pulled up. There was no feeling in her body, not even the sting of the cut running down her arm. The man would be able to tell she was loosing blood fast.

It was pouring lot faster than normal from her excessive drinking the past few days that had thinned her blood down. At a guess Cynthia would lose enough blood to kill her in a matter of minuets. After all that was the point. She wanted to die and didn't even hide the fact. By the time she was no longer in harm of falling she had lost almost three pints. The skin was pale as paper and cold to the touch. her heart was beating faster to compensate. Once the bacta patch was put onto her arm it would slowly swell up as a reaction. It would only be a matter of moments before she would go into shock.

 

[Teagan Stoirm]

The patches were on Cynthia's cut wound now. Teagan's next job should have been figuring out how to get her off of him and then sort out his own injuries. That was not what he had to do now though as he caught sight of her skin reacting to the patches. He had put enough patches on himself and on others to know that was not normal at all. It was turning red and a rash formed. It looked like an allergy. He had seen it on some people who handled hay and other grasses back on Doldur when he helped with the family farm. Great. Now he needed to find her pen if she had one to stop the reaction before it got worse, if it got worse that was.

While his right arm hurt too much to move, Teagan began to run is left hand through every pocket he could find. Thankfully he found it and pulled it out. Popping the cap off, he needed to find a place with thick muscle to stab. The best place was her hips and thighs. Looking for an area not covered in plates, he eventually was able to find it. He lined up the pen then stabbed her with it. Once all of the medicine was in her system, he let it drop to the ground and sighed. Why was this turning into such a challenge? Now he needed to get her off the top of him. The random thought of that not being something a guy would normally say about a girl crossed his mind. It was a little funny, but he needed to get serious again.

Pushing at her with his left hand, Teagan hoped he could get her to just roll off of him easily. It was the only thing he could do actually. His right arm was out of the picture now with it being dislocated, his back was screaming bloody murder, and he could feel how trying to get onto his feet would just lead to suffering and fall back to the ground. He was at his limit physically by this point and was the one in the worst condition of the two of them. Great news. What was he going to do if he couldn't get her off of him? Nothing. There was nothing he could do but maybe call for help. The likelihood someone would help them out here on Utapau was very slim.

[member="Cynthia Raxis"]

 

[Ginnie Dib]

"Gorram it."

A Mandalorian distress signal in Utapau? That was not going to go over well... at all. GInnie fought with the urge to ignore it, finish packing up her supplies and get out of Utapau airspace and back to Ryloth... but Daddy Ordo didn't raise an apathetic girl. She looked to her supplies, and rolled her eyes.

What she eventually found was two beings, both with the whiff of the Mando'ade on them, struggling to survive one atop the other. The deaf woman pursed her lips and clucked her tongue. She pulled a bacta shot from her pack and put it to [member="Teagan Stoirm"]'s neck, pulling [member="Cynthia Raxis"] off him.

The young woman was in terrible shape. Ginnie looked her over, seeing the crimson pour, and knew the likelihood of survival was slim. After countless battles in her young life, Ginnie realized a fatal collection of wounds when she saw them. The red welts made her squint. What were those?

Bending down to pick up the epinephrine device, Ginnie read the label and looked down. No bacta? Force Healing was beyond her abilities, an offshoot of having spent so much time learning Sith Alchemy.

Her hands lit with flame. She inspected the woman and closed each wound, a thin line of cauterization on all of them. There was no analgesic, no defence against the pain. If she'd lost too much blood, the shock could kill her just as readily as the loss of blood.

"You. What happened?" Ginnie asked Teagan. He seemed awake enough.

 

[Cynthia Solus]

[member="Teagan Stoirm"] ※ [member="Leto Vos"]

The adrenaline from the epipen was enough to bring the woman two. Her eyes opened slightly with dilated pupils. She couldn’t feel the pain much nor her heart pound against her chest. Cynthia was even able to draw more air into her lungs as a result. Even if she could find the real energy to speak the girl was now at least aware of what was happening. Footsteps came from somewhere although Cynthia could see who it was till they stood above the girl. It was another woman, to top it off another mandalorian and it was clear she was been denied her right to die.

Cynthia soon felt her been pulled from off something to find out it was the man who stopped her attempt. It was only mare moments after that the girl found her self gritting her teeth and letting out a weak scream. The pain was intense and agonizing, there was nothing she could do about it. Her life was no longer in her own control. Either fate would let her die or these people would prevent Cynthia’s wish. Even with the pain searing the skin she’d not find any relief, the adrenaline was keeping her awake.

 

[Ginnie Dib]

Seemed like some sort of suicide attempt. A soldier watching death was one thing. A soldier seeing needless death was another.

There was no guarantee that [member="Cynthia Raxis"] would survive. Ginnie turned her wrists back and forth in her hands, deaf to every noise Cynthia made. The tension came through, and Ginnie clucked her tongue.

“If you want to survive, you have to fight for it. If you want to be hutuun, a coward, keep crying until you die. If you are Mandalorian, a coward’s death denies you the right of joining the Manda. No one will remember you in their daily prayers. You will end up suffering, alone and afraid, in the Chaos until your consciousness fades or is consumed… whatever it is you did this for? Is meaningless next to the abyss. So fight, or die. Either way I have no comfort for you.”

Hard were the words of Ginnie Verd. She had less tolerance than her childhood self. Standing up, Ginnie held out her hand and raised [member="Teagan Stoirm"] & [member="Cynthia Raxis"] up on a bed of telekinesis, and began to float them toward her ship.

 

[Teagan Stoirm]

To say that Teagan was in no condition to move or get up was an understatement. His knees and legs were shot from his tendons getting pulled and his right should being dislocated prevented him from really moving it let alone use it for anything right now. Add onto that the searing pain in his back from the earlier strain of holding the woman up and then her entire weight coming down on top of him, even if he didn't have a back injury that left it weak he would still be having back agony right now. The best thing he could do was get his distress beacon going and hope for the best. He wasn't about to move after all.

Some time had past and [member="Cynthia Raxis"] seemed to have come too a bit. Teagan wasn't sure if that was a good thing. If she came too enough she might just finish herself off and he couldn't stop her a second time. Wonderful. How would you explain this to your alor Teagan if she did kill herself? He knew. His alor would tell him he did his best and there was nothing more that could be done. Sometimes you just couldn't save people. He would mourn and so would Teagan while feeling like a failure, although only he would see himself that way. What more could he do though? He had done the best he could given the situation and she was determined it seemed to end everything. Did he have a right to stop her even if in terms of their culture that was a very bad thing for her to do? He didn't feel like he did. Maybe he should just let her go....

Then things changed. Teagan was surprised when [member="Leto Vos"] showed up and answered the call. A bacta needle hit his neck and then Cynthia was pulled off of him. Oh sweet lord the relief of pressure was great! But then he breathed in and felt the pain in his chest. His ribs must have cracked from the impact as his armor was meant more for mobility and protection from the elements than raw impact. The woman asked him what happened but then went on to give Cynthia some tough love. He felt himself being floated up, which was not the first time he had someone do this to him. One detail did strike him as odd and that was that the woman seemed to not be able to hear. It was a condition a few engineers suffered from due to long exposure to loud noises. Using his left hand, he signed to her, " Thank you very much. Can't walk, can't use my right arm, back is hurt bad. Thank you so very much." With that he just left himself to the mercy of this young deaf woman. Who knew sign language would be useful here?

 

[Cynthia Solus]

[member="Teagan Stoirm"] ※[member="Leto Vos"]

Cynthia listened to the woman's harsh words. Alone and afraid was what she was now. It felt cold and empty to the point she didn't know what to feel. These people where here strangers. Trying to save a life they didn't and why? could she find some comfort that? Even if she felt abandoned by the man she had lived for all this time was there something out there for her still? If she let her self fade now those questions would never be answered. The life Cynthia had, hadn't been a life she had lived. This could be a second chance, a new start.

Her body lifted from the ground as if all weight had left her body and now the real physical pain set in. She turned her head to face the man, her face displaying the pain in her facial expressions but the girl was trying to swallow it. Shed look with a quick glance before her eyes shot away. "What did I do?" she thought. Cynthia wanted to speak, to apologise but she couldn't find the words. She wanted to sleep but was scared to now. Finally her head turned away from the man over to the other side as tears swelled in her eyes. "S.. orr...y." She said forcing the words from her mouth, they where quiet words but shed had to say them even if no one heard them.

 

[Ginnie Dib]

[member="Cynthia Raxis"]’ words fell on literal deaf ears. While she looked at [member="Teagan Stoirm"]’s lips, she missed Cynthia’s. Walking them both to her ship, Ginnie laid them down and secured the both.

“The jump to Mando space will take time, but we will get there as soon as I can… your buddy needs a Force healer, I think I know who to call… Sabarene is closer than Mandalore.” With that, Ginnie got to, and once again answered a Mando’ade’s call.