Private Wish I couldn't feel

[Zarava Dekki]

ZARAVA

Location: Jutrand Academy
Timeline: Set before the trials
Tags: Adean Castor

The more that she stayed here, the more that she could feel her anger grow. And the anger was simply directed at one person, her mother. It was because of that woman that she was in this place in the first place. She would have been happy to stay on Elrood and just have her mom go off on her own. She had thought that giving her away to the Sith Order once they realized she was force-sensitive would somehow gain her favoritism in their ranks. Zarava wasn't even sure if that was what happened, but she knew her mother was still alive. The lady was insistent on keeping in contact with her as much as possible. Compared to some of the others that were in the academy, she had no desire to be here, but it didn't seem like the people here were willing to simply let her go.

The academy itself was incredibly depressing with how dark and ancient it was. It often made her wonder if there were students who got lost within its halls, only to never be seen again. Zarava had no intention of that being her fate while she was stuck here. The redhead didn't want to be the best of the very best. She would leave the royalty that seemed to be roaming the halls of the academy. All she needed to do was survive the tests, and nothing else. However, there was also the problem with acquiring a sponsor, a factor that she was only recently made aware of. To get a sponsor one would need to draw attention to one's self which went against what she was trying to accomplish. The less eyes were on her, the better. Once all of this was over, maybe she could learn to fly a ship and find a way out of here.

Right now Zarava spent most of her time trying to gather as much information as possible. Growing up on Elrood, she was never educated on what the force was, or even how it worked. All she had managed to do was throw a kitchen table across the room when she grew angry at her mother. She was also told very little when she was grabbed and moved here, only able to take one personal possession with her to bring. She had mapped a good majority of the academy so most of the time she knew where she was going. Some places were not marked and even getting remotely close to those areas made a chill run down her spine. The redhead made her way to the archival room. That's at least what she called it, as she wasn't sure of the official name. The person who was in charge there was probably used to her presence at this point.

Zarava sat herself at one of the terminals, powering it on. There was only so much that she was allowed to access, but she had seen something curious today. She typed in several keywords and touched the panel several times. Information on lightsabers and how they worked spread across her screen. She had only heard stories about what lightsabers were, and it was mostly hushed as no civilian truly would know about them. From what she saw from the training rooms, it was a common weapon used here and that meant she would probably get one eventually. Might as well know the mechanics of it. Technology was what she was good at, learning about the force could wait for later.

 

[Adean Castor]

Location: Jutrand Academy
Tag: Zarava Dekki

Just how Adean ended up on Jutrand, let alone the academy itself, was a series of circumstances anyone else would think had come out of a play. Stars, Adean would too if it wasn't her own life. One lie after another, not even her volunteering the lies at that! But when you unwittingly claim the identity of a prominent Sith's relative, you couldn't exactly come clean without repercussions.

So here she was, committed to learning (at least as far as anyone else was concerned) and incredibly conscious of the fact that eyes could be on her at any given moment. The weight of such realities was stressful on its own, not even taking into account all the extra steps needed to get by in the academy. This wasn't a place she could fall into the comfort of obscurity in, not with the requirements of a sponsor and the general competitiveness that ran such an academy. On the surface, she was calm, diligent in her studies.

Behind quarters doors, she was a nervous wreck.

The majority of acolytes here had grown up among the force, some already wielding it like second nature. Adean grappled with it like a ghost grasping at straws, slipping through her fingers as if she were the incorporeal one. So she hid in the comfort of crowds, clinging to a lack of presence as if her life relied on it, for it very much did. She studied her peers with a relentless eye, trying to catch whatever spark that made them capable by proxy. If she could learn enough to fake it, she'd be able to make it.

The archives had become a secondary solace, not quite somewhere she could let her hair down, but a repository of knowledge that had filled her in with much-needed context on the Sith, the force, and beyond. There was no pressure to stand out among terminals and holorecords. Adean was almost disappointed when she walked in and saw another was already present and learning. A wandering gaze couldn't help but catch the image of a lightsaber on the other's terminal, along with some text. "Huh. So that's what they're called." She regretted the words just as soon as they came out of her mouth. "Sorry - I didn't mean to look over your shoulder, I just, uh, sorry."

 

[Zarava Dekki]

ZARAVA

Location: Jutrand Academy
Timeline: Set before the trials
Tags: Adean Castor

There was little Zarava knew about the world she lived in. Despite being fairly independent most of her life and knowing the city in and out that she lived in Elrood when it came to other planets and other aspects of space, she was completely last. Zarava knew about different schematics when it came to different ships, and certain pieces of technology, but anything dealing with the force was completely lost to her. She barely knew anything about the Sith or Jedi, and only really knew the two groups by their names alone. Of course, during her many years of eavesdropping on tourists' conversations on Elrood, that the Jedi were considered the light while the Sith were the opposite. Opinions were skewed for the simple fact that she had lived on a planet that was in a space that was controlled by the Sith Order.

For the most part, it seemed as if Elrood was roughly unchanged by the Sith, while other planets were not so lucky. Some were completely destroyed, while others were used like giant laboratories for whoever controlled them to run experiments on the residents who were still alive. All of this, Zarava had never caught wind of such information. Most of what she knew about both groups were just stories she heard tourists talking about, and she had believed those stories to be simply made up. However, some of what people said about the Sith, she was starting to realize were actually true. After talking with one of her classmates already, death sounded likely in these trials. She was more behind than she would like to realize, as someone had been kind enough to inform her a couple of days ago.

Regardless, it seemed as if there was a lot to a Sith's arsenal, and if there was a chance that any of her classmates had any of this gear, she was going to need to find a way around it. Looking at the schematics lightsaber helped her figure out if there were potentially any weak points that she could use to her advantage. From what she was reading, there were very few materials that a lightsaber could cut through. The only luck she would have if she got cut by one was the factor that it would cauterize the wound it created and she wouldn't bleed out from the injury. That would still leave her at a disadvantage, and losing a limb wasn't exactly on her bucket list. Zarava could only imagine how much pain she would be in to suffer such an extensive injury in the middle of a fight. Would she even be able to focus? The worst injury she's ever had so far was nearly losing her eye from mining equipment incorrectly. That had been extremely painful, but she doubted it came anywhere close to losing a limb.

Zarava didn't realize someone was behind until she heard a voice speak up. It took every muscle in her body from jumping out of her skin. This wasn't the first time that this happened, she needed to be more aware of her surroundings. However, the words spoken by the other classmate finally registered in her brain. Oh? Finally, it seemed like she wasn't the only one either. The young redhead turned herself slightly in her chair so that her right arm could rest on the back of it. A neutral look was spread across her face as the other immediately began to apologize. "You're fine. If I wanted to keep what I was looking at private, I would have found somewhere else to go." Zarava reassured her in a calm voice. Her right arm would raise and rub the back of her neck as she looked away. "So I'm not the only one who doesn't know everything about this stuff," Zarava commented as she gestured toward the screen.

Zarava made sure not to state that she didn't know everything. If there was a chance that the classmate next to her could potentially end her life later on, she didn't want to grow too attached. She wasn't looking for friends in a place like this, but she would be wrong to admit that hearing someone else struggling as much as she was... well, it was comforting, to say the least. Zarava made sure not to show it on her face though, as when it came to interacting with those in this academy, it was hard to know who to trust. The redhead kept her body language fairly relaxed, turning back to look at her classmate. "How long have you been at the Academy?" Zarava asked, knowing there was a chance that she wouldn't be given an actual answer. She gestured with her hand to the chair next to her in case the other wanted to sit down and converse a little. If not, that was also fine, as she was far from the type of forcing conversations onto someone.

 

[Adean Castor]

Location: Jutrand Academy
Tag: Zarava Dekki

For a good moment, Adean had to swallow back the base urge to deny her lack of knowledge, to claim she was testing the other or some other excuse. It was dangerous to show weakness in the academy, perhaps even more so to admit it. That much had been made apparent from the get-go. But even one who committed to lies with such confidence as Adean could recognize such a quick turn would be jarring.

A slightly embarrassed smile tugged at the girl's lips, a practiced mockery of one at ease with her situation. "Yeah, they haven't really given much to go off of for beginners," she started with a wave of a hand and an eye roll as if they were discussing something as mundane as the weather. "I swear, sometimes it's like this place is built for the legacy acolytes and no one else."

She glanced at the screen again, taking in the cylindrical weapon with not so guarded curiosity. She'd seen one in use before, on her various misadventures being anyone but her. Each time, she'd caught the glue of a blade and promptly said 'no thanks'. Judging from just this page of information, her instinct had been spot on.

"Hmm? Oh, uh, only a few days, really." The Epicanthix shifted, taking the seat she was offered, considering her next words carefully. "Enough to get the lay of the land, you know?" And realize how out of my depth I am. She leaned back in the chair, again emulating confidence with practiced precision all while studying her fellow student. "What about you? I think I've only seen you in passing so far."

 

[Zarava Dekki]

ZARAVA

Location: Jutrand Academy
Timeline: Set before the trials
Tags: Adean Castor

From a very young age, she was taught never to trust strangers. She usually didn't have to worry about it all that much for the fact she rarely interacted with people growing up. Her mother was the one responsible for her education, so she never had to go to school with other children. Zarava wondered if the schools on Elrood were anything similar to this place. If they were, well, she was glad that she never had to attend any of them. Either way, the only people that she really interacted with on the planet were her father's coworkers. Even then the interactions were short as she would only interact with them if she couldn't find her father to deliver his lunch.

The mine that her father worked it wasn't too bad. It was hard work, but it paid well enough to keep them fed and pay any bills that they may have. They weren't rich by any means, but they were well off for a while. It was tragic when two years ago some of her father's coworkers came to their house to tell them the bad news that her father had been caught in a cave-in. There was no chance to retrieve his body. Zarava had marked that off as the worst day of her life, but depending on what happened in the trials they were given, it might top that. From that moment on, the relationship between her and her mother started to disintegrate. For some reason, her mother became obsessed with the Empire or anything dealing with the Sith. She would donate to the cause in hopes of gaining some sort of reputation with them.

Zarava hated what her mother had turned into, and what she had done to her life. As soon as she showed that she was force-sensitive, her mother was on the phone after she left the house, reporting her own daughter in an attempt to gain favoritism in a group of people who probably couldn't care less about her. Zarava understood the mindset of not being able to trust anyone, especially after the betrayal from her own blood. Zarava watched the other girl's mannerisms as she spoke, and couldn't help but agree with her words. It reminded her of the conversation that he had with the gold-skinned boy, the first other student that she had ever interacted with. "From what I've read about the Sith in general, I wouldn't be surprised if they just want to cull the weak and give their strong fighters some fodder to take out." Zarava agreed with a soft huff. The boy that she had talked to shed some light on her situation, in the fact that she could very nearly die during the trials.

The young redhead watched as the other sat down in the offered seat. Her blue eyes would look back at her screen, glancing over the text that explained the power of kyber crystals. Her attention would then be drawn back to her classmate as she spoke. Only a few days? Zarava couldn't help but feel a pang of pity in her chest for the other. This was all still new to the other, while Zarava has had weeks to adjust to the new environment. She remembered how difficult it was the first couple of days, the reality set in that she was stripped from her homeworld. The pity that she felt was not prevalent on her face and continued to remain neutral.

Zarava would hum for a second before answering her question. "I've been here for roughly a month now." She answered calmly, as there was no point in hiding it. Zarava would tilt her head slightly as she asked her own question. "Where did they grab you from? I'm from Elrood." The origin of where she was from didn't matter to the teenager. There was nothing special about the world other than its mining and spaceport, and there was no one there she knew that could be used as leverage. The way that she worded the question was done deliberately, as she wanted to figure out if the girl next to her came voluntarily, or if she was forced to be here like she was.

 

[Adean Castor]

Location: Jutrand Academy
Tag: Zarava Dekki

Adean's own sensitivity, if it could even be called that, went largely unnoticed the majority of her life. Any grapplings with telekinesis were attributed to coincidence, sometimes even ghosts. Any foresight was considered a sideffect of an observant individual in a family of those noteably oblivious. Someone far more adept in the Force might've argued that the sheer length of time her sensativity went unnoticed was an indicator of a very specialized potential. Others would instead call it a distinct lack of potential.

The question of untapped or nonexistent potential aside, Adean thrived where she was left unnoticed. Forever a background character in someone else's play. There was safety in such a lack of presence. She had avoided being the plaything of bullies in her early education days, escaped death where her parents had not been so lucky in an ill-fated armed robbery. When her various misadventures left her in the clutches of pirates, she was both the best and worst hostage - the one you forgot existed and yet was not compelled by heroism to act beyond saving themself.

"Lovely. Can't say I'm surprised." The entire temple seemed to be a personal enemy of weakness, or even just skirting by. The more Adean learned about the place, the more tempting it was to disappear on the next transport off Jutrand. They had a name, sure, and maybe snapshots of her face. But names came cheap and faces blended in among billions. So long as she kept everything else to herself, she should be fine, right?

A brow rose a fraction as the other acolyte continued on. So she'd been here a month and still had questions? That was reassuring. If Adean caught on fast enough, maybe she could convince others she'd been there the whole time. It wouldn't be her first time doing so. What got her into the academy was the fallout of a similar situation gone wrong.

With the other's next question, Adean was taken back to that day. One of the few times she was called out on a lie, and in a way she couldn't escape. Not yet, at least. It turned out, claiming the surename of a prominent Sith Lord was one way to get powerful eyes on you. "Belsavis." She answered smoothly. It was a planet she'd recently seen on a holomap, one close to a few hyperoutes so the plausibility and possibilities for why she was there could be near-endless. "The exact details in getting here kinda flew by, though. It all happened so fast."