Private Wounded

[Kai Bamarri]

Kai sat in the waiting room, bored out of his mind. His gaze kept wandering, staring at the various posters on the walls. Diagrams of various anatomies, public service announcements, ads for rehab centers and suicide hotlines. The usual.

His injuries after the fight with Corin Trenor weren't serious, but given how recently he'd been in a crash and how much time had passed since he'd last seen a doctor anyway, it was strongly advised that he at least have a physical exam.

When they called him in, he dragged his feet. It was obvious that he didn't want to be there. In fact, he had learned to dread hospitals and doctor's offices. They brought back bad memories of being poked and prodded and pained.

He didn't expect the doctor to be a familiar face.

<Oh. Hi Amani.>

Amani Serys​

 

[Amani Serys]

"Kai." Amani looked up from her datapad and gave him a small, professional smile, "...You seem surprised," She snorted, dropping the workplace demeanor almost immediately. The padawan was motioned over the exam table for a seat.

"What brings you in?" Her eyes returned to the datapad, spare a knowing glance at the boy when she followed up with, "Don't suppose it has anything to do with that ship crash from a bit back?"

"...Or the fight?"

Kai Bamarri​

 

[Kai Bamarri]

<I thought you were doing stuff with refugees.>

Kai didn’t sit on the table so much as slump onto it, his manner dejected and reluctant.

<They made me come in. The masters did, I mean.> He waved a hand vaguely. <They said it had been too long since I got a checkup.>

He had one very clear reason for avoiding doctors, but of course, he wasn’t going to tell Amani about it.

<You saw the fight.> He looked at her somewhat sheepishly before asking, <How did I do?>

Amani Serys​

 

[Amani Serys]

“I do a lot of stuff with a lot of things. Somebody’s gotta make sure our Jedi are up to snuff.” Amani nodded in agreement with his reason for coming, “Considering this is the first time I remember you coming in, I’d say they’re correct. Verify this for me-” She flipped over the datapad for him to read: on-screen was his standard NJO medical file, covering basic details such as name and physical characteristics. At the bottom, a checkbox awaited the press of his finger.

Once that was done, Kai deigned to ask for her opinion on the fight, and she simply looked at him with a flat expression, “...No comment.” From her tone, Amani wasn’t exactly amused by the Kai’s instigation at the sparring event, and thus wasn’t going to humor his question with genuine feedback. Still, she was sympathetic to the boy and his underlying troubles, so she wasn’t going to bother reprimanding him anymore about it either. He’d already received the talk from Dag, in front of a crowd no less. A talk the Knight handled deftly, but one in which further dogpiling wouldn’t do any good regardless.

“Anything particular I should know about before we get started?

Recent injuries?

Allergies to be aware of?

Alcohol?

Drugs?"

She ran down the list with robotic routine.

Kai Bamarri​

 

[Kai Bamarri]

Kai squinted at the screen, and with a sarcastic air muttered, <Are my eyes really brown?>

He checked off the list with a touch of his finger.

Amani’s unwillingness to even entertain the notion of feedback, whether negative or positive, was expected. Still, Kai pretended she had. <You’re right, I should’ve hit him harder. Might’ve knocked some sense into him.>

He gave her a slow wink.

<I injured my ribs in the crash, then Corin punched them repeatedly. I think I had a concussion too. I didn’t know that could make you throw up. Other than that, I sprained my pride.>

"Drugs?"

<No,> he answered, then smiled nervously. <Can I go now?>

Amani Serys​

 

[Amani Serys]

<Can I go now?>

"No." Amani shot him a suspicious look, but didn't push any further. Instead, as she stepped away to grab a handful of tools, she added, "For what it's worth, patient confidentiality still applies to Jedi healers. At least for me, it does." Generally speaking. Disregard the time that Master Tafo managed to squeeze some information out of her regarding one Thalia Senn.

"Stare at this back wall for me," She pointed at the blank whiteness behind her, and with little other warning shined a light into the padawan's pupil. A sigh escaped her, before she finally commented, "Headbutting is generally pretty dumb, especially if you don't know what you're doing. Have to make sure you hit with the hard part of your skull, in the soft part of their face. Otherwise you might hurt yourself just as much." The faintest twitch of a smirk curled the corner of her lip. Hopefully disguised by the light in Kai's face.

Kai Bamarri​

 

[Kai Bamarri]

Kai frowned. In his experience, confidentiality meant diddly squat. People would ‘fess up secrets if it got them things or (especially among the Jedi) if they thought it was the right thing to do.

He turned to stare at the wall, only to squint and blink rapidly as she shone a bright light in his eyes. <He barely bled,> he muttered, thinking of the thin trickle of blood from Corin’s nose. <I must not have hit him as hard as I thought.>

Drifting into his own thoughts, he suddenly asked, <Did Iris come in here recently?>

Amani Serys​

 

[Amani Serys]

“Nyeah well, if you had then I’d be infinitely more pissed at you, so,” She raised her brows, and clicked off the light, “Probably for the best.”

“Sit still,” Amani moved on to the otoscope, examining Kai’s ears. His abrupt question earned another smirk, thankfully outside of his peripheral, “Mhmmmm…” She hummed knowingly, “Why do you ask?”

Kai Bamarri​

 

[Kai Bamarri]

Kai deliberately went cross-eyed just to annoy her.

<She broke her arm pretty badly in the crash,> he said, his tone revealing his concern for Iris. <The bone was poking out of her skin. I had to set it for her. There was a lot of blood. She passed out and I threw up.>

A moment of contemplation passed before he asked, <Why are girls so complicated?>

Amani Serys​

 

[Amani Serys]

"Well, all things considered, you did a pretty good job. Setting it, that is. Everything was healing fine when she came in. Blood, throw up, passing out, can't blame you. First time I saw a person's guts, I couldn't even look at food for two whole days." It was observing a semi-elective surgery, thankfully; As opposed to a violent evisceration. But it was something that took a little effort to get over.

<Why are girls so complicated?>

"Pfffwhat is that supposed to mean?" She scoffed a chuckle, "Didn't realize girls were the only ones out there breaking their arms." He obviously was referring to more than just that, but Amani was going to make him say it.

Kai Bamarri​

 

[Kai Bamarri]

<I didn't used to get sick when I would see blood and guts. I hate throwing up.> Kai grimaced. <The last time I did it was when I was really young. I swallowed a watermelon on a dare. I don’t think the younglings thought I would actually do it—or they thought I would eat it, not swallow it whole. One of them panicked and said it would kill me. So I puked it back up in the trash can in the mess hall. I was such a dumb little kid back then...>

Amani feigned being dense in response to his question. Kai rolled his eyes.

<Iris doesn’t… she just…> Kai actually vocalized a groan of frustration. <I don’t even know. She keeps saying she’s afraid of losing me as a friend, but she won’t explain why.>

Amani Serys​

 

[Amani Serys]

Swallow a watermelon? Amani raised a brow, “You could… do that?” She set aside the otoscope and listened to the boy’s plight, with that same all-knowing, almost smug smirk, now more clear on her face.

“Can’t think of anything that’s prompted her to say that?” She asked a little more genuinely, “What’s been going on between the two of you anyway?” Amain already knew to some extent of course, but she wanted to hear his perspective rather than blurting out all her insider knowledge.

Kai Bamarri​

 

[Kai Bamarri]

<Yeah. I was a cross between a Shi’ido and an Anzati, so I was super malleable and stretchy.> He grinned. <I spent the whole first year I was here looking like a clone of Dagon Kaze. I loved him. Uh, I mean—he was my hero and I wanted to be just like him. Kind of like how little kids will dress like their favorite superhero, except I could trick people into thinking I really was him. Except when I tried to talk, anyway.>

Kai stared at the floor. <Dag… didn’t like it very much. I reminded him of his twin brother Aeric, who turned to the Dark Side. Plus, constantly being mistaken for him got to be kind of annoying. At one point I got him into a lot of trouble for something he didn’t do, and I felt really bad about it. So I played mix and match with traits from a bunch of different people to make a new face. I probably would’ve copied your chin. It’s very distinguished.>

He looked up again as the subject shifted to Iris.

<I don’t know. Well, I mean…> He sighed. <I think she’s still mad at me for not being there when she was injured. I found out from a text message somebody sent out to all Padawans. But I was so far away, and so wrapped up in my own problems, I never went to see her. I figured she didn’t want to see me anyway, after what happened…>

Amani Serys​

 

[Amani Serys]

Amani hadn’t exactly expected to get that much information out of Kai from the watermelon comment. But she listened to it all; The kid obviously had some baggage he needed to unpack. He mentioned her chin, and in response she confusedly stroked it, “...Thanks?”

The healer blinked, remembering to resume her work, scanning through the array of tools laid out. “Do all the padawans have a group chat or something?” She shook her head; Not really the takeaway from what he was saying. Amani held up a tongue depressor, “Say ‘ahh’,” as soon as his mouth opened, she would press the stick down on his tongue and flash a light into his throat, “And try not to gag.”

With Kai unable to talk, she took the floor for herself, “It can be a tough balance to strike. I get you can’t be everywhere at once, but I get why she might still be mad, also. I think the two of you need to take a chance at being a little more straightforward, and honest with each other. Clearly there’s some miscommunication, if you’ve gotten to this point.” Between him and Iris, there were plenty of “I don’t know”s or “I’m not sure”s that only seemed to backfire.

She released the depressor, giving Kai a chance to speak once again, “After ‘what’ happened?” Another story Amani figured she already knew, and another she wanted to hear the alternate perspective on.

Kai Bamarri​

 

[Kai Bamarri]

“...Thanks?”

<You're welcome. And possibly? Some girl just messaged everyone Iris had in her contacts to ask... what her favorite color was. So she could make her something while she was at the hospital. I told them she loved every color.>

Kai seemed to deflate at the memory. He was quiet while she looked in his mouth, having nothing to say, otherwise his stream of telepathy would’ve resumed even while the depressor was tamping down his tongue.

Her question made his face flush dark red.

<When I was a Sithspawn, I didn’t feel certain things. And because I had never experienced those feelings before, I didn’t know how any of it worked, and I did some pretty dumb things in my ignorance…>

Kai cringed. <Iris told me she loved me. I loved her too, but not in the same way. I couldn’t love her that way back then. I wanted to make her happy though, so I pretended. I used stuff I had seen on the holo to make it more convincing, all while having no idea what I was really doing…>

But now he did know, and he knew how it must’ve hurt her to find out none of it was real. That was what made it so frustratingly tragic. He simply hadn’t known any better.

<I kissed her, and I could feel how happy she was. But then she asked me how I felt, and I told her I didn’t feel anything, and she got upset, and I said I was sorry, and she called me a liar, and—and I told her I didn’t even really like her and we were only friends because we were both freaks. And then I jumped off the roof and left her there.>

Amani Serys​

 

[Amani Serys]

Just as Amani had come to suspect. His once-Sithspawn nature hadn’t exactly done wonders for Kai’s emotional intelligence. Even still she couldn’t help but cringe herself as he regaled the story of their collapsing romance. “Yeah… that’s… rough. Still, I guess I can’t blame you too harshly, considering you were biologically incapable of knowing otherwise. But damn-” A faint scoff escaped her before she waved it off. There was little more she could do to drive home the point that he had not already painfully realized.

“Sorry. Point is, you know now. So what have you told her since?” Amani put a stethoscope in her ears and aimed the resonator towards Kai's chest, “I’m gonna reach under your shirt here real quick, try not to be weird about it,” She couldn’t help herself from commenting.

Kai Bamarri​

 

[Kai Bamarri]

Kai was still pondering Amani’s question as she stuck her hands underneath his long-sleeved (despite the heat…) shirt. He couldn’t help but flinch slightly. <Cold hands, warm heart.>

His heart beat steadily in his chest. <That I still love her, and more is possible for me now,> he murmured, taking deep breaths as commanded. <But I don’t think she cares anymore. She doesn’t want anything to do with that kind of love now. I guess she has that right after what happened, but… now I’m the one left behind on that rooftop.>

Amani Serys​

 

[Amani Serys]

"My bad," She apologized for her cold hands, and offered a more genuine smile. Amani listened carefully to his heart, half-expecting it to beat much faster than it did. Whatever he and Iris were dealing with was clearly taking a bit of a toll.

She sighed, and eventually put away the stethoscope, "Well, it's a lot of… emotional whiplash for her to go through. After she got rejected and presumably came to terms with that, suddenly you come in swinging with a declaration of love and shake things up again. It's not really a fun situation to be in, for either of you."

"And as much as it sucks to say… if she doesn't want that anymore, well, there's not much you can do other than respect that choice." If he wanted any chance of staying friends after that fact, anyway, "Try taking things a little slower, figure out these feelings, and talk. I can't stress enough that you both need a bit of sincerity. Not just talking, by the way, listening."

"It's the only way you two can actually move forward, in whatever direction that may be." Padawan matchmaker wasn't really the role Amani expected to take on when she joined the NJO, but here they were.

Kai Bamarri​

 

[Kai Bamarri]

<I know,> Kai murmured. <I plan on talking soon. Maybe even right after this, if I can wrangle her away from her lessons long enough…>

After a few moments, he pointed to her medical equipment and smirked. <That was funny, what you did. You listened to my heart while getting me to speak from the heart. I see what you did there, Amani.>

Amani Serys​

 

[Amani Serys]

“Good.” Amani nodded, “For what it’s worth I’m rooting for ya, dude. So long as you keep what I said in mind.” She tapped her temple. Him and Iris seemed cute together, but they were also teetering over a precipice with how things were. Hopefully they’d find some kind of common ground to settle on, whatever that might be.

Kai’s next comment earned a snort, “Not really intentional, but, I’m glad you found it amusing.” She looked over the tools he pointed at, then switched focus, “Everything looks fine for the most part. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just need to finish up a few more things and we can be done.” The healer reached down and pulled out an inflatable cuff, “Gonna check your blood pressure. Mind rolling up that sleeve for me?”

Kai Bamarri​