Approved NPC Ya'lea

[Asher Malvern]

Name: Ya'lea
Loyalties: Kaden Blake
Role: Beast Guardian

Age: 3 Weeks Old
Species: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Zakkeg

Appearance: Still new to the world Ya'lea is a baby Zakkeg who has not yet come into his armored skin. With a soft pink exterior that hints of a fresh born mold of skin he is far from the mature monsterous state his species is known to hold.

Height: A quarter of a meter in height.
Length: A half a meter in length.
Weight: Nine kilograms in Weight.

Personality: Friendly towards Kaden or Loken Blake. Overprotective of his brother Zakkeg. To strangers he is often very shy or aggressive. Normally very energetic.

Combat Function: Currently not combat capable.

Notable Possessions: None

History: Born to it's native world of Dxun, Ya'lea was one of five Zakkeg pups that were found by the Echani duo Loken and Kaden. It lived the first two weeks of it's life relatively unmolested before Kaden and Loken arrived. The two Echani were forced to combat the Zakkeg's mother after it wildly attacked them. After wounding the elder Zakkeg it returned to it's nest in a blind and blood drunk rage. The elder Zakkeg began to slaughter it's young in an insane frenzy, The brothers tracked it to the nest and quickly dispatched it, saving only two of the young. The smaller of the two being Ya'lea, who was rescued by Kaden and taken as his pet. The day after being found by Kaden and Loken the young Zakkeg was taken away from it's home planet to join Kaden in his own adventures.
Links: http://starwarsrp.net/topic/103345-the-hunt/page-2#entry1509688

 

[GhostOfProtocol]

Under Review

 

[GhostOfProtocol]

Hello there. My name is Jayden and I'll be your Codex Judge. Let's see what we can do about getting Ya'lea approved shall we.

My first major concern with this submission has to be the History section. It seems quite patchy and as such I will ask for this to be expanded. I would always recommend focusing on the early life of a submission and while I am aware this may be a little difficult, adding a paragraph about life prior to the brothers arrival is all I'm really asking for.

"The young Zakkeg was taken off world when the Echani had found it was time for them to leave." That line makes no sense. I'd recommend going over that last line and proof reading it.

Thanks in advance,
Jayden

[member="Kaden Blake"]

 

[Asher Malvern]

Updated.
. [member="Jayden Sanders"]

 

[GhostOfProtocol]

Alright then, lovely.

As of right now I have no problem passing this up to the mentors for a secondary review before it is reviewed by the Codex Admin. My main concern is that this will need to be modfied via a Submission Modficiation when he becomes a fully grown Zakkeg. However, as of right now it is only a pet and therefore I have no major problems.

[member="Kaden Blake"]

 

[GhostOfProtocol]

Trainee Pending Approval

 

[Teynara Jeralyr]

Looks good to me, too. Just has to go to the boss now. Please do take into account Jayden's words on the submission modification: this sub CANNOT be used in combat without one. Many thanks!

Pending Approval [member="Silencia"]

 

[Quietus]

Approved