Private You Had A Life To Live

[Palm-Imer]

C O N T R I T I O N​

LOCATION: Eriadu
EQUIPMENT: Ghostfire crystal Twin Lightsabers
WEARING: XxX.
TAG: Gerwald Lechner

The geminian frigate buzzed with movement as it jumped out of hyperspace into Eriadu's orbit. Palm kept a hurried step towards the hangar bay, surrounded by fellow Ambassadors and counselors that seemed to take turns making a comment or the other. The Sovereign was listening, but her true attention laid elsewhere. Ever since leaving the Consors System again, her aganda had been filled with back-to-back hearings to secure treaties for her system. Rebuilding was no easy task, but under her supervision the process was speeding along nicely and the gears of progress were back to working at full speed back home. Today their destination was the planet Eriadu, one of the wealthiest families on the surface willing to strike a deal with the Geminian cohort to provide them with lommite. The geminian mountains were not short of minerals, but the Sovereign would not see her lands decimated from the amount of extraction that would be required to rebuild her fleets and buildings.

Something lingered in the back of her head, a bothersome inkling of uncertainty that she could not shake. It was quite unlike her to feel nervous, but it was also easy to pin the emotion on the fact they were too near Sith territory for her liking. Eriadu, for the time being, remained outside of their influence - but the Sovereign feared this would not be the case for much longer. She would secure the treaty, and hope to reap the most benefits out of it as long as it was still safe. Her counselors had run extensive intelligence on the planet and on the Thaard family, owners of one of the largest lommite extraction companies on the planet's surface - the deal was safe, and they would just as easily cut ties if circumstance changed that fact.

She boarded the transport shuttle, a modest entourage of fighters serving as escorts as they began their descent towards the planet's surface. The mountains were dwarfish when compared to her homeworld, and atop one of them reigned the seat of the Thaard family. It seemed as though the nearer they drew to their destination, the more that feeling stirred.

"Something is off." This was all the declaration that was needed from their Sovereign for the crew onboard to understand their task. Sensors came to life, and attentive eyes were glued to screens.

As the party landed, Palm looked to the frigate's commander. "We cannot make contact, my liege."

She closed her eyes for a second, grounding herself in the throes what she could now confidently say were a disturbance in the Force. "Should we retreat?"

The affirmative was just about to fall from Palm's lips when she felt the deepest threads of her being twist with aggitating force. Her breath caught in her throat, amber gaze glued to the shuttle's still unopened gates. It couldn't be...There was a great darkness descending upon Eriadu's peaks, and that alone should have been enough for the woman to cancel their visit. But this...this calling. It was too familiar.

A quick flick of her hand and the shuttle's gate opened. Palm made a swift advance towards the ramp, and just as her foot found the solid ground of the estate's landing bay, she was taken aback by the darkness that surged from the interior and the faint echoes of screams. The geminaie scurried to prepare their weapons and follow her. "Stop." They didn't make it off the ship before they were commanded. Palm's expression had turned a shade of cold that was uncanny. "Return to the frigate. Leave a fighter behind." She made no move to join them, and the distress on her crew's face was evident as they stood there.

"Now."

This darkness called to face her. She would not put them at risk.

Her hands brushed softly against the hilts on her belt, and as her cohort's ships retreated, the Sovereign began her march towards the building, the Force pulled closely to her. If her heart was trembling her face did not show it.

Her step was soundless and her presence willingly supressed as she maneuvered among corpses and debris, steeling her mind with each step closer to the source of all this chaos and loss. A battlefield no longer fazed her, it was not her surroundings that had her very soul frozen in place. She faced the large doors to the main hall, the last barrier between her and whatever had befallen house Thaard.


It can't be.


The words resonated once more within her mind, before her battle-worn hands pushed open the ornate gates.
​

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

WEARING: xxx
WEAPONS: Ferrum Solus | Blodmåne | Strømafbryder
TAG: Palm-Imer

He had let the beast loose. Gerwald knew he could not got Eriadu alone and expect to accomplish what he had set out to do. His orders on the matter had been clear. No one from the household would be permitted to survive. They had brought Empyrean's wrath upon themselves, and the punishment would be swift and merciless. The wolf was much more than an executioner, but his duties as a member of the Dark Council had only furthered his responsibility to put the needs of the Order before his own desires. Even if he had wanted to spare those who some might deem innocent, an example needed to be made. The Sith continued the advance of their war machine, and those who stood in the way would perish.

The scene left was bloody. Gerwald almost felt sorry for the ones who would discover it. The skelmorn was not a kind killer. Those who fell victim to it had done so wishing for the more humane death which came at the end of the executioner's lightsaber. Crimson liquid cried from the soaked ground with screams of those who had become the victims of such a gruesome fate.

Gerwald stayed the creature. The Lord of the manor was his to kill.

"Were you not warned about double crossing the Order," he asked as the frightened man surveyed the scene which had been laid out before him. "Die knowing this was your fault."

A quick slash of his blade cut through the neck of the nobleman, granting him a quick death.

The wolf turned to leave, but stopped. An obsidian band which he wore around his wrist began to vibrate. After such a long slumber, the stone which had been tied to his wrist as a reminder of his promise to help another restore their connection to the force tugged on the distant memories of a time Gerwald thought long abandoned. His eyes fell to the creature at his side. She sensed it too. Something of her home world was near. The unmistakable scent of home danced on the breeze with the smell of iron and blood. He nodded to the beast.

"Make sure she finds her way here," he said.

Gerwald climbed the stairs of the dias and sat upon the throne which the noble master of the house had established for himself. The wolf had never been one for fancy chairs or seats of power, but it almost seemed fitting that he take it as a sign of what he had accomplished. His mind swirled with thoughts and memories of the last time he had seen the woman which had stepped foot on the Eriadu. This would be an emotional meeting, of that he was certain. Their paths had moved in the same direction until they did not, and the wolf remembered everything.

He had sacrificed to himself to save her, and she broke her connection to the force to keep him alive. Gerwald owed her for the fact he still had breath in his lungs. Had she not brought him back from the brink of dying he would not have been able to keep his promise to Naedira. Their bond had pushed them toward each other in ways Gerwald did not allow to anyone else. She had been more than his student. The woman had been the one to help Gerwald heal the one place that had still remained broken after Naedira's death.

Palm had made the wolf realize that he could still live while Naedira was still bound to the ring which had been around his neck.

It would be the most obvious difference the geminian would see once she got past the scar which ran down Gerwald's eye. The wound had been from Naboo, the cataclysm. He had failed the Confederacy that day, all of them had failed it. Warnings had come, but they had not been prepared for the otherworldly assault which came for them. Creatures of unspeakable horror converged upon the nation, and while they had stopped them from utterly destroying the planet, the cost had been too high to remain.

Had it not been for the Sith, Gerwald would have likely still been lost. Were he not able to rely upon the relationships he kept with those he had grown close to that had not followed the rest of the Confederates to wild space, the wolf would not have redeemed himself. Nothing of his legacy nor his promises would have been fulfilled.

The scratching of the Skelmorn's movement told him she was close. Gerwald remained on the throne, his hands resting on the arms as he looked ahead toward gates as they opened.

Blue met amber.

 

[Palm-Imer]

C O N T R I T I O N​

LOCATION: Eriadu
EQUIPMENT: Ghostfire crystal Twin Lightsabers
WEARING: XxX.
TAG: Gerwald Lechner

Amber met blue, and the very air creaked beneath the weight of past ghosts, untold words, and a story that had never quite ended.

A maelstrom of emotions surged within the geminaie. She held his gaze, her feet firmly rooted atop a pool of blood from the carnage of his own making. There were simply no words, for either of them. He had changed, and so had she. A scar run down his eye, she had not been with him in that battle. Her brain processed every single new detail as she took him in, falling to an empty spot on his chest not long after. The ring was no longer there. It could only mean one thing. He had succeded, for there had been no other option for him. He had brought back his love. Her heart trembled, the most bittersweet happiness she had ever experienced taking a hold of it, and her eyes gleamed with tears that would not be spilt.

She had abandonned him. There was no other word for it, and there was no justification for she had made an oath. Palm had never thought that in making it she would break the oath first made to her people, nor would she have dragged him with her when the time came to face her true destiny. She had made a painful choice.

And she had dreamt about this moment.

Yet in her dreams, she found him in the woods of Stewjon, running. Happy, carefree, and well loved. Those were the dreams that carried her through the darkness when her heart ached with the guilt of her choices. She would run to his embrace and beg forgiveness, and he would tell her all about the time she had missed. This was far from what she dreamt of...

He sat a king atop a bloody hall, a Geminian killer the author of his will. Her lip trembled. There must have been a reason. Palm had seen his pain, his fear, and fury. She had felt them as if they were her own. They could be terrible, but they had never been unjustified. A slow, almost imperceptible breath filled her lungs. There was a steely resolve within her that had not been there years before. The Sovereign she had become was forged in fire and loss, a leader who had learned to rise above her shadows. But not, yet, above him.

A single tear rolled down her cheek, lonely.

Her heart threatened to melt at the very sight of him, but the overwhelming darkness and the gruesome scenery around them gave way to reason to temper her feelings, if barely. Palm could not reconcile the past, the hopes she had so carefully guarded for him all this years, and this present, and yet she could also not fight the power of an emotion that shone behind her eyes brighter than an exploding sun. Love. It was paralyzing.

Her voice came forth much softer than she had intended.

"Gerwald..." She began, not quite grasping what it was she wanted to say. "You brought her back." Her hand weakly gestured towards his chest. Her tone was tentative, uncertainty clinging to her every word. She would not waste her energy trying to put a facade in front of him.

Perhaps she no longer was an open book, but she still was a well read one.

"What happened here?"

​

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

WEARING: xxx
WEAPONS: Ferrum Solus | Blodmåne | Strømafbryder
TAG: Palm-Imer

She stood tall and proud. Palm always had. Her posture spoke of the propriety which her station had always demanded. The wolf still remembered the day they had met. Her assessment to join the Knights Obsidian had been some time before his ascension to Lord Commander. He almost winced in pain at the memory of the loud crack which had echoed in the room when he pushed her beyond her convictions regarding force use to break his leg. It had been foolish on his part, but worth it, or at least had she not abandoned him.

They had pledged themselves to each other as student and teacher. She had been the only one Gerwald had selected to teach personally among so many candidates. Her oath had been to follow him faithfully upon his ascension to Lord Commander. Palm had been meant to be his right hand, the one he trusted when there was no one left to trust.

She failed.

Her steps squished through the blood which caked itself on the duracrete floor of the noble hall. Each step an eternity which echoed in the mind and memory of the Sith Lord. How long had it been since he wished she remained at his side. In the end she had been like so many others. When he needed her the most, when they should have been prepared to die side by side defending their nation, she was nowhere to be found.

Blue fell away from amber.

His eyes fell to the place she had indicated where the ring which he had borne as an act of both duty and love had once sat. Her question rang in his ears to remind him that she knew. What had they not shared with each other in those days when all he carried was grief and hope. He had mourned for Naedira, yet hoped a way would present itself to bring her back. In the end it had not been Palm which proved herself true, but his Echani mistress and master. Gerwald owed himself to the empress twice over, a debt he would repay.

"Srina did. I am hers. She is mine."

His answer was direct. Was it wrong for him to avoid looking back into her eyes knowing what he would find if he did? He knew what she had felt, he always had known. The two had never lied to each other. It was why who and what he had become more likely pained her than brought joy. Gerwald had not been the only one to change. Washing over her form and appearance, the wolf noted she had risen above the station she once held. It seemed they had both risen beyond what they once were.

The wolf stood.

His hand pointed to the headless noble.

"They double crossed the Sith Order. I had to make an example in case other houses decided to follow suit. Eriadu is too valuable an asset to rain our war down upon it."

His words would tell her everything she needed to know. Gerwald was no longer the Lord Commander, but something else entirely. He no longer walked the place of balance he once preached to the woman that stood across from him. Gerwald had embraced the dark side. To what end? There was no deceiving her. She was one of four people Gerwald could never lie to without them knowing he was hiding something.

Her question was answered, and now the weight was placed on her. It was the one question he knew she wished he would not ask.

It was the reason he would.

"Why?"

 

[Palm-Imer]

C O N T R I T I O N​

LOCATION: Eriadu
EQUIPMENT: Ghostfire crystal Twin Lightsabers
WEARING: XxX.
TAG: Gerwald Lechner

The Sovereign listened. His every word hung in her mind's eye, as they always had. Palm might no longer be a student, his student, but the imprint would always stick. The geminaie could no longer pride herself in grasping the finest details of his thought just by looking, nor even listening. But she saw enough. In her heart of hearts she knew it would be like this. He looked upon her as one would a traitor, and she could not dispute him. No matter the current circumstances, she would not transgress further by denying a simple truth.

If the threads of time were within her grasp she would change things. She would have told him, found a way to keep her word to him. It had simply been impossible. Palm had not even fooled herself in believing the Gerwald she remembered would have forgiven her, she had hoped for it yes, but would not have expected him to.

The man she was looking at now, though. She feared if he would even understand.

His gaze left hers and she felt colder. A stabbing pain beginning to edge its way into her chest. His words did not help it. They didn't come with the warmth of good news she had envisioned but with the sharp establishment of a limit. Her brow furrowed slightly, did he truly come to think so low of her? The black lashes that crowned amber gold fell shut, her head falling ever so slightly.

"I am happy for you, Gerwald." Just like his, and lost in the barrage of feelings, her tone did not carry joy - but it was full of sincerity. All these years she had wished this for him. What she had not foreseen was the context of that dream's realization.

For the hardest to hear yet was his next declaration. The Sith Order? The very same Sith they had raged war against, together? The authors of crimes they used to denounce, and punish. And still it was not only the memories she had with him, but the ones she had collected in the recent years that came to haunt her. She could almost hear Feyd-Serit's voice uttering the very same words he was, in a different context. She looked upon the dead around them.

Palm knew they would both be different if their paths ever crossed again. But she had not expected to find him embracing the very things he had once sworn, and acted upon, to destroy.

Then came the unavoidable question. Palm had been prepared for this. She had gone over the words she had intended to say a million times. She had sent them across space and time hoping that maybe, they'd somehow reach him. In them she had bared her heart open, and gods, did she want to speak them. But looking at him now, her heart simply broke. The Sovereign crumbled with the weight of what she could not stop herself from responding, despite the single tear turning into rivers and her lower lip being caught between her teeth in a futile attempt at silence.

Another truth dawned in on her, that perhaps these could be her last words to him, if he truly despised her so and if he truly was so far gone. And so her eyes called to his almost desperately, wanting to hold his gaze. Her hand lifted slowly, carefully, aiming to place a fleeting caress upon his cheek if he would allow it. She could not stop her words, but her eyes could plead. Plead that at least a small part of him would see the regret, the pain, and the love she had originally wanted to speak of.

"My people were being made an example of."

​

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

https://i.ibb.co/LngBT4p/Ger-temp-banner.
png​

WEARING: xxx
WEAPONS: Ferrum Solus | Blodmåne | Strømafbryder
TAG: Palm-Imer

Happy? Had she just reduced their past and all their striving to keep an oath to simple common reactionary phrase? Oh that she were not actually sincere it would have justified Gerwald's anger at the sentiment, but he could not be. He could only be frustrated at the fact her word seemed to have meant nothing to her, or at least try to understand how the woman had been able to break it so easily. It had been her way of life to not make a promise lightly. She had not been like the wolf who seemed to make promises as though they were an unlimited commodity. His bonds had made him what he was, he knew it, and perhaps hers had as well.

Palm could or longer hold back the tears which the single tear from earlier had betrayed. The dam of emotion this meeting would always be, had broken, at least on her end. Weeping did not become the picture of royalty which stood before him now. The lost and wayward ambassador had cried many times in Gerwald's sight. His comfort was often given as guidance to an end she could reconcile or live with. He could not give it now. It was no longer his place to do so. She had made that decision for the both of them.

The wolf had to reconcile their past with their new reality. Nothing would ever be as it had been. It could never be again. Whatever it was she sought here, it had not been Gerwald. She had come to meet with the man the wolf had just executed. The thought that she had been the one this man had just double crossed the Sith Order for did occur to him. It was why the conflict which Gerwald felt internally was etched in his eyes. Palm would see it, she had always been able to see in his eyes what his words would never say.

Her hand went to his cheek as she searched for some kind of answer in his gaze. Hers was fraught with all the things she wished she could put words to. How often had she tried? How long had Gerwald searched before giving up any hope that she wanted to be found? They stood, in that moment, at an impasse, and the only question that truly remained would be whether or not they would find their way past it.

Palm used his own response as the answer to his question. Only then did his facade break.

"Palm," he said as he removed her hand from his face. "I would have moved the very mountains of Geminidae for your people. I had given you my word."

He spoke a truth they both knew, though he had ignored the reason why. Their bond had been a close one. Gerwald could think of only two people in the entire galaxy who knew him better than she did. One was his master, and the other was his mate. At least she could live with some relief that the wolf she knew had not been fully consumed by the darkness. He may have been if not for Naedira. Her memory of what the Confederacy had stood for, what she had stood for even though she used the dark side, had been Gerwald's anchor.

Naedira was his true north. She always had been from the moment they met.

This time when Gerwald's gaze fell away it was not out of anger or disappointment. He was hurt. The wolf was unaware of how deep the wound went until he saw the woman's face once more. Still, he had to ask the question which had been haunting him. The one which stirred the conflict within.

"Did he bring you here in an attempt to keep the Sith at bay? Eriadu was supposed to come under our banner without bloodshed. Please tell me you are not mixed up in this."

 

[Palm-Imer]

C O N T R I T I O N​

LOCATION: Eriadu
EQUIPMENT: Ghostfire crystal Twin Lightsabers
WEARING: XxX.
TAG: Gerwald Lechner

Palm's tears continued their silent journey down her cheeks, each drop a singular tempest of emotions she could barely keep in check. Gerwald's words cut through the weight of her sorrow, each one a reminder of promises made and promises broken. Heart ached with a depth she had scarcely known, not just for the past she had lost but for the present she had found herself in—the present she found him in.

She could only watch as he removed her hand from his face, the gesture both tender and heartbreaking. It was a result of the distance that had grown between them, a chasm they could not easily bridge. The pain in his eyes mirrored her own, an unspoken acknowledgment of what they had lost. His declaration only underscored the gravity of her betrayal, and the responsibility she bore for the choices that had led them here. Palm had always envisioned this day as granting her relief, that seeing him again would remove some of the guilt but now...Now she wondered, had she done things differently, could she have kept him from this?

"I knew." She said. Palm had always known that he would have followed her to the opposite end of the galaxy of where he had been needed. Palm knew that there were dreams and hopes that the wolf would have relinquished and put on hold. And she could not bring herself to do it - because as certain as he had been of his loyalty to her, Palm also knew his truth still belonged elsewhere. No matter how much it had pained her. "You had a life to live, Gerwald. I could not take that from you." She knew he would grasp even the unsaid meanings of her words, for they were clear in her eyes.

He had given her his word, but not his heart.

And he could not honor the first, without renouncing the other.

She had broken her oath to him, and this shame and guilt she would carry until the end of her days, but with the solace of knowing it had been in the hopes of securing his own happiness. Of removing the fork in the road she had, for so long, seen him standing in front of, unable to move forward. She took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to steady herself. "When I left, it was with the belief that I could return to you one day, to explain and to make amends. But I never imagined... I never imagined this." Her gaze fell to the bloodstained floor, the stark reality of their current situation overwhelming her.

As he questioned her involvement, Palm's heart ached and even a small flare of...disbelief twisted its way into her eyes. Would he strike her down if she had? Would he set the Skelmorn loose against her? Where was the warrior, the leader, the protector she had come to love? "No, Gerwald. I was not brought here to keep the Sith at bay. My intention was never to cross paths with you like this. My mission was to secure a treaty, to ensure the survival and rebuilding of my people. I did not know... I did not know it would lead me here, to face the man I loved." Her gaze was steadfast and intense on his as she so easily said the word they had once been so afraid of.

Palm was no longer afraid of it. Not when she remembered how during all those years, the true fear came from the prospect of never again getting a chance to say it. And now she felt as though its meaning would be almost worthless to the man that stood before her. It killed her.

"I remember the man who would have sacrificed everything for honor," Her voice trembled, fighting to keep a fresh wave of tears at wave. She know found that man ensnared in the very darkness he once fought against. "Is this what you choose for yourself?" There was a shadow of brokennes as her eyes gestured towards the powerless innocent this formidable man had murdered. Was the price of finally possessing such power having to wield it against the weak, in blind obeisance to a monster?

No. Her town grew firmer, rooted in the depth of the care she still had for him, and the words carried on with thunderous certainty.

"...Because it isn't who you are."

​

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

WEARING: xxx
WEAPONS: Ferrum Solus | Blodmåne | Strømafbryder
TAG: Palm-Imer

"Of course you knew," Gerwald bit back quickly before catching his composure. He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes before he continued. "Why do you think your decision hurt so much?"

The path he took had never been Palm's decision to make. Her choice had left Gerwald with the pain of loss yet again. Gerwald had grown accustomed to it, but it was never to have come from her, not from abandonment, and not from death. Even that had been a promise she had made. The wolf had grown weary of the people he cared about, was close to, sacrificing themselves for him or the cause. Gerwald had made Palm promise that it would be his turn to give his life if it was required. She had robbed him of that the day he became Lord Commander, but she would never do so again.

The Geninaie had not left because to spare Gerwald a choice. He had already made it. The wolf had been clear that bringing Naedira back was his priority. His heart had always belonged to the auburn haired Knight Obsidian. Her death had not changed it. Many had told him to move on, and even thought Palm had showed him it was possible to do so, Gerwald remained loyal to her. His heart had always been steadfast.

Palm cut deeply with her words. How could she not anticipate that he would do anything to see his promise to the woman he loved fulfilled? Had she been naive to not know that all those Gerwald followed were Sith? This order was not the one they had fought against. At the same time the one which had murdered his mate, the one who had tortured him, still walked among those Sith, despite how silent he had grown in recent months.

Gerwald could attempt to refute her words, but what good would that do? There was a certain truth to them. Naedira often reminded him that the Sith he followed was not who they were. They had not stood for the same things the Sith Order pursued. What the wolf did not know was he served a personal mission for Empyrean himself. He could not have known he was being used a tool, at least not in the way he was. They had agreed he would be the Emperor's weapon to wield as he saw fit. Palm and Naedira both knew the truth, Gerwald would have never agreed to it had he known.

The declaration echoed in his mind.

She had loved him. Gerwald knew it. It was a truth they avoided, nor spoke about. Now it was said with ease. Clearly they had both changed. This was not the timid and cautious woman he had known, but someone bold and confident.

He nodded. At least her answer did not put him in a difficult position.

"He would have turned on you as well then."

It was a simple statement, but Palm knew the wolf well enough to know he did not say what he did not think in these matters. If he said, not only did her believe it, but he had some form of evidence to make the claim. He accused the deceased of being untrustworthy.

Her accusations did not stop. What did she know of the decisions he had made since she left? Had she been there when the Confederacy collapsed perhaps she could have claimed a small right to judge him. Instead she had abandoned him. Yet, as he looked at her, Gerwald knew one thing.

She was right.

His head hung for the first time in some time. Shame was not something the wolf often felt any longer, but it seemed that Palm was as effective at making him sense the emotion as Naedira was. Naedira knew the man she loved was not who the Sith wanted him to be. Palm knew he was simply wearing a mask.

Her words had been intentional. She did not say this was not who he was in the past. This was not who he was now.

His answer was quiet.

"Sometimes it is who I have to be." It was sincere, but she would hear the pain he felt dripping off every word. "I will tell you what I told Naedira. I am in a position to reshape the Sith Order. If I can, I must try."

Naedira had questioned whether it was possible, and Palm likely would too. Gerwald believed it. He had to believe it.

"If you need to ensure the survival of your people," Gerwald said taking a step closer to the woman, "you only need to ask."

 

[Palm-Imer]

C O N T R I T I O N​

LOCATION: Eriadu
EQUIPMENT: Ghostfire crystal Twin Lightsabers
WEARING: XxX.
TAG: Gerwald Lechner

"He would have turned on you as well then."

Palm's gaze softened, her expression a mixture of regret and resolve. She understood what he meant, but if he believed his words then he had forgotten the depths of what she had shared with him - or perhaps he had never understood it. Palm had never vied for the place Naedira occupied. Love was not constricted to one kind of bond, and while it was true that her feelings had grown in that direction, she had felt content with what she received from him. And most importantly, she had all the conviction in the world that that, whatever it had been or engame it reached, was also called love.

Her words had a struck a chord, and for a moment the geminaie queen wanted nothing more than to offer comfort. To lull him back from this pit he had jumped into and break the links of the chain he so proudly bound around his own neck. Darkness, in and of it self, she had learned to live with. He had taught her how. But this was not just Darkness. This was cruelty, power turned wanton for the sake of it. The man she wanted to comfort perhaps still stood before her, but he had been made little beneath the shadow of this executioner.

He spoke of reshaping the Sith Order as if it was a mere matter of will and choice - while claiming that who he was now had been borne out of need and not choice. She had faced that same challenge herself. She had rained down death and destruction, because she could. And she had seen the cracks it opened in her soul. At times, the most difficult thing was knowing she could have destroyed everyone in her path - and still choosing not to, for it would have destroyed her as well. One way or the other.

He had been driven by a burden that did not have to fall solely on his shoulders. And in that, she had failed him.

Then he took a step closer and her breath hitched. Tears no longer fell from her eyes, but that did not mean they carried any less sorrow. How had it come to this? He offered her his aid. Had it been any different, she would have said yes and embraced him without a secon thought. But his offer now came hand in hand with the yoke of the ones he kneeled before, and stood besides. It was not just his help, it was a bargain with the very darkness she hoped to see him reedemed of.

Yes, she wanted her systems survival and security and the Sith would deliver. In exchange for the sacrifice of their very souls.

"If you must, then try." Her voice carried a song of surrender, her body shifting ever so slightly closer, movement borne out of instinct. She had forgone any influence she had over him the moment she failed to keep her word - but there would always be hope that the man she knew he was was listening. "But it has already changed you." Gerwald wanted to lead the Order into something different. He would never get there, for he had already surrendered too much of himself to the shadows he sought to reshape. Whatever ideals he had, they clashed with the reality of what he had become and been pushed out of his reach.

Her eyes closed tightly before opening once more to meet his. A silence settled between them, and Palm wished it were possible to stop all of this in its tracks.

"I will not trade one form of oppression for another, even if it means rejecting your aid." She could not walk down that path. Never again. Her next words were for the man he used to be.

"I will carry with me the pain I've caused you, and I will always hold you in my heart." There was only one more thing left for her to say.

"I'm sorry."
​

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

WEARING: xxx
WEAPONS: Ferrum Solus | Blodmåne | Strømafbryder
TAG: Palm-Imer

She seemed as though he was resigned to whatever assessment she had made of him. It saddened the wolf to think Palm’s mind may have been closed off to the reality he presented. Gerwald had not been the only one who changed. There was part of the Palm which stood before him the wolf did not recognize. She had embraced a darkness of her own along her path and journey. Where she accused him of being held captive by the darkness he had chosen, Palm carried chains of her own which she had been free of when she was his student.

He would have helped her. It was the truth which pained him the most. Both of them had always known where they stood with each other, even if they never spoke it aloud. In his truth Gerwald knew he had loved Palm in a way that was not what she had wished for, but he had cared for her all the same. It had been the greatest trait and biggest of his downfalls to offer his loyalty to so many. She may not have been a lover, but she had been closer than a friend and more a sister to him than his own had ever been.

She should have known there was little truth to her words even as she uttered them, but the sadness in her eyes told Gerwald she believed them.

“I know it has,” he said eventually.

There was no reason for them to fight or argue with each other over things that were obvious. Gerwald could admit he had changed, and Palm would come to confess her own differences given time. Her pride had always been something which made her slow to such things, but the wolf had always been able to break beyond the hardened shell which it often formed.

“But I have not changed where it matters. The core of who I am is the same.”

That was also true, even if Gerwald found him doing things he would have never done while he was among the Confederacy. Perhaps he would have been driven to them regardless. The cataclysm changed Gerwald in ways no other event could have. Had Palm been with him, perhaps it would have changed her as well. Many who survived the experience were not the same they once had been. There were a few who were perhaps, but it was only because their nature had been formed by other experiences which bore more weight than what Gerwald had witnessed.

He shook his head at the insinuation his help came with the leash of his masters. Even if it had, Palm knew the likes of which he tethered himself to. They had always been those who had served the Confederacy in some capacity. The former Exarch herself was the one who kept him. Naedira often warned she was not the same as she had been then. It was true, but as Gerwald had observed about himself, she was still the same at the core of who she was.

It was the consolation he kept to justify the choices he had made.

“My offer to help does not come with the tether of the Sith Order. Just because I command their resources does not mean I lack my own.”

If only she would have asked him what he had been up to since they had last seen each other. Instead she accepted the narrative the bodies around him told. Palm knew he had always been capable of the bloodshed she witnessed. She had seen him kill without reason or remorse before. This was truly no different.

Her apology crushed him. The words had come after all they had discussed, not before. It felt as though it came late, but Gerwald knew it was not. Instead it was timed where she intended. A tear fell down his cheek because he did not hear I’m sorry as the words had been said. Rather the tone of it seemed to say something else entirely.

Goodbye.

He was silent for a moment. Perhaps he should have been quiet from the start and let her say everything she felt. He nodded, almost resigning himself to the fact this was where they were now. Whatever they could have been, the wolf could not see a reality where their paths moved in the same direction once more. They did not have to become the same path. It never had to be. Gerwald had always chosen Naedira in that regard. With everything they had faced, what was one more obstacle? Why not allow the wolf to see his promise to her through?

He stepped away as he spoke.

“Let me fulfill my promise to you, and if you wish that we part ways after that, then I will abide by whatever you decide.”

Palm had to have known she always held that power over him. His duty as her teacher had not stopped simply because she abandoned him.

 

[Palm-Imer]

C O N T R I T I O N​

LOCATION: Eriadu
EQUIPMENT: Ghostfire crystal Twin Lightsabers
WEARING: XxX.
TAG: Gerwald Lechner

Palm's chest tightened as Gerwald spoke, the weight of his words pressing down on her. The offer of help, free from the chains of the Sith Order, was a lifeline she desperately wanted to believe in. But the chasm between them felt insurmountable, the darkness surrounding him a constant reminder of the path he had chosen.

Her eyes traced the lines of his face, because for a moment she could see the man who had been her mentor, her confidant, her friend. The man who had made her feel safe, even when the galaxy around them had been anything but. She wanted so badly to reach out, to close the distance between them and find solace in the familiarity of his presence. But the shadows around him were too thick, too consuming.

For a moment, her resolve wavered. The memories of their time together, the bond they had shared, pulled at her heart. The thought of losing him completely was unbearable, a pain she couldn't fully express. Yet, she knew that accepting his offer would mean walking a path she had long vowed to avoid. It would mean surrendering to a darkness she could not control, a darkness that had already taken so much from her.

Darkness had not freed her, it had condemned her. These were wounds she would never heal.

Her voice was soft, almost breaking, as she finally spoke. "I wish things could be different, Gerwald. I wish we could go back," Her gaze fell to the ground, unable to meet his eyes. "But I can't walk this path with you. Not like this."

The silence that followed felt like a lifetime. She could feel the tears welling up again, but she blinked them away, steeling herself for the words she knew she had to say. "I can't follow where you're going. The darkness... it's not something I can embrace. Not anymore."

Her fingers clenched into fists at her sides, the struggle between her heart and her principles raging within her. The desire to keep him in her life was overwhelming, but she knew that she couldn't compromise her own beliefs. The beliefs he had taught her. Not even for the man himself.

With a shaky breath, she looked up at him one last time. Her heart beat heavy and bright, nearly visible through flesh and cloth. Palm moved with a speed he had never seen before, closing any distance between them. Her hands were placed at the sides of his head and she kept moving forward, until her forehead was firmly pressed against his. Eyes shut, every single limb trembling. "What you've brought into my life will never fade. You will always be a part of me." She stayed as her words echoed in the chamber, and then until she found the courage to open her eyes again and look at him. Gently but firmly her brow pushed against his once more as if to gather the strength to let him go and stepping back, and her voice was barely more than a whisper.

"I can't make you keep a promise I myself have broken." The finality of her words hung in the air, heavy and suffocating.

She turned away, each step feeling like a betrayal of the part of her that still yearned for his presence. But she kept walking, her heart aching with every stride, until the distance between them grew long, a farewell to the possibility of what might have been. Her soul felt as if she had left it behind.

A cord had been cut. But there was one single thread in it that was impossible to destroy.

She could feel it shining within her...

brighter than ever before.

​

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

WEARING: xxx
WEAPONS: Ferrum Solus | Blodmåne | Strømafbryder
TAG: Palm-Imer

Silence, it hung on the air in a way nothing else could. The wolf had spent years wondering if he would ever see his student again after she had left. Now that their paths had crossed once more, he was left wishing they had not. He had only truly known heartbreak once in his life, but now he knew it twice over. Palm had the power to do what few could boast because of what existed between them. Their lives were intertwined and had been since after that day saved each other’s lives.

When her head pressed against his, she shook. There was never a force that moved Gerwald more than his heart. He had always felt deeply, and the Sith had often allowed his emotions to be the thing to dictate his actions when he was younger. Time had taught him to steel his heart. A wall had been built around it which could only be penetrated by one person, his mate. Somehow Palm’s words and actions had broken through the barrier he had erected to guard himself.

His eyes closed. Every memory that they shared flashed through his mind as if she wanted him to remember who he had once been. Gerwald did not need the reminder. It haunted him every day that he strayed further and further from who that man had been. His servitude to the Sith had changed him, that he had already admitted. What he did not tell Palm was how much it pained him to know it was true.

She was close enough to breathe in. Her scent was one he would always remember, and it had not changed. Her twin companions could even be detected as they rarely left her side. Gerwald wondered where they were now. They would have loved to have seen him again, as much as he would have.

When Palm pushed away, Gerwald let the tears which had threatened to flow fall. The ground was stained as she reiterated how she could not follow the man he had become. His path was too far gone for her. The darkness he followed was something she could never allow into her life again. These were all the words she had spoken when they first met. Part of him knew this was a long game. He would have his true apprentice at his side again one day. For now, she could have the image of who had been.

If she walked away now, she would likely never see him for who she was again.

The wolf continued to watch as she walked away. He had stayed silent, not answering her. What was there to say that would change her mind?

Nothing.

Gerwald waited for the distance to grow between them to the point she would be forced to make a conscious decision to turn back if she willed it. He already knew she would not. If anyone knew her as well or better than she knew herself, it was him. They had spent too much time together for anything else to be true. Besides, she left with one thing still in place. He tapped the bracelet on his wrist knowing she would feel the vibration in hers.

“I am not asking you to follow me. I am not asking you to return to me. I am only asking that you let me help.”

She left, but their bond would never be broken.

It was too powerful.