You Know What They Say About Practice...

[Valae Heavenshield]

The new padawan made her way outside, just beyond the Silver Temple; another lesson in the ways of meditation had come and gone. Master Wynn had spent the majority of the lesson speaking about mindfulness, and the importance of being present. She couldn’t help but feel a bit weary after these lectures, it turned out that being sleepy did not help in her pursuit of the force. Valae had no problems understanding the theory behind meditation, but she was still finding it very difficult to put these theories to practice. There had been a few occasions during practice that she had been able to put her thoughts to the back of her mind, but feeling and connecting to the force was still out of her grasp.

She watched as some of the other padawans filtered out of the classroom and were soon lost in the crowd moving through the busy area. Valae hung her head slightly and began to walk towards the courtyard, her steps making soft sounds against the ground. By now she had attended several lessons and was beginning to feel a bit hopeless. Shouldn’t she have been able to connect with the force at this point? She could hear Master Wynn’s voice telling her that everyone was different, and that meant that everyone would progress at different speeds. Valae looked up towards the horizon, where she could see a mass of clouds forming, and tried to remind herself that she was new to all of this. “Don’t beat yourself up…” She whispered and heaved a sigh.

Valae continued to walk until she found herself in the middle of a clearing, and she took a seat in the middle of the tall grass. The padawan drew in a deep breath and let her eyes fall closed. "Okay, just focus." She said aloud, as she prepared to journey into her mind. The thoughts began to come in waves, her doubts were the first to surface, and optimistic words of encouragement came close behind. Valae continued to breathe deep and began to feel a shift inside her. Instead of getting caught up in each thought, she was able to move aside and view them from the point of an observer. Inhale – she reflected briefly upon the current thought. Exhale – she let it go, and felt any remaining emotional reaction flow away. When she felt herself starting to lose focus, she placed her hand on her abdomen and concentrated on the rhythm of her breathing.

Valae felt the cool touch of the breeze upon her face, and let herself sink deeper. The thoughts became a calming white noise, and she felt her mind becoming still. Her awareness shifted again, and there was a light in the darkness. For a brief moment, Valae felt as though a spark ignited within, and it grew and expanded until it reached past her being. Bathed in the gentle glow of energy, she felt herself stretching and reaching out, no longer confined to the limits of her mind. Valae’s dark eyes snapped open, and she was propelled back to reality. The clouds had rolled in above her, the trees were swaying in the growing winds, and she realized that she was still sitting cross legged on the ground.

She could no longer feel the strange energy around her, but she knew it was still there. A smile grew on her face when she realized that she had finally accomplished the first step towards connecting with the force. In that brief space of time, she had found it, and it was the light at the end of the tunnel. Valae stood up and began to walk, her steps were light and upbeat as they carried her back to the Silver Temple. This breakthrough gave her hope, but she knew that there was a long road ahead...

 

[Valae Heavenshield]

Valae woke early the next day, her eyes blinked opened in the soft morning light that filtered into her quarters. She sat up in bed and stretched, feeling very refreshed after a night of deep and dreamless sleep. Valae’s dark eyes took in her surroundings, she was still getting used to waking up on Voss, and slowly becoming to think of it as her home. There was part of her that still longed for the bright mornings on Tatooine, and waking to see her father just coming home from a night-time bender. It was in that moment she realized just how much she missed her father. She let out a long sigh and rubbed her forehead for a moment, determined not to cry again. Her lessons would be starting soon and she didn’t want to turn up looking like a mess.

The padawan shifted to the edge of her bed, letting her legs dangle off the side as she summoned the motivation to get up. Valae’s feet finally made contact with the floor and she moved to her small kitchenette. She fixed herself a cup of tea and had a seat at her small table. Valae turned her attention to the golden liquid inside the cup, and the warm herbal steam that was rising up into the air. She let her mind go quiet and she felt herself falling into stillness. Valae let her breathing become deep and rhythmic, filling and emptying her lungs with each inhale and exhale.

In the dark of her mind, her father’s face filled her thoughts and she let herself observe this without being overcome with emotion. Valae acknowledged that she was lonely without his company, and that even though he was gone, she still loved him very much. This experience had filled her with sadness, but it would fade with time. However, she was beginning to feel that the loss of her father had left a lasting mark upon her. As Valae continued to meditate, she began to feel a lightness take over her, as it rose from her heart and stretched out all around her. It was the feeling of knowing that her father was in a better place now, no longer followed by shadows.

Valae fell deeper into her mind, and just past the thoughts of Atticus, she could see that same glowing ember she’d found the day before. It was as though she had pulled back a set of heavy curtains to reveal a secret that had always been within her. It was getting easier to find it now that she knew where it resided. The padawan remained there for a moment, letting the strange energy grow with each breath in, collecting slowly within her. As the force grew to what she visualized as a ball of light, she exhaled and let it go again. She felt the force dimming and settling back into place, unseen but not forgotten.

She opened her eyes to find that her cup was no longer steaming, but she smiled as she took a drink. It was nearly time for her lessons, and Valae left the cup on the table as she went about getting ready for the day.

 

[Valae Heavenshield]

On a sleepless night Valae found herself sitting in the empty courtyard. Darkness had fallen long ago, and it was now more early morning than it was night. The padawan wore her cotton training clothes and her woolen robe was wrapped tightly about her, easily fending off the slight chill in the still air. Valae had been devoting much of her free time to meditation practice, and she found that her lessons were going much better as a result. Now she was able to follow along with the guided meditations during class, and she left each time feeling a sense of accomplishment. It was getting easier to find her connection to the force, it was happening faster, but still required much of her concentration. She knew that she would soon be able to move on to attempting more of the basic force skills, as her foundation was growing stronger and steadier with each day.

It was dark enough that she didn’t need to close her eyes to concentrate, but she did so anyway. Once more the stillness began to flow over her, covering her gently like a gossamer veil. Her hands sat in her lap, both palms were open and facing upwards towards the sky. Slowly she began to connect to the force, she focused on the spark within her, as it was easiest for her to find. After a few moments she began to let her concentration expand, letting her connection with the force reach out to her surroundings. The tendrils of awareness began to spread further than ever before, Valae remained present in the experience, and the world around her began to speak.

The stillness was broken by the movements of a single white moth, fluttering along in the moonlight. Valae sensed the gentle beating of the insect’s wings, each time it sent a gentle ripple through her connection. After a few moments she felt the moth moving away, traveling deeper into the night. Next, her attention was brought to the trees that towered around the courtyard. She could feel their energy rising steadily from their branches and leaves, flowing out into the air and swirling in the breeze. Valae let herself fall deeper into her mediation and her senses reached even further. She noticed that there was a serene mantle around the Temple; it told her that the many students were quiet in slumber. Valae wondered how many of them were fond of nighttime meditation; it was as rejuvenating as a good night’s sleep. Her attention wavered with this thought, and she felt her connection start to wane. She drew in a deep breath and attempted to quiet her mind once more. The padawan’s senses reached out again, her awareness heightened and she decided to concentrate only on experiencing this sensation. It was a lot to get used to. However, now that she had a point of familiarity, it would enable her to reach this point faster next time.

Valae finally let her mind wander and she stood up from her spot in the courtyard. It would soon be morning, and she figured that she should try to get some sleep before her lessons. She walked back inside the temple, though this time she could still feel the force around her. The padawan’s confidence grew, and she knew that she would be able to build upon this experience. It was only a matter of time…