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Eriu

- - - - - Star System Unknown Regions Nagai

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#1
Kaine Australis

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OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

GENERAL INFORMATION

  • Planet Name: Eriu
  • Demonym: Eriu Nagai
  • Region: Unknown Regions
  • System Name: Eriu System
  • System Features: Main sequence Yellow star at the early stages of life. Surrounded by a reflection type nebula capable of preventing the star's light from escaping the area, the system has remained hidden from prying eyes for some time.

    A messy outer system cloud of nebula gas, comets and asteroids surrounds the inner system. The system is made up of seven planets, of which four are habitable; six terrestrial, and one outer gas giant.
  • Location: A-28 (ss)
  • Major Imports: High Technology, Raw Materials, Foodstuffs
  • Major Exports: Military equipment, Manufacturing equipment, Luxury goods, Warriors, Mastercrafted Blades, Artwork
  • Unexploited Resources: NeutroniumDoonium, Songsteel, Phrik, Kyber Crystals, Aurodium

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GEOGRAPHIC INFORMATION

 

Gravity : Standard

Climate : Temperate

Terrain : Grassland, Plains, Desert, Mountains, Ocean

Atmosphere : Type I

 

LOCATION INFORMATION:
 
Capital City: Arcadia Civitas
Planetary Features: Scattered towns and villages with only the one major city integrated into the natural environment on the west coast of the continent. Almost every form of terrain and climate can be found at one point or another on the main landmass or one of the outlying island chains.
 
Major Locations:

  • Tracyn'Marev - Nearby inner planet, given a name in Mando'a, for the Nagai's native home galaxy. It is a molten sea of heavy metals, very close to the star. Rich in ore, this is a prime location for mining. It is an important cultural icon to the Nagai of Eriu, as its orbit is congruent with that of their world, making it a near-permanent fixture in the sky both day and night.
     
  • Eriu -  The planet's name is shared by the planetary continent. It is mostly ocean, with one large landmass and several tiny island chains. The land mass is divided into several sub-regions, including the capital city; Arcadia, with the highest population density and the main economic hub of both the planet and the system.
     
  • Arcadia - Capital City of Eriu, rising from the wilderness, with the natural vegetation incorporated into the cityscape, it is a wonder to behold. Located on the western tip of the continent, it overlooks both the grassy plains and the wide planetary ocean.
     
  • Uberwald Forest - Located east of the capital beyond the surrounding hills, this dark and forbidding forest covers the entire plain between the planetary ocean and the mountain range that bisects the contenent. Many native and introduced species make their homes here, and it is a dangerous place, but excellent for hunting.
     
  • Great Forbidden Desert - This area represents the limit of eastern exploration prior to technological advancement making it possible. It is a vast desert region devoid of vegetation and water sources, making it near impossible to traverse on foot. It makes an excellent natural barrier for the enclaves of the East.
     
  • Far Eastern Enclaves - These trading outposts located on the Eastern limit of the planetary continent were long isolated by the great deserts. The locals still maintain their own mercantile subculture despite long centuries of planetary unification. With their own architectural style reflecting their long isolation, these Nagai are particularly suspicious of outsiders, even as they are willing to trade with them.
     
  • Nagai/Mandalorian Yards - Located in orbit around the planet, these expansive shipyards fuel the boom in local industry, as well as providing a link between industry on Eriu and other places insystem.

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POPULATION

  • Native Species: Various native non-sentient avian, mammalian, reptilian, insect and aquatic species.
  • Immigrated Species: Mix between humans and other sentient species, with large alien populations. Includes; Nagai,  Wookiees, Togorians, Besalisks, Trandoshans, Duros, Nautolans, Kiffar, Firrereo. Introduced species include; Maalraas, Olbio TreeVornskr, Ysalamiri
  • Population: Moderate : Approximately 7,000,000
  • Demographics: Primarily humans and Nagai, though with a large alien population. 35% Nagai 25% Human 40% Other. Species matters less than ability and prejudice of any kind is frowned upon.
  • Primary Languages: Nagai, Galactic Standard Basic, Mando'a
  • Culture: Warrior society. The local warrior culture gels well with the Mandalorians.

    The militaristic nature of the local Nagai societies, combined with the will to avoid world-devastating conflicts in future led to unification under a single strong ruling government. 

    Represented by leaders who actually further the best interests of the people, participation is high and tolerance for incompetence and corruption is low.

    Wars have been replaced with sporting contests, both individual and team based, with the various games and contests slightly on the violent side compared to galactic norms.

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GOVERNMENT & ECONOMY

  • Government: Federal Republic
  • Affiliation: Clan Australis
  • Wealth: High - Extensive primary industry, mineral wealth as well as booming agriculture and aquaculture.
  • Stability: High - Economic prosperity leads to little crime or unrest. Local police presence is conducive to good public behaviour.
  • Freedom & Oppression: Personal freedoms are enshrined in law. Society encourages striving to benefit the whole. Respect for the law is high, because the law reflects clearly the will of the people.

MILITARY & TECHNOLOGY

  • Military: Limited local militias and ground and air forces. Small spacefaring navy with modern equipment.
  • Technology: Exposure to modern galactic technology.

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HISTORICAL INFORMATION

Discovered during an expedition to map out new worlds suitable for colonization; an accident sent one of the scouts tumbling out of control into a local reflection nebula. It was well known to local spacers of course, but what wasn't known was that there was a star system inside it, much less an inhabited one with several habitable planets.
 
Inside the nebula, which is located on the very edge of the galactic plane, the system's second planet was home to a thriving Nagai civilization who had progressed over thousands of years.

 

Cut off by a lack of interstellar vessels and the nature of the star system, the original colonists, marooned, were forced to adapt to life on their new home, and technology had to be invented and progress in order for the local Nagai to return to space.
 
Development of the system's unique culture and technology continued over a long time, with ever-larger groups vying for power, both economic and political.
 
The local Nagai technology eventually progressed to the point where global conflict was a possibility, and soon after that, a reality. The geography of the planet, with a large ocean and massive continental mass meant no large physical barriers between warring powers. The ensuing war was brutal and devastating.

Instantaneous global communication was the saviour of the locals, allowing for the first cease fire and then peace treaties. The following accords began the transformation of the local militarism into a zeal to avoid future conflict, and to strive to better one's self and one's people.

Advances into technology have allowed the local Nagai to begin exploring their solar system, even forming small scientific outposts on several other bodies insystem.

Due to the nature of the nebula surrounding the system, the locals cannot see any other stars or stellar bodies.
 
Searching for a new home for Clan Australis well away from Mandalorian space, Clan explorers in scout spheres made first contact with the local inhabitants. After finding common ground on culture, the Mandalorian promise of advanced technology and access to galactic markets won over the locals, and they signed an alliance, eager to make credits.
 
Economic prosperity ensued, as Mandalorian firms engaged with locals to uplift the local manufacturing base, and utilize advanced terraforming and construction options, including nanoconstruction, to best take advantage of the system's vast resources.


Edited by Kaine Australis, 10 September 2019 - 01:45 AM.

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'It gives me strength to have somebody to fight for; I can never fight for myself, but for others, I can kill.'

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#2
Elpsis Kerrigan-Alcori

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Kaine Australis

 

First of all, I like the pics. I can see a lot of work went into the sub. However, there are some matters that need to be clarified before we can proceed.

 

This planet submission brings Firefist into Chaos. Codex staff has ruled that you can use the species that live in it (e.g Nagai), but bringing extragalactic locations/custom planets into Chaos with some minor tweaks is not allowed. So you will have to change the name and distinguish your submission more from the Firefist satellite galaxy.

 

 

Planet I (Firefist) Gravity : Half Standard Climate : Inhospitable Terrain : Barren Rock Type IV Planet II (Ireland) Gravity : Standard Climate : Temperate Terrain : Grassland, Plains, Desert, Mountains, Ocean Atmosphere : Type I Planet III Gravity : Standard Climate : Temperate Terrain : Grassland, Forest, Plains, Mountains, Ocean Atmosphere : Type I Planet IV Gravity : Half-standard Climate : Arctic Terrain : Mountains, Steppe, Ice Atmosphere : Type I Planet VGravity : One Eighth-Standard Climate : Arctic Terrain : Steppe, Ice Atmosphere : Type I Planet VI Gravity : Half-standard Climate : Inhospitable Terrain : Rocky Desert Atmosphere : Type IV Planet VII Gravity : Massive Climate : Inhospitable Terrain : None Atmosphere : Type IV (Gas Giant)

 

Furthermore, this submission seems to be incorporating multiple custom planets into one sub. It is ambiguous which planet this submission is supposed to be about. These custom worlds need to be separated.

 

Overall, this reads more like a star systems submission. There is a template for star systems in the Locations forum, but this is planets. Planets can be added to the map, but systems cannot.

 

Likewise obvious Earth-like terms such as Ireland should be avoided. Being inspired by real world things is fine, we all are for obvious reasons, so is switching up the wording a bit, but not directly naming it after an existing RL country.


Edited by Elpsis Kerrigan-Alcori, 07 September 2019 - 11:14 AM.

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#3
Kaine Australis

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Elpsis Kerrigan-Alcori No worries, i've removed the extra bits and will do a system sub separately to incoporate the other planets. Also changed the names and such, plus added a bit in the description to clarify that the planet is in this galaxy.


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'It gives me strength to have somebody to fight for; I can never fight for myself, but for others, I can kill.'

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#4
Elpsis Kerrigan-Alcori

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Kaine Australis

 

Thank you for understanding and making those edits.

 

 

 

Major Locations: Firefist - Inner planet, named for the Nagai's native home galaxy, a molten sea of heavy metals, very close to the star. Rich in ore, this is a prime location for mining. Eriu - Capital World and the main economic and cultural hub of the system with the highest population. It is mostly ocean, with one large landmass and several tiny island chains. Arcadia - Capital City of Ireland, rising from the wilderness, with the natural vegetation incorporated into the cityscape, it is a wonder to behold. Nagai/Mandalorian Yards - Located in orbit around the fifth planet, these expansive shipyards fuel the boom in local industry.

 

 

'Ireland' is still mentioned here. Also this section seems to be more about the system in general instead of the planet Eriu. Please rework this to make it specifically about Eriu. Like, its capital city, shipyards in its orbit, landmarks, or anything that's appropriate.

 

 

The edit in history is good, but presently that section reads more like an overview of the systems' history in general and sheds little light on stuff specific to Eriu.

 

The submission should mainly be about the planet, though it is perfectly OK to reference things pertaining to the system in general, such as other planets, suns etc. in 'Systems Features'.

 

 

 

Native Species: Nagai, Various native non-sentient avian, mammalian, reptilian, insect and aquatic species. Immigrated Species: Mix between humans and other sentient species, with large alien populations.

 

I think the Nagai would be an immigrated species since they didn't start here. They were stranded. Also could you please list the other alien species of note (and hyperlink any unusual ones, if they exist)?

 

 

Your other stuff (image links etc.) checks out, so once these matters are attended to, we can move to the next stage.


Edited by Elpsis Kerrigan-Alcori, 07 September 2019 - 11:45 AM.

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#5
Kaine Australis

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Elpsis Kerrigan-Alcori No worries at all. Planets take a bit more care and attention to detail, and I really appreciate the help.

I've fixed the locations so they pertain more to the planet, and added some more. Also fixed the Nagai to immigrated species.


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'It gives me strength to have somebody to fight for; I can never fight for myself, but for others, I can kill.'

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#6
Elpsis Kerrigan-Alcori

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Kaine Australis

 

 

Pending secondary approval by a Codex Commissariat official of High Inquisitor clearance or above. Praise Ashira.


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#7
John Locke

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Elpsis Kerrigan-AlcoriKaine Australis

 

This looks solid.

 

Approved


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#8
John Locke

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Good Morning Kaine Australis

 

My apologies for this, but upon re-reading the submission I noticed something that slipped by me on the initial read through of the submission. 

 

Namely the second planet you mention.

 

Firefist - Nearby inner planet, named for the Nagai's native home galaxy, a molten sea of heavy metals, very close to the star. Rich in ore, this is a prime location for mining. It is an important cultural icon to the Nagai of Eriu, as its orbit is congruent with that of their world, making it a near-permanent fixture in the sky both day and night.

 

As the codex judge who dealt with this submission previously pointed out below use of this name for a planet was deemed not to be allowed by codex staff.

 

This planet submission brings Firefist into Chaos. Codex staff has ruled that you can use the species that live in it (e.g Nagai), but bringing extragalactic locations/custom planets into Chaos with some minor tweaks is not allowed. So you will have to change the name and distinguish your submission more from the Firefist satellite galaxy.

 

I have a few ideas how we could deal with this to provide to you to go over so we can re-approve this planet for you as quickly and as pain-free as possibly. 

 

The first, and perhaps easiest option, is to just rename the planet. While I understand that the planet is a cultural icon, a name such as New Firefist, or Firefist II would provide enough of a distinction so as to be acceptable while allowing it to remain a cultural icon to the Nagai. 

 

Another option would be to turn the planet into a moon although even in that case it might be best to change the name of the planet as per above. 

 

Once again my apologies for missing this on the first run through. Please tag me back once you've have a change to read through my post with your thoughts.


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#9
Kaine Australis

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John Locke No worries, let me know if the new name is still too close to the original.


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'It gives me strength to have somebody to fight for; I can never fight for myself, but for others, I can kill.'

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#10
John Locke

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Kaine Australis

 

To be honest it really is. While you can keep the name, I'd really prefer if there was some kind of distinction from the original name entirely.


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#11
Kaine Australis

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John Locke I understand the need to keep distinctions from canon names, and im willing to adjust as necessary. I've put up another alternative.


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'It gives me strength to have somebody to fight for; I can never fight for myself, but for others, I can kill.'

rdqOfV0.png8xM9kaxH_o.pngbest-mando.gif


#12
John Locke

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Kaine Australis

 

It does read differently, even though this is just Firefist translated into Mandalorian. You're still very close to the original, but it's different enough that I'll accept it here. 

 

Thank you for making these edits.

 

Approved


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