Jump to content

  • Log In with Google Sign In
  • Create Account
Photo

Venturian Class Battlecruiser "Hope's Last Vestige"

- - - - - Imperial Federation Unique

  • This topic is locked This topic is locked
12 replies to this topic

#1
Levanthal Eastwind

Levanthal Eastwind

    Character

  • Character
    • Character Bio
  • 48 posts
OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

PRODUCTION INFORMATION
  • Manufacturer: Imperial Federation Shipyards
  • Affiliation: The Imperial Federation
  • Model: N/A
  • Production: Unique (Until federation is bigger)
  • Material: Durasteel https://starwars.fan.../wiki/Durasteel

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS

Ion Engines

80 Turbo Lasers

2 Orbital auto cannons
1 Incinerator Class Plasma Railgun


ADVANCED SYSTEMS

Strengths:
  • The ship is very powerful and a ship that can defend itself in tight situations, with very good shielding
  • The ship is still very powerful without the shielding and still can take massive hits

Weaknesses:
  • The Ship is very slow and is not the best at maneuvering.
  • A shot into the Plasma Railgun while it is fully charged, can blow up the entire ship.
  • The ship has to drop its shields to fire its orbital auto cannon and Plasma Railgun.

Description: The ship is meant for large scale warfare. Its job is to sit above a planet and destroy bases with its Orbital Cannons. It is suppose to be very strong against heavy weaponry and can take many hits. Its bridge is designed to be a trap and hard to get to with many Turbo Lasers defending it, its shielding is very powerful up there and will not be the easiest thing to take out even with its shields down it can take a hit.

Edited by Levanthal Eastwind, 27 September 2019 - 08:22 PM.


#2
Alkor Centaris

Alkor Centaris

    C O N T E M P T

  • Factory Judge
  • 1,924 posts
Under Review

#3
Alkor Centaris

Alkor Centaris

    C O N T E M P T

  • Factory Judge
  • 1,924 posts
Hi there, Levanthal Eastwind and welcome to the factory! So glad you decided to take a shot at creating your own Star Wars experience here on Chaos. Let me give you a hand and show you a little of how we do things.

First of all, you can remove the first bit of text from the submission. For reference, you are allowed a unique, personal ship at 2000m per the Factory Standard rules. Also, please link any materials you use from either a submission here on Chaos or from Wookiepedia. (For instance, Durasteel. )

If you're using canon tech, please link to the relevant articles as well. That allows people who look at your subs to get a good feel for what they're working with.

As for the Xythan Force Shields, there isn't much here to work with. You could probably say that it is highly effective against laser/turbolaser fire/energy based weaponry, but it struggles or isn't much to speak of when dealing with mass drivers or other ballistics.

Also, if you're firing your ion cannons, you would probably have to drop the shielding as well or risk deadening your defenses for a brief amount of time, since it is energy based.

Since you have maneuverability listed as a weakness, I would take the rating down to low or very low to reflect that.

Because you have such low ratings for your speed/hyperdrive/Manueverability, and this is a unique submission, you could also raise your armament to Extreme to reflect the devastating power of the main cannon/autocannons

I would personally keep the Defenses about where they are, especially if you adapt the ballistic weakness for the Force Shields, so those are fine at High.

You could bring the Hangar up a few notches, possibly even to High and give it an ordinate number of ships to help with defense/harrying enemy fighters while the ship works to destroy structures on the planetary surface.

You could flesh out the Description a bit more, possibly some fluff about its creation and service to give it more story and personalize it. Not absolutely necessary, of course.

Thanks for your patience!

#4
Alkor Centaris

Alkor Centaris

    C O N T E M P T

  • Factory Judge
  • 1,924 posts
Hey there, Levanthal Eastwind, just checking to see what the status on this submission is?

Edited by Brukhalian, 15 September 2019 - 01:58 AM.


#5
Levanthal Eastwind

Levanthal Eastwind

    Character

  • Character
    • Character Bio
  • 48 posts
I’m sorry it slipped my mind, I should have it edited by tonight.Brukhalian

#6
Levanthal Eastwind

Levanthal Eastwind

    Character

  • Character
    • Character Bio
  • 48 posts

Brukhalian I have updated it to your suggestions, I have replaced the flack cannons and point defense with Turbo lasers, and uped the amount, if you'd like i can still change and lower it

 



#7
Alkor Centaris

Alkor Centaris

    C O N T E M P T

  • Factory Judge
  • 1,924 posts
Levanthal Eastwind

I see you've updated the links, that's good; however, you still need to remove the red text at the top of the submission as it's unnecessary clutter.

You're also going to have to either have proof from Visanj that you have permission to use her shield generator, or you're going to need to change that to something that's open market or already canon.

You still need to link Durasteel to the wookie sub under your materials.

And I would boost the armament rating to Extreme, here, but you're welcome to leave it as is.

Edited by Brukhalian, 20 September 2019 - 10:10 PM.


#8
Levanthal Eastwind

Levanthal Eastwind

    Character

  • Character
    • Character Bio
  • 48 posts
Alkor Centaris I have made the edits you have asked for and changed the shield to deflector and iont

#9
Alkor Centaris

Alkor Centaris

    C O N T E M P T

  • Factory Judge
  • 1,924 posts
Levanthal Eastwind

If you could just remove the mention of the Invictus Shield generator from the submission for me I think we're good to go.

#10
Levanthal Eastwind

Levanthal Eastwind

    Character

  • Character
    • Character Bio
  • 48 posts
Alkor Centaris done, sorry, I thought I did it.

#11
Alkor Centaris

Alkor Centaris

    C O N T E M P T

  • Factory Judge
  • 1,924 posts
Levanthal Eastwind

Real quick if you could edit out those BBCodes that are broken or fix them, I'll let you do that before I approve this.

#12
Levanthal Eastwind

Levanthal Eastwind

    Character

  • Character
    • Character Bio
  • 48 posts
Alkor Centaris done

#13
Alkor Centaris

Alkor Centaris

    C O N T E M P T

  • Factory Judge
  • 1,924 posts
<p>Approved.</p>