Feedback 50+ Posts, Feedback and Criticism

[Falentra]

I have reached 50 posts on Falentra, previously known as Nouqai Veil.

Nouqai was created for the sole purpose of rping in this thread as I wanted in on the action.

I created a new char just for this. her life might be short lived.

It was really not my intent to have her become my main charrie, but that happened. I have time skipped her quite a bit from 14-18. Some might say that I'm going a little too fast on her, but its just one timeskip. And I might have commissioned quite a few art for the cool tentacle haired freak.

Story so far:

Spoiler

She was stolen from a sith lab and raised in jedi temple. Nouqai was quite a determined apprentice/student. Her first traumatic darkside encounter was in her first thread, behind the enemy lines. She started apprenticeship under Grrwunhoooll Agaburry. She had passed all her other trials, but after failing multiple trials of spirit, she essentially gave up and found her way to Darth Malum of House Marr. Her former master tries to convince her to go back she is unwilling so he goes back to the Jedi council to claims she is dead as agreed upon. She is now apprentice to Darth Malum of House Marr.

As a faithful apprentice of Darth Malum, she would be under the sith order by default. However, her personality is more aligned as a dark Jedi rather than sith. She is also rather young and has a lot to figure out and mature. also... greg.

I have her story planned quite a decent bit into the future. And some of you who I rp with would have figured out how I am as a writer, in terms of my plotting and creative styles. It has its pros, cons and flaws definitely. I'm open to feedback, compliments, constructive criticism and discussion on both character and my rp styles.



The only thing im not comfortable with here is comments fetishising tentacles in any way, so please keep that in mind as you proceed.

 

[Darth Malum of House Marr]

Only doing this because she threatened to stab me.

Phew, so what can I say about Falentra/Nouqai.

I love her as a character in concept, perhaps not as traditionally rare in the idea of a Jedi falling to the Darkside, but its certainly something I didn't see too much often on Chaos (only been here 2 years, sue me), so definitely been fun watching you play it out. Of course on the physical conceptual level you have done something incredibly unique in going for an aquatic character, not super rare by any means, but I definitely think it is pretty rare, and has definitely done a lot in establishing her as a unique character on Chaos.

I look forward to where Malum and Falentra's master/apprentice relationship takes them, but this is where I would add a point of criticism.

I already know where their relationship is going to go, because you plan so heavily ahead. Now that by itself is not a bad thing, better sometimes a plan, than no plan after all.

However, sometimes they just feel so absolute, and so... one-sided conceptually, that you sometimes feel like you are being railroaded plot wise. However, in saying that, if that feeling is expressed, you are very good at making sure everything is cool, winding it back to explain your process, and have both writers included.

Just something to consider.

It is definitely cool and okay to have pre-existing ideas and arcs in mind for your character and work to achieve them, but at the same time, those are the beginning expectations, any interesting ideas that come after should be discussed between both parties even if very cool ideas, to make sure they don't go against pre-existing expectations.

At the end of the day, TLDR would just be, I really like the character both conceptually and materially, and communication, communication, communication.