Private Attunement to the Force

[Inanna Harth]

Cool air wafted up from the mouth of the cave. It was pitch black inside, with only a faint greenish glow deep within the depths to guide their way. That is, until Inanna activated her lightsaber, using the yellow light to dispel the darkness.

“It’s a little far inside, but the cave is large and stable,” she told Gatz. “No need to worry about getting stuck in a tight space or crushed underneath falling rocks.”

After about an hour of trekking across the Khoonda Plains, she and her apprentice had made it to the crystal caves. They had to fend off hordes of kinrath—and there were probably plenty more inside the cave—but they were making steady progress.

Gatz needed a real lightsaber crystal to replace the synthetic one he’d been using. Most Jedi went to Ilum to get their crystals, but Inanna had a strong feeling he wouldn’t find what he was looking for there. Instead, her instincts had led her to Dantooine, home to settlers, ruins, and rarely explored caves containing a wide variety of crystals suitable for lightsabers. An unusual place, but then nothing about Gatz's training so far had been usual.

Turning to her apprentice, she said, “Ready when you are.”

Gatz Derrevar​

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Outfit | Lightsaber
Tag: Inanna Harth

His robes were covered in freaky ass alien spider blood.

Seriously, why were kinrath allowed to exist? They had to be an invasive species! They were human-sized arachnids that had a special talon—longer than his arm—specifically intended to inject their prey with venom. A venom, by the way, that supposedly liquidated their food from the inside out. Gatz didn't like killing, but he felt like he was doing Dantooine a favor with every kinrath he cut down.

How many settlers and farmers had died to these things?

Gatz was almost relieved when they made it to the cave entrance... until he felt the presence of many life forms within. This was where they nested, wasn't it? It made sense. The kinrath were blind, and used their ability to sense heat to track down prey. A damp, cool cave was the perfect place for them to rest—where the ambient temperature was lower than anywhere else on the planet, and any intruders could be noticed immediately.

“Ready when you are.”

He was about as ready as he could be. Maybe a mite tired from killing kinrath, but hardly exhausted. He did have one question for his master though, that he'd refrained from asking until now...

"Inanna, I don't want to sound ungrateful," Gatz started, "but is there a particular reason you chose to have us deal with freaky alien spiders over a little snow?"

 

[Inanna Harth]

Inanna shrugged. “The Force told me to bring you here. Besides, Ilum is boring. Everyone goes there to find a crystal—but it’s hardly the only place in the galaxy where you can find them.” Nudging the remnants of a hatched kinrath nest with her foot, she added, “Plus, this place has more variety. You’ll see.

"But first." She handed him a small, slightly slimy object. "This is a kinrath scent gland. I harvested it from one of the creatures we killed earlier. As long as you don't disturb them, they won't attack you."

Once he had taken the gland, she would lead the way into the darkness. The caverns were vast and complex; it was easy to get lost in its many passages. But Inanna kept a specific course, as though she knew exactly where to go.

Of course, they weren’t alone. The kinrath were skittering in the shadows. But just as Inanna had claimed, they didn't attack the two Jedi.

The faint, distant luminosity they had glimpsed before grew brighter the deeper they traveled. Finally, they reached a large chamber which glowed brightly. These crystal formations were not as plentiful as those on Ilum, but they were spectacular in their own way. Captivated by the sight, Inanna just stood there for a moment and took it all in, deactivating her lightsaber so as not to detract from the beauty of the caverns.

Gatz Derrevar​

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Outfit | Lightsaber
Tag: Inanna Harth

Of the few reasons Inanna listed for bringing him to Dantooine, the one he accepted the most was "Ilum is boring." It was also probably the most ridiculous reason presented, but they were both nothing if not ridiculous and exciting Jedi. So, freaky ass alien spiders or not, Gatz decided to be grateful that he'd been given a master who wasn't some stodgy old relic in a robe.

Though, admittedly, he made a face when Inanna handed him the... scent gland? But he took it anyways, dutiful—if self-destructive—Padawan that he was.

"...They aren't going to try and mate with me now that I smell like one of them, are they? Because I think I'd take being injected with venom over that."

Humor didn't keep the kinrath at bay like the scent gland would, but bad jokes had always been how Gatz coped with fear and anxiety. And he was both afraid and anxious: afraid of approaching a kinrath nest in the dark, and anxious that he might be too stunted to bond with a crystal somehow. Still... though he possessed a coward's heart, he had long since stopped letting it dictate his actions.

So into the dark cave he went, on his master's heels.

"How do you know about this place?" He asked, just to keep his mind occupied, "did your master bring you here—"

But his question died on his lips, as he finally took in the smattering of crystals within the cave. He'd never been to Ilum, but he had heard many stories about the beauty of the crystal caverns. If the pallet of shimmering light before him was even a tenth of the luminosity of that world... then Ilum just might very well be the most beautiful place in the galaxy.

And this cave on Dantooine wasn't too shabby either.

 

[Inanna Harth]

"...They aren't going to try and mate with me now that I smell like one of them, are they? Because I think I'd take being injected with venom over that."

Inanna practically cackled at his remark. “Just say no, Gatz. They’ll understand.”

"How do you know about this place? Did your master bring you here—"

“No.” Her next response was immediate and almost brisk, her smile fading a little. “I never went on a trip like this. I already had a… well, a rock collection I had amassed over the years. My lightsaber crystals came from that.”

The thought occurred to her that maybe the Force had guided them here for herself as well as Gatz. Perhaps she was overdue to find a proper crystal, one which was naturally attuned to her rather than one she had grown accustomed to. But, she didn’t want to make this trip about her. She pushed those thoughts down, focusing on the task at hand.

“Go ahead and take a look around,” she instructed Gatz. “Open yourself to the Force, meditate, go for a walk around the cave. Whatever gets you in the zone. As far as I know, your crystal will call to you. It wants to be found.”

Gatz Derrevar​

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Outfit | Lightsaber
Tag: Inanna Harth

The way Inanna's voice changed, as he asked after her own gathering, had his brow furrowing. Gatz had thought the question innocent enough, but the way she responded reminded him of the way he responded when people asked after his family. Or, in his case, the lack thereof. Like there was an old wound there, scabbed over, yet still festering.

"Why... didn't your master bring you on a trip like this?"

It struck him that he still didn't really know the first thing about Inanna. He knew she had a husband and two kids—one of which he hadn't even met. He knew she'd been part of the Order, then not, then was again. He knew she struggled with academics and training the way he had. And he knew, by her own admission, that she used to make a living "using her body." He assumed that meant she'd been a hired killer, using her mastery over shapeshifting to take on a predator's lethal form.

Gatz wanted to ask about... well, just her. But everyone had their secrets, and they kept them for a reason. Also, this wasn't exactly the time.

“Go ahead and take a look around,” she instructed Gatz. “Open yourself to the Force, meditate, go for a walk around the cave. Whatever gets you in the zone. As far as I know, your crystal will call to you. It wants to be found.”

"Yeah, okay... I'll just..."

He frowned for a second, legs carrying him a few steps away from his master. He did feel a sort of... pull. Like something was tugging at him, but it was too gentle and too vague for him to figure out from where. Gatz figured inspecting the crystals one by one would take too long, so he lowered himself to the ground in order to begin meditating.

 

[Inanna Harth]

"Why... didn't your master bring you on a trip like this?"

Inanna didn’t answer immediately. It was an inevitable question that he was bound to ask her at some point, but she had been dreading this moment. Nor was this the best time to talk about it, when he was in the middle of reaching a major milestone as a Jedi.

“The first time I tried to be a Jedi, I never got to the point where I was assigned a master,” she finally replied. “Then the second time around, at the Vonnuvi Enclave, I was deemed advanced enough that a master wasn’t necessary. The only time I ever had a master…” She took a deep breath, exhaling in a sigh before continuing, “...was when I went undercover as a Sith.”

That was a long story in and of itself. She tried to avoid thinking about that period of her life as much as possible. Sometimes she couldn’t. It made her feel stupid, remembering how foolish and idealistic she had been. You’d think that after the life she had led, she wouldn’t have any innocence left. But the Sith had a way of rooting out the most vulnerable parts of you, weak spots you didn’t even know you had, and exploiting them to their fullest.

She watched as Gatz sat down on the cave floor, crossing his legs and attempting to meditate. Then she shifted her gaze off of him, not wanting him to feel like she was staring. Instead she looked around at the crystals, still wondering at their radiance and the nature of the call that had brought her to this place…

Gatz Derrevar​

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Outfit | Lightsaber
Tag: Inanna Harth

“...was when I went undercover as a Sith.”

A single raised brow was the only reaction Gatz had to her revelation, sinking into tranquility as he was. He found it easy to meditate here, where the Force was rich in life—even if that life largely stemmed from the local arachnid population. It made thinking easy even if he was supposed to be clearing his mind and focusing. But the simple truth was: serene as he might seem, he couldn't just let go of what Inanna had just told him.

Not because she'd gone undercover as a Sith—that was hardly important to him. But because here she was, giving him this (typically) once in a lifetime experience where he took a large (if very belated) step by finally completing his gathering, and yet she was denying herself that very same thing.

In Gatz's eyes, there was only one thing to do.

"Master, I would like it if you'd join me for this." He craned his neck to look at her, eyes opening, "the way I see it, you have just as much right to this moment as I do. I know it's probably a little unorthodox for a Knight to participate in her Padawan's gathering... but when have we ever been an orthodox pair?"

And, as lame as it was to admit... Gatz would feel less alone if she sat down with him. He hated that: that he could be halfway through his twenties, and yet still feel like a child who'd lost his mother in the crowd. That fear of being alone—of having no one—dominated him, even now as it slept coiled up in his heart.

 

[Inanna Harth]

Coming from anyone else, such a request might’ve been presumptuous. But from Gatz, it was endearing. Inanna was still a little reluctant—it just seemed so late in the game to be trying to do things “right”, and besides, she was content with what she had.

You were content with Serena and Ashur, too. Right until that quack doctor offered to fix you up so that you could have more children.

There was much less at stake when it came to getting a new lightsaber crystal compared to having another child… Well, unless she couldn’t get used to the new crystal fast enough, got distracted in a fight and lost her head. But getting a crystal that was attuned to you was supposed to lower the risk of meeting such a grisly end. She stood only to gain from it.

"I know it's probably a little unorthodox for a Knight to participate in her Padawan's gathering... but when have we ever been an orthodox pair?"

“Never, I suppose.” She smiled to herself, then nodded. “Okay.”

Taking a step forward, she paused and shut her eyes. She didn’t expect much, but as soon as she concentrated she was made very aware of a presence. It called to her like a beacon from somewhere in the cavern. She turned toward it, opening her eyes… and saw a golden crystal formation growing out of an alcove. It seemed to glow brighter than the others.

“I think I found it,” she whispered, slowly approaching the gem. “How about you?”

Gatz Derrevar​

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Outfit | Lightsaber
Tag: Inanna Harth

Gatz said nothing, but smiled as Inanna joined him.

Classically, the Jedi Code preached that there was no emotion, only peace. Outdated, perhaps, by modern standards—where Jedi had spouses and children—but the prospect of attaining peace was always a worthy goal. It had also been a goal that was denied him, for as long as Gatz could remember. Even after returning to the Jedi, Gatz struggled to find that tranquility a good Jedi strived for, always busy with one disaster here, or another fight over there...

But here, now, such things didn't exist. There were no Imperial soldiers to cut down. No cultists to eradicate. No crisis to attend to. And no danger to run headfirst towards. There was only him, his master, and the Force.

Also the spiders just beyond the cavern, but whatever.

“I think I found it,” she whispered, slowly approaching the gem. “How about you?”

"Yes." His voice was more certain than it ever had been before.

Gatz stood, slowly, approaching a cluster of crystals where the cave wall met the ground. He kneeled down next to it, gently pulling what had called him to it from its grasp. It appeared ordinary, and white... until he held it above his head, letting it catch the radiance from the rest of the crystal cavern, upon which light passed through the kyber and cast his face in hues of green.

"I never thought I'd actually do this, you know," Gatz said softly, admiring his crystal, "a proper gathering, I mean. I always thought... well, I thought I had lost the right, I guess."

 

[Inanna Harth]

She didn’t take her crystal right away, instead watching as Gatz located and retrieved his. It was green. The color suited him.

"I never thought I'd actually do this, you know. A proper gathering, I mean. I always thought... well, I thought I had lost the right, I guess."

Inanna’s smile dropped slightly. Like everyone else, she wished Gatz wasn’t so hard on himself. But she also understood where he was coming from. She had been there, in that place where you’re worth nothing save inasmuch as others can find a use for you. It was a difficult place to crawl out of, and just as easy to fall back into.

“Neither did I,” she said. Her fingers closed around her crystal, and with a little tug she plucked it from the cave wall. The golden color remained the same—if anything, it only brightened. It felt warm in her hand.

“But now that we’re both here, I suppose we should go ahead and change out our focusing crystals.” She approached a reasonably flat rock, taking out her lightsaber and placing it on the makeshift worktable. Telekinetically disassembling the weapon, she revealed the Lorrdian crystal within… then hesitated. “I’m not sure I want to just throw the old one away. It's useful, and it's been with me all this time."

Gatz Derrevar​

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Outfit | Lightsaber
Tag: Inanna Harth

“I’m not sure I want to just throw the old one away. It's useful, and it's been with me all this time."

"Could always add it to your rock collection?" Gatz chimed in.

As his master moved over to a flat rock to use as a table, Gatz pulled his own lightsaber off of his belt. Traditionally, Jedi constructed and deconstructed their lightsabers with the Force. The act of retrieving and inserting a kyber crystal was, after all, ceremonial and ritualistic. It was proof of a youngling's or Padawan's growing connection to and mastery of the Force.

But Gatz was practical and nontraditional.

While he may not have been a proper artificer like Inanna's husband, Gatz was more than reasonably good with his hands. During the construction of his lightsaber, he'd included a handful of modifications that weren't standard—despite Cato's advice to keep things simple. The most useful of those modifications were the special emitter specially suited to deflecting blaster bolts, and the ability for his lightsaber to ignite underwater.

There was one more though: a small door on the back panel of the hilt, affixed to a hinge and locked with a nut and twisting screw. One twist with his thumb and index finger later, and he was flipping the miniscule panel to reveal the innards of his lightsaber: specifically, the borrowed artificial crystal within.

Another moment later, and he was closing the panel and twisting the screw to lock it, crystals swapped. And then... all that was left was to ignite the blade. Gatz held it out in front of him, breath held.

"...Is it weird that I'm nervous?" He asked quietly, "I mean, I know it's going to work, just like I did when I built this thing. But I'm still nervous to ignite it with a real kyber installed."

 

[Inanna Harth]

She snorted softly at his suggestion. It was a practical idea, but there was more at play here. The Lorrdian gemstone and its unique properties had been of great help to her. It enabled its wielder to better predict the path of projectiles and defend themselves ably. Inanna’s greatest weakness was in her limited awareness of her surroundings. On more than one occasion, the crystal had saved her life.

Since hers was a double-bladed weapon, perhaps she could make use of two focusing crystals. That was a project more elaborate than she could attempt at the moment; she would have to wait until she could ask for Cato Harth ‘s help, and have access to any extra parts needed. Pocketing her new crystal, she reassembled her hilt, plucking it from the air.

Gatz had completed his switcheroo.

"...Is it weird that I'm nervous? I mean, I know it's going to work, just like I did when I built this thing. But I'm still nervous to ignite it with a real kyber installed."

Inanna shrugged. “If it explodes, we’ll be too dead to notice.”

Gatz Derrevar​

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Outfit | Lightsaber
Tag: Inanna Harth

“If it explodes, we’ll be too dead to notice.”

"Very reassuring, Inanna." Gatz deadpanned.

She was right though, so really, what was there to worry about? Either the lightsaber would work, or they'd both return to the Force a little early. Perhaps not the brightest outlook, but it wasn't like he was leaving anybody behind right? At least no one would have to bury him! Now, he'd also be taking a mother with him...

Eh, Serena and Ashur would be fine! Tragedy built character—he ought to know.

With a deep breath, Gatz pressed the activation switch... and was rewarded with a green plasma blade springing to life. He let out a sigh of relief. He wasn't so much afraid of failure—okay he was, he failed far too often—as he just wanted something to go right for once. Gatz wanted to feel like a Jedi not a pretender.

All things considered, he'd chalk this one up to a success. Feeling lighter than he had in many weeks, Gatz extinguished his lightsaber, and clipped it back on his belt. Then he turned to Inanna.

"Thank you, Master," Gatz, not usually one for deference, bowed to her, "f-for everything."

 

[Inanna Harth]

Gatz activated his lightsaber. Nothing blew up. The blade glowed a healthy green, with no warping or sputtering to indicate it had been improperly reassembled. He’d done good.

"Thank you, Master, f-for everything."

Inanna smiled. “Thank you, Gatz. For letting me share this moment with you.”

Gatz Derrevar​