Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Private Hearts and Minds


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".. More?"

Kahlil blinked. Then grinned. Leave it to Valery to mention having more kids. They would, for certain. When the time was appropriate anyway. they were still in a war. "Soon, then."

Aris blinked. His fear first? It made sense, since they were following the call of his own. But what was his fear exactly? There wasn't really much he thought of. But while he might not have realized it, he did have a fear. All at once the cave was gone. Vera was gone. He blinked rapidly, opened his mouth to speak only to hear no sound. There was nothing here at all. Just empty black. The tube he'd woken up in, in the early moments of him gaining sentience.

Alone, unable to see or hear. Just helplessly floating. And there he felt it. Terror, for the first time. He didn't like this terror at all.

Valery Noble Valery Noble
 

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Ilum
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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Lightsabers
Tag: Kahlil Noble Kahlil Noble

Valery squinted, "Yes....more," she repeated but the moment he grinned, she began to smile. "I did mention it once before, but this is a better time to do that. Just... I'd rather not have them grow up in a time of war." The triplets were also still very little and needy, so it'd probably be easier to wait until the kids were just a little order.

Maybe.

Motherly neediness was already gnawing at her, and she couldn't hide that from him. "...did you know there's a whole line of birth control pills for men and women? Pretty sure Yula's family is behind it." She smiled sheepishly now.

Meanwhile, the two oldest of the Nobles walked through the crystal caves, and Vera was about to offer more directions when she felt something pullong at her brother's mind. Then, he froze - his own perception of the caves had shifted, but he was physically still with her.

Vera reached out, and she saw the pit of darkness he was in. "Aris?" She asked, but he couldn't hear her. She touched his hand, but he couldn't feel her either. He was entirely alone in there, but Vera wasn't about to give up. Jedi had to confront their fears, but nobody ever said they needed to do that alone.


<You're never alone, Aris. We are always with you,> Vera tried telepathically this time, hoping it'd give him the strength to pull himdelf out of his panic.


 

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He didn't panic, he didn't react. For Aris, he was just floating in that vat again, staring at nothing. Feeling, hearing, doing nothing. Did he exist? His earliest memories were just this. Neither alive or dead from what he could tell. Trapped and alone. He wasn't sure what to feel. He was just.. There. But as he thought about it more, remembered more, he felt the chill of terror grow. He was alive. He had family. He existed.

He didn't want to be here again.

<You're never alone, Aris. We are always with you,>

Aris blinked. Right. Vera was still here. He looked towards where he could feel her. Smiled a little, as best he could. That's right. He wasn't here alone this time. He cleared his throat before reaching out to touch the glass before him. It shattered immediately, letting him once again see the world around him. ".. Thanks, Vera."

Valery Noble Valery Noble
 

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Ilum
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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Lightsabers
Tag: Kahlil Noble Kahlil Noble

The moment the glass shattered, Aris was looking right at Vera, while she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him for a big hug. "I don't know what that place was, but you're never going back there." Vera spoke with that almost stubborn tone she sometimes had. As if she alone was very much going to prevent it from ever happening.

Her brother was never going to feel alone if she could help it, and she wanted him to know that.

He did know that.

"Are you okay?" She asked, but as she did, she noticed something. One part of the caves had opened up, and this path hadn't been there before. She looked at Aris again, then smiled before she took his hand to pull him along. But he would be able to tell that her grip was tighter, and ber breathing was heavier. Something was about to happen that made her nervous.


"Mommy? Where is daddy?"

The sudden voice made Vera freeze, and she let go of Aris' hand. Her eyes were fixed on a young version of herself, staring at her mother. Valery sat in the snow within the caves on her knees, injured and crying. But she wasn't just hurt.

She was broken.

The younger Vera ran up towards her Mom, but right as they were about to embrace, the little Vera disappeared, and Valery looked up at the real Vera, with tears in her eyes and so much pain. Vera's breathing grew heavy and erratic, her eyes filled with tears, and she took several steps back. She wanted to run away.

She wanted this memory to stop.



 




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As the last echoes of his peers fade, Braze took a deep, steadying breath and stepped forward into the darkened cavern. The cool air enveloped him, a stark contrast to the warmth of the sunlit world outside. With each step, the light from the entrance dimmed, and the bioluminescent glow from the walls and ceiling became his guiding light.

The deeper he ventured, the more intense the quiet became. The soft, otherworldly light played tricks on his eyes, casting long, dancing shadows that seemed to move of their own accord. The silence around him was deafening, a heavy blanket that pressed against his ears, making the occasional drip of water sound like a thunderclap as it echoed throughout the caverns.

Braze's footsteps were cautious and slow with deliberate placement. The uneven ground demanded his full attention. The path twisted and turned, leading him away from the entrance and deeper into the heart of the cavern.

His breath was visible in the cold air that enveloped him. The chill seeped through his clothing. Each inhale brought a sharp, cold sting to his lungs, contrasting sharply with the warmth he had left behind at the sunbathed entrance.

The deeper Braze ventured, the more the silence seemed to envelop him, swallowing his world. It was a startling contrast to the vibrant, Force-rich environment of the Caverns on Centerra he had experienced before. There, the Force had been a loud, overwhelming presence. Here, its silence was disquieting, leaving him feeling unmoored and adrift. This wasn’t like the previous visits here... A sense of dread rose from the pit of his stomach and settled into the back of his throat tightening.

This absence of the Force's usual whispers only amplified his self-doubt. Memories of past failures in the gathering trial flickered in his mind like unwelcome shadows. 'Why is the Force so silent here?' he wondered, the question echoing in his thoughts, unanswered.

The oppressive quietude of the caverns gnawed at him, stirring a sense of unease. He tried to focus, to reach out with his feelings, but the silence was like a barrier, impenetrable and unyielding.

Deeper and darker still he continued down, the winding paths of the cavern that lead him away from the group. He found himself alone, the isolation amplifying the eerie silence around him. This solitude forced him into a state of introspection, his thoughts turning inward.

He reflected on his past, on the times he had stood on the periphery, observing rather than participating. These memories brought a sense of detachment, a realization of how different his journey had been from those of his peers. He pondered over his past failures, not just in the trials but in forming the close bonds that seemed to come so easily to others.

Lost in his thoughts, Braze's attention to the treacherous path waned. His footsteps, once cautious and deliberate, became less focused. The path twisted and turned, leading him further into the cavern's heart, into an area markedly different from where he had started.

Suddenly, his foot caught on a loose patch of ice hidden beneath a thin layer of snow. His balance faltered, and with a sharp intake of breath, he found himself sliding uncontrollably down a slick, icy shaft. The descent was rapid, the walls of the cavern a blur as he plummeted into the depths.

He landed with a jarring thud in a part of the cavern that was starkly different from where he had been. The light here was dimmer, the bioluminescent glow barely reaching this depth. The air was colder, if possible, and the sound of running water could be heard nearby.

Braze lay there for a moment, catching his breath, his heart pounding in his chest. He slowly sat up, taking in his new surroundings. The cavern here was narrower, the walls closing in, creating an almost claustrophobic feel. A small stream trickled through, its waters dark and cold, reflecting the scant light and casting eerie reflections on the cavern walls.

This part of the cavern felt older, untouched, as if he had stumbled into a forgotten world. The darkness was more profound here, the shadows deeper, and the sense of isolation more intense. Braze realized that he had not only lost his way physically but had also been led astray by his own spiraling thoughts.
 
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"It was my home, before."

Before he was taken from the tube. Before he started to learn under that droid. Before dad had come to get him. He shivered just a little, but there was some comfort in what Vera said. He wasn't going back. He was alive now, awake. A person, not whatever was left in that tank. Not that he had long to think about his own trial. He blinked, looking to Vera. She was going through something. He could kind of see it, but it wasn't completely there.

"Vera. Vera!" He reached down to take her hand. Squeezed it.

"Face it. It's part of you. Don't run away."

Valery Noble Valery Noble
 

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Ilum
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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Lightsabers
Tag: Kahlil Noble Kahlil Noble

His home?

Vera wanted to ask him more about it, and she was going to, but the caves offered them no time to have a casual conversation. So, for now, she kept it in the back of her mind to ask him mkre about this fear later on. Similarly, she would likely explain her own to him as well after the gathering.

If it hadn't been so painfully obvious. She figured Aris had heard about the years Dad had been away, likely because it had a huge impact on the family. Vera still got nightmares about it, and she knew Mom did too, even if she tried to hide it a little. It had really changed everything and, weirdly enough, made the family even closer. Not a second together would ever be taken for granted again.

Being confronted with it now, though, was very hard on her.

"Vera..." Valery said, but the little star didn't move and looked at Aris with pain in her eyes. "I don't w-want to lose Mom or Dad again," she sniffed and really seemed like she was about to turn and run. But then he took her hand and squeezed it gently to pull her back. This wasn't real - Mom and Dad were still out there, and she could feel them. Slowly, Vera managed to put on a brave face, and she started walking towards her broken mother. Then, as she got close enough, Valery faded and the two stood alone in the caves.

A crystal shimmered nearby, calling out to Aris in any way it could. But Vera just stood there and looked down at the snow.


"I don't like these caves anymore."


 




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TAGS:
Loomi Loomi
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Braze's heart pounded in his chest as he cursed quietly under his breath. The stark, bitter cold of the icy cavern seeped into his very bones, but that was the least of his worries. He looked down at his arm, where a sharp, jagged piece of ice had sliced through his flesh during his fall. His arm throbbed with pain, and he watched in despair as his life's warmth oozed out, staining the pristine white ice beneath him a vivid red.

Panic gripped him as he realized the severity of his situation. He needed to stop the bleeding, and fast. With trembling hands, he frantically tore a piece of fabric from his hakama and used it to makeshiftly bandage his wound. The makeshift bandage did little to ease his pain, and a few quiet tears welled up in his eyes as he struggled to catch his breath.

As he leaned back against the frigid, unforgiving walls of the cavern, he couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the hopelessness of his situation. Questions swirled in his mind, each one more despairing than the last. Would anyone even know he was missing in this desolate place? Would anyone care? Could he find a way back up, or was he doomed to perish in this icy abyss?

Braze felt like a failure, his self-doubt and regret echoing through the caverns around him. The darkness and cold seemed to mock him, their grip tightening with each passing moment. He wondered how long it would take for the icy chill of death to claim him forever.

With a painful wince, he forced himself to sit up, determined to find a way out of this dire situation. He couldn't give in to despair, not now. He sniffled softly, his thoughts plagued by his own carelessness for failing to notice the treacherous hole that had led to his fall.
All this had happened right after he had delivered a heartfelt speech to the younglings, cautioning them to be careful in their actions. The irony of his situation wasn't lost on him, and he couldn't help but feel a deep sense of regret.

Braze glanced around the icy cavern, his eyes scanning the treacherous landscape filled with jagged spikes and slippery ice. Every step he took sent the ice squealing under his boots. He gingerly maneuvered across large sections of rocks, doing his best to avoid falling into the icy stream that flowed ominously nearby.

The weight of his failures pressed heavily on his shoulder, and he couldn't help but ask himself why he always seemed to mess things up. Doubt gnawed at him, and he questioned his own worth and abilities. He wondered if his Master would be disappointed in him, he wondered if if he truly was a failure in the eyes of the Jedi Order. And he briefly even wondered how Loomi Loomi was fairing here in the caverns.

In the shadowy depths of the cavern, Braze could feel the silence morph into an oppressive force. The quiet seemed to feed on his growing frustration and anxiety. The cavern walls appeared to come alive, pulsating with a sinister rhythm that mirrored his own racing pulse. They seemed to breathe, contracting, encroaching upon his space, threatening to engulf him.

Shadows around him twisted and contorted into grotesque shapes, playing on his deepest fears. They moved with a life of their own, forming faces and figures that whispered of failure and despair.

His heart raced, and his breaths came in short, sharp gasps. The anxiety clawed at him, a tangible force trying to drag him down into despair. He felt a surge of panic, an overwhelming urge to flee, to escape the judgmental eyes that seemed to follow him.

Panic took hold, and he broke into a desperate run, his footsteps echoing chaotically in the confining space. His breaths came in ragged gasps, each inhales drawing in the frigid air that bit into his lungs.

The narrow walls seemed to give way and the cavern opened up into an antechamber filled to the ceiling with giant limbed spiders. HE slid to a halt almost falling on the ice as he slid across teh slick surface. They emerged from the shadows, their long, spindly legs skittering across the ground and up the walls, encircling him in a living nightmare.

Braze's fear of spiders, was deep-seated and paralyzing, magnified the horror of the vision. As spiders advanced, their multitude of eyes glinted in the dim light.. The sight was overwhelming, a flood of primal fear that threatened to drown his senses.


 

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He couldn't see her, not the way Vera could, but he heard the voice. Mom. Hurt, afraid, sad. Something truly different from his own memories of her. He could see some of the shade through Vera's eyes, but this wasn't like his own vision. He walked with her, still holding her hand as they went through the illusion. Whatever the basis of it was, Aris had a guess. He knew there was a time where Dad was gone.

He couldn't imagine going through that like Vera did.

"They show us what we're most afraid of so those fears can't be turned against us." Once through the illusion, Aris reached down. Took up the gem that was now flashing bright blue before him. He didn't think he'd be able to see it, but even without Vera's assistance he could. He couldn't feel it like she likely would, but there was.. Something there. Something warm. He smiled a little, lifting it up.

Revealing the gem behind it that glowed only for Vera's eyes.

"It's painful, but I think these crystals are only trying to help us. We should find yours. Maybe it'll be easier to understand when we do?"

Valery Noble Valery Noble
 

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Tags: Braze Braze

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Braze had fallen.

Loomi hadn't been able to vocalize the fear that had overcome her. All of the sudden pain and stress that she had recieved. He was hurt and afraid. It was enough to draw the Godoan silently away from the group to the point where Braze had fallen through the ice. To her in that moment, there was no question of what she had to do. The girl mentally prepared herself for a moment, then slid down after the white-haired padawan.

Fortunately, her mechanical feet gave her protection against the spikes at the bottom. It wasn't long before she located Braze. Injured, afraid, and... seeing things. There were spiders everywhere, just like that one bad dream that wasn't hers, but the spiders weren't really there at all.

Were they in his head?

He was injured though, and Loomi was quick to rush over to his side to help in any way that she could.

"H-hold on," Loomi told him, placing a gentle hand on his wounded shoulder. "I'm here. H-how bad are you hurt?"

She tried her best to compose herself, even in spite of the fear she was recieving from Braze through their bond. Hopefully her presence was enough to calm him down. Loomi got to work, weaving the injury closed with a thread pulled from the force.


 




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TAGS:
Loomi Loomi
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In the midst of his nightmarish visions, Braze was jolted back to reality by the sudden appearance of Loomi. His reaction was visceral and immediate; he recoiled in shock, flailing his hands in a desperate attempt to ward off what he perceived as a threat. His face was a picture of sheer terror, eyes wide and unseeing, as he stumbled backward. He fell down and covered his face and head as he huddled back pressing into a cold, icey wall, wedging himself between the columns of ice.

"Stay away from me!" he shrieked, his voice laced with panic. In his mind, still ensnared by the haunting images of spiders, he mistook Loomi for one of the monstrous creatures from his hallucinations, ready to ensnare and devour him.

His breaths came in heavy, labored gasps, each one a struggle as he tried to disentangle himself from the grip of his terror. He blinked rapidly, his eyes darting around in confusion and fear, trying to reconcile the illusion with reality.

Slowly, the realization dawned on him that Loomi was not, in fact, a spider from his nightmares. Relief washed over him, yet his body continued to quiver uncontrollably. Braze panted heavily, his entire being was still trembling from the aftershock as wide green eyes looked over at Loomi and teh spiders closing in around them.

 

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Tags: Braze Braze

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"Stay away from me!"

Loomi's heart sank. Did... he mean that? The words were so sharp and cutting, filled with terror. It was as though she had brought it upon him, rendering him shaking on the ground.

No. Something shifted in Braze. Realization in his eyes, even if he was too afraid to speak more. He hadn't seen her at all. He had seen one of the monsters in his strange nightmare, something manafesting in a vision that he was having. A sad sigh escaped from the Godoan as she worked to close the wound he had gained, stitching it up tightly with a thread.

"It's okay," Loomi assured. "You're just worked up. I... know what you think you see, but they aren't there. It's just your nightmares. Sometimes they show up where we least expect them to."

The Godoan stood, stepping away from Braze towards where the spiders were in his mind. Her legs moved through where they were, her hands reaching out in an attempt to grab them. They simply weren't there. Loomi turned back, tears now in her eye. Braze hadn't ment to say those things, but that was her real fear. Being left behind, despised by the people she had grown so close to. That was what would make the things from her past life come back to get her.

"See?" she continued, a drop of water rolling down her cheek. "It's just you and me here."

She just hoped he'd still want to be her friend when all of this was over.


 




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Loomi's voice was soft and kind, a soothing presence in the midst of Braze's turmoil. He found himself yearning for the simple comfort her presence offered. Sniffling, he rubbed at his eyes, watching as she effortlessly moved through the terrifying visions that still lingered around him. A sense of shame and self-reproach washed over him as he realized how vulnerable he appeared before her, reduced to a sniveling heap in her presence.

Braze sniffled, his hands instinctively moving to rub at his eyes, still wet with the remnants of fear. He watched, almost in disbelief, as Loomi moved effortlessly through the dissipating visions that had so recently tormented him. A wave of shame washed over him, realizing how vulnerable and broken he must appear in front of her. He frowned, his mind slowly piecing together the reality of the situation, amplifying his embarrassment.

With a shaky effort, he pushed against the cold walls of the cavern, using them as support to pull himself back to his feet. "I'm... S... sorry," he stammered, his voice a fragile whisper of its usual self. "It's just... I don't know... I'm sorry you had to see any of this." The visions that had haunted him were now retreating back into the shadows, their hold on him weakening.

He pressed his hands against his face, feeling a hot flush of embarrassment wash over him. The sensation was warm and left a stark contrast to the cold, damp air of the cavern. "Th... thank you," he managed to say, his voice cracking, broken by the ordeal he had just endured. Each word was a tremulous effort to regain some semblance of composure, to rebuild the facade of strength that had been so thoroughly shattered.

"H... How d-did you get here?"

He asked slowly taking note of her and noticing that she looked up set. He reached out a hand towards her.

 

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"It's just... I don't know... I'm sorry you had to see any of this."

"Braze..."

Loomi walked over, taking the hand that he had extended whenever he stood up. It was comforting, at least, that he had not meant the things that he had said. It had just been in the moment. Loomi had most certainly felt the same way. She sighed, giving a warm smile as he thanked her and asked how she had even found him.

"I just... felt," She noted. "I... kinda just knew. It's hard to explain."

The Godoan tilted her head, wiping away the tears that had formed in her eye.

"Y-you didn't do anything wrong," Loomi told him. "You were just afraid. I... h-had an episode when I was on a mission once. F-fake blood got spilled everywhere, a-and I went into shock. A lot of people could have been hurt..."

The Godoan pulled at his hand, sitting down where he had been. Loomi tugged at Braze's arm, indicating for him to do the same.

"Let's just sit for a minute," the padawan told him. "Nobody else is here... That means we can let everything out and nobody will know. S-sometimes that's a good thing, or I think it is."

It didn't take long for her tears to return.


"T-trying to hold it in makes me all anxious."

 

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Ilum
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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Lightsabers
Tag: Kahlil Noble Kahlil Noble

Vera sniffled some more, and kept holding onto her brother's hand even after the illusion broke. The only thing that hurt more than that memory, was thinking about it happening again. To Mom, Dad, Aris or the triplets - family was too important to her, and that's why she wanted to be more like Dad so much.

He always protected his family, and she wasn't going to stop learning until she could do the same.

"How can you be so calm?" Vera then asked, her eyes focused on her brother, rather than the crystal he had earned. She should be happy and smiling for him, but the entire experience here was really putting her down, while he seemed to get through it so... effortlessly. Maybe she was more like Mom in that way, after all?

"I don't want these fears to stop me, but it really hurt to see that again. I thought the nightmares had finally stopped." She let go of his hand now, but she looked at him like she just wanted to pull him into a hug and sob.

"You did good with the crystal, though. You've earned it, and Mom and Dad will be very proud." She smiled just a little and looked back towards the entrance of the caves. "I don't think there is time left to go get mine. But that's okay. I'm happy that you have yours." Her smile was a little brighter again.

Yeah, helping him made her happy. That was more important to her than getting her own crystal.



 

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".. I still don't really understand a lot of emotions."

How should he feel? Was he supposed to be as upset as her? Was he still disconnected from his emotions like he'd been when he was first brought home? No, he wasn't like he had been, but there were still so many things he was trying to process. Even the terror earlier felt more like an out of body experience than what he himself felt. "Logically speaking, though, even if the nightmares have stopped if the memory is still that frightening, a Sith could use it against you. You're like me or Dad." She wasn't pure Epicanthix. Her mind was strong, but there were still threats.

He blinked though, then smiled as he pulled her into a hug. It wasn't all logic, he knew that much now. "But you still faced it. And moved forward. .. Doesn't that technically mean you've got a crystal waiting for you right now? I'm no expert on this, but you weren't supposed to see anything until you made it to your own crystal..?"

Valery Noble Valery Noble
 




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TAGS:
Loomi Loomi
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Slowly but surely, Braze began to relax as he listened to Loomi's words. The emotional creshendo of the moment started to subside, and he felt a gentle tug on his hand as she led him down to the cold, icy floor. They settled there together, the frigid environment surrounding them.

Braze began to regain his composure as he sat beside Loomi, and he extended his arms to pull her into a comforting hug. She, too, began to cry, and he held her close, offering a warm embrace amidst the harsh surroundings. His voice was shaky as he asked, "We're okay now... right?"


 

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Ilum
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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Lightsabers
Tag: Kahlil Noble Kahlil Noble

Vera pouted when he reminded her that she wasn't like him or Dad, but she knew Aris, and understood it was his purely logical side speaking. He was....also right, and no matter how much she wished she could just be immune to Sith trying to use those awful memories against her, she wasn't. It was a very realistic threat that she would have to take seriously, and that she would have to prepare herself for.

These caves were just one step in that process. This time, she had gottem through it with her brother's help, but next time, she knew it was her own challenge to overcome.

"You're better with emotions than you think," Vera said with a happy smile, while she buried her face into his shoulder in their embrace. "Thank you, Aris. I think I ended up needing your help more than you needed mine." She chuckled and pulled back from the hug to listen to him with a clear mind. Which is when she realized that he was right again. Vera blinked, and her eyes shifted to a glowing little crystal.

"Woah, it's so pretty!" She exclaimed, and crouched down to pick it up. "I read that the crystals only get a color after we bond with them. We should head back and put them in a lightsaber!"



 

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"I-"

Didn't do anything. Needed her help more. There were a couple arguments that went through Aris's mind, but rather than voice them he smiled and nodded. He understood where she was coming from this time. He returned the hug, squeezing gently before smiling even wider. "Thank you, too, you know."

Then his attention was back to the crystal he had. He smiled brighter still, looking it over. So they wouldn't have a color until they bonded with it? He tightened his grasp around it, letting the warmth it had flow through him. For how cold Ilum was, he didn't seem to mind. "Yeah. Let's head back."

Valery Noble Valery Noble
 

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Ilum
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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Lightsabers
Tag: Kahlil Noble Kahlil Noble

Vera smiled back at him and nodded, "I will always help you. You're my little brother," Vera said with a stupid grin. She didn't care that he was going to get taller than her - he came later, so he was her little brother forever. Then she looked at the crystals they gathered and let out a happy little sigh.

Both had already trained plenty as Jedi, but now they had overcome a real Jedi challenge for the first time without help from older Jedi. Without their parents. Vera blinked at that realization.

Their parents weren't here.


"Hey Aris? Can we go to Mom and Dad? I think they were a little sad we didn't fly with them. So let's show them our crystals first, and then we show them in lightsabers!" Yeah, she was sure that it'd make her parents happy and proud.

Valery was sitting on top of her desk with Kahlil's hands in her own when she felt something. Her eyes shifted to the door, and her lips tugged up into a warm smile, "Love, you sense them too, right? They're...on their way here." Valery hopped up to her feet and stood tall.

But really, she just wanted to pull her kids into a tight hug and be all proud of them.



 

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