Krest's Templar Crossbow (Help needed)

[Darth Ferus]

CZ-834 Templar Crossbow
OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

• Intent: To mark which items Krest's has saved from his time as a Templar.
• Development Thread: N/A

PRODUCTION INFORMATION

• Manufacturer: Czerka Arms
• Model: CZ-834 Templar Crossbow
• Affiliation: Krest
• Modularity: Yes (Attachments)
• Production: Unique
• Material: Durasteel

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS

• Classification: Bowcaster
• Size: Hand-Held
• Status: Military
• Length: 55.8 centimeters
• Weight: 3.2 kilograms
• Magazine Size: 10 Quarrels
• Fire Rate: 120 RPM
• Effective Range: 50 meters
• Ammunition Type(s): BASIC, BANG, FLARE, SHOCK, and VENOM Quarrels

OPTIONAL ATTACHMENTS

• 3.4x Optical Zoom Scope (RDS)
• 1x Optical Zoom Scope (RDS)
• 1x Optical Zoom Scope (IRNV)

PRICING

• Individual Unit: 1,200 credits
• Bulk Packaging: 1 Crate (50 Units)
• Bulk Pricing: 52,000 credits

DESCRIPTION

The CZ-834 Templar Crossbow, otherwise known as the Templar Bowcaster, is a weapon specifically designed for usage by the Confederacy of Independent Systems' Templar Order. Inspired by the famous bowcasters wielded by the Wookie species, the Templar Crssbow is capable of launching plasma-enveloped quarrels that boast an impressive sum of stopping power. Altogether, the function of the Templar Crossbow varies very little from that of the traditional bowcaster, but there are a few essential and distinct differences. First and foremost, the Templar Crossbow is, as a whole, smaller and lighterthan that of the weapon which inspired its creation. Therefore, the incorporation of a high-powered firing mechanism was absolutely necessary in order to propel rounds with comparable speed and strength to that of the traditional bowcaster.

Furthermore, the Templar Crossbow features an automatic cocking spring as well as an innovative reloading spring, which work in close tandem with one another. Upon firing a quarrel, the reloading spring will slide the neck round into place and the cocking spring with automatically pull and lock it into place. Through fully automating the reload process, a Templar is able to enjoy a firing rate of two quarrels per second; and an incredibly smooth and steady shot. Lastly, the Templar Crossbow features a select-fire mechanism centered about the plasma generation abilities of the weapon. With but the flip of a switch, the plasma-enveloping process can be toggled on or off, thereby allowing the shooter to incorporate additional ammunition types, such as the BANG slug that would normally detonate upon contact with the plasma.

Krest had, like with most of his items from his time as a Templar, stored the crossbow as it's basic form for the soul purpose that if one day he needed it again, he could get it. As to why he had stored it instead of using it, the Templar order had dissolved, and it was possible that he would be targeted for having the weapon, along with the rest of the Templar items. Now, however, he feels it would be right to bring them back.


Primary Source

http://starwarsrp.net/topic/22453-cz-834-templar-crossbow/










So, this is it! Honestly, I'm not sure how to submit it, so I'm posting it here in a hope that people will be able to help me make this work. The original link is below, and most of this was the original link itself, as I'm not really sure what to change or if I should.

So, help?

 

[Fabula Caromed]

As it is, this submission would be denied for plagiarism. You need to alter a more significant portion of the original article in order to merit a resubmission. As it is you only added a small paragraph to the end, which means most of the work done on the submission was Tyri's, not your own.

I'd suggest going into more detail about Krest's individual model. The history behind it, how he went about customizing it, or whatever else. Make it your own, rather than just copypasta from someone else's work.

PRICING Individual Unit: 1,200 credits Bulk Packaging: 1 Crate (50 Units) Bulk Pricing: 52,000 credits

This part also needs to go, as you're not talking about market price and rather describing a customized model.

 

[Malok]

[member="Krest"]

Unless my sporadic blindness is kicking in, I'm not seeing any differences between this crossbow and the original sub.

Which begs the question: Why not just list it in your character's possessions as opposed to having a new tech sub? You could make a note somewhere alluding to how/why Krest retained his old Templar regalia; which would both accomplish your goal of breaking out the crossbow at present and save the factory deities a little bit of work.

Just my two cents brochaco. <3

 

[Darth Ferus]

[member="Fabula Cavataio"]

That pricing part and optional attachments were removed at one point. Odd. But I shall work on it when I can. Thanks though!

 

[Darth Ferus]

[member="Darth Metus"]

Part of the reason I'm doing this is because a lot of the Templar stuff was scrapped. I was told by one of the faction admins to link and give a reason as to why akrest would still have it.

 

[Allyson Locke]

[member="Krest"] You could always remake the submission and move away from the original sub to prevent plagiarism. Or just talk with the Faction admin/ owner of the original submission. I see no reason beyond the fact that they're just being stubborn from letting you use things that aren't being used.