Private Of Fathers and Abuse

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Corazona von Ascania

Cora was smiling. Genuinely smiling, and not some plastered on façade. R4 was a terrible repair droid, and irritating to a fault, but maybe he was good for something after all.

"The sleep which I lost from watching a movie, and only that activity."

"Whatever you say, Princess," Gatz rolled his eyes, as he stepped past the sliding door to the cockpit, "I'll get rid of your hickies when you wake up."

Then the door closed behind him, and Cora was left alone with a failing astromech still humming happily at her side. At least, R4 was humming happily until he realized something.

<Hey! He never gave me my hug!>

He let out a string of curses in binary, all of which painted Gatz in a very unflattering picture. But then, abruptly, he went silent. The old processor in his dome worked overtime, as he thought of ways to exact his revenge on the smuggler who chained him to this deathtrap of a ship, and reneged on the deals he made. Retribution was at hand. The foul smuggler would fall, caught red-handed.

R4's dome spun to eye Cora as she entered one of the small rooms aboard. He wheeled himself backwards, just close enough to poke her in the thigh with one of his manipulator arms.

<There's something you need to see.> He said, very cryptically, <Gatz isn't who you think he is.>

He gave Cora no time to process that, rolling himself into Gatz's room, opposite of the one she'd been given. He rolled himself over thick red carpet, past a mirror that had been shattered—but whatever glass pieces that had littered the ground had been vacuumed up long ago—and to the side of a queen-sized bed covered in thick blankets and way too many pillows.

His little manipulator arm rifled through something under the bed, until he pulled out an opaque plastic container. Another few seconds, and R4 pulled out a second, smaller container. Then, thinking better of whatever he was doing, he pushed the second container back under the frame.

<Look in that one,> R4 directed, rolling back out of the room, <you'll learn things about Gatz Derrevar that no one—not even Valery—knows. But you'll never look at him the same again.>

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

"Hmph." Was her only response to Gatz's remark about the bruises on her neck.

As R4 warbled in indignant binary at the lack of hug, Cora drifted towards the empty cabin. The lost sleep was starting to catch up with her, and she was looking forward to a nap.

The room was spartan by her tastes, but it was clean and neat and that was all that mattered. Before she could make it to the bed, something prodded her leg.

<There's something you need to see.> He said, very cryptically, <Gatz isn't who you think he is.>

Tired eyes flared. What did R4 mean by that? Cora knew pieces of Gatz's troubled past, but was there something else added into the mix? Something damning? She almost didn't want to know.

The Knight found herself following along, glancing in either direction as she crossed the threshold into Gatz's quarters. Clean too, even if his taste was reminiscent of a holofilm philanderer. Who needed that many pillows?

There was one piece to the scene that her gaze lingered on for more than a moment. The frame of the shattered mirror.

"I really shouldn't. This is an invasion of his privacy-"

The plastic container was unassuming and foreboding all at once, and she stiffly moved towards it. Kneeling down, her hands hovered over the lid. I really shouldn't do this, she thought. It's too invasive, and people are allowed to have their secrets. But what if it's something like…

Like his spice stash, or other illegal materials? Something that could get him thrown out of the Order? She didn’t want that, but maybe if she knew, something could be done about it before things came to a head.

Deft fingers quietly removed the lid. Was she ready for something that could alter the way she looked at Gatz forever?

Wide-eyed, Cora lifted the copy of Taming the Devaronian Devil from the pile. Beneath it, other titles were scattered - her entire collection, along with a few other authors who wrote in a similar genre.

Despite already knowing that Gatz was a Lady Velvet fan and despite being Lady Velvet herself, Cora went beet red.

"O-oh," was all she could say.

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Corazona von Ascania

<Do you understand now?> R4 chimed in from the doorway, <he isn't some suave lady killer, no matter what he wants you to think.>

The lights on his chassis blinked ominously. His revenge was almost complete, but the pretty Jedi finding Gatz's secret smut stash wasn't enough on its own. Oh, no, Gatz had to know that Cora knew. It had to be an unequivocal truth between the two of them: that the dashing smuggler read trashy romance novels, and the Princess of Ukatis knew, and would always know.

<He's a romantic.> And then the droid paused, wondering if he should take things up a notch, <and he purchased those novels to learn how to seduce pretty young noble women. He's probably trying to seduce you!>

Then R4 left once more, leaving Cora with a revelation with an impact comparable to a turbo laser bombarding a city—which, oddly enough, was an impact she was all too familiar with. With his work done, Cora in Gatz's room holding his prized possessions, and Gatz almost certainly caught in a noose, R4-Z3 whistled his way down to the cargo bay to finally fix those lights.

Moments, and one jump to lightspeed later, Gatz stepped out of the cockpit. He took two steps, before noticing that his door was ajar. Probably R4 snooping around for another power converter, thinking that he was hoarding them away from the droid for some reason. Damn droid had a faulty logic circuit.

"Tin Can," Gatz tried to keep his voice down, assuming Cora was laying down for some shut-eye, "how many times do I have to tell you to stop snooping through my stuff! There's nothing in—"

Gatz stopped, eyes wide, as he spotted Cora kneeling at the side of his bed, his First Edition of Taming the Devaronian Devil in her hands.

And for once, he had nothing to say. No crude jokes, no good-natured ribbing. Just a slow blush creeping up his face, as he realized that Cora had just learned something about him that he'd never shared with anyone before.

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

Cora swallowed thickly, retaining enough sense to understand that R4 was trying to get Gatz Derrevar into trouble.

"Come now, there's nothing wrong with being a romantic."

She knew that Gatz was a fan of Lady Velvet, but he hadn't known that she'd known, and Cora had intended to keep it that way.

"What? No, he wouldn't do that. He knows that I'm with Makko Vyres . Besides, these would make poor manuals for seduction, they're more intended to be fantasy than instructional."

She paused, blanching.

"Or so I've heard."

Cora glanced back down to the pile of novels. It was…quite an extensive collection, she had to admit. Ashla, he'd even gotten his hands on a limited-run copy of The Kaminoian Who Cloned My Heart.

Before she could shove the box back under the bed and scurry away, the sound of Gatz's approaching voice made her freeze. R4 had wheeled away by now, no doubt rubbing his little mecahnical arms together in glee.

In the end, Gatz and Cora were left staring at each other - wide eyed and speechless. For the first time, she saw Gatz Derrevar blush. Cora hadn't thought that possible.

Silence reigned a few long moments. Then, Cora placed the novel carefully back into the container, capped it, and slipped it back beneath the bed. She stood, smoothed out her pants and walked right past Gatz. The urge to admonish him was quickly quelled by the fact that it would be tempting fate.

"I saw nothing. You saw nothing. We will not speak of this again."

Cora retreated into her assigned cabin and closed the door.

Force help me.

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Corazona von Ascania

This... this couldn't be happening. This wasn't happening. Gatz refused to believe it. No one knew about his love for Lady Velvet—that was, love of her literature. He'd never seen the woman's face before, his one attempt at a pass failing, and ending with him being encouraged to move along by her bodyguards. Which promptly had cut his attempts to woo the veiled woman short.

A damn shame. He'd have given Lady Velvet plenty of inspiration for her next book.

But here he was, face to face with the most straight-laced woman he knew. Who had just discovered his stash of romance novels. And who was holding one of the smuttier ones. Gatz had no words, how could he? He'd been caught with his pants down before, but not like this: with an embarrassing secret of his now out in the open.

"I saw nothing. You saw nothing. We will not speak of this again."

Cora gave him an out, merciful princess as she was. A way to pretend that none of this had happened, that neither of them held this secret, and with no worries that his street cred was about to be torn to shreds. He was safe. He could still be Gatz Derrevar, Jedi and Casanova. His identity was intact, and all he had to do was keep his mouth shut as Cora returned to her borrowed room.

"I-I-I only bought those to convince the author to sleep with me! It worked!"

Naturally, he only made things worse.

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

Gatz's parting shot was an attempt to justify his collection of smutty novels. By insinuating that he'd purchase them to sleep with the author. The author being her.

And by now, she was sure that Gatz didn't know that she was the face behind the terrible pen name. Her expression firmed, grim as stone in thought.

Cora stopped dead, just a few paces from his door. Even her foot hovered in place just above the metallic floor. She almost couldn't believe what he'd said, but then again, this was Gatz.

"Did you?"

Unwaveringly calm, Cora slowly turned to face Gatz. She didn't look angry, or even surprised, but strangely serene. It was markedly out of character for the strait-laced noblewoman who often visibly balked at any ounce of perversion.

"And how was she?"

Gatz Derrevar

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Corazona von Ascania

Cora froze before him, as if she'd been turned to stone instantly. Even her foot hovered above the ground, not quite touching the deck of the ship. That... confused Gatz. He had expected a reaction from her, to be sure, but it sure as shit hadn't been this one. She should have been red-faced and scolding him for such coarse language. Or shaming him for seducing an innocent smut author.

Then came the question. And Gatz was pretty sure he'd just stepped into an alternate reality. Because why would Cora ever ask such a thing? The prim, proper woman that she was, why would she ever ask how Lady Velvet was in bed? Gatz was missing something here, he was sure, but Cora wasn't offering up the knowledge that might fill in the gaps.

This is a trap. Gatz realized, I don't know how, I don't know why it was set, but this is definitely a trap.

Only a moron would spring it. The smart thing to do now would be to simply... retreat into his room, as Cora had tried to do only moments ago. Drop the issue altogether, and in the morning they could reconvene and carry on like this conversation had never happened. She'd tried to give him that exact opportunity, and he'd ruined it by sputtering a bullshit lie.

But, hey, he'd already dug the hole, so...

"Eh, I had to teach her a few things," Gatz shrugged, "she was about as bad at it as her smut writing might suggest."

Because he couldn't admit that he actually loved those novels, which he did. He couldn't admit that the reason he had all her First Editions was for display, and that he had mass market copies of each that had been read so many times that their spines had lines down them. Gatz just couldn't, not when his street cred was on the line.

"But I gave her a few new ideas for her next book, so stay tuned! Your favorite smuggler-turned-Jedi is an inspiration, as it turns out."

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

Cora supposed that it was an odd question to have asked. But, Gatz Derrevar dug himself further into that hole and she wasn't even sure if that was what she wanted.

Catching someone in such a bold lie was a very, very advantageous position to be in. However, that advantage was undercut by her own secret.

The temptation was there to reveal to Gatz that she, in fact, was Lady Velvet, author of such poorly written romance novels. How embarrassed would he be, how much sputtering backpedaling would he do to try and cover his lies?

The knowledge that she'd never live it down held her back. So she grimaced, appropriately disgusted with Gatz's would-be actions. Or perhaps, his lies. Probably both.

"So you did read them?"

A little part of her was indignant at his unintended insult.

"I see. I don't know what I expected, but I don't read such filth. I'm afraid that your inspiration will go unappreciated, in this case."

Turning on her heel once more, Cora retreated to her cabin before this could get worse.

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Corazona von Ascania

This was still a trap, and he still didn't understand, and Gatz was beginning to understand that he never would. For whatever reason, Cora was awfully interested in his particular brand of smut, and even more interested in his ridiculous fib about the author who'd written them. And now he was stuck in his weird crossroads: to either continue his falsehood, or just come clean and admit the truth.

He didn't know which option was worse. Lie to a friend, even about something so small? Or be willing to be vulnerable to her—

Dude, Gatz chastised himself, you confessed murder to her. You can tell her the truth about this.

"I did read them, yes," Gatz started, "and honestly, I..."

But Cora was gone, behind the privacy of the door to her cabin. And Gatz was left feeling not relief, or satisfaction that his secret was kept, but ashamed that he'd thought to lie to Cora at all. Even about something as small and silly as this. Because, really, she didn't have to be here. She'd volunteered to accompany him—at four in the morning local time—just to ensure that he, her friend, had someone around he could rely on.

And on Nar Shaddaa, that was in short supply.

"Hey, Arfour," Gatz dug his commlink out of his pocket, unsure of where the droid had rolled off to, "mind the cockpit. I... I'm going to make our guest breakfast. Also, fuck you."

He was, after all, the entire reason this chain of events had unfolded. Gatz had half a mind to sell him to the nearest scrap yard... but then who would fix the lights in the cargo bay?

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

Part of Cora was intensely curious to know what Gatz Derrevar truly thought about the Lady Velvet novels - and she seemed to be on the cusp of telling her, but she wasn't about to turn around twice.

The cabin was spartan, but tidy. After years of running with the Jedi and camping in some less than hygienic situations, the cleanliness of her room was appreciated. Settling onto the bed, Cora pulled a blanket over herself and let sleep take her.

She awoke a few hours later, somehow feeling even more sluggish than before. It took her a few bleary minutes of staring at her surroundings to recall everything that had happened this morning.

Oh. Right, I agreed to help Gatz do…something on Nar Shaddaa.

That realization made something in her stomach drop. She hadn't been to Shaddaa before, but the smuggler's moon had a reputation for a reason. And, based on what he'd told her, it sounded like something had gone wrong.

Cora pulled a small, compact mirror from her pocket and grimaced at her complexion. Her skin was less even than usual thanks to shoddy sleep, and her hair wasn't as smooth as she'd liked. After fixing herself up the best she could, she existed the cabin and followed the smell of brewing caf.

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Corazona von Ascania

Gatz had always found peace in performing simple tasks: cooking, flying, fixing something—it didn't matter. It occupied his mind in a way that stopped it from drifting to all the trauma and pain in his life. Cooking was something he'd shared with his mother, and cooking for a friend allowed him to recall some of those fond memories. It was a small tranquility, and it wouldn't last long, but Gatz was going to cling to it anyways.

He had just finished frying the hashbrowns when he heard her door slide open. His eyes cast a cursory glance in her direction and—

"It is downright unfair that you can roll out of bed and look that good." There was just a tinge of annoyance to his tone, "some of us actually have to try, you know."

What was it with rich girls and always managing to look good, even as they were rolling out of bed? Why had the common folk like him been denied that ability? They already got to be rich, and have huge houses, and never have to starve, and be waited on hand a foot by dudes like him, and—

Let it go, Gatz. You've got a princess to feed.

"Sit down, Princess. I prepared breakfast."

He whistled an almost happy tune, as he brought Cora's plate to the table. He hadn't made anything fancy, just waffles, eggs scrambled with diced ham, and country potatoes. It wasn't the fare that she'd have been served back home in her manor, or in that prison of a palace her ex-husband had detained her in. But Gatz still took pride in it.

"I've also got caf brewing, and I have both juice and blue milk in the fridge."

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

"I look like a mynock's nest." She grumbled. And to Cora, she really did. Even a few stray hairs out of place would be considered disheveled by her standards. Some people could pull off the messy look, but Cora preferred tidy.

The smell of hashbrowns mixing with caf kept her from being too grouchy, so she sat down and allowed him to serve her breakfast.

"You didn't have to go through all the trouble, Gatz." She murmured when she saw that he'd prepared a decent spread - a good mix of carbs and protein for the task ahead. Really, she'd expected one of those microwaveable breakfast burritos she'd been too scared to try.

A forkful of eggs and potatoes had her humming in approval. Cora hadn't realized how hungry she'd been until she woke up.

"This is good," she placed a hand over her mouth before swallowing, sounding surprised. "Where did you learn to cook?"

Gatz Derrevar

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Outfit | Lightsaber
Tag: Corazona von Ascania

A mynock's nest?

"You have like, three hairs out of place," Gatz chortled, "you're fine. Besides... no one on Nar Shaddaa looks as perfect as you usually do, so being a little disheveled might actually be a good thing."

At the very least, no one would accuse her of being nobility if her face wasn't one-hundred percent put together. It would make pushing through the crowd easy, if no one had any reason to stop them or stare at them. They might even make it to the bar Roche wanted to meet at without getting robbed!

"You didn't have to go through all the trouble, Gatz."

He paused for a moment.

"Well, I'm not going to let a guest starve," Gatz argued, "but... it's also an apology. I, uh, lied to you this morning."

Gatz sat down with his own plate, across from Cora. This part wasn't easy: admitting to a friend he'd been lying. He'd always found it easy to talk about his shortcomings, and take fault for the things he'd done in the past... but admitting that he was still doing things wrong, even a year and a half removed from his criminal lifestyle, was hard.

"I didn't sleep with Lady Velvet," he admitted quietly, "I mean, I flirted with her, but then her bodyguards moved me along. But I was... embarrassed that you found my stash of smut novels. A man like me isn't expected to enjoy things like that, and I... I don't know, I guess my male ego wouldn't let me admit that I like reading romance like that. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lied about it, especially to you."

She knew worse things about him. Why couldn't she know this? But then his mind was directed elsewhere, by Cora's own question.

"Oh, cooking? My mom taught me. We... didn't have much growing up, so we took enjoyment in the little things that we did have. Cooking together was one of them."

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

Three hairs too many, Cora thought. She wouldn't argue that point further, especially when Gatz Derrevar pointed out that it might actually be to her benefit on a place like Nar Shaddaa.

Her eyes narrowed while chewing her way through a mouthful of potatoes which looked…odd. Silly almost. Gatz brought up their earlier confrontation over the Lady Velvet novels, and Cora felt her throat tighten.

Not this again-

She placed a hand over her mouth and swallowed down the potatoes before she could choke.

"Gatz, it's-it's alright." Cora insisted quietly, partially unnerved that they'd come back to this topic, but appreciative of his honesty. "You're allowed to enjoy things, even if they're…rather unorthodox."

She hesitated, wondering just how much to say. His honesty inspired the brief urge to be honest back, but reading cheesy romance novels and authoring them were two different things entirely.

The scent of caf was heavy in the air, and Cora moved to pour herself a cup.

"Your mother passed along some fine recipes. She must've been a good teacher."

Gatz never spoke much about his family - just bits and pieces. Cora stirred some milk into her caf, glancing at him from the corner of her vision.

"What is your favorite recipe of hers?"

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Outfit | Lightsaber
Tag: Corazona von Ascania

Aw man, she was glaring at him. Which, if Gatz was being entirely honest, he didn't mind. But it was typically the telltale sign that Cora was displeased, and he didn't think he could take that right now—he had, after all, missed out on sleep this morning, and he wasn't emotionally prepared to deal with the fallout of upsetting his friend.

Imagine his relief when Cora accepted his apology.

Gatz let out a sigh, and sagged into his seat, anxiety quelled. He has so few people in his life, and the last thing he wanted to do was chase away the handful of individuals he did care about. And he would have been especially heartbroken if that had come about as the result of him fibbing out of embarrassment. But, well, it wouldn't have been the first time he'd have fucked up one of his relationships.

He was really good at that.

"What is your favorite recipe of hers?"

"You... you want to hear about my Mom?"

A quizzical expression found purchase on his visage. People didn't ask him questions like this. Topics like his parents and their deaths were... avoided, or outright shutdown. Truth was, Gatz had accepted the fact that his grief would be silent, and his mourning kept to himself.

But he couldn't stop himself from answering Cora's question, even as it confused him.

"She made a really good macaroni salad. I know that's not, like, a full course meal, or even the main course. But that was the pinnacle of her culinary skills, I think. She made it for every holiday, and every occasion she could, really."

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

Gatz Derrevar seemed surprised that she'd asked after his mother. Cora wondered if she should've said anything, confusing his shock for disdain - speaking of the departed could be a sensitive subject.

He wasn't upset, though, and Cora exhaled a silent sigh of relief before making it back to the table with her caf.

"You two got along well then?" She took a sip from her cup, wondering what it must've been like to grow up in a poor but decent family. "It sounds like she kept you well-fed."

It was an aspect she hadn't ever considered, growing up in a wealthy family. Prepared food was always on hand. The manor was always clean. All of this happened in the background, unseen by the Ascania children.

"…what is a macaroni salad?"

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Outfit | Lightsaber
Tag: Corazona von Ascania

"It sounds like she kept you well-fed."

His brow furrowed, as he considered what Cora said.

"She did her best... but things got a lot harder after she got sick." He said quietly, poking at his breakfast with his fork, "she couldn't work anymore. Dad was the only source of income—and spoiler: hauling freight doesn't earn much after you factor in fuel and maintenance costs. We started piling up medical debt. And there were a lot of nights where we went hungry."

It was funny how the memory of starving could kill his appetite. That seemed counterintuitive. Gatz almost wanted to just wrap his breakfast up and put it away, but somehow, he figured Cora wouldn't let him. That... and if Valery found out that he was starving himself again there would be hell to pay.

So, in a rare moment of wisdom, Gatz scooped up a forkful of eggs and shoved it in his mouth.

But then Cora asked what a macaroni salad even was, and Gatz smiled. Maybe the thought of his mother's food was small and stupid, but it was enough to chase away the bad memories and replace them with the fond ones.

"It's a cold pasta salad. Mayonnaise and mustard for a creamy sauce with a light tang. Macaroni, of course. And then diced cheddar cheese, chopped up celery, pieces of hard boiled eggs, and relish or diced sweet pickle." Gatz sighed, "haven't had it in a long, long time."

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

Unconsciously, Cora's fork moved more slowly as Gatz Derrevar recalled how difficult it had been at times for his family to feed themselves. Going hungry was never something she'd truly experience in her lifetime. And for that to happen to Gatz as a child...she couldn't fathom it.

Her eyes lingered on Gatz's plate for a moment, hoping that she hadn't dredged up a memory that had soured the mood to the point of revulsion – but then his fork moved, and so did hers. He went on to describe his mother's macaroni salad, the eclectic recipe making her frown in thought. She wasn't sure if something like cold macaroni would be good, but Gatz seemed to like it enough. Perhaps it was the memory attached to the dish that had made it so special to him. Or, the love behind it. Probably all of the above.

"You haven't had it in a long time, but it seems like you remember exactly what went into it." Cora pointed her fork towards him before going for a scoop of potatoes.

"What's stopping you for making it yourself?"

Both brows lifted.

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Outfit | Lightsaber
Tag: Corazona von Ascania

"What's stopping you for making it yourself?"

Gatz hated it when people called him out using facts and logic. It was something that Cora was especially good at, given she was predisposed to using both in her everyday life. It was why he'd come to her when he'd found himself struggling with his academics. Now, though, it was being turned upon him. There was, quite simply, no good excuse as to why he refused to make her macaroni salad himself.

Only an emotional one.

"It wouldn't be the same," Gatz admitted quietly, "it was special because it was something she shared with us; something she made for special occasions. But I... I don't have anyone to share it with. And I don't have any special occasions to celebrate, really."

He shoved another forkful of eggs in his mouth, even as they began to taste like ash. It was hard to be reminded that everyone who had ever loved him was dead and buried. And that wasn't Cora's fault. It was a failure on his own part, that he couldn't talk about or think of them without lamenting the fact that they were gone.

But a part of him was dead all the same.

"I... I have nothing. No one." He let out a shaky breath, "I'd just be making it for myself, and that seems... wrong. Like I'd be betraying the spirit of the dish."

Melodramatic, perhaps, but Gatz was firm in rejecting the idea of making it for himself.

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

"I... I have nothing. No one."

Unconsciously, Cora had put down her fork and fixed Gatz with an intense stare. He'd always been hard on himself but this…there was something more visceral about this. About the way he spoke, the pain he truly believed in etched into every word.

She waffled between empathy and anger. Empathy because he'd been dealt such an awful situation in life, one that had left him with no good options to choose from. And even though he tried his best, he'd still come out on what felt like the losing side.

How couldn't it? His parents were dead, and Gatz seemed almost eager to soak up all of the blame like a guilt-ridden sponge.

"Gatz…"

Cora said his name softly. She removed the fork from her grip, leaving it balanced against the place.

Extending an arm forward, she flicked him in the forehead.

"Gatz, why do you think I'm here?"

Her voice was still gentle, in contrast to her action. It was something she'd used on her younger brothers, when they were children, and weren't paying attention. Oddly enough, Cora thought she'd grown out of such a gesture.

"It can be hard to let people in through the pain. But, somewhere along the way, you did let us in - myself, Valery Noble , Briana Sal-Soren . Did you not realize it?"

Cora arched a brow and retracted her hand.

"You're hurting. Life hurt you. You had to make choices that weren't good, but you didn't make them because you were a bad person - you made them out love for your family, and then out of pain, not malice. You deserve people that love you, and you have them."

She curled her grasp around the fork once more and Cora started back in on her eggs.

"I would like to try this macaroni salad, sometime. If you're willing."

Frankly, the concept didn't sound good to Cora. She was moreso curious about sharing in something that meant a great deal to her friend.