[member="Cira"]
Her lifting the datapad was met by a firm hand, his eyes following hers and realizing she was purposefully avoiding his gaze by looking just below his head. It didn't matter specifically where she was aiming, just that she wasn't looking at him.
She wasn't going anywhere, not right now. Especially not with that datapad pressed to her nose. His incredulous look told her all she would need to know about the lack of a 'game.'
"Oh, Force have mercy you disappeared. Because no one has ever done that before. Ever." He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, you left folk in the lurch, but you know what? The transition wasn't difficult. People picked up the mantle quickly. It was only the people who really knew you who were affected. HK. Tegea. Ayden." He sighed, casting his eyes downward. "Myself."
Shaking his head, he lifted his eyes slowly, although they weren't anywhere close to meeting hers. "You do this to yourself constantly," and he was starting on a roll. This was going to end poorly for all involved, "pass off answering questions or talking to me with barely relevant information. You physically left the Protectorate, that's nothing like turning off a datapad for a half hour or something to speak to someone who cares about you.
Can you even get your head that far out of your own arse? Or must you continue to live in your own little world?" He wasn't even mad, just confused. She was endlessly frustrating as she seemingly morphed herself time and time again into whatever she felt she needed to to avoid talking to him on any level beyond superficial talk.
"You came here to return a mask. A mask that bothered you for some reason. I've already said this but you could have tossed it, mailed it, left it on my own door. But instead you bothered to hunt me down to ask me why I did it.
Why was I bothering you. You just had to know. You came here to be me. To be nosy.
You wanted your answers, and you knew I would give them to you. I gave you the mask because it is a part of me. It's a physical representation of a time I remember little of, other than that I wasn't myself. I was afraid. Of myself. Of others. It was easier to put that on and pretend to be strong than realize things were out of my control.
And I gave it to you because frankly, while I was hoping you might question it, hoping it might strike a nerve... I didn't expect it to hit home. I didn't expect you to care enough about me or my past to come here and ask questions."
He wet his lips, fingers sliding faintly along her datapad as they arched and curled, but didn't leave. His eyes were on the floor, mind going a mile a minute as he was suddenly saying far more than he'd ever said.
When he finally spoke again, his voice was a husky whisper, "I'd always hoped, on some level, that you might care. That you'd want to know who I was, or where I'd come from or what I'd done to reach... here. I've always wondered those things about you.
But for all your talk of there not being a game, there's clearly one being played. Neither of us know the rules, though. We're just making it up as we go along. You put up your walls, and I batter them down. And I anger you, and you hastily rebuild them and anger me. And the cycle repeats.
I've seen you do so much. Things people would scarcely imagine. Ever since you did whatever it was you did on Denon, I knew there was more to you than what you let on. And the more time I spend with you, the more I realize I'll never truly know you.
And I'm fine with that. Just as we study history based upon the evidence at hand, so too must I study you with only what's at my fingertips. The way my comments sometimes amuse you, but you try to hide before I notice. Or the way your pupils dilated as everyone closed in around you. Even the way, just a few moments ago when I brought up what you were subconsciously doing and you retreated.
What's so bad with taking a chance, Cira? You'd gotten so afraid of making a mistake that when you finally made one, it all but confirmed to you that you shouldn't make more. And so you'll continue to make them, slowly, and use it as fuel for whatever mask it is you're wearing right now. I've always known that when you leave the office you're someone different, but just for once I'd like you to be you. Right here.
Right now.
Not the woman defined by her title. Just you."
Inhaling deeply, he gave a long exhalation before wetting his lips. "If it helps you any, my name is Brandon. I was born in the Unknown Regions on a world I've never seen, and that I call Terra - a name I found in one of those 'human origin theory' books." There was a little bit of a laugh as he finally looked up.
"I used to wear glasses, you know? But during my time working with Alliance SpecOps, they fixed my eyesight for me." He shrugged, moving past her to sit himself on the couch. "Frankly, I don't know why I'm telling you this. I fully expect you to blow this off, call me crazy and tell me that I know nothing about you before walking out...
But maybe one of these times I'll get through to you."