A Beacon in the Storm

[Riamah]

If there was a first time in her life to show something akin to surprise, his answer did that. Clamping her mouth shut and taking a few moments to collect her thoughts before speaking, it would have been clearly seen that her jaw had dropped open for a moment or two.

"It's that simple? Really?"

In her world of politics, hiding in the shadows and deception. A shining beacon sat across from her.

He took the pendant back from her even though she almost desperately wanted to cling to it. In doing that he asked what she was going to say on his offer. Sitting back in her chair, Ra looked at him thoughtfully.

"I like the whole idea, but don't see myself giving up fully on my code. I will indeed need to think on this longer."

[member="Vulpesen"]

 

[Vulpesen]

Vulpesen nodded and started to wag his tail. The feeling of her surprise in the force was intoxicating. "It really is. You'll find I don't like to complicate things. This galaxy is confusing enough as it is." As Ra gave her answer, Vulpesen gave a small sigh. "I suppose that's fair. Though I'll repeat that you needn't give up on your beliefs to follow the Vitae. My mother was once a sith, and I assure you she hasn't changed much since she and my father absconded from their respective orders... hell she certainly changed quite a bit less than my ex-jedi father."

 

[Riamah]

"Yeah, I agree with not liking complications. I've also learned to tell the truth, but not usually so openly as I have been tonight. I hope you know I didn't try to deceive you for long. It's a point to you. In this game of life, you have one up on me."

Petting Ace again as Ra thought on his offer, even if she didn't accept tonight, she knew this chance meeting was leading something more. What exactly would only be revealed in the future and she was happy with that.

"A Jedi and Sith for parents. Must have been an interesting childhood. As long as I don't become what is commonly seen as a Sith."

[member="Vulpesen"]

 

[Vulpesen]

"While I haven't lied tonight, the code doesn't say a thing about the truth... I've no problem with deceiving my enemies. In fact, I'm quite eager to do so." Ace started to sit up, looking between Vulps and Ra. "It may have been... but my parents thought it would bee a bit too interesting. I was given to a family friend at a young age, and only recently did I learn that I wasn't even human. And be careful, the title of sith will permeate a person whether they like it or not. I consider myself fortunate that I got to know you before you revealed your allegiance."

 

[Riamah]

"To be fair, neither of the other codes say anything about lying either. I wonder though, why some do it and others don't. Barring the fact there seems to an eternal rivalry between the Jedi and Sith...over ideals, I have no enemies that I know of. Honestly, I could careless about the alignment of another person as long as they don't get in my way."

She listened to what he had to say about growing up and found a couple other things that made them similar. While her parents hadn't sent her away as they had been murdered. Ra was raised by her master. It was at some point in her childhood that she learned she wasn't human originally either. That was in a different body though and didn't apply to her now, but the memory was still there.

"I can tell you're not human, how is it you weren't aware of this?"

It was an honest and​ open question, after asking Ra realized she could have phrased it differently and maybe a little more diplomatically, but it was already out.

"If you had walked into the home of a sith, what would have been different?"

[member="Vulpesen"]

 

[Vulpesen]

"Fair enough. But our code was intentionally left vague as to allow any number of methods for furthering it. However, despite all of this, any further preaching and I'll run the risk of appearing redundant." He took another drink from his glass. "Zorrens go through a special period called the 'Trials.' Basically, we're thrown in the woods for a month and our bodies go through a special change akin to human puberty. Our eyes start glowing, we grow claws and fangs, we get a new pair of joints in our hips, and for us pure bloods," he lifted his tail and wagged it in front of his face. "We get these. And of course our ears change as well. I found out about my heritage while hiding from the galaxy in the jungles of Myrkr. i got tired of the sith and the jedi and so I spent some time in a place where the force simply didn't exist."

 

[Riamah]

"Sounds like it's unique for sure and something I can work with hand in hand with how I interpret the other code. You say just bearing the title of sith will permeate a person. Yet when I revealed myself, you could only know I was dark."

That was all she said on the codes and would let the subject drop. Besides, Ra was more curious about him personally, than talking theologies and ideals. Raising an eyebrow, she had almost forgotten Ace in her lap and returned to petting him.

When she replied, it was with a humorous smile.

"At least it only lasts a month. Sometimes I wonder if it ever ends for some people."

The physical changes sounded painful and she had difficult time imagining them. When she tried, it felt like she wanted to cringe.

"How did you react?"

[member="Vulpesen"]

 

[Vulpesen]

He grinned at her questions, though a brow did raise as he sensed a spike in her interest. "I reacted well, I think. Granted, at first I was terrified. i didn't know what was happening to me. I simply remember one day Alex tossed me a protein bar, and when I went up to catch it, i accidentally slashed right through the wrapped with my nails. It was strange to see my human form changing so dramatically. But more than that, it was exhilarating. Suddenly I was stronger than I had ever been. My eyes once brown and hazel now glowed like stars. And my nose and ears, OH the senses! Suddenly the forest was like a work of art, every scent and sound amplified. It was like hearing the heartbeat of the galaxy. And once I met my people, especially my parents, when they made it all make sense, it was like pieces falling into place on some grand puzzle I never knew I was trying to solve." Vulpesen's voice rose and fell as he spoke, showing his excitement as he thought back to the memory. Those days on Myrkr had indeed been a trial, but it was something that had marked him, made him realize who he was. There was no pain in that past, only exhilaration. "Of course, getting used to the tail was another matter entirely... but growing up on Amar, it wasn't as strange as it could have been."

 

[Riamah]

In listening to him speak about how he reacted to his changes. What they did to his senses, she knew it would be a topic they could talk about any time. While it might seem odd to her, she didn't feel the differences between them to be great. Their personalities meshed together well to her and that was what mattered.

"Somehow now you don't fear much."

His words gave her an insight into him and his people. Filing it down as important details, she smiled as he spoke of the changes. Sensory overload would be something to be aware of she was sure. Not that it was something she would do to him on purpose.

"It is good you found a family and have a people to call your own."

[member="Vulpesen"]

 

[Vulpesen]

"Whats there to fear? I've faced sith emperors in battle, I've been to hell and back, and I've touched the pure essence of the force with my very soul. When you've fought in as many wars and battles as I have fear becomes obsolete. Its simply a reaction of adrenaline to make me speed up my pace." She then spoke of his family, and maybe he was mistaken, but he could almost swear he heard a bit of a wish in her words. "Good indeed... though it did bring about quite a few problems to my life. Mainly that of restoring my people to their former glory."

@Ra'a'mah

 

[Riamah]

"My life hasn't been nearly as exciting, but I have been in battle. Just nothing so grand as you."

She had seen the fall of the Dominion​ and faced her own mortality more than once, but not like he had. He was not one she would want to fight. The thought had been in her mind before, but it came back to her now.

"Sadly, I do have a couple of fears. If somebody were to learn what they were they could be used against me."

One of them was her love for children. Though she didn't have any of own, they were the future of the galaxy and thus needed to live. Another was her fear of being close to somebody. Though if it happened to be Vulpesen, she didn't feel it would be that much of a weakness. He could take care of himself. There was another and she hoped nobody used that against her. Robots. She hated and feared them at the same time, but Ra knew they had a use.

"But you succeeded in doing that."

[member="Vulpesen"]

 

[Vulpesen]

"I would hope you would never have to face such horrors. Sure I gained glory, fame, and no small amount of wealth. But such things fade away, and they came with a price that could not be refunded." Ace Sat up and leaned against Ra, his tail waving a bit as his eyes turned to watch his bondmate speak. "And don't run from your fears. Embrace them. Use them. I fear the loss of my home as any person should. But I use that fear to fight for my people. Because of that fear, I cannot allow myself to fail and thus I'll fight force, saber, tooth and claw to keep Veradune safe. I fear one day Faust will return to finish the job he started on Hapes all those years ago..." Vulpesen grinned and moved aside his coat to tap the sides of several EMP grenades which were hidden within. "For things like that, I've found its wise to make your fears fear you in return. Fear is a natural reaction, Ra. Its your bodies way of telling you to prepare for hardship. You should trust your instincts. Just know that fear does not always demand that you run from tribulation."

 

[Riamah]

Ra looked down at Ace as he moved in her lap and listened to what Vulpesen said. Only her eyes glanced at him, but they stayed. Making the same eye contact Ace was, she watched him through only the tops of her eyes. He had her full attention though. Even though Ace was leaning against her, she continued to pet him absentmindedly as her guest spoke.

For somebody that appeared close to her age, he was wiser than and older than he should be. A few questions came to mind at his points, but she thought she knew the answer to one of them already.

"What did you lose?"

Finding it a commendable attribute that he would do such a think, she realized that she not only trusted him, but liked him. While the friendship was just in its infant stages, she couldn't see it falling apart. One thing she knew about herself was her word, if this man wanted that from her, she would gladly give it. To herself, she spoke a small vow to never try to hurt him. If Ace could pick that up and in a way with his proximity, he may pick up on her feeling she felt for Vulpesen. In her own way, she would give him a type of loyalty, but she wasn't yet ready to give voice to this.

A slight smile crossed her features when she thought of another part of what he said, "why would make a person I might care for fear me?" To be fair, it was how she was raised, but in reality she didn't feel she could do that to a child like she had been.

"If needed I will fight what I fear."

[member="Vulpesen"]

 

[Vulpesen]

"Well for starters I lost an ear. But I also lost no small amount of friends. There were days I had lost my sanity. Over time, I lost what I thought made me myself. My belief in the jedi code, and since those days, I've quite a bit of sleep thinking about the things I've seen and done." Vulpesen shifted in his seat, leaning forward once more. "You misunderstand me. The people you care for shouldn't fear you, but rather you should not be ashamed of the fear of losing them. After all, its that fear that drives you do do all you can to keep them." It was interesting to speak to a person like Ra, someone who wanted to hear of his past as she did, and moreover, someone who might benefit from it. He found he didn't want to leave, the woman before him simply seemed far too interesting. A living contradiction. A sith who cared for those yoked by slavery. A woman of a harsh life who had risen to power without walking a trail baptized in blood and tears.

 

[Riamah]

To hear of what he lost may have brought a bit sympathy into Ra, but she didn't think he wanted it. It wasn't something he was after. Besides she had asked him. It became obvious to her, she had actually lead a rather sheltered life. It wasn't until she spoke to him that she realized this. While she had seen battle, it wasn't like he had or for the same reasons.

She had been all about the self empowerment of herself and needed to prevent people from taking from her what she had acquired in her quest. In actuality all she wanted was knowledge, however with knowledge did come power.

"Ah I see the difference. As I said before though, I really don't have anybody I fear to lose."

Ra wasn't one to go in search of friends or companionship in the past, due to the thought it was a weakness to have them. An enemy could use them against her and exploit them. Now with his words, she thought maybe she could open up to the chance. Part of her wanted to, but the side she always listened to was telling her no and to run. To keep on as she was, alone.

There was a few moments of silence before she asked her next question. Not wanting the evening to end, she could come up with more.

"Would you go back and change anything?"

Lifting her head now, her gold eyes looked into his.

[member="Vulpesen"]

 

[Vulpesen]

"Perhaps that's something that should change. Life is so much more exciting when there are people to run through it with." Vulpesen nodded to the small blue wolf that sat perched in Ra's lap. "Like Ace there. My more insane moments wouldn't be half as fun without him screaming in terror in side my skull." Ace let out a bit of a yip, confirming his words as a silent chastisement flew between them.

If I could go back... yes. Of course I would, and I think anyone who says otherwise is either lieing or a fool. For instance, I'd like to have ducked a little lower or tilted my head just far enough to not get my ear blown off." His smiled brightly as he mentioned his missing ear. "I'd like to have killed Balaya when i had the chance, rather than join the sith on some fool's errand. And I'd have certainly liked to have seen the signs that Alexandra wasn't worth keeping. But if you were to ask if I was unhappy with how my life turned out, I can't say that I am. Sure I made some mistakes and sure there are things I could have gone without. But if not for that sniper's shot, I'd have never have learned about the verpine shatter gun. If not for clinging to Alex, I'd have never earned the story of going to hell and back. And if not for Balaya and my time hiding among the sith, I'd have never have learned to do this." Concentrating a bit, Vulpesen returned his gaze towards Ra. Then, it was as if a switch had been flicked off. While his smile, face and body stayed the same, his simple presence in the force went from ambiguous grey to something darker than any presence Ra could have ever seen before. It was pure concentrated darkside which made him seem like a simple void shaped person. "Scars hurt. Some of them are ugly. And yet, while I may not want them, I know they are necessary to teach me the lessons of life."

 

[Riamah]

"Perhaps it should. It would make me face a fear."

Ra chuckled as he answered her question on if he could go back and change things. The points he picked on, she could see the desire to change. However, even they did help make him who he was and that she wouldn't change for anything.

The honesty and openness of him drew her in. It made her want to know more in fine detail who he was. For once, she felt like he could be the one that would liberate her from loneliness. It really hadn't dawned on her until tonight that she was alone. She had earned everything she had on her own. Through her own ambition to see things through and had done it without the help of a partner. How much stronger could she be if she had somebody like that?

"Don't those scars people get teach each of them though? Some learn from them, but others keep repeating the same mistakes. You know, while I could also pick on certain parts of my life to change...I wouldn't do it if I could. They have made me who I am and if things had gone different, I wouldn't be me."

He revealed his own darkside and she sat forward only slightly so not to squish Ace and raised one of her eyebrows. Giving a simple nod and half smile, she sat back in her chair.

[member="Vulpesen"]

 

[Vulpesen]

"And of all the fears to face, that one is quite possible the most exhilarating. As I said, while I might not like my scars, they made me who I am. While I may not like some of the roads I've taken, I will admit that each one was needed to change me into the person I am today, whether or not that is a good thing or bad one." While he spoke, he allowed his illusion to persist, permeating the air with his dark miasma. "As for this, I call it dark cloak. Helped me trick the sith into thinking I was one of them. Takes quite a bit of focus though. And the process of keeping it up isn't very pleasant." Upon the last word, he let the shadows vanish from his force presence, leaving him as he usually was.

@Ra'a'mah

 

[Riamah]

"It can also be the most painful. The fear of feeling that pain and loosing, but as you said earlier, it is better to have loved and lost than not at all. It's still never happened to me. Growing up, it was never an option and as adult, it's been a myth. Maybe I never met the right person."

A look crossed her eyes at the thought that maybe he was the one, but it was too early to know.

"Quite similar to my neutral façade. I can also hide completely my Force and use an illusion to hide me from normal vision."

When she wasn't home or among the Sith, she kept that façade on. It was like second nature to her and had been with her for many years. He resumed his normal presence and she picked up her untouched glass to take a drink from it.

"What do you plan to do after the storm is over?"

[member="Vulpesen"]

 

[Vulpesen]

"Pain is proof of living. And perhaps you haven't. Though, I suppose I've found the same problem." Vulpesen's tail flickered under his hands and he looked to Ace who start to slump over and fall asleep. Amused by the display put on by his companion, he missed the sudden light in Ra's eyes. "Not sure yet. Might continue to explore the planet. I might head home." He chuckled and drained the rest of his glass. "Got so caught up in talking with you, I almost forgot why I came here in the first place."

@Ra'a'mah