Location: Khar Shian, walking away from Naga Sadow's Secret Fortress
Objective: Who the kark knows?
Theme: She’s lost control…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVc29bYIvCM
‘Confusion in her eyes that says it all.
She's lost control.
And she's clinging to the nearest passer by,
She's lost control.'
'And she gave away the secrets of her past,
And said I've lost control again,
And of a voice that told her when and where to act,
She said I've lost control again.'
'I could live a little better with the myths and the lies,
When the darkness broke in, I just broke down and cried.
I could live a little in a wider line,
When the change is gone, when the urge is gone,
To lose control. When here we come.’
Maja heard the thunderous roar of the creature but paid it no heed. It could have been vanquished or perhaps eaten the entire group – it mattered little. No, less than little, it mattered not at all.
Maja was not one to be emotional – it was a luxury those born into the underclass could ill afford. Unlike her sister, she’d been abandoned as a baby and was brought up a virtual slave, working freighters for just enough money not to starve. Those that had ruled – those that had not lived a life of servitude.
But she’d grown up pragmatic. Love was never going to be an option and she’d given up even hoping for it when she was maybe six or seven. Kindness was a weakness where she grew up, and so was permanently discarded before she was a teenager. Pity was never an option – nobody had less than her and as nobody ever took pity on her, she knew it was a pointless emotion. She had neither friends nor enemies – she wasn’t important enough for either. Oddly there was no fear either. When you have nothing, people can’t threaten you – and as her life was worthless, even the loss of that couldn’t bother her.
Envy was the closest she came. Sometimes, when she couldn’t sleep at night she wished for more than she had. Her own bed. Clean water to wash in. Clothes other than the ones she worked and slept in. Which was why the life of a petty criminal came to be – to do her best to earn a single credit to call her own. Of course it never worked out like that – as she would no sooner have one than she’d lose it trying to double it. But of all the emotions, this was the driver from the moment she could remember having memories until the day she discovered she was Force Sensitive.
Of course there are two other emotions of note to consider. The first was revisited when she met her sister – and that was love. From zero to one hundred percent in twenty-four hours, she’d been overwhelmed. And as it was only days since they’d first met, she was still intoxicated – albeit the nasty side-effects were already invading its space – like virulent weeds looking to usurp the beautiful bloom.
But the one to consider now was anger. She’d never been angry before. In part because it was pointless – those who served and showed anger didn’t last long. She had nobody to be angry with – except perhaps her circumstances – but as mentioned before, she was the practical type.
So twenty years of bottled up frustration, enmity, injustice, poor treatment and lack of respect decided this was the perfect time to show themselves. And of course, they weren’t going to trickle out – no, they erupted like molten lava from a long dormant volcano. And of course, there had to be fire!
'And where do you think you are going?'
Maja stopped momentarily. The voice was unmistakable and dripping with disappointment. For a split second she wanted to weaken, to turn tail and run to her sister. To beg forgiveness. To ask to be shown how to use the Force. So stop being such an abject failure for failing to deal with a Sithspawn when she had no means at her disposal to do so. To fall to the ground and kiss her sister’s feet for being such a pathetic lowlife that couldn't manage to learn Force Abilities just by sitting near someone that could to…well, the sarcasm was now dripping from every thought. So she shook her head and carried on walking.
'Do you believe yourself to be above this all?'
This time she stopped and turned to face the general direction she believed her sister to be in – the blizzard and darkness limiting her vision.
‘What the…crinking shab are you talking about?’ Maja never used swear words – for the same reason she had no emotions – because she could ill-afford them. They were the reserve of the ruling classes where she came from. Sure, some of her fellow servants used them quietly, when they thought nobody was listening, amongst themselves. But she never saw the point in that. But that didn’t mean she didn’t know what thy were.
‘Have I karking disappointed you have I? Has the poor baby Maja failed to face a crinking dragon armed with just a water pistol?’ She handled her small blaster as if this was evidence. ‘Has poor CRINKING, KARKING MAJA KRONGED THING’S UP? HAS KARKING SHE?’ Now she was getting warmed up…
‘LISTEN….YOU…KARKING…KARKING…SLULAG, WAS THIS SOME SORT OF KARKING TEST? WAS I SUPPOSED TO CRINKING KNOW THAT? WHO KARKING WALKED AWAY KARKING FIRST, EH? YOU KARKING DID, LEAVING ME TO FACE THAT CRINKING BEAST WITH WHAT? A SHAB BLASTER AND WHAT? I’LL TELL YOU KARKING WHAT. CRINKING NOTHING.’
‘A WEEK AGO I WAS WORKING ON FREIGHTERS. I MET A WOMAN AND SHE TOLD ME I COULD USE THE KARKING FORCE. I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT KARKING WAS. AND THEN WE…WE…WE…CONNECTED OR CRINKING SOMETHING. I THOUGHT MY BRAIN WAS KARKLED. AND THE NEXT DAY YOU COME AND GET ME. ALL MY KARKING LIFEDAYS ROLLED INTO ONE. AND YOU GIVE ME A PLACE TO LIVE AND KARKING LEAVE TO FIGHT SOME JEDI AT SOME KARKING OLD TOMB. AND YOU GIVE ME KRINKING GIFTS AND TELL ME YOU WANT ME TO KARKING WELL COME HERE WITH YOU.’
‘DID YOU KARKING WELL THINK TO TEACH ME ABOUT THE CRINKING FORCE? HOW TO USE IT, DRUK, I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO FIND IT! SO I’M KARKING WELL FREEZING MY BUTT OFF AND YOU GET ALL ANGRY WITH ME BECAUSE I’M ACTING AS IF I’M ABOVE ALL THIS…’
Her breathing was ragged now, but oddly she was no longer cold. Or wet. She was both physically and metaphorically steaming. For the snow was no longer hitting her, it was evaporating with a quiet hiss before it reached her skin – and her sodden clothes were now dry, steam rising from them. Not that she was aware of any of this of course.
‘So no…I don’t think I’m above any of this. Quite the crinking opposite. Clearly Sith are supposed to use the Force without any training whatsoever. It seems your faith in me was misplaced. I karking well can’t do it without someone teaching me.E chu ta. Am I such a disappointment?’
[member="Silara Kuhn"]