Private A Lesson From Defeat

[Salazar Niminen]

“Mayday! Mayday! Mayday! This is Padawan Salazar Niminen of the SDF. Does any friendly station copy? I have been detected by the Bryns & currently in hyperspace moving towards the Atollon System. My ship’s badly damaged but I’m still trying to evade capture. Need backup ASAP! Any station! please respond!” Response came back static. It was his first recon mission and it went all wrong, but It wasn’t a good time to recollect how. His main motive was to evade capture & his ship was almost shot to scrap. He almost came out of hyperspace when he saw a Bryn Cruiser in front of him readying their plasma cannons.​

“No more running away. Let's show them who they're messing with!” He told himself. He charged towards the cruiser with all his hope & will & the only functioning ion cannon of the ship. He was about to fire his first shot when out of nowhere a surprising plasma shot hit his ion cannon down and a second shot out of nowhere knocked out his only remaining engine. He was already in high sublight speed when he was hit and so his ship spiraled out of control & he saw himself going towards the surface of planet Atollon as he braced for impact. He kept pulling his ship’s centre stick to safely crash land into the surface & tried hard to reroute power into his Heatshield to smoothen the landing as much possible. "Dammit! Should’ve been more careful.” As he neared the surface he saw a big plain field and landed there, but the extremely rough impact knocked him out cold.....​

Tiland Kortun

 

[Tiland Kortun]

Salazar Niminen

Tiland frowned over the edge of his tea cup as the small ship smashed into the ground only a few hundred meters away. The shock rippled through the ground and spilled his tea pot over the edge of the table.

But he could sense that someone still lived inside and he picked himself up, tidied his belongings and strode across the landscape towards the ship's wreckage. The cockpit remained intact, he could see, and the unconscious pilot within.

Tiland laid a hand on the cockpit and closed his eyes. He extended his presence and his awareness outward from his body into that of the glass. he could feel each molecule, each network, each microscopic weft and weave. He stayed like this for several moments until he nodded, sensing what it was he had looked for. Two fingers pressed against a small spot and his body shifted. Not much, but it was enough and it was precise as he punched, only moving his arm an inch but channeling what had to amount to hundreds of kilograms worth of force into the ends of two fingers.

The hardened material of the cockpit cracked and shattered under the force. The cracks spread outward from his initial force and the entire cockpit fell to pieces. He reached in and dragged the pilot out.

It was one of the felinoid species of the galaxy, but he couldn't tell which one. He seemed in decent enough condition, except for having lost consciousness.

But still, the old monk dragged him free and away from safety should the ship explode. He reached into his satchel and pulled out a handful of strong-smelling herbs and crushed them between two fingers. These he wafted beneath the pilot's nostrils to help revive him while another finger resting lightly on the forehead let a surge of healing from the Force attend to any damage that may be keeping him unconscious.

 

[Salazar Niminen]

As he woke up with a gasp, he saw a very old hermit but suspecting him to be a Bryn for a moment he concluded that he is just a weak old man who took pity on him. He was glad he was alive & remembered his duty towards the war & got himself up very quickly. Looking at the old man he said with immense pride, "Thank you old man! Your service will be noted by the Concord & you will be handsomely rewards for saving a Jedi." Saying this he quickly ran to the wreckage of his ship and tried to contact his headquarters. "Snake Pit. Snake Pit. This is Viper 9-9. Do you copy? Does anyone copy?" The line came back static. "Damn! No signal."

He came back outside disappointed & ignited his lightsaber to check if it took any damage. "Atleast you are in fighting shape dear friend." He breathed a sigh of relief. He then saw the old man still standing there with a slight smile on his face as if he's happy & at peace. That infuriated Salazar! How come someone be so calm in such a situation? He went to him and spoke like he is some sort of second-class citizen. "Old man! Tell me where I can find a repair station in here! I need to get back. I have duties to perform!" The old fragile looking man kept standing there with that small smile in his face. "Hey! Do you speak? Or you just smile old man!"​

Tiland Kortun

 

[Tiland Kortun]

Salazar Niminen

Tiland couldn't help but raise an eyebrow and lean as his staff as the Cathar Jedi spoke. He didn't say anything, but kept a half-bemused smile on his face. Was this what Jedi in the Concord were like these days? Perhaps Caedyn should go back to them and straighten, but eventually he decided it would be best to answer the crashed pilot. Perhaps it was a head injury rather than anything else that evoked such words from the Jedi.

"Oh, I speak," Tiland answered, "But I was trying to decide how to tell you the closest repair station is at least thirty light-years away." He would let those words sink in before turning and walking away. "I have a shelter not far away from here if you want somewhere to stay out of the dust storms."

A hint of mischief twinkled in his eyes as he turned back around and gave half a bow. "I am Tiland Kortun, Jedi Master, and Grandmaster of the Circle of the Light Hand and the Jedi Pilgrims."

He hummed softly to himself as he strode through the reddish dust, nodding sagely to the spider-like creatures that skittered towards him in the shade. They paused, chittered, and then went on their way.

 

[Salazar Niminen]

Salazar was surprised. He had read about the Jedi Pilgrims back in the Academy. The purest of all the sects of Jedi who live their lives for the Force & Force only. Their neutrality always attracted him as he knew there was always something to learn from humility & neutrality and he always wanted to learn all he could to become a better Jedi from them. But to find one here; out in a desert planet, & that too The Grandmaster of the sect. This is how he treated him? He was shocked, confused & ashamed. He closed his eyes realizing his misbehaviour. He was unable to move when Tiland looked back and asked what happened. “I am sorry for my behaviour. I have no excuse for it. I took you for a weak old man who just saved me to get some reward from the SJC & I showed my arrogance to you. Please forgive Grandmaster. My pride & my failure got the better of me.”​

Tiland Kortun

 

[Tiland Kortun]

Salazar Niminen

"Arrogance and cynicism, I suspect," Tiland said mildly as he resumed his journey. "You are forgiven. Both vices are ones that the major orders can easily fall prey to. It's a risk of the organizational structure, especially in a time of war." His staff echoed off the rocky soil as he picked his way back towards the way he had come from. Above, a series of cave-like structures lurked in the shadows from the sun.

"And not just the orders," Tiland said as he jumped up and grabbed an outcrop before pulling himself up onto the ledge, bringing one leg to hook over the edge to standing. "It's a particular risk for any Jedi. So many of us live our lives apart from the people we claim to serve that we begin to see ourselves as separate and different, while we most often engage with the worst of what the galaxy has to offer."

He leaned over and offered a hand down. "What did you say your name was again?"

 

[Salazar Niminen]

"Salazar Niminen", He said with a slight smile on his face as he held the hands of The Grandmaster and once he got up, and he said, “Thank you Master.” He shrugged his shoulders and said, “And why not. The midi-chlorians exist in all lifeforms. We just have a higher concentration & that brings us Jedi a bit more responsibility over those who can’t find their way in this dark galaxy. Making use sort of like heavier trampoline artists. We get swayed to the extremes too easily if we don’t maintain any balance on ourselves.”​

As he was saying this, he started thinking of all the dark disciples and wondered if they even had a sense of responsibility towards the dark side they served, when he tripped over because of his loose bootlaces. He excused himself from The Grandmaster & was tying the laces.​

Tiland Kortun

 

[Tiland Kortun]

Salazar Niminen

"Well met then, Salazar Niminen," Tiland said as he resumed his climb up the strange formation. Hands and feet pressed against the rock at almost impossible angles as he glided up the side of the feature. He considered the words from his unexpected companion and shook his head again. "I fear you missed the essence of my point. Even by describing Jedi as heavier trampoline artists, or those with more responsibility to help those who cannot find their way, you still elevate the Jedi above the rest of the galaxy."

He paused and turned, leaning on his staff to watch as the crashed Jedi adjusted his laces. "Every individual has the same choice to make, regardless of whether they are Jedi, have the capacity to become Jedi, or not. The Matukai, for example, learned how to increase an individual's sensitivity to the Force enough to be Jedi, when they did not have such a thing before. It was a talent and gift they could cultivate."

"It is every individual's choice to foster harmony and well-being amongst their circles or to cause discord. Jedi or not, we all face that same decision. We just have the greater capacity for harm." He rapped the ground with his staff as he thought. "But that does not inherently elevate our responsibility. But regardless, what brings you to Atollon?"

 

[Salazar Niminen]

“Nothing.”, said Salazar as he tried to follow the Grandmaster & keep up with him, as he is awestruck as to how he is taking those turns. He continued, “It wasn’t my choice. I was in a solo recon mission deep inside Bryn'adûl territory. Got detected, unfortunately. Most of the time I am able to escape before they even notice I was there. I fear you are right master.”

He sighed, “My time as a Jedi living apart from those we swear to protect has truly made me arrogant & cynical and right now I don’t see a way out of either this planet or from my own self.” He remembered as he said, “I have never known anything else. Back in my home planet, my father was a clan leader. I’ve seen him being so benevolent & yet a bit aloof from people he led because of his duties. And after that, I came here & it was the same.”

As they got to the top of the feature together, he took a deep breath, “So have I lost my way? Have I given too much by being a soldier? What should I do?” He kept following him; dejected, shaken.​

Tiland Kortun

 

[Tiland Kortun]

Salazar Niminen

Tiland paused and waited for the other to follow him as he picked his way through the rocky soil, until he found a bit of a clearing where the rocks arched and rolled upwards, forming almost an amphitheater. He tilted his head and half closed his eyes as he reached out with the Force.

There were echoes here of a great demonstration of power in the Force. Not good, not evil, neither light nor dark. It just was.

Balance. Manifestation of the natural world, essentially. The power of the natural processes that undergirded the galaxy. He nodded as he listened to Salazar’s worlds.

“Perhaps, perhaps not. There are many things that shape our personalities, our beliefs, and our actions.” Tiland considered before speaking again. “And for what to do? Reconnect with the Force. Find harmony with the world around you and the living things within it. Not hierarchy, but harmony. Learn to center yourself amongst them. And this is-“ He gestured to the area around them. “A perfect place to learn.”

 

[Salazar Niminen]

Salazar closed his eyes and called out to the force. His recent conflict made him tenser than before. He struggled to connect for a few minutes then understood that to reconnect to the Force, he will have to relax. And so he did.​

He let go of everything. His childhood memories, his training, his recent mission, his failure; everything. All he now had in mind now was The Living Force & soon the faint whispers were clearer to him. He felt the Force again, keeping aside his own personal emotions.

He opened his eyes and smiled, “I am ready, Grandmaster. I beseech you. Please teach me your way. I would be at peace if I become a better version of myself everyday because of your guidance. All I ever wanted was to become a Jedi. Now I think I understand. I don't need to become a Jedi. All I need to be is a better version of myself.”​

Tiland Kortun

 

[Tiland Kortun]

Salazar Niminen

Tiland sat and waited as his new companion cleared his mind and reconnected with the Force. He sat and set up his brazier with water and crushed tea leaves in his palm, waiting until the right moment to drop them into the boiling water. When Salazar spoke, he looked up and smiled. "Ah, excellent, my friend. That is the first place to start."

He waited for a time until the tea was ready and then, carefully and precisely, poured out two cups. He handed one to Salazar and cupped his hands around his own. "The need for growth is the first step on the path to wisdom. Now, when you say you need to be a better version of yourself, what is it you have in mind? I can certainly teach you, but that is a journey you alone can teach."

 

[Salazar Niminen]

Salazar took the cup of tea from the Grandmaster with his two hands, thanking him, he patiently listened to him. He thought for a minute only to be interrupted by the exotic taste of the simple tea the Grandmaster was so generous to make for him. He recollected himself & replied, “We have been taught in the academy that the force is our ally. But I consider it as my friend, who helps me in my needs & so do I in its needs. When I meditate on some situations, the Force sometimes help me with them. I want to understand it more & to feel it more, not just know it. I want to deepen my senses so that I can feel the force around me more strongly and be of more help to it whenever it needs me, as it does to me. And I believe by learning more advanced skills like Tutaminis, Centre of Being, Psychometry, Crucitron & Force Empathy – I can do that. I have recently come to this believe that the moment I draw my lightsaber, the fight is already lost, no matter who wins. With the help of these skills, I can give any aggressor or opponent a chance to listen to me, so that we can sort our differences. Lately, war has made me way more aggressive than I was. My Cathar instincts have been fed alright, but I am not in peace. Seeing everyone as a threat, friends as possible spies. But there was a time when all I wanted was to be as benevolent as my father. To listen to the person in front of me, friends or enemies, especially the latter. Some opponents don’t talk; they straight forward attack, with blasters or lightsabers & the combined skills of Tutaminis & Force Empathy can help me understand him more and dilute the situation. Sometimes I will have no other choice but to draw my lightsaber & call in the aid of the force to help me defend myself, then the skills of Centre of Being & Crucitron will come in handy. I don’t know if I am right in my opinion but, this is what I want. What do you say Grandmaster. Am I wrong anywhere?”​

Tiland Kortun

 

[Tiland Kortun]

Salazar Niminen

Tiland cradled his own tea in his hand, listening as the other Jedi spoke. He nodded thoughtfully, although a faint frown flickered across his face as Salazar spoke of the ability known as crucitorn. But slowly, he nodded.

"I see what you are seeking- a deeper connection within the Force, perhaps? Do I understand correctly? To sense it at all times? That I can certainly help your journey, although I am afraid I cannot teach crucitorn. It is a skill I am not sure it is wise for Jedi to learn. I was taught something similar by my uncle when I was young, but that was a skill of the Sith, not the Jedi. The rest, I can certainly teach you."

He paused to take a sip of tea and consider his next words. "The challenge for what you're asking is the process requires one primary thing-- to exist in a continual state of meditation while also going about life. It is, essentially, a paradox, and why the Circle trains in a style of Teras Kasi. This meditative state allows one to slip deeply into the Force at a moment's notice and will greatly aid you in many of the things you wish to attempt."

"As for seeing enemies everywhere and spies amongst friends," Tiland could only shrug, "I can only counsel wisdom and the benefit of the doubt. Being at peace within one's self will help greatly with that, I believe, but I cannot say for certain. Let us start with Centre of Being and moving meditation as foundations, however."

 

[Salazar Niminen]

Salazar patiently listened to the Grandmaster as he finished his tea. He was upset on him denying him the skill of Crucitorn. Afterall, he once saw the skill in action by a Zabrakian Jedi on a mission. Although he was under the impression that it can be used by a Jedi, he still took respected the Grandmaster's wish. If he is denying it, there has to be a very good reason. Salazar thought that maybe he isn't ready yet. So, he understood the Grandmaster's reason & nodded once in respect when he denied to teach him the skill.

Salazar had read about the skills of Centre of Being & Moving Meditation. These were skills that even masters take years to perfect. He had a slight doubt. But he can't have such doubts. Afterall, he has been down lately. Such foundations will surely help him rise further. He finished his tea & kept the teapot at his side. He got up, readied himself & spoke firmly, "Where should I begin, Master? I will follow your lead."​

Tiland Kortun

 

[Tiland Kortun]

Salazar Niminen

Tiland watched the flickers of emotion in the facial expression of his unexpected student and kept a smile hidden beneath his beard. The other Jedi was clearly disappointed about not being able to learn crucitorn, but there was nothing he could do about that. Tiland simply didn't know the skill.

But the stepping up suddenly did amuse him further. It was natural to assume that they would be doing more, but when it came to teaching skills, it was best to start small.

In this case, with tea. At the question, Tiland simply gestured for him to sit back down. "We shall start where all things are best started- with the basics at the beginning. Do, please, sit back down."

He set out another collection of tea leaves. "In this case, with tea. Center of being, while also considered a lightsaber form, is more properly understood as a meditative state, one adjacent to the idea of moving meditation."

Tiland tapped the ground where he had set the tea materials. "And because moving meditation at the level to be used in a martial arts style is incredibly difficult, we start small, with the ritual of tea-making."

 

[Salazar Niminen]

Salazar took out a pouch from his bag, kept all his belongings in his body; his weapons, communicators & other distracting objects & sat in front of his master in Seiza stance. He closed his eyes & centered himself at the present moment. He opened his eyes with a smile, waiting for his master to show him how to perform the ritual.

Tiland sat in front of him in the same way, giving him an extra set of a bowl, a spoon, a whisk & a small piece of cloth. Salazar followed his steps. First pouring the boiling water slowly. Not a drop of water splashed outside the bowl. It fell as if it wanted to fall on the bowl. Then they took out a spoon of ground tea leaves from a pot kept aside, none took out too big a scoop nor too less. They didn't dip the spoon, just drop the ground tea leaves into the water, again without any rush, not a drop outside, and hit the spoon's neck onto the side of the bowl just once, slightly. They took up the whisk, & whisked the tea gently; together. Hitting the whisk gently onto the side of the bowl once they were done, they kept it aside upside down & they waited patiently for the water to cool down a bit. Both master & apprentice closed their eyes and kept breathing.

After a while, they gently opened their eyes & took up the bowl on their hand, rotating the bowl twice, they drank one sip at a time. Slowly, without any rush. After it was over, they took a bit of the warm water left into each of their bowls, gently rolling it onto its inner linings & gently rubbing it off using the cloth, then kept the bowls aside. Salazar sighed, "Thank you master, for teaching me such a noble act. I will never forget this ceremony of peace."

Tiland Kortun

 

[Tiland Kortun]

Salazar Niminen

Tiland guided Salazar through the process, making small corrections and adjustments in the process, until they reached the end. He nodded his head and smiled, this time full of mischief. "That was just the start. The goal is to maintain an empty, meditative mind that can instantly react to the Force at all times. Some would say it means splitting the mind into two sections, one to be meditating and one to consciously guide it but I disagree!"

He shook his head vehemently. "The goal is to become one with the Force, in harmony within one's self, the others around you, and the Force itself. How can that be done with two minds? It cannot!" He pointed his finger to emphasize the fact. "Like much of the Force, it is a paradox of tension that we must inhabit and learn to channel."

But he smiled and shook his head. "It is a great challenge though. Perhaps run through a lightsaber kata in a meditative state and assess how it feels and how deeply you feel you are meditating."