A Long Road Ahead

[Lanir Tyko]

Confusion. A state of mind so common for Lanir that it was practically his default emotion. Perhaps it was his fault; after all he had dozed off during the introductory meeting and spent more time talking to friends than listening to the trainer. Somehow, he had managed to survive. For some unknown reason,maybe a few too many shots at DB 94, the Council had decided to give him his own master.
His emotions too were in a state of confusion. He wavered between "about damn time" and "I am so screwed" constantly as he made his way to the front of the temple, where he would be meeting his new master. If he had paid any attention, maybe he might have known who his master was or if he was known for anything. The last thing he wanted was a strict master tthat, heaven forbid, wanted him to pay attention.

Of course, Lanir knew basics on lightsaber fighting and channeling the Force, and he had apprently scored quite well on his first test. However, he knew absolutely 0 lightsaber forms, and although he had a deep connection with the Force, he wasn't patient enough to explore it.

Turning the corner, he surveyed the crowd outside the temple, scanning to see if anyone was tapping their foot in agitation or looking like they were about to make a Wookiee Cookie out of someone.

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

There would be no-one tapping their foot, nor would there be anyone looking annoyed at his somewhat late appearance. In fact, no-one would seem to even notice the poor lad due to the hustle and bustle of either training or other circumstances, save for one person.

Thurion had known he would show up and that he would do so in his own time, for the mind of a teenager is easily distracted by the world around him. It seemed an eternity since he was at that same age where everything about oneself started to change - be it body or mind, or for better or worse. Times of war makes all who fight in it feel and seem older than they really are, and every battle fought adds a few years. That is, if you live to see more than one battle, in which case he was unsure whether to count oneself lucky.

But these were grim words for another time and place; for now Jedi Master Thurion Heavenshield would be found sat outside the Temple entrance, meditating and basking in the warm midday sun.

"Are you late for something, Padawan?" he'd ask him once within range to do so, keeping his eyes closed coupled with deep breaths. "I'm sure your master wouldn't mind spending a few more minutes enjoying the fine weather we're having, so don't even think about apologising."

[member="Lanir Tyko"]

 

[Lanir Tyko]

As he finished scanning the crowd, one figure stood out to him. Amid the bustlinf front of the temple one man stood out above the rest as a bastion of peace and medidation, like a lighthouse on the rocky shore of a tumultuous sea amidst a storm. That had to be his master. No one else could have that composure and presence.

Lanir tried not to pick up his pace as he altered his courde to where his master was waiting. If he was going to be late, he might as well pretend it was intentional. As he got closer he reached out with his mind, trying to use the Force to see if his master was meditating because he wanted inner peace, or whether he was attempting to quell thoughts of dismembering a tardy padawan. Unfortunately, his master had his thoughts guarded, probably as a precaution. It looked like it was time to face the music and get ready to bolt if need be.

"Are you late for something, Padawan?I'm sure your master wouldn't mind spending a few more minutes enjoying the fine weather we're having, so don't even think about apologising." Lanir jumped a little when his master spoke. He had expected to have to apologize first to his master and was planning on waiting in order to not interrupt his master's meditation. Despite being a padawan for seven years, he still wasn't used to people using the Force to detect his presence. Apparently he would have to adjust quickly.

His master's comment on the weather caused him to glance up. The weather was prettt good that day. The sun was beaming and the few clouds in the sky served as a splash of color against the pale sky. The temperature was lovely, just right for wearing the traditional robes that he had donned this morning. Taking a deep breath and praying his voice wouldn't crack, he took a breath and started to speak.

"Well I'm afraid I have disobeyed your first order already," he muttered. "I was planning on apologizing since before I even left my quarters. I guess putting on robes while still half asleep leads to a lot of problems." Of cours, his voice had to crack in the middle of the last word, and he scowled a bit. He had elected not to tell his master that he was actually late because he was reading an issue of Twi'leks Unleashed, a smutty holomag.

[member="Thurion Heavenshield"]

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

"Ah, well..." he said, opening his eyes as he rose to his feet. He dusted off his knees before regarding the young man standing before him. "Padawan Tyko... Lanir, is it?" he asked, more out of courtesy than anything else. He'd already been briefed by the Council about the boy upon being asked to take him on as his apprentice.

He bowed graciously as he introduced himself. "I am Thurion Heavenshield, Jedi Master and Shield of the Guardians..." He then took a step closer to look into his young eyes. "...and now I want you to forget about all that. Just 'Thurion' will do, from now on. Titles are good for ceremony and when pulling rank, both of which I am not overly fond of. Come", he said with his hand gesturing for Lanir to follow.

The pathway straight ahead would take them through the gardens to one of his preferred spots, where they would be alone. "Tell me of yourself, Lanir; where do you come from, how did you find your way here?"

[member="Lanir Tyko"]

 

[Lanir Tyko]

Heh. HeavenSHIELD. SHIELD of the Guardians. Heh. Lanir chuckled to himself as he thought over the pun. Maybe the Jedi Master had never noticed it, or maybe he didn't have the sense of humor to appreciate the circumstances. On the outside, he attempted to keep the composure that befitted any Jedi, padawan or not. At least the Jedi Master was more relaxed than he had expected. Once he heard the news that he was being trained by one of the best, if not the best, Jedi at the time, he had thought of some pompous Jedi nerf herder who lorded his superiority over everyone else. At the same time, he was deeply honored to be taught by such an amazing Jedi.

"I'm from Anaxes, actually. My family always expected me to be a military commander, and they were in for quite a shock when they discovered I was force sensitive. And by shock, I mean my father broke a chair over my back and hit me several times. Had to spend a couple days in the bacta chamber to mend the broken bones and skin. By the time I was out, he had calmed down somewhat and tried to be more encouraging of me wanting to become a Jedi. Even so, he wanted me to become a Guardian or Sentinel. I always thought that I would make a better consular. I've always been able to make friends and talk with people easily. Green's my favorite color too," Lanir said. He was walking a bit behind Master Thurion, giving the Jedi respect and trying not to get in his way.

"Anyway, when I was eight I was sent here to start my training. I scored pretty high on the scale for the Force, but my lightsaber skills have never been as good as my connection with the Force. All the other Padawans were learning forms and turning to doublesabers or using two sabers. I mostly wound up studying in the Library and meditating." It was true, his lightsaber skills were never that good. He had quick reflexes yes, but he lacked the conviction and focus during battle to wield a lightsaber well.

"Honestly, I don't know much about you," he said sheepishly. "How'd you become a Jedi?"

[member="Thurion Heavenshield"]

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

The elder listened to the words of the younger walking beside him, nodding sagely once he'd finished. He thought upon his answer for a moment as his mind went over what circumstances had led him to this day. His life was one of tragedy, of love and loss. He contemplated withholding some of the details, but came to the conclusion that honesty between master and apprentice was valued above all.

"I grew up an orphan on a planet called 'Pelagon', with my older brother as my only friend and caretaker. He raised me from infancy until we were taken in by the owner of an orphanage. We were happy, for a time. Then the orphanage was burned down along with all the other orphans inside, along with our caretaker. My brother and I did what we could to save them, but..." Thurion looked to his side at the young man, shaking his head.

"I was found in the ashes by a Jedi Knight. Asha Seren was her name, and I looked upon her as master and mother both. I loved her. I loved her so much that when she decided to leave the Order, I chose to follow, never once asking why. Since that day I've stayed away from the Republic and the Jedi Order, instead following a different path: that of the heart." He stopped and turned fully to his apprentice.

"I want to make one thing clear to you, Lanir: I want no heroics from you. People your age think they have so much to prove in the eyes of their elders that it sickens me. Your life means more to me than what brave deeds you manage to pull off on some battlefield, and I couldn't bear to bury one more son because of it." His hand touched the young man's shoulder as he stared him down with steely determination, his caring nature always present. "Do you understand, Padawan? I won't have you risk your life for me."

He awaited his answer, after which he would smile and tap the boy's shoulder for reassurance before resuming their walk.

[member="Lanir Tyko"]

 

[Lanir Tyko]

"For me, fighting is the last thing I want to do. My family has been responsible for millions of deaths across the galaxy through their perpetual war machine, fueled by anger, oiled by blood, and tempered in the fire of combat. My goal is to do what I can to prevent war and repair the path of destruction left by it. Broken bones can be set by anyone, but it takes someone special to mend broken minds and broken hearts." His voice rose as he talked about the doings of his family. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see the Jedi Master looking at him, concerned and yet smiling still. He must have said the right thing.

He was glad that his master had liked his answer. Most padawans had teased him about his pacifist attitude and his reluctance to use a lightsaber. Maybe they hadn't heard tales of the screams of dying men and the louder sobs of those watching them die. It didn't matter if you used a lightsaber or a blaster, whether you masqueraded as a beacon of hope and doer of good or murdered for the fun of it. Death was death no matter how you looked at it, and death was permanent. It didn't matter who was doing the killing, the light still faded from the victim's eyes and they still shuddered as they took their last breaths.

This is why Lanir chose to be a Consular. He would rather design peace then war. An evacuation plan would save more lives than a battle plan. Others would fight, he would help. Finally, he dragged himself out of the depths of his consciousness and spoke.

"So, where are we headed? Is this going to be training or just a guided tour?" he joked.

[member="Thurion Heavenshield"]

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

He was pleased to know he would not be training another warmonger, eager to hunt down evildoers and spill blood in 'the name of the Jedi', as so many thought of as their duty. The world was not black and white, for he had witnessed good and bad on both sides of the spectrum. The Light side was just as capable of doing wrong as the Dark side was of doing good. This was his philosophy, unsullied by the words of some Grandmaster or the actions of others. His personal code, one he would not force upon this young man beside him unless he wished to partake in it.

Thurion chuckled at the youngster's words. "There will be time for training, don't you worry. You've been here for some time, so I'd expect you to know the place by heart, by now", he replied, smiling. "There is a secluded spot further down this path that I've taken a liking to. We'll begin your training there."

They arrived at a fork in the road, at which they took a right. Then there came a stairway leading downwards made out of stone which lead to a clearing by a creek of running water, surrounded by trees and various forms of vegetation. There stood a wooden bench, carved out of the trunk of a tree supported by two stumps. "I come here often to meditate, to seek guidance. I find it relaxing", he told the lad following him down the stairs. Once they'd arrived at the scene, Thurion offered the boy a seat on the bench. "This is where we will conduct our training from now on. Sound good to you?"

[member="Lanir Tyko"]

 

[Lanir Tyko]

The beauty of the clearing was almost breathtaking. Immediately Lanir understood why the Jedi Master trained and meditated here. Although the conditions were only average for dueling with training sabers, it would be great for connecting with the Force. However, Lanir saw one problem that maybe the master could address.

"Although this clearing would be great for meditation, wouldn't it be wise to also meditate in busy areas and trying to use the Force when distractions are present?" he asked. He was mostly interested in developing a deeper connection with the Force, rather than being able to use a light saber. To him, the guardians were the thugs of the Order, and the true Jedi were the peacekeeping Consulars.

He knew that this spot would be great for his Force training of course. Along with serving as a diplomat and scholar, he wanted to be able to use the Force to heal flesh and soul. Deep down, he believed that even the darkest Sith could be saved. He also understood why he was placed with this master. Instead of a master who demanded him to fight, he was given a calmer and contemplative master.

Unfortinately, Lanir knew he had to learn how to use a lightsaber. Almost solely for defending himself if attacked, of course. Hopefully his master would understand.

[member="Thurion Heavenshield"]

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

He smiled at the eagerness of the young man. "Learn to find peace where peace is abundant first, and you will forever carry it with you to even the most unsavoury places", he spoke as he sat down next to him on the bench.

"I have no intention of turning young men and women into weapons, as it is their choice to make, not mine. All dream of fighting for the Light by meeting the forces of Darkness on the battlefied at some point in their lives, and so they zealously train to become great duelists. l'm sure during your early days as an initiate would meet many young boys and girls who wished to become great warriors. I was no different, but I had a master who knew to sway my mind from such thoughts early on. If what you say is true, and I have no reason to suspect otherwise, then we'll have no need to do so."

Thurion gazed at the creek, tracing the running water with his sapphire eyes. "People - well, humans, at least - are mostly made of water, which I'm sure you know after having spent so much time in the archives reading", he said, knowing full-well of the young man's interests in gathering knowledge. "Inside each of us there is a river or a creek, just like this one. When we get angry or frustrated, we become like a waterfall, roaring and untameable. When we're at peace we become a quiet pond, undisturbed and timeless. When we die, our river run out into the great ocean where so many rivers have gone before us." He turned to Lanir, making sure he had understood his words.

[member="Lanir Tyko"]

 

[Lanir Tyko]

Lanir nodded thoughtfully as he listened to the master's words. A creek. That was a new metaphor for him. He coukd understand it though. The only issue he could find with it was that the human body ranged from 50 to 65% water and usually stayed around 57-60%. It was a common misconception, however the brain was 70% water.


He was glad to hear that his own master was a peaceful person. Many padawans he was with seemed to lose sight of the ideals of the Order and had forsaken their duties to protect and instead looked to kill and make a name for themselves. To him, these padawans would never be Jedi, only thugs with lightsabers, only a tad better than a Sith.


He'd always imagined himself as being a calm and collected person, minus your usual teenage angst and the occasional outburst. He wasn't really an angry or aggressive person, just a teenager with the usual teenage problems: constant hunger, new hormones, a reconstructing frontal lobe, and being hornier than a Gamorreon during maiting season. Love and lust were dangerous for Jedi, and many before him had fallen because of it. They were deep emotions that should be cherished, but they had to be forsaken in times of turmoil.


"So how does this water inside of you look when you are troubled by something? Or when you're happy or in love?" he asked. "And what if happens to this water if someone fell to the Dark Side?"


[member="Thurion Heavenshield"]

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

"Well..." He thought for a moment, scratching his blonde beard. "When you're upset or troubled, the river turns into a stormy sea. When you fall to the Dark side, you wash up on the shore of a deserted island, alone and lost. And when you're in love..." he looked to the ground at his feet, smiling. "You'll know when you're in love. It's like nothing you've ever experienced before." He would leave it at that, as even he had trouble describing the sensation of loving someone and be loved in return.

"How do you feel about love, Lanir? Do you find it a mere hinderance, something that should be abolished entirely? Or do you welcome it, believing it can only strengthen you in the end?" he asked his apprentice, eyes scanning for what he would say before he said it.

[member="Lanir Tyko"]

 

[Lanir Tyko]

"Love is not a hindrance nor something to be followed blindly. I have never been in love, but I have seen the effect it has had on others. It is certainly dangerous, that is for sure. Almost as dangerous as anger or fear, simply because love can lead to those emotions. In a galaxy like this where nothing is certain, having someone to care for can be a burden and can cause you to make irrational decisions. On the other hand, it is a basic emotion that needs to be catered too; life is not lived without love in my opinion. Of course, you shouldn't take what I say with a grain of salt," Lanir said. "I know nothing of love and I'm decades younger than you are."

He thought carefully for a few seconds. The last thing he wanted to do is let any emotion corrupt him and his ideals; he wanted to stay true to himself at any cost. On the other hand, a vow of celibacy and drawing away from a critical emotion like love could be potentially just as harmful as the feelings of fear that came with love.

"I can open myself up to love," he said finally, "but I will do anything I can to prevent it from turning me to the dark side or corrupting me. Bringing peace is what I plan on doing, and sometimes that will require me to go to dangerous places, and I don't want someone else to have to worry about my well-being while I'm away."

[member="Thurion Heavenshield"]

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

"Fair enough", he said, nodding sagely. "Would it bother you to learn that I am a father? That I am romantically involved with another member of the Order? I have loved many people, and in most cases I still love them. I'd like to think I am loved in return." He rose to his feet, walked over to the creek and knelt down to wash his hands in the fresh water.

"I do not think love a corruptive emotion, nor a hinderance; the love I feel for so many is what keeps me from falling, keeps me on the path I see before me. I remember their faces and remind myself who I fight for, and why I do it. Without them I would have nothing to live for. I would defy death itself so I may return to them." He got back up on his feet and wiped his hands on his robes before returning to his padawan.

"Do not concern yourself with these things, Padawan. Love will find you eventually, and that day I pray you will embrace it rather than brush it aside, for I know well the joys it brings and would wish them upon you as well."

[member="Lanir Tyko"]

 

[Lanir Tyko]

"A father huh. Somehow, I can't imagine a Jedi Master such as yourself doing the badabing badaboom with another Jedi," Lanir teased. "I guess the Jedi who have loved and turned dark are the ones we are told of, not the ones, such as yourself, who use love to help them fight for a more noble cause. I would like to think that if I ever encounter someone I want to do the awoogah with, I treat my love like you do yours."

While he talked, Lanir idly flicked a pebble around with the Force, trying to see how many times he could get it to skip across the water. Seeing the ripples in the water from the skipping stone, he had an idea, which he shared with his master.

"So with this water metaphor, I take it the ripples in the water like this," he flicked the pebble across the water, watching it skip along and create ripples that radiated outwards in concentric circles. Then, he continued, "Are disturbances in your life or in the Force, and like how the water eventually becomes still again, you must learn how to overcome and deal with these disturbances and bring the Force, and yourself, peace again?"

[member="Thurion Heavenshield"]

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

"'Badabing badaboom', huh?" he thought, perking a brow. "She is not of my flesh and blood, she's adopted. An Umbaran girl I found scared and alone that I decided to take care of. And don't use those made-up words. It's unworthy of you."

He watched the pebble and listened to the boy's theory. "True, but then again: water is designed to find peace once disturbed - we are not. It is much more difficult for us to simply flip the switch; those who cannot would be easier to lure onto a darker path." With a wave of his hand the ripples in the water disappeared completely, with the pebble hovering just above water-level before soaring over to Lanir and landing in his palm.

"What do you see?" he asked him, referring to the pebble in his hand.

[member="Lanir Tyko"]

 

[Lanir Tyko]

"Hmm," Lanir hummed thoughtfully as he stared at the pebble. The water metaphor had been easy for him to understand, and the Jedi Master had lead into the subject. It appeared that he was going to have to say something profound about the pebble and the human nature. He thought for a couple more seconds before speaking, trying to choose his words carefully.

"I see the good inside of all beings. Everyone starts out with a heart full of good; good intentions, good feelings, and good morals. However, over time this goodness can be eroded, slowly shrinking the goodness until one day," he said as he crushed the pebble, "it's gone. Unlike some, I do think you can get to a point where nothing can be done to save you. Enough suffering, fear, and anger, and you can't come back, even if you tried. Just like how the erosion of a pebble cannot be reversed, so too the loss of good in the heart. No matter how hard you try, you can never get back to your original self. Indeed the mind of the infant is the mind that is good. Your experiences and life will erode that goodness little by little and you aren't going back."

He sat for a second, rather satisfied with his little speech. Of course, he had no idea what the wise Jedi next to him thought of it, and as far as he knew the Jedi could be rolling with laughter inside of his head, but there was no way he could parse anything from the face before him.

[member="Thurion Heavenshield"]

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

Thurion nodded, smiling. Then he nudged his elbow against Lanir's arm, looking very amused. "It's just a pebble", he chuckled. "Ah, but I jest", he then said while regaining his composure. He bent over to pick up another pebble, letting it sit in the middle of his open palm.

"What I think about when I look upon this tiny pebble, is how it has stood the test of time; it may have been here for thousands of years, just sitting and awaiting the end times in peace. Nothing may ever disturb a rock. They are constant, ever present and will be there long after we're gone. I look upon it with respect and admiration because of these reasons, as I try to do with all things I encounter, be they beast or inanimate objects. We all have a purpose to serve in life, some of which are noble and altruistic, while others are what could easily be considered vile and irredeemable."

He flicked the pebble into the creek, watching it be carried away with the mild current before turning to his padawan. "The world is never just black and white - remember this", he told him, placing a hand atop Lanir's shoulder.

[member="Lanir Tyko"]

 

[Lanir Tyko]

"Just an old pebble huh? That's like saying you're just an old man," Lanir joked. The Jedi Master certainly had a sense of humor, wry as it may be. There was truth in the words he spoke however. Nothing was black or white, an ironic statement to say the least. By saying their are no absolutes using an absolute phrase, that was interesting.

He had seen what appeared to be black and white while going through the records at the Library. Some Sith Lords were the epitamy of evil, or at least the records reflected this statement. Of course, he couldn't take the records too seriously, after all they were written by Jedi, and therefore any Sith would be painted in a bad light, just like any Jedi only in good light. He hoped to be truly on one side of the spectrum, white of course.

Just then, his stomach emitted a loud growling, singing the song so well rehearsed by the stomachs of teenagers galaxy wide. This must have meant it had been a couple hours since he last chowed down. Luckily, he had planned ahead and brought lots of food. He quickly unwrapped a ration bar and started chowing down. Trying not to be rude, he waved one at the Jedi Master.

"Want one?" he asked through a mouth full of food. "Jedi masters have to eat sometime. The Force can't sustain you forever." He smiled wryly as he opened up his second ration bar and dug in.

[member="Thurion Heavenshield"]

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

"'Old man'? I'll have you know, I'm only a decade older than you, my friend", he replied chuckling. As the young man offered him the ration bar, he respectfully declined. Instead, with a subtle wave of his hand, one of the fruits from a nearby tree broke loose and hovered over to him, fitting perfectly in his palm.

He promptly took a bite out of it, and immediately his thoughts went back to his childhood when he'd offer his umbaran friend Kära the same type of fruit, back on Coruscant. The memories of his younger days coupled with the sweet taste of the fruit put a bright smile on his face.

"I don't suppose you thought your training to be different from this? More practise and less sitting around sharing philosofies?"

[member="Lanir Tyko"]