Private A Memorable Visit

[Balun Dashiell]

The Renewed Jedi Temple of Coruscant
Teynara Jeralyr

Months after the Jedi Temple on Coruscant was rebuilt, Balun Vale undertook a poignant journey from the Tingel Arm to his former home, the Jedi Temple. His return was not just a physical journey, but a deeply emotional one, filled with memories and reflections.

The S-91x Pegasus had landed within the local spaceport on the upper level, choosing best to use the Starfighter given that the Liberty's Edge had yet to be outfitted with counterfeit identification. While Iona Starchaser , his friend and co-pilot, did have the means, they first required the credits, and so bringing the stolen Heavy Freighter to the heart of the Galaxy didn't seem such a stellar idea just yet.

Returning to Coruscant was daunting enough. Balun hadn't visited the New Jedi Order since he had fought during the invasion of the Dark Empire. The attack had devastated Coruscant, and the young rogue had spent many a sleepless night trying to recover from the traumatic battle. Perhaps he had been avoiding a return because of the feelings he harboured. He had been a foundling of the New Jedi Order, resented the fact, but loved that they took him in despite how difficult he had been in his younger years. He had left to make his own life but returned at the first hint of trouble. When all was said and done, he had left for the Outer Rim Territories and dedicated himself to serving with the Tingel Arm Coalition alongside other former New Jedi Order members like Jasper Kai'el ...-But he hadn't forgotten his former life on Coruscant, nor indeed cut ties with those who had raised him and taught him so much.

Walking up the steps to the front of the Temple, the massive structure looming over him, his eyes looked to the eight vast pillars depicting Jedi figures watching over those who sought entrance. The sight caused Balun to take a breath before walking beneath them towards the Temple entrance. The young Rogue Jedi wore his field apparel, a familiar sight for the Outer Rim Force User, a blend of Jedi garb and Mercenary leather, fixed with several plated components for more appearance than functional protection.

As Balun approached the Temple, the familiar faces of the Temple Guard greeted him. They recognized him not just as a former member, but as a friend who had returned after a long absence. Their warm reception was a testament to the strong bonds that had been formed within the Order.

As if little had changed since the attack, the Temple once again bustled with life, teeming with all types of peoples and most importantly, the majority of them appearing to be Jedi. The sight was heart warming. A relief to be sure. To see that the New Jedi Order could thrive after such a hard-fought victory against the Dark Empire. Balun couldn't see any of his old friends yet, but as he continued down one of the many corridors, he decided to head for the training wing, a common place for his past friends to spar and compete to outshine one another in the saber arts.

 

[Teynara Jeralyr]

| Balun Dashiell |​

Now that the Coruscant Temple was starting to look in more of a habitable state, things had started returning to normal – or, at least, as normal as things ever got within a Jedi Temple. Which isn't particularly much, now I come to think of it. Although she'd been with the Jedi for some time now, there was something about their enclaves which struck her as almost too sterile, an artificiality that simply wouldn't survive contact with the wider world. Here, it's always quiet and peaceful, where you can sit and study in silence all day and nobody would think anything of it. That just didn't match up with the chaos that she knew existed beyond these walls – and, indeed, that they'd all been witness to in the aftermath of the attack that had required the Temple to be put back together in the first place.

Still, now everything had settled into the usual routine of Jedi life: waking up early, grabbing some stimcaf, a quick shower and fresh robes, then initial exercises to warm up and prepare both mind and body for training, perhaps with a little meditation if it was needed. There were always classes and seminars, along with the usual chores that needed to be done. And you wouldn't think this place had needed rebuilding at all, now that we've fallen back into those familiar patterns. It was a broad testament to the resilience of the Jedi that such a thing was possible...but it also spoke to a possible stagnation that unsettled her slightly. Everything changed in a heartbeat, and yet everything stays the same now.

For the moment, the blonde woman found herself in the training wing – the section of the Temple largely given over to sparring dojos and exercise rooms, since physical training was considered just as important as the mental and emotional education they were expected to undertake. Oddly enough, it also seemed to be considered one of the more recreational areas of the Temple: you could find students here pretty much all hours of the day (including those times when everyone was supposed to be tucked-up in bed!), largely because most of them found sparring sessions to be a good way to blow off steam or simply push their limits – and it ended up being so that there were a handful of students who only ever thought about their lightsabers, much to her amusement.

Although there were some private rooms, closed off with the durasteel doors that existed to provide the illusion of being segregated off from the main Temple, there were also several that were built with transparisteel walls to allow for others beyond to observe what was going on, so that Jedi could spar within and be watched by their teachers and peers from a position of relative safety. If you didn't want to be particularly social or engage in the manic battles on the dojo floors, you could always watch from up here, keeping to yourself and simply observing in silence – which is what Teynara found herself doing now that she had a few moments to herself where she wasn't having to adhere to the manic schedule she so often had to follow.

Hearing the large double doors opening nearby, the young woman half-turned to see who had decided to join the madness that always characterised the training wing, taking her eyes momentarily away from the flurry of flashing blades that she could see on the floor of the room she had been observing. Though it wasn't unusual to see Jedi entering the wing at all times of the day...most of them didn't present quite like the newest arrival. He was about her height, perhaps slightly taller, but he looked bulkier as a consequence of the strange garb he wore: white robes that were transitioning to a faded grey colour, normal enough, but combined with various pieces of gear that made him look as if he'd accidentally walked through the Temple armoury and emerged covered in mis-matched pieces that didn't give him full-body coverage. Part monk, part tank, by the looks of it, she thought in amusement.

"You're a little late for the battle," she remarked with a faint smile curving her lips, offering a mildly-ironic bow of her head as the doors closed behind the new arrival. Since she wasn't certain of his rank, it wasn't possible to know if she needed the deeper bow used when addressing a Master, so she gambled with a cautious genuflection, the type exchanged between equals. "Although, dressed like that, perhaps you're planning to start another one?"

 

[Balun Dashiell]

"You're a little late for the battle, although, dressed like that, perhaps you're planning to start another one?"

Entering the observation room overlooking the dojo below, Balun Vale would be greeted by an unfamiliar face. Teynara Jeralyr looked every part the Jedi, young, or at least closer in age to him, to assume she was one of the Students of the New Jedi Order; Balun offered a faint smile as he approached to stand alongside her and looked to those sparring below.

"Unfortunately, I didn't miss it; I was there for the whole thing" he replied softly, soon turning to make eye contact with her this time and explaining the reason for his choice of apparel; "I'm visiting from the Tingel Arm. I used to be a Padawan Learner here, but no longer. Things aren't exactly as quiet back where I've come from" he shrugged his right shoulder and offered another smile as if to discourage any possible concern from his remarks.

"My name's Balun," he turned as he introduced himself, extending his right hand to offer a handshake, a show of respect, and a polite greeting. "I've only been gone a couple of years, but I don't think we've met before. Not that I can remember anyway," he expressed. It was very likely they may have shared classes, and he, being as self-isolating as he was, could very much have simply forgotten.

Despite his rough-looking getup, Balun spoke with ease and was typically a pretty open sort of person. His words were casual, if not juvenile at times and he didn't harbor a clinical way of articulating himself like some of the seemingly more educated or intelligent Jedi did. Although the Masters of the New Jedi Order might have felt differently about him, to those of their age group, Balun was friendly and wore his heart on his sleeve with regards to those around him. Teynara would likely notice his sense of ease, shoulders relaxed despite being an outsider to the Order nowadays, he would appear comfortable and at home in the Temple.

 

[Teynara Jeralyr]

| Balun Dashiell |​

The young man was certainly more polite than his militaristic garb would have suggested – whilst he looked ready for battle, he spoke with the practiced polish of a courtier, no doubt just as at home among the wealthy and powerful as he would be in a lightsaber duel – though it was hard to say which of the two would prove deadlier, on reflection. And it was clear enough from his mannerisms that he was also just at home here, far more at his ease than Teynara herself had ever felt. Clearly he's been a Jedi for some time, judging by that "used to be a Padawan Learner" bit. It made all the sense in the world that he wouldn't feel out of place here.

Although he offered her his hand by way of greeting, she knew from having it drilled into her by the Temple's teachers that this wouldn't do: one bowed to Jedi Knights and Masters as a student, this being more appropriate, so she ended up bowing over his hand, her eyes momentarily on the floor, hands by her sides, back straight. It still took some getting used to, being such an archaic means of exchanging respect, but there was something charmingly ritualistic about it, particularly since it was something rarely used beyond the ranks of the Jedi.

"A pleasure to meet you, Master Balun," she said softly as she straightened, a ghost of a smile on her lips indicating her amusement at the mismatch of greetings. Just doing as I've been instructed! It was a mischievous thing to do, but her read on him suggested he might understand the impulse there. "I'm Teynara, though most people call me 'Tey', for simplicity's sake. Less formal, too," the young woman added, her smile becoming slightly broader at that, given that she'd embraced the formalities just a moment before.

"I can't say I've ever been to the Tingel Arm. And your appearance doesn't do much to recommend a visit any time soon," she said with a touch of laughter in her voice. Studying with the Jedi had made her aware that much of the galaxy was a conflicted, hostile place, even though that seemed wholly at odds with the peace and quiet that was typical of Jedi Temples (at least outside the training wing!), so it was sometimes hard to imagine. Less so when you've got yourself an armoured tank of a man standing right there, though. "Hopefully you can relax a little more here, rather than diving into your duties too much."

That being said...Tey had never gotten the impression that Jedi had much in the way of free time. There was always more studying to be done – as Master Valery had made clear on their first meeting – and then there was the typical bureaucracy: research on assignments, reports to be filed, lesson plans to be put together, mission briefings to attend...apparently it never really ended. And I imagine it's worse still when you've got students to instruct, along with everything else. The Jedi life certainly didn't suit the lazy – and it was clear enough from looking at Balun that he certainly couldn't be considered that.

Luckily students usually had a little more time on their hands – as demonstrated by her presence in the training wing, observing rather than participating – but even that was often not the case. But part of spending time in here is to get a break from all the classes and work we have to do the rest of the time. No doubt Balun had dropped in for much the same reason, to find respite from his work, and to simply enjoy a peaceful moment watching lightsaber-wielding students dancing up and down the training mats in a flurry of light.

"You don't have to worry – we haven't met before," the Padawan continued, taking a moment to brush her hands against the grey skirts of her outfit, smoothing a few wrinkles that had appeared there. "I'm a fairly new addition to the Order. Apparently most Jedi start a lot younger – as you must have done – but I'm told I'm lucky enough that the Jedi accept older applicants nowadays." The smile that had been there a moment ago smoothed out a little as her face relaxed into a slightly more serious expression. "It honestly sounded a little like the Jedi used to indoctrinate children to their ways rather than try to persuade adults of them. Didn't exactly recommend them, at first!"

Still, it was clear enough that such a thing had been a consequence of the very limited number of those capable of touching the Force that were born each year – and, or so the Masters had explained it, to make sure that nobody who could do so would end up abusing their capabilities. Which makes sense – having us running around abusing our powers for our own gain would be a horrifying thing indeed. Perhaps that was the sort of thing that Balun was having to deal with out in the Tingel Arm: protecting others from the actions of those abusing their gifts to the detriment of those who lacked them.

"Still, I'm left to wonder: what brings you back here, if you're so busy out in the broader galaxy?"

 

[Balun Dashiell]

Balun's brows lifted a little as Teynara Jeralyr offered him a respectful bow instead of accepting his handshake, and his lips pursed in a cynical sort of way while her gaze was aimed at the floor. Anyone who truly knew Balun would have known to expect an eye-roll at such a gesture. However, Teynara did not know him at all, and thus, he chose to refrain from making too judgemental a comment.

What's more, she had greeted him by the title of Master, an absurd and yet equally complimentary gesture, to which he laughed softly in response. "Please, it's just Balun...-Or Bale for those of my friends," he replied softly, trying to stifle his amusement. "I'm no Master. I left the Jedi Order before I was apprenticed, my own choice, of course" he told her, not wanting her to get the wrong impression of him.

"I guess you could say I'm what some consider a Jedi gone rogue. Personally, I think it makes me sound much worse than simply being an independent Force User, but yes I was a foundling here on Coruscant. Given to the Jedi when I was a baby. I share the ethics taught by the Jedi, but I go where I please, and my helping others isn't hindered by rules and processes," Balun elaborated with an ease of speaking that only came when someone's guard was lowered. Frankly, he was proud to be operating independently of the New Jedi Order, although not out of spite or bias towards the Jedi at all, but because he finally felt like he was in control of his life.

"You'll probably get a different opinion from your tutors, though; I wasn't exactly the easiest student for them,", he said and soon grinned, turning thereafter to gaze down over the sparring students. Back when he had lived there in the Temple, Balun had made such a fuss over lightsaber sparring, arguing with his tutors that it was a waste of time to be senselessly fighting their peers, potentially causing injury; How his younger self would grimace in knowing just how capable he had become within the mere two years.

"I'm glad they don't force younglings into the Jedi life anymore like they used to. I always resented the fact that it wasn't a choice I was given but one that was forced on me" he soon replied as Teynara had spoken of the indoctrination of children; "Although it wasn't the New Jedi Order taking me, but someone leaving me on their doorstep. Or so I'm told". Frankly, had the decision to become a Jedi have been his, he would probably have stayed with the New Jedi Order. They were, after all, the largest and most capable congregation of Jedi in the Galaxy today, backed by the Galactic Alliance.

"As for why I'm back...-Before the Imps attacked Coruscant, I would visit my friends every now and then. I haven't checked in with them since the Empire invaded though. I figured it was about time I stopped in" he answered. The Invasion of Coruscant had been traumatic for him, although he didn't allow it to show while talking with Teynara. There had been many sleepless nights to follow, and what little sleep he had gotten had been plagued with chaotic memories of that horrible day. "Despite leaving the Order, I'll still always have their back" he added with a sense of confidence behind the concluding words.

 

[Teynara Jeralyr]

| Balun Dashiell |​

Not a Master? Oops. Bad assumption there, Tey. The young woman felt slightly embarrassed by her clear error, her pale cheeks flushing slightly at the fact, her eyes dropping momentarily as she reflected on the stupidity of it. Too quick to come to a conclusion on insufficient data there, blondie. It was a bad habit of hers, she knew, but normally she could get away with it. Being called out on the fact so shortly after meeting someone new...yes, she definitely felt chagrin there. Still, he was courteous enough to laugh it off rather than to berate her for it, so that was something.

She'd not heard of a "rogue Jedi" before. Fallen ones, certainly – Valery had introduced her to that concept, as odd as it had sounded at the time. The idea that someone might train and simply step away from the Order, going their own way rather than the one determined by their training and duty...very odd. But is it a more honest pathway, to make such a choice? She couldn't be sure if she thought that Balun was brave or just foolish – and, as with most things, the answer was probably a little of both. Although it sounds like he's still acting like a Jedi, just in a way that has diverged from the traditional approach...somehow. She couldn't be sure exactly what that was supposed to look like, but she was still getting a fair idea of what it meant to be a Jedi in the first place. I've no idea what you're supposed to be having moved away from that.

"You're the first Jedi I've met that's stepped away from the Order," she remarked, raising her head to look at him with a bold, appraising glance, her previous embarrassment fading as she thought through the implications of what he'd said. "It must have upset people, to have them spend that time training you and then watching you walk away," she added, though there was no sense of annoyance in her tone, more a mild curiousity. "Though they talk a lot about destiny and fate around here...so perhaps all you're doing is following yours."

In truth, she wasn't certain how she felt about all of that – this notion that 'the Force' somehow had a plan for everybody, and that those capable of feeling and even manipulating it were a big important part of that. Sometimes it almost sounds as if the Jedi are looking for us to be extra-special, beyond being who we are. She'd seen that before: people of particular gifts deciding that it meant that they were meant for a life beyond that of an ordinary person. It sometimes felt like hubris – but so too was her cynicism. After all, they may have more understanding of such things than I do. How can you judge?

Beyond that, though...Balun had been here for the attack, the one that had left the Temple they were now standing in damaged and in disarray. Not to mention the cost of lives, of course. He'd spoken of it in a remarkably calm voice, almost as if it hadn't been a violent, chaotic strike. So, he's good at hiding his emotions. Balun had clearly gotten far through his training if he could do that effectively – there was no way he'd been present during the attack and had come out unaffected. So he can only be shielding others from whatever trauma he suffered. She'd seen that plenty of times before, too.

"I wasn't here when the attack took place," the young woman exclaimed, bringing her hands together and folding them within the sleeves of her long tunic, concealing them before her. "I came in with the first wave of relief efforts, from New Cov. Master Valery had me starting my studies there, but when we learned about the attack...well, we got here as quickly as we could. Not quickly enough to help with the battle, though." Probably just as well, since the extent of my combat training is all basic hand-to-hand. "I can't imagine what it was like to be here at the time."

That Balun had come to support his fellow Jedi despite no longer being counted among their numbers...that spoke of a fair amount of character. Though he's carrying a lot of resentment over how he came to be here in the first place, Tey noted to herself. Small wonder he struggled with training. The Masters had made it clear that unresolved emotional conflicts were a barrier to understanding – and certainly of the sort that was best avoided in the future, too. Though we're only sentient, so that's never going to be easy. That was okay, though: the Jedi Way wasn't supposed to be easy, or so they said. Nothing worth doing ever is.

"You must be glad at least to know that everyone's safe," she remarked, continuing her calm appraisal of the young man. Amusingly, they were roughly the same height, though the armour he wore bulked out a frame that was perhaps similarly slender. His eyes spoke of an intensity that seemed uncommon among the Jedi, as if he were just bursting to jump into action, even in a moment of stillness. Despite that, he seemed the solid type: duracrete foundations, immovable except when he wished to move. Dangerous combination, I think. "Does this mean you'll be returning to Tingel before long?"

 

[Balun Dashiell]

"You're the first Jedi I've met that's stepped away from the Order. It must have upset people, to have them spend that time training you and then watching you walk away,"

Only two people knew about his plan the day that Balun slipped away. Valery Noble and Nouqai Veil . The first was perhaps the only adult who had gained Balun's respect and admiration; despite being a hot-headed and resistant teenager, Valery's insistent compassion had eventually won him over. Nouqai, on the other hand, had been his best friend since they were very young, growing up together since their first year in the New Jedi Order. She was, still to this day, the one person that Balun trusted without question.

"I was a difficult kid. I doubt any of my tutors were surprised or disappointed when they learned I had left the Temple. The few friends that I had, well, they asked me why I did it, but they haven't given me any grief about it since. Maybe they saw it coming" he shrugged, offering a slight smile to ease the conversation.

"As for Destiny, I'm not sure I believe in any of that. I didn't feel as though I was able to decide my own life for myself until I left the Jedi. Since then, I've been doing what I feel is right. I don't feel like I've been led or destined in any way," he added. Philosophy and theories behind the Force never came easy to him. His one natural affinity seemed to shine brightest when roaming the wilderness of the world's most unlike Coruscant, although that could be put down to his love of nature in general.

"I wasn't here when the attack took place. I came in with the first wave of relief efforts from New Cov. Master Valery had me starting my studies there, but when we learned about the attack...well, we got here as quickly as we could. Not quickly enough to help with the battle, though. I can't imagine what it was like to be here at the time."

"Honestly, I'd be glad you missed seeing it. The New Jedi Order had evacuated the younglings and those who couldn't fight, but it was still a nightmare. It wasn't like sparring one-on-one. Every opponent would prove exhausting and when they were beaten, you'd turn to the next to start all over again with no end to the fighting in sight. I've never experienced anything like it, not before nor since then" Balun answered her, his voice having seemingly dried up as he recalled the violent gauntlet that the Dark Empire had thrust upon the heart of the Galaxy. "It's a miracle I survived, frankly. There were far greater Jedi than I who did not" he concluded with a frown, turning back to look down upon the students still sparring one another.

Returning to the Tingel Arm Coalition was the plan, though when that would occur was still undecided. "It depends if I'm approved to spend the night here; otherwise, I'll sleep on my ship. I still want to catch up with a couple of Jedi before I leave, and I only just arrived, so..." He lifted his head and exhaled slowly. His shoulders fell somewhat, as though to temporarily relieve him of the burden of his memories. "This place offers a peace most in the Outer Rim Territories can only imagine. I want to stay and rest if the Council permits it".

Teynara Jeralyr

 

[Teynara Jeralyr]

| Balun Dashiell |​

In some respects, Teynara could imagine that Balun's way of life was quite a liberating one – directing his own compass, to go where he wanted, to do what he wanted, and to serve in whatever ways he thought best. No assignments, no obligations to adhere to, fewer protocols that have to be observed. If he didn't feel like pursuing a particular course...he didn't have to. It sounds like freedom. But with that, she suspected, also came the lack of any support or structure: he didn't have anything he could fall back on, and if things went wrong, it would be his responsibility alone. And, of course, knowing which way to go without the guidance of your teachers, friends or superiors must be difficult.

Somehow she got the impression that Balun might well be the loneliest person she had ever met. How could he be otherwise, living as he did?

That he had been difficult to train probably explained a lot – if he was the sort of person who struggled under rules and structure, it would only make sense that he would have difficulty aligning with the goals of the Jedi Order. Adherence to hierarchy and routine can all be tricky if you're particularly independent-minded, and simply wish to go where the wind takes you. Although she knew she preferred that sort of life, it must have been torture for someone like Balun. She just hoped that his teachers and Masters had understood why he was the way that he was, and accepted his choices, even if they were different to those they would have made in the same circumstances. Worrying that they might not would make you feel even more alone, wouldn't it?

"Despite everything, it sounds like you've overcome quite some adversity in your time," she remarked, thinking both of his departure from the Jedi Order and of his participation in the recent battle that had been fought here. "Your Masters might not have agreed with your choices in leaving, but I doubt they have any cause to complain about how you turned out as a result of it." After all, as he said, Balun had survived things that trained Jedi had not – and that likely required no small amount of luck and resilience. "It sounds like you ought to stay longer than the one night, though", she continued, reflecting on the idea that he might suddenly leave one battlefield and dive straight into another. "You need to recuperate emotionally as well as physically, you know."

That was the problem with some of the Jedi, she'd noticed: they only seemed to worry about injuries and scars on the outside, and threw themselves into situation after situation without necessarily considering what it would do to them on a psychological level. Strain and trauma take a toll beyond merely what we can see, she noted inwardly. You do something about it, or it'll get to you eventually. Perhaps that was what Master Valery had meant when she spoke of "fallen Jedi": those who had been pushed towards and perhaps beyond their limits, such that they could no longer think straight, and strayed off the Jedi path as a result. Balun's not one of those, at least not yet.

"Sleep and respite sound better than jumping off back into the middle of conflict and trouble," the blonde student observed with her usual lilting cadence. "And you're not going to find a better place for either one than at a Jedi Temple." She gestured around them – although the training wing was usually plenty chaotic and far less tranquil than the rest of the facility, it was still considerably calmer than would be true of the world beyond these walls. "Why in such a hurry to get back out there?"

 

[Balun Dashiell]

"Despite everything, it sounds like you've overcome quite some adversity in your time, your Masters might not have agreed with your choices in leaving, but I doubt they have any cause to complain about how you turned out as a result of it. It sounds like you ought to stay longer than the one night, though. You need to recuperate emotionally as well as physically, you know."

"I hope not. I like to think that I'm doing a good job out there. Trying to help others like the Jedi do" Balun smiled back at Teynara Jeralyr . The thought of staying longer was a pleasant prospect. Though he wasn't sure how the Council would feel about it given the way he had left the New Jedi Order, for most it seemingly being out of the blue.

"The Temple here was always peaceful. Almost blinding to the rest of the Galaxy out there," he added, looking back two the two students sparring together. It was easy to recall just how placid life seemed within the Temple, minds focused solely on training and improving in body, mind and spirit. In a way, it felt disconnected from the real world out there. Balun hadn't felt like he had experienced life until he had struck it out alone.

"I'm part of a new government that recently formed in the Outer Rim, the Tingel Arm Coalition", he told her, explaining the reason for his need to get back out there; "Well...-Less government and more of a rebel outfit trying to keep the Empire of the Lost from doing real harm out there. There's also the Sith Order, which isn't too far from them; everyone knows about their reputation. The Coalition needs all the help it can get, so I volunteered".

 

[Teynara Jeralyr]

| Balun Dashiell |​

For a moment, Teynara didn't say a word, turning as Balun had to watch two students sparring away on the floor below them. It was difficult to keep up with the pace of movement, the way they engaged both bodies and blade in a way designed to both keep themselves protected whilst hunting for that illusive opening that would allow them to score a hit. Half the time, she wasn't really sure what she was looking at – the students just moved with a grace, confidence and speed that was both daunting and hard to wholly interpret. It was a dejarik game being played out in real time, both body and mind engaged in search of victory. The Masters did say that our combat training was where our training would really blend, as we brought everything into play at once. Your physicality, your observational skills, your understanding of the Force, all together.

In some respects, that was why she spent time down here in the first place: with still being new to training, she was always looking for those elusive pieces of the puzzle that would help her place everything into focus, perhaps into context. It all felt so...theoretical for the moment, abstract such that she knew there were applications, she just hadn't quite gotten to the point of applying it all. For now, it was just a mental exercise, and watching the more advanced students train just gave her a sense of what might be next to come.

"It honestly sounds to me like you're still a Jedi, Balun," the young woman said to one side, not turning to look at him, but clearly intending that he should hear her. "You still serve and do your duty, even if you're not necessarily part of the Order's structure anymore." In truth, it sounded to her that he was living much as Jedi on assignment did: operating out in the field, doing their best to be of service to others, and continuing to work with the Force in the way that the Jedi required of them. "The Council might not countenance what you're doing, but I still think they find your presence valuable on some level." She turned her head and flashed him a wry smile for a moment. "They probably wouldn't have let you back into the Temple otherwise."

Master Valery had told her that the Jedi used to be very different to how they were now: more structured, more rigid, more hierarchical. Everyone knowing their place and being comfortable with it, even though there were no doubt strains and stresses as a consequence of it – it was rare to find a group of people who were wholly satisfied with their lives at any given time, after all. She knew that there had been schisms and disassociations over the centuries, though, and it meant that the Jedi Order was a much different animal to the one it had once been – now it was a little more relaxed, less strict with the rules. At least, until you go ahead and do something you've been strictly told not to. Then they didn't seem less strict at all!

Balun's presence was pretty indicative of those new freedoms, though – she doubted that the Jedi of old would have been so tolerant. Valery had spoken of those Jedi who had abandoned their vows and moved on to lead lives of their own – but they had done so whilst being monitored by the Order, to make sure they didn't do anything that might raise a red flag. Living in peace was fine, even using their powers was fine provided they did so for good reasons, but any abuse of those abilities, or moves that might be considered selfish or dangerous to others...that's when you'd get a visit from the Jedi to rein you in.

"Either way, it's still service, isn't it? Whether to the Galactic Alliance, or to some other political entity...it's about the people you help and the good that you do, surely?" The whole point of the Jedi being part of the GA was to preserve civilisation, and do the most good for the most people – or so she understood. I imagine if your Tingel Arm Coalition was bigger than the GA, that's where the Jedi Order would be, she thought with a touch of amusement. "You don't have to call yourself a Jedi to act like one, and it sounds like that's what you're doing."

 

[Balun Dashiell]

"I would like to think so, although I'm not certain everyone would agree," Balun thoughtfully replied to Teynara Jeralyr .

He had recently discussed his current endeavours and whether they aligned with the Jedi Path with Iona Starchaser , someone whose opinion had come to matter more to him than most others. He had understood where she had been coming from, and perhaps that was why guilt stemmed from that conversation. Thankfully, she wasn't the type to argue her point and was very considerate in how she expressed her views.

"My involvement with the Tingel Arm Coalition could be viewed as too aggressive. The Coalition is a Rebellion against the Imperial Forces in the Outer Rim Territories. It means resorting to guerrilla tactics to try and alleviate the burden they put on other worlds" he explained. The Tingel Arm Coalition was much smaller than the Empire of the Lost in number and firepower. They had been trying to bolster their numbers by bringing aid to the people who felt oppressed and were seeking to revolt against imperial decree.

"I haven't killed anyone yet, thank the Force", he added, glancing to his side where Teynara stood; "Like the Jedi, I fight to help others so that they don't have to. I dread the idea of having to take someone's life, but I can't help but think that it's going to happen sooner or later if I keep going down this road. I'm not sure how the Jedi deal with that kind of guilt, given how others here in the Order have been forced to kill in the past".

He had heard many stories during his fifteen years growing up in the Jedi Temple. Older students who had gone out on field assignments and wound up in dangerous or violent situations forcing them to have to fight their way out. It was unfortunately frequent for Jedi to engage in combat, a fact that Initiates and Padawan were trained hard for before receiving the approval to participate in field missions.

"Have you had much experience out there?" He soon asked, curious to know whether Teynara understood his concern and uncertainty.

 

[Teynara Jeralyr]

| Balun Dashiell |​

Viewed as too aggressive? That definitely sounds like something a Jedi would say, Teynara thought with some amusement. It had always felt odd to her that the Jedi could fight – much as several of the students were doing now down in the training room below them – and yet preach a philosophy of non-aggression. Violence, they said, was only to be used in circumstances where lives were at stake, and only then against the violent. And yet, sometimes, that'd be us, surely? She understood the idea of force sometimes being required to counteract force, but even so, it struck her as mildly hypocritical, particularly since so many Jedi spent their lives preparing for a battle they might not ever have to fight.

Balun struck her as a walking exemplar of this strange dichotomy between violence and non-violence: his words suggested that he was clearly trying to do the right thing by being willing and able to fight, and yet, that he hadn't taken a life and obviously didn't want to left her thinking how much the Jedi were willing to sacrifice to help others in need – or, as Balun said, to protect those who couldn't protect themselves. To lose your life seems sacrifice enough, but he seems willing to give up even his principles to protect another. If you didn't want to kill, and yet accepted that you would have to do so...what toll would such a price exact on you?

He was right, though – how did you get past the guilt of having taken a life in a situation like that? She knew you could engage in some level of depersonalisation, pretend that the other person had deserved it, or that their actions had brought them to that end, so you weren't really responsible for it...but that sounded like an evasion to her. The only sensible thing to do would be to accept responsibility for it, acknowledge what you'd done, but keep in mind why you'd gone to that length. At the end of the day...that he didn't want to take a life suggested that, if and when that time came, it wouldn't be by choice. It would come solely because his only other options were to place others (and himself!) at risk – and any rational person would sooner take the lesser evil there.

"I haven't had any of the experiences you speak of," she remarked cooly, knowing that her voice was probably a little distant as she thought all of this through. "I've not been training for very long, so I don't imagine that field deployment is likely to be on my schedule any time soon," the blonde woman added, though if Balun's experiences were anything to go by, that could only be a good thing. "There are days I'm not sure I'd want to get out there, if it's all as you describe, though. I don't think I could kill anyone either."

Still, there had to be ways around that, she was certain: he'd spoken of using 'guerrilla tactics', and as she understood it, that meant you didn't engage an adversary directly, but rather, you used subterfuge and guile to lay down traps, or manipulate a situation to your advantage. Doesn't exactly hold up to the more direct nature of Jedi ethics, but if it means nobody gets killed in the process...maybe that's better? Surely Balun could spend more time confounding their enemies instead of killing them – messing up their plans so that things never got to the point of a battle. Although it's probably naive of me to think so...

"I have to ask: if you know that killing might end up being the outcome of your actions...why go along with it?" She wasn't going to go down the "surely there's a better way" route, because frankly, Teynara didn't have the experience required to say whether there was or not – but she was pretty sure that Balun did. Having recalled Valery's words about the various pathways open to a Jedi... "Not all Jedi have to fight, as I recall. Couldn't you have become a Healer, or an Architect, or something along those lines? Helping others, but without placing yourself or others at risk?"

 

[Balun Dashiell]

"Well, yeah, exactly. It's not all bad out there," Balun agreed, not wanting to discourage Teynara Jeralyr from inevitable field service; "I've been on plenty of relief assignments bringing food and medicine to world's who are in high demand or need of it. It's not all just about getting into fights and having to use our lightsabers" he half smirked, his eyes looking down over the sparring match.

"Ironically, I used to hate sparring with other students. I told my tutors how stupid it was to fight each other and potentially hurt our classmates. Although it wasn't like I had many friends, it was more that I didn't ever see myself being a fighter. I preferred to study and work with fauna and flora. Horticulture, agriculture, animal handling, even hunting if it was practised out of need and it was ethical". Balun frowned a little, thinking back on the number of lessons he had volunteered for, such as creating medicinal extracts from plant fibres and natural resources. Using the land and nature that the Force had blessed the Galaxy with to further nourish and care for the life that connected everything under its ethereal watch.

"That was before I left the Jedi Temple, though. It wasn't until I met my Master, Julius Sedaire , two years later. A grumpy old war veteran and Jedi Master. He's seen a lot and has become a local legend on Corellia. He taught me that Jedi don't have to fall under the same stereotype that the Temple and Enclaves can produce, but rather be moulded by the Galaxy around them and still serve the Force, do some real good without the politics choosing who we assist and serve".

One thing that Balun had learned about the true nature of the Galaxy was that outside of the Jedi Temple, the rules and conduct that the Jedi were taught to adhere to strictly were incredibly rare. Miraculous were such mercy returned to them, and survival outside of the Order required more than routine training but real-world knowledge, skills to survive and a keen awareness. While he refrained from saying it, the Jedi Temple was entirely serene compared to some of the dark, ruthless places Balun had visited since leaving Coruscant.

"I will say that I feel like I've advanced more in these two years than where I felt I was at, living here", He concluded with an air of confidence. Being alone had forced Balun to take the initiative, as no one was around to hold his hand. He had started by watching over other orphaned teenagers who had experienced a similar upbringing like him, those whose parents had never wanted them and who had yearned for a place of belonging. It was short-term, but such was Clan Terentatek. When the Dark Empire invaded Coruscant, Balun had turned his sights to the Outer Rim Territories, seeing possibility and potential in the Tingel Arm Coalition, as well as the limitless damage the Sith Order and the Empire of the Lost could achieve if left unchecked.

While seeking to earn his master's favour, he had started down a path that would change his life. For better or worse, it was yet to be determined.

 

[Teynara Jeralyr]

| Balun Dashiell |​

Listening to Balun talk, in truth, Teynara couldn't help but feel that there were strong similarities between the two of them. She wasn't overly fond of violence herself, and whilst she didn't mind sparring hand-to-hand on the mats below them, her own preference was ever for studying and work of a more practical nature – it was better, she felt, to build, create and nurture than it was to destroy or kill. That's the idea of the Jedi, isn't it? There's no pointing standing up against the darkness if you're not also spending time to nurture the light. It had often struck her as odd that the Jedi spent so much time emphasising the martial disciplines when it was clear that their duty lay elsewhere.

It frankly also sounded like Balun had her same questioning nature, particularly as it pertained to himself – for all his stance and his clear experience in the field, she felt that beneath it all, he had the same doubts, the same worries that he wouldn't be able to live up to the Jedi's legacy, and that he would ever have to strive to do better, because anything less wouldn't be enough. It was a striking contrast, to see a hint of a vulnerable young man beneath a warrior's veneer. True that he has yet to kill, and that fighting isn't his passion, but you wouldn't think that to look at him. It made her wonder if every Jedi was like that: different on the inside to the face that they presented to the world. And will I be that way, with more experience?

"I suppose a lot of what we do here feels abstract and theoretical," she observed calmly, reflecting on what Balun had said about how much he had learned beyond the walls of the Temple. "The Masters tell us that plans tend to evaporate on contact with reality – I've often wondered if the same is true of what we learn here." That was probably a big part of why so many Padawans left the Temple to travel around the Galaxy with their Masters: to learn the difference between the theory and the practice, and to understand what a Jedi's role was out there. "But you wouldn't have grown as much as you have if you hadn't started out here, surely?"

That was, after all, the whole point of being here, wasn't it? To create a stable foundation that could be built upon once you ended up on field duty. If you didn't have it, you'd probably fall into the many traps there were out there – and Teynara couldn't discount what Master Valery had said about the "Dark Side", and the reality that many Jedi were tempted away from the path they walked, moving away from selfless service to pursue their own desires. And that's the sort of thing that seems more likely to happen if you're not ready to be out there. She had a feeling it was all too easy to become jaded by the galaxy, and that this was why Jedi stepped away from their calling – indeed, couldn't it be said that Balun had done, too?

"So you still have a Jedi teacher?", she asked, realising that this was a slight contradiction to what Balun had said earlier. "If you're apprenticed to a Jedi Master, then you're still a Jedi-in-training, even if you're not here, don't you think?" That would still make him a Padawan working his way towards Knighthood, or so she thought, whatever Balun's thoughts on his allegiances might be. To her, it sounded simply as if he was on extended assignment in a specific spot, but a Jedi nonetheless. Does he feel that way, I wonder? "You're still sounding like a Jedi to me, Balun."

 

[Balun Dashiell]

"I suppose a lot of what we do here feels abstract and theoretical. The Masters tell us that plans tend to evaporate on contact with reality – I've often wondered if the same is true of what we learn here. But you wouldn't have grown as much as you have if you hadn't started out here, surely?"

"I dunno" Balun started to speak, yet paused to consider.

"I guess seeing the real nature of the Galaxy without any filter was the best thing I could've done for myself. It can be harsh out there, and when I first stepped away from the temple, I lived on the streets. I had no credit for my name, only the clothes on my back and lightsaber. I earned my creds by working for people, which helped me learn more about civilian life in Coruscant. Particularly in the lower levels," he explained, turning his gaze away from the sparring below to look back at Teynara Jeralyr , curious to see her response to this news.

It had essentially been mercenary work for whoever needed it, though he kept to his moral compass.

"The first time I piloted an actual Starship, not a simulated experience, I had stolen it" he admitted, his eyes remaining on her own. This wasn't something a Jedi typically did, and he anticipated a likely response from the girl. The Liberty's Edge was still listed on the hot sheet to this day.

"I've always had a bit of a rebel streak in me. I only did it once. I needed transport, and the Liberty's Edge was being hosted in a showroom..." his voice trailed, bobbing his head to either side indifferently, "Not such a Jedi now, huh?" he smirked a little playfully.

"So you still have a Jedi teacher? If you're apprenticed to a Jedi Master, then you're still a Jedi-in-training, even if you're not here, don't you think? You're still sounding like a Jedi to me, Balun."

Balun couldn't help but let loose a snicker as he thought of how Julius Sedaire might respond to the accusation of being a Jedi; "I mean...-I met my Master in a bar, that he owns and runs in a shady part of Corellia and it's called the Green Devils Inn. He's a grizzled old war veteran and his first bet was to offer me a drink, so you tell me?" he smirked once more, finally turning to place his attention back upon the sparring students below.

"Then there's the fact that I haven't seen him much since then. Sometimes I wonder if he is my Master, but he accepted me as his Apprentice and taught me a few things. It's not like I have any other options either" Balun concluded. Truth was, even if he did have other options, he wouldn't take them. The distance between him and Master Sedaire had moulded an aspiration and need to acquire the old man's approval, believing he needed to prove himself to Julius in order to receive his attention.

 

[Teynara Jeralyr]

| Balun Dashiell |
​

The quiet, almost hesitant way that Balun said "lower levels" made Teynara feel that she was supposed to infer something from that – and she wasn't quite getting it. She hadn't been on Coruscant long enough to pick up on the more local colour, and most of her time had been spent in the Temple itself. But if I didn't know better, I'd almost says he was embarrassed about that. She had to wonder why – it didn't sound like he had any reason to be, given that he'd at least put the effort in to living off his own effort.

The revelation that he'd stolen a starship didn't bother her as much as she thought it would – although she'd been raised to be fairly straight-laced, the blonde knew that things weren't always as black-and-white as her parents had always made out. Even bad people have what they think are good reasons for what they do, and she didn't think that Balun qualified as being a bad person. Although "I needed transport" probably wouldn't qualify as a good reason – unless you needed it for desperate purposes.

And, really, who was she to judge him for any of that?

"A rebel streak might be putting it mildly," she said, raising an eyebrow at him to show that she wasn't entirely approving of his actions, but in truth, she was rather amused by how stark his admission had been. And honest, too: a bad person wouldn't own up to something like that. "But I don't see the Jedi hauling you around in stuncuffs and dragging you to a cell, so it can't have been so bad."

"I've never heard of a Jedi Master owning a bar before," she added, her amusement only growing at that mental image, particularly when considering some of the Masters that she'd met and worked with so far – none of whom would have been at all suited to such a profession. "I almost feel like you're joking with me," she said with a wry smile, even though his sincerity had been hard to miss. "I take it he's another who felt that the Jedi path didn't quite align with his own?".

Even that was a little odd, though – to ascend to the rank of Jedi Master, at least as she understood it, meant total dedication to that pathway, and a level of expertise well above and beyond anything that either she or Balun might yet demonstrate. Only a chosen few reached that level. So what makes such a Jedi then step away from their duties and path, in order to do something so commonplace as running a tavern? It didn't make much sense to her – but, lately, few things did, at least as they pertained to the Jedi. Is there something about the Order to encourages so many of them to turn away from it? Part of her didn't want to explore that – after all, what if whatever she found also encouraged her to walk away?

"As for whether he's your Master...my understanding is that Jedi Padawans often end up sent off on their own missions and assignments once they reach a certain point in their training." Which made sense to her – you couldn't shelter your students forever, and at some point, they needed to be placed in situations that would put their understanding and abilities to the test without having their teacher around as a safety net. "Maybe he's simply giving you what guidance you need, then letting you go and figure it all out for yourself without him being around to pester you?"