Private A Monument To All Your Sins

[Amani Serys]

Skorne​

"The sith do not exist anymore."

“Maybe the Empire doesn’t, but…” the Sith never really die, not indelibly. Their states rise only to crumble time and time again, but the roaches always scuttle back into the shadows to survive another day. No Jedi of experience could genuinely believe otherwise. At least, she didn’t think so.

“You didn’t answer my question.” The obvious avoidance felt like it should be answer enough. But she’d hold on to whatever thread of hope she could grasp. She needed to hear the truth for herself.

 

[Tarish Galland]

Amani Serys​

The unavoidable moment had arrived. His attempt to divert the question failed as he stood quietly and stared at her. His expression was blank, eyes fixated as his own mind ran through the answers that would assuage the worry. Would stem the anger that arose if he answered truthfully.

But lying to her wouldn't have been right.

Wouldn't have stopped the burn of that lie. Wouldn't have sat right with him for so many countless reasons. She didn't deserve anything less than the truth after what he had done. After he had tricked her to lead to all this. The slow draw of breath broke his silence. Acceptance was slow to settle. The want to run, to leave, or to remain silent was strong and difficult to ignore.

But not more than the need to do right by her.

"I am...yes."

 

[Amani Serys]

Skorne​

"I am...yes."

Nothing could have truly prepared her for his confession. Just as nothing could have convinced her but his own words.

Amani averted her gaze and stepped back again. Processing the last few minutes took just about everything she could muster, and the silence between them seemed to stretch for eternity.

It wasn’t fair. She finally had something, someone back, and in a matter of moments it was all taken away from her yet again. If there were any doubt that the universe wasn’t making her life into some cruel joke, it was gone now.

A long inhale hitched in her throat. She felt like vomiting. It wasn’t fair. “Why?” Her voice shook with a mix of anger and despondence.

 

[Tarish Galland]

Amani Serys

It came and went. The silent lance to the metaphorical thing he called a heart. The step back, the drop of her eyes as she processed the words. His eyes narrowed, not in anger, but to keep the sting they felt from becoming anything more. It hadn't mattered how well he had tried to prepare for this moment. None of it had worked.

The quiet lingered, his gaze dropping to the ground as he thought about turning around and simply walking away. The hitch of her breath made him pause, his chin rising ever so slightly to acknowledge her when she spoke. Another question. One with an almost impossible answer. He had long pondered the reason himself.

And no answer could satisfy the want for a purpose. The want to signify the rational that kept him tethered to the group every system so vehemently despised, loathed, and abhorred for everything they were.

Even now, he couldn't put into words what had kept him from simply breaking away and returning to the Silvers. Or even just walking away from it all. He blinked, pondering as he clicked his tongue.

"I can't give you a reason. Not a proper one at least. Anyone with a sense of the force will know I'm an abomination. That I'm not supposed to be alive." He finally began, self loathing staining the words. His hand slowly rose, eyes examing it before scrubbing his scalp and closing his eyes.

"I think...complacency. It was just easy. I could blend in. Not stick out. Monster with other monsters. Not...worry who might strike out in fear." He revisited all the lonely thinking time he'd had. Wondering if any among the jedi would look beyond to see him as he was or if he was truly to be seen as the abomination he was.

 

[Amani Serys]

Skorne​

Amani shook her head in denial, "Then... change!" That part of him had to still be there. She refused to believe he could be turned just like the flip of a switch, even as she asked for the very same thing now.

"Just because they brought you back doesn't mean they get to make that decision!" If the Empire took him, then their time under the thumb of the Sith must have overlapped at some point. And that meant they kept him secret from her. It only served to further her disdain exponentially with every bit of information she learned. She didn't care, she could be as angry as she wanted now.

Amani reached for her waist, and unbuckled the hilt of a lightsaber. Tarish's lightsaber. Ever since Onderon she'd carried it as a reminder. "I've been keeping this. For you." With an outstretched hand she presented the hilt to its original master.

"Take it." Her lip trembled with desperation. She was giving him one more chance to prove her right.

 

[Tarish Galland]

The demand to change. Even the priests that had brought him back had struggled with warping his mind. It would be a complete lie to say he was completely sith. But it was easier. Had been easy to hide away from responsibility and shirk the return.

Even with their influence, he hadn't been able to strike Ura when they had met. Asked her to run, to leave and think nothing of their meeting.

It wouldn't be so with Amani.

He had known Amani was with the Empire, had avoided her to keep from jeopardizing her mission. Swaying her from that task. Had deliberately avoided even mentioning her name and presence. They had asked little more than for information against the Silvers, never asking the right questions.

Or at least never seeking the right answers.

He watched her silently. The hurt plain on her face as she reached for her belt, and instinct demanded he move. Reason stayed his hand as she presented his old weapon. And yielded it to him with a choice. His eye twitched, wanting to take it. Resign himself of fealty and further responsibility.

His throat tightened, hand extending to take it before it paused. Eyes moved to hers as he spoke, keeping his hand from touching his old saber.

"And what then?" His face was taught from keeping emotions at bay. The pleading of his eyes even through their corruption trying to reach her. His hand trembled softly, flexing to gain some small bit of control over itself.

 

[Amani Serys]

Amani froze, unable to answer his question. She looked down and away, softly shaking her head, “...I don’t know…”

A moment passed, and the only sound was that of the breeze passing by, before she managed to return her gaze to Tarish, “Just not this.”

Anything but this. They hadn’t gone through all that pain and turmoil just for it to end with him on the other side. Words returned to her as another beat of silence fell between them,

“...Live your own life, Tarish. You don’t owe anything to the Sith. Or Jedi.”

“Just please, not this. After everything we did. Everything that happened… I can’t live knowing-” She inhaled shakily, still holding out the hilt for him to make his choice.

Skorne​

 

[Tarish Galland]

Amani Serys​

She didn't have the answer to his question. But he hadn't been looking for an answer really. Only asked to give himself a breath more time to think. To wonder.

To feel.

His hand shook but never moved to or from the offered hilt as she spoke. His eyes not wavering from her as old rusted cogs began creaking to life. He'd thought himself a monster for even being alive.

For being what he was.

It might have been a bit of favoritism on his part, but that was a thought for another time. The hand moved forward, finally taking the old thing before he sighed.

"Well...I never really was one for great plans, or even really thinking ahead." He spoke quietly, the hint of laughter in his voice as he stepped forward and raised his chin. There was a tiny smirk as he looked at her, assessing before speaking.

"Supplies huh? Not...where I thought you would be. But then again..." The smirk turned wry as he waved to himself, the hilt feeling strange against his hand. "You ate yet?"

 

[Amani Serys]

Skorne​

At first, she didn’t even realize he had taken it. Amani blinked, glancing between Tarish and her now empty palm for several seconds before a weary grin stretched across her face.

"Well...I never really was one for great plans, or even really thinking ahead."

The mirialan matched his chuckle, seeing now clearer than ever the man she knew before, “Me neither. But spacer work keeps me busy I guess,” she sniffled, still wiping her eyes dry. She wanted to say something like ‘I knew it’ but in truth she had until then, been near certain she was going to lose him again. Just like everything else. And now she was just preoccupied with staying in the moment they had been granted.

"You ate yet?"

“Ate? Um, no actually. I hadn’t really given it much thought.” As if on cue her stomach whined, to which she responded with a guilty smile. “What about you?” A bit of a pointless extension to the conversation, but Amani genuinely didn’t care; She was just glad to talk.

 

[Tarish Galland]

Amani Serys​

His hand held the old thing tight. A symbol of the past that would have been slowly eroded by time had he not met her here. Had she not challenged his stance and choices as she had. Coasting by on little more than lack of action rather than outright choice.

She wiped her eyes and it brought the corner of his mouth into something of a grin. "Spacer work is never without something to do. Patch this leak, plug that gap, where are the wires crossed...least that's how I've always seen it."

He rolled his eyes a bit, making mock motions of fixing some unseen thing as he spoke. He straightened up as he shrugged.

The admission and following grumble from her stomach had him biting his lower lip to keep from laughing. His eyes slowly blinking before shaking his head.

"Nope. My treat. Can't imagine you've been eating well if this is what you are doing. And even if you have been, well. Foods better with company." He offered, nodding towards the field of ships behind them. The hilt slipping into a pocket as he spoke.

"Nothing fancy, but I can whip something up." His turning step paused as a question formed. "Need to lock up or drop anything off?"

 

[Amani Serys]

Skorne

"Spacer work is never without something to do. Patch this leak, plug that gap, where are the wires crossed...least that's how I've always seen it."
​

Amani confirmed his claim about spacer work with a laugh and a nod, “Yeah, yeah that’s been my experience, too…” she trailed off, mirroring Tarish as he straightened up. The entire air seemed to change, like a thick fog had lifted and things were beginning to feel normal again. At least, relatively normal.

"Nope. My treat. Can't imagine you've been eating well if this is what you are doing. And even if you have been, well. Foods better with company."

He’d hear no disagreement from her. Keeping well fed wasn’t always an issue, but it was… inconsistent. At his last question, Amani pointed at the bag she’d carried out here, now laying stiffly against the light post, “Just this. Just uh, gimme a sec.” She opened up the gangway to her ship and awkwardly lugged the supplies inside, only putting in just enough effort to plop it down right behind the entryway before returning to Tarish, “So, did you have anything in mind?” She was far from picky, especially now.