Private A Visceral Coming To

[Sylvia Virtos]

The speeder Sylvia got into wasn't the kind she was used to. It didn't really surprise the spacer that speeders meant for royalty were significantly more luxurious than the average, but it was strange to actually sit in one of them herself. Still, the vehicle wasn't nearly interesting enough to draw her attention away from Quinn. While the princess looked out of the window, Sylvia kept her eyes on the girl sitting next to her. Whatever she had done to her, it created a feeling of want she thought she had buried. It was still there, and Quinn had found it effortlessly. Sylvia could imagine what the echani was thinking of and while it made her just a little nervous, she wasn't going to run from it.

So when Quinn turned her attention to the magenta-haired girl, it elicited a smirk instead of shock. Sylvia would play along and see where things would end up. There was no resistance to Quinn's leg suddenly folding over her lap, instead she wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her in just a little bit closer. "You know I wouldn't be any fun to you that way," Sylvia rebutted playfully. "A plaything gets boring. I'm not just conceding like that." She had known Quinn well enough to know what she meant. Despite that, she did welcome the advances and even reciprocated in her own way. With Quinn resting her head on Sylvia's shoulder, the spacer couldn't resist running her hand through the echani's hair. She looked nothing short of adorable that way. Past Sylvia never expected to find Quinn cute, but here she was. "But you are more than welcome to try to convince me."

All of the hopelessness and fear Sylvia had felt around the one she wanted to forget simply wasn't here, now. When it came to Quinn, she didn't fear any kind of risk. "Tell you what," she mused as her eyes followed her fingers going through Quinn's platinum locks, "show me what you can do today." The hand under her jacket made it even more obvious what Quinn was looking for. She was lucky that Sylvia was looking for the same thing. They could bring each other the relief they needed.

The ride was going to be a long one, perhaps, but with the way Quinn was cuddled up to her Sylvia did not mind at all.

Quinn Varanin ​

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Quinn's Room //:
//: Sylvia Virtos //:

Sylvia's fingers through her hair brought a calm that she rarely felt in recent days. Typically only her sister could do this to her to help the young Echani find any relaxation. Her fingers continued to play with Sylvia's shirt's fabric, then slowly slipped them under the material. Delicately, Quinn danced her touch along the waist of the girl as her face continued against the nook of Sylvia's neck. ​

"Playthings do get boring, but you'd be more than a mere plaything." Her voice quiet as she continued to enjoy the closeness between them. She remembered the assassin that was meant to be her close plaything, the one she had given everything to before meeting Vesta. Quinn mused, wondering where the assassin had wandered off to, possibly chasing the red headed shi'ido. The thought of the pair wrinkled Quinn's nose - she hated sharing or losing something. ​

Her eyes wandered up to one of the windows noticing the forest coverings that meant they were driving up to the palace. Quinn leaned up slightly and looked at Sylvia, her eyes taking in the softness of her potential lover's features. Sylvia was precious to her, even before today. As much as they clashed, Quinn would only tolerate her teasing the rat. A gentle hand cupped the delicate face of the Spacer, turning her attention to Quinn. "I like you, Sylvia." She whispered softly as their noses touched slightly, and she leaned in closer, giving the girl a gentle kiss. Pulling away, she looked over towards the driver, "Is my sister home?" ​

The driver looked up in the mirror - his face slightly red, which meant he had caught glances of the pair. She raised her eyebrow towards him, showing that she was displeased. "N-No." the young Echani man babbled. The matriarch seemed to have found something to keep her busy. "Okay, then." Quinn looked back to Sylvia as she climbed off and left the speeder as it stopped. ​

The hand that had been cupping Sylvia's face trailed down Sylvia's front and ended up grasping her hand. "Come." She dragged her along and into the massive palace. Décor was simply highlighting the silver and blues of the planet. Quinn didn't explain much as she led Sylvia up the large staircase and up to her room. ​

In the room, it was very much Quinn's. A harp in the corner and a large bed in the far corner had a few steps leading up to it. The room was nearly triple the size of the dorm rooms, and Quinn released Sylvia's hand. "Make yourself at home; you're going to be here for a while." Quinn had stepped ahead of the other girl and looked over her shoulder as she spoke. "Hope you didn't have any plans for the rest of the week." An arm moved to unzip her dress as she wandered towards the corner of the room, which held her closet. ​

"You know why you're here, right? What am I planning on doing with you?"​

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

Sylvia had felt closeness before, but never was it this filled with intent. Where she had been too afraid to go too far in the past, she welcomed every step further. Quinn had effortlessly burrowed her way into the spacer's mind. Even during the academy days she stuck around despite the occasional animosity shared between the two and back then, Sylvia couldn't say why. Now that they were sitting in the back of the speeder, as physically close as two beings could be to each other, she finally began to understand. While before Sylvia was too fixated on someone else to see it, Quinn had charm like few others did. Now she had been enchanted and there was no way back.

Sylvia had told herself she wouldn't fall for it again. She ended up being completely defenseless. There was no resistance as Quinn cupped her face, cheeks turning red at the confession. Lips were planted onto her own before she could respond, the moment making her grin like an idiot. There was no point in trying to hold it back. The kiss was so simple, so carefree; that nervousness she felt before melted away. When Quinn pulled away again, Sylvia was given another chance to respond and unlike what Sylvia normally did, she was as straight-forward in her words as she could be.

"I... I like you too." It was a weight off Sylvia's chest.

The speeder came to a halt and a pang of disappointment shot through the spacer. The moment had gone by too quickly for her. She climbed out of the speeder behind Quinn and looked up to the massive palace before her, unable to suppress a look of wonder. Never before had she seen such luxury as this with her own eyes. This wasn't a place for a lowly spacer such as herself. And yet here she was, hand in hand with the princess of Eshan. As she was led into the palace Sylvia had an inkling of where they were going and that hunch was quickly proven right. Up the stairs the two went; Quinn wasted little time guiding Sylvia to the echani's bedroom.

That's where her heartrate spiked. She knew that this was where things would likely lead towards, but now that the realization hit her it all became very real. This was happening. Somehow, someway, Quinn had seen something in her. She expected to be waking up in her ship any moment now, only to realize this had all just been her imagination running wild. Sylvia would make the most of this, regardless.

"If you say so," Sylvia responded as she watched Quinn walk towards her closet. The spacer took a few steps forward, taking in just how large the room was. Most of her ship fit in here. "I could get used to this." With how warm she was feeling, Sylvia began unbuttoning her jacket, but something told her it wouldn't be the only article of clothing to go. "If I have any plans? That's the great thing about being a spacer, I don't need to make 'em." Even if she did, those plans would've just been cancelled.

Sylvia couldn't keep her eyes off of Quinn as she took off her dress as she undid the last button of her jacket and pulled at the first sleeve to get her arm out.

"I've got a pretty good idea, yes. And I'm still here."

Quinn Varanin ​

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Her Broken Smile //:
//: Sylvia Virtos //:

Quinn listened as she nodded; the girl had made up her mind the moment they had shared their first kiss in the café. Standing in her closet, tentative fingers caressed the end of her lips as she remembered the sweet taste of the human girl. Sighing softly, she tried to calm the rapid beating of her heart; it was a feeling she hadn’t felt in some time. Hearing Sylvia’s answer to her question only made Quinn nervous. Why, of all things, was she nervous? Was Sylvia the one she would expose her broken heart to? ​

Sylvia was someone she had known for some time, but this was a whole new world for the pair of them. Quinn stayed within the protection of her closet as she folded the fabric of her dress carefully and placed it away. Everything needed to take longer because the longer she took it gave Sylvia a chance to second guess herself. For how confident the Echani Princess was, she was equally just as doubtful about herself. As she stared at herself in the mirror, her fingers twirled and played with the ends of her platinum hair. “You are still here,” Quinn started as she stepped back into view of the room, her eyes never meeting Sylvia’s as she looked at the hand playing with her short hair. “I’m asking myself why you’re still here, after everything I’ve done to you.” ​

The blush danced across her cheeks, spreading to the tips of her ears. Carefully, she glanced over towards Sylvia, who had only removed her jacket. She sauntered forward, closing the gap between her and Sylvia. A hand brushed gently once more against the spacer’s cheek. Despite how quiet and calm the Echani was, her heart pounded in the back of her throat. ​

Quinn couldn’t hold back anymore; she guided Sylvia back till the end of the bed and forced the girl to fall back onto the soft duvet. Hovering over the other, Quinn watched Sylvia waiting for rejection, but when it didn’t come - the Echani leaned down and whispered softly, “I’m glad you’re still here…” a pause as she felt her heart slip away from her, “with me.” Another kiss, desperate and longing as she in this moment wanted no one else.​

A single tear fell from her eyes as she held on, wanting Sylvia so much to end the agony that burned in her heart and soul. Quinn chose to give her former rival everything she had within her - she hoped Sylvia decided to do the same.​

Later​

Quinn remained close to the other girl, eyes searching for the rejection she had been waiting for the entire time they had been together. She tore her eyes from the shape beside her as she looked to the ceiling and exhaled softly, finally finding the courage. ​

“What was this all to you?”​

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

Every single step Sylvia took in this room was like breaking through a brick wall. She knew how this was going to end and she wanted this, yet it remained absolutely terrifying to make any move by herself. The fear of overstepping a boundary was that much stronger when one didn't know where those boundaries lied. And so, Sylvia simply stood there while Quinn was out of sight, waiting for the echani to come back out of the closet. When that moment came, it was Quinn who closed the distance between them. The spacer was more than okay with that.

"Forget all that. Let's start over," Sylvia whispered. The past was only filled with pain. She didn't want to think about that time anymore. Nothing good had come out of that time. She wanted to leave it all behind. The spacer wished for this to be the beginning of something new, a fresh start between herself and Quinn.

There was no resistance as Sylvia was led to Quinn's bed. From the moment when she felt the echani push her onto it, the world around her fell away, her attention undivided, placed solely on the woman who had put her under her spell. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, Quinn." She was tired of being alone. This connection was the remedy she didn't know she needed. Intent-filled eyes locked onto Quinn's; she wanted nothing and no one else but the echani.

As Quinn leaned in for a kiss, Sylvia quickly placed both of her hands on the back of the echani's head to keep her there. As terrifying as the unknown was, She wouldn't let fear rule her any longer. She had learned her lesson last time. Quinn would get all she had, even if it wasn't much.

---

The weak but telling smile refused to fade from Sylvia's face. She felt drained, but satisfyingly so; everything that had happened simply felt right. Quinn had shown a side of herself that Sylvia found herself mesmerized with.

The spacer looked away from the ceiling and towards Quinn as the echani asked her a question, as though they had swapped duties. Sylvia took a moment to think of the right words to convey what she was feeling, but felt a tinge of fear crop up when she realized what she wanted to say. An admission that maybe went further than what Quinn wanted.

Not this time. Fear had ruined everything once before.

"The beginning of something new. Something beautiful, good for the both of us," Sylvia answered. It came from a place of honesty and vulnerability, though that nagging feeling of worry in the back of her mind did make her add something on top of it. "In whatever shape it may take. I hope you want to see where we go from here, too."

Quinn Varanin ​

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: last night i dreamt of you //:
//: Sylvia Virtos //:

Quinn remained quiet as she listened to Sylvia’s answer. It was hopeful and longing for something more long term. In Quinn’s position, any girl would be elated to know that the person they were just intimate with wanted something more than physical touch. Her heart ached; she had been in this position before - giving herself to someone fully only to have them disappoint her. Her touch against Sylvia’s bare skin pulled away; the intimacy scared her despite feeling good. Would Sylvia leave her as well? Would Sylvia run back to the one that broke her heart? Toxic thoughts filled the Echani’s mind as she remembered her sister’s words. ​

Only Noelle could love her unconditionally; no one else could ever care for her like that. Even then, Quinn wondered if the frustration and anger Noelle harbored for her stained that unconditional love. ​

Quinn sat up, pulling the sheet up to cover her. She shivered slightly as her back was now fully exposed. The breeze entered the room through the double doors cracked barely; Eshan wasn’t as warm as Bastion or Dromond Kaas. “Do you think about her often?” Quinn questioned; she knew her own mind wandered to Vesta quite frequently; thoughts of the Zambrano girl also appeared right before she had given herself to Sylvia. “Did you think about her when I kissed you or when I touched you?” She probed, wanting to find something wrong with what had just happened. It was too perfect; everything lined up too perfectly for this not to have something hidden in the shadow of a doubt. ​

Looking to Sylvia, she eyed the stains of black lipstick running along the length of her slender frame - marking her as the princess’ own. Eyes lingered on the markings, wondering how long they would last. Silver hair flowed, twisting with the movement of her head-turning away from Sylvia again. Her back facing her, scared to see the truth behind the potentially empty words. ​

Slowly, Quinn brought her knees to her chest under the sheet and kept her eyes staring forward. Empathy spoke to her, but the feelings she was gleaning from the girl beside her scared her. She had felt these emotions in another before, and even then, there was her first. Each of them, their feelings, bore the truth of their affection, but that’s all it was. ​

Affection, never true love. ​

Was Noelle right?​

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

Well, I am here for you
​

The comforting touch dissipated and a mix of doubt and fear quickly rushed in to fill the hole it left. Sylvia's thoughts fired off countless reasons why, but one kept on coming back. She had said something wrong, somehow. Doubts convinced her she had gone too far, crossed territory she shouldn't have, at least not yet. Maybe it wasn't what Quinn was looking for at all. Maybe this wasn't meant to be anything more. Maybe Sylvia had her hopes up too high. There was nothing that could make her regret giving in to her desires, but she already wished she had never said those words. First, it was not saying anything that ruined everything. Now she felt she was losing it again, but by being too honest. Against all odds Sylvia believed to have gotten a second chance, but she quickly saw it fading away.

Perhaps it had never existed in the first place.

Sylvia remained under the bedsheet, the back of her head rolling back onto the pillow. She resisted a defeated sigh; the fact she had fallen for Quinn didn't mean it was reciprocated. She all too badly wanted to peer into the echani's mind for just a moment, so she could see how she felt about her. The comfortable bed felt a lot colder now as doubt cast its shadow over it.

More questions came, revealing Quinn's doubt of Sylvia's thoughts. The questions felt like a stab to the heart and not just because of the implication. She didn't want to think of her anymore. She wouldn't ever see her again, and that hurt went deeper than the pain of never getting to confess her feelings. "She was my closest friend, my only friend for most of my life. Of course I still think of her," Sylvia responded, her lip trembling slightly. She kept herself together with great effort. The spacer knew she had let her down, and it weighed heavily on her.

"But in the end, that... that's what we were. Friends. I will admit I had feelings for her, but we were never- we weren't a thing. Our friendship meant more to me than my feelings for her." Sylvia took a deep breath. She had never told anyone about her ever since losing her, but in this moment of weakness she let her tongue slip. Her feelings had become a lesson. The friendship she lost was what truly hurt.

Gathering the courage, Sylvia looked to her side again, though only seeing the echani's back. She went to sit up as well, now, pulling up the bedsheet in much the same way. "You made me forget about her, even if just for a little while. You were the only one on my mind, Quinn." Sylvia had answered all the questions thrown at her and had been truthful every step of the way. She felt like she deserved to ask one thing in return.

"You asked me, so... did- did you think of her? You know, her." For once, Sylvia didn't know if she wanted to hear an honest answer.

Quinn Varanin ​

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Sylvia Virtos //:

Hearing that while Sylvia thought of her former flame, Quinn found satisfaction knowing that the girl was forgotten within these walls. A weight lifted from her chest, and she felt as if she could breathe more comfortably with this bit of information. Sylvia shifted, and Quinn glanced towards the girl, listening and feeling the emotions pouring off her tender heart. ​

As much as Quinn wanted the conversation to end and continue what they had started, Sylvia asked her the one question she didn't want to answer. Her soft voice gave away what the Spacer was feeling, not wanting to fully know the truth of the Echani's thoughts. Quinn felt her breath escape her as she knew she had tried to forget her. They were in the same boat, two broken hearts searching for a way to mend them - destroyed by the one person they thought would never do those things. ​

They were the same, but so very different. ​

Quinn looked down towards her hands that clutched the thin blanket against her slender frame. Letting her mind wander to Vesta only brought waves of pain. It swelled and broke as she sighed softly. "I think of her often. It's hard not to." Quinn spoke quietly as she felt the tears wet her cheeks. "I had given her everything; she found me in such a pitiful state." Quinn didn't continue, but she closed her eyes, remembering that night. ​

Exhaling softly, she knew Sylvia needed the answer to the question. Yes, her mind wanted to compare the two. Yes, she wanted Sylvia so desperately to be Vesta, but deep down, she wanted the Spacer to be more than a distraction. "No, I didn't think of her while I was with you." Looking back to her lover, she smiled softly and then leaned closer. Fingertips trailed down Sylvia's cheek, over her lips, then wrapping gently around the girl's chin. "Your touch and everything about you erased her from me." ​

Yellow Amber eyes stared at the Spacer for just a moment as she waited for the words to sink in. "I'm no longer hers, I belong to you, and you're mine - as long as you'll have me."​

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

I woke up with a fear this morning
But I can taste you on the tip of my tongue
​

That moment between question and answer felt outright unbearable. Part of Sylvia immediately regretted asking, but it had to be done. She couldn't chase someone too wrapped up with someone else, whether they were still there or not. It would only lead to hurt and it was better to realize that now than when it was too late. Yet despite all that, her emotional side still wanted to stay blind to it. Sylvia wanted to be anything but an attempt to replace another so badly that it almost felt comforting simply thinking it wasn't the case. If she didn't know for sure, she could never confirm the worst case scenario to be true. Fear gripped her as she waited, feeling her heart thump for a very different reason.

After what felt like lifetimes, Quinn finally spoke. The echani didn't look at Sylvia as she explained a feeling all too familiar to the spacer. It was vulnerable, honest. In a way, it was comforting too. She didn't expect Quinn to have forgotten about someone like Vesta that quickly and easily. It would've been unfair to, in addition to making her a hypocrite. What truly plagued Sylvia's mind was a different question, though. She needed to know if she was someone new, or someone to take Vesta's place. She couldn't be the latter, even if she wanted to.

Another moment of shared silence. Sylvia hadn't made sound since asking her question, too afraid to make even a sound. She wanted Quinn, that much she had come to realize in the most intense of ways, but her desire alone wasn't enough. Another lifetime spent waiting. Then, the answer finally came.

The first word alone was enough to pierce the barrier of fear and shatter it to pieces. No. It was Sylvia the echani wanted. The notion had trouble truly settling in the spacer's mind at first, like she refused to believe it, but the gentle touch of Quinn's fingertips against her cheek drowned out all rational thought like it did last time. If it had somehow been a lie, then Quinn was a liar the likes of which Sylvia had never met before. Eyes locked- blue to amber- and something that had only barely fallen into slumber reawakened. A feeling only the echani could instill in her.

Against her fears, Sylvia got the answer she hoped for. An answer that felt like the truth. She couldn't help but smile like an idiot while her lover spoke again. "I'm yours, you're mine. I like that."

The magenta-haired woman leaned in, planting a deep kiss on Quinn's lips. They tasted even better, now.

"I guess you get your wish."

Quinn Varanin
​