A Walk Down Memory Lane (Josh Dragonsflame)

[Cora Passek]

Cora nodded, "They do. I ... I can't stand what they've done, the power and control they have gained. Everyday so many lives are lost to them, enslaved by them. It can't go on forever. I sincerely hope that someday it might end and no more lives will have to be lost to them." She sighed, "Though I suppose, there will just be some other evil that rises in it's place." It was the unfortunate way that the galaxy seemed to go on.

Cora sighed and rose from her seat, starting for the door. "I suppose you do have a point. I know enough how difficult it was to take on Force users while I was cut off from the Force. It wasn't an easy task and I think ... I think I was lucky to have survived with my life. I've enough scars to prove the line I've walked for years."

Cora smiled, "She is. And I can't blame her for being distrustful with all that she's had to endure. It's been a long while since I've seen her last. Miss the girl."

"Well, I suppose we should move on." She was nearly at the door. "I've got a cabin rented out not too far from here. It's at least private and away from prying eyes and ears." She said with a nervous glance around the room. One never could be too sure.

[member="Joshua DragonsFlame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

"Well, unfortunately... There's more of them then there is us. And the Jedi are divided to all hell. Egos keep getting in the way" He remarked irritably with a roll of his eyes. "They all want to start their own Orders and have their own rules, and not work much with the other Jedi, and it's just... Ugh. And then there's the ones presided over by governing bodies, who think they can control that Jedi like their own soldiers. It's pathetic, and it betrays what the Jedi stand for. They'll never defeat the Sith until they get their chit straight... That's a fact" He would add as he got to his feet, paying his tab and all if he hadn't already.

He would nod as he would begin to make his way out the door. "Lead the way."

[member="Cora Passek"]

 

[Cora Passek]

Cora nodded. Though a rather terrible thought had suddenly dawned on her. Her past, her allegiances.... If things had been even just slightly different with what happened to her family line that fateful night, she'd be on the other side of this war without even a doubt. "Egos? .... Egos, shouldn't get in the fething way. Especially not when the Jedi core tenants are about helping those that need it most. Egos go in the fething box and get tossed aside when that is on the line. There are far too many in this galaxy that can't help themselves. That need someone there for them, to help, to rescue them." Her tone was sharp, angry and a bit upset. The current Jedi she was beyond not a fan of. Being a criminal had a way of doing that, and of course being raised amongst the Sith really didn't help.

Now Cora, personally might have done some awful things in her past, but they weren't ever done to any that didn't rightly deserve it. Right action? Wrong time? Maybe. However even her darker self, still had a heart of gold buried somewhere in her rage, pains, and fears. She had standards at the end of the day, and lines she'd never cross.

Hearing that certainly ruffled her feathers. "To be honest, the way the Jedi are now, they are heading into a hell they don't quite understand. If they don't get their act together, there won't be a single thing in this galaxy left worth fighting for. I've never saw much good in the Jedi Order, but then I've not exactly been on the best side of the law." She sighed heavily, "Thrown out, on the streets and on the run, still a teen..." She shrugged, "I did what was needed to get by and survive. I can't say I'm entirely proud of what I had to do. But I'm still standing, still breathing.... I'd like to believe that is what matters. The other part of that, is being able to live with yourself. Somewhere between still being alive, and being able to live with yourself with all you have done, is the balance of life. At least, I'd like to think that." Well, she would like to think so, because the alternatives were far worse.

She shrugged again and headed off down a side street, leading them slowly to the edge of the city. "I hope the Jedi get a serious wake up call, before all is lost." Cora sighed once more. "All I know is they need it. Not that I have any spectacular ideas of how to go about that, I just wasn't raised in a temple - exposed to only one or two ways of thinking. The galaxy's a far different place from where I've lived for so long. I have doubts that many of the current bunch of Jedi, could have lasted a day in my shoes, at the beginning after my family was murdered. Not that I mean any offense by that. Just I've only really met Coryth, and felt like she was one of the seldom few that wasn't caught up in the mess that the Order has become." Josh, hadn't yet truly answered her on the Jedi topic. Well, definitively. His last statements made her suspect it. Never mind the strange feels she felt through the force - though she quashed them down quickly, not liking to feel those little cues from that strange mystic power.

[member="Joshua DragonsFlame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

Once they were out of earshot, he was fine saying it. "Well... You've met me, you've had the opportunity to discuss this sort of thing. I think it's safe to say you know the answer to the Jedi question by now" He spoke, with a small smile. "I'm a Jedi, yes. And I'd like to think that there are more Jedi like me who don't fall for that kind of thing. Ego... Pride... Power... These are Sith tenants, not Jedi ones. Sure, perhaps pride might be one... But pride to be a part of the Order, dedicated to your task and to helping people, not your own personal pride. I was born in and raised on the tenants of helping those in need, protecting the galaxy and it's people. No matter how the Order is now... That won't ever change. And I know that out there, there are people like me who feel the same. That's why I don't give up on the Jedi. The current Orders may have forgotten... But I have not. Even if I have to accomplish my mission alone" He spoke, his expression deathly serious as they walked.

"The Sith have to go down for us to find peace again. But we also have to remember who we are here to protect. Sadly only a few Jedi remember that" Josh would remark, shaking his head. "That's why I constantly act independently from the Orders. They only care for results and not for the lives who are lost. They forget who we are and where we came from. Which means this mission is left to those of us left."

He looked over at her. "Don't think of them as Jedi. Look at people like me who remember who we are and where we came from. Who know why we fight... That is a Jedi."

[member="Cora Passek"]

 

[Cora Passek]

Cora ran a slow hand through her hair, tucking it neatly behind her ears. "Yes, I suppose I do know, but I wanted to hear it from you." A sigh followed. She didn't like to admit this too often, "I'm not all that great at trusting people, and if it wasn't for the drinks tonight I don't think we'd be discussing the things we are." She rubbed at her forehead, realizing she was rambling. "Hearing it, feeling the strange things in the .. Force I suppose is what it is, helps me to know I'm not being lied to." Another sigh came so easily from her, "I'm sorry I'm this untrusting. My life's just been a touch complicated and well, being this way has kept me safe." It also kept her from forming any decent relationship. Cora never could let anyone get that close to her, for such thing.

"I do agree in what they are. Unfortunately at the same time, they are also built into human nature. Almost instinctual. So one has to fight those instincts from minute one to be among the good ones, the good true Jedi." In that her beliefs were a little different. Then again, she still was becoming acquainted with having the Force at all, and learning not to hate herself for it. And to be less judgmental of the good ones out there that had it. Which hadn't been an easy task thus far.

"I only hope you find others along the way that are able to help you in your goals." She shrugged slightly, "Because I'm certainly not someone who can. At least I don't think so. Not when I don't even know what I am much less who I am anymore." She had so many doubts in herself that were natural given what she'd experienced. It was hard to trust herself again, to know she wouldn't turn into the monster she'd watched herself be more than once when Vahri the Spirit took over and used her body for his means and goals.

She nodded, listening carefully to his next words. "I can understand that. The need to act outside of them. It makes me understand why Coryth sought to do so herself so long ago. I think she saw where things were heading and got out while she can before the frustrations she had twisted her into something horrible." That much made sense to Cora now. The whole Jedi situation was a lot more complicated than she had first thought.

She nodded, "There is truth in that. I only wished there were more like you." Walking she finally came to the cabin and walked up to the door unlocking it for them both. Cora naturally stepped inside first out of habit, and turned to watch as he entered. Positioned just right to watch all possible entrances - windows included as he would come in behind her.

"It also makes me wonder about me. The situation is so strange. And so complicated. If you were any other Jedi, I somehow suspect I'd be in a prison cell right now for the knowledge I possess involuntarily." That she just didn't know. Where she belonged was a bit of a mystery, leaving her somewhere in between and more than a little lost. "It's not like I exactly started out this journey in life as an bit of a good person." She gave a shrug and motioned him on in. "Make yourself at home. At least here it's quiet and there's no one to listen in." Another sigh, "I'm just not sure where I belong. And I know there are still some things that are holding me back. Things I've got to work out before I truly can dream to move forward in life."

[member="Joshua DragonsFlame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

The Jedi shrugged his shoulders and chuckled a bit. "Well, you got it, did you not?" He would tease in turn. He let out a sigh. "My name is Joshua DragonsFlame" He finally would admit once they had reached their cabin, went inside and were out of earshot of any listeners. "I'm a Jedi Master, and the former Grandmaster of The Jedi Order back when it was with the Republic. My tenure was short, despite my tenure coming from me singlehandedly saving the Jedi and Republic as a whole, due to egos, pride, greed... And this idea that the Republic and Halcyon had insinuated on the Jedi that we were nothing but soldiers. I was not a soldier. I was a peacekeeper, a man of peace that only drew my blade when it was truly necessary. I do not revel in the suffering and the death of my enemies like my fellow Jedi did, who wished for naught but death... And I was pushed into stepping down because of it. Perhaps, if I had been more harsh, more strict and more ruthless, I could have simply expelled the Jedi who were doing so, but... If I were to become those things, I would have become the very thing I wished not to be, no?"

He shook his head. "I am one of the last of a dying breed of Jedi, love... And most likely, that will not change. My dream is to see that change... But the Jedi of today have lost their way. And so long as their way is lost... The Sith shall win. Even if military might pushes the Sith away from the planets that it controls... Are the current Jedi much better then the Sith? Would we just be replacing one dictatorship and ruthless leadership with another? No... Either way... Nobody wins. Only egos will win. And they too, will be attacked, conquered, and crumbled..."

He smirked at her last statement. "I'm not anything like most Jedi out there now. The Jedi out there in the Republic now, one of them saw a Dark Jedi hug me. At a social gathering. They tried to have my masterhood revoked despite me not even being a Republic Knight anymore and serving another Jedi group entirely" He remarked with a laugh. "That sums up why you're not jailed... And that sums up our situation in general, darling... That's something we have to live with" He would admit, biting his lip.

"As for you... Your destiny is one only you can write. You have to go where your heart says."

[member="Cora Passek"]

 

[Cora Passek]

Cora shook her head, "Yeah, I got it alright. So didn't want it." The woman giggled just slightly. She listened carefully to his story. "Ah, the name I have heard now. It's just been a long while."

She shook her head. Halcyon she remembered. "That thing Halycon, I remember too well. From his attack on Atrisia, which failed." The woman shrugged, "I was working there at the time as a ship engineer working to make ships for the Atrisian Empire. Though, not by choice. Now, that's a complicated story I won't get into. She just seemed to attack anything that breathed that didn't seem to be the exact republic she had. Which had she bothered to look at what Atrisia was, and how it behaved, it was so much like the Old Republic, it wasn't even funny. But alas ... I'll save the rant for another day. I'll just get too irritated."

She then nodded, "I get that. I very much do. Jedi aren't supposed to be soldiers that wage galactic wars. They are supposed to be diplomats. Not that Halycon had a clue how to do that."

Cora nodded, "Yeah, you are. You Coryth and a scant handful of others. There aren't many out there anymore. The good ones. And as horrid as this sounds, maybe the Republic needs to lose to the Sith to find it's way again. Sometimes it takes that level of shock to change things."

She then shook her head, "What a stupid being. Absolute idiot. But I guess that is what the once great order has come down to, a bunch of idiots." She then smiled, "Well, I'm glad not to be jailed. That's the last thing I really need these days."

She nodded again." That's easy enough to say. I just haven't a clue where my heart wants to go. I don't have much left in this galaxy. A couple friends. No family, and no sense of purpose since I've let go of seeking vengeance foolishly to avenge my family. I just really feel completely lost. And honestly I don't feel like me anymore."

[member="Joshua DragonsFlame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

Halcyon... That was a name that existed in his nightmares still. Through her militaristic stance, the Jedi became what they promised not to be. "Her only redeeming quality was... We nicknamed her the Grandbooty so that she'd have at least one aspect to her personality besides grumpy and ruthless" He cracked, and suddenly his lips twitched into a grin. And then he began to cackle - finally a bit of humor in all of this. "Schutta didn't have much personality beyond that. She was like a robot. A single-goaled, one-track-minded robot... So many times I had to be the voice of reason. Nar Schadda was the day that I realized the Jedi were serving a ruthless general and not a Grandmaster. When the newest Master on the council has to be the voice of reason because she wants everyone we've captured killed... There's something wrong."

But he would stop her after her last few statements. "No... The Jedi I served still burns bright, love..." He whispered, placing a hand on her shoulder, and for once, he flashed a genuine smile. "... The Jedi Order I love split off from the Republic. We gather, small in number. The Republic Knights are the ones who wronged me. They are Republic soldiers, only Jedi in name. But this Order, as small and weak as it is... Is perhaps our last hope. With them... Lies the last remnants of my dream. The dream that I had the day I became Grandmaster. The dream that I passed to the last Grandmaster before Shmi. And from her, that dream passed to Shmi. And now I return to assist Shmi, along with the last remaining Jedi who share that dream... To somehow fulfill it."

He let out a sigh as he put down his hand. "The Republic should lose... But not to the Sith. The Republic will lose, either way... Either to the Sith, or to another. But they play their role as military, for now. Keeping their military might at bay... It keeps them further away from enslaving planets. I would not wish their tyranny on innocent people. The Republic may not be our saviors... But they will serve as a distraction for the One Sith. The Republic do not wish to work with us, to bring the Jedi back to the way they were... They simply wish to rule over us, and we understand that. We will never serve them, or another government again. But the Republic will fall.

... I just hope that when they do, it's not to the Sith. The Sith have grown too powerful... If they grow with more influence with the death of the Republic... No shock will fix that. No shock will bring back the people who die under their thumb."

He shook his head.

"Besides..." He spoke as he looked out the window, biting his lip.

"... There is no fixing the Republic's Knights. There will be no wakeup call for them. All they know is violence... They will not give it up."

He stared down for a moment.

"... We are the only hope left."

[member="Cora Passek"]

 

[Cora Passek]

Cora laughed, "Well I suppose that counts for something. At least she had something somewhat decent going for her. A good toosh, I can get behind that." And yes, she'd chosen her words carefully. "That's about as far as it'd go." The woman shook her head, "A shame to have to realize that. I'm sorry you had to go through it. At least you had the sense of mind to get out."

She nodded, "Ah, I see. I wasn't aware of that." Cora smiled sweetly, "Well, I hope you get your dream. Not everyone does. So count your lucky stars that your dream still lives." Subtly suggesting hers didn't. But that was another complicated affair.

"It does in a way. I don't wish it on anyone else either. However, sometimes one must hurt before they can heal." Which entirely summed up her personal love life, but that was beside the point. "And I suspect they might need something like that to awaken them. That, though is going to take time. With the Sith breathing down their necks, it might happen. But, I have my doubts and I'm not exactly an optimistic girl, not anymore." No, that had gotten her hurt, too much, too often and she just couldn't be that person anymore.

"You say that about them. But look at me? Stars know how many people I've killed, how much trouble I've caused and violence I've been a part of. And here I am, trying to turn my life around. I may not know how to do it, but I'm doing what I can to figure it out. My life has been nothing but some hellish nightmare, from the murder of my family, with me living under the old Empire, loyal to them to that moment. Things can change, so can people." She shrugged, "I may not be the perfect example, of anything. But if I can realize what I was doing was wrong, stupid and foolish? Surely they can too. Because if anyone was as unlikely to change it was me. So, don't give up just yet. You have something I don't and that's hope for a better future. Don't let that die. Keep that hope, for the people out there like me, that have lost theirs. That are lost."

[member="Joshua DragonsFlame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

"I've been more then behind that" He would mutter under his breath, his eyes suddenly deciding to avert to the wall. Oh, the stories that he could tell when it came to the "Grandbooty" that DIDN'T have to do with dealing with her being more akin to a Mandalorian war chief then a Jedi Grandmaster, forcing other Jedi to parlay with her to spare lives and even then generally not being at all successful. It was Selena alone that had invaded the Fringe and dragged the Jedi along with her, almost plunging the Republic into war and dragging the Jedi along with that as well - before Joshua himself had intervened. But it was funny how quickly that the Jedi and Republic would forget that when they followed her way of thinking and stabbed him in the back. Still, what kinds of stories did he tell her? The times that Selena had tried to turn the Jedi into soldiers? Or the times that they - the council - had made jokes about her "good tush" and tried to find some kind of redeeming quality in their Palpatine? Or even the time that for some reason, someone on the Council had convinced the other members to take a break via a hot tub bath together, with skinny dipping allowed optionally - and had somehow involved the Grandmaster. While DragonsFlame, certainly at the time an adult, could find value in a good tush and did find great attraction in someone who did... The image of the bared and revealed "Grandbooty" quite literally pressed to his facial features was a mental image that he very much wished that he could forget. And even his "encounters" with more... Tolerable tush had not scrubbed that nightmare from his mind.

... Perhaps he wouldn't tell that story. The further back it was pressed into his mind, the better.

He let out a sigh when she talked of his dream. "It's a far fetched one, I'm afraid" He would admit quietly. "There are so few of us, as you would expect, with that vision... Without numbers, we're sunk. I don't know how long it will last. But I hope to make the best of it" He would add, biting his lip. He didn't know how long the Order would last, but he'd bust his ass to ensure that it made an impact on this galaxy. "As for the other Jedi... Well, their own wants and beliefs blind them. Pain will only bring them further down that pain, so I do not wish harm upon them. Blindness is punishment enough" He spoke, shaking his head.

"As for you..." He would trail off before facing her again. "Let me stop you there. If you have a dream, take it. Find it. Live it. You've suffered much, but... Well, so have I. And yet I'm still here. Trying. Even as things look bleak, I'm still going to fight until the very end to make it a reality. You're still young. Beautiful I might add..." He added, with that smirk crossing his lips again. "... And you're quite capable of making something of your dreams. You just have to do it. Just have to make the effort. Even if the end result is smaller then you like... Well, any impact on this galaxy is quite the accomplishment, no?"

[member="Cora Passek"]

 

[Cora Passek]

"Oh, I heard that." Now this she wanted to know more about! "More than behind it, eh? You're making a girl curious. Gunna make me inquire as to the dirty details of this sordid affair." She said with a playful wink. "Sounds like there's a real story there. Or is that one of those stories that you'd need a few more drinks to willingly share?" Cora seemed ever so hopeful that he might share with her the story behind that comment.

"It's still something. It's still something. Even if its only a tiny handful of you that's left, you never know what can happen." Oh, yes Cora could be hopeful for others, encourage others just not when it came to herself. "What about Jedi like Coryth? There's got to be more folks out there that have left the Republic Order behind are out in the wind. Surely they need a home to rest, people they can look to for support and help. It may not be much, but its something. And it could make a difference for someone."

Cora then gave a shrug when he brought up her dreams. "Thing is, I've been hurt enough chasing dreams.... There comes a point, at least for me, when its time to stop dreaming and pull my head out of the clouds. I learned a long while ago, my dreams ain't comin' true. Majority of my dreams died with my family. Rest of them, the cold realities of the galaxy have killed them one by one. I just, can't put my mind to another dream." Clearly she'd had one too many drinks tonight. Because this wasn't something she shared with anyone really. Cora certainly might regret the amount of alcohol she'd consumed in the morning, but right now, she frankly didn't care.

"It just hurts too much." She sighed quietly, walking over to a cabinet to pull out a fine bottle of scotch she'd brought along with her. "You're welcome to share." The blonde said softly as she brought the bottle and a couple of glasses along with her. "And you're also very sweet. Kind of you to say it. Been a long while since a man's made such a compliment to me. Thank you."

Sitting down, she opened the bottle and poured herself a glass, before offering the bottle to him. "Truth be told, I don't think much I do would impact anything in the galaxy. The best I am? A hired gun, a mercenary, possibly a maker of ships..." Though she'd not made a thing since she'd escaped Atrisia herself. That wasn't something she much liked to talk about. And making ships, only reminded her of what brought her to Atrisia in the first place. "Who just happens to have some force powers, that she doesn't have a clue what to do with, or even how to use really. Never mind where that knowledge came from. And while that has it's uses, I'm not terribly sure that any of them are that great."

Cora shrugged once more, and downed a good portion of her glass before leaning back in her seat. "I'm just not anything particularly special. Just ordinary. With a rather horrific past. I'll be lucky.... Hell, who am I kidding? I'm not lucky, with anything. But it would be fortunate and nice if I can just manage to pick the pieces of what is left of my life up, and put them back together. And live out the rest of my days decently." If only she had a small clue of what was laying ahead for her. She was far too harsh on herself, and perhaps too easy on others. She could always see the good in people, but not herself. No, she was tainted and incredibly critical of her own actions and choices in life. Blamed herself where no one else would dare.

[member="Joshua DragonsFlame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

Oh no.

He brought his palm to his face at that, and let out a sigh. But then a chuckle escaped his lips as he would playfully place his palm to her cheek, leaning in a moment only to whisper.

"It's going to take more then just a few drinks to get -that- story out of me, doll."

He was kidding around, of course. But intoxicated Josh might be more inclined to tell, he supposed. Because there was no way in hell he'd want to relive, much less talk about that sordid affair while sober. Noooo way in hell, indeed.

"I'd like to think there's more, but... Even ones like Coryth don't want to band together. I've already tried to talk to her about it" He would admit with a sigh. "Any Jedi I know are either stuck in these militaristic ways... Or want nothing to do with another Order. The end result is... There just isn't anyone I can find, darling. It's a shame, but... That's just how things are, and they won't change for a very long time" He would admit quietly, taking a seat and letting out a sigh, taking the offered scotch. He hadn't drank much yet, but the scotch would ensure that he was intoxicated quickly...

"Doll, if I had that mindset, I'd have given up long ago. And didn't you just tell me to keep pursuing mine, even if they're bleak?" He asked, shooting her a light smile as he would chug down the glass of scotch he'd poured from what she'd offered, with no hesitation. Oh lordie, he'd be drunker then... Well, anything, in no time.

"Besides... Truth is, fighting is what I do best. And yet... I'm the one lobbying for peace and not being militaristic. You're a great fighter, so what? It doesn't define you" He would add as he crashed on the couch, pouring himself another drink from the scotch bottle that I assume was left on a table nearby for them to pour from to speed along this drinking binge. "I'm not special either. But I'm still out there, trying to make a difference with what I have."

[member="Cora Passek"]

 

[Cora Passek]

Cora grinned, "Oh, now that can be arranged." There was a reason she'd brought the scotch out, that was for sure. At least she was being playful and seeming to have a good time. Well for the most part.

"Did you ask her why? Her exact reasons. Because I know she usually can hide her true thoughts away. It's hard to know sometimes." Cora gave a shrug and kicked up her feet on the coffee table after taking her shoes off. "Her answers might give you an idea to what others are thinking too. One never knows until they ask."

The blonde frowned deeply and sighed. "You've got a chance, and are a decent person. And at least you have a small idea of who you are, and what you want. I don't have any of that."

The girl sank down in her chair and gulped down the rest of her glass. For a long while Cora didn't say anything more, just stared at her empty glass. "And that, leaves me back at the question of who I am. My dreams and ideas used to be who I was. They aren't anymore. Life was simpler when I had some direction, some clue of where I was going and what I wanted to do. That piece of the puzzle is missing from my life. And maybe, maybe I just need time. Time to adjust, adapt and then maybe things will make sense again and I won't feel like I'm ten feet under water and upside down. Drowning. Lost, and drowning. I've got a job now, and sure it helps. Makes me feel a bit better." She didn't elaborate on what that was, nor did she plan to. Because that itself was a little complicated and not something she wanted to explain to outsiders, even with as many drinks as she'd had - that wasn't going to be something she spoke of any further for a while. "It still doesn't give me purpose, or direction. Just work and safety, perhaps a bit of comfort for the time being." But that's not going to last, it never does.

"Plus, I'd have to let go of being rather selfish, and self serving. Habits to break and all that." Again she shrugged. This time, she grabbed the bottle again and poured herself another. Clearly she loved her scotch and had gained some decent tolerance for it over the years. Still at the rate she was going, she'd be lucky to walk a straight line, much less speak coherently.

[member="Joshua DragonsFlame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

"Oh really now?" He would tease, shooting her a grin. If she wanted to try and intoxicate him until he told the story, he was welcome to it. It meant free drinks, after all, and he wouldn't feel so ashamed about telling the story if he wasn't fully aware that he was telling the story. It would save him from quite a bit of shame later on, right?

Riiiight?

"I honestly didn't press it because I didn't want to really bother her" He would admit bluntly, shrugging his shoulders. "The poor girl has suffered enough, don't you think? I just don't want to see her suffer anymore. And trying to push her on a subject like that, when she's had enough problems thanks to the Jedi in the past, it just doesn't seem right to do it. If she ever shows interest in the subject, I'll broach the idea again. But... I just don't want to put anymore strain on her. She's been a help, and a friend when I've been down and in my worst of ways in the last few years, the last thing I ever want to do is cause her pain. Or strain. Or anything of the sort. I just don't want to hurt her. I... I never want to hurt her. Cause her any sort of pain. She's dealt with enough, and if not pressing her means she can have her peace? Then that's a sacrifice I'll make."

He let out a sigh and tendered another glass of scotch. "As for who you are... That's up to you to find out. Your chains are broken, nobody controls you anymore. Only one that's in control of your destiny, love... Is you. You need to find who you are and act based on that. I can't do that for you, nobody can do that for you. That's something that you have to find. I'll help, in any way I can, if you need me. But... In the end, the way to who you are is your path to walk. Only you know what that path is."

He downed the scotch and poured another. "We can all be selfish at times. But sometimes... We gotta put our wishes aside and truly think about what's best for other people... Other people besides ourselves."

[member="Cora Passek"]