Adjudication [Elpsis]

[Laira Darkhold]

Laira woke from her slumber peacefully, probably one of the few times she had since Tephrike. Since her time on Tython the redhead knew what she had to do, and though there were probably others she needed to visit and set things right for, there was a reason this one had haunted her so. Why it had been one of the hardest parts of her trials.

She was afraid of seeing Elpsis again.

After everything that had happened, that she had done, that she had heard, Laira felt fear of the unknown in her stomach whenever her crush became the subject matter. What would she see? What would she say? And that was assuming Elpsis even agreed to meet with her in the first place. She had every right to turn Laira away without a word.

All Laira was certain of was that she had to confront it head on if she was going to follow the Jedi Path she had chosen. She couldn’t let that fear consume her and keep her from going to her friend any longer. She couldn’t keep making that mistake again and again.

The redhead rose and carried about getting ready for the day, showering, brushing her teeth. The mundane parts of life on a ship. Laira eventually dressed in what had become her usual attire, armor, belt, and cloak, leaving her quarters to find Saeza and Leo in the galley having their breakfast around the table while the droids watched over the ship. Saeza stood up and offered her a plate of eggs and bacon, “Here, made you some breakfast.”

“Thank you, but I’m not hungry. Give it to the human-garbage compactor there.” She jabbed her chin towards Leo, giving a half-hearted smile as she did. She’d not eaten before bed either, her stomach was in knots and she felt half sick from anxiety.

“You should eat.”

“I’ll eat after I’ve got my appetite back.” She waved the plate away despite Saeza’s sad look. “You’ll need your Masquer for this.” Grey lipid pools turned to the Death Trooper sitting at the table, “I’d like for you to stay on the ship.”

Leo grunted, lifting another strip of bacon to his mouth, taking a bite and chewing a bit before responding. “I figured. Should I keep the engine running?” He asked, only somewhat sarcastically.

“No, just chill out around the ship. Try and relax.” She wanted to be more reassuring, to say she’d be fine, but in all likelihood she would not be. “Rowdy, how long until we revert?” The droid beeped a few times signalling that it would only be a few more minutes until they arrived above Arkas. "Transmit our real codes when we get there. And be polite."

[member="Elpsis Kerrigan-Alcori"]

 

[Elpsis Kerrigan]

[member="Laira Darkhold"]

Once the codes had been received and found to be in order, the Rebel Outcast was directed to a landing pad in a nearby settlement called Freetown. The town had been founded to serve as a home for emancipated slaves following the overthrow of the corsairs and was under Firemane protection.

Meanwhile...

Elpsis had always enjoyed nature. There had been little green on Coruscant. It was a world of metal and machines. In an effort to conquer nature and prove their mastery over it, humans had created an abominable moloch that could not survive without air scrubbers, weather control machines and regular food imports.

Unlike many, she had seen beyond the towering skyscrapers, mansions and shopping malls. She had seen the slums that stood in their shadow. For much of her childhood she had lived in the dark places where the sun never reached, gangs held sway and ghouls prowled in the darkness.

Here in the grove, she had a refuge of sorts. Here she could be alone and let down her guard without fear of judgement. This place offered a reprieve from the memories of camps, torture and murder. It was just her, the trees, the animals, the Force. The Force flowed through every living being. They were all part of the Lifeweb. Her head was bent before a tree that brooded over a small pool.

It was quiet, save for the wind brushed against her face and the chirping of birds. She had removed her combat boots and her bare feet touched the ground while she meditated. Her eyes were closed, but she did not use them to see anyway. Free from distraction, she could perceive the strands of the Force; see the web that bound all life together. Every being, from the little lizard that was crawling over her hand, to the most powerful Master of the Force was just an element in a larger tapestry. It was all a cycle of birth, life, death and rebirth.

"Give me the strength to be brave and just," she said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. "To defend the innocent and smite the wicked." Duty called. She heard the sound of boots coming from outside the grove. Gently, she picked up the little lizard. It licked her hand, she petted it and set it down.

After slipping on her boots, she picked up her cane and got to her feet. Her gait was still slow. Perhaps the limp was partly psychosomatic, but it was there regardless. A heavy slug round had lodged itself in her leg during the ambush on Tephrike. Lack of real treatment had forced her to use the Force to extract the bullet and then draw upon elemental fire to cauterise the wound. It was one of many scars she bore. Her body was the mosaic of a battlefield. She had resolutely refused scar-removal treatments.

A tangle of thorns parted for her when she approached, only for it to close again the moment she had walked past. Natalie was standing outside. "Done with meditation hour?" she asked sarcastically.
Elpsis accepted the jab with good humour. "Everyone assembled?"
"All at parade rest. The Sithling is leading them in a rousing chant for Typho-something or some rot like that." There was no love lost between Natalie and Nyssa.
Elpsis suppressed a sigh. "I hope you're joking. Anyway, better get going. Thanks for letting me rope you into this."
Natalie shrugged. "I'm not saying no to a chance to give Force-users a reality check. Especially if I'm being well-compensated for it." Strictly speaking, she was not a regular Firemane employee. More often than not, she was contracted to do wet work for them. but Elpsis knew her - and trusted her.

Elpsis walked with a limp when the two made the trek back to the base. Once this island had been the domain of corsairs, who had pillaged the planet and enslaved its people. Then Firemane and the Eldorai had put them to the sword. A batch of Padawans had assembled on the base grounds.

Some Elpsis was familiar with from her labours on Tephrike. Rhea stood among them. Still awkward among the star people, but defiant. Determined to never again be at the mercy of anyone, especially not the Dominion's vile regime. A number of other Tephriki refugees stood with her. The group also included Tygaran and Arkas natives, Dahomians, Eldorai and various recruits who had been attracted by the promise of adventure, fame and fortune from the Rim or the Core.

There was murmuring and chatter in the crowd, but it died down when she approached. "Attention!" Nyssa bellowed. She had a good Sergeant voice and liked yelling at recruits. Like Elpsis, the Pureblood wore Firemane fatigues.

Elpsis took a breath. At least the recruits coming to attention in a more or less disciplined fashion gave her a moment to gather her thoughts. "For those who don't know me, I'm Mistress Elpsis Kerrigan-Alcori," she began. You wanted to lead. Now lead you shall, she reminded herself. Elpsis' damaged throat kept her from raising her voice without being in pain. Thus she relied on the Force to carry it and make herself heard.

"You're here to join the Order of Fire. Some of you want to make a career out of it, others are here to learn skills you can pass on to your people when you return." Her eyes lingered on the Tephriki and some elves for a moment. "Regardless of where you come from, as long as you're here, you're soldiers of the Order. The only distinction that matters is merit."

"I've been assigned to train you. I'll be teaching you, leading you, fighting alongside you. If you're here for glory and shiny medals, go. If you think this will be an easy road, go. We don't need summer children anymore than gloryhounds. Not all you will make it. Some will realise this kind of life ain't for you during training and flunk out. Some of you will die in battle. Maybe even your first."

She paused to let this sink in. She could not see their faces. But she could perceive their auras. She looked at each and everyone of them. One day, you'll lead them in battle. And you may send some to their deaths, the inner voice reminded her. As much as the thought revolted her, it was true. War was no fairy tale where the good buys beat the bad guys without anyone else getting hurt. But she would do her duty as best as she could. She would never be weak again. And she would make sure that they were not either. She would teach them to be strong and fierce.

"Some of you have seen war. You know what it is: hell, and that you must fight like hell to survive. Those of you who remain with us will become part of something bigger. Something with purpose. And when you're done you'll be masters of your own destiny. We'll remember those whose souls rejoin the Lifeweb - and avenge them. The road won't be pretty. It won't be easy. It'll be blood and iron. And it will be worth it. A blessing on the Young Flames."

 

[Laira Darkhold]

Rowdy beeped out a few responses from Arkas Aerospace Traffic Control, who sent a dedicated flight path and landing berth for the little freighter. “Alright that’s fine. Follow their flight path as directed.” Laira breathed out, trying to center herself and find the fiery core that she had what felt like ages ago when she had been helping the Galactic Alliance against the First Order, when she had ran away from home and joined the Resistance. It was deep within, just glowing embers now, choked by fear but it was there.

Saeza, now in the appearance of a teenage sephi or eldorai with bright eyes approached the redhead. “You should have eaten.” She whispered, awkwardly placing a hand on Laira’s back. She was trying to be reassuring and concerned, but Laira pulled the little Yuuzhan Vong’s hand up from her tailbone up to her shoulder, patting it when it was properly placed.

“I’ll be fine. This is important. She’s the only friend I really have not on this ship. I owe her my full attention.” For once. There were other things spinning in her mind, clouding her emotions, that she hadn’t had time to deal with yet. Just too many things happening all at once.

Leo called from the cockpit, “Beginning Landing sequence. Call me with any updates.” He was annoyed about being left on the ship, but it was probably for the best. The ex-Death Trooper was still coming off his bender after Laira’s disappearance and had become a bit on the protective side since her return.

“Come on, let’s drag the speeder out, we may have to travel for a ways to find her.” Laira swallowed, trying again to clear her mind of her own selfish pains and hurts. The pair moved back to the cargo bay where Laira’s vehicles were stored, jumping into her custom M-68http://starwarsrp.net/topic/138547-m-68-custom-landspeeder/, powering the vehicle on. Once the ship landed, the redhead pinged the cargo bay doors to open and pulled the speeder out of the bay, being careful to obey traffic laws.

Saeza arched an eyebrow at her companion, “So you are set on this course of action?”

“Yes.”

“And what if there is nothing you can do?”

“I don't know. I just feel like I have to do something.” Laira frowned, she’d been fighting back tears since Kuat, trying her best to remain stoic and focused. Her time since Tython hadn't been very long, enough to get her well-deserved bath and sleep and make one stop towards Kuat with some reluctance. She was still scarred from her battles on Azure and Tython, though she had every intention of having them removed putting things right with Elpsis was more important. Her left cheek had a scar on it, her shoulder and thigh were still scabbed and healing, albeit very quickly. Her stomach had a thick line across it where she had stapled the skin and muscle closed that would take time to fade even with treatments. “Still, I made this mess, I have to clean it up.” She clicked the comlink for the vehicle as they pulled out of the space port, “This is Laira Darkhold to Firemane Control, I’m looking for Elpsis Kerrigan-Alcori, please advise on her location.”

[member="Elpsis Kerrigan-Alcori"]

 

[Elpsis Kerrigan]

[member="Laira Darkhold"]

Laira would get a response after a short delay. The Firemane Control Officer had been busy making coffee after handling several calls from annoying rich tourists. "Firemane Control does not have the authority to provide information on the whereabouts of serving Firemane military personnel to non-Firemane members without consent. Lieutenant Alcori will be informed of your request. If you wish to contact the Firemane military, proceed to Fort Alcori."

xxx

"Your training consists of the following parts," Elpsis said slowly. "Force training, melee, marksmanship, survival in the wilderness and inhospitable environments. Not all of you will want to carry a lightsabre, but you'll all learn the basic principles of it so you can counter a glowstick-wielder when you have to fight one. You all bring different skills to the table. By the time we're done, you'll be able to pool them for the benefit of the group."

Her milky-white eyes darted towards Natalie. "Natalie Dorne will assist in marksmanship, piloting, demolitions training and other things. She doesn't have the Force, and doesn't need it to put a slug between a Force's eyes. Treat her with respect."
"I'll teach you how not to get killed when you suddenly don't have your fancy powers. And how not to treat them like a crutch," Natalie said without any false modesty.
"And this is Nyssa Vykaris. She'll be your primary melee instructor. Follow her instructions."
"Yes, that's right. Follow my every order, you maggots," Nyssa declared a bit smugly, "and..." she paused. No one would see anything, but she felt her hands getting a little hot. "And pay attention if you want to survive your first battle. I have no time for fools."

Having said her piece, Elpsis walked towards the crowd of acolytes. She knew some of the apprentices more in-depth, others from interviews, but most were all but unknown to her. Files could only tell you so much.
Her path first led her to the Rattataki. "Rhea," she greeted her. "Good to see you."
"I made a vow that I would learn to be as strong as I can be, and punish the Dominion and the Sith for their crimes," the young woman declared. There was a fire in her eyes. "And I will."
"They will pay," Elpsis patted her on the shoulder and moved on. "State your name," she said when she approached an Eldorai female. After all, she could not read the names stitched to their fatigues.

"Celaena Eilris," the young woman said.
"You're from New Solstace?"
"Yes." There was a note of defiance in her tone.
"There's something on your mind. Speak. Untreated wounds fester."
"I was one of those the queen and your mother left behind on Kaeshana."
There was murmuring in the crowd. Elpsis could feel that Nyssa was about to get cross. She raised a hand. "Yes, they did. That was wrong," she said calmly, but firmly. She held her gaze. "But then we fought for your freedom when the imperialists came. I was there."
"I know. So was I," the Eldorai said, just as firmly. "It does not undo the past."
"No. Why are you here and not with the Shadows or the other rebel groups?"
"Because a couple dozen despots without a crown are not much better than a despot with one. New Solstace is my home and Firemane calls the shots on Arkas. But I'm no lackey."
"Good. Then I'll teach you to be strong so you can stand up for your people. And you'll follow my instructions."
"Yes."

She moved on. The next person she engaged was a Vashyada. "Shikoba of the Redleaf Clan," the young woman introduced herself.
"A Vash. When I was...recovering from injuries, Lady Tylania was a great help to me."
"The Lady speak of you," the Vash's tone was enigmatic.
"All good I hope?" Elpsis asked rhetorically. "Why are you here?"
"To see the stars, to learn their mysteries, and to hunt our enemies slay them." She spoke very slowly, being evidently unused to speaking in Basic. "I am new to Basic," she admitted. There was some laughter, causing her to growl. Elpsis shot the source of the laughter a withering glare.
"Your Basic is a lot better than my Prosabia," she stated frankly. "So if my Prosabia and your Basic get better, we'll meet somewhere in the middle."

An arrogant looking Togruta addressed her even before Elpsis had got close. "I am Lady Sano Tahoka," she introduced herself grandly, with the air of someone who expected that to be a name everyone had heard of. "My mother is a member of the board. Surely you have heard of her."
"I haven't actually," Elpsis retorted.
The girl looked taken aback. "She is a great and noble contributor to Firemane. Truth be told, I am actually far too experienced to be a mere acolyte. I have been extensively tutored by the finest teachers, who have all been unanimous that my potential is second to none."
"Really?"
"Surely you can feel my power. See that I am bristling with the Force."
"So you're the next chosen one, huh?" Elpsis got closer. Close enough that their noses almost touched. "Chosen to get yourself shot and bleed out in a trench in your first battle because, guess what, you're no special snowflake. I don't give a frak about who your mother is or who your tutors were. If they produced a fool like that, they're clearly worthless."
"My mother will hear of this! I am...."
She did not get far because Elpsis gripped her lekku. Her grip was tight. More importantly, Sano's temperature would experience an uncomfortable rise. Nothing that would actually put her at risk, but enough to put her in a state of discomfort. The girl cried out. "A recruit. An acolyte. At the end of the totem pole. Until and unless I say otherwise. So you can either get the frak out and go cry to your mummy, or get a grip. Because I eat snobbish little chits for breakfast. Clear?"
"I..."
"Clear?" It grew hotter.
"Yes..."
"Yes what?"
"Yes, ma'am."
Elpsis let go. Without a further word, she went to the next recruit. This carried on for a while, until she was done. "We start with a run. In full gear."

 

[Laira Darkhold]

Laira breathed out, “Alright, will proceed. Darkhold out.” She responded to the message. She had hoped there wouldn’t be too many formalities, but she hadn’t expected to receive special treatment. One of the consequences her father had spoken about the day before, one that she would have to accept.

Saeza looked off to the side as the speeder accelerated off towards the Fort. “What is your plan if she will not see you?” Rowdy tootled a comment, a little rude but otherwise reaffirming Saeza’s question.

“I don’t have one. You’re the one who says a Jedi should never plan for failure.” Laira remarked, pressing the accelerator a little further. Surprisingly racing would have been calming by comparison for the little redhead. She would have much preferred an opponent she could see and beat than something that she could not change looming as her obstacle. It wasn’t something that could be made right, it was in the past. But maybe she could change things.

The elven-girl turned to face Laira as the wind began to pick up so that her voice would not be carried away. “Yes, but I also say we should be prepared and you never listen to that part.”

“I’m prepared to try unconventional methods, but not with you or Leo here.” There was a risk to her running across Arkas uninvited tracking Elpsis down, for one Firemane wouldn’t enjoy it in the least and there would be consequences. She wouldn’t risk such an act while her friends could also be held accountable. Laira was tired of her friends always being the ones to pay the bill for her deeds.

“Sounds like you may have to, but what would it prove?” Saeza asked, silently watching. For the Yuuzhan Vong, she was unsure why Laira had such a deep attachment to Elpsis, she’d never felt anything like it, even remotely resembling such emotions. For the young padawan she was learning, trying to find out what made Laira better than her? What made the redhead so firm and decisive?

“I don’t know. I'm not trying to prove anything. I'm trying to do something. For once, at last, finally. Take your pick.” Laira said, annoyance and anxiety in her tone.

[member="Elpsis Kerrigan-Alcori"]

 

[Elpsis Kerrigan]

[member="Laira Darkhold"]

Given her state of distraction, Laira might be unable to appreciate the landscape. Perhaps Saeza could derive some enjoyment from it though. Arkas was a lush, tropical world. There was a gentle breeze in the air, a cerulean ocean, trees and beaches. They would probably pass through Freetown during their journey.

The town was by no means rich. Laira would probably attract some attention with her fancy speeder. Public transport was more common here. The residential areas were prefabs. However, the people had jobs and were free from the master's whip. Farming was the most common enterprise. She would probably also pass Najim fields.

Eventually she would happen upon the Firemane base, assuming she followed the coordinates sent to her. It was a fairly standard prefabricated arrangement. Arkas was a fairly remote world and most of the threats it faced consisted of pirates and Kraal raiders rather than war fleets. However, the base possessed some intimidating heavy guns to deter aggressors.

xxx

As the acolytes assembled, Natalie caught up with Elpsis. "You good for a run?" the blonde-haired operative asked.
"Gotta maintain the figure, you know. I only like my arse being big and round," Elpsis said sarcastically.
She could not see Natalie roll her eyes. She could imagine it though. "And you got a shoddy leg."
"I'll keep up with the Force. I can't leg behind if I wanna set an example."
"Don't overdo it. Or drink too much from your Force cocktail."
"You know me. Alright, girls, let's get a move on," Elpsis ordered.

"You heard the boss, get your tits in gear! You're not in your fire-arse temple anymore," Nyssa declared in a louder tone just in case someone had not heard it. In all fairness, Elpsis' voice was not particularly loud. And Nyssa liked yelling at people. Anyhow, the group started running. Naturally Elpsis joined them at the front.

Of course, there were differences in pace. Rhea was the quickest. Elpsis could sense the Rattataki pushing herself, no matter the exertion. The girl had vowed that she would become strong and one day bring retribution to her enemies - and she would. There was a part of Elpsis that hoped Rhea did not go back to Tephrike one day.

She knew what would await her there. But the girl would. So would Elpsis. Shikoba was quick, too. The Vashyada were a hardy people, as they hailed from a forest where menaces lurked at every corner. Celaena was not bad either. Eldorai were known for agility, though not for endurance. But then the Forsaken tended to be a hardier lot by necessity.

Of course, there were those who lagged behind. Some Elpsis dealt with in an encouraging manner. Some fell to Nyssa, such as a certain Togruta. "Hey, princess, get your arse moving?"
"Let me catch my breath," Sano grunted, breathing in.
"High and mighty princess, can't handle a little sprint?" Nyssa asked her mockingly. "Wanna go run to your rich mummy and hide behind her skirts? Pity your name means sod-all."
"Piss off."
Then Nyssa grabbed her by the shoulder, using her cybernetic hand. She was not gentle. "Where I come from, weaklings like you were fodder. And we apologised to our pets for giving them poor quality meat like that." Was she being serious? Who knew. "So woman up and get the frak moving!" In any case, Sano was sufficiently motivated to catch up.

Further ahead, the group came across an old acquaintance of Elpsis. The former Jedi was dressed in a nondescript uniform and wore a Force nullifying collar. It had been suggested to put her in some form of prisoner's garb. Nyssa had been enthusiastic in describing it to Elpsis, making it look as humiliating as possible.

However, the empath had shot down the idea. The collar kept Diona from using the Force and was a permanent reminder of her status, but would not give her pain. Aside from wearing it all the time causing bruising, perhaps. Presently, the ex-Dominion Inquisitor was engaged in garden work.

"Hey, isn't that the Jedi chick? From that fundie Jedi world. I swear I saw that face at the briefing. The queen who hurt the Lt." one of the Acolytes, a Twi'lek, exclaimed.
"She is," a Dahomian confirmed. "My sister told me all about them. Those people there are nuts. They sent little kids to die to cover their own arses."
"And she hurt one of our own. Boss-lady went to war to save her kid...so why the hell is she still around?"
"Scuttlebutt is she helped her or something. Still, I wouldn't want someone like that around."
"She does have a collar..."
"You know not of what you speak," suddenly Rhea was at their side. She spoke in a low, yet cold and firm voice.
"Oh, yeah? You're from that fundie planet, too, aren't you?" the Twi'lek challenged her.
"And if you had grown up there, too, instead of being raised in safety, you would know better."
"You got no clue about me. I grew up on the streets."
"And I in a slave state. Diona was wicked, but she grew up with the same chains. The Lieutenant has her reasons."
"Girls, quit gossiping," Elpsis said in an unusually sharp tone. "You got one thing to focus on and that's keeping pace."
"I'm sorry, ma'am," the Dahomian said, looking quite embarrassed. Fortunately, her dark skin tone hid blushes well. "We were just..." she searched for words. "That woman did very evil things."
"Yes, and good things. A good deed does not wash out the bad. Nor does a bad deed the good. She's not a comrade, but you will be civil in her if you interact. No fraternisation, but no insults, no jeering, no abuse." That said, she pushed herself harder, pouring the Force into her muscles to run faster, forcing the rest to follow.

 

[Laira Darkhold]

The redhead turned the little speeder this way and that through Freetown, she could see the conditions of the settlement they passed through. She watched carefully for civilians and pedestrians as they passed through. She’d been on Arkas a few times before, she’d seen the world for all its tropical beauty and the nastier part during the outbreak of undead on one of the other island settlements.

Saeza had spent her early years in a place Freetown could have been had Firemane never come to Arkas, having not seen the sun of her homeworld for the first years of her life. It wasn’t until she was taken in by the Jedi Enclave that she had seen places like Arkas. And it was wondrous, much like the mountains of Alderaan she had the pleasure of seeing with Laira’s family. The Yuuzhan Vong couldn’t help but admire the landscapes, longing to go swimming out in the oceans and relax with the wildlife.

But for now, her friend had need of her. Laira probably wouldn’t admit it, but she could have come alone. The redhead didn’t need Saeza with her for this meeting, yet here she was, accompanying her anyway. Saeza mused for what that reason could be, quietly, still contemplating what made the redhead so decisive.

“Instincts.” She said allowed as they pulled up to Firemane’s prefabricated base.

“Hmm?” The redhead’s attention pulled over to the elven girl.

“Instincts. That’s what makes you better than me. It’s what I need to learn from you.” Saeza retorted as the speeder pulled to a halt in front of the base’s gates waiting to be let through the fence.

“If that were true, we wouldn’t be in this situation.” A pair of guards walked out, scanning the vehicle and the droid with handheld sensors. It was routine for the most part, looking for explosives, but the two Jedi only had Lightsabers on their hips.

Saeza flushed with embarrassment. “Well, yes. I mean, you have instincts at all, and you trust yourself enough to follow them. I do not.”

The guards finished their check, waving them through. Laira knew there would be a stop in a moment where they would be relieved of their Lightsabers most likely. “Tempering my gut decisions is one of the reasons B’rahk put us together. I’m not better, just on the opposite side of the spectrum when we both need to be somewhere in the middle.”

Laira pulled the vehicle to a stop at the designated area and disembarcked, helping Saeza with her astromech droid before the trio approached the main doors of the base. The big doors lead to the garage, where the walkers and other vehicles were kept and maintained where no doubt someone was waiting for them.

“Hmm. I shall meditate on this later. Still, you’ll have to teach me instincts.”

[member="Elpsis Kerrigan-Alcori"]

 

[Elpsis Kerrigan]

[member="Laira Darkhold"]

Elpsis did not want to admit it, but Natalie had been right. Strictly speaking, the pyromancer should not be running. Certainly not going on a long jog or leading the pack. But she had to. She could not expect to be taken seriously otherwise. So she pushed herself. She drew upon the Force to pour energy into her bad leg and strengthen her muscles. To force her leg to overcome its limp. To suppress the pain.

The longer they ran, the harder it grew. She grit her teeth. Just a bit further. Pain was just weakness leaving the body. On the battlefield, the enemy would not give you any do-overs. Just a bit further. By the time the group came to a halt, her leg had flared up in pain. She winced. She sure hoped no one had noticed.

In any event, running for several miles in the tropical meat was less than pleasant, so the acolytes were probably happy when they could finally come to a halt. Alas, there was not much of a reprieve for them. "You lot already getting lazy?" Nyssa demanded disparagingly. "Think again. You're just getting started, maggots."

"We start with melee," Elpsis said. "Nyssa, get them organised. Run them through some drills. Pair up. Switch partners at regular intervals." After all, in a real battle you did not get to choose who to fight, and you might have to fight under less than ideal circumstances. The ability to improvise and adapt was key to survival.

Weapons were handed out. The acolytes were wooden swords, though staff weapons were also available. "No lightsabres," the Dahomian girl from earlier muttered. "When do we get to learn how to use them?" She had perhaps thought her words were not heard, but Elpsis picked up on them nonetheless.
"When you're ready," the pyromancer responded simply.
"Um, I'm sorry, ma'am. I didn't mean..."
"There are no stupid questions," Elpsis cut her off. "Ask when something's on your mind. Don't automatically expect the answer you want though. And some you may not understand until you've experienced them." Every teacher had to be good at giving pithy answers. Regardless, the acolytes were paired up under Nyssa's somewhat abrasive direction. By chance or design, Rhea ended up facing Sano.

xxx

Meanwhile, the Dynamic Duo had arrived at the main doors of the Firemane base. The garage held a collection of vehicles, including airspeeders, trucks, walkers and IFVs. Some engineers were busy running maintenance on a walker. Someone had to perform calibrations, after all.

A Firemane soldier was waiting for the pair. She wore an olive green uniform with a lieutenant's rank bars. One imagined that she was an aide to Leonina. "Ms Darkhold," she said, "Brigadier Varkathras wishes to see you. Please follow me." She cast her gaze towards Saeza. As far as the soldier was concerned, the girl was an Eldorai or one of their off-shoots.

Two decades ago, an Eldorai working with a human without throwing a fit about her obvious superiority would have been a very rare affair. The exodus had changed many things. So had foreign invasion, occupation and the final destruction of Kaeshana. Today, the space elves were scattered.

Some bowed to the Queen, others did so nominally but did their own thing in practice, others had crowned different queens - the realm of one counter-queen was about as large as the entire Resistance after its escape from Craith - , others had done away with the monarchy altogether and joined a myriad rebel groups that often feuded, and others had chosen to try their luck with Firemane. A few had decided to just focus on their livelihood. It was all very Byzantine and, given the Eldorai's penchant for ideological hair-splitting, almost impossible for an outsider to grasp.

Regardless, the camouflaged Yuuzhan Vong looked like an Eldorai to the junior officer. "Your companion can wait in the cantina, if she likes," she added. The food had the quality one could expect from an army base. Elves were known to have a high metabolism.

 

[Laira Darkhold]

Laira smiled faintly, the kind given in greeting rather than in actual joy or happiness to see someone. The soldier waiting for them wore the standard Firemane colors with rank bars on her shoulder. “Of course.” The redhead nodded. There was a chance Varkarthras was aware of her real heritage. She’d told Elpsis and her mothers, who had agreed to keep the secret at the time, but that had been before, everything.

Saeza bowed at the waist, a standard Jedi greeting, following into step alongside Laira. Recently she’d taken to stop following behind the redhead when it occurred to her, probably in the hopes of training herself not to concede to Laira’s will without contest. The base itself was utilitarian, a theme Firemane promoted. They weren’t as bland as Imperials by any means, but the Kerrigan Clan did enjoy their sharp corners and efficient use of space. Not unlike the military quarters Laira had seen aboard the Scarlet Destiny when she had accompanied them to Tephrike.

When the four arrived at cantina, the soldier directed Saeza and Rowdy to wait there. “Thank you, but,” Gold eyes turned to Laira, questioning whether she should accept the offer.

“I’ll be fine. Go enjoy yourself.” Laira said, knowing her friend well enough to read her facial expressions. “I’ll come find you when I can.”

“Very well.” Saeza bowed her farewells, patting the droid for him to follow her. Rowdy tootled something, probably obscene, and then followed the elven-girl into the cantina. Saeza found herself a seat away from others to sit down, with rigid posture and seemingly in quiet contemplation while the Droid sat next to her.

With her companions cared for, Laira nodded to the officer. “Shall we?” She asked, gesturing for the Firemane soldier to take her to Varkathras’s office.

[member="Elpsis Kerrigan-Alcori"]

 

[Elpsis Kerrigan]

[member="Laira Darkhold"]

And so the trainees responded with varying degrees of enthusiasm. "I've already used a damn sword in battle," Rhea muttered to herself. This was beneath her. But she did not make a scene. There was a reason for this. She wanted never to be a victim again and she would compromise her place with childish outbursts.

"Ma'am, I think you will find I am already more than overqualified for this...demonstration," Sano declared a bit haughtily. Her tutors had given her top grades and they were the best money could buy!
"As overqualified as you are at running?" Nyssa asked. "Want to face me then?" There was a cruel gleam in her eyes that the Togruta flinch.
"I suppose it would not hurt to go through the basics briefly," she conceded in a somewhat sulky tone.
Celaena looked a bit resentful. I don't need this schoolhouse setting where monkeighs tell me to play with a wooden sword, she thought. However, seeing how Sano had been shot down, she made no comment. Instead she picked up a wooden sword and took her place among the group.

Shikoba looked more enthusiastic. "I have used blade and tomahawk in battle," she stated. "But doing it in such a formal setting is new to me. I am here to learn things I would not have experienced in Yarkul."
"And when we get to it, you can demonstrate some irregular tactics and how you fought with a tomahawk," Elpsis said encouragingly, which made the wood elf smile slightly.

Under the supervision of Nyssa, the trainees were run through some basic drills. A lot of military training was about breaking down the 'me' in a team. It was better to be disciplined than dead. Each trainee was paired up with another acolyte, and they were run through some basic steps and precise movements against each other.

Top left, top right, centre and so on. Parry, riposte. Again and again. All these movements were basic, but they had to become second nature to them. Putting them through the same task over and over again would also build endurance. Where needed, Nyssa or Elpsis intervened, admonishing trainees not to slacken or waste time with fancy flourishes.

Elpsis and Natalie found themselves standing together a good deal away from the pack. "Sonic projectors?" Elpsis asked quietly, voice very low. One had to be mindful of elf hearing after all.
"Set up and calibrated. Well out of sight," Natalie responded.
"Cool. The droids aren't gonna yammer Roger, Roger, are they?"
"They're so dumb that reprogramming them was tedious, so I removed their vocabulators."
Nyssa passed by them after she had finished yelling at a student for attempting some fancy acrobatics from a bad movie. "You should have just bought the droids I recommended."
Elpsis shook her head."Nyssa, they're Paddies," she said sternly.
Nyssa threw up her hands. "You lot are such bleeding hearts."
"Terrible metaphor since if we went with half your suggestions, there'd be a lot of literally bleeding hearts on the ground," Natalie said tartly.
"And lawsuits," Elpsis added. "There are still people who complain about Mother throwing very heavy blunt objects at people."
"Whimps." Nyssa's was filled with disdain.
"And if you get them all killed in the first training session, that means you cannot yell at them, break them down and build them up to something worthwhile anymore. I'll put them through hard poodoo when they're ready. No one's gonna be coddled, but I'm not gonna be mean just to show off how hard I am. If anyone here thinks a battlefield's a stroll through the park where they win because they're a snowflake, they'll have either gotten that poodoo knocked out of them or run back home."
"Fine, fair enough. You know what, you want to get them to grow up a bit and learn a bit about teamwork, take them away from this shiny island and put them through some survival training in the wilderness. No fancy gadgets, just them, some tools and the untamed wilds."
"That's a good idea," Elpsis responded after some thought. "We've got some people here with skills who'd thrive. And the rest can learn a bit about improvisation and hostile environments. Tygara and Dahomey have some good spots. So does...Terax." She was quiet for a moment. She remembered Terax. Simpler, carefree times. Before everything. Her jaw tightened. "Let's get them through the basics first," she grunted.

xxx

The Lieutenant led Laira through the main building. On the way, the Jedi would pass all manners of safety regulations on every wall. There were also some posters. One showed Siobhan Kerrigan pointing dramatically at the reader declaring 'Auntie Sio Wants You'. There were also advertisements for various special forces divisions and their training.

Eventually they came to a halt before Leonina's office. The Lieutenant stepped in front of the door and gave it a knock. "Ms Darkhold here to see you as ordered, ma'am," she said, then opened the door. The office itself was a utilitarian affair. Leonina sat behind a desk that was populated by reports and datacards. The Cathar was wearing an olive green uniform with her rank bars and the OOF symbol on her chest.

She disliked wearing medals, having once remarked that filling her chest with decorations made her feel like a tin-pot Imperial warlord. As a result, her only valorous decoration was the Phoenix Cross. "Thank you, Lieutenant. You're dismissed." The Firemane aide saluted and then stepped out, closing the door behind her. Leonina indicated a chair. "Sit down, Laira. It has been a while since Tephrike. I take it you're here under your rebel identity rather than your royal one."

 

[Laira Darkhold]

Laira followed the lieutenant through the corridors noticing the propaganda littering the walls of the base, one of the few things decorating the otherwise bare and utilitarian walls as the lieutenant guided her through the base. When they arrived she nodded to the Cathar in greeting, though they had both been at Fort Purity they hadn’t seen one another. This time Laira was bearing the scars from her ordeal on Tython, though everything but the jagged scar on her cheek was covered.

Then she frowned.

“The rebel one, I’m not a royal anymore. But I guess I should start looking into getting a new one and scrubbing the old one anyway. Not that it’ll matter.” She had hoped that the family had kept her secret, but she understood why they hadn’t. Her parents worked hard to ensure she didn’t jeopardize Alderaan’s safety while living her own life, but she had shared that secret with too many people, she’d crossed the wrong people and now the more who knew it the less secret it was. Laira realized she was one act from her identity being broadcast and the Sith and the Empire bombing her homeworld in retribution for all her deeds.

How many people had she jeopardized this time? How many millions might be hanging on her mistake? Maybe she should have died on Tython or Azure, it would have at least given her family a corpse to show she had died and maybe all the evil she’d fought against wouldn’t come down on them.

There wasn’t a good solution to this issue. How many people knew? The Board? Their Generals? All of Elpsis's other friends? And how many had they told, how many staff officers and secretaries knew? Even ditching the Darkhold Identity only protected them from future acts. Everything she’d already done would eventually come crashing down on Alderaan; Imperial Intelligence, the Sith Inquisition, her identity was information and that was something they could gather. Even her being exiled wasn’t going to fix it. Just something else she had screwed up without even realizing, but there wasn't any fixing this one.

“Anyways, you wanted to see me?”

[member="Elpsis Kerrigan-Alcori"]

 

[Elpsis Kerrigan]

[member="Laira Darkhold"]

Leonina nodded. "You should. We're far off from the Core, but some word of what's happening on Alderaan has travelled down the grapevine. For what it's worth, you and your people have my sympathies. Words are wind, unfortunately."

However, as Laira had correctly surmised, the Cathar Force Master had not summoned her here for a social call. "I understand you're here to see Elpsis. She's currently running training drills for acolytes. The past months have been difficult for her. Physically she's largely recovered. Mentally," she shrugged.

"She's been working with me since she was able to leave the hospital. You're a smart girl, Laira, so I won't beat around the bush. I'm here to evaluate whether you two having a meeting will be detrimental to her recovery or not." Her tone was not accusatory or angry, but matter-of-fact. She did not make a habit of getting involved in the personal lives of her subordinates, but this did not apply when the personal coincided significantly with the professional.

 

[Laira Darkhold]

“Thank you for your concern.”

Laira listened, or at least tried to. Her mind was racing and her chest was aching with worry. She didn’t notice her breathing becoming shallow, or her hands running through her hair, clutching her head. <Oh god.>

<Did they type a memo? Did they message the Imperials?> Her mind continued building, breathing turning to short bursts between utterances, “Oh god, I told the first girl I slept with and now everyone knows who I am. I couldn’t keep a secret that millions were counting on longer than it took to get in my pants.” Laira couldn’t focus enough to stop herself. She wanted to focus on Elpsis, on hearing about her friend, everything spent coming here had been for that, and now the walls were crashing around her world just as the iron walls of the Empire slammed shut around it.

<I trusted them!> her mind screamed. <I didn’t think they’d take out their anger at me on Alderaan. I should have known better! I should have decided I wasn't Laira Organa ages ago! Then I wouldn't have been lying and I wouldn't have been stupid enough to tell the truth!>

It was only a matter of time now. “Oh god, I’ve killed everyone,” she whispered, bending at the waist to clutch her ribs with her chest. “I pissed Sio off and now she’s told everyone so that my home would get burned for it.” Laira admittedly didn’t know much about Siobhan other than what Elpsis had told her, but the sentiment seemed logical.

She suddenly realized she was having a panic attack in front of the Cathar general. “I’m sorry, just give me a moment. I just found out I've killed my family.” It was hollow, but Laira was trying to focus.

It felt like Tephrike all over again. Like she was staring at the faces of all those children charging down the hill. Only this time, it really was her fault. The redhead focused on slowing her breathing. "So," She started, taking deep breaths between each word, "Let's focus on Elpsis, I'll have to come up with something. Maybe turn myself in to the Sith or declare a coup to draw attention away from my parents but that'll have to wait. Please, continue."

[member="Elpsis Kerrigan-Alcori"]

 

[Elpsis Kerrigan]

[member="Laira Darkhold"]

Leonina was rather taken aback by Laira's vehement reaction. She was equal parts perplexed and irritated. "Stop right there and control yourself, Ms Darkhold. No one here has done such a thing," she said sharply. She had a good drill instructor voice when needed.

"If you think Director Kerrigan is so petty that she would want your planet to be burnt because of Tephrike, you're very much mistaken. Firemane isn't friendly towards Imperials. Or Sith, for that matter." Unlike most Jedi orders, she thought with a trace of bitterness. Apparently these days it had not become uncommon for Jedi to openly aid Sith powers like the CIS in campaigns of conquest.

"Now I don't know how many people you've divulged your identity to, but Imperials are moving onto Alderaan because they're fascist scum, simple as that. Last we heard, the royal family is attempting diplomacy." It had been mentioned on GNN, at any rate. She got up from her chair, poured a glass of water and then put it down in front of Laira. "Now let us discuss things rationally."

 

[Laira Darkhold]

“Rationally? I don’t know you, but you know who I am. Who I really am. I told Siobhan, Tegaea, and Elpsis and that decision has put my world in jeopardy.” Laira wasn’t exactly rational at the moment. “It’s not their fault. It’s mine. I know that, but instead of being able to focus on what I did to Elpsis I’m kind of freaking about everyone I grew up with now on the chopping block for my mistakes!”

“No offense, but there are a lot of officers above Brigadier. And that’s not including staff officers who’ve overheard. Or Directors from Firemane and their secretaries, people they’ve told at the water cooler. Masters in the Order of Fire.” She rubbed her eyes hard, gasping in frustration and stress. She was trying to come up with solutions, but she hadn't even managed to think of how she was going to make everything up to Elpsis, much less keep the Imperials from finding out the Princess of a world asking for favors was fighting against them and killing their soldiers. “It’s not about intentions, it’s out now. Maybe Director Kerrigan has no intention of telling anyone other than you, but the lives of everyone on Alderaan are now in someone else's hands because I told her about me. It’s out now and it’s only a matter of time until it finds its way to the Imperials.”

She gritted her teeth trying to focus on all that she had learned on Tython. Action makes a Jedi. “Maybe if I turn myself in, they’ll show leniency to my parents. Maybe my parents can head it off and make my exile official rather than off the record. I don’t know, all I know is I’ll have to fix that mess too. Even if it kills me.” Selflessness, focus on the task at hand. She had to resolve and focus on one action at a time.

Laira’s breathing was picking up pace again, but she was finding her resolve. “Just, like I said, let’s focus on Elpsis. That’s why I came here. I need to make things right with her after everything," the redhead paused, tensing her muscles. "I didn’t do.”

[member="Elpsis Kerrigan-Alcori"]

 

[Elpsis Kerrigan]

[member="Laira Darkhold"]

There were a number of things things Leonina could have said, some of them more ill-advised than others. She did not know Laira well, but had the suspicion that the girl had been loose-lipped when it came to her true identity. Furthermore...Laira the Princess and Laira the Rebel shared many details that could help Sith and the like connect one to the other if they cared to look. It was just the thing to do for a good-hearted and idealistic, but also brash and sheltered, teenager.

However, unlike some of her peers, Leonina knew how to pick her battles. The girl was agitated and coming down from a panic attack. Agitating her further to prove a point would help no one. Ergo, she remained calm. "Ms Darkhold, you need to compose yourself if you want to see Elpsis. Otherwise your panic will unsettle her. Can you do that?" Was focusing on her subordinate first selfish? Possibly, but she had a responsibility.

xxx

Again and again, the trainees were run through the same drills. When they showed signs of frustration, slacked off or deviated, they were called to order. It was tedious, it was tiring, but it built up endurance and taught them discipline. When they were in a real fight, these moves would have to become instinctual.
Finally, Elpsis called them to order. "There are no do-overs in a fight. No second chances. It's just you, your buddies and the enemy. When that time comes, you must fight tooth and nail. You must act - on instinct," she elaborated.

"Battles are won by many people working together, not by one special snowflake hero. The lone lion dies, but the pride survives," she said somewhat plagiaristically. She pointed towards a stack of weapons. Nyssa was standing there. "Pair up. One of you will get a shield and staff, the other a pistol."
"Are we fighting each other now?" Rhea asked. Her blood demanded something to hit.
"No," Elpsis responded laconically. "Shieldbearer covers, gunslinger shoots." She had not wholly come up with the idea on her own. Her friends had helped. The Order of Fire did generally not use shields, outside of some special units, but the Angelii made ample use of them and they could be helpful for teaching a lesson.

Once again the trainees got organised, being paired up with their last partner. Nyssa ordered them to form a line. Each trainee either received a shield and an electrostraff or an ion blaster. The Vashyada grumbled about the staff being easier to use with both hands free. Rhea found herself carrying a staff weapon and a shield. Both felt heavy in her hands. Even as they were getting organised, they could hear the sounds of marching coming closer.

Then B-1s emerged from their hiding spots. Plenty of B-1s. Thankfully, they did not chant Roger, Roger, but other than that they were pretty much the same as the hordes of mechanical cannon fodder the Trade Federation had unleashed on Naboo for poorly defined reasons centuries ago. Their blaster rifles spat bolts. Each was set on stun, but the pain setting had been amped up and they had a high rate of fire. The air was filled with the whine of scarlet bolts.

Some trainees groaned and stumbled, others sought cover behind the shields and stood their ground, stabbing or shooting. Rhea was struck but anger surged through her. Pain was what amped her up. "Come on, princess," she grunted at Sano, who had been paired with her. To her credit, the Togruta was actually good with a blaster. Rhea raised her shield, bashing droids that got close or using her staff as an improvised spear. She drew upon her fury as the bots closed in. Little did the trainees know that Natalie had set up sonic projectors...

 

[Laira Darkhold]

“I’m sorry,” Laira repeated, working on getting her breathing and heart rate back under control. Focus. Resolve. “It’s just when I told Elpsis and her mothers I had thought they wouldn’t have put it in a memo. We didn’t even tell my grandparents or the royal guard.” She’d told a few, but really just the Kerrigans and a pair of eldorai, but now it had spiderwebbed however far it had.

Laira felt the crushing responsibility for her actions. “I would request that the information be purged from any databases immediately and that no one else be told, I understand if they don’t care for my requests. If not for me, for the millions who call Alderaan home who are now at risk if the information were ever to fall into the hands of the Imperials.” That was about all she could ask of them. Still she wondered how many of Firemane’s upper echelons had been told, how far the secret had been leaked. If it was too far, there’d be little reason for Laira to continue living, much less trying to be a Jedi Knight. Stupid mistakes from her past still catching up with her.

She breathed deeply, wiping her eyes. Her chest still ached, there had been just one too many massive revelations in the last few days for her poor soul to keep her cool. “Sorry, its just, in the last few days I’ve been left to die on Azure, trapped on Tython, exiled from my home, banished by my family, my homeworld occupied by Imperials, and realized my home is in serious danger because I have divulged my identity to people.”

The redhead closed her eyes, searching her spirit for her calm center, struggling to find it for a moment. Another deep breath, trying to put her other worries to the back of her mind for the time being. “I came here long overdue.” She opened grey lipid pools to observe the Cathar. “I let fear corrupt me, drive me away from Elpsis, and then have me flee halfway across the galaxy so I wouldn’t have to face the consequences for my actions.” One hand fluttered up to touch her scarred cheek, a reminder perhaps of what had finally set her on this path. “That has to end now. I need to do something. I need to apologize, to help her, to do anything for her. I need to serve her some form of penance. I let down someone I love because I was afraid.”

<I’m still afraid, terrified now. But I can't let that stop me anymore.>

[member="Elpsis Kerrigan-Alcori"]

 

[Elpsis Kerrigan]

[member="Laira Darkhold"]

The B-1s were not particularly intelligent or even tough. They were cannon fodder droids that their owners could deploy en masse without worrying about costs. But there were many of them and they were reasonably accurate with their blaster assault rifles. Moreover, many trainees were out of their element.

"I should be the one carrying the damn shield!" Celaena cursed while she fired her ion pistol, taking out one of the bots, which was soon replaced by another one. She cursed when a shot grazed her cheek. Alas, her shieldbearing companion Shikoba, was unused to this style of warfare. Vashyada were more irregular fighters. "You're doing it all wrong."

"Well I'm carrying it now, mighty Eldorai, so be quiet and let me concentrate," the Vashyada retorted angrily. The battle shield felt heavy in her hand, especially since she was also holding a long staff. She would be doing far better if she could just drop the damn thing and swing the staff. Blaster bolts peppered her and it almost fell from her hand.

Once she raised the shield too high to block a bolt coming for her centre of mass, and was struck in the leg. It was only a stun bolt, but it still hurt. Another round hit her. When she fell, the shield hit her in the face. The ground was also muddy and she lost her footing, stumbling. The Vashyada cursed in her native tongue when droids closed in.

Celaena sprung into the breach, firing but was soon being swarmed. Angrily, Shikoba whispered an incanation and the roots suddenly rose from the ground, restraining droids. She did not have the fine control of a master to restrain them for a long period, but it gave Celaena time to shoot. Getting to her feet, Shikoba grabbed the electrostaff. Wielding it like a spear, she pierced a droid, with the electrical shock causing it to shake. Then she grabbed the shield and blocked a strike, the blaster bolt bouncing off her shield. "I believe I understand now!"

Each droid that came close made Rhea angrier. She was not the strongest. Shield and staff felt heavy in her grasp. Still, she persevered. Being on defence felt awkward to her. She was more used to being the fury. Wielding the shield more like a club, she bashed droids or carried out rim strikes. Apparently Sano had not been lying about her training, for the spoilt princess turned out to be a good shot. Perhaps she should pay more attention to her. But there was always another droid.

Elsewhere, Reverence and Sienn were holding their own. Their movements were not the most fluid, but they cooperated well enough. Reverence was on defence, Sienn was shooting. Then suddenly the sonic projectors were activated, just when it looked like the trainees would be pushing the machines back.

The air was filled with a loud sonic shriek. It was powerful enough to carry across the 'battlefield'. Enough to make trainees feel as if their eardrums were about to burst and force them to their knees, clutching their ears. The frequency of the devices had been toned down in order to keep trainees from actually suffering serious injury that could put them at risk. It was still painful. The droids, unaffected by the sonic burst, closed in on disorientated, struggling students. A number of them were stunned by blaster shots.

Rhea lay on the ground. Her head felt like someone had applied a club to it. She struggled to hear anything. She could hear the droids advance, but it was faint. Dimly, she heard her fellow trainees groan. Her head hurt - and she was angry. She had enough of these motherfrakking exercises.

Anger pushed her to get up. Lightning coursed across her palms, then a burst shrieked from her fingertips. Rhea was inexperienced and it was strong enough to cause her pain. She did not care much. It struck droids. Grabbing her electrostaff, she swung it about to smash into droids before thrusting it into a machine whose circuits had been disrupted by the lightning.

Machines focused on the Rattataki. Stun bolts struck her, she staggered, but drew on the pain. A shot from Sano saved her from a machine that had picked up "Rally on me!" she yelled, though she was not quite sure why or knew if anyone would hear her. Either way, amidst the chaos, some of the trainees did. They formed what passed for an improvised shield wall. Elpsis watched the display from the rear.

xxx

Leonina gave a curt nod to Laira's request. Then the conversation drifted back to Elpsis. "You feel guilty because you did not go after her. To let oneself be overwhelmed by fear is a dangerous thing, especially for Force-users. It impairs judgement," she stated.

"But what happened to Elpsis would have happened regardless of whether you came to save her or not. By the time we had located the camp and started our assault, the damage had been done." Laira probably knew this intellectually, but hearing it from someone was another matter. "And since you did not, it is probably for the best that you waited until now to meet her as clearly you have not dealt with your own demons to face. It would have gone poorly."

 

[Laira Darkhold]

Laira sighed deeply, trying to take in what the Cathar was saying. It did make some sense. “I’ve been dealing as best I can. I sought out help, I went and found people to support me, and I started working on dealing with everything that happened on Tephrike. Purity,” She paused, closing her eyes to hold back tears. Laira had managed to put that behind her, to drop the yoke of that burden down and carry on. Some things deserve to be mourned, but weren’t her fault. It didn’t mean the sorrow wasn’t there, only the guilt had to be left behind.

“It hurt me. The children, and how I handled them, was a lot for me. Is a lot for me. I felt responsible, like I should have been able to do something for them. I still wish I had been able to, but I know we didn't kill them now. I don’t think I could have handled asking for her forgiveness before now, and with everything happening since starting to become a Jedi, I admit I’m not as resolute as I’d have hoped to be.” She breathed in, still focusing on her center and keeping her wits after she had lost it a moment ago. She was tense, and the redhead would certainly need some time to calm down before confronting Elpsis directly. “But I don’t know that I couldn’t have saved her.”

“I snapped from Azure to Tython in an instant. I’ve travelled from Bothan Space to Vendaxa in the blink of an eye. I don’t know how, but maybe I could have done something.” Laira knew that she couldn't control her power, and that it was so taxing on her body that at best, she had suffered a seizure, at worst her heart had stopped. It was just the belief that maybe she could have pulled off a miracle. She frowned not reaching out in the Force, her presence not expanded or searching for others, but she could feel the faint presences of familiar faces she had known in another life in her mind's eye. “Even now I can feel a familiar presence, and maybe if I had begun learning how to control that or limit the side effects, I could have grabbed her and gotten back. Maybe if I had not been so afraid of finding her dead and losing control, becoming a monster like my father, I could have sensed her and found her sooner. Maybe there was something I could have done, but we will never know now. And we need to resolve that. I failed her, because I was afraid.”

She smiled, a hollow, half-hearted smile. “Failure’s in my blood. That’s why I decided to become a Jedi, so that maybe I could make a difference and change, but I made my choice too late for her.”

[member="Elpsis Kerrigan-Alcori"]

 

[Elpsis Kerrigan]

[member="Laira Darkhold"]

The fight went on for a bit. The improvised shield wall had gaps and it showed the inexperience of the trainees, most of whom were fighting at each others' side for the first time. But it provided a good barrier for the blaster salvoes. Seeing an advantage, the trainees charged their foes. Finally the last of the non-Roger, Roger chanting B-1s had been taken down. It would be a bit of a mess to clean up. But letting a bunch of droid wrecks lying around would go against Firemane environmental regulations. Regardless, the trainees stood above a bunch of wrecks.

Elpsis stepped forward to address them. "Good work. Rhea, I like your initiative. You showed leadership and got your buddies to rally. A battle's not about one person scoring kills, it's about the group," she started with praise. "And you need better control. Keep a tighter rein on your anger."
Rhea glared at her. "It's what kept me going."
"Yes, and in a real fight it might have gotten you killed. It's a tool, not your master. Be the eye in the storm."
The Rattataki glared at her, before nodding reluctantly. "Yes, ma'am."
"Celaena, Shikoba, you were out of your comfort zone, but that's the point. You adapted."
"I'm actually trained with polearm and shield. It would have been better for the group if I'd been allowed to use it," Celaena did not fail to point out.
"And in a fight we don't always get to choose. You can your buddies how it's done in future sessions."
"Frankly, I prefer our way of fighting," Shikoba stated. "But I'm here to expand my horizons. Perhaps I will soon be better than the Eldorai."

"Sano, your aim is decent," Natalie remarked.
The Togruta puffed herself up a bit. "I do not wish to brag, but I've won many awards for my markmanship...ma'am," she added the last word almost as an afterthought, as if part of her rebelled against addressing a squib as a superior.
"It shows. Marksmanship contests are against targets that don't fire back and give you time to line up for the perfect shot. A real enemy doesn't. You wasted time by aiming for headshots."
"It is the most efficient way to eliminate a target."
"And you were in the middle of a fight with little cover. Centre of mass, nine times out of ten."
"Yes, ma'am," Sano said sullenly.

Elpsis had made a few more rounds singling out specific trainees and commenting on their actions. Where possible, she tried to find something positivie or at least encouraging to go with criticism, but she did not coddle either. They might dislike her for it, but it would do them no favours if they left without getting some reality knocked into them. She was far from perfect. Indeed, impulse control was still something she struggled with. In that regard she shared Rhea's issues. But she would do her best. No, I must do more than my best. "Alright, let's take a break. Twenty minutes. Then Natalie will be supervising marksmanship training."

xxx

There was a part of Leonina that felt for Laira. But also one that was getting a bit irritated with her being so...melodramatic. "There is no 'too' late if you are willing to work for what you want to achieve," she said simply. There were two ways to interpret this response. "You can dwell upon past mistakes forever, or acknowledge you did wrong and do better in the future. Perhaps you could have done something, perhaps not."

"I do not know how your teleportation gifts work exactly. But I imagine they are extremely tiring and require an awful amount of fine control to keep things from going horribly wrong. It is pointless to hope for miracles." In terms of skill set the Cathar was a pretty conventional, old school Force Master. "If you tried to swoop in and died, your parents would have only gotten you home in a bodybag. We assaulted the camp with a large force and our attack coincided with a prisoner revolt, and we still had quite a fight before we broke through."

"That incident with the Younglings was a...mess. But their blood's on the hand of the Dominion. The Xioquo's matriarchs did similar when our troops stormed the Underealm. Sometimes there are no good choices. Just a host of bad ones and you have to pick the one that's the least bad, even if you hate it and hate yourself for it. The alternative is giving up and putting your lives in jeopardy long-term."