Adventures of Space Dog (Open to Anyone)

[Har]

Being a dog is actually quite boring. All one ever does as a dog is sit around, eat things which are typically not meant to be eaten, use the bathroom (then get yelled at for it), chase that stupid little karking fuzzy guy attached to your backside, and sometimes you get to bark; this can be done for your amusement, communication, and the annoyance of sentient beings. Lacking sentience is one thing that makes dogs boring, in fact. They cannot think, dream, or admire the galaxy around them. For those of you who wish you were dogs, don't even think about it. Being a dog is totally, and undeniably boring.

Unless you're a Space Dog. In which case, you do all the same stuff mentioned above, but in space. That alone makes being a Space Dog far more exciting than being a regular dog.

Today, our resident Space Dog was just beginning his adventures in this galaxy, he wandered the lowlife streets of Coruscant, in search of something exciting. Maybe he would make some new friends, maybe new enemies.

Either way... *Que Non-Sapience* Dog does not know, dog is only dog.

 

[Snarykk]

Slowly, he stumbled out of an alleyway, desperately attempting to drag a body of a Chiss out and onto the street. Grunting in exhaustion and agony, he yelped, angrily stalking over to the corpse's head, flailing his arms like the small, Ewok maniac he was. With a swift kick, he struck the corpse in the jaw, stalking back over to the Chiss's boot, lifting it into the air, and unsuccessfully attempting to drag it.

Due to the Ewok's frustration and exhaustion, you could hear his obnoxious yelps and cries half way down the block. His bowcaster tossed beside him in the alleyway, he stared angrily at the corpse, shaking his head as he sent another kick into the corpse's groin, leaning against the alleyway wall in frustration.

[member="Har"]

 

[Edward Blake]

"What the hell did I just step on?"

Blake woozingly looked at the bottom of his boot. Was that crap? Looked like it. Smelled like it. Oh boy.

The Comedian sat down by the steps of a cantina and sighed, burping up a cloud of pure alcohol fumes that would've made a rancor cry. He was drunk. No, that was too mild of a word for the description of his state.

He was wasted.

Blake moaned to himself, placing his head between his hands. This night sucked. He had hard flashbacks earlier, vivid detail and everything. Normally, the booze made things better. But not tonight. It may have dampened the memories, sure, but he was downhill on an emotional rollercoaster. He went to bar to bar, drinking until they kicked him out, then going to the next cantina. Eddie cleared this block full of establishments out already. So now he was wandering around the Undercity, drunk and out of it, emotions churning like the alcohol in his stomach. Yup, he didn't think it could get any worse.

And now he had dog crap on his boot.

Edward peered up to see the mutt, through watery and shifting vision, expectingly looking at the drunkard in front of him. He weakly moaned out to the pooch,

"Laugh it up, mutt! Laugh it up at the Comedian! Har har har!"

Damn, that was ironic. And pitiful. Blake looked like he could use a little dog affection as he buried his head in his hands again.


[member="Har"]

 

[Har]

After witnessing an Ewok desecrate the body of a dead Chiss, Har joined him.

"Dog will urinate on blue person's boot, ensure Ewok can get good grip." He said in doguese.

Har trotted over to the small, bear-like creature. He looked him in the eye, raised his leg, and peed like three pints on the Chiss' boot.
There, job done. Another satisfied sentient.
Afterward, his dog senses began to tingle, he felt the presence of a nearby human who seemed... Sad. As any dog would do, he immediately sought out this person, found them, and identified the problem.
This poor unfortunate soul had stepped into some of his feces from earlier that day. In order to appease the human, Har decided to play the 'I didn't do it' card. Puppy eyes included.

"Dog is sad because you are sad because you stepped in another dogs poo." He whined. "It was not dog's poo, it was another dog's poo, dog hasn't even smelled that poo before. Dog is sorry you are sad."

Har laid his head on the knee of the man, who had an unusual scent about him.

 

[Har]

Dog forgot to tag [member="Snarykk"] and [member="Edward Blake"] dog is sorry.

Read post above

 

[Edward Blake]

Blake felt the head of the dog resting on his knee as he tried to empathize with the man. He drunkenly petted the pooch, scratching behind the ears. He was a good friend, that dog. Eddie decided to lay down his problems on the mutt.

"I doubt you've ever killed a man. I've killed *hic* a whole ton of guys, girls. *hic* I even...I even killed kids, man, but that was war!"

Tears started openly flowing from his eyes now.

"I'm not even talking about clean deaths...I'm talking about slow, painful chit. The Sith would be proud if they saw what I did. That whole uproar a couple years ago, that one where those hippies were trying to get me court martialed...they were right. I should be rotting in a cell for the rest of my life for what I did...those kids, man, the way they smelled when...when..."

The Comedian was full on sobbing now, cries buried in the hard parts of his gloves. Veterans have it hard, huh?

[member="Har"]

 

[Snarykk]

As he watched the dog, his eyes went wide and his nostrils flared. He examined the dog, shaking his head in disbelief. Once the dog took off, the Ewok proceeded to scurry after him. After only making it a foot or two, he spun around, waddling over to the corpse. Placing his hand on the boot, he slowly began to pull once more, still unable to drag the corpse outside of the alleyway.

Shaking his head in frustration, he quickly wiped the dog's urine on the alley wall, he quickly stumbled over to his lightweight bowcaster, slinging it over his shoulder. As he shuffled back over to the Chiss, he fell to the ground in a seated position, obviously baffled. Slowly, got back up to his feet, spinning around and sprinting back down the street.

[member="Edward Blake"]

[member="Har"]

 

[Ibby]

[member="Snarykk"] [member="Edward Blake"] [member="Har"]

"Yo hooo Yo hooo, another bottle of ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!" No, that caterwauling was not the result of some poor feline being run through a blender. Nor was it the battle cry of some ferocious creature, ready to rip the limbs off of the denizens present and scatter their remains to the wind (but that would be cool. A little gross, yeah, but cool, too).

In fact, it was the result of a certain silks-and-textiles merchant (Crix) imbibing one too many drinks (i.e. rum, whose alcohol content she was in the process of commending) as the result of selling a cloth (Ottegan silk, to be precise) to a wealthy client (a senator from an imprecise location), thus earning enough money to get Crix drunk, and barely make a dent.

"To infinity, and rum!" Another swig, another cackle.

And, miraculously, the drunken foot of the drunken merchant (and part-time smuggler, thank you!) narrowly missed stepping on another landmine left from a creature whose name and doglike appearance shall not be directly made apparent.

Instead, in an effort to avoid the adorable little teddy bear that was running away, Crix stumbled forward until she did an awkward half-roll, half-collapse onto the pavement. "Hey, little man, don't be upset! Just 'cause you smell like pee doesn't mean we don't looooooooooooooooooove you!" The Mirialan snickered loudly before picking herself up.

She meandered on a little farther, continuing to horribly butcher the lyrics to the song she was attempting to sing. It wasn't long, though, before a most peculiar smell assaulted her drunken nostrils. Squinting her emerald eyes, Crix realized the smell was coming from a big burly man and a cute little dog.

Grinning a sappy grin which only emerged when her brain was sopped, the young woman plopped down next to the fellow (though she leaned away a bit as the stench was a bit more pronounced). "Heyyyoooo there, my sad old brother! Have a bit of rum to cheer you up!"

 

[Edward Blake]

Blake perked up at the mention of rum, seeking to make the memories even more washed out with a wave of alcohol. He looked up next to him and gasped.

The effects of the alcohol and the blunt trauma of the emotional beating that his memory had given him changed his vision. The green eyed Mirialan beside him looked like an angel, beautiful to the point of perfection. Blake had become like a teenager again, dumbstruck by her and suddenly awkward. Eddie's mouth went up and down, but no audible sound came out. He finally managed to speak after a long moment.

"Uh...uh...ergh...hi."

The Comedian blushed and looked down at his boots, trying to think of something else to say. Oh, my, was this love at first sight?

"Uh...I'm, uh, Eddie. Did you...er...say rum?"

For being the pinnacle of masculinity and machismo, Blake had gone down to the levels of the lowly teenage boy. Alcohol does that to you.

[member="Crix Aigee"] [member="Har"]

 

[Har]

Dog is incapable of speaking human, and is unaware of of what [member="Edward Blake"] is saying. But dog enjoys being scratched, so dog will listen.

Meanwhile, the angry ravings of a fussy Ewok could be heard in the distance as another, more wobbly human (you all look the same to Har) sat down next to sad human.

Sad human became less sad all of a sudden, and then transformed into awkward human. While wobbly human was oblivious to the current situation.

Dog felt as if these two humans need help. Dog began to do tricks such as the infamous 'roll over' and 'beg' in an attempt to make the humans conversate without losing interest in dog.

[member="Crix Aigee"], [member="Snarykk"]

 

[Ibby]

[member="Har"] [member="Edward Blake"]

Spoiler

xD I luv u gais. Definitely adding y'all as buddies!

Crix grinned at Eddie, oblivious to the sudden shift in his manner. While this just might be chalked up to drunkenness, there was no guarantee that she would've completely noticed sober. Then again, the gentleman wasn't very subtle about it. "Well hiiii there, Eddie! Name'sh Crix, Crix Aigee; I sell shtuff! Like cloooooooooooooooooths and the likes." She waved the rum bottle around, still grinning. "You have got to try some! Here!"

The Mirialan shoved the bottle at the man, dropping it with a soft plink onto the step they were sitting at. "And puuuupppy, you should try some, toooooo!" The dog began to roll over in such a manner that it sent Crix a'giggling, and when she started to giggle as a drunk, it often led to hiccups. Which led to more giggling. And more hiccups.

Vicious cycle, wasn't it?

A'giggling and a'hiccuping, the young woman attempted to pet the dog. Of course, being drunk, it looked more like she was a blind beggar searching for a coin. Tongue stuck out, and a'squinty-eye'd, she hic-grunted, "Ah *hic*, c'mere Y*hic*ou!"

 

[Eric Quill]

[member="Crix Aigee"] [member="Har"] [member="Edward Blake"] [member="Snarykk"]​

[[OOC: Don't worry, I won't cause a fight this time..hopefully ]]​

Rum, as good as it was..couldn't wash anything away, it actually just made you smell better but not wash away dirt. Eric burst out through..will was more thrown out through some double-doors with a bottle of rum in hand and a blaster in the other. He then stood up, will collapsed upwards into a standing position if that's even possible, which it's not. He looked at the blaster in hand, confused as to why he held it and threw it to the ground and walked away from the bar..which probably had another fight going on for all he cares.​

"People just don't respect you....you bet like..money in a game and you beat them...and they all *chuckle* throw you out right before you got to the finale of karaoke or had that other bottle..*chuckle*...oh what a day, oh what a lovely day!"​

Eric said the last part with a big smile on his face and stumbled forwards. Boy, did he miss his old face. That Edward guy plus those little creatures and claw marks..will they did a number on his beautiful face. His face was once ranked at a 10.5 out of 10 now, now it was a 8.5 out of 10. Eric shook away the unpleasant thought as he turned down a corridor and tripped over a bar sticking out of the ground causing him to drop the bottle. But luckily for him, the bottle landed upright without breaking...now that was a miracle.​

​

Eric was unaware of the other people in the alley as he stood up and took the bottle from the ground and stumble his away along with his hand on the wall, mumbling a song that he quite enjoyed.​

"Oh...what a wonderful, world..."​

He still held the full bottle in hand and he made his way down the alley before noticing a truffle of brown milky fur in front of him, a dog! Eric knelt down onto one knee and scratched the dog's head behind his ears, the one spot a dog couldn't reach. He was completely oblivious to the other people near him.​

 

[Edward Blake]

Eddie grabbed the bottle and nearly emptied it into his face. Most of the rum spilled onto his clothes and the floor, but some of it made it to his mouth. Blake swallowed and sighed. Good looks, rum, those cute little hiccups...she was a keeper, this Crix.

He reached an arm over to her and draped it around her shoulders. After belching again, the Comedian began to talk, words noticeably slurred.

"I keel peepol...wellllllll, not as meeny as I used tooooo....but yu git teh point. He he heh... yuur, uh, yuur purty."

He peered up at the new guy calling the dog. Hey, he looked kinda familiar...but why was he touching the dog? His dog? Gr....

"Hanns auf de mutt, bub..."

His mouth opened a little too far on that one. His cigar fell out, landing on the stone step he was sitting on.

"Kark..."

His attention turned to the dropped cigar. Eddie picked it up and looked at it, then put it in Crix's mouth, chuckling, happy for now, alcoholic moodswings fixed there...
For now.

[member="Eric Quill"] [member="Crix Aigee"]

 

[Ibby]

[member="Edward Blake"] [member="Eric Quill"] [member="Har"]

Crix's shoulders sagged slightly under his arm, mostly because it was a big arm in comparison to her shoulders. Under normal circumstances, the Mirialan might not have tolerated a guy putting his arm around her, but it is imperative to remember that she was rather intoxicated. Thus, as most people, abnormal circumstances were considered normal, and today was no exception.

"Keel?" she slurred slightly, trying to figure out what he meant. "Oh! *hic* Kill! Cool *hic* kill kool *hic* aid!" The gravity of his words didn't fully reach her; she was more focused on the funny phonetics of Eddie's slurred speech. And adding her own.

The arrival of another imbibed individual distracted Crix from her present mission, and she looked up at the singing fellow. Before she could say anything, though, Eddie was shoving a cigar - his cigar - into her mouth.

Unfortunately, it was right at the moment that she'd chosen to inhale.

The smoke from the cigar burned her throat and nose, making her eyes water. The merchant had never been much of a heavy smoker; or a smoker at all, really, since she'd always gotten sick from it -- something which her first mate and heavy smoker, Sali Haszyn, called a crying shame.

The cigar now in her hand, and her nose wrinkled in distaste, Crix grabbed the near-empty rum bottle and shoved the cigar back in Eddie's mouth. Taking a swig to wash out the aftertaste of the t'bac, she then leaned forward, propping her elbows on her knees and grinning broadly. "Heeeeeeeeeeeyyy *hic* there! Join *hic* us for some fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun *hic* times!"

Another swig, and the rum in her hand was gone.

Crix looked down at the empty bottle, getting teary-eyed as quickly as imbibed individuals tended to. "No more *hic* fun times!" she wailed. "No *hic* more ruuuuuuuum! *hic*!"

 

[Edward Blake]

"This whole galaxy's a joke, ya know? It's all a joke."

Now smiling sadly, Blake huffed on his cigar. He was going downhill on the alcoholism rollercoaster now. He was at the depressive state now. Or was it the cynical part of the ride? It was an odd middle ground.

"I....karkin' love this galaxy. You can do whatever you please, to whoever ya want..."

Eddie produced a flask of juma, pouring some on the ground for [member="Har"] before passing it to [member="Crix Aigee"] and continuing his monologue.

"I saw the Sith...do some things to people. Bad stuff, so our unit, we did things ten times worse to the soldiers, and then to their towns and wives and kids. But that was war! I see this crap in the streets and I, I...."

The Comedian buried his head in his hands again.

Maybe someone talking to him about the things he saw and did would help.

 

[Ibby]

[member="Edward Blake"]

On the verge of sobbing, Crix nearly jumped with joy when Eddie produced another bottle of booze, grabbing it with greedy hands and taking a long, heartfelt swig. This fellow may or may not have been her type as a sober being, but in her drunken state he had elevated to demigod status. Poor, guiltridden demigod status.

Wiping her hand on her sleeve, the Mirialan patted his arm. "There *hic* there, Eddie. Life *hic* is a cruuu*hic*el cruel mistress, and *hic* you can't be the *hic* hero aaallllll the time, right?" She had no idea what she was saying, or if she was comforting him, so she reluctantly passed the bottle back to him, though the merchant secretly hoped he wouldn't drink anymore. That was good stuff!

 

[Edward Blake]

Blake passed the flask back to Crix, not wanting to drink anymore.

"Yeah, you're right... I ain't the hero, though. Sometimes I feel like I'm society's only protection...from themselves."

Now he was breathing, the cool air clearing his head. Damn, he drank too much, even for him. The Comedian turned back to the woman, still beautiful in his eyes, but not through beer goggles. He was himself now, more or less still tipsy, but not under the influence of the mood altering alcohol, albiet in a bit of a somber mood.

"Sorry 'bout that. I just had to let that out. What's a girl like you doing piss drunk here, anyway? It ain't safe at this hour."

My, what a gentleman.

[member="Crix Aigee"]

 

[Ibby]

[member="Edward Blake"]

What a gentleman! Clear and concise and straight to the point! Not like Crix, who enjoyed adding a little bit of fluff to everything. Because that was what the famous folks did, right?

"Ohhhhh...it's no *hic* problem!" She took a sip from the bottle again, sappy, sopped, and content for the moment.

Croix scrunched her face up, processing his question before the lightbulb went off. "I sold something reeeeeeal *hic* good," she said proudly, thumping her chest. "Otte- Otee- Ortoo- *hic* uhh...a really *hic* exshpensive silk. My mama *hic* would be sooooooo proud!" Her emerald turned onto him again, the goofy grin back. "Be​siiiiiiiides, I've *hic* got youuu to *hic* protect me!"

She suddenly became very serious, eyes wide as a thought occurred to her. "You *hic* will protect me, right?"

 

[Edward Blake]

Edward laughed, patting Crix's shoulder.

"Sure...like I said, I'm your only protection."

Blake threw out his cigar, the brown tobacco leaf flying far off. The Comedian pointed to the flask still on her lap, remembering it.

"You gonna drink that?"

He felt somewhat responsible for the beautiful woman, vulnerable and alone, wasted. He was definitely interested in her too, but he also felt like he had to safeguard her.

Great. Going soft again.

She mentioned silk. So she was rich too. Great. This lady was looking better and better every minute.

"So, you're loaded, huh? Rich lady running around the Underworld without a guard? Not even a boyfriend?"

Well, that was straightforward.

[member="Crix Aigee"]

 

[Ibby]

[member="Edward Blake"]

Crix looked down at the bottle, torn between hoarding it like a Hutt hoarded Twi'leks, or being nice and giving it back to the fellow who was willing to protect her. It was a tough decision; she felt like she and the juma had really bonded in the past two minutes, and it wasn't like her to just give up on those kinds of relationships. They were just too hard to come by these days.

Picking it up, she took another drink and passed it back to him. "Here *hic* ya go!"

Seconds later, the comment he'd made about Crix being rich made its way to her brain, and she began to crack up. "Rich!" she managed to gasp between chuckles and hiccups. This continued on for a full minute before she finally stopped. Then, looking at him with a pseudo-serious look, the Mirialan clarified, "I'm *hic* not really rich. Juuuuust every now and then. Like *hic* tonight! I'm a textile merchant. *hic*."

The woman didn't offer more on that, instead seeking to answer the second part of his question. "And *hic* that's why I'm *hic* running arrrrround -- to *hic* celebraaate!" Her face sagged a little though, as if recollecting a somewhat disheartening memory. "My *hic* last boyfriend cheated *hic* on me, with his *hic* masseuse."

He was such a nice guy, too, Crix recalled. But when she found out about the affair, the merchant dumped his karking patooty on a backwater planet and got the heck out of there.

Once again feeling blue, she sighed. "I *hic* need another drink. *hic*."