Antidote

[Itash Mecetti]

[member="Sortz"]

Samson rubbed his face a bit, trying to figure out what he was supposed to do next.

"Well, let's make sure your side is okay first, Sortz." He finally responded before leaning back just a bit. Carefully, as always, because there was always a danger there that a little bit too much lean would cause a crash. That was the last thing that Sam wanted right now. Part of him wanted to figure out just what had happened to Sortz- not just to help her, but out of professional interest.

"Need a refill for your caf?"

If she wanted, he'd take her cup with him while refilling his. Otherwise he'd just fill his one up again. "Hm. You know..." His facial expression contorted into some sort of confusion while he was pouring them a cup.

Sortz wouldn't notice with his back to her.

"This might be one of the longest conversations I have had with a person." Certainly one of the more interesting ones, that was certain. A moment later Samson came back and settled himself down in the chair. Maybe with two, maybe with one cup, but either way- he took another sip for himself. This was going to be a long night.

Could use all the help he could get.

 

[Sortz]

"Like I said," she mumbled, after his comment about her side, "It's not a big deal."

(Uh, Sortz? It kinda is.)

She was still only about halfway through hers, so she shook her head when he asked, taking another sip but holding onto her mug.

His comment made her blink. She paused, looked down, looked up again. Expression thoughtful, and then:

"Me too," she admitted.

"To be fair to other people, I, uh, I don't talk a lot. Not usually."

Not that she'd been talking up a storm here, but it was still more than usual if she could get away with it. Oh sure, she and Daro talked, but he did the lion's share of that. He was a talker, and she was a listener, so it worked out fine usually. She was just as happy to sit quietly as anything else, especially if she had something to work on. Of course, right now, she didn't have anything to work on. And talking to him was..... pretty nice.

Almost.... normal.

"You.... uh..... don't have a lot of friends?"

She regretted that as soon as it came out of her mouth. It made sense based on what he'd just said about conversation, but the comment of Daro's about friendship and the fact that the question itself was hideously rude-

"I'm sorry, that was rude and personal. Forget it."

[member="Samson"]

 

[Itash Mecetti]

[member="Sortz"]

He could recognize himself in that too, if he was honest.

This was probably the most words he had personally expressed in quite some time. More often than not silence was safer, less threatening, it didn't offend nearly as much as the wrong words in the wrong place. If Samson was an explorer, he did manage to find the wrong place quite often. It did help that the lack of understanding meant that he was most comfortable alone and within the silence.

Hm?

Samson tilted his head as the question she asked suddenly turned into apologies. "You don't need to apologize, Sortz." She didn't as far as Samson was concerned, in truth, for some reason he liked her asking.

Few people had ever been interested.

"No, I don't think I do, I could count them on one hand and still have fingers left over." A shrug. "It's okay, people see all of this." The scars, the size, the eyes and the intensity and that was where it ended. Once they discovered the character behind it... well, the pendulum often swung the other way and it wasn't very pleasant either, if he was being honest.

"I presume that not having access to your memory has had a similar effect?"

 

[Sortz]

"Uuuuuuuuuh."

It was clear she was searching for the right words to answer his question. She had been listening, nodding before- she understood. Which meant that he would understand himself because the reasons were much the same. The part where she didn't remember things certain complicated it but that wasn't the only issue.

"I suspect," she said slowly, looking down at her mug. "That is not the primary reason, no."

She thought back to Daro's comments about friends. He was wrong.... wasn't he?

"It complicates it. But."

A pause, Sortz chewing on her lower lip for a moment.

"No one has come looking for me," she finally said. "Which tells me that even before, there weren't people in my life who would have missed me."

That thought had been circling her brain all week. One of the things she had done, the first thing in fact, was keep an eye on missing persons reported, feeding them through a homemade algorithm in case, just in case, Sortz wasn't her real name and someone was looking for her as something else. This was the first time she was saying it out loud, and in a way, it made it more real.

[member="Samson"]

 

[Itash Mecetti]

[member="Sortz"]

That sounded very sad.

But it was a reality that Samson could understand to a degree- even if his purpose had been clear from day one (which did make some things easier), there was still an inherent loneliness to waking up one day without a history of your own and with a cold future stretching before you. It had been the reason why Sam went on his journey, trying to explore things, discover, learn and through those experiences figure out just what made Samson actually Samson.

Because even his name wasn't... his, was it?

Not until Sam made it his own. "I am sorry to hear that, Sortz." What else was there to say in a situation like this? Denial wouldn't have made any sense, because Samson didn't know her. And they weren't close, so it wasn't possible to really do much here.

Hm.

Except.

Samson did like Sortz. She seemed like a nice person and fierce, their conversations pleasant. "Would you like to be friends?" Wasn't it really as easy as that? You got to decide who your own friends were as Tryp had explained to him. Why wouldn't it be as easy as this? Simply ask, if you liked someone and hope that they liked you back in that regard. Samson didn't really have any concerns. Either she would want the same thing or she didn't.

It meant that either Sam gained a friend or didn't lose anything.

 

[Sortz]

She shrugged, as if that physical gesture could ward off the pang she felt in admitting that out loud. As if it didn't matter.

It did matter, however.

Rather a great deal.

Sortz didn't look up at him, just turning the caf mug around and around in her hands absently. It hadn't been an easy thing to admit clearly, let alone to someone else, and she didn't really like how vulnerable that made her feel. Part of her regretted sharing it. Mostly the part that was accustomed to people not responding particularly well to just the initial package by itself, let alone-

She blinked, looked up, a startled expression flickering over her face, replaced by confusion a moment later.

"Do-does it work like that?"

That seemed way too easy.

[member="Samson"]

 

[Itash Mecetti]

[member="Sortz"]

His expression turned thoughtful at that.

A sip from the caf was taken, while he mulled those words a bit. It seemed rather obvious to him- which didn't mean that his point was right. After all, if it had been as obvious as it was, then Sortz wouldn't have asked the question, would she?

Could it really be as easy as that?

You look at a person, talk a bit, enjoy their company (or perhaps find a like-minded individual) and then ask if they wanted to be friends. Why couldn't it work like that and more importantly.... how else would it work? Samson wasn't an expert on friendship, he wouldn't be reading self-help books to try and understand social interactions and the sort, if he had been.

But every book said basically the same thing.

Be assertive. Communicate. Express what you want in clear terms without pushing your desire onto them.

In the end Samson shrugged too. "How else would it work, Sortz?" Because in truth Samson literally got nothing.

 

[Sortz]

"I wouldn't know," she confessed.

A friend. Did Sortz have any? There was [member="Daro Tarsi"]- not a friend. Something, sure. Boss. Someone she could count on.... to a point. In some ways yes, without hesitation. But in others? He'd called her his daughter, but she suspected it had been more to make [member="Zef Halo"] shut up than anything else. She never knew what he said to take seriously and what to dismiss- it seemed to change depending on the day. So it was best to assume he didn't mean too much by it. For her own sake. Halo? A good sort, but a friend? Not really no.

That was the full extent of her interactions that were net positive.

"Uh. Yeah," she said finally. "Yeah I think that'd be nice."

Did he mean it? She thought he did. But she wasn't particularly good at reading human facial expressions at the bests of times, and things were still hazy around the edges.

"It'd be nice," she repeated, nodding.

"Thanks, Samson, for, uh...." she reached up, scratching the side of her head self consciously. "Yeah. Just. Thanks."

[member="Samson"]