The beach is nice, isn't it? Anastasia thought to herself as her bare feet touched against the sand. She'd been on the beach before, hadn't she? What was before and what transpired after her freedom had been given to her seemed so jumbled up still, even months later. No one knew who Anastasia Vi'dreya was, just as she did not. She was a mystery even to her own self, trying to understand herself and trying to be a big girl. She wasn't a child even though she had never been a child. She was not an adult yet either because she had so much to learn still. Somewhere in between, big brown eyes watched the galaxy with wonder and curiosity, trying to comprehend it. Rushing towards it.
She blinked as she watched the people around her as her vision blurred. She could suddenly see smoke spreading from the individuals, taking shapes of tentacles and strings as they spread out, meeting together. Throughout her body, she felt a long deep snake-like shiver, all throughout her spine. At the moment,
Anastasia had shuddered before blinking.
"Please stop," a small still voice pleaded outward quietly. Once her eyelids rose, she felt centered again and in the now. What she was seeing, she no longer was. There were just beings, the beach, the sand. This had been happening lately. The young Apprentice couldn't fully grasp what it was that she was seeing and it happened for no more than a second when it did and yet it felt more real than anyone she saw in front of her. Something was happening to her and she couldn't explain it yet.
It was a weakness, wasn't it? Seeing things seemed like a weakness even if she didn't understand it yet. She was the daughter of Darth Metus, she was Draclau. Sometimes, when Ana thought about those things, even if she hadn't fully grasped them yet, she felt herself getting sick. She'd spent what little life she had behind her a prisoner of her own mind, a captive of a monster. She had been weak from the moment she came into this world, her body possessed by the dead. She was too weak to fight her. It was another monster, a spirit of the Mandragora who helped her break free. Not her. She hadn't been strong enough to rid herself of Naha'va. She was a weakling. Unworthy of the name she had been given, unworthy of calling herself Darth Metus daughter. Unworthy of the lightsaber she carried at her waist always, a lightsaber Father had given her long ago. Not her though because she was weak. He gave it to Naha'va as she controlled her body still. Because she was too weak.
And there it was again, that feeling of getting sick taking over her once more.
You're too weak, Anastasia. You'll never make him proud of you. She thought to herself at that moment, need to close her eyes, head rising higher as she inhaled and exhaled the planet's air, trying to ground herself. Instead, she saw eyes in the darkness. Brown eyes turning yellow and red, then burning red before she heard as growl deep inside her. For a second, Ana thought it was Doashim. It wasn't. It was enough for her to scare her into not feeling sick, enough to remind her where she was, to come into the now. Eyes opened as her feet began to take her forward. She had a long way to go still.
Light years to go before I sleep, she thought to herself as she walked out.