Call My Name and Save Me from the Dark [complete]

[Aston Jacobs]

While the atmosphere in the room seemed to be tense at best while the footage began to roll, everyone just waiting for the moron to appear whom attacked the girl, and when that person was revealed Aston was surprised, or well....maybe not surprised at all. Aston stood their were his arms crossed and he closed his eyes for a brief moment and lightly shook his head. He didn't even know anymore. Things with his father had been sketchy at best. However when he appeared on screen voice it was just a testament to how bad things were. This was his father, and Aston didn't know what to think right now....other than.

"You damn fool...." Aston whispered as he lightly shook his head again, unintentionally ignoring Katrine's question. Not that he didn't want to answer it, but this was personal for him just as much as it was for them.

"I have to go." Aston said easily enough as he turned out of the room before getting one last look at the video before he would walk out of the room.


[member="Gerwald Lechner"] [member="Katrine Van-Derveld"]

 

[Katrine Van-Derveld]

Katrine had been focused on Aston, wanting him to say the words. Everything Nona taught her about Kamon Vondiranach wanted him to say it wasn't him because this didn't match her words in the slightest. At the same time, the wolf wanted blood, wanted fresh. Retribution for the life almost lost. She didn't care what excuses there were, Scherezade was a seventeen-year-old girl.

It was Gerwald who spoke first, asking who it was before he asked where he could find him so he could sink his teeth into his jugular. His words managed to pull her out of the tunnel vision momentarily. Her hand reached out for his only to find he'd walked away, making her look in his direct, seeing him moving towards the bed. On one hand, his affection for Pebble was sweet because she loved her, on the other, she needed him and he'd left to sit beside Pebble. The temporary distraction from the issue at hand vanished. Knowing they were facing a Rogue Jedi Master, who'd been at this for so long and Gerwald wanting to hunt him that drew concern in her. He wasn't strong enough to face him, especially not alone.

Beside her, Aston had whispered, head turning back so she could look at him. In a flash, he'd said he had to go. "Aston? What? No. You can't. You can't face him alone either," the blonde quickly retorted as if she'd spoke the previous thought out loud. Her breathing hitched. Angry, wanting to avenge Pebble and at the same time worried about the two men who were important to her. Kamon was Aston's father so their confrontation might have been easier but she didn't want him to confront him at all, not even sure how the Rogue Master would respond to being challenged. Weeks ago, if someone had told her about Kamon, she would have been sure he couldn't do any evil. All she knew about him came from Nona and despite his absence from his children's lives, there didn't seem much he could do wrong.

Now, she knew better.

[member="Gerwald Lechner"] [member="Scherezade deWinter"] [member="Aston Jacobs"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

It was one of those parts in the Darkness in which she wasn't sure how much time had passed. She had lost her body; she could just see the Darkness in every direction and there was nothing else. It was harder to count the time right when you didn't have a body. She didn't know why. It felt like an eternity had passed, but it could've been as little as a minute. Scherezade loathed it.

Something hit her over the back of her head. She fell forward. She looked up. She had her body again. She could hear herself breathing. She-

Scherezade shut her eyes and took a deep breath, knowing she had to regain her self control. It was too early to go crazy, it was too early to- What was that?

She looked up again. In front of her, stood... Her parents? It was easy to tell, of course. She'd seen them in her memories, not just her grandmother's, and she had holoimages of them as well. But they looked so different in the flesh, or in the Darkness.

"How could you end up here again so fast?" her mother asked. Her voice was much lighter than Scherezade's, like a singing bird of sorts.

"Because she's weak," her father said. Scherezade couldn't comprehend why he would say something like that. "My father began a purge on his side of the tree. Perhaps we should follow his example and do the same, starting with her."

"You can't kill our daughter," Nessarose answered, "she is still a child, not even Knighted yet. She needs more time."

"She'd had plenty of time. She even managed to play a little whore, just like her mother did at that age."

Scherezade gulped. Why was her father speaking like that? Why was her mother just standing there?

"I'm... I'm not..."

"It's not the physical side of it, little one," her father said, "someone let you eat a heart and you gave him yours in return, while barely knowing him. Why do you think he's no longer around? If you weren't so weak, you would have been the one to leave him much sooner than that. And now you are compromised, a Jedi killed your body, and you are here in the Darkness, where you swore you would never return to. What else would you call it if not weak?"

"Maybe you're right, my love," her mother said, looking at her father now, "it took two years before we traded any sort of emotion that wasn't hate. And it never made any of us weaker; quite the opposite. This sort of thing does not befit a deWinter, or a child of the Family of Darkness."

"She can't even properly fight yet," her father laughed, "she's still using knives! What kind of a warrior is that?"

"She was supposed to be a Sorceress. Brayden was meant to be the warrior. You can't both be warriors."

"Oh yeah, and Brayden is dead. He traveled to the Core, forgot who and what he was, and died at the age of thirty, his body and mind both feeble. You're never going to find him because he's dead in the truest sense of the word."

"It's a good thing we can make another four hundred children when we decide to come back," her mother said, "perhaps we should kill Scherezade's spirit as well and put her out of her misery. She can't fight, she can't use words as a weapon. She can't even get people to like her."

They both looked at her now, and spoke in unison. "You are nothing."

Scherezade screamed.

Her parents disappeared. She was in the Darkness again. Her face was wet with tears; she hadn't realized she'd been crying during the entire exchange. There was nothing for her to do, nowhere to run to. Her parents were right. She was weak, in more ways than one. It could be analyzed to death, but the bottom line was that she was here, in the Darkness, trapped for Force knows how long, perhaps forever. She wouldn't have been here if she hadn't been weak.

She was very much aware of her crying now, and the sobbing that joined it. It wasn't how she'd imagined seeing her parents again. Not even close to it. A meeting with her parents should've been a joyous thing, filled with hugs, and love. Not... Not this.

Scherezade almost missed the smell. In the Darkness, there was no smell. And suddenly, there it was; Gerwald's smell. The musky smell of forests and freedom that had belonged to Gerwald. Was she imagining it?

It took a few moments of Gerwald's hands against her forehead before Scherezade stirred. For the first time since being placed in the bed, her eyeballs moved, and suddenly her eyes snapped open. Emerald green eyes stared at a purple-blue ceiling. This was not the Darkness. This was... This was somewhere else. She opened her mouth, she had to say something, to test it, to understand what-

And just as quickly as her eyes and mouth had opened, so did they close, and the form of the unconscious Sithling returned to the same form of serenity it had been before.

Scherezade deWinter was in the Darkness again.

​

[member="Katrine Van-Derveld"] [member="Gerwald Lechner"] [member="Aston Jacobs"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

Gerwald heard the exchange between Katrina and Aston. His hearing had allowed him to hear a great many things other humans could not. When Katrine had first told him she wanted the beast her voiced had been lower than what it was now. That was the day he realized the pull he felt toward her was something more than just a thing of curiosity. They both had called it destiny. They belonged together, and were the only ones who could ever be truly equal to the other. Gerwald knew it.

Perhaps that is why he was taking what happened to Scherezade so strongly. He was going to have to tell them both that they had been unintentionally mixed up in something Gerwald had never in any point in his life thought would happen. It was also partly where his frustration was coming from.

He finally looked up from Scherezade and over to the other two.

”Will someone tell what is going? Tell me who this man is? I have as much right to know...”

Gerwald looked down. He hated how vague everything was and that the others had more knowledge about this than he did. That’s when Scherezade opened her eyes... then closed them... Ger looked up again.

”She moved... she opened her eyes... Kat she’s...”

He got off the bed and took the blonde’s hand. Gerwald drew her to the bed, kissing the top of her hand.

”She moved... she is trying to come back...”

[member="Katrine Van-Derveld"] | [member="Aston Jacobs"] | [member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Aston Jacobs]

Aston heard Katrine speak and then he heard Gerwald speak, and truth be told it seemed as if he was tuning them both out. He couldn't fathom why Kamon could've done this. He did know of his father's apparent blood lust for destroying the darkside, but still....this was family. No matter how you looked at it.

The man looked over to Katrine and then to Gerwald while it seemed they were now distracted by the fact that she had know woken up which was an extremely important thing. Aston watched with a small smile and genuine care as he watched them with the girl.

I'm happy your awake, and I'm sorry for what happened. Allow me to apologize for the sins of his father... Aston voiced through the force to the young girl. Aston needed some fresh air is what he needed. It didn't take him long to exit the ship and just stare ahead of him. The days ahead would be dark indeed...

[member="Gerwald Lechner"] [member="Scherezade deWinter"] [member="Katrine Van-Derveld"]

 

[Katrine Van-Derveld]

She was still waiting on Aston to stop and rethink his actions. Katrine no longer trusted in the idea of Kamon Vondiranach. True, she'd never met the man and shouldn't have had an idea of what kind of man he was but the stories seemed so real that she'd got lost in them. Now, she didn't want Aston facing him alone even if he was his birth father. Gerwald wanted to know who they were talking about but she originally hadn't moved, filled with so much concern.

The Lupine snapped out of it when she heard Gerwald speak again. She moved... she opened her eyes..., the words had reached her ears so clearly that when she turned, she'd been ready to move to the bed before Gerwald had taken her away and pulled her to the bed, her feet moving to catch up with his long strides across the floor. Katrine looked to Scherezade, trying to find any sign of her open eyes as Gerwald's kiss touched her hand.

He said she moved, trying to come back. It made her look back at him for a moment, a quiet plea in her mind as her knee lifted and she climbed onto the bed again, still holding on to Gerwald's hand until she was safely onto it, kneeling on the side next to her Ward, watching her. Closing her eyes, palms reached over the teenager's upper body, mind concentrating as she reached out through the Force to her. Her injuries were still healing, her body still alive. Her signature was there but it seemed so muffled and distant. The ichor was still flowing through her, repeating through the wounds. Now, she focused on the wounds as well, giving them a small flow of energy, repairing from the lowest edges still unrepaired, healing through, helping the ichor in the work. The damage was still severe that she could only do so much in one go but her body didn't feel like it was dying anywhere. Just that she still had a long way to go.

Leaning back into her feet as she'd finished, Katrine watched her still. Her eyes were closed, she hadn't seen what Gerwald had seen but she had no reason to doubt he'd seen what he did. "She's fighting, she has to be," Katrine told him as she adjusted herself off the bed before she leaned into, still watching her Ward. "She has to,"

[member="Scherezade deWinter"] [member="Gerwald Lechner"] [member="Aston Jacobs"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

They were all around her now, hoping, and praying to whoever or whatever they believed in. While the inhabitants of Stewjon had a god for just about everything, Gerwald was not much of a believer. His use of the force, and his reality as a Lupine made him skeptical of the existence of various gods. There was the force. There was the wolf. It wasn't until he met Katrine that the reality of something more had crossed his mind. She had a connection to three spirits, and he did not know what to make of it as of now. All he knew was that they were part of what was helping Scherezade recover right now.

Gerwald held onto Katrine when she leaned into him. It was unconscious and natural. Scherezade was laying in a bed fighting for her life, and Gerwald suddenly feared the loss of the other whom he cared about deeply. They had been his world over the past several months, and just as he could not imagine life without Scherezade, he could not imagine life without the white wolf. The wolf inside him trembled at the thought.

"She has always been a fighter... you know this. If it comes to it... if today is the date recorded in fate's book that she die, she will burn the page," Gerwald said referring to something Scherezade had said to him before. He had made her promise, but she couldn't, Gerwald knew it. Now he couldn't help but think she had done the exact thing he had wanted her not to do.

"No one has told me who did this yet? Who is that man, and why can't I just kill him now?"

[member="Katrine Van-Derveld"] | [member="Aston Jacobs"] | [member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Katrine Van-Derveld]

Gerwald was holding her but she only noticed for the comfort it provided, failing to notice how little she was affected now by someone's arms around her. It felt like something simple and easy like she had it her whole life. Instead, she'd watched her sister who still seemed too calm that she couldn't even try to pretend she was sleeping because it was too obvious she wasn't. Maybe not to the bare eyes but she could feel her body still repairing. The damage done to her was a scary sight, especially in those first moments Katrine had found her which was something she couldn't shake out of her mind.

She listened as Gerwalked talking about Scherezade being a fighter, reminding her she knew it before he'd go on talking about that if her date was recorded in some kind of book, a fate's book, no less, she would burn the page. Katrine looked up at him suddenly. "There's no book. The spirits keep that stored in their mind. And she can't die, she has so much to live for still," her eyes wandered back to her Ward as she ran all the scenarios Pebble had yet to experience. "She wants to kill her grandma, she wants to become worthy of leading Endelaan, she... she needs to find her twin brother," Katrine was telling herself all those things, convincing herself first. Scherezade had so much to look forward to and Katrine wanted so much for her. "And I... I want her to have everything she wants her life. I want her to rid herself of her grandma, I want her to be sure of herself, proud of herself, to find her brother, I... I," her vision blurred slightly as the images, all either figments of her imagination or possible futures of what was waiting for her though Katrine didn't know which as she looked back at Gerwald. "I want her to find someone like I found you. She deserves everything."

Both of them had futures ahead of them which were important to them but right now, Katrine didn't give a flying rat about hers. She needed Scherezade to recover, to be her cheerful self again, to come up with all sort of wonderfully insane ideas, to learn more, to become stronger. Katrine wanted so much for her like she'd never wanted anything for anyone.

[member="Scherezade deWinter"] [member="Gerwald Lechner"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

”That’s what she said,”Gerwald said as he pointed to Scherezade’s calm form on the bed. Gerwald just shrugged. ”What am I supposed to do with these spirits. I’ve spent an entire life trying to believe the stories were all lies, but now... seeing how all this works...”

Gerwald had a hard time being silent as Katrine spoke of things he already knew. They were desired he was very intimate with. He’d been intimate with Scherezade, and Gerwald could not be surprised. Several deep breaths were taken in as he tried to behave as though this was new to him, but he could not.

Then she said it.

"I want her to find someone like I found you. She deserves everything."

He could not remain quiet any longer. Gerwald felt all his thoughts running to his mouth.

”And if this is my fault? If she ran off because you found me, and I...”

Gerwald looked away. He sighed then looked back to Katrine. It had to come out now.

”I was with her... I made her promise not to do this if, that I was drawn to you. This is my fault Katrine.”

They were going to be hurt, but the truth had to come out. He cared for them both. If either of them could be happy the truth had to be told, and Gerwald had to make his intentions known, but they both had to hear it, and they had to hear it together. Maybe it was unwise that he said something now when Scherezade was fighting for her life, but he couldn’t pretend like nothing was going on. Two women had feeling for him, and both too close to each other. If his sister were here, she would have slapped him straight on the onset.

The wolf knew what it wanted, but had he ruined himself?

[member="Katrine Van-Derveld"] | [member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Katrine Van-Derveld]

What was he supposed to do with those spirits when he'd thought the stories were all lies. "The spirits were always real, they just didn't interfere as their connection to the physical realm wasn't strong enough," she commented off hand. "We all have spirits attached to us somehow but they're always there." Even now, she felt them. Not just her spirits but the deceased. Katrine was always a step inside the spirit realm and Scherezade had her own ghosts, even if she wasn't aware of them. They were around them, watching, waiting.

After she'd spoken, Gerwald question confused her. And if this is my fault? If she ran off because you found me, and I... Katrine blinked and kept looking at him, noticing him look away for a second before he looked back at her. She didn't speak but the confusion was washing over her with the what he said. Her upper body moved slightly away from him as she waited for some kind of answer.

I was with her..., and Katrine blinked again, staring at him now. Confused even more than she had been a moment ago. He'd made Pebble a promise... what promise? Katrine kept staring at him still. This is my fault, Katrine. There he went again, only this time, there was a certainty in his voice, enough to make the former question into a statement.

Her body still moved slightly away as her head tried to wrap around everything he'd said. "What do you mean it your fault? How is it your fault?" It was the first thing she asked, the first thing that her mind zeroed on, the words her head had pushed to the top of the list of things she needed to know right now. "And what's this about her running because I found you. I found you on Stewjon, I introduced you two during that expedition. Why would she run because I found you?" Second thing. As for the thing, her eyes narrowed just slightly. Katrine knew multiple meanings to the phrase with someone though right now, she couldn't follow as to why Gerwald was using it all. As far as she knew, Pebble had helped with training and then there was that one time mention of cleaning Pebble's ship when Katrine had said she'd lost the wager while they assumed she wasn't playing. "With her?" And what promise?"

[member="Scherezade deWinter"] [member="Gerwald Lechner"] [member="Aston Jacobs"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

Gerwald nearly regretted saying anything the moment it left his mouth. He could tell by the way Katrine was reacting that what he was about to say would damage the relationship they had. When Scherezade lived, Ger prayed she did, and heard it, he would damage that one as well. Mentally he was preparing himself for the loss of the only two people in his life right now. Not only were the only two in his life, they understood him. With Katrine it was more than that. She understood him because she was LIKE him. They were the same species, and she had always been more free than he until now. It wasn't just that, but he was drawn to her. The night they had found each other...

"We found each other..." he corrected, but Katrine was still questioning him, trying to make sense of what he was saying.

Prehaps he needed to just rip the bandage off, but he was trying to be sensitive to the feelings involved, Katrine's and his own. He would be lying if he did not say that he cared for Katrine... even... yes, he loved her. His actions didn't say it, or did they. He was telling the truth. What was more glaring was not that had been with both of them, but that he neglected Scherezade to be with Katrine now. That was more the crime than anything else, and he knew it.

"Physically... Katrine... I was with her physically. I made her promise not to do anything stupid because she told me she loved me, and... I couldn't say it back to her. The first thing that came out of my mouth was that I was drawn to you. Scherezade tells me that she loves me... and I was thinking about you. I made her promise not to rush off and get herself killed if I couldn't return her feelings the way she hoped, then she volunteered to go find the first strike team that went missing on Melida/Dann. I begged her not to go because it wasn't safe, and she went anyway. I went to get her and by the time I got there she was headed to quarentine. I was going to check up on her... but then... the singing, and I ran into you..."

"I think she left because I was with you, instead of checking up on her. That she was hurt and angry... and..."

Gerwald sighed. The next words were going to be painful to say, and it was going to cost him deeply. He knew they were like sisters. Scherezade was more than Katrine's ward, but she was family. Could anything be the same? Could he expect to say what he was about to and think that either woman would want to be in his life. Both of them were going to be hurt to hear it...

"In choosing to be with you... I fear I have broken her heart. I should have told you what was going on, but... I can't say no to you... even if I wanted to, I cannot. You wanted the beast... and you have him, but she wouldn't have been on Coruscant if I would have gone to see her... If I would have talked to her... talked to you... and..."

He could feel it... the relief of telling the truth, and the damage he'd done with it. If either Katrine, or Scherezade wanted him gone he would not be able to blame them at all.

"I am so sorry..."

[member="Katrine Van-Derveld"] | [member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

All she knew was that it had been a few days. The Darkness had remained dark, and there was nothing to do, to see, or to say. No memories haunted her, no evil thoughts plagued her. It was an ink silence, and that scared her more than anything else she had seen up until then. She knew what silence meant. Silence meant that she had shifted; from a fresh prisoner inside the Darkness, to a resident. However much time had passed outside of the Darkness, she was here to stay, and there was no need to torture her anymore for that to happen. She had been through this before, and now it was happening again. Only this time, she knew what she was missing out on. She knew of the life that resumed outside of the Darkness.

By the time Katrine appeared, Scherezade had had more than enough time to accept the fact that she was trapped. She stared at the apparition of the woman who had freed her from her pebble, the woman who had given her her first training, the woman who… The woman who Gerwald had said he felt a pull to. The memory sprung and Scherezade could feel parts within herself shattering again. This was too deep, too deep into the Darkness than what it was supposed to be. This was worse than the last time. The last time, she had been a baby, she had not known better. But now…

“Pebble, you need to stop looking so glum. Do you have any idea how long I’ve been trying to get in here?! Why is here so dark? Why are you wearing that? Why didn’t you at least use the Force to send a message?”

Was… Was that really Katrine? Scherezade looked at her. Katrine, of another thing sent here by the Darkness to torture her? She didn’t know. She had no way of knowing. If the Darkness was feeding her memories and fears, everything was open to it and she had no way to conceal even a little part of herself.

“Kat?”

“Why are you so surprised to see me? You’re in the spirit realm like you were when you were a pebble, remember? Only now you’re in a pebble again, but a different one. I found the original one in your pocket. It was much smaller than I remembered. And I’m still the Nightmother. I had the spirit of Jart, Doashim, and Lylek help me get in here. It took most of the last year!”

“A… A year?”

A year was more time than she’ had outside of her pebble. A year was… A year was enough for… For her parents to return and think she was dead. A year was enough for her brother to pop up and think she was dead. How could you convince them that the pebble was their Scherezade? A year was… A year was enough for Gerwald to realize that their moments had vanished into nothing and decide to do other, very permanent things.

“I know what you’re thinking. He totally did!”

Scherezade blinked. Gerwald appeared next to Katrine. She had not seem them in the same place since Orcus. Only now did she realize how big he looked next to her, or how small she next to him. Gerwald was smiling. For half a heartbeat, Scherezade’s heart threatened to melt. A moment ago she had been certain she would never see it again, and now here he was.

“You’re not gonna be happy in a moment, Pebble,” Gerwald said. Scherezade blinked. He never called her Pebble. She didn’t even know whether or not the nickname existed.

“Yeah, see, when he told you about that pull he had to me? He was trying to tell you really gently that you were temporary. And the when you went and got yourself almost killed by Kamon, he realized you were too weak to stand anywhere near you. So he came to me, and I marked him. Show her.”

Gerwald turned around, his shirt disappearing into the Darkness. His back… His back was marked with long, deep red scratches. Scherezade swallowed hard.

“But that’s not why we’re here!” Katrine chirped up, “see, you remember how I told you about Avarisa and her bones and everything? Well that wasn’t the end of the story, apparently. See, Gerwald and I decided we want to have a child, and we did, he was born two months ago and he’s a beautiful baby boy! And Avarisa wants him. I’ve been able to ward her off so far, but frankly, it’s getting too hard, especially when there’s a better alternative.”

Sherezade looked at the two in horror. Katrine was running her hands along the claiming mars on Gerwald’s back.

“Can you feel it, my love?” Gerwald said as he picked Katrine’s hand and bent down to kiss it, “she’s not saying anything. The fight has left her entirely. She is no longer the Warrior we used to know.”

“I see… Which is part of why this timing is so good!” Katrine replied, “I made a deal with Avarisa. She’s going to leave our son alone, and our family alone, forever. And since you’re here anyway and you’re not going anywhere, I sold you to her. So she’s going to come here and keep you company. If you ever get out of here, she’ll still be keeping you company.”

Scherezade stared in horror.

“So really, now you’ll have your grandmother, and Avarisa, with you! But not Jart, because you never told me about that little problem so I used the ichor sword to separate him from you entirely. Seemed like a waste of effort to fix it, you know?”

“She’s still not saying anything. She’s completely submissive now.”

“And that is perfect. Perfect! We get our future, she fulfills the destiny I primed her for-“

“What?”

“Oh, that. Yeah, you really think I would have gotten you out of the pebble for nothing? Do you have any idea how hard those five months were for me, pretending to like you and want to train you, pretend that you were adopted into the family? Everyone was in on it, in case you were wondering. And the training was to make sure Avarisa would be sufficiently interested.”

Katrine pulled her hand out of Gerwald’s and began to move her arms in the Darkness. The lights formed in her hands and began to take the shape of a woman on. Scherezade had never seen Avarisa, did not know what she looked like. And she would not know it now either. The shape of the woman screamed and Scherezade covered her ears, but it would not be enough. The light that had once upon a time been Avarisa slammed into Scherezade.

Scherezade screamed and fell backwards.

When she came to, in what felt like several days later, her head was throbbing.

“Hello, child,” a voice whispered inside her head.


[member="Gerwald Lechner"] [member="Katrine Van-Derveld"]

 

[Katrine Van-Derveld]

Katrine had heard what he'd said, attempting to correct her but she was still asking her questions and couldn't stop. At the same time, she was growing worried about the answers to her questions. Mainly, fault. How was it Gerwald's fault? What had she missed? There seemed to be a million possibilities going through her mind but not a single one had come close to what he told her next: physically. She blinked and stared. He kept going but Katrine kept staring.

Physically, the word was repeated. Gerwald was with Pebble physically. She knew what this meant, she'd always known its meaning even if Katrine normally didn't talk about everything her Mother had told her but she had gone into more details than any child normally went to, omitting only specific details when it came to her Father because frankly, not even Katrine wanted to know that many details about her parents' sex life.

He was with her physically, the thought repeated and grew in her mind. Gerwald's words were coming in her mind on like a broken record, growing louder. Katrine was still staring, being unbelievably still for someone like her, someone who had spent a lifetime completely hyper and heavily drugged from early age to contain what was inside her. Partly, it had been due to Avarisa though Mother hadn't known this. She had only see the child, who far worse than even she had been, who couldn't be contained. She had assumed far other things but she hadn't seen the wolf inside her daughter growing in a way her eldest hadn't. She was loud, she was quick, she was never still. She was Katrine.

Now though, there wasn't a Katrine, there was a shell staring. Even the sapphire didn't seem so intense in her stare as something inside her broke, snapped almost, causing her physical pain in her chest. Gerwald had been with Scherezade. He had been with her physically. And he had told her that he was drawn to Katrine which didn't even come close to what was really going on between them. It was barely a scratch on the surface of what was happening between the Lupines but Pebble had gotten that, if it was anything at all when Katrine, she had heard he had been helped by her Ward, her little sister, with training and that, because of a wager he hadn't truly lost, had ended up cleaning her ship? Fixing her ship? She couldn't even remember know which one it was, her mind was boggled, her stare was blank and the pain her chest felt like it was throbbing. No, she felt like she was about to break out of her skin.

Her palm pressed into her chest, trying to stop the pain.

Katrine was only hearing fragments of what he was telling her now. Couldn't return her feelings... she volunteered... singing... rant into her... left because he was with her... hurt and angry...

A shudder ran through her skin, emotions swelling. Pain, worry, fear, ...anger. Around her, things began to shake but Katrine hadn't noticed until she felt the bed behind her shaking, her feed pressed into it. She hadn't even noticed when she'd moved against it.

Her heart should have been singing in joy as Gerwald told her he was choosing to be with her but right now, it was attached to so many emotions that she wasn't even allowed to focus on it. Her Ward, her little sister, her Pebble . He hadn't told either of them what was happening, not really... and now, she was holding on to life just barely, fighting to live. Because of him... because of her... because of them. Katrine blinked suddenly, everything around her shaking more. "You... you kept this. You lied to me," she managed as her vision clouded again. Katrine, who wasn't able to lie, she didn't know the true difference between lies and withholding. They came down to the same thing when one spoke whatever was on their mind. Her lower lip shivered. "I'll never forgive you if she doesn't pull through," she finally spat out before her lips pressed together. She loved him, she loved him more than she could even comprehend but she loved Pebble so much too, she couldn't bear the thought of losing her in her life. Not when she'd lost so much already. Her sister was gone, her mother was gone, her brothers were so far from her... Katrine couldn't bare losing one more person.

She was shaking still, everything around her was shaking. Her anger was still growing. The only thing containing her right now was the teenage girl on the bed, knowing full well that if she exploded, she could harm her and Katrine didn't want to hurt Pebble anymore, not when she'd been hurt. Physically and emotionally, hurt.

[member="Scherezade deWinter"] [member="Gerwald Lechner"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

Lie... it was such a strong word, was it fair? Gerwald didn't know. A rebuttal started forming right away in his mind. He hadn't lied... he had looked for excuses to be with her because even though he left Stewjon to follow her, they were still kept apart it seemed. Scherezade had been the one to find him at the bonfire as he sat alone...

No... it didn't change the fact that he'd let himself behave like a fool. Another thought... the truth... this was never meant to happen, the pain, the hurt, he had never intended for things to happen like this... they just... had.

He couldn't say that either.

Ger had felt her break. When she Katrine clutched her chest he had known. How was it that he could have been so foolish to break her heart, and as he watched, he knew he would watch it all over again with Scherezade. It couldn't be ignored, and he wasn't going to pass it off to someone else to tell her. Regardless of the fact he had behaved like an idiot, Gerwald was still man enough to handle the trouble he had caused. Gerwald didn't want to admit it, but he knew it was very likely that he had lost them both now. While he did not expect anyone to feel sympathy for him, because this was all of his own making, Gerwald was afraid that he would lose the only two who knew him for who he was. They had both helped him come to terms with who and what he was, and what had he done... he had broken their hearts.

How was he supposed to tell Katrine that he had never even thought that Scherezade could have fallen for him, or how could he explain the night where they had shared the heart. The two had shared a connection, and it had been intimate. Gerwald hadn't known how profound it was at the time because it had just felt like the right thing to do. It was as right as being with Katrine felt right. How was he supposed to say he needed them both in his life. After what Scherezade had said, how she had confessed her feelings, how could Gerwald even ask that of her, to be part of his life, just not the way she wanted. It would be too cruel.

Objects in the room began to rattle and shake. Ger closed his eyes and sighed as he could feel her rage. Then the words...

"I..." wouldn't be able to forgive myself either...

Ger couldn't finish the sentence. He made himself look at Katrine, made himself look at the damage his actions had caused, his words... then he looked to Scherezade. His eyes eventually looked down to the floor, the tall man 6'7" suddenly made so low with the weight of shame.

"I'm sorry..."

It was barely a whisper, but Katrine would hear it... She was a lupine after all. Gerwald took in a deep breath, shuddering as he did. He'd lost her, he was certain of it. He drew his eyes to her... Gerwald was frozen. He didn't know whether to stay, whether to leave, whether he should try and hold her anyway. For once the wolf did not know how to react. Instinct told him nothing. Gerwald felt naked and powerless. He loved her... but he didn't know how to fix this, and hurt him to know that he'd caused pain to them both.

[member="Katrine Van-Derveld"] | [member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Katrine Van-Derveld]

Her eyes closed as she tried to calm herself down. Gerwald attempted to speak but didn't. Sapphire gaze refocused on him as Katrine fell silent, watching him. She was angry at him, she was angry at herself, she was terrified about Pebble, she couldn't even calm herself enough to make everything around them stop moving. Not because of herself or him, no; if Scherezade wasn't here right now, she would have gladly unleashed all she was feeling but because of her, she couldn't... wouldn't.

Gerwald spoke again, her hand rose. She'd heard what he'd said even when it was so quiet but she wouldn't hear it now."No." Katrine wasn't asking, she was telling. Right now, she could hear any more, she couldn't even be here right now.

With that thought in mind, she turned on her heel and walked out of her own bedroom and from then, she broke into a run until she'd reached the meditation room. It wasn't near what a sanctuary should have been, it wasn't far enough from the one who's caused this in her but right now, she couldn't have kept going further. So, the moment she had arrived, Katrine had screamed with everything she was feeling inside her, releasing the energy that had built around her. Multiple lights began exploding around her. It was brief though, lasting less time that she'd believed.

As it ended, she was left there breathing heavily, piecing together what she knew now, what she knew before, everything that had happened between her and Gerwald, everything Mother and Avarisa told her as she grew up. There was just so much on her mind still. She'd never felt this, she didn't understand what she was feeling even. A lifetime spent watching generations of Hawks hadn't prepared her for a moment like this, the very first time she'd felt anything like it. She was jealousy, she was heartbroken, she didn't even fully understand why it all came to her at once. In the middle of it was a teenage girl still fighting for her life. The spirits were quiet, Jart tapping at her shoulder now. "No, leave me alone," Katrine snapped at him.

~*~​

Four days later, Katrine hadn't said a single word to the spirits, Gerwald or the crew. The only time she spoke when she checking on Pebble. Once, she had said "I'm sorry", another times she'd said "Please come back to me", "You're stronger than this", "Fight"... None of what she'd said had her see a reaction but at least her vitals were getting better. She still hadn't woken up though, leaving Katrine mostly to her thoughts.

At the moment, she'd been pressed against the wall, sitting on the floor at the entrance to her closet, reading one of the books she had taken with her from her planet. When she'd originally taken them with her, the purpose had been to find any mention of Lechners in them so when she'd taken the first one a couple of days ago, she had almost put it back down, not wanting to do that research right now. However, she had ended up reading it anyway, reading old tales of the Van-Dervelds instead. She was still doing it now, a completely different book though. They were keeping her distracted at the moment as she read about ancestors she had never heard of before.

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

NO...

It was a demand, and Gerwald did nothing, he said nothing. He just watched as she stormed out, clearly not wanting to be followed. At least he could stay with Scherezade for now, keeping an eye on how she was doing. Gerwald would have to be gone before Katrine returned, he knew it, or perhaps he would wait. What would it look like for him to say he cared and be gone when she returned. Gerwald did not know what to do. He knew what he SHOULD have done. He SHOULD have never allowed himself to get involved with two women at the same time. He SHOULD have listened to the pull he had felt.

Yet, Gerwald had made Scherezade a promise, that no matter what they would not regret what had happened. It was going to be a hard promise to keep, not because he regretted his time with her, but because of the pain he had caused Katrine, and the pain that Scherezade was going to feel the moment Gerwald spoke with her.

He sighed. There was nothing sitting around would do. He copied the footage. Gerwald was going to do the only thing he could do at the moment. He was going to track down the man who had done this to Scherezade, because regardless of what was going to happen between them all... Gerwald still wanted to make the man pay. He knew that Scherezade would always have a part of him. She had given him so many "firsts." Even if it meant the death of him, Ger was going to find this man.

-----------

Four days had gone by, four ridiculous long days. Katrine had not made one attempt to see him, and he didn't blame her. She wasn't talking to anyone, and that had him worried. Gerwald refused to hide, the man wasn't a coward. Perhaps some would say he had been for not being forthright about his relationships. He kept checking on Scherezade, waiting for Katrine to be absent or occupied. It was awkward because he wanted to seek her out, talk with her, try and make things right between them, and yet something in him told him that it wasn't the right thing to do. All he could do was hope Scherezade pulled through, and that she'd improved.

Gerwald stood outside Katrine's door. Scherezade was still in the room. From what he understood of the machines was that her vitals were stable, and she was marginally getting better. This ichor was slow, but the damage had been severe.

He sighed and walked in. Gerwald should have used the force to see if Katrine had been in the room, but this time he wasn't thinking about that. All he wanted to know was whether or not she was doing any better than the day before. There was still genuine concern, and not just because Katrine had threatened never to forgive him if she didn't pull through. Gerwald was honestly concerned that forgiveness would not come regardless. When he stepped through the door he noticed Katrine looking through her books. He almost smiled remembering what happened the last time he'd walked into her room unannounced, but he refrained.

"I didn't... I wanted to see how she..."

Gerwald turned back toward the door hoping she would finally say something to him, but that hope was small.

"I can come back later if you that's what you want..."

[member="Katrine Van-Derveld"] | [member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Katrine Van-Derveld]

Katrine's concentration for the story suddenly vanished and she found herself attempting to read the same line three times before she realized why head rising as her Sense reached out. He was right outside the doors, Katrine realized, eyes closing for a split second before she looked back to her book as the doors opened. He just wanted to see how she was... he could come back later...

Her hand raised as she showed towards the bed without looking up this time. You pretty much did that without telling me before so why start now? A quiet little voice quipped into her mind though she bit her tongue, trying to get her attention to the book again. It wasn't working in the slightest. I could hurt you back, her mind reminded her of the thoughts that had been creeping into her mind the last couple of days. It took a lot of willpower not to do it, not when she hadn't had the intention to do so at all. No, she had intended on talking to Gerwald days ago about what had happened before her visions on Pebble had started which made it a second thought for the time being. Now, though the knowledge she possessed forced a dark cloud over her head. She wasn't dark anymore, she hadn't been dark for so long or entertained the ideas she was capable of in the slightest. Now a part of her really wanted to.

Instead, she kept staring at the old paper, trying to concentrate on the tales of old rather than the present but Gerwald's being here was making it really hard right for her to soo right now.

[member="Gerwald Lechner"] [member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Aston Jacobs]

"You win again." Aston whispered as he placed some credits down on the table towards the center of the ship. The few days that had passed were long and full of conversation and gain and loss of money. Aston felt that there was more to this whole situation then just the wounded girl so he did the smart thing and stayed out of the way for the time being. Not that he was scared of either [member="Katrine Van-Derveld"] or [member="Gerwald Lechner"]

It was drama that he didn't want to get into right now. So he spent his time shuttling back and forth from his ship to this one and helped out with maintenance duties and played pazaak with the crew members and got to know a few of them. Aston leaned back into the seat and raised his hands to his face and rubbed his face slightly then taking a deep breath as he glanced down the corridor. The corridor that led to where they were.

Don't even think about it Aston.... A voice inside his head kept telling himself....

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

Gerwald sighed. She was still not talking to him. It was a fate worse than death. Did he deserve it, more than a hundred times over, but at the same time they still needed to talk. Everything was in limbo. Gerwald hated this feeling, and if it were not for the fact Scherezade was in Katrine’s room, Gerwald would not be there. It was best to wait for her to come to him, from what he observed of the arguments his parents had, but this was not just an argument.

He cautiously approached the bed, looking at girl which lay in. There didn’t seem to be any change. It was the only mutual thing he felt that he and Katrine had in the moment. The machine which monitored her vital signs also showed just a slight improvement. Scherezade was doing better than his relationship with Katrine was right now. At least she was slowly getting better.

There was another issue, it had been four days or more since Gerwald had let the wolf run free. Sure he had changed to keep from going insane, but he needed to hunt, he needed to run, he needed... he needed his white wolf.

Ger shook his head as he turned from bed and went back to the door. He was going to lose it if he didn’t. Katrine had every right to be angry, but she was shutting him out entirely, and now it was making him mad. His hand rested on the door frame. He stopped thinking he was going to leave.

”Maybe I’m not just here to see how she is doing... I don’t know anymore. Yell at me... hit me... something anything but nothing! I can’t...”

His voice dropped to barely a whisper. Was she even reacting?

”lose you too... I need...”

What he had said the first time. Gerwald didn’t know where her mind was, he had no idea there was another for her either. All he knew was what was on his mind. She was still his destiny. Yes, Katrine had told him in certain words that they made their own, that she had created a new destiny. Gerwald wished he could say this turmoil had made it so he could be okay with whatever outcome, that he could survive it. So far, his need, the pull he felt toward Katrine, he ached even more for her. He needed her to make the pain go away, and yet...

Gerwald just waited... if she said nothing, he would go back to his suite and do what he’d been doing for the past few days... wait.

[member="Katrine Van-Derveld"] | [member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Katrine Van-Derveld]

She wasn't reading anymore, she didn't even know where she had stopped. Her head was lowered towards the page but the Witch's gaze was somewhere to the side where she could catch the man's shadow. Gerwald had gone to the bed and then left it, making his way beside her before he'd arrived at the doors. He was going to leave the room. Good!... Stay! Her eyes closed as she calmed the voices inside her head. They were both hers. At least when the spirits spoke to her, they were wise, Katrine wasn't, not right now.

It had been close to a week now that she hadn't changed. Almost a whole week since she'd taken the shape she ought to have. Inside her, the animal was clawing to come out but she knew it was as bad of an idea as it was to not change. Katrine knew exactly what happened when she didn't change too long, she'd felt it inside her mind. She was feeling it now too...

Gerwald was talking about his reasons for being here. He wanted her to yell at him, hit him. Anything instead nothing. Her gaze stayed lowered.

Yelling would help. Hitting would completely help too, a quiet voice whispered into her mind. It wouldn't though, not really. It could just make things worse..., again, her mind told her, playing with her. Either or, the options seemed to line up. You can hurt him back, her voice echoed, You don't want to bring it now. Her head just kept weighing the possibility, like a giant scale going left and right, unable to settle on either. Her eyes closed as she tried to shoo the voices away. I close my eyes but he's still there, another one reminded her...

lose you too... I need... Her eyes suddenly and head rose to look at him. "You need?" The question suddenly rolled off her tongue as she put the book the floor, closing it without even realizing as she pushed herself off the floor to face him. Not exactly face, with the height difference but faced, none the less. "You know what I needed? Honesty. What did I say about your freedom, Gerwald? What did I say? I'm not taking it from you. I haven't, I won't. All I need out of you is honesty. Before I have to find out everything that had happened... Force, Gerwald, I...," her eyes closed as she inhaled a breath to contain herself. Katrine still didn't want to speak now. It felt like the worst of times because her intention had never been to hurt him.

Her head lowered her eyes still remaining closed. She didn't want to do this, she didn't want to just burst out at him. There was no anger anymore, there was just a weight on her, the voices and the roars in her head.

[member="Scherezade deWinter"] [member="Gerwald Lechner"]