Tathra Khaeus
Hello,
I've picked up this submission will be handling the rest of it with you. Overall, it's pretty solid - Just a few things, nothing major.
1.) Image Credit: This link leads to a "404 Error" so I think it must have been removed. Please link to the
Deviant Art for Ned Rogers instead.
2.) System Name: This field is actually missing from the template. Perhaps it got deleted by accident? You'll need to add that in.
3.) Major Imports: Can you please narrow down what sort of weaponry is being imported?
Major Imports: Weaponry, Military infantry
4.) Native Species: Extint - I think you mean extinct. It's such a minor thing that I wouldn't bother pointing it out if there weren't other items on the docket, however, since we're going through it I figured I'd let you know.
5.) Culture: I would highly suggest fleshing this section out a little more, though, I won't say it's a requirement. If someone landed on the planet they would have very little idea of what they are getting themselves into. Even just a short blurb about the Draelvasier Culture would be a lot better.
Culture: Draelvasier Culture, Meritocratic, Militant and Occult.
6.) Stability: Please flesh this out a little bit. Is it dangerous? Is there any feel or theme that may be applicable here?
7.) General Notes: If there are any changes here that should be observed due to anything that has been recently renamed you may want to update that here as well.
That's all - Please let me know when you're ready for me to take another pass. Thanks for working with me.