Change Doesn't Always Come in the Way We Except

[Amnell de Portiers]

So often change is incremental, tiny turning points you don’t even notice. Then there are other events. Sudden, monumental, defining, that change you forever. ​

The day could be considered nothing but ordinary. The skies above were a beautiful azure blue, with a few wispy clouds dotting the horizon. Amnell had no work to speak of today. So naturally she wandered the open streets, walking through open marketplaces after open market places.

The pain nagged at her body and bones as it always did. It was the kind of pain that slowly ate away at your soul. Still despite all that she held a soft smile on her lips, and carried herself as if nothing was wrong. A mask. Her life was lived entirely behind masks, never letting others see the real her. The real her, she didn't figure anyone would care to know. Who wanted to know of such pain and suffering? How many were actually strong enough to handle that? So far, no one had been. And her life had been a relatively lonely one. Too many people walked away when they found the truth. It was cold, callus, but it was her reality.

Her body growing weary, she finally stopped at a small cafe. The only sign of her pain was the tiniest wince as she sat down. Pain so well masked. When a server came by she ordered a simple cup of tea, nothing fancy. Reaching within her bag she retrieved a small bottle of pills pulling a single one from the bottle to take it as soon as her tea arrived. If one was perceptive within the force they might have noticed her subtle and hidden talent. At the same time her aura was darker, fading to grey and not from any taint. It was fading because her life slowly was fading away, The disease that caused her so much pain was slowly sapping her of life.

[member="Kahne Porte"]

 

[Kahne Porte]

(Theme)

Terrible business...

Eyes scanned across his datapad that he held up in front of him a little bit, propped up on a stand almost as he held a cup of caf in his left hand. He took a small sip of the beverage before he set it back down again. Kahne had stuck around Naboo for a few extra days after the death of the young Queen of Naboo. Kahne's faced grimaced at the thought of her death. It was such a shame, she was young,intelligent and beautiful. Had a cure for her ailment been found she would have lived and most likely lived a long life. Some say the good died young, while the old and wicked lived on. Kahne didn't believe in this too much, simply because he felt the force had it's own part to play in things. Serving as a member of the Jedi and fighting under the banner of the Galactic Alliance.

The Jedi's finger swiped alongside the datapad as he was reading into something important and particular when a presence close by caught his attention. Kahne's eyes narrowed on a particular word for a moment as his gaze then slowly drifted up and then glanced around until he saw the individuals who had distracted him for the moment. Sitting in front of him but to the right slightly. The Jedi Master took a quick, yet good look at her until his gaze returned back to what he was doing. His finger slide against the screen again until a few moments later his eyes glanced back over to the girl. She was definitely force sensitive however, there was a hidden agenda within it, or so it seemed that way with Kahne. Cloaked with grey, that grey itself seemingly clouding his own perception on what it was. The Jedi pushed past that and could definitely see something, and that was pain.

But pain from what, he did not know. For he knew it was just a headache.

The Jedi looked back down to his datapad and took a deep breath. "You look troubled?" Kahne said towards her direction, looking to her and making eye contact for a moment then glancing back down to his datapad.

[member="Amnell de Portiers"]

 

[Amnell de Portiers]

Amnell had been sipping away at her tea, reading through her own datapad and the local news. It was a slight quirk of hers always wanting to be informed of the major events on the planet she happened to be staying on. Even now she was careful to keep her pain masked and hidden to avoid questions. Being sick, talking about it, wasn't something she often cared to do.

She glanced up as the stranger approached. A frown crossed her lips as he asked his question. "Troubled? I think just about everyone is troubled to one degree or another. But for me?" She sighed quietly and took another sip of her tea. "Just the usual stresses of daily life, nothing special, Master Jedi." It certainly wasn't the whole truth, but not exactly a lie either. It was something in between. "What business brings you here?" An attempt to move the subject away from her.

[member="Kahne Porte"]

 

[Kahne Porte]

"That makes sense." Kahne responded easily enough, he did know that everyone had their fare share of troubles in the galaxy.

Some more than others...

While Kahne felt that she wasn't being entirely truthful, it didn't bother at all. She didn't know who he was, other than the fact that he was a Jedi. So her business was her business...but it was something that Kahne had indeed taken notice of. Kahne reached for his cup on the table and raised it to his lips taking a small drink then setting it back down. He pressed a button on the upper right corner of the datapad and it powered down making a small beeping noise.

"The Queen of Naboo passed away last week. Naboo is one of my many homes, and it felt right to pay my respects to the late queen." Kahne said as he glanced around for a moment before looking back to her.

"What about you?" Kahne inquired curiously, a small smile alight on his face.

[member="Amnell de Portiers"]

 

[Amnell de Portiers]

*"Ah, I had vaguely heard something of that nature but beyond that I hadn't heard much." she sighed quietly, picking up her cup again. "You know, home is a little bit of a strange concept to me. Ossus I think is the closest thing that counts for home these days." She gave a shrug not saying much more on that.

"Coming to Naboo, the reasons were simple a friend of mine needed help repairing his ship and a couple of his astromechs, and i owed him a favor or two." She said with a soft chuckle, "So here I am. Though, my work is now done and soon I'll move onto the next." She gave a small shrug though regretted it as the pain intensified in her body with that simple action. Her smile faded so quickly, and Amnell did her best to cover the mistake soon plastering the smile back on, pretending all was well.

"Truthfully I just wander the galaxy a lot, looking to help friends, and fix things here and there. That's all really. A simple life, never sought much more than that."

[member="Kahne Porte"]

 

[Kahne Porte]

"It can be to some people. You go through life fighting something and home becomes just getting to a calm place, and trying to remain there for a long as you can." Kahne said with a simple nod and smile. He listened to her reasoning for being there and he again nodded his head in recognition. Thus something happened immediately after that that raised some more questions in his mind. The Jedi however feigned that he noticed that at all, and continued to listen to her.

"That's a noble cause, I did the same thing for a time before my return to the Galactic Alliance. A simple life is good, sometimes I like to think we are meant for something more. Which could range to a wide variety of things."

The Jedi Master reached for his cup and took the last drink and then set the cup back down. "I don't mean to be noisy, it's not in my nature so to speak. I have to say though, I do see that something is troubling you beyond the stresses of daily life...." The Jedi Master said as he took some credits out of his pocket and placed them on the table to pay for his beverage, and he placed his datapad away. "A simple life, with such a thing the worries or joys will always outweigh what's simple about it. Therefore...making it no so simple, it makes it something more."

Which in several case could be magnificent, or devastating.

[member="Amnell de Portiers"]

 

[Amnell de Portiers]

"I suppose you're right there. It's still a strange idea to someone that's never really call anywhere home, or ever truly felt at home anywhere." She took the last sip from her own cup and laid down a few credits to cover the drink.

"Best I figure, is we all need help sometimes and if I in some tiny way can provide that, then I'm going to do all I can to see it through."

Amnell frowned as the man continued. Her brow knitted together, a little frustrated he'd seen beyond her facade. "It does bother me sometimes how you Jedi types can see beyond the surface. Beyond what I portray to the galaxy. Because, yes there is something more, that isn't the usual stresses of life." The girl sigh heavily, extremely conflicted as to whether or not she should tell me what was bothering her, the cause of her pain.

"Look," she said firmly, her eyes locked with his and her lighthearted tone had faded, giving way to a much more serious one. "I don't talk about this. Because one. I don't like to. Two, most folks I tell only pity and baby me afterwards which I don't need. Or alternatively they run for the hills when they learn how hard life is around me. It ain't all rainbows and unicorns, that's for sure." Another sigh, "If you think you can handle it, and aren't going to be one to pity me, or run away, then I'll tell you. If not, you can walk away from this table never knowing this burden." She said coolly.

[member="Kahne Porte"]

 

[Kahne Porte]

The Jedi nodded his head in agreement. "Oh I quite agree, we Jedi types can be so invasive." Kahne smirked lightly as he took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. And in truth, the gifts and power that the Jedi held were indeed great and quite powerful. Perhaps it was the will of the force that he would be sitting here with a slightly flustered and upset young woman. But Kahne felt there was something more to be drawn from this, something better.

The Jedi then in turned listened attentively to what she said further, that caused a slightly increase in his smallest of smiles on his face, not trying to be coy or conniving or even clever. Things just seemed a little bit, overdrawn.

"Considering I've dealt with things more dangerous and rare than rainbows and unicorns, nothing surprises me anymore. In fact the only thing that I think would surprise me is if you revealed yourself to be sith lord hell bent on galactic destruction. However that wouldn't be to surprising either, I've dealt with those before as well." Kahne chuckled lightly as he rubbed his chin a bit before and glanced around before his eyes connected with hers again.

"I'm not here offering you pity or to baby you, we invasive Jedi don't do that. I do what I've always done, I offer help. If I didn't want to offer help, I would have never spoken to you the moment I sensed something about you." The Jedi's voice carried his message quite clearly, while Kahne was never rude or disrespectful to anyone unless they absolutely deserved it, he had the tenacity to be stern at times. While he didn't owe this girl anything at all, he felt that he could help her somehow, perhaps just be a friend.

"Also, if I may." Kahne said with a chipper tone in his voice."Sharing someone's burden, especially a friends isn't a burden it's an honor. Simply because you know you have the strength to carry that around for the rest of your life. You know you can make a difference in that persons life, even if just a small one. All the while helping them carry that terrible malice, whatever it may be."

Kahne rubbed his face lightly as he then took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, all the while making eye contact with her. "So...I'm still here."

[member="Amnell de Portiers"]

 

[Amnell de Portiers]

"A pain, really with how invasive you folks can be. One carefully works on their masks, to put on and wear for the world. So no one sees what pain and horrors lie beneath. Peel back those layers, and you find a different person completely." Oh, how she hated when someone easily peeled away her masks and found what was beneath.

Amnell sighed heavily, and leaned forward to run her hands through her hair. It wasn't easy for in the least to speak the words aloud. To say them, hear them, made it all so much more real, and that much more painful for her. "I realize you've probably seen just about everything, heard it all.... It still doesn't make it any easier for me to speak it now."

Amnell bit harshly at her lip, trying to will away the tears that were just beginning to form in the corners of her eyes. "This burden, breaks others. And I don't know that you are strong enough to help with it. No one yet has survived this very burden. They all leave, running for safety where life is easier and it's not so much a struggle."

With her head down staring at the table still, her fingers were entangled in her hair. "I'm dying." She whispered in such a way as if it wasn't heard, that it wouldn't happen.

"It's call Quannot's Syndrome." Her voice a little louder but still shaky. "There's no known cure. Only a single treatment to prolong my life which is complete organ transplant every five or six years. And that only buys time and lessens the pain for a little while." She sighed again, "The disease, it attacks nerves and slowly eats away at them, kills organs in a similar fashion. All of it, more painful than can be imagined. Pills are all I have to keep the pain at bay. And a benefactor took care of cloning my organs so a new set is ready when I need them." As morbid as it sounded it was just the simple facts of her life.

"I don't like telling people any of this. Most treat me differently, as if I might break at any moment, but I won't. I don't want pity, or special treatment. Only a little help every now and again when I ask for it. But, please, I really don't want others to know what is wrong with me. It's more questions than I want to answer, and I can't stand that look of pity I can see written on their faces every time. Normal is all I want."

[member="Kahne Porte"]

 

[Kahne Porte]

Kahne listened very carefully to what she said, holding the same expression throughout every word that was said and every tear that was formed. He had heard of such a syndrome before, that very disease was the same one that took the life of the late Queen of Naboo. An incurable disease to date from what he had heard and what he was just told a few precious seconds ago. Kahne nodded his head slowly as he took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly, taking time not to respond to her words at least not yet until she was done talking "I've heard of it before, it is quite terrible." Kahne said with a easy nod while looking her way. She did look rough, defeated almost, if that was the case. Waiting for some sort of absolution that wasn't ever going to arrive.

"I can understand your reasoning, and I respect that." Kahne said with a smile on his face. "You have my word I will take your burden with me to the grave, and not tell a soul. First thing you must do, is understand your life will never be normal. Because of your ailment, and because you have the power of the force flowing through you, I can sense that as well."

Kahne knew first off how difficult it was to have a normal life especially in a galaxy like this, he was sure no one had a normal life in this universe. With as much love,death,chaos and peace around were thing ever so normal. "Several minutes have passed since you have told me, and I'm still here, unscathed. It seems things are going to be alright." Kahne said with a slight chuckle.

"Where do you see yourself tomorrow?" Kahne inquired very curious to hear her answer, as he was here now. He was in her life to an extent.

[member="Amnell de Portiers"]

 

[Amnell de Portiers]

Amnell nodded. "Quite terrible is a massive understatement. Some days are worse than others where it takes everything you have just to get out of bed, and something so simple as holding a cup of tea is pure agony. It's a cruel disease, that doesn't leave any survivors. I just have some tiny hope there might be a cure of some kind out there. Something in some place that no one has looked." As long as she had some hope there was still a chance. Amnell wasn't ready to give up just yet and let the disease take her laying down.

"Thank you, that is much appreciated. It's an uncomfortable subject all around and I think it best others do not know." Some things were just simpler and easier that way. At least they were to her.

She chuckled lightly, "Give it or week or two and then you tell me if you''re ready to flee yet." Amnell teased.

"Tomorrow?" She asked softly. " I honestly don't know. I hadn't made plans beyond taking the first ticket off Naboo and see where that leads me." Adventure, plain and simple and the unknown all things she loved and made her most curious.

[member="Kahne Porte"]

 

[Kahne Porte]

"I'm sure there is one out there, somewhere...it just needs to be discovered." Kahne said in a soft voice, he knew that was easier said than done. "And, only time will tell." The Jedi smirked in regards to her comment about a week and he'd be ready to run.

The Jedi Master and long wondered about the lives of those whos fates seemed like they weren't in their own hands. The trick was to get yourself to believe in yourself and understand that there is something there, and that the life was worth fighting for, even if everyday seemed like it wasn't getting better.

"I'm an agent of hope so it seems like you are on the right path, and not false hope. But that true feeling of someone believing in you. It seems like you have quite the journey ahead of you." Kahne said with a small smile, and speaking of....

"My name is Kahne Porte." Kahne said with a small chuckle, he extended his hand out to her finally greeting her properly.

[member="Amnell de Portiers"]

 

[Amnell de Portiers]

Amnell nodded and sighed, "Right now, all I know of is a stopgap that buys me a little time. Cloned organ replacements as the previous ones fail. But that does not come without risks. A stopgap and pain medication is all I have to get through life. I still have hope that there's something better than a stopgap out there. Something that will do me more than just buy a few more years." So much weight and stress rested on her shoulders. Weight she shouldn't have had to carry this far alone but somehow, by miracle of miracles she had. "And it's all a race against time unfortunately."

She nodded again, the road was going to be a long one. And it would be a path that she'd need much help along the way. Reaching out she took his hand in hers and shook it gently. "I'm Amnell, Amnell de Portier."

[member="Kahne Porte"]

 

[Kahne Porte]

[member="Amnell de Portiers"]

"It's a pleasure to meet you Amnell." Kahne said with a nod of head, giving her a smile of hope and encouragement. "Well, truth be told time is my most valuable currency." She mentioned hoping that there was something more that could buy her longer and give her more time to completely find a cure. And while wasn't offering her the tree of life, it indeed was something greater.

"I can't offer you a cure,Amnell. But what I can offer you is a friend, who isn't going to pity you, but will help you fight this." Kahne knew very well, the force was his ally, and a powerful ally it was. Perhaps through strength and the will of the force the tides would turn for the young woman and she would live a life full of love and happiness just as the late queen should have.

 

[Amnell de Portiers]

"It's nice to meet you, as well." She sighed a little, and leaned back in her chair. With a single hand she rubbed gently at her forehead. "I think, it's the most valuable currency in the Universe. More time, that's all I want. It's so precious, and most folks don't really truly get just how precious it is, until they find it slipping away, or learn they have an expiration date."

Her brow knitted together and for a moment her eyes drifted down to the table, just thinking for a second. A soft small smile spread across her lips, "A friend? Gods, I really need that. I think I need that more than anything else. Just someone who's there, who isn't going to treat me like I'm the most fragile thing ever, and won't pity me.... Such a simple thing as a friend, is what I truly need." Traces of tears had formed in her eyes as she had spoken. It was hard to hide the emotions she felt at being offered such. "I just," She paused for a moment and took a deep breath in to compose herself. "I just, don't want to be a burden to you. But, if you are sure you can handle it, I really could use the friendship in my life."

[member="Kahne Porte"]

 

[Kahne Porte]

"First off, you don't worry about me." Kahne said with a reassuring smile on his face. "You need a friend, you have one." Kahne spoke again taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly.

"There is a ability within you, Amnell." Kahne nodded his head as he glanced around for a moment. "I sensed it, as I mentioned before. I think if you learn to use it, in turn it will help you control this condition. If it can never be gone from you, at least it would be controlled a lot better than it is now."

Kahne leaned back in the chair, his hands together as he continued to look at the woman before him. "If that is something you would be interested in, I'll be around here." The Jedi smiled and then chuckled lightly.

[member="Amnell de Portiers"]

 

[Amnell de Portiers]

Amnell's smile brightened hearing his words. Simple reassurance helped so much with her. "Thank you." Her voice a little softer, and finally she seemed to relax a good deal. And for the moment her own burden felt lighter, easier to carry. Revealing her troubles left the usual things, from pity, to fear, to treating her differently, to running for the hills in time, behind in it's wake. Truthfully most folks never seemed to carry that much interest in what had been the cause of all her worried and troubled frowns. Most people. That wasn't today though. And there usually wasn't a Jedi sitting across from her to see beyond the surface.

She nodded, "I've known, about being Force sensitive for a while. I never knew exactly what to do with it. It also didn't help at the time I learned of it, I was just trying to survive. Cloned organs, weren't an option then, and I was certain I only had a few years left in life at all. So, seeking any kind of training seemed, frivolous. At least it did to me, back then. Truthfully having it, the force, hasn't made things easier. I lack the control you mentioned and things sometimes just happen. Objects moving, a few things exploding. That sort of thing." She sighed, pausing for a moment to collect her thoughts so that maybe she'd ramble on a little less.

"I am interested in learning. Anything that might help me or those around me. I'd be most appreciative if you could, show me. Teach me about it. My hopes aren't high, that it'll help the disease. But perhaps it could. I won't know, if I don't try. And it's not like there's anything for me to lose in just trying." Some hope, even if it wasn't the highest hope, was much better than no hope at all. At least she'd not given up in fighting completely.

[member="Kahne Porte"]

 

[Kahne Porte]

Kahne could see it, he could see the pain, the feeling of what it meant to be on a time clock. That however wasn't going to change his resolve, and he wasn't going to let her resolve or hope falter either. The Jedi and said he was going to help her, and that was what he was planning on doing.

"I think that's the issue. Your hopes need to be high." The Jedi said with a small smile. "Perhaps it's just me, I'm a harbinger of hope. I see a situation and no matter what as long as I fight and believe as hard as I can for as long as I can, that things will get better. They will..."

Kahne nodded his head slowly as he showed her a warm encouraging smile. "If there is only one thing that I could teach you, that would be it. And before you know it, the force will be with you fully and you will take on the galaxy without a moments hesitation."

"When do you want to start?" The Jedi inquired with the same smile on his face.

[member="Amnell de Portiers"]

 

[Amnell de Portiers]

"It might very well be. A lot of hope has slipped through my fingers in the last few years. I've only managed to get a small portion of what has been lost, back in recently, but I think you may be right." She managed a small smile as she looked across the table to him. "I've been fighting alone, for so long, and losing, it became impossible to keep hoping that it might get better."

Amnell looked down to her tea for a moment, idly stirring it with her spoon. "I need to win again, or at least come out even for a change. I just need things to change the smallest bit in my favor."

Her smile did finally brighten, able at last to start wrapping her mind around the possibility that change was sitting right in front of her, within easy reach. "What's the old saying, 'There's no time like the present'... If you've got the time, now would be wonderful." A soft nervous chuckle spilled over from her lips, "I ... I don't want to wait if it can be avoided. Time isn't exactly something I have plenty of."

[member="Kahne Porte"]

 

[Kahne Porte]

"And you will win, and continue to do so. Trust me." Kahne said with a small smile. It was quite a beautiful day, peace is what was needed, and peace for her would need to be found. The Jedi held his hand out to her in a friendly manner as he jerked his head towards the streets and passed, today was a day by the waterfalls and the open plains.

"One of the keys is to be able to control your emotions, in particular your fears. I know you have great fear right now, I can sense that powerfully If I may say so. To be able to control your fear and live and strive on hope, your affinity with the force will become stronger than you can imagine." Kahne said with a small smile.

"What, do you know of the force exactly, tell me everything that you've heard,learned or seen."

[member="Amnell de Portiers"]