Counting Stars

[Hira Mitsae]

​

Sanctuary​

[member="Bethany Kismet"]​

​

The nights were peaceful on the planet of Monastery.

And for some reason that only made Sardun more anxious. He was and always would be a man of action primarily, to sit around and do... well, relatively, nothing was out of character for him. Yet, here the Jedi Master was and here he would be.

For as long as it was necessary.

He had come to build up a routine on Sanctuary.

Every night he trained, sometimes alone (often alone), sometimes dragging [member="Hal Terrano"] with him and sometimes with a group of acolytes who were more interested in combat than healing. Beth wasn't too happy about it, but she let it go. Both of them knew when to pick a battle and when it was simply better to let it go.

But after that training session, he would always retreat to his room, clean up and visit her room. Where they would chat.

Sometimes about something that had happened that day, or maybe a plan they were coming up with, perhaps some kind of strategy. Rarely, it would be something personal - maybe it was bothering them or they simply wished to share. Every so often Hal would shout down the corridor, telling them to keep it down and go to sleep.

They often did.

Today, Sardun couldn't really focus on his stances.

The night was loud, animals and instincts in the dark making sounds, that broke his concentration. After a few more attempts, the Jedi grew frustrated and decided to call it a night. Instead of going to his own room first, he backtracked immediately to Kismet's room. Which was closed - strange, but after a knock on the door and a few seconds of nothing, Sardun pushed it open.

Empty? Brows furrowed in thought and a small measure of concern.

 

[Bethany Kismet]

Bethany floated in the water. The edges of the deep pool were surprisingly calm, despite the waterfall on the far end. She drifted, weightless, looking up at the stars and the white line of Monastery's ring where it slashed through the night sky, brighter than any moon. Long dark hair floated around her head, almost invisible against the black waters, but the white of her shift and the paleness of her skin reflected the light of the rings in contrast to the night around her.

She knew she'd be late to her usual sit down with [member="Michael Sardun"]- but when the water called, she didn't hesitate. She had left a quick note in his room-

Will be late, don't worry. -B

And set out into the night across the quiet valley.

On nights she couldn't sleep, or just felt restless, this is where she came. It was not the first time she'd gone swimming alone, and wouldn't nearly be the last. Night swimming was a soothing habit she'd come into when she lived on Lianna with the Healers there- and was one she had never given up.

She knew she'd have to leave soon, another hour, perhaps, if she didn't want Michael to worry. In fairness, he often worried for no discernable reason she could see, but at least leaving him the note and not being too late would mitigate that. An hour would give her enough time to change and dry off before tracking him down.

Bethany sighed, closing her eyes. The sound of the waterfall, her ears just beneath the surface of the water, was a crashing rumble that filled her mind. She was weightless, the water cool compared to the warmth of the night, but not unpleasantly so. She smiled, not at or for anyone, but purely for herself as her hands brushed the weight of the water.

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Bethany Kismet"]

He leaned against her door and briefly wondered if he should ask Hal for assistance, before immediately discarding that course of action, at least for the moment.

If there was one thing that his friend hated it was being disturbed during his sleep.

Strange, because Sardun had heard him mumble sometimes, sometimes more than mumbles. Louder than that. Back when they had no building and simply camped out under the stars. Life had not been kind to Hal, but the man wore it with a stoic patience that rivaled his own sometimes.

No, the Jedi Master would leave Hal to his sleep for now.

But what then? He knew it, but did not want to commit, didn't want to dig that out, yet, Sardun knew that not acting could have far worse consequences.

Maybe nothing had happened or maybe everything had happened.

His eyes closed, teeth gritted as he looked inwards towards portions of himself shoved down deep. From there, he pulled and as his eyes opened, Sardun could see. Many, many traces of signatures moving through one another up and down the corridor without any semblance of order.

But Bethany was there too.

As clear as day, white and shining bright.

Sardun followed that thin trail, down the corridor, downstairs and outside. For a moment the amount of stars almost overwhelmed him in this state of instinct and tracking, before he centered himself.

East, what lay east?

His presence in the Force shrunk to a pin-point. It would not be wise to announce his presence, if this was a situation that made caution a necessity.

 

[Bethany Kismet]

Water streaming, Bethany boosted herself out of the pool. Bare feet padded across the moss covered rocks as she hopped from spot to spot, balancing carefully in between. There was a path, mostly hidden by ferns, that led up the side of the falls, and a few moments later she was scrambling up it.

The air grew cooler, sweeter, on the way up to the top of the falls. Even in daylight, the precipice was black, jutting out over the pool far below it. By the time she reached the top, the thin fabric of her shift had mostly dried in the nighttime breeze, though her long hair still hung wet and heavy down her back.

She paused then, at the top of the falls, gazing out over the valley. She could see in the distance the white stones of Sanctuary reflecting the light from the planet's rings. Everything else lay in the heavy shadow of night. Shielded by the mountains and circular monoliths, the valley was peaceful. Serene.

Drawing in a deep breath, Bethany closed her eyes. The water rushed by her feet, scant inches away, as it went roaring over the falls.

She didn't feel [member="Michael Sardun"]'s approach, shrunken as he was in the Force.

Placing her feet carefully, she backed up a few paces, disappearing from the edge. Then, half a dozen light steps, swift and sure-

Bethany flung herself over the edge of the falls, arms out. The wind pulled at her hair and she laughed, the sound ripped away as she sliced through the air. She angled her body, hands reaching down. It was only a few heartbeats before she cleaved the deep waters on the far side of the pool, vanishing beneath the surface.

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Bethany Kismet"]

Joy was filtering through the clearing and it put Sardun at ease.

It meant that there wasn't anything wrong, no Sith infiltrating the compound or an-

Well, that was Bethany. Sardun stood there, amidst the trees and the vegetation, and wasn't sure what to do in that moment. Besides blink once, when she rose herself up from the pool, tip-toed around the stones and found her way up, up onto the hill. There was a certain grace to her, an edge he had not seen before.

Michael blinked again.

Then, as he was about to retreat back to safety, Kismet jumped off the ledge and with a swan-dive flew back into the water. As she came crashing through the surface again, water flashing and her laugh up high, Sardun couldn't help himself.

"You really don't need to make a show out of it, there isn't anyone else here, you know." The Jedi remarked dryly, while walking out of the forest and onto the edge of the pool.

"You weren't in your room, so I came looking."

A bit more serious now, to explain why he was here.

 

[Bethany Kismet]

She kicked down as the momentum from the dive slowed, reaching for the bottom of the pool. She hadn't yet felt her fingers brush against the stones there on any previous dive, but she kept trying. The barest trace of feathery water weeds slipped against the tips of her fingers and she grinned. Turning, she kicked up, breaking the surface of the water a moment later.

Shaking the water from her eyes, she blinked, turning around fast in the water as [member="Michael Sardun"]'s voice called out.

"Mmm, you discovered my secret," she called out, treading water. "The fact that I only act that way in *private*."

It was a joke. Sort of. It would be more of one if it weren't actually true.

She side armed just to where her feet touched the bottom again, then stayed there, her chin just above the water.

"I left you a note," she commented, head tilting slightly. "That I'd be late. Didn't you see it?"

Asking him how he found her was ridiculous. She hadn't been hiding after all, and she wasn't entirely sure she could have, from him, even if she'd tried.

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Bethany Kismet"]

The retort put him at ease, if only slightly.

This seemed to be a personal matter, something private - as she said - that he was intruding on and that had not been his intent. Briefly his brows furrowed in thought as she mentioned a note, had there been a note at her room? Surely he would have seen it on her door or on the floor... only after a second of introspect did the Jedi Master realize what had happened.

That made him chuckle a little bit.

His concern had been completely misplaced.

"My apologies, the training session did not go as planned and I went straight to your room." Further explanation, calm and steady now. "I did not think to go back to my room first."

For a moment he looked at the scene, the pool, the woman - Beth never made him uncomfortable before, why now? What had changed?

"I will leave you to it then." There was hesitation in that voice, as if the Jedi was unsure what to do with himself in that moment, but he didn't show it in his action as he moved to turn around and give her her privacy.

 

[Bethany Kismet]

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You always go back to your room- I didn't want you to worry."

She smiled apologetically, still neck deep in the cool water.

The vacillation between confusion, to calm amusement then back to insecurity was not usually what she expected from [member="Michael Sardun"]. Well, in fairness, she hadn't suddenly disappeared from the compound before either, at least from his point of view. Usually when she did this, she was gone and back before anyone had missed her.

"Actually, there's something I found I think you'd like to see. Can you swim?"

She had found it the first time she'd come swimming here, but hadn't shown it to anyone else yet.

"I think you'll like it. You can consider it my apology for you having to come all the way out here."

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Bethany Kismet"]

Her words reached him before he went back into the vegetation.

For a moment Sardun dithered back and forth between fleeing or engaging, like some cornered animal waiting for its instincts to kick in and finally decide for some course of action. But then he pushed it away - he wasn't sure what the feth was wrong with him right now, but the Jedi was getting too old for it.

This was Kismet and there was nothing scary about her.

"Haven't had a reason to do it in a while." The voice carried over his shoulder, before turning around. "But you will probably save my ass, if I start drowning."

He walked back again.

Looking at the water, before shaking his head and starting to disrobe himself. The fabric fell, making way for skin, muscles and enough scars to make any veteran blush in embarrassment. A practiced eye would note that those weren't just wounds from battle, some of them were too clean for that, too direct and surgical.

A practiced eye would easily see the signs of torture all across his body, as he ducked to free his feet from leather boots.

"So, what are we looking for?"

 

[Bethany Kismet]

Even in the darkness, the scarring across his body was impossible to miss. She didn't say anything, didn't comment on it- after all, he had never brought it up. She wouldn't be the one to intrude on his privacy if he didn't want to talk about it.

There had been a time where her body had been a mirror image of his, in that regard. When Bethany Kismet had died, five hundred years ago, she carried the weight of acid burns on her face, the same marks of torture and battle across her torso. But now, it was like those things had never touch her.

"I'll keep you from drowning," she promised with a teasing smile. Moving back into the deeper water, she watched as he disrobed. Then she realized what she was doing- her cheeks went a little pink and she turned away, looking up at the waterfall deliberately.

"You'll see when we get there.... it's a surprise," she said, turning back to him once he'd waded into the water.

​Swimming backward, she grinned at him. "If you're a strong enough swimmer anyway. Through the falls- behind them there's a natural cavern. We have to dive then...."

She paused, treading water in the middle of the pool.

"Do you trust me?"

[member="Michael Sardun"]

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Bethany Kismet"]

Loaded question, that last one.

There was silence for a moment.

Only briefly interrupted by the waterfall's cascading noise, the wildlife around them and the soft eb of the pool's water flowing back and forth. But before that same silence could turn from introspective to awkward Sardun broke his intense, searching look away from her towards the waterfall itself.

"Wouldn't be here half-naked, if I did not." He looked back again, his head cocking slightly. "Presumably."

Then he thought back to her earlier remarks, before snorting.

"Been your boulder carrier for awhile now, might as well go through a promotion." That initial awkwardness went away as they settled back into a more natural rhythm for them. Teasing and teasing back, nothing too serious or complicated there, but then he gestured for the 'falls.

"Lead on, very curious what you have found, master explorer."

 

[Bethany Kismet]

There was a moment where Beth blanched. It wasn't actually until he said it that she realized they were *both* similarly half-naked. White. She never had company while swimming so she barely even thought about it. Her face went from slightly pink to scarlet.

Well, the night and the water were both dark.

He probably hadn't even noticed.

And she certainly wasn't going to point it out.

"The force of the falls is pretty rough," she said, deliberately focusing on this instead. "Don't fight it- it's going to push you down no matter what you do. Let it happen and then about halfway down the pressure will ease off enough that you'll be able to swim forward again, okay?"

It was something she knew could make an inexperienced swimmer panic and try to fight up to the surface. Which was literally the worse thing someone could do. [member="Michael Sardun"] had always been calm, collected, but she thought that a warning of what was to come would not be remiss.

She kicked off, disappearing beneath the surface of the water again. She'd meet him on the other side.

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Bethany Kismet"]

"Yeah." He just said, before watching her kick off and dive.

Stoicism was good, it helped him hide the memories coming back.

Night covered them like a blanket as the water swallowed them whole, while one after another entered the currents driving them deep to their destination. Her face flashed in front of him, monstrous, lovely, talons sharp enough to cut through durasteel and blood welling up around her neck, her eyes were dead. You will infiltrate.... her voice faded away into the now. Sardun blinked and realized he had just been standing there.

Kismet would probably grow concerned, if he stayed away for too long. So with a powerful push he dove down, the water burning against his eyes, but he kept himself focused - it had been worse in the oceans, this was at least fresh water. His arms propelled him forward as they pushed the water behind him.

There. The currents of the waterfalls pushed him down and for a moment the Jedi was at risk of losing the precious air currently holding itself up in his lungs.

But then he felt the current moving him forward and forward, until Sardun broke through the surface. It was all foggy like a mist while he blinked away the water from his eyes.

"Hate it when the water gets in my eyes." He responded absent-mindedly.

 

[Bethany Kismet]

Bethany rarely worried about [member="Michael Sardun"]. But as the seconds ticked by and he didn't surface, her usual smile turned down slowly, heartbeat by heartbeat. He'd admitted that it had been a long time since he'd swam, and she was just about to dive back down to make sure everything was okay when she felt his movements in the water. She swam backward, treading water and giving him space to surface.

The look of relief on her face was clear, though the near darkness in the cave washed out most of the details.

She laughed, the sound deadened by the din of the waterfall.

"I know the way forward, but it's..... pretty dark, for about ten meters or so underwater. But it's a straight shot, and you'll be able to see some light about halfway through. Can you hold your breath for that long?"

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Bethany Kismet"]

She was laughing.

It was a pretty laugh and Sardun wondered why she didn't do it more often.

"Yeah, not a problem." The Jedi Master answered when he finally was able to see clearly again. He had never liked water, it was so flowy and without texture, it got into everything and was difficult to get out again. Very irritating liquid. But there was nothing to be done about it now.

It was then, when he tried to think of something else, that the Jedi noticed the white.

The white.

He started coughing, hard, almost as if some of that water went in the wrong direction and obstructed his throat. But after a few seconds he managed to regain control again.

"Sorry, think some of that water went the wrong direction."

 

[Bethany Kismet]

Her brow furrowed slightly in concern, believing his excuse and oblivious to the actual cause of the coughing fit.

"You okay?"

She waited until he was done choking on the water. It occurred to her, briefly, to call the whole thing off, get him back to Sanctuary and sit with tea and dry clothes. Then again, they were halfway there, and she trusted him to tell her if the swim was too much for him. She hadn't shared what she'd found here with anyone yet- and after all they'd been through, well, if there was anyone she could share it with, it was [member="Michael Sardun"].

"Ready?" She asked, once he seemed to be breathing normally again.

And again, she dived. This time kicking down, the white of her shift and pale skin the only things barely visible in the dark waters. The hole in the rocks she disappeared through was nearly invisible- how had she found it to begin with? And what had possessed her to follow it all the way to the end when, at it's entrance, there was no sign that it let out anywhere, let alone somewhere with air.

But about halfway through, as promised, a pale blue light filtered through the water. Using the side of the tunnel to push off of and gain a bit more speed, she slipped out into a pool rippled with aquamarine light. She surfaced, waiting expectantly for him, for his first sight of the cave.

A single hole in the cavern ceiling let in a sliver of light, a line of stars above their heads. But it was the roof of the grotto itself that actually glittered with a million dots of blue phosphorescence. Bethany didn't know what kind of crystals they were, but they littered the interior, shining light from within their depths. It filled the space with a cool, blue light, reflecting off of the surface of the water and amplified. A private field of stars.

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Bethany Kismet"]

She seemed to buy it and simply asked how he was doing.

"Totally fine. Haven't actually done this in quite a while, just have to get used to it again." Which was the truth, but not the entire truth of the matter. Not that it really mattered because the last thing Sardun was going to do was put a shining light on the real reason for his coughing.

This time he averted his eyes, pointedly looking elsewhere when she dove again, only after she was gone did he look back. It was getting easier, the memories were still there somewhere -- clawing at the back of his mind, whispering, begging to be granted passage back to his vision -- but interestingly enough what was happening right here helped against it. Maybe it was her presence, maybe it was just doing something and not paying attention to their calls.

Either way, Sardun was grateful.

It would have been a long night otherwise without this occupying his actions.

Moments later the Jedi was swimming through the water, his breath held and would for quite some time to come, his strength kept him going forward.

The darkness did not bother him, because the Force was around him even now. But the light was welcome regardless and as he surfaced once again, his eyes immediately were settled by the crystals. For a moment Michael was not sure what to say, because it was beautiful.

Eventually. After long, long seconds ticking, he finally looked back to Bethany.

"Thank you." He smiled, before clarifying. "For showing me this, I mean."

 

[Bethany Kismet]

Treading water with smooth, slow strokes, Bethany watched him surface. For some reason, she wanted to see his reaction to the grotto. It had literally taken her breath away, when she'd found it, and it never failed to instill a certain awe and peace in her soul each time thereafter.

Her eyes cast across his face. [member="Michael Sardun"] wasn't, in her experience, a particularly expressive man. His expression was, in most cases, neutral. Even when he smiled, it rarely reached his eyes.

This time, though, it did. At least a little.

She let go of a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding when he finally smiled.

"You're welcome," she said simply, her own smile soft.

Clearing her throat suddenly, she looked up and around. The light played over the water, over their skin, reflecting off of the water in their hair.

"There was a cave..... a little bit like this one.... on Lianna," she said quietly, a note of surprise in her voice. "I don't know how I.... how I forgot about that."

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Bethany Kismet"]

For a while it was quiet as Sardun pondered on her words.

They didn't talk much about the time before they met. Personally, he didn't like to think about those times, dark times, times before, of course Sardun realized that as some point he would need to talk about it. To revisit those memories and hopefully come to terms with them, but that wasn't now and would probably not be for a very long time to come ahead.

But after all the Jedi had experienced, he knew a thing or two about the issue she was likely facing.

"Sometimes... we live, we experience, we move and through time we leave things behind that we would rather have taken with us. The beauty is that with enough effort, you can always look back over your shoulder, see the path you made, retrace your steps and pick it back up."

His eyes weren't on her, when he spoke, they were on the shimmering light cascading around the water waves, because Michael wasn't aware of how much it truly meant for Bethany yet. Only after a few moments, giving her time to compose if necessary, did the Jedi look back up and made eye contact. There was a little smile now, a sad one, implying that his words came from a source of personal experience.

"But what does a boulder carrier know, eh?"

 

[Bethany Kismet]

"I'm not sure I would pick them back up," she said quietly. "Even if I could. Sometimes, moving forward is the only path that makes any sense."

She was vaguely aware that she had forgotten more about her life than she remembered. Sekot hadn't been particularly concerned with the history of a single human life, even one that it shared its forest with. There were more important things than the sound of someone's voice.....

Or the memory of her husband's face.

Bethany had chosen, when she'd stood in the fire half a millennia ago. The knowledge that those memories were, at best, patchwork, was bittersweet. If they had been clear and vivid.... would she have been able to move forward, or would she have wallowed in them at the cost of these moments? In the grand scheme of things..... just how important were forty years of a woman's memories?

And yet, she would treasure the ones she did have.

His voice brought her out of a reverie she hadn't noticed she'd sunken into. She blinked, her eyes finding his as his words sunk in.

"Oh Michael," she chuckled, but there was a sadness in her voice.

"You are so much more than that."

She shook her head.

"I don't think I've thanked you. For everything you've done for me. You haven't simply moved rocks. You've been a rock. So, thank you, Michael."

[member="Michael Sardun"]